Looking forward to the year ahead

As we get to the end of another 6 weeks of summer holidays, next week it is all systems go again, and so looking forward to the year ahead, has many dilemmas in front of it, like looking for a new school for Henry to go to next year, and getting him somewhat prepared for the new set of learning tools he has to do for this year.

I do think that going on the amount of homework that my son had to do last year, it is only going to mount up, so on Monday and Tuesday, will consist on doing some last minute homework, that he can have completed ready for when he begins school again on Wednesday of next week.

I think as soon as you know that you have a week to go, it is time to set a plan and have everything ready in time, so there is no last minute dashes and be panic free.

My lists have been written and now it is just about getting everything together. The one thing I am looking forward to, is having my time between the school drop off and pick up again, so I can do my work without interruption, instead of having to fit it in during the evening, which I have had to do a lot during the school holidays.

I think Henry is looking forward to going back as from when the school holidays began, he has kept asking to go back to school, and so I think he will go in no problems, I just hope he can catch up on his learning and not be so behind like he was last year.

I do feel somewhat under pressure because with Lockdown we haven’t had time to look at other schools, but now will have that time again, it is applying for a new school come next year in time, and see the schools that are for specialist kids with ADHD and development delay. So less kids per class, but then it is getting Henry used to going their instead, it may be huge transition again for him, as he will need to form new friendships and get to know the teachers again.

When a child has ADHD I find doing short spells of sit down learning to be more beneficial than long hours of learning and setting it out, so he knows this is what we are doing now, and if they do that then you can choose what to do next, to be the best approach.

Also when out and about like we have done, going through the different numbers of houses, and seeing what bus numbers we can see, spotting different coloured cars, has been really effective in his learning, every bit does count, and make it fun rather than being too strict.

The other thing you can try is extend the hours of how long they can sit down for each time, to help with their concentration, gradually and let them have a choice as said above, as this helps with their communication and make choices, and in turn you get to know what their main interests are and how you can import other areas into their learning that they struggle with, but can learn in a different way so they become interested.

Just do what you can and do communicate with your childs teacher to let them know where your child is at, with their learning, so they can be on the same page as you to help with your childs learning.

So I am going to end this blog here and will be adding more as we get nearer to the new school year.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

The things you need to think about when your child is starting school

KIDS PIT STOP.cdr

Hello and welcome to another parenting blog. On Monday I wrote a blog on my related parenting blog site, about my son going up to year 2 at school. So if you would like to read this, then please follow this link:

https://theparentingadventuresthebirthofmyson.wordpress.com/2020/08/24/henry-going-into-year-2-at-school/

In this blog I have put together things to think about when your child is starting school:

