Helping children to concentrate

So not sure if you have read my other blogs but my son has ADHD and so he finds it hard to concentrate on one thing for very long. He has gotten better, but he gets so easily distracted, so here are some tips I have learned that you may find useful too.

Photo by Mikhail Nilov on Pexels.com

Learning at home: If you do home schooling then set the scene so there is no easy distraction. I make sure the TV is off, the lighting is okay and then once they finish learning, like reading or writing, then they can play.

Travelling: Henry was pretty good when it came to travelling, only a few times have I have had problems but if they are restless then bring a toy with you, download some apps if they have a tablet or a book, just something that will help you and them enjoy the journey as you can wish you had stayed at home.

Eating: With learning set the scene. When Henry was a baby I would put on the tennis or Countdown. As my son got older we would have our son eat before we had our dinner, but in my experience if you are eating too with no distraction, then the chances are they will stay at the table or have them do an activity like drawing, especially if you are eating out.

Playing games: Just a few moments ago we were playing cricket for a bit, and this morning we played basket ball and table tennis in a local park, but soon after my son wanted to carry on scootering through the park to go to the supermarket, but with my mums help set a challenge to hit the ball across the table tennis table 5 times, and so setting challenges, can really help them want to continue. When my son finds something difficult he will tend to shy away from it, so keep it simple at first and try not to make it too competitive as learning the skill and getting the right technique, is more important and can increase the challenge, once they have got the basic understanding of doing the activity.

At first my son wasn’t interested in his scooter and he will lose interest for a bit, but then will shortly want to play it again, and give praise each time they have done some learning, been good travelling, eating nicely and playing activities and then they will think wow okay let me do that again, rather then be put off.

Please check out my books The Parenting Adventures pregnancy to the first 9 months and The Parenting Adventures Baby to Toddler years. They are available on Amazon under my name Carrie Challoner.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

Truth about parenting video talking about/Having a child with ADHD

Hello and welcome! So I have been doing a series of videos on Youtube called Truth About Parenting and this weeks was about Having a child with ADHD and this was inspired by a video I watched of someone talking about their son with disability.

Thank you for liking my blogs on this site and following me it really means the world.

Check out my new Truth About Parenting video below:

It can have its challenges but its good side to as Henry will decide when to finish a game to play a new one and he is structured in the fact cause he knows without being told tidying things away. He can be definate if you get on his case so I don’t say it and often when I don’t he will tidy away when allowed to make that decision be his choice.

Henry can be very effecitonate, but sometimes would invade personal space, so I have had to tell him to “Give personal space” but not to the point of telling him off as such but to say if a child or adult says to him “Don’t” I will move him away and say “Too much not so close please just say hello and talk but not so close”.

He will often look at me with confusion as we hug all the time, which I would not give up for the world, and I see it, its that look to say “Well we cuddle why is it different?” and that is hard one to answer so I will say “will hug but lets have some space too and if it is me and you okay but other adults and children find it uncomfortable”.

Its being suttle but not restricting them. It is good for them to be sociable and caring so I never want to take that away, but still imply other peoples wants and learning about boundaries.

Kids with ADHD can be overly energized and I am like “It’s 4am in the morning how come he isn’t got his eyes on the floor” as I get out of bed and tread on a kids toy to the bathroom. Yet, I like having that time too, and he will watch his tablet, okay I hear the judging, but you do what you have to do, as us parents we can feel extra tired sometimes when they buzzing around the house causing havoc at 5am.

So its managing their ADHD in a way that it doesn’t excuse their behaviour when they get over stimulated with a lot of energy but keeping it down so we can spend ten minutes of reading for example, watching TV or playing magnetic darts, and keeping then from being bored as that is a trait of ADHD when they are bored they will become disruptive.

Many thanks for reading and watching my Youtube video, and there will be more to come

Carrie X

The Music that makes my day and helps build me up each day as a parent

Hello and welcome to another blog post. As I write this blog as I am listening to some good music and it what I do most of my days is listen to my music and its always tunes that makes my day and builds me up, giving me some passionate energy to be creative and ideas for blog content aswell as writing book and creating youtube videos: my books are all on Amazon.com under these names: Carrie Challoner, Carrie Lee Holmes or Carrie Holmes.

Link for my Youtube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCUDFIqjVKLy7NhtcR6Hy0Tg

I am writing another parenting book which is going to be like a Training book/Self help for parents and Life coaching.

It is good for kids to play music it can really help with speech and language and my son pronounciation is mature beyond his years and is why I played music since Henry was a baby, as it has always been a part of my life and it want it to be part of his life too.

Music can be soothing and I remember reading parenting books saying music should not be played to help him sleep but as a parent that is not the case. If it soothes and helps him with talking and listening so be it. You do what you have to do and is something that will benefit him no end.

Loud heavy metal would not help but songs that can help wake them up in the morning, can help with you kids getting ready to get dressed for school and music to help him listen to, to help him have a goods night sleep.

Youtube has a lot of lullaby music which Henry loved and it would be a godsend when reading a book was done and helped keep him calm and quiet to comfort him to sleep. Kids at night need soft and light music and turned down, you can get a night light to help too. Henry had a dimmer switch to the light in his room, which we used and when I did this he would be go to sleep without a fuss and then loved it when I would put some lively music in the morning and twirl until it was time to him go to school.

When it comes to kids and music you often have to listen to the nursery rhymes ten times over, not exagerating it is true, and you end up knowing all the words and when I used to do this and stop singing he would tell me off for stopping. So could I win the X-Factor when it comes to being a parent? or should I be shamed?

Absolutely not. If kids like it play it and as long it isn’t scary or too loud music can be wonderful asset to keep the peace and away from tantrums and tears.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

Parenting on the go and how to get through the end of term/Breaking up for the summer holidays

So around this time is when the schools get ready to shut down for the Summer Holidays, even though some schools hire out the school for kids to join the summer clubs that operate on them, and they can be good so why not apply for your child to go.

Henry my son did and last year when I booked for him to join a club outside of school he really enjoyed it.

Kids feel it by the time it gets to this part of the school year, and can be a little grumpy when they know they have a few weeks left. So would you being the parent, as we go into Autopilot and try to plan for them but when I did this I then didn’t do all those things,

They need to rest and this is the perfect time, during the summer holidays to do that, so why not arrange a playdate to enjoy the summer weather and your kids can play happily in your garden of course if you have a flat not possible but can have a playdate in a local part somewhere.

Do you need to stick to a routine still?

Yes but you can let them sleep in as they can find the end of the a school year tiring, the same being a parent, and also have some days where they can have Pancakes for breakfast, making different food for the holidays different from when they eat when they come home from school.

Take them to have a breakfast in the garden when it is not too hot and then have a afternoon picnic in a local park. Do different things from the norm and why not go on a bike ride or for a walk with everyone.

Then eat out or pick up sandwiches and snacks to have outdoors.

Just make it excitable for them for the summer and then slowly wean then back into the school routine for when it returns.

Many thanks,

Carrie X

5 Ways to Keep kids safe in the summer

The last thing you need when on holiday kids becoming unwell and when having a Holiday in Menorca as a kid I got Sunstroke and lost may days of that holiday feeling so unwell.

With hotter climates you do have to make sure you children a safe from the sun, and not exposed to the heat and sun too much.

1. Make sure they wear a hat, too keep the sun away from their head
2. Use factor 30+ on their skin
3. Not playing out too long in the heat, try to keep them in the shade for sometime
4. Make sure they are wearing light colours or bright colours, so they state cool
5. Take a bottle of water with you when going out for the day and keep it cool

It is important to be outside for some Vitamin D, bt that the same time be vigilant about the hot weather and making sure they stay safe.

So I hope you find this blog informative and Many thanks for reading,

Carrie L.M X

Bringing Your Baby Home For the first time

Bringing your baby home for the first time can be a daunting prospect, but it can also be a relief. The first thing I would say is:

1. Don’t worry about getting into a Routine yet, get to know your baby still, even if they have been in hospital like my son, Henry was Premature and was in there for a month.

The day I bought him home was the 8th of December 2013, and it did take a while to adjust. We did try to follow the schedule that the hospital had done, but that didn’t continue as when they are home it is completely different, and so that plan went straight out of the window.

As there is still COVID and because babies immune systems are still not fully formed as of yet,

2. Make sure anybody holding your child has washed their hands, don’t have a cold and do tell them to stay away if they do. Not meaning you have to be rude, but just pre-warn them.

If they end up going back to hospital they won’t go back into the delivery ward or Special care unit but a ward with all different age children, which can lead to more illnesses and infections.

When your baby is born,

3. Don’t go buying loads and loads of stuff first off, because if you know of friends or relatives that have had kids, or this is your second child, never be afraid to use hand-me-downs. I felt so blessed that I had family who did this, and saved us a lot of money and hassle.

Plus if you have a huge stack of friends and family they will be buying items for your new baby, so don’t go overboard, because babies once born grow very quickly.

4. Make sure that you have a crib or a Moses basket first, for them to sleep in, as they will be too tiny for a cot yet, and you can get basketnets too, that are suitable for new born babies.

If you know someone who has one of these that they are offering to you, to have,

5. make sure you check it out first to make sure it is in good condition, before saying yes.

The Moses basket we had was given to us from family and they also gave us their cot, for when Henry was bigger, and so the one item we did buy was a Crib, from Mothercare.

6. When you are in hospital ask the nurses at the hospital as many questions as you can, if you are worried about something when taking them home. The nurses and midwifes are there to help, so ask away.

To help you not forget write the questions you have down, so you have them to hand, because when you have given birth you end up with “Baby Brain” for a bit. Be ready to ask and get them to show you, how to swaddle a baby, how to breastfeed, because like me I thought it would be easy, but in reality wasn’t. Please check out my blog post:

My Experience with Breastfeeding

7. You don’t need to give a new born baby a bath as soon as they are born as their skin is still very delicate, so do it about two to three weeks later, unless they have a pooh explosion, which you do have to get ready for.

The first nappy changes you do, make sure you use cotton wool balls and warm water to clean them and do it before they eat, as from experience if done after can cause them to be sick.

When a child is first born they will usually do a pooh soon after, as they have been eating from the food you have eaten. This is what helps them to grow inside your tummy. When they start to breastfeed or go straight onto Formula milk,

8. feed from you or from a bottle write down how much if from a bottle or how long they fed for, to make sure they are taking in enough.

If your baby loses weight when they are first born, don’t worry, because this is normal.

Should they continue to lose weight then it is time to be concerned, but health visitors and nurses at the hospital are there to help you and give you support.

9. Don’t worry about others wanting to help you when you first bring home your baby, as after your child is born and you have them home, you need some help too, so take them up on it.

It does not mean that you are a bad mum for wanting some well earned rest yourself and if you say no a lot to those who want to lend a hand, will begin to stop asking.

When you first bring you child home, relax and enjoy your buddle of joy and be weary of those who will start to say, “When’s the next one going to be due”.

I have put together a Cheat Sheet for you, if you would like to print this off.

bringing-a-new-born-baby-home-cheat-sheetDownload

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

P.S: Just a quick note, I am raising money for the Charity Tommy’s who help to support those families that have experienced Stillbirths and Premature births and so if you would like to donate the link is here below:

https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/theparentingadventuresprematurebirths

How to deal with a total meltdown to and from school

So it has only been 3 days since the return of school and we have already had tears and total meltdown, whilst getting there and coming home. Of course the easiest way to deal with it is to pretend they aren’t yours and they have just followed you, and now you can’t take them back.

Or to also pull a tantrum so they have a taste of their own medicine, but when it is in the middle of a train station, the chances are you will be escorted out, along with your child.

Luckily when this happened on literally my sons first day, so literally Wednesday just gone, some lovely man working in the station lended me hand getting my son through the gates as he was refusing to do so and wanted to continue to ride on the train.

HONESTLY HOW MANY BUSES AND TRAINS CAN YOU GO ON WHEN WHERE THEY ARE AT LAST HAPPY AND NOT BE A TOTAL NIGHTMARE.

I don’t want to be seen moaning a lot about parenting, but keeping it real by showing that however much I bribe, console and do what it says in parenting books, that being a parent of a now very stroppy 6 year old, it isn’t always a bed of roses.

Once we get to school he is fine and during school so far, but when getting him to and from school, that’s when he can play up, and I am the parent with the screaming child doing all he can to let the world know that he isn’t happy and not having none of it.

HOW TO DEAL WITH A TOTAL TO AND FROM SCHOOL ?

The one thing I have learned is to stay calm and keep my composure, as much as possible, I know this isn’t always easy, and you wish you could click your fingers or have a remote control that could defuse a meltdown, it just I feel when I get worked up adds to the fuel in the meltdown, and making it clear that their behaviour isn’t good without shouting, but being firm and also talking rather than shouting or screaming works betters.

IF ONLY WE COULD TAKE A PILLOW WITH US TO SCREAM INTO, WOULD COME IN HANDY !

Nevertheless all is okay, my son is now in bed and soon it will be another day and the weekend again, where his dad will take over.

I do love my son, alot and do enjoy motherhood, but there are times that I don’t and I think it is okay to say that, because children are like puzzles you are always trying to solve only to be broken again and I will admit there are times that I still don’t always have clue, but you just have to remember that meltdowns and tantrums don’t last forever and you can have your own tantrum once they are in bed and treat yourself to a nice evening of a cup of tea or something stronger and all is right with the world again.

So if you are like me got some peace now is the time for us parents to wind down to and to get ready to sleep ourselves.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

When kids are driving you mad

New changes to when I will be posting blogs on this  site. Instead of posting on a Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday. I will be now posting on a Monday, Wednesday, Thursday and Saturday.

Parenting Dilemmas and how to deal with them.

 

Hello and welcome. if you didn’t read my previous post called When kids run off and children go missing, then you wouldn’t have seen the free printable that I had created about Parenting Dilemmas and how to deal with them, as there are very many and so please check out my printable here for this information.

PARENTING DILEMMAS AND HOW TO DEAL WITH THEM

When it comes to parenting it can lead you scratching your head, not meaning you have nits, but because of being baffled like I have been as to what to do, so thought I would share some of my own tips that I have learned since becoming a parent myself and how to deal with them.

Should you have any questions about parenting then please ask in the comments section below and I will be happy to answer them.

I set up this blog up because I wanted to help fellow parents because with kids there are no real instructions, so I knew I wanted to share my own experience to help others as there are many things that you are never told that I like to share in my posts.

I hope you do find my free printable helpful and if you have any feedback of topics you’d like me to cover about being a parent then do ask.

Many thanks for reading,

 

Carrie X

When kids run off and children go missing

 

Yesterday I had the fright of my life. I was in Poundland in Putney, London when all of a sudden I let go of my son’s had for literally a second and he sprints out of the shop door.

I then put back the item I was taking off the shelf and run after him, but couldn’t see him or what direction he took. My heart was in my mouth as Putney is a big town and lots of people, so he could have gone anywhere.

Luckily this lovely lady came and saw that I was somewhat distressed and knew that I was looking for a child, and said to me”Don’t worry we will find him” and she grabbed a security officer who was about to radio to another security guy to look for him.

We went back to Poundland and luckily he had returned, but I was at this point out of my whitsend, and boy did I tell him off, not screaming at him but to the point he was shaking from head to foot as I honestly thought for a minute I had completely lost him and did not know what to do.

I thought that he was well passed that stage of childhood, off running off and was going to write about on my other parenting blog how he is much more able to walk with me without needing to hold my hand and stay by my side, but after yesterday’s events, it made me see that when it comes to kids there is no knowing what they will do sometimes, and you do have to stay on your toes at all times.

As said Putney is quite a busy town with a very large busy road, and near the river too, so who knows what could have happened if I hadn’t been helped.

I am so grateful for other mums and parents because at the time you think you are the only one who this has happened to but it isn’t, and the lady that initially helped me knew exactly what to do, and tried to keep me calm whilst we looked for him.

I remember once when I was a kid I without telling my parents went to play inside someone elses home and so when my mum came to find me she couldn’t and then suddenly there was a search party looking for me, and then when she found out, of course I got a bollocking.

Of course at the time I was unaware of what distress I caused, until now I am a parent myself and when a child does go missing it is a parents worst nightmare; and I have had dreams where Henry has gone missing and couldn’t find him, so after yesterday I am going to make sure that he holds my hand at all times or stays close to me, if not we don’t go out.

I do feel at times you do have to be tough with children so they understand that if they run off it is dangerous and makes us all sad and unhappy, and there was another lady who saw me burst into tears afterwards, who told my son that he mustn’t do that because he had scared me so much.

I now get why my parents were so vigilant in knowing when and where we were going, because a child can go missing within a second and if there are lots of people around who knows where they could be.

Anyway, thankfully as said my son did return to where he ran from, but it did shake my up today and so we stayed local and in a park I know he won’t run out from.

If you are in a park please do the courtesy thing and put the lock on the gates just in case, as I have seen an even smaller child some weeks back who ran out of the gate, when his mum had been busy pushing another child on the swing.

Remember that parks are public areas and we should all do the common sense thing and that is,

• To watch our kids all the time
• Make sure they don’t walk in front of a moving swing
• Stand to close to a merrygoround as I seen kids get hit by one of these in my Estate where I used to live in Hammersmith
• You make sure that there isn’t another child at the bottom of a slide before your child slides down it
• Keep gates closed and shut at all times.
• That children don’t get too close to each other now because of COVID 19 and they wash and sanitize their hands before and after using the equipment and using the gates in the park

The more we try to keep ourselves and our children safe the more we can focus on them having a good time and some fun, without going missing or getting hurt.

I have created a new printable about Parenting Dilemmas and how to deal with them:

PARENTING DILEMMAS AND HOW TO DEAL WITH THEM

Many thanks for reading,

 

Carrie X