Category Archives: Transitions

Stressful Parenting

I wrote a blog on my site called Everyone can build a castle on wordpress.com about Dealing with Stress 

I talk about how I get so stressed out when it comes to taking my son to school, and I have even written a post called Getting children to school where I talk about getting a child to school and doing it gradually.

If you suffer with anxiety like I do, doing things gradually rather than all in one go, really helps lower the pressure and helps me get through the morning.

Once my son is in school I breath a sigh of relief and get on with my day.

Why as parents do we get so stressed?

I wish I knew the answer but I think it is the overwhelming pressure in my case of getting my son to school safely as there are some big roads in between.

I picture the worse case scenario to help make myself aware of the dangers that can happen. It makes me take extra care not to let Henry cross the road without checking whats coming first, so he will eventually learn to do the same.

My husband says I panic over the slightest thing, but I am worrier, and I can’t help but worry, it is part of my DNA I have come to realise.

Does it make me being a worrier effect me as a parent?

I think so but I’d rather be aware of the dangers rather than not, and I know that the stress isn’t gonna last for long, it is only for 20 minutes or so.

The same goes when it comes to toilet training, has Henry had an accident at school or not, so far he has been accident free, and getting to bed especially during the night can be stressful aswell, but again I just tell myself eventually he will go back to sleep, and everything will be alright.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

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Teaching my son about the new year

Teaching children about the new year I think is important, so they become aware of the changes the new year brings, example they know that in the new year they go back to school.

They may not understand about the new year but I think it is important to make them aware of what the new year means.

I want my son to get to know that we celebrate the new year, by taking him out, allow him if he wants to, to stay up late to see the fireworks up close or on the TV.

Let him see that we kiss when the clock strikes 12 and that we sing afterwards. If he decides later in life not to celebrate the new year then that is fine, it is up to him, but it good for him to see that the new years is a good thing not something bad.

So lets raise our glasses and I wish you all a happy new year. See you in 2019.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

Getting Children to go to school

Image result for Royalty free taking children to school

Getting a child to school can be tricky, getting my son ready for school can take its time as my son, if he could walk out the house naked or in his Pajamas he would.

I do things gradually so we gradually have Henry eat his breakfast and then at 8 minutes passed seven each morning that’s when we get Henry dressed ready for school. We have started to get him to do it himself, so putting on his pants, trousers and shirt.

I will admit some mornings I do have to wrestle with him to get him dressed. So not always easy.

Once my son is dressed I then I find everything else just fits into place. Getting into a routine is helpful, for both you as the parent and for the child so they know at this time of the day, this when we get dressed, put our shoes on, brush our teeth and one last trip to the toilet, as my fear is getting caught short, and Henry needing a toilet stop on the way to school.

Once we are out of the house it takes a long time to get to school, because my son wants to look and watch everything going passed, the birds, the buses, the squirrels, cars and other children going to school, so I make sure I leave with plenty of time.

The worst thing I hate the most is rushing, and if I can avoid it I will do.

If they do have a melt down on the way then stop, get down to their level and explain that it is OK, and try and take their mind off of it, by looking at the nature or things around them.

Keep letting them know how far away they are and that they doing really well in walking, and don’t worry if they have a meltdown as these will pass.

Children are just like us we get anxious over new experiences and changes, and children aren’t any different. As they start feeling their emotions they become more aware of what is happening around them.

I get anxious but I try to hide it, as I don’t want my fears to effect Henry in anyway and be afraid to go to school.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

When times are hard

I wrote a blog a while ago about Sometimes I find it a Struggle, and I still now there are times when it is so hard, that I just wish I could click my fingers and it all be right again. I can get my son’s uniform on without a fight, I will be at school without the long dreaded walk, and I will get a good report each day after school, but that wouldn’t be life. 

Life is about facing good and bad times and parenting most definitely has its ups and downs. No one tells you the truth and if someone tells me now that it gets easier, I ignore as I know that isn’t the truth, it just changes as your children grow.

Sorry to break the bad news, but it’s true, there are still hard times it comes I have found with parenting. 

Last week was my toughest so far as Henry refused to get dressed and put his uniform on, so I would raise my voice and have tantrum of my own, he wouldn’t go to the toilet when told I had to pick him up and take him there, and I literally had to pull him out of the house to get him to school, as he wanted to watch his tablet, and we had a few bad reports back after school too.

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I think a lot of it was due to tiredness as when he is tired he will play up, so we are trying to get him to sleep for longer and not wake up so early, even though that’s a challenge in itself. 

Come Friday he was a lot better and has been this week so far. I feel nervous in saying that, as one thing I have learned from becoming a parent, is it can all change again tomorrow, and I will be having tantrums of my own again. 

I do try and stay calm but I slowly feel the heat rising and just want to scream, but staying calm as much as possible helps more than when I have a tantrum and when I begin to rant and rave. 

No one told me what a mission it was to get a child to school on time, especially as Henry wants to stop every minute or so to watch the cars, vans, lorries, buses and planes fly over, and see if we can spot any squirrels. I try to be patient and just walk without rushing, but when time starts to tick over I can’t help but worry about being late, even though we have so far made it time, it just takes forever to get there. 

The one thing I am pleased about is that he is happy to go to school once we are out and once we are there, he goes into his classroom without a fuss, and he ran in there yesterday before I could catch him, he was gone, but then when we (my husband and i) picked him up he wanted to run out of the school aswell, which I don’t blame him as I hated school when I was a kid and could’t wait to leave. 

If you are having a hard time then remember is doesn’t last forever and Henry like I say has been OK so far this week. Yes it can all change, but I also don’t want to wish his little life away either and yesterday he actually told me for the first time of what he did at school, which is a break through, as before when we asked the response we got was “Yeah” and nothing more. 

So lets see how today has gone, I feel nervous about picking him from school because I never know what the report back will be, but I will keep my fingers crossed and keep being persistent with teaching Henry to be good at school and hang on in there, as I hope like most things do they will work out in the end. 

Many thanks for reading, 

Carrie X 

Finding a good school

As we are now coming into November, this is the time you should be looking at visiting schools and applying for your school of choice, before January 2019 for your child depending on their birth date.

This was my husband and I last year, and thankfully we go out second choice.

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You want to visit during school hours if possible as you can see by the children’s expression and body language if they enjoy their school or not and can usually pick up a good or bad vibe.

You wanna go by the way the school has presented itself and what their Ofsted report is like. Luckily both of the schools we wanted for our son were both Outstanding, which I appreciate not everyone is that lucky, but nevertheless it is good to check out the Ofsted report, and if the school will get the best out of your child.

I know in the UK it all comes down to distance and if you live in the catchment area, but like my nieces they go to go a school further from their home because ones in their area to where they lived were really bad, and didn’t have good reputation at all.

Consider whether or not they Will be able to give your child the care and attention they need. I knew for Henry our son, he would need one to one support as he has slight development delay, and so it was important that the school could provide that for us.

How will they introduce your child to school? Do they do home visits? Going to school for any child can be daunting so you want to lower the stress of school as much as possible and have them look forward to it, rather than dreading it.

To find the schools in your area check out your local authority and how you can apply and what date you need to apply by.

Many thanks for reading,

 

Carrie X

Continuously Anxious

Taking my son to school I have become continuously anxious, and it is the lead up to it that I continuously play in my mind, the getting the uniform on, as at times my son refuses to get dressed, giving him medicine as he has a cough and cold, brushing his teeth