1. Are they fully toilet trained. It can be a long process, but once you are there, then it is another milestone to tick off on your list. Henry in his first and second year, had a few accidents where is he missed the bowl or had an accident because he didn’t say he needed the toilet. So we got into the process of him doing so, and I packed some spare bits and pieces, like pants, trousers etc just in case. The one thing I have started doing is teaching my son Henry how to wee standing up over the toilet, rather than him sitting down, and so far it has been a success. If they do struggle then tell the teachers to let them know, so they can help your child prompt when they need to go, as they can be shy at first when needing the toilet.
2. Can they dress themselves. With my son Henry he can do it, but chooses not to, and can be lazy. So I try to get him to try and stay beside him why he tries, without assisting him to much. Not always easy when in a rush, but some of the time, and sometimes he has fussed because we have stepped in and helped him, so let them try to dress themselves as it will be good if they can , so they can do this independently at school
3. Are they able to read properly yet. I think if you begin to read to your child at an early age, helps them read and understand words a lot younger, so if there are notices up or things they need to read to do certain activities, the more they don’t get frustrated and not do as they are asked. I find that when you put words with pictures, helps with their association of things and know what words mean, and stops them from getting frustrated when they can’t communicate. I have written more about this as you continue down this list of things.
4. Sharing and interaction. Can they play nicely with other children and share toys? Children need to understand that the items they get to play with at school isn’t theirs and for all the children in their class to play with aswell. One way I would go about doing this, to help them play at school happily and nicely, when they have other children to play with before they go to school, to allow each child to play with a toy that is popular for a certain amount of time, and then they must give it to another child to play with, in a nicely manner. Always make sure, especially now since COVID, that children wash their hands after playing with a toy, and that the toy is cleaned, so it can be shared without the spread of germs, and as kids have a tendency to put things in their mouths, explain to them before they play with the toy, not to put it into their mouths to prevent germs being spread
5. Can pack their bags by themselves. This is going to be my new implementation with Henry this year, because kids need to start as soon they become more aware, more independent. So give your child a list of what they need to pack, be with them so they know where to find items in the home and have all items laid out, put in place where they can then put it into their bag for school. Once they start to do this, it will be like walking come naturally and saves you as the parent time so you can do other things, like getting our own bag ready for the next day
6. Know the school routine. So the routine for school is a massive transition, because nurseries can be much more flexible on time, but with school they must (in the UK) wear uniform, be there on time and do more learning than play, especially after Reception and they go into Year 1 and have a more structured day. So to help them to prepare for school have them in a routine of getting up early, dressing themselves, packing their bags, know the school route and how long it takes and what they must do independently once they are in school.
7. Communication. Having kids learn about how to communicate correctly can take its time, but it can be helped through music, reading and writing. Instead of them pointing or have them take you to something they want, try and have them tell you what it is they want, as this will help them at school. Asking if they can go to the toilet, if they can play with a certain toy, or do a certain activity. The more they can speak and say what is they want, helps them to not be aggressive, which they can do when they can’t communicate correctly and can get frustrated because they can’t say what they want, and them feeling isolated because their speech is not fully developed. If your are worried about their speech then do tell your child’s doctor or health visitor, as they can arrange for your child to have speech therapy, which Henry has at school once a week and before he went to school and really helped a lot
8. Never be silent as a parent and ask questions. It is a massive transition for us when our child starts school, aswell as your child, so if you have any concerns raise them. What Henry’s school did , was home visits before he and his fellow pupils began their first year at school. My concern was Henry running out of the school premises, because he has often done that, seen a door open to the outdoors and run out. So if you have any worries, then do ask about them to help give you have reassurance, that your child will be okay at school
9. Know colours. A lot of schools will have signs up in different colours for all the parents, teachers and kids to see. Like school values, and know example when crossing a road which is important for when you and them walk to school, know what the red light means, the yellow and the green, to help them get to school safely, and learn to follow the school values.
10. Read and understand people and school kids emotions. This will help them with building relationships at school, because kids like us can have off days, and if a child isn’t wanting to be bothered, then it is important your child understands that, and give that child some space, and then talk to them again once they are happy and want to speak to you. Henry is a very cuddly child and can often invade personal space, so I have had to keep telling him that he can still be nice but from a distance.

So I hope I have covered everything, and I hope if you still have some holiday left before school you have a good one and remember to stay safe .

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

Good Parenting Habits

As a parent to try and stay somewhat organized it is good to have some good parenting habits, and do things that you both can enjoy,such as:

1. Get ready the night before. So rather than rushing in the mornings and worried that your child is going to cause havoc, when you are not with them for 5 minutes, taking my shower the night before and laying out my clothes, saves me so much time the next morning
2. Have meals with your kids. So breakfast and dinner, as when I have eaten at different times he hasn’t always stayed at the table, so I make sure I have at least one meal with my son, to encourage him to eat and be good during meal times.
3. Rewards and encouragement. When Henry has done well with his homework, eaten his meals, played nicely and without a fuss, he will get rewarded. By doing this I find my son gets into good habits of his own, by tidying his toys away, playing connect 4 without cheating and fussing and gone shopping with me with no fuss
4. Creating a schedule. I live by my schedules and I do them each week and weekend. It helps me with making sure I have some relax time and self care too
5. Chatting with your child to see how they feel and if they are trying to tell you something, but not yet fully speaking, but is still mumbled and in baby talk, then chatting with them to find out what they want is the key, and use images to help them to.
6. Good routine, that helps you and them. It lets them see that not every hour or day is playtime and they must do some learning too, to help with their independence and wellbeing.
7. Having mum and son time. This really helps us to bond as mother and son, example: building lego, doing some fun homework, as it doesn’t have to be strict, or watching a bit of TV together
8. Set boundaries, which I talk a lot about, as this helps them see what is good and what is bad, and if they are bad then there are consequences, like not allowing them to watch their iPad , but when they are good then they can
9. Both getting outdoor time. I think this is important as we can all get bored being stuck indoors all day. I know we have been in lockdown, so couldn’t be helped, but now we can go out more it does a world of good, as it breaks down the day and whilst your child is playing in the park, you can have some time sitting down drinking a coffee if you wish and both allowing each other some space
10. Arranging play dates. Again this has been tricky with the Pandemic, but now we can socialise more, why not have a play date, it gives them time to spend with other children and yourself, spending time with other adults and parents.

If you have some good habits that I haven’t listed then please share in the comments section below.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

When Parenting is Bliss

Today was a hit a miss day. Henry did his last day of his School Sports club which was organized by Headstart, please read my previous post: Afterschool and summer clubs

So he was full of beans this morning and enjoyed his last day of the club, and was a pleasure on the journey back home.

We then later on after Henry had his lunch took him to a funfair in Wimbledon Park. Well of course as soon as he saw the playground as there are two in the park, he wanted to go in them.

However we wanted him to do this last and do the funfair first, as we weren’t sure how long it was open for, and as soon as we entered Henry wanted to go on the airplane ride. Henry has ADHD and so his patience for queuing is pretty limited and was really kicking off whilst we got him tokens to go on the rides, and also the bouncy castle.

The one thing about funfairs is like playgrounds, it is great getting them in there, it is just getting them out again that can be tricky. You can often be the parent whose child is screaming blue murder, because they don’t want to leave and suddenly you want to have a tantrum of your own and say “This ain’t fare why is it always my child?”, but then we’d probably be criticized by those parenting trolls and asked to leave.

Henry did not want to get off the bouncy castle and decided to have the poor lady who was in charge of the castle, chase him round. Honestly they say parents can be embarrassing, kids can be too, trust me. Finally the lady who was running the bouncy castle got him off at which we had to say “That isn’t right” and explained to him that he has to come off when he is told to, and we did pre-warn him first before he went onto the bouncy castle. With my son though, when he is defiant it is hard to negotiate with him, in any case he did say sorry, and then he did go on a couple more rides again, but he kept getting upset when the rides had finished and so we decided to go.

Henry I could see was tired and wasn’t really the best time to go, because he has been awake for ages, because he wakes up so early.

The one thing I would say, is if you can take them when they aren’t tired and are the most cooperative then do so, and for us that is in the morning.

However, we took Henry to have an Ice Cream and he was fine. He sat in the cafe there and ate him ice cream without a murmur.

Now as I am writing this blog, he has laid in bed no getting up because I have left the room to have a shower, like he can do one some evenings and went to the toilet and brushed his teeth happily and so if you have up and down days too, but have a peaceful evening, just take in when parenting is bliss, as like me, you never know how long it will last.

When it comes to parenting, no days are the same and one minute they can be happy and doing as their told to being a total pest.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

Afterschool and summer clubs

Henry has joined his first summer school club. I was indecisive of what to do, as I really wanted him to take part in a school club activity, but as Rugbytots was a failure, I wasn’t sure how he would do. This club is organized by Headstart and it is teaching children all different sports.

So far he has been lovin it and done really well.

His first day, Monday was a little nervy because he did get up and run off, like he can but when I caught him and sat him back down, he then followed the coaches instructions and joined and had lots of fun.

I stayed until the first break, as they do three 45 minutes of different sports and then in between have 15 minute breaks, so they can have a drink, use the toilet and have a snack and just time so the coaches can then set things up for the next 45 minute session.

I would say to other parents thinking about joining your child to do a sports club of some kind to let the organisers know if your child has any special needs or requirements. As Henry does have ADHD, the guy who was incharge, Mark, said that the organisation can’t provide one-to-one care, so that’s why I stayed in to see how he does in the first session, just to see how he gets on.

I think it is important for your child to try different clubs, because they can benefit them so much, with socialising, communication, listening, working in teams and he gets plenty of exercise, plus he loves sport.

We still have today and tomorrow to go, so I am going to see how Henry continues on and if he really does like it and enjoys it then I will join him into doing the after school club with Headstart (the organisation that hosts the club).

When it comes to doing clubs, never be shy in asking the organisers of the club, if your child can do a trial run. They may say no, but never be fearful of asking, as all they will say is no. Once you have checked then you can decide from there.

Of course it is important that they are able to get changed by themselves and go to the toilet independently as there won’t always be someone with them, but what I liked is Mark the man in charge, asked Henry’s coach, as the kids were divided in different groups, to show Henry where the toilets were, should he need to go.

If you are not sure about joining your child to an afterschool club, then book them into a summer clubs at their school (if their school does any clubs), then see how they get on. There is no harm in trying these clubs out, as you will soon know if they aren’t ready to take part in afterschool club.

The club was £60 and that was for the four days, as Headstart clubs are in the summer and run for 4 days during different weeks. There were some kids who did all the weeks and some that did a few, you can decide, but when you do, get in early as the places for these types of clubs, get booked up very quickly.

I managed to get a place because someone cancelled the day before, so I got the last place.

Anyway so far it has been good, so fingers crossed it will be the same for all the days of the club and then will look at joining Henry up to the after school club, this coming year.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

Getting ready for the new school year

I know we still have a few weeks left of the summer holidays, but as the weeks seem to fly by, it will soon be another school year.

First tip# Have all your school uniform in one place, so you can just take it out and go through it, and do some checking by having your children try on the uniform to see what they have grown out of, and what items they will need for the next year, that will fit them.

This will give you time to get some new bits rather than waiting to order items at the last minute.

Second tip# Label everything with your child’s name on it, even their underwear, as Henry still has the odd accident and also their socks. You can either use stickers, or write on the label or like Emily Norris showed in one of her videos, which I will link, used a stamp to label her children’s clothes and it was strong ink so it wouldn’t rub off.

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I CRIED EDITING THIS VIDEO! HACK, BACK TO SCHOOL & DAY IN OUR LIFE | Emily Norris

Look for second hand uniform as some items don’t need to be brand new as they do grow so quickly and then you can reuse it for your next child, if you have more than one child.

Third tip# If your school does a uniform sale, which follows on to what I said above, that is second hand uniform, just make sure you relabel it with your child’s name and you wash it first before it is worn, as it would have been handled by many people, before it needs to be worn by your child.

The night before the school year terms starts, hang each child’s uniform in their room or if they get dressed in the Living room then have it hanging in their for the morning.

Tip 4# To help save you time, do a check list and to help your child to be independent give them individual check lists so they can go through their bags and clothes to make sure they have it already for school the next day.

new-year-of-school-check-listDownload

kids-check-listDownload

Tip 5# Do a block schedule, so you can print one out or make one, as I have done for my personal planner and my financial planner. I am going to update block schedule by having separate google calendars for school dates, work and personal.

Using google calendar is great as you can take it wherever you go on your phone and set reminders for other things you need to remember.

Tip 6# Make Fridays your clear out day, so you have a good clear out of their school bags, wash all uniform including PE Kit and sports wear, update their diary and check for any homework that is due.

When it comes to homework set a plan of when you will do homework each day and show them. Give your child a schedule so they to can see when they will have homework, when they will have play time, dinner and then bed.

Tip 7# Start looking at booking afterschool clubs, if you would like your child to stay on after schools finishes especially if you work full time, and/or just want some extra time during the day, then book as soon as new places become available. My son’s school have already put the forms up ready and so we have filled this in.

When it comes to choosing an afterschool club, and are not sure if you child will be happy to go to one, then you usually have to contact the actual club organisers which are separate from the school, and ask if your child can try it out first. Some may say no, but there is no harm in asking. Usually when it comes to school clubs, because they are a separate company to the school, they won’t do 1 to 1 care, like they do during the school day, so if you are unsure then I would wait until your child is a more independent and can change their clothes on their own, can go the toilet by themselves and not reliant on another person.

You will soon know when your child is ready and when you do know, get in quick as going on my own knowledge, places for afterschool clubs can fill up very quickly.

Tip 8# Get them prepared for the new school year. At my son’s school they did a couple of transition days towards the end of the last year, and with Henry they did the transition for him the week before whilst he was attending school after Lockdown, and they have created a book about his new year in September to help us get him prepared.

You can do the same, just ask if you can take pictures but make sure you don’t post them on social media to protect your child and other children. In the booklet show them where their classroom will be and look like, where their pegs are going to be, who will be their teacher and assistant teachers and where they will have playtime and lunch.

Tip 9# If your child has not attended that school before or it is their first year, then do a trial run of the journey. Often at schools they will do a Moving up day or a introduction days, so they can get to know their new surroundings, there maybe some children they may already know , because often the nurseries they have been to, if local they will take the children over to the school so they can see what it is like then too. Don’t be surprised if they are a little bit daunted as it is a huge transition from nursery to school, as there are more rules and regulations that we as a parents have to follow and for our children.

There is a brilliant learning activity book that Henry chose with some money he was given and bought it from The Works, and it is a Let’s get ready for School Activity kit, and it has a activity book, instructions for parents of how to use the kit and has a book about starting school and what he will need.

Tip 10# So you can get ready before your kids have to, set your alarm half an hour to an hour before your children wake up, if they tend to wake up late. If they are like my son and early bird, then I don’t really need an alarm, because he is my alarm and gets up anytime between 4am to 6am, so no chance for me to get up before hand, as this means getting up at 3am.

So I have my shower, clothes hung up and picked for the next day, along with my sons uniform and bags packed by the door, so all I have do is get myself dressed, get my son dressed and have breakfast and then off to school.

When it comes to the school run it is always a mad dash, but if you can prepare and plan ahead it will help with the mad rush and concentrate on getting there.

There will be more blogs and tools to come for getting your kids ready for the new school term, so please keep a look out for posts and more printables.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

How to deal with the strops

Hello and welcome to another parenting blog. In this post I writing about how to deal with the strops. My son is very stroppy at the moment, and it can be about the most minute thing, like Grandpa not opening the gates for us to park outside our home and it being nanny instead.

He gets stroppy if he isn’t pushed on the swing, because we are trying to teach him how to work the swing on his own, and he will pull the biggest strop ever, by stamping his fit, winge and then starts to get vicious. So to stop him I tell him “If you don’t want to go home I suggest you stop that otherwise you won’t get anything you want and hitting me is not going to help you”.

This will usually stop him, but when it becomes a continuous thing through the day it can really start to wear thin on your patience and then I can explode, but when I do that he can start laughing and not take me seriously which then really gets my back up, as I know he is doing it because he knows that he has got me and will continue to be defiant, so what I do then is say “Right okay, we’ll go home and you won’t play out again for the rest of the day or get your tablet”.

Kids need to know where you stand and when you are being serious and from experience shouting doesn’t seem to do the trick, but taking something he loves playing with away from him keeping a steady voice, he does.

When I was a kid my dad was very strict and if we didn’t eat our dinner we were told that we couldn’t leave the table unless we had finished our dinner and I could be sitting there for hours with my dinner was getting cold and if we started being a pain in the bum we were then sent to bed with no TV and were slapped.

That was a different time and there was no naughty step and so our punishment was to go to bed until the next day, or weren’t allowed to play outside in the Estate where we lived. Please check out my book called The Peabody Years, which documents my life back when I lived in Peabody Estate in Hammersmith. It is available via Amazon.

The roads, the park and the adventure play ground were our playground most of the time and playing in the streets were the normality of those days, before the internet and ipads, etc came along. It was a different lifetime.

Now kids have a load of activities to choose from, but if they decide to be stroppy and uncooperative, not doing as they are told then why should they get a new toy or play on their bike?

I am a great believer that if you are good then you are rewarded, but if you don’t behave then you won’t get a rewarded or get to play with their favourite toy.

Also when Henry is tired he can get super stropy and boisterous, by grabbing the first item he sees and chucks it. He will become overtired which for my son it is dangerous territory as he will start to be a pain in the bum when it comes to going to bed and to sleep.

Having a good bedtime routine can take control of that and helps them understand when it is time for bed, it is time to be quiet and chillout.

Set rules and boundaries, and put them up on the wall so they know how they must behave and what happens when they are good compared to when they are not.

The more they understand about how they must behave helps them when they start school or nursery, because of playing with other kids and how to be respectful to their teachers.

Soon they will back at school and so if you are counting down the days then have no fear it will soon be here, and I am going to post a lot in the coming weeks as we get nearer of tips and tricks of getting ready to go back to school.

So thank you so much for all that are following me on this blog so far and have liked my posts, it is truly amazing and wouldn’t go a day without you guys keeping me going.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

Reducing Parenting Stress

When it comes to being a parent there are all kinds of worries that can cause us not to sleep well at night. My son at the moment is very stroppy when he can’t have his way, hits out when he doesn’t get what he wants and keeps on and on repeating himself to see if he keeps on that we will suddenly change our minds.

Parenting is stressful at times and often we can feel like we have no control over the situation. We suddenly feel guilty for not knowing what to do, but feel that we should know what to do and be prepared for any situation, because of parenting instinct.

However they are little humans and we have no idea what really goes through their minds, like we don’t know what is going on in other adults minds. Kids are unpredictable, one minute they like eating bananas the next they don’t. They are continuously changing their minds over things so being a parent it can be baffling.

Check out my blog I wrote called: What to do when kids are unpredictable

Reducing parenting stress I would advise you to not just put your child in time out, but you too. Not meaning that you should be punished, but moving away from the situation, to give yourself time to breath, think and then act.

When you both have calmed down, so you and your child, then explain to them, that their behaviour is not good and if you want to be happy and want me to be happy, then you must be nice and do as mummy or daddy asks.

I do believe in taking items they love away from them if they can’t be good and decide to be horrible instead, because it makes them see that kicking and screaming is not going to get them what they want, and they have to understand that mum and dad, or nan and grandad, have boundaries that must not be crossed.

It is teaching kids to be respectful and kind.

The sooner a child understands about boundaries the more they will see that if they are listening and being good, then they will have the things they love and enjoy, and makes everyone happy.

Showing a child pictures of different emotions can help them in their understanding of what makes everyone around them happy, when someone is unhappy and sad.

I watched a video by one of my favourite Youtubers, called Do It On a dime and she talked about how she felt last year that she couldn’t get into teaching her sons at home, yet she had been a teacher for many years. In the video she recommends another lady who has a website and a Youtube channel to help you when you feel overwhelmed.

She suggests looking at photos of the different ages of when you were your children’s age and what would you tell your younger self.

The other thing I would suggest is to journal and create goals for both you and your children to help with their learning and development.

Kids need to understand that there are rules set for a reason and that is to allow them to play but nicely and safely.

So lets continue to enjoy the rest of the school summer holidays and try to have a happy home as much as possible.

Many thanks for reading,

 

Carrie X

What you need as parents

Being a parent we can often neglect ourselves because we are so focussed on our kids, but what about the key things we need:

• A place where you can take 5 minutes of peace and quiet, so why not create a place in your garden or a room where you can just sit and be quiet, and put a sign on the door, “Only come in once mum or dad has had some quiet time”.
• A hobby. I  am loving my weekends now and so my hobby for myself at the weekends is to do some walking in many different places and sit in the sun reading a book, writing in my journals or planning my writing for my books and blogs
• Time with friends. Being a parent we can often feel isolated and lonely at times so make a date with your friends to have some time with them, whilst someone else takes care of your baby
• Learn something new. I love doing training courses, so I will often go onto Offcourse.co.uk and do a course to help me with my work and on my own personal development
• Take yourself on a date. So now I have my weekends free, I will be having a lot of dates with myself and going on many trips. You don’t have to necessarily spend money but just go out and explore
• Parks with a kiosk, so you can grab that well earned coffee whether hot or cold, whilst your kids are playing
• Cook your favourite meal for once or go out to dinner, with no kids for a change and put on a movie or play out some tunes, respecting your neighbours or fellow public in parks, and bring some festival music to enjoy your summer even more
• Have money saved just for you, not just for your kids, so you can save up for things you would would like on your wish list aswell as your kids

As parents, it isn’t often that we get time to ourselves so when we do, it is important I think to make the most of any free time, to help us recharge our batteries.

It is important to look after our own wellbeing aswell as I kids, as when we are happy, they will be happy too.

Many thanks for reading,

 

Carrie X

When kids are driving you mad

New changes to when I will be posting blogs on this  site. Instead of posting on a Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday. I will be now posting on a Monday, Wednesday, Thursday and Saturday.