So next Monday it is the bank holiday, 6th May 2024 and my husband, son and I will be going to a cafe for a cooked breakfast.
It is a great opportunity to catch up with friends and family and this Cheat sheet gives some tips on what to do on the Bank Holiday. I also posted my cheat sheet for my other blog site: https://everyonecanbuildacastle.com
Here is the cheat sheet, which free to download and please share.
To let you know I do a life coaching programme at the beginning of May, called the Summer Project 2024 and will be blogs and videos to help you have a better life and better year so check it out, on Wednesday when it starts and did film a video talking about it too:
I have just posted on my other site Everyone Can Build a Castle and each week I post a free printable, a Cheat Sheet which you can download and save, and this weeks is about Saving Yourself time.
Hello and welcome back to normality! It is the start of a new term and means all systems go and so check out this Cheat she giving tips on Getting back from the holidays.
So not sure if you have read my other blogs but my son has ADHD and so he finds it hard to concentrate on one thing for very long. He has gotten better, but he gets so easily distracted, so here are some tips I have learned that you may find useful too.
Learning at home: If you do home schooling then set the scene so there is no easy distraction. I make sure the TV is off, the lighting is okay and then once they finish learning, like reading or writing, then they can play.
Travelling: Henry was pretty good when it came to travelling, only a few times have I have had problems but if they are restless then bring a toy with you, download some apps if they have a tablet or a book, just something that will help you and them enjoy the journey as you can wish you had stayed at home.
Eating: With learning set the scene. When Henry was a baby I would put on the tennis or Countdown. As my son got older we would have our son eat before we had our dinner, but in my experience if you are eating too with no distraction, then the chances are they will stay at the table or have them do an activity like drawing, especially if you are eating out.
Playing games: Just a few moments ago we were playing cricket for a bit, and this morning we played basket ball and table tennis in a local park, but soon after my son wanted to carry on scootering through the park to go to the supermarket, but with my mums help set a challenge to hit the ball across the table tennis table 5 times, and so setting challenges, can really help them want to continue. When my son finds something difficult he will tend to shy away from it, so keep it simple at first and try not to make it too competitive as learning the skill and getting the right technique, is more important and can increase the challenge, once they have got the basic understanding of doing the activity.
At first my son wasn’t interested in his scooter and he will lose interest for a bit, but then will shortly want to play it again, and give praise each time they have done some learning, been good travelling, eating nicely and playing activities and then they will think wow okay let me do that again, rather then be put off.
My son now turns off my alarm in the morning and when I haven’t gotten up when he has, he has pulled the covers off and pull my legs to the side of the bed, and gotten me up.
My son at the Cat Cafe in Westfields in Shepherds bush London
Now I have changed my morning habit I now get up before him and between 4:30 to 5am and it has changed me. I am getting stuff done like never before, and it just happened, check out my blog on everyonecanbuildacastle. com
When it comes to children they will start to be more responsible and they will start to do things for themselves and tell us that we’ve said something wrong. Like if I accidentally say take of your shorts please when he has to get changed, and he is wearing pants he will correct me and say “You got it wrong didn’t you?” and I reply “Yes that’s right sorry”, acting sheepish.
When we play football he will move me to the spot and places me of where he wants me to stand, when I am allowed to play that is and he has been watching a lot of Man City Football matches on his tablet and will turn my head for me to watch them too or tell me to “Watch the TV” or “Go back to the Kitchen” if I am making dinner.
My son will help his Grandpa, who is a caretaker of a school, to help with the bins. My son likes to help with cooking sometimes, but he gets a bit bored and his enthusiasm doesn’t last long, but the fact that he has helped a little bit means that he is ready to learn more and learn how to cook. That is a skill that should be taught to all children in my opinion, because if we want our kids to be independent, then cooking is essential to help with that.
My son at the moment is walking around the house with a duster. “YES” I feel, because the one thing we still need to work on is, clearing up after he has finished with something and making his bed. Kids need to learn how to respect the home and their bedrooms and keeping them clean.
Yes I was the one who, when my mum and dad would tell me to tidy my room shove everything in my wardrobe and draws, and become overloaded. I remember one time, as I would hoard, and my mum bought me a swatch watch. It was the latest watch at that time. This is the 80’s and kept on asking about it, and which I lied, saying it was on my desk, and asked me “Can you go and get it” and after 20mins or so, came into my room and said “Robert” my brother “Will help clear up your room”. It was my worst nightmare and it made me look after my belongings and room.
When I lost my first tooth I got really upset about it because I was scared of this tooth fairy that I didn’t want her coming into my room and waking me up, and this was when I didn’t sleep as I am often reminded of, and so they had to tell me the truth and they put the tooth under my brothers pillow and still got my 50p which was the rate back in those days, and made it clear I didn’t want the tooth fairy, but still have the money.
I would look after my own money. I like it when my son wants to pay for something. Like one weekend ago he wanted to use his money to buy a coffee at a coffee shop. It took me until I was at secondary to going into a shop and buy something for myself. I had such little confidence and would give money to a friend and she would get it for me. When a child wants to help with handing over money or use their parents bank card it is good, as they need to learn to pay for things themselves and be responsible when it comes to money. Check this blog I wrote that talks about teaching kids about saving money: Teaching kids about Saving money
Eventually our kids will have to go out into the big wide world, and create a life of their own and it is good to allow them to take charge, on different areas of life, as long as it is good and learn real skills. Lets share our lives as parents to support each other as parenting is a skill and so lets help one another to grow to help support our kids development, which helps us to develop and I am thankful for having my son, who brings me so much joy. I hope that this blog helps you, and thank you for visiting my site if you are new and you can subscribe which if you do, will be alerted when I upload a blog and I have a daily blog, check it out here: https://mydailythougthsandfeelings.blogspot.com/
I am also a author and so check out my Pinterest under My Books and this will lead you to my books, which I have written two parenting books, self help book and novels.
Have a good easter and there will be more blogs to come.
Hello, it is Monday once again and my son’s half term break is over and now returned to school and so here is my new Cheat Sheet I do each week, every Monday to help you have a good one and return to normality.
So it is half term here in the UK and my son has gone to his holiday club, and then we off to a cat cafe and book swimming, but there are other things you can do so check this weeks Cheat Sheet for inspiration.
Please let me know if you like these cheat sheets, and I enjoying putting then together to share ideas of having fun and stress free, and are completely free to download and print off.
Welcome to my blog where I share tips as a parent to help you too. Each week I am posting Cheat Sheets to help you get ready for each day and week, and this one is ten minute habits:
Hello and it is new week and means that it is time for a new Cheat Sheet, which I have begun doing for 2024 to help you get your life together. This one is about, Making life simple and stop being overwhelmed.
Please share with others, who may need a bit of support in getting their life together and print off. I like to share my life to inspire others in growing themselves and so I do have three Youtube channels, check them out below:
Please check out this weeks cheat sheet, to help you Take time out for yourself. It is so important to have me time, especially as parents, because sometimes we forget to, so make it a must that you schedule this time.
Hello and happy new year! So it is really cold now, and my son hates wearing a jacket or coat. He detests anything that has a hood, so a bit tricky when going out, and never feels the cold.
My son, since he was a baby has always had a good body temperature, but I know when it is super cold because he will, like last weekend, we went to play some football, wanted his jacket done up, and kids will let you know how they are feeling. He naturally been wearing a hat, usually mine, but has decided on his own to wear a hat, and you can’t force kids, So never fear, your child will see it for themselves of if they should wear their coat and jacket on. Not saying you shouldn’t care but stop feeling like a bad parent when they won’t put on a jacket when it is cold, and allow them to realise why they need to layer up, rather than nagging as from experience this will makes then resist even more.
The other thing is not to put the heating on too high, because they can overheat, and to help that is to invest in a room thermometer, which tell you what temperature of the room, and not near any radiators, or windows if possible because of the draft, and not to cover them too much when going to bed, or they take naps still, and when in their push chair.
Kids can get clammy, and sweat so if they are getting too hot then take a layer off, but if they are running around and not cold, once they stop play their body heat will drop, so then have them covered up and that they are non slip shoes on, when walking on icy pavements and paths.
Thank you for subscribing, and if you new that welcome. I hope my blogs help you and please give me feedback, as this helps my blog grow, and check out my Youtube channels and I share a lot on Pinterest, Facebook, Instagram and Twitter. Please see links below:
Hello fellow parents, I hope you had a good weekend. This weeks cheat sheet I am sharing with my other blog site: https://everyonecanbuildacastle.com because the things you can do to get ready for the day, are relevant to us mum, dads, grandparents and other guardians, and wanted to share on getting ready in the mornings to help set up your day.
I will be posting an actual blog this week, and thank you to those already subscribed to this blog site, it really means the world, and you like these weekly cheat sheets.
Please let me know if you’d like other printables. I will do these each week and have created one for my other blog: https://everyonecanbuildacastle.com
Being a mum has changed me, and my thoughts.. I see that he doesn’t multi task, but that it is good to focus on one thing at a time, and short spurts of changing areas in my life that leads to good results, is just as good as long spurts, and getting my life together.
Having a child with ADHD and on the Autism Spectrum, it is important to communicate better, as it doesn’t always sink in to them, and that I give him some control, when it comes to making decisions and that I am not saying no, but that we not going to it this minute, and if he is good, that he will be rewarded with the things he wants and making sure I make an effort to work on my behaviour too, like showing good manners and how to communicate correctly.
I know that sounds like what you’d do when training a pet, but given praise and rewards for when he does good, has a good impact, and that I teach him myself of good behaviour. I practice what I preach. I have to be careful of bad language and chatting, and allow someone speak first, as I have talked over someone and interrupted, and if you find it annoying, and your child sees this, they can copy and can influence other adults to follow the same habits and behaviour, too.
When it comes to diet, if I am encouraging good eating and being healthy, it has to come from me, in order not to snack all the time, and I am working on this, as I need to sort out my diet, as it isn’t always good, so I am in the process of having fuller meals, and not to snack so much.
Now we are going into a new year it is time to restart and reboot. So going to set goals for me and Henry to do together, and progress our relationship, as there are areas in which could be better, such as be a little more stricter, as I need to teach him about everyone is given a chance to choose what to watch on TV to, by making sure I do the same and respect others people property. That he is to respect other peoples decision and that everyone gets a turn, and not to kick up a fuss if it is not what he wants, as you can’t please your kids all the time, and that I make sure I am respectful in that area too.
If you have anything to share, then please do. You can leave a comment below.
So it is New Years day, so happy new year and lets all raise our glasses to all us parents and children, and hope 2024 is a good year.
The Christmas rush is here, and we can all feel that we haven’t got anything ready, and worry that the gifts we bought our kids may not be well received, and panicking a little.
Remember to take the price tag off and remember they won’t see the price, and even an empty box can still be fun and paint it to make it into a hide out, or into a Fort, and so, kids want fun and love anything that makes them laugh, sings a song or play imaginary play.
Party games always do well, including the old fashioned ones, like Pass the Parcel, musical Statues or musical chairs. Have your kids make presents. I love handmade gifts. I am going to get back into making handmade Christmas tags, greeting cards and food too.
I love Christmases as a kid, and yes there will be children that may not receive a gift so its not about how many presents you buy for your kids, and why not print off photos and have them make a scrap book, of the Christmas cards they received and something they can look back on, and if you have a foodbank donate a gift, and have your children do the same of their old toys they no longer use.
You can create photobooks on google with your google images, and these can make some gifts, and something they can look and keep forever.
If you have just lost someone, and you may feel sad about them, and your children feel sad too and not going to be there for Christmas. Have your children light a candle and do a display in their memory and have a toast to them. The first Christmas without my nan, who lived until she was 80, or around that age, was hard and then my parents got divorced, was tough and change can be hard. So the greatest gift is a hug, kiss and reassureance that things will be okay, and important to mend feuds so your kids have see all the people they love at Christmas, and don’t keep them in the dark, and be honest to them.
Yet I am installed with lots of good memories and that is what counts. I was lucky and it was good to see my cousins and aunty and uncles, and seeing friends. Coming together for our kids is whats important, and the greatest gifft to them, is you.
So I wish you a wonderful Christmas. I may blog over Christmas, and will be uploading on my Youtube channels and social media sites, see links below:
You will alerted if you follow me on this site, and not miss a blog, so remember to subscribe and then you won’t miss a blog. Many thanks to those who subscribe to me now, it really means the world, so lets celebrate and work together to share the love in the parent community.
Yes it is now December and I have bought 4 gifts, and still got to get my son a few more. I don’t go over the top, and budget but still want to let Santa know of what my son wants and make note of what he will be getting, and as Henry has grown it has been many different things.
Musical instruments and musical audio equipment: My son has a CD that he has been wanting to play and he loves dancing to musical, like Blippi and Justin’s House, and so got him a portable CD player and also my brother some years back got me a record player and so given this to my son so going to buy a record to see if it will play and in my opinion always a winner, and great to pass down to other kids.
Bikes, cars and scooters: Great to help kids with their motor skills, and helps with mobility and having fun outdoors, and great for playdates in the park and if in good condition can be passed down, and great way to get exercise.
Experiences: I did a video about this, on my youtube channel my way of living. https://youtu.be/i–zbKpxuos I bought a couple of Christmases ago a London Bus tour to see the lights of Christmas via Groupon, and my niece was bought by her nan, Horrible Histories tours, and was unwell to do it, so I was given the tickets from my sister in law, and it was really good, and my niece still went to next day, which I was glad about, as it was worth it and so if your kids like boat tours, then I recommment them, and there are many you can do.
Join your kids to a club. As a kid I always had a hobby, and for me that was dancing and great way to help your kids form good skills and interact with other children, and a great gift. Henry goes swimming and goes to a holiday club, and following on, on Experiences, why not invest them into a kids, club. Many offer a trial and have a whole year of fun. and making more friends. So good to have a hobby, and I enjoyed it. My niece goes to drama classes, and my nieces have done hobbies, and one of my nieces works at a local stable, and horse riding is a really good to do. My son was having horse riding at school, and really helps build their skills, rather indoors looking at a tablet all day.
Games. These never run out of fashion and loved playing games during the Christmas period. We would play many card games, board games and last year we played Pictionary and always a winner. It reallly helps to wind down after having dinner and having good family fun.
Henry has a strange habit of putting a CD on the flour faced down, in the middle of the door leading to the kitchen and neither me or his dad can figure out why.
He has done this since he was able to walk and it is a CD with his name on it, and also wants to play it, so going to speak to Santa.
What stranges things do your kids do ? Please leave a comment below, about your kids?
My son also won’t wear a coat with a hood and often doesn’t like wearing a coat, and so got him a jacket where you can take the hood off.
I bought him a body warmer, and even that he is not sure of, but will wear jumper but won’t wear a fleece at all. He’s not sure about polo shirts, but has to wear one for his school, and has a pair of sandals for the summer, but takes us a lot of convincing for him to put them on, and loves walking making train noises, as he is mad about them. He wants to be a train, and fear this as he keeps saying he’d like to go on the train tracks, so little worried but of course will supervise him to make sure he doesn’t and will travel again up London by train, and if he wants to watch the trains for a little while, then we do.
As a baby he loved being winded, and this was from the very early days, and in hosptial as he was in there for a month, due to being premature, would when I was able to see him, as I development an Oral Virus, would wind him and he wouldn’t cry and enjoyed the sensation.
He wouldn’t sit in the bath at one point, but liked swimming , and only liked me to give him a bath, and once he built his confidence on his own, with supervision, started to out of the blue sit in the bath. He wouldn’t want to come out, and why often you have to repeat making him a bath, for example, for him to discover that it is okay.
Now as I write this blog he is dipping his cracker into his hot chocolate. I remember as a baby when he would wake up from a nap be really grumpy, and to calmed down when I put on the song, Only You by the Flying Pickets or if I read to him. I remember a little boy I knew as a baby, and was a kid myself still, loved the Eastenders song, and Henry would cry to You Spin right round, by Dead or Alive, and I think it was the video of it that freaked him out and not the actual song.
Not sure if he’d like it now, as not tried, so may experiment at some point.
He at first wouldn’t be excited about Christmas, and was not interested in opening up presents, but overtime this has changed, and loves it.
So I will be posting more as we get near to the festive season, and so have a good week ahead.
Yes it is coming up to the big C and deciding what to buy for our kids, oh sorry more Santa will be and means having a good dinner, and consulting Santa on what gifts our kids want.
So, first of all I think choosing what you kids can help with and set a date to have the Christmas decorations going up, and why not make everyone a hot drink whilst you decorate in your matching PJ;s, with some Christmas music playing.
Take them to go and see the lights in town, depending on where you live and many places in London will have Ice Rinks and I love a Christmas market where they have a Santas Grotto, like the Southbank in London.
Create a Christmas folder. I will be going to get mine out to update and I have decided on the theme for gifts and like traditional in many households, write a wish list.
Get out the games. Last year we played Pictionary type game, and growing up would play card games. Shut the box is a really fun game and great way to have everyone playing together rather then on mobiles or tablets and make it a tradition and each year buy a new game.
Have a table for the kids to eat together, depending on the room you have. Each child has a cracker they can pull and activities on the table to help with them not getting bored whilst waiting for the food and nominate one child and one adult to give out the gifts and take note of which child it was that did it that year, and then have another child do this on the following year or boxing day, to hand out the presents.
I have done a printable for Christmas tips and so check out here:
As a kid I was emcouraged to play out. living on a housing estate we knew how far we could go, and were always told when playing out. that we, my friendds and I, stay togetther and go in before it got dark.
Picture of my son watching his favourite thngs trains
Today my son and I went to one of our favourite parks in Wimbledon to search for a cat we often see and wanted to look for her himself whilst I sat on the bench, and is him telling, “I want to do things on my own” and that is fine, as long I can see him and trust him more now, as there was a time he’d run off and if he saw a gate run out of it, but now came back to where I was and feeling comfortable in letting him walk around the park on his own.
I was lucky when it came to school as it was just around the corner and so when I was in my final years at Primary school started to walk home to school on my own, before then I would be looked after other parents, but as we go older the boundary of where we (tlking about my brother and I, could go further on our on, and of the estate, and to the adventure park nearby, as we became more responsible.
I know at some point Henry would like to go out on his own and it scares me not going to lie, and worry about it because of knowing where he is and make sure he will let me know where he is and when he will be coming home.
I will be getting him an Apple Watch to use to make sure I can keep track of his whereabouts, but at the same time don’t want to be intrusive and have him think, feel that he can’t be trusted. So, for me, when Henry can go out on his own will be when it is right for both of us, and not restrictive because from experience is not always effective, and can cause kids to go somewhere and not tell you and so it will be setting boundaries. Allowing him the freedom to explore, but safely.
I feel the time will be on, when I know he can cross a road safely as he is getting to that stage, but he not got a long concentration span and goes into his own world, so it is paying attention of his whereabouts, he can pay for things himself, can travel by himself and come home safely, and being street wise.
So if you are a parent and your kids have begun to go out on their own, and when you feel is the right time, please leave a comment below as I’d love to share and give me some tips and tricks.
I am not sure why but my son gets a cough and cold when we reach to the time of the year, Autumn and so gave him some Calpol as we checked his temperature and was a little high and put some Oabis oil on his pillow before he went to bed and put some on his feet too, and you can do the same with vapour Rub (putting it on the bottom of the foot) or the middle of their neck. Only Vapour rub not Oabis oil.
The tricky thing is that because my son has a good body temperature and never feels the cold it is hard to know if he has a temperature, but if they looked flushed on the cheeks, is often a indicator that they may have a temperature that is higher than what it should be.
Often Boots do deals on their cough and cold medicines this time of the year, and I use if my son does have a high temperature Calpol like many parents or Calcough. However if not sure talk to the pharmacist or contact your GP, but in saying that it not always easy to get an appointment at his doctors, and when my son was ill last Spring, I gave them the details to the receptionist of the what was wrong with my son, and told us to go to A&E.
However, by insisting that I need to see the doctor, they gave me an evening appointment with another clinic and found he had Tonsillitis, and needed antibiotics and now it is all done online, so not sure how that will work, but dread contacting them because they at any opportunity push you away, and see why A&E departments are struggling, and so don’t allow them to put you off, and don’t take no for an answer.
It means putting the heating back on, but a lot of families because of utilities costs rising, it is making it tough to heat their homes, but with central heating you can put it on a timer, and set up for when your kids get home from school and in the mornings. We for free got our attic insulated by British Gas, my husband sorted that out, but it has helped with keeping the house warm, and not getting to hot in the summer, and once it reaches the limited temperature, the heating automatically cut off, and keep the thermometer in the room you use the most and will help you see if the heating needs to be turn on or off.
Invest in a blanket, and I bought one from TK Maxx and originally was for a sofa we had, but now it is in on my sons bed in Wimbledon and great for extra warmth and invest in a thick Duvet depending on age, as have a room thermometer as this will help make sure that your child’s room is not too cold or too hot.
If their appetite goes then try making soups and warm breakfasts like porridge with banana, Weetabix or toast, and for lunch or dinner, soups, that aren’t so heavy on their stomachs if they don’t feel like eating, but worried about them being hungry, and that they stay hydrated.
I do get a bit too concerned, so need to work on holding myself back and not making it out to be a big deal as this can make him worry too and say that he is unwell, so try to not go into panic mode and have a medicine in date, in the Winter time, should you child get a cough and cold, and if they are bringing up anything or being sick by coughing a lot, then seek medical help, as it may be a chest infection,which is easily treated.
Kids will have runny noses and working in nurseries, they all can have a runny nose and so use a tissue on each, making sure we wash our heads, and make sure I have tissues to hand and bulk buy.
A nice warm bath can help too and I still use Head to Toe wash from Boots and lasts for a long time and great for their skin and they do a moisturiser too, Boots and great if they suffer with eczema. Also helps clear their noses and their symptoms, along with clean bedding and I make sure that any towels used are washed and that if I have a cold I take medicines and precautions that I don’t pass it on.
So I hope you have had a good half term, and that this blog helps you and many thanks to those who follow me on this blog and if you have tips them please leave the tips in the comment section below.
If you like reading then I have written two The Parenting Adventure books on amazon, under the name, Carrie Challoner.
Yes, my son breaks up for half term, some schools in the UK have already begun having time off as many schools have a two week half term, and so I hope it is going well, with your kids, as you love them to bits, but can drive you mad at the same time.
Image inside Battersea Power Station
My son has been a little devil the last few weeks, and being a little more strict with him, because Henry wants to watch his tablet as soon as he wakes up, but because he was mucking about, not wanting to eat is brekkie or get dressed for school, made it a rule that he can watch his tablet, once he has eaten his breakfast and gotten dressed for school, and yes he has been protesting but has started to be less stressful and wants to play rugby instead.
Tablets and Android devices can affect a child’s behaviour and so I monitor now how long he spends on his tablet and have sometime watching educational stuff.
I have discovered a new learning APP Called, https://uk.ixl.com/ and will be using it a lot next week, as I have been with y son in the mornings, done some learning in maths using this platform and is great APP to continue their learning out of school.
So I do have things planned for half term. I am taking him to the Natural History Museum because along with trains he loves dinosaurs, and then is going to a kids club for two days, and then plan to take him up London, and get the train to London Bridge, as he has been asking if we can do that for a while, so if the trains are operating then we will be taking trip into London from Epsom, and then it is Friday, and then he is back to school a week later.
If you visit London check out the museums, I often take Henry there because they will add new things to see when you go and one time we went I booked a film about the Antarctic and was so interesting, and you did have to pay, but wasn’t very expensive and was enjoyable to watch, but if you do’t do that then they are free to visit, but would recommend to prebook.
In London Bridge there are shops inside the stations, Borough Market and have street acts, then over the bridge from London Waterloo there is Covent garden and from there, is Trafalgar Square, and many theatres and restaurants where you can have a good meal.
Check out the UberBoat, we did this in the summer holidays and loved it. North Greenwich is a great place to go, as there is a Trampolining, Cable Cars, a Virtue Rollercoaster ride, which me and Henry did and wanted to get of at first, but was a great laugh, and then there is Battersea, and so plenty of things to see and visit.
So I hope that helps give you ideas. I am not sponsored by anyone, and personal choice and on attractions I have visited often that I know can be so much fun.
The mornings are challenging at the moment, because my son won’t get his school uniform on without a fight. He is obsessed with Kinder Eggs and takes ages to eat his breakfast. If any of you are nodding, and you are having these issues, then fear not, as you read, you are not alone.
I find it is someway, payback because I wasn’t always an easy child and it would take me ages to get up and get dressed too, for school. My son likes getting up, I hated it. And I never liked going to school, so I get him.
He has so much energy that I find hard to keep up with him, and now that he won’t get dressed or brush his teeth, without me and his dad getting cross, it has added to my anxiousness in the mornings, making sure he gets ready for school in plenty of time.
Setting boundaries helps and so if he doesn’t get dressed then I remove his tablet, until he gets ready for school, and he must eat his breakfast. When he comes home from school he has to get changed and not allowed to play in his uniform, so if needs washing we can do that, and helps not having to wash his uniform all the time and make sure that he puts any dirty clothes, in the washing machine. It is important to me that he has responsibilities and looks after his stuff otherwise, he won’t be given another toy or a bit of chocolate and that he is thankful for the things he has in his life and family who love him.
This is not to make kids feel guilty but know what is right and what is wrong and care about what he has and so if he doesn’t do as I ask then he needs to see that, he can’t get what he wants if he pushes a boundary that is set into place. At my sons school he has been learning about sharing as he finds it hard, but to form good relationships sharing is a must. This was something I picked up from my grandparents and parents. because it is how you learn to be respectful and be kind to others.
Whenever I have a pack of crisps I will always offer one and was how I built up friendships and it would be reciprocated, and my son can be kind hearted. If he sees someone with a dog, he will now ask of their name, and if the dog is friendly as at one time he would just go up to a dog and that can be okay, but dogs can attack and so it is good to install boundaries when approaching an animal or a person and not fuss if he can’t sit down on a bus, and if someone gives him something he will says thank you, and will always make sure, and it is effective, is praise and give a good reaction so it installs goodness in his mind, and being kind and sharing becomes a natural process, and like drinking water and eating, just does it without being prompted.
Kids play up and often because they want to test your boundaries, and my son thinks if he asks over and over again, of something he wants but can’t have, eventually we will give in, and it can be tough, because part of me feels guilty and question myself, but he needs to understand that, he can’t have everything he wants and he needs to be good, and listen and do as he is asked.
Lastnight, Sunday evening as I start this blog and winding down time, my son poured a bag of toys, because he wants to play with dinosaurs, all on the floor. He asks me about them and being honest, not my specialist subject. He knows them better than I do and I want my son to have fun, because it is good for him to play with his toys, and different ones, and this morning he had done the same.
He was a bit reluctant in tidy up as he went to play with something else after pouring his dinosaurs all over the floor and made sure he tidied up, and before he went to play with something else and in learning as a parent, it is good practice because they are more prone to look after their toys when it comes to tidying up.
Having a child with ADHD and on the Autism Spectrum, it can be challenging for them to concentrate and so in between playing at home, I take him out to burn off some energy and we go on regular walks and playing sports and it helps me help him. For the first in ages my son yesterday after walking he played in a the park on the swings and and then he wanted to go back home and then part of the day had him do some reading, which he can be again reluctant to do, and then had some screen time. This I eliminate as being on his tablet all day is not good and want him to do different things and so in the morning we played some darts, which is fun but won’t put it away when finished, so an area we need to work on and do some more learning, but not easy, as he will pretend he doesn’t know when we know he does and recently when he does his swimming class he will hold himself back, and not show his full potential, and this, as a parent can be frustrating.
We don’t have a strict regime, and seems to be doing a lot more better learning at his new school, which is a Land school for children who have learning difficulties and I feel I could do more in terms of help with his learning too, because I and thinking of ideas that will gain his focus and to want to do more learning that is fun. I think when it comes to learning, and I can be the same, it can feel like a chore, and so need to break that up, but do learning games and do different activities as he said on Sunday that he’d like to paint things.
When Henry was a baby he had real sensory issues with paints and sand, and wouldn’t play with using these, to create things and to help with that he had Occupation Therapy which I highly recommend, and wish it lasted a lot longer before he went to school, as it taught me to understand about how to help him concentrate and not run around all of the time.
He when he first began walking would want to walk in the opposite direction and whenever we’d go shopping would want to run around and couldn’t browse and it would be tough putting him back into the pushchair. I know I will get nods whoever reads this bit, as I know it wasn’t just my child and their a parents having that issue now. Let me tell you, it does pass, even though it can feel it won’t.
Giving a time limit helps and stick by it as I wouldn’t and think “He won’t know what is ten minutes is” and let them know ahead of time what time playtime in the park will end and can play in the park for how long, as long as they don’t run around or scream blue murder, when shopping or my son would sit down and go all limp when trying to pick him up.
So I hope these blogs help and thank you for following this blog site and if you’d like a good read, I have written a book called Mum&Me on amazon and hope it makes you laugh out loud.
I got this idea for this blog because lastnight and today when we, my son and mum, spent time looking for conkers and picking them up for the Autumn and it is a great thing to do with your kids. Now I know many may say it doesn’t stop spiders coming in, but in my experience it has and was a tip my Aunty gave me.
Autumn is a great time to have fun with your kids and you can still have fun, and that is going on walks and playing in the autumn leaves. Teaching kids about harvesting and picking fruit and vegetables that have grown, in the garden, and collecting leaves for arts and crafts.
Have a sleepover and camp out with hot chocolates and the other day we with our son had a picky bits night with Pizza, Chicken goujons and carrots sticks and dip and why not make some nachos if you kids like them, with sour cream, Guacamole and chilli if they eat that and be in some comfy matching pyjamas, and just relax and get cosy.
Have your kids cooking and teach them how to make a casserole for example and do a menu that they can choose what they’d like now the weather is changing and set a budget, for them and choose a autumnal food to eat. I love meals like pie and mash potato, with green vegetables and as a dessert, like apple crumble with custard.
Play board games or a card game.
As a kid I loved card games and games like Pictionary, where you have to draw or describe for your team to guess what it is, and give us a clue and often when spending time with family they will play Shut the box. I love playing games like drafts and Chess, connect 4 and even a computer games night.
Do a Autumn shop and have your kids finding decor and decorate their room and why, again can do arts and crafts for that and help decorate the home.
It is a great time to declutter to and have your kids change their wardrobe from summer to autumn, or revamp their wardrobe where they have clothes to wear all year round, I have a fashion blog for Women talking about Versatile Fashion and at the moment I am doing an Autumn reset, please check out my blog site: https://everyonecanbuildacastle.com In this I am completely tasks like sorting out my bedroom and a great season to do it.
I plan my year by following the academic year, so from August to July, but doesn’t mean you have to, but is a great time to complete tasks and get your kids involved to make it fun, and put a movie on or some of their favourite music and have a good sort out of what tasks need to get done and preparing for the colder season, with your kids and then reward them and yourself by going to the cinema and why not if you have a garden camp out in blankets and read ghost stories or play games.
I know it gets dark early, but you can still get so much more out of the days in Autumn and not hop on the underground if you can, in London or if you drive go to a National Trust park and park in London and see the sights. I love the Southbank and good for a stroll along the river and Battersea has been built up, with Battersea Power station having shops in side and there are buses you can get there, and soon the Christmas lights will be on, and planning for the next half term.
So I hope that you like these types of blogs and if you’d like to be kept up to date then subscribe and you will be alerted everytime time I publish a blog on this site.
It can be tricky waiting for a bus and your child gets bored waiting, or they want to sit in specific seat on the bus, and seen parents fight with their kids on the bus like me and it when someone helps it can be like “We need more people like you” but you can also get those who can see that you are trying your best to keep your child entertained and not kick off, but give you dirty looks and at the moment I want to say “I want compassion not a dirty look, and help”, but you are always gonna get people like that, so what do you do?
At first it can be overwhelming and you just want the ground to swallow you up, when our kids kick off, so for me I will stop and crouch down and make sure he is looking at me and I will give him an ultimatum and that is not threatening in anyway but just explain if they get on the bus and show you how to behave when in public, he will be rewarded when my son does something good, and this can be watching a film they like and use their tablet or play football.
My son this weekend nearly knocked a woman in the street on his scooter so I took it from him and apologised to the lady and if he wants his scooter then he needs to learn about respect and that pavements and parks are for all, not just for my son to ride on his scooter, and look where he is going.
You do have to be tough with children at times for them to learn what is the correct way to behave, all of the time especially when it comes to visiting public places and not to run around shops and give them responsibilities. Like carrying the basket, finding items and pay.
Before you go out explain to them how you want them to behave and be in charge of looking after another child with you, or find where we have to go. I want my son to have good manners and practice common courtesy.
Kids do have the right to say they are not happy, and their needs are met, but not to take life for granted and be thankful, and if they want to go on trips then they need to learn what is acceptable behaviour and what is not.
I know I chose to have my son and wanting children so we shouldn’t be complaining, but it is tough. Yes it is a joy, and love the time I share playing and keeping my son occupied, but when your child refuses to get dressed and running from you, boy oh boy can it be like, we have no where to turn, and you end up wanting to suck your thumb and dive on the floor too.
I love my son and our time together playing rugby whilst putting his dinner on is joyous, and I am always the one who has to crouch down on the floor pretending to be doing a scrum, if you are not sure that that is it when you put arm around each other and have to push the ball along with the players by using body strength, and the floor boards in the living room and playground really hurt my knees.
I know we shouldn’t be playing rugby indoors but would do it in the garden but my son has the tendency in kicking the ball over into a neighbours garden and be covered in muck and needs tidying up , but we basically do running and tackling and most of the time I let him get a try, to have a bit of a rest. I think it was a real game we would both be in the sin bin, because we both bend the rules. I often will run in the corridor to the kitchen back, into the living room to try and get a try, or in the playground I will wait until he is distracted by a train going passed and he won’t start the game unless when he kicks the ball I catch it.
It is good to make time to play and my son bosses me about and will physically take me to the part of the pitch of where he wants me to stand to try and tackle him. Yet when it is time to finish he can kick off so I have to warn him of when we will finish, and at the moment getting him to get ready for school becoming a hard task.
This morning he was dancing which was great but not concentrating in eating his breakfast and was reluctant to get dressed and wouldn’t give up his tablet until it is time for him to be taken to school.
You have to limit the amount of screen time and we do, but when it comes to getting ready it can help them to concentrate on something, and not worry about what they’re doing and just gives us a break, which as a parent we don’t always get.
When I want to do some computer work it has to be often when he is being looked after by my mum and step dad, but then he will come up to come back downstairs so has to be when he is at school or in the holidays, be at a holiday club and wants my full attention.
It does help me in that I will monitor my own time I spend on devices like my phone and has helped me to be more present but when it comes to managing my life I use my phone to remind myself of things, like making sure I top up money on my Oyster card for travelling in the week, taking my bits I need for the week and get ready for the weekends and so I do need that time.
Never under estimate parenting because it is a job aswell as a joy and shouldn’t be forgotten and as a parenting, we do our best and we need to regenerate for the world to continue on, and feel good in what our bodies can do, in order to have kids, because it is a life changing event and changes you forever.
Hello and welcome to another blog. What an Autumn so far. It is the first week of the new season and it is warm here in the UK, and means being practical when your kids are off to school or nursery or if you have babies then keep them safe.
If they are off to school and they are allowed to wear a school summer dress or shorts for girls and boys, then put these on. Try dressing them in light colours, and avoid black if you can. My son has to wear black tracksuit bottoms and a while Polo Shirt, and when it comes home he will change into something lighter, like shorts and a cool cotton t-shirt.
If they get too hot then if they can take their clothes off into something cooler then do so and in the shade hydrating with water and use a cold towel on their forehead. In hot days do a cooling bath, wash or shower and light bed clothes for when it is hot in the evenings too.
Remember sun cream and make sure you pack some sun cream in their bags, and if they get bitten then make sure you have a insect repellent that is safe for them to use and keep a eye on it, as if the bite gets bigger get medical support, as they can get infected and cause blood poisoning and swelling. I got bitten on my foot and because I picked it, sorry for the TMI, but it swelled up really badly and had to take antibiotics.
If they pick up a Tick, then, they don’t pull it out if you not experienced and take them to the doctors or the hospital for them to remove it. Some children can be allergic to bites and stings, and so make sure they have their EpiPen and know how to use it and that it is in date to be used.
If they wear a hat then make sure this in in their bag, but my son doesn’t like hats and is impossible so I just make sure he keeps cool and has cold water and nothing that can causes dehydration.
So yes it is the beginning of the school year and so more blogs to come.
Watching video by Zoe Sugg https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TnJjc0q9Chs who is due to have another baby, was sharing items that she is going to use for her next baby that she used with her first child.
As a new mum I had no idea of what was good to use and what wasn’t. We bought bottles and a pump that was a pain in the arse because when Henry, my son was born, found the teats of the bottles we bought, Tommy Tippee, too soft and so was recommended Avent Bottles, with a variable teat, and I bought a manual pump, but I could have chucked it out of the window, It was a Complete waste of money, so used an electric pump to express milk and never looked back, and there are portable ones and so is a must to have, along with a good steriliser. We had a microwave steriliser and an electrical travel steriliser. There are other ones that you might find better, but the Microwave one for us worked, along with the travel steriliser.
Henry never breast fed, because it seemed that he couldn’t latch on, and wished I had kept on trying but he still had my milk by expressing, and if I were to have another child would try breastfeeding for a lot longer to see, and all babies are different. I never took a bottle I was breastfed and then went straight onto using a cup, and with Henry he didn’t take to a cup at first either. I would recommend Hipp Formula milk.
For skincare I would recommend Boots Baby range. My son for a while suffered with eczema, and why we change his formula milk to Organic, which I recommend above, and used Boots Baby wash and cream and I still use it on him when he has a bath or shower, or even when he has a wash.
I still use Sterimar for his nose, that Zoe talked about in her video, and great for clearing children noses, along with Vicks, as when ever the weather changes he gets a cold and Oabis oil.
There are a few Apps for kids that I think are good and there is Youtube kids App which has good videos to watch tailored for young children and CBeebies App, and so if your child has tablet, those are the two I’d recommend. Henry does watch actual Youtube, but be careful with that, because there are fun videos for kids on there but some can still, if not careful encourage bad language, and what I have done is cleared them, and there is a parental lock you can use, and that blocks certain apps and videos on Youtube from your children watching them.
I would recommend in opening up a child’s bank account. Henry has a savings account for when he is older, 18 years and I add to this each month, and worth it, as you do have to think about your children’s future. I did a video talking about this along giving gifts for kids: https://youtu.be/i–zbKpxuos
Audio books. These were a good alternative to reading a book, when tired and sleep deprived, these made a difference and would recommend the Disney ones, and the songs too. Henry still likes a story before bed and loves the Tiger who came to tea, and Billy Goats Gruff. He can read books himself and we use Biff and Chip books. He has development delay, but they are becoming easier and on Youtube you can watch Blippi, which my son loves and went to see his show today, and was really good fun, and have also seen, the show The Tiger Who Came To Tea, The Gingerbread man and Zog. Check out the Polka Theatres, The Rose where we went to today, and saw Zog there too, and the Theatre in Woking.
We are going to see the Shrek Musical at the end of September at the Wimbledon Theatre, and very in expensive.
Sheet protectors for children’s beds, especially if you are toilet training and bed pads too for any accidents at night, along with a portable toilet seat. Henry didn’t take to the potty and went straight to using the big toilet. Every child is different and there are potties that play songs and says if they actually went.
A travel cot. We had one that was super convenient and you have to buy the mattress separately, which I had no idea until we went to buy one, but was a great investment and there are bedding too that you can buy to fit the mattress, and as long as it is in good decision can be passed on to someone else or for another baby.
When it comes to school uniform, you can get good sales on Polo shirts from stores like ASDA, Pepco Poundland, TU Sainsbury’s and Marks and Spencer, or you can buy second hand, check out my last blog: Going back to school, and bought Henry a string rucksack from Amazon, to store his PE Kit, and PE Shorts. His school rucksack he will be using daily, was Smiggle. Their prices can be quiet high, but was a good investment, because we were using it for his Swimming lessons on Saturday and dries really quickly and easy to carry.
I hope you like these recommendations and find them helpful, and if you’d like to read more of my blogs then you can, by following me and if you have any items you’d recommend of Must haves, then you can, by leaving a comment below.
So just been for a walk with my son, as he was getting restless and it had stopped raining, and walking back he wanted to go back the way we came, but to have a good walk, I wanted to walk around the park and go the back way home.
As he is kicking off, I notice a man watching giving me looks, as he is walking ahead and I am like in my head as I see him whilst I trying to control my son, like “Yes another child kicking off and another mum telling him off, trying to calm him down, so I don’t need you giving me the evils”.
In the end he was fine, and all was okay, but what is it with people like him. He was a kid once, and I get it, some people don’t like kids, or judging because I am yes “I am a mum, with a child who doesn’t want to do as he is told”.
I know I should ignore but I can’t help but say something. I feel that I am speaking for majority of parents here, and that is, “Kids will kick off”.
We can only do our best, but again people forget, kids will express themselves and it wasn’t a really long walk, just enough so my son and I could get some exercise. However In then end it was fine and very quiet, but like that guy, stop judging and giving parents the evils, and never forget you were a kid, and that will be an issue as a parent.
You can’t always please our kids, but parent them so they know that you are only trying to look out for them and not by any means trying to upset them.
Some of you have already gone back to school, but my son is due to go back in two weeks and will be a new one and I am apprehensive, but that is normal, right? His first week is going to strange for all of us, but more so for my son, and it is my job to make sure that he settles in and we are ready for this change.
School can be daunting, so children can get the jitters, like my son did and that is okay, but help prepare them as much as you can and if you can visit the school before they start, this will help them to get to know the environment, like the classroom, the teacher and where they will be having lunch and assembly. Along with discussing any fears you have, to ask their teacher and school staff.
Kids starting school can be daunting for us too, and it was strange to me at first and getting to school was such a mission, but did get better, and so I hope this new school is it, that will really help him progress and say if your child has any learning difficulties, so they can put things in place to help them.
Henry has ADHD and suffered being in school with large amount of kids, so in his new school, he will be in one class, which he wasn’t at his second school he went to, he would be in Year 1 for part of the day, then in a class with other children with learning difficulties and then be in his mainstream classroom, year 4 and so won’t be moving around and will be with smaller size classes.
Then there is uniform. It can be expensive, but there are ways to get pieces cheaper by buying secondhand uniform at schools. The schools that my son has attended would sell secondhand uniform and we donated items to one of Henry’s schools, so they can be worn by another child. We washed them first, and then handed them in and stores such as ASDA and Sainsbury’s do some really good sales on uniform. Along with Pepco at various Poundland stores.
The good thing is we don’t have to buy is any stationary supplies as these items are supplied from the school, but if your school doesn’t then it is worth checking stores, like Wilko’s who are sadly gone into administration. I find Whsmiths expensive and Rymans, but they do some good deals on notebooks. Then items such as pens, I always order from amazon.
If you have any tips on getting ready for school then please to share. You can leave a comment below.
So I really hope your children settle in to the school and everything goes well.
It is so important to keep you and your children happy, because they can feel the strain of life too, and your vulnerability and it is okay to feel, but if life is getting you down and finding life too much, then your kids may feel it too and be unsure as to what to do.
Involve them and just spend some time together on your own, have a chat to explain your feelings, so they can explain theirs. My son won’t always say if he isn’t okay, and say when I ask him “Are you okay?”, he will say “Yes”, and so kids will manage their feelings on their own but there are times when, he will express himself, but it depends on what it is about. He will let me know if he wants to be left alone and will make it clear that he wants space. If he doesn’t want to be photographed he will tell me to leave my phone, so he has my full attention, and I respect that and am teaching the same when I want space, and that we all at some point need space and want then attention.
I wrote in a blog on this site about, being more trustful of my son and letting him do more responsible things, example, when he wants to help tidy up or do the washing up and yesterday wanted to help grandpa. who was fixing one of my sons shoes. There are different stages when it comes to children, when they first born to holding their heads up, then sit up and then walk, as some kids can skip crawling and walk and then run, and they go through making noises to talking and making associations with words and their understanding of life changes and being 45, my points of view are different, to when I was a kid, so they are always evolving and so challenge your children, not in a bad way, but to enhance their development by giving them more responsibility and gaining further independence.
I will hover at times just in case he puts his top the wrong way round, and so to stop this I will do something else to not limit what my son can do for himself, and allow him the space to get his clothes on. When my son goes to the toilet I will let him go on his own indoors and will be letting him go on his own in a cubicles, using public toilets and wait outside, and when we go swimming letting him dry himself off, whilst I get dressed and he will wait for me and unlike he used to run off, will stay and wait and for my own wellbeing, need to stop getting anxious about it.
I think I am still shaken by an incident that happened a few years ago. We visited Putney and I go into Poundland and go to pick up something, my son runs out of the shop, and I try to run after him, but was gone, and thankfully a lady saw that I was distressed and I tell her that my son ran off and so she speaks to a a security guard as there is a big shopping centre, and we go back to the Poundland and he is there, but for that split second I thought he was gone and we were near the River Thames, there are busy roads and many places he could have gone and my heart was in my mouth. I got a feeling I did share this in my blogs on this site, but anyway, it really made me shaken and so probably why I get anxious when we go out, and going to the toilet.
He hasn’t done that since (touch wood, and I do) and so need to get over that, and let him take his time, instead of rushing and when we cross roads I no longer need to hold his hand and will trust him to do it himself. He without being told, when he would use his scooter, know to stop by the edge of he pavement until I caught up with him and will allow him to scooter on and giving him space when in the park and allow him to run around, and have some distance.
There are many Dilemmas when it comes to supporting out kids, and worries, but that is because we care and want the best for our children. Lets work together as parents to help one another. Having a good community can really so lets look after ourselves to look after our kids.
Kids need to figure things out by themselves when it comes to skills, like going down stairs with supervision, if they need a hand, and want go down them on their own, trying not to be anxious . When it came for my son, as he kept trying he found his own way of getting downstairs, and would slide down on his tummy, until he learned to walk down them.
He did have a walker and would whiz around the living room and when it came to walking if we noticed him he would sit down, and I swear that he was walking before we noticed, without us looking and the same with speech, which was limited at first but has improved lots. If he is reading and wants to hold the book I do and have him turn the pages, and if they want some time going through the pages of a book on their own, as long as they are safe, leave them to it. Of course if it is a book that is relevant for their age, and learning ability.
My son can be lazy, and still wants me to help him get dressed on some days, but I will put his clothes together, but will let him get on with it, and when he does it for himself, feels proud of himself, so some kids need prompting, but if they do it, give the praise. If your child demands that they want to do it by themselves then my tip, let them it means they want to be responsible and moving to the next step of their development. Check out a podcast by @melrobbins, who created the Let Them Theory, as you can use this method in many different ways:
When it comes to opening wrappers from sweets, if they pull away because they want to figure it out, then again leave them to it, and if you show them where to put it once they have taken off the wrapper, keep reminding them, because they will do this on their own naturally, and on their own.
If they want to put their own clothes and toys away, give them a place to put it and they will follow and make it into a fun game so it gives even more encouragement, and if they put it in the wrong draw then that is fine. Keep showing them where their stuff goes, then again they will follow, and becomes second nature.
If they want to help with gardening. this can be a really good fun task, and when I planted some flowers, my son loved putting in soil into the plant pot and on the flower beds. He helped my mum plant some carrot seeds and was eager to see if they had grown. It didn’t work well as the seed that were planted , appeared to have been taken by wildlife and birds. However, can be a great activity for kids.
The same with if they want to clean your car, or they want to vacuum or wash up. As long as your near by and it is safe to do so, let them do it and when they want to make their own breakfast, or their lunch, say yes, and studies have shown that if they have helped to make their meals, the more they will eat it, if they are fussy about food. Henry will now fill up his cup on his own with milk, and seeing my son develop gives me such comfort, and makes being a mum, well worth it, and thankful that I am a mum and a parent. It is rewarding and mind blowing too.
The more kids get to figure things out for themselves, the more their mind and body will develop and great for kids welfare.
So this weekend we went to visit some friends who live in the South Coast of England and Henry was playing on a bouncy castle near the seaside and was putting his arm around another child’s, a small child’s, neck. We took him off and apologised to the little child’s parents and it is only right. If someone had done that to Henry I would have expected the same.
When it comes to kids you do need to set rules and boundaries. I don’t want my son to be seen as rude or unkind. I want Henry to be respectful to others for his own good so he is not avoided or isolated.
It is my responsibility to ensure that he says please and thank you and give to others and be loving.
Today my son is at a holiday club and so never avoid social interaction as it can work miracles because it helps them to build good relationships and will learn how to talk and treat others, and is monitored. Has a small child he would pinch or bite, and a saw another child when we went to softplay and out of the blue this young child went to bite him, and push another child over, and her mum told her off and apologise.
Kids will misbehave and lash out, so it has to be stopped and making sure that they stop to help them be better around other children.
When we go swimming I make sure he gives space to small babies and children when he jumps in and if he has a runny nose take him out to clear it and become responsible by making sure he looks after his stuff and not chuck it on the floor and take care of his personal hygiene.
He will if he has finished eating, take his plate or bowl to to the sink and when he is tall enough have him do the washing up sometimes, and he will help put items away once washed. I want Henry to be respectful of his home and equipment and put things out of the way for safety to help his development and understanding, in that he is responsible for his actions and stuff and most of the time he is well behaved and a lady I spoke to when waiting for a bus at the bus stop, who recognised him from being on the bus before, said “He was very well behaved” and that makes me feel good and the rules we have set him and boundaries are working in terms of being respectful to others.
At the moment I have been teaching Henry that he doesn’t always have his way, as he will be fussy and moan, and this can be so frustrating. So it is we don’t go on the trains, as he loves them and watching them, because I explain to him that it takes time to get out of the door some days because he won’t get dressed when I have told him too and that nothing is going to make him happy and spoils the fun.
Everyone gets a choice not just him and if he respects that then we can go out and have fun, not be a constant battle of who should be in charge, and it can effect everyone when a child play’s up because it effects the mood and the environment.
Noone is perfect but the more we tune into our children’s about respect and of boundaries then the more they will be respectful and teach their children if they decide to have children, themselves, to be the same.
I have written this type of blog before When our kids are sick and will continue to do so and the one thing that I think should be free or inexpensive to do is first aid, so good for parents because kids will get sick or have accidents and often will be unsure as to what to do.
My son was unwell this week and so not the start to the summer holidays we wanted and getting an appointment for him to see a doctor was not easy but did get seen and turns out his has swollen glands and she thinks it is tonsillitis and needed a doctor, and speaking the receptionist to get an appointment told us to go to A and E.
You can see why A and E departments are struggling and all it needed was for the GP to check him over and was prescribed penicillin and if we had gone to A and E could have been waiting for ages and being that he has ADHD and was a little scared of the appointment would have caused him such distress so advice don’t let the GP Surgeries fog you off keep calling until you can get an appointment.
The main indicator for us was that Henry (my son) appetite had gone and he loves food and had a fever, along with fatigue and was quite red in the cheeks or pale. So look at the colour of their skin.
He was getting upset saying his stomach was hurting and had a high temperature and used Calpol to help, but his temperature kept fluctuating between 37.1 to 39.5 and it is worrying and so it is important that you get medical help. Being a parent we aren’t all doctors or nurses and we rely on our GP surgeries and you can talk to the pharmacy too. who can help but can only give a certain amount of advice and shouldn’t be made to feel guilty in feeling you are wasting the doctor or nurses time.
If they begin to get a rash and they have purple around the lips seek medical help straight away and if they become dehydrated and not weeing get help straight away too, and the other indicator we had for Henry was not being able to pooh easily and so was constipated. Sorry for TMI but want to keep my blogs real and use it as a source to help, should you be unsure and is a real indicator the your child is unwell and needs help by your GP and if, like I say begin to get worse and still unwell after trying everything you can to help your children get better, go back to your doctor. As the Doctor who helped us said to us, if no better to contact her for further advice and help.
As parents we know our kids and if they start to become withdrawn and have lack of energy then it is us parents who should be the dictator of if their child needs medical help or not and shouldn’t have to have a battle when calling the doctors for an appointment, to seek medical help and support.
So this evening after my son had his wash, he wanted to help with putting things away in the kitchen and felt reluctant, and then the alarm bells went off in my brain and said “No let him” and check out Mel Robbins Podcast about it: https://www.melrobbins.com/podcasts/episode-70
The more my son gets used to helping around the home and encouraged, the more he will stick to wanting to help out. It is going to help him be independent which as a parent is so important because me and his dad, and family won’t be around forever and I want him to be responsible. It is good to have responsibilities because it adds value to things and looking after the roof over his head. Not take things for granted and the more he learns to do daily chores the more he will automatically do it and tonight he helped clear the plates and bowls in the kitchen after they were washed up, without being asked and we, me and my mum, were like what else can be have him do now? Now he is taking an interest in doing everyday tasks.
Kids aren’t slaves nor is anyone, so not getting him to do everything, as he could end up getting fed up with it, but have your children do the simple things. Like making their beds, getting their own bag ready, helping to make their pack lunches for the Summer holidays when going out rather then buying food and carrying their own bags.
It is going to good long term, and kids like to take charge so let them do so, by setting boundaries of what they can and can’t do, and knowing when it is time for us parents to take charge.
Every step of their growth is as important from the beginning of their lives to the very end and of course some children and is hard to even type, die in their childhood and that is hard to comprehend, but I mean the end, meaning when they reach old age and had a full life.
Henry wanted to help with making his dinner and so he put on his apron and a hat I bought him for Easter this year and did little bits like cut his pizza, which we shared and carry the chicken bites, to go with it.
When we go shopping he likes to help carry the basket and look for the food. There were times he could be a monster and cause havoc but now he wants to get involved which is great and makes these times precious, because seeing him develop is out of this world and be more self aware.
So if your kids want to help with the chores then let them.
Today my son’s dad and I went to see his new school that he is going to because they have smaller classes and hopefully helps him to concentrate more and not be easily distracted.
My son has ADHD and on the Autism Spectrum, and it is challenging, but when it comes to my son the one thing we want to do is along with his school, to do more challenging learning, by reading bigger books, because he can do a lot more than what he shows at school and so we want his learning to not be limited and to expand.
With this new school he won’t be given homework, and so will be learning at school, and feels this leaves space for us me and his dad and grandparents to create activities that is educational but fun, example have him do painting to help with grip as his writing is getting good, but not consistent and will help with his grip and he has a wooden dinosaur to paint and if you check out The Works they have wooden objects like houses, to paint and craft.
I want to get him doing chores, like making his bed when prompted but I want him to do this automatically without being asked. He decides when we wake up and I thought being a mum meant to pulling him out of bed, but no it is the other way around, he drags me out of bed.
My son this weekend wanted to take a picture with my phone and I was a big sceptical but feel bad in feeling reluctant to let him so I let him take photos and going to give him a camera as I do have one that I haven’t used I just need to find the cable to transfer photos to my laptop and print off.
I want him to learn more in terms of cooking and doing more baking that he does with my Step dad and when he is tall enough to help wash up and he has shown interest in doing laundry and has asked me if he can put the clothes in it, and so going to teach him and yes it may be a challenge because of separating clothes to wash, but the more I let him do the laundry the more he will learn more on everyday challenging tasks.
Thank you for you who follows this blog site and if you are new then welcome, and if you like my blogs then you can follow me, and so when I publish a blog you will be alerted by email and this blog site is all about parenting and my life a mum, and what I have learned as a parent.
I do write a newsletter each month and so if you’d like to read them check out my blog site Everyone can build a castle, where each month I post it and talks about my content that I post on other blogs and my content on Youtube, as I do have three Youtube channels.
Hello and thank you for taking the time to read my blogs and following me. I have been going over the holidays and need to sit down and plan further so my son and we can spend time with family, visiting places not visited yet that I know he’d like to see, example Guildford, St Albans, ride on the tram, for my son who keeps asking what it is and not ridden on for ages and not since Henry was born. Making sure we have plenty of time together and have booked a weekend trip to see friends who live in the South Coast of England again and fitting in as much as we can to keep our son entertained.
My son loves trains so planning to see where to go that is new but still enjoys it and visit further up London and places we can walk and just explore. Of course like this week there may be disruption, so need to plan around that and may have to travel by bus.
When visiting London get an Oyster card, this allows you travel all over London and can work on the trains, trams and buses. If you are travelling out of London then you can use your debit card, but there are rail cards available that can give you discounts on travelling on the trains.
I did a video on my Youtube my way of living talking about the Summer Holiday’s: https://youtu.be/sxjpUZnd4ik It is good to plan indoor activities aswell as outdoors because of the weather,and there are plenty of things you can do. Example: Henry and I play shops, as kid I loved playing card games and last weekend my step dad taught Henry how to play Solitaire and can teach this game on their tablets/IPads or with actual physical cards on the table. My son was playing Subbuteo, the football game where you have a pitch with little figures, bowls and create tournaments, like me and my friends did at school, playing countdown when we couldn’t play outside.
Room decorating. I watch a lot of organization videos and why not have you and your kids do a makeover in their bedrooms, on a budget and you can get paints from stores like Wilkos or Homebase, so you can change a room around, with your kids and planting indoor plants, if not out in the garden.
Take kids to the garden centre to choose flowers and plants to keep and look after and have them plant them.
Have your kids cook a summer meal with you or for you, with supervision and have a kids party with friends and family. It doesn’t have to be a birthday or anniversary to have a party just enjoy the time off to catch up with friends and make it a special occasion.
I will be taking my son Swimming which I always do now and spend a few days at a kids club called Youngstars, and plan to take my son with family to do something like Chessington World of Adventures which is not far, Bocketts Farm , London Zoo and if the weather is good take a London Cruise riverboat to Canary Wharf and North Greenwich, where there are restaurants and going to see if there any shows on we can go to up London. I have booked to take Henry to see Blippe at the end of the holidays at the Rose in Kingston Upon Thames and they often put plays on and shows at the Polka Theatres.
So lets get ready and there will be deals on picnic and BBQ food and so worth checking out and pack lunch type food too.
I am not going to moan about the weather as I was getting fed up of the cold and so can’t have it both ways and so it all about being sensible, and making sure your kids don’t get too hot, and protected from the heat.
I use factor 50 for kids and should be 35+ and I put it on Henry, my son, before and during the day and that he is not outdoors for too long, but he actually wanted to go indoors by he own accord, when we had the paddling pool out in the garden this weekend, and get into the shade for a bit.
Kids will let you know if they are too hot and so find shade the best you can and that they are hydrated and not left in cars on their own and that you are with them, have the windows open all the time as they can overheat quite quickly or have your air con on, also have them wear light coloured clothing and have a set of sun glasses and hat.
The one thing I like to have is after bite, especially if you are near lakes and woodland areas and if you are going abroad, along with after sun and if they suffer from Hayfever, make sure you have anti-histamine that is safe for kids to take, and that they have a bath and shower to get rid of any pollen and of the sunscreen, and wash their clothes too.
Be aware of ticks, if you see this on your child’s body get medical help straight away and have someone who knows what they are doing to remove it, and if bites start to swell, get medical help right away, and try an avoid your children from scratching or picking at it as because they can become infected, and cause blood poisoning and become infectious quite quickly.
If they have a verruca make sure these are treated as these can spread along with cold sore,s and avoid kissing, and with Nora Virus, which can develop through heat. If they do develop symptoms then keep them away for 48 hours and indoors making sure you sanitize your home and they wash their hands to avoid any of these too be passed on.
This is not to cause anxiety but just tips so you are stress free and have fun, and for it not to be spoiled due to sickness.
Who has a mansion? Not me, but do you need one? No. Just a space where they can play and a place they can eat.
Giving kids bubbles can be a very welcomed item and who does not like bubbles?
So check where you want to host it, to see if a bubble machine can be used or manual ones, that kids can blow to create bubbles of joy.
Check to see what decorations you can use and will they supply tables and chairs and food for the party. My niece had her party at one of the Ninja Warrior Adventure Parks in and the kids loved it. All had a good time.
My son’s last birthday party was a local gym where they can jump and climb, and one of my other nieces, who is now a teenager now, had a BBQ at home with friends and family.
Do they supply a cake or can you bring your own? Is there parking? and where are toilets and just case, fire exits.
Get your kids involved:
Ask what each child would like and plan ahead, as many places get booked up, and plan at the beginning of each year, to save money towards it.
Make sure they don’t go empty handed. If the child has siblings or friends even, to help out. If other parents offer, take them up on it too.
Have the kids make decorations for it, with drawings and setting the tables and the child who birthday is, decide who they want to invite.
Check the weather forecast:
The birthday child, have them write the invitations, and make sure you have suncream on hand and put it on all on before they get dressed and have fans too, and put out some suncream for other parents to use on their kids.
Supply water and ice. If it is an autumn or winter party then have blankets out and have the kids wrapped up, and make hot chocolates, or inside and have a movie night, or sleep over, if it is super cold outside.
Have the paddling pool out if it is good weather and put it in the invites that this will be out, so parents know to bring towels and swim wear.
Be aware of bouncy castles especially if it is super windy and have someone who knows how to put it up safely and it is secured to the ground, and you supervise your kids on them. Make sure kids don’t have sharp objects, their pockets are empty and they take their shoes off, and is enclosed because of the heat, and not too many children ln at once.
Have items out for parents
Like alcohol, teas and coffees, with soft drinks.
Games that the parents can get involved, like tug of war, a dancing contest, fancy dress and gifts for parents and family who have helped organize the party and helped out on the day.
If they have tea or coffee machine in the venue that can be used for parties. Leave out some change for your guests and a open bar where they can help themselves to drinks so you can spend time supervising and chatting with them and their parents.
Expect last minute guests and changes
Have extra items, as there are always those who reply last minute or are late, and so if you are doing party bag, cake and food, have a bit extra for those who turn up or turn up with no reply and feel bad because a child has missed out.
Expect cancellations, and tell the child who birthday it is that they can’t come but, make separate arrangement with them, like doing a playdate later on in the year, and still have a party bag for them so they are still acknowledged and your child gets to spend time with them, for your child’s birthday.
Have a set date of when replies are got to be in and rather than using paper RSVPs, set up a WhatsApp Group, event on Facebook, email or telephone number.
Do a maybe list of guests, to do extra gift bags, or food, but also if they have siblings coming or they ask if they can come, doing extra means you can cater to them too and be excluded.
Then at the end of the day if you get offered from parents and children to help clean up then accept, or you get offered to go to move on to somewhere else, then why not accept this invitation too.
If you have kids who birthday’s coming up then happy birthday, and have a lot of fun.
Thank you to those who have followed me, it really means a lot, honestly it means the world.
I do this a lot and not sure what is right and what is wrong a lot of the time. My son loves the trains and whenever he can’t go on a train he finds it hard to understand why at the weekend, and will keep on saying that he wants to go on a train, but last weekend being so hot and worried that they would be busy put me off, and have limited service on Sunday, in the end we were driven back, and didn’t go on a train.
However yesterday after school we popped out and watched the trains and it rained but being so hot it was a relief and actually was a success and last weekend before when we went to my nieces birthday he was fine, and there was a part where he wanted to find my brother’s and Sister in law’s family cat, but mainly played outdoors and it is when those moment happen you feel like “Oh I got something right”, and my doubts that I had go away.
You can only do your best
And that is true and stand by that. Having a child is a wonderful thing, and I love my son to bits but find hard to figure it out, and I hate letting him down. The one thing I need to work on is not saying for certain of what we will do and have a plan B. Something that was taught to me when doing my football coaching qualification,
always have a back up plan
because of unplanned events like travel disruption, someone becoming unwell or the weather. Today Henry wanted to wait for the fast train that goes by and got upset as it was coming to the time when my husband would be waiting for us and didn’t want to be late because of him finishing work and doing Henry’s dinner.
In the end though as we were leaving the view we had to watch the trains, to meet his dad the fast train went by and so got to see it, and made my son happy and it is good to have that time together, but was getting upset that he may miss it.
We are teaching him that we, his parents and other peoples turn to choose sometimes of what we will do on some days, but still involve him. This still something that he finds hard, but with more interaction with other children and putting things in place to help him with that hopefully he will understand why we all should get to choose and not be what he wants to do all of the time.
So lets work together in building up our kids and if you have any tips then please share them. You can leave a comment below.
Not normally a place I’d be, sitting at my desk on a Saturday starting a new blog. usually I am spending time with my son, because he wants my attention a lot so it can be impossible, but I like to have that time too. Saturday’s is usually day off, but had to write this blog because spending time with my son inspires me to write these blogs. Being a mum it is important that he is happy and has a good wellbeing.
First tips# Look after your own happiness and wellbeing.
You need to spend time working on your own happiness and wellbeing as things in life can get us down, and so spend time going through as a parent of what is getting you down.
I am not saying you have to hide your emotions but use those hard times to push you forward. Believe in yourself and tell yourself “I am worth being happy” and this will help you to help your kids and talk. This is so important because bottling up your emotions can lead you into a downward spiral.
Second tip# Teach your kids about boundaries for themselves and other children
The area that we have been installing in our son is to respect personal space, and about boundaries to help him build good relationships and how to communicate, but he is loving and rarely lashes out, but some kids like adults like to be hugged or kissed. He did as a toddler would pinch and bite as he began nursery and school, but has stopped that. He can get stroppy if is playing a game and loses, but has learned and he just out of the blue that “It isn’t about winning but having fun”. This is still a working process and he does have his own boundaries. Example: When he is eating he likes his own space and for example: When he is eating his dinner likes to get on with it, and be left alone. Most of the time though is very friendly, but if another child doesn’t want a hug then we are teaching him to respect that child but still be friendly but keeping some distance apart.
This means allowing him to interact. Today it was my nieces birthday and he has been fine, the only thing was he kept wanting to see my brothers, sister in-law and nieces cat who is very timid and can scratch.
Yet he did obey and played nicely with the other children and before I would be hanging around him, but got into just allowing him to play and there were other families there and so this helped, but he wasn’t defiant and had a really good day.
Third tip# Involve them in decisions for example what we are going to do each day.
When we plan to go out I will make sure he is involved and have him tell me what he’d like to do and if it is possible we will do it, within reason,. and I say that because when we have gotten the train from London Waterloo he will see a train going to Winchester, and yes we can go there but is a distance and normally later in the day for us to visit. However I have written this place down and to see if we can go there by train in the summer holidays.
Fourth tip# Create some quiet time
Henry when he wakes up is full of energy and he pulls me out of bed to get up. He is an early bird and wants to play with his balloon, watch his tablet and will want breakfast. I however I like a bit of peace so I like to have a peaceful morning whilst he is having his breakfast have my morning cup of tea, and I often think I will watch a bit of youtube but this just makes me sleepy so I will watch a bit of quiet TV and do this as Henry will sit down quietly and eat his breakfast.
Set the tone, as often kids when they see you chilling will do the same. Now this is not all the time, but will take it in when we do as it is great way of building our relationship and I like to take my time and this helps us both in getting ready for the day.
When travelling we will be nice and peaceful, and avoid rushing, but taking it all in.
Then get ready at the same time for bed in the evening.
It is getting enough rest to help kick start our days we spend together. I want my son to be happy and excited about each day and will listen to him when he is unhappy and why. At the moment he will say things if he doesn’t want to do something and then start to play up0 and so having quiet time allows him to calm down and when he has had his bath I have sat with him on the toilet with seat down of course but just chilling and a bath or showers for kids, works wonders.
So I hope this blog helps you and thanks to those whose are following me it means a lot.
This morning it took me a while to start the day on a happy note, I was super grumpy which I think was because of my Menstrual Cycle, and Henry wanted to crack his own egg for breakfast and it went everywhere, but was cleaned up but then he began mucking about and I told him off and did raise my voice which I hate doing, and felt terrible. Kids test us and he did get upset, but I didn’t want egg everywhere and he nearly knocked his scrambled egg with toast off his plate.
I love my son out of this world but I feel often that I am still battling with the unknown, and finding certain situations tough. My son does have real ADHD, and so getting him to sit still can be a task, and eating his breakfast without watching his tablet.
I do give in to make life easier but is that wrong? Should I be a lot harder on him?
We have a lot of fun together and once I came alive everything was good again
Kids test your patience and I know I am not the only mum who almost had egg everywhere, it just cleaning up and I am not a fan of cleaning, but if he had yelled at me like I did to him, I would have told him off for that so not right that I do it and so I need to not get worked up but stay calm.
It takes me a lot to shout but still not an excuse and so I apologised and gave him a hug and a kiss and moved on.
I don’t like to be yelled because it makes me think, “Well I won’t talk to you anymore”, there is never a positive. If he did put his egg everywhere I would have wiped it up and made it again, so it wasn’t really now looking from the outside of this morning , a big deal.
He still ate his breakfast and enjoyed it, he still got dressed, I got his lunch ready for today along with his bag and I did my errands, and packing, as my husband is picking us up to stay in Epsom for a few days as it is my husband’s birthday, and tidied up.
At the moment he moans a lot and is challenging as he didn’t want to go to his holiday club this morning but when he didn’t go he would see the children playing and want to join in and it helps limit his time watching his tablet. Kids need fresh air, and do different activities, and be with other kids and play new and different games and so we go on walks, train journeys and buses, visiting different places local to us and exploring. I do allow him to choose what he’d like to do within reason, but being extra hard to stop the moaning because it can be too much. We play games like matching pairs, that he loved since a baby, snakes and ladders. bowls, tennis, cricket, football and darts, so quite a lot, and hide and seek, but he will tell me where he is, so still learning this one. Yet he will still moan.
I will stop and say “Ok then we won’t play on and his line at the moment, “I will get my own one” and I reply “That is your one so are we going to play or not?”.
I chat with him but not often sure if he is taking it in, but then surprises me. Like when we went out and his crossed the road on his own and safely so he is understanding about these important things, but then will be defiant, but all kids are and kids will put up their guard, and like time and space to understand why he needs to dress himself and go to the toilet without needing assistance, and chop his own food. He will often say “I don’t want to do it myself”, at which I say “Well your not a baby anymore” as he doesn’t like to being called Baba any more and so I will ask “Are you a big boy now?” and he will say yeah and with reductants will do it.
I see Henry’s moaning a phase, like biting his hand which he used to do when he was unhappy or feeling frustrated when he couldn’t properly communicate correctly, or bash his own head and putting his hand down the toilet and wetting, so know that the way my son feels at the moment will change and stop myself from moaning too.
Yes this is the last week before it is half term again and the last bank holiday of May and so it is time to get planning of what to do.
My son will be going to a holiday club for two days, and then it is planning for Thursday and Friday. It is only for a week and it is also my husbands (my sons dad) birthday along with my nieces as they share the same day. So do have things planned.
I will be blogging,.and I hope the weather is good. There are some train strikes planned and so it is looking at doing something local, or that you can get to without the train. If you drive and it is a place that offers parking then could be an option, like swimming. I take my son to Better Gyms as you don’t have to be a member and pay as you go.
You can’t book too far in advance for swimming but nearer the day and it is the Swim For All that I choose, so you don’t need a membership and is the Rainbow Leisure Centre Better Gym in Epsom. They have a soft play there too. The spaces can go quickly for swimming so check the start of the week to book and the same for soft play, as it can get fully booked.
Then there is the weather. Do check the forecast and take coats or umbrellas depending on the temperature outside.
Waterproofs and wellies may be needed depending where you are going, so check along with if they do food. Today Henry went to the Sealife Centre in Brighton. and the school offered a packed lunch, but I opted to make one for him.
Bring drinks and change of clothing. Henry is getting better at going to the toilet as he would leave it to the last minute, but like today bought a spare pair of pants with me just in case and suncream.
Today many of the kids had sun hats and recommended if it is hot, and visiting the Sealife centre today was good. I used to work for Merlin and would make bookings for that attraction, so was good to visit and would recommend. It is situated right by the sea and has a pebble beach. I would like to visit it again, so going to add this to my plans for the School Summer holidays in August.
I love the English coast and as a kid we would go to Clacton, where they had a holiday camp and had some brilliant holidays, and if you can drive then you can still go and avoid the train, and you can always get a coach. This is how we would go to Clacton, and it a long way, but I wasn’t very good on coaches as a kid as I got travel sickness.
Do what works for your family and if you are going to an Attraction such as Chessington World of Adventures, there are buses that go there from Kingston and from my memory booking tickets for Alton Towers, they too has buses that went there, but ask before you go. and you can drive there as there are parking, but you do have to pay for this on some attractions.
Many places like Wimbledon Park will have a funfair during school holidays in the UK, which is free to enter, but to go on the rides you have to buy tokens. They often do food too and toilets.
I hope this gives you some ideas and tips, and I really hope you have a good rest of this school week and then it is the last term for the school year. UK from September to July.
Well this blog I came up with because being a parent I often wonder how much my son takes in and I watch my actions because Kids can copy and so I stop myself from swearing, being cross and my fear.
Photo at Gravity in Wandsworth
Yet my son amazes me all the time watching him grow from a baby to a child, from being a child to one day being a man. I was going to write on my other blog about fashion (https://carriesversatilefashion.com) but I had to write this blog first, because I often wonder because my son has ADHD and Autism, what he actually learning and yesterday we were off to his Swimming lesson and that he will have a different teacher, his usual teacher couldn’t do the lesson, and for him to listen because like me unfortunately can switch off, and he not being prompted said “Its not always about winning but having fun” and my mum and I were like, “Where did that come from?”. We weren’t saying him to win and wish I could remember the full conversati8on, but just amazed, and made us see that he is taking in a lot more than he allows us to see and at the beginning of the lesson he started do the breast stroke on his own and again didn’t realise he can do that. He did have a term during this year of swimming lessons, but because they have to let other kids have lessons he couldn’t continue the lessons on. He also missed a few classes, due to him being unwell and last week it was my nieces birthday party, so was a few weeks since he last had lessons. At the Ninja Warrior Adventure park, and I did write about this in my last blog, and he beat the wall and climbed and done it four times, when he was very worried about climbing frames. Not sure why, we are still working on that, but seeing him do this is rewarding and with the help from others, something has clicked in.
He can now cross the road on his own when at one time he would run off and once when were looking in a charity shop, he ran out towards the road and it was hard to take him out, because of that.
This is not to say I am wonder mum, and I have it all sussed out because trust me I don’t and has been the help and support of family, Including his dad, other mums/friends, but often I would do it solo and question my parenting skills. I have struggled, there are mums who may have had a different experience, but to help other parents it is important to be honest and I still make mistakes like yesterday I had my jeans on back to front. I took him swimming a few weeks ago and forgot to bring his towel, but thankfully they had paper towels, so I used them. We are human, but he still got dry and has made me make extra effort to remember his towel.
He will correct me when talking and he took a really photo with my phone. I know this isn’t climbing a mountain, but its the little bits for me that is rewarding to me as a parent.
My Niece did a long walk for her DV at her school, my other niece wrote a poem that was published and my youngest niece did a performance as she does Drama Classes, and has sung to me of songs she has created and seeing them bloom like this makes me see that children can do amazing things and I do doubt my son at times. I feel the guilt as I write that, and is an area I need to stop. My son can talk for himself and he can make decisions of his own, and so with the things I have seen from him and other kids I know, makes me see that kids should never be underestimated and I need to get out of the habit of doing so.
I am learning, and I remember a mum I worked with when I did finance, I worked within the finance of an Advertising Company, called Grey Advertising and she fell down the stairs and really hurt herself and it was her daughter who had phoned for an ambulance and she wasn’t an older child but of a young age and it makes my take a step back.
Kids know more than what they let on and can be responsible and can someone in a dangerous situation. I wish they would have an Amazing child week and celebrate the amazing things that kids do. My son if he sees another child cry often want to go over to them to see if they are okay, but can stick up for himself too. So lets celebrate our kids successes and praise ourselves as parents too, as we don’t give ourselves enough credit.
Oh yes it is a tricky business. Now this is not to gloat as why would I do that? Henry when he was a baby would sleep well and we never had that many issues, and would sleep through the night, but he began to wake up super early, and I hoped this would change, but no.
When he would get sick he would often just want to sleep, and so he is pretty good but would need more comforting as when he would nap in the afternoon would wake up super grumpy and so would read to him which he found soothing or a song he liked at the time, Only You by The Flying Picketts and he would then be okay.
He would get overtired and so would begin to start fussing and chucking things, and when he was a lot younger would around 6pm be unsettled and want to be held, and so we created a ritual, so dimmed the lights, put the heating on, bath him and play lullaby music and blow bubbles but made it nice and peaceful, making sure he was well fed and was recommended this book, talking to a mum on the bus and worked like a treat.
We didn’t put him too early or too late, and weaning helped also, because we were able to cut down on milk and was a relief not doing a late feed, because he would be wide a week, so was good to just let him sleep.
Now he is 9 he will stay up a bit later, he goes to bed between 8:30 to 9:30, and so often I have to scrape him off from the sofa as he likes cuddles with me before bedtime , and he will go to the toilet, brush his teeth and then I will read a book and goes out like a light.
When they have so much energy kids they, which I didn’t know can have a energy spurt before bedtime and when you think they are tired they jump up and want to play with their balloon, play tennis or cricket, and I am like “No not now” so what I do to prevent this is make sure he has uses up all his energy by being super active and productive during the day and it is simply having a kick about as this helps me too to stay active or rugby, go for walks in the morning, do a bit of learning and do some activities in the day, like painting, gardening with my mum, last weekend we took him to the Ninja Warrior Adventure park in Guildford as it was my nieces birthday and Sunday we went to a local festive called Pub in the Park and so good, and I have filmed it so a weekend in a life coming soon on my Youtube channel: https://www.youtube.com/@typicallondongal
We have cut down on Screen time as this can have an affect and today I listened to a good podcast, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HVGlEU_ueAw she talks about cutting down on screen time and it has made a difference because he would rely on it and he can sleep for a good 6 to 9 hours all through the night now so yes worth trying.
Blackout curtains can help along with double glazing windows, and a bright light if they can’t sleep in darkness, a cuddly toy to give comfort and fresh bedding.
Then there is bed wetting. This has been a challenge and we have had some recent bedwetting issues, and as they grow it can continue to be a hurdle when it comes to bedtime. I do limit how much my son drinks in the evenings as he still has the odd accident, but is getting better.
I never knew that toilet training could take so long and he went on his first residential trip last month, but couldn’t stay over because of using toilet and because of him finding his way back to the pods they were staying in. He is soon to be going to his third school because his first one couldn’t meet with his learning difficulties and so was given a place at the school he is now, but they think that he needs to be in an even more of a specialised school and I am nervous about it. With toilet issue it is important that he has easy access to these facilities and can easily go without fuss. We do pack spare pants just in case but like I say things have begun to improve and he will not wait until the last minute which is what he was initially doing.
I do hope it doesn’t affect his development, and he does dream, and this has been a challenging in terms of bedtime as he will wake up startled some nights, and he talks in his sleep and make sure that he has enough air and is properly tucked in. I avoid snacks in the evening and make sure he has a good fulfilling dinner and he will have a bath or shower, with the occasional wash and this does help him settle and he will in part of the evening sit with us and have quiet time.
So I hope this helps you, thank you for liking my blogs on this site and for subscribing, it really means a lot and if you have topics regarding parenting that you’d like me to talk about then please leave a comment below.
There is nothing better than spending time with family and with working, school and chores you don’t always get that time. The place to start is meals, choose a day to have a meal together and plan in advance and do like a buffet style or a sit down meal, with drinks non alcoholic drinks for kids of course and drinks for the adults and the one thing I am looking forward to in the summer is having a BBQ and sitting in the sun, have a good chat and catching up if your kids no longer live at home with you or they are grown up an living in their own place.
Take a day trip to the seaside. I have an aunty and uncle who live in Selsey and so when we can we will go down there to visit and I love being by the sea, it makes me feel peaceful and calm. Of course it means driving or catching a train, if you don’t want to go abroad but can get discount travel cards , and when I lived in the South coast I had one and it saved me a lot of money when I would travel from London to a place called Bognor Regis and back, then me and my son’s dad had a one as a couple, because when Henry was a baby he could travel for free, and we’d travel to Southampton and Lincoln, so it made sense to have a travel discount card.
If you are a Eurovision fan then why not make it into a last minute party if you haven’t planned already and do cheese on toast with some mugs of tea and get the blankets out depending on how big your sofa is and camp out. Why not make it fun by having a pen and paper of how many points you’d give for each country and where union jack hats and flags or if you from another country do the same but of the country colours and flags. I remember when they used to show Miss World and I was staying at a friends house and we had paper and pen to mark who we thought should win, and would do this with my grandparents when they were alive when watching a TV show called Countdown.
Workout together to get fit. When we had the pandemic the Body Coach Joe Wicks did PE lessons getting kids to exercise and today I did a indoor walking workout on Youtube and was really good fun and my son would often join in with me and my son and I will spend time when he comes home from school play football or dance as often I will have the radio on or music playing from Youtube.
Spend time visiting a national park and gardens. We have often done this and there are many national parks in England like Kew Gardens and you do have to pay but they often have events going on there in the summer and great places to celebrate birthdays or any occasion and I am looking forward to having a picnic and spending time around nature. It is such good fun and somewhere different to go.
Visiting a Zoo is good fun and there are places like Chessington World of Adventures, but there are other type of Zoos like London Zoo and Battersea Park zoo and if it is not busy you can just turn up but it is less expensive if you book in advance and check out newspapers and cereals as often they will do deals.
I hope this gives you ideas as another half term is coming up and then it is the Summer Holidays so worth thinking about these ideas and have some good family fun.
Becoming a parent is a culture shock but a miracle at the same time and I have learned the power of the body and what it can do, which is producing another human being. We as women and men should celebrate that.
I think we don’t give ourselves enough credit as parents and still think “Am I doing the right thing?” and my son is breathing and loves playing different sports and is full of beans, so we, Henry’s dad, my mum and step dad, along with other friends and family who have helped, haven’t done a bad job.
It is good to have others, like other parents support hence why I started this blog.
Sometimes you have to improvise, like Henry wanted to have a score board for when he plays football, and watches a lot of sky sports at the moment and used word to create one, but in doing that I learned to let him find things on his own, within reason, because he found a live scoreboard, and have no idea of how he found one, but kids, and this another thing I have learned, will use their initiative and build their knowledge and understanding. I do monitor on what he watches on his table, as there are videos that attract kids but aren’t child friendly, like eating challenges and sports.
They will copy so you do have to be vigilant, and letting go, as when they get older they will start to move away which is hard to think about, but for them to be independent you do have to allow more freedom and unwrap the cotton wool, that we often can put around them.
My son is now ten years old and thinking about his development, being that he has development delay and ADHD, it is challenging, but working with him instead of for him and on his own, depending on what it is, is a better strategy because it helps him to work with others, and when it is right for him to do things for himself.
It can take time in knowing about how to communicate to your child as it is unique to each child, because some children can have fear in talking, and not share what they understand.
You can’t see into their minds only what you observe and what they tell you at times. With my son he still won’t tell me what he did at school, and has to be prompted. I was the same, I just wanted to forget school because I struggled with it and I am not a qualified teacher, so have had to learn on my own what works and doesn’t.
I have learned that when it comes to shopping to have him push the trolley with me, otherwise he will put up a fuss in the middle of the supermarket and I am glad that he wants to be responsible, and stop him picking up bits we don’t need, as it could be very expensive shop, and doesn’t like it when I check out the clothes. Is he being a typical boy?
He is in bed being the morning and his sleeping habits have changed, he will sleep in more now and kids change a lot, as they grow and is hard to keep up.
So, I hope you like this blog and thank you to those who have subscribed to this blog site and please check out my Pinterest where you can follow me too, and have lots of my content and I do post on Instagram, Facebook and twitter too:
So Easter is this weekend, and still got to buy easter eggs, but will be doing this, this week and already have made some bookings for my son and where we are going go through the holidays, and so the cheat sheet I do for this week is dedicated to planning for School Seasonal holidays like Easter.
Some places like better gyms where I take my son Swimming can’t be booked in too far in advance but booked for my son to go to a holiday club and there are many in the UK.
Often schools have organization’s who run holiday clubs through the holidays, and if your schools around you does then book A.S.A.P as they can fully booked and great if you still have to work through the holidays and your kids get to still have fun and in a safe environment so you can drop then off and then pick them up. Many do half days or full day, so is worth having a check but can be expensive.
Yes tomorrow is the first day of spring and the days are getting lighter and looking forward to it. So means that kids can play out longer and put the laundry out in the garden and then also Easter is on its way, and I did a video on my Youtube channel My Way of living talking about Planning and Budgeting for the Easter Holiday, and means organizing an Easter hunt, and I am writing my Newsletter for March and sharing the things I like to do over Easter. This will be up on my blog site: Everyone can build a castle | Creating goals, habits and being empowered aiming for success
It means getting the BBQ out. Okay perhaps I am getting carried away, we no longer have one, but it good to be able to go outdoors and not with layers of clothing but in thinner jackets and have your kids to help organize and do a spring clean.
I look forward to having the windows open and read a book in the park and have your children’s birthdays in Spring outdoors in the park. There is a local gardens where I live when it starts to get warmer and lighter outdoors, have birthday parties.
Having playdates visiting local historical places, like one of my friends I met up with a weekend ago, visited Arundel and Winchester, which is in West Sussex and Hampshire and we have before now gone to Poole in Dorset and Bournemouth and such lovely places to visit and great for kids to run around and just being near the water can do wonders for you and your children.
There are bank holiday weekends coming and great way to get out, and often in some of the parks, like Wimbledon Park will have a funfair, and the theme parks will start to open.
These can expensive but often there will be offers in the Sun Newspaper and Cereal boxes advertising discount on theme park tickets, and great days out.
So lets put our puffer jackets away and looking forward to wearing my denim jackets and going to give my wardrobe and my sons a revamp and get some new items, and plan some good days out.
The parenting adventures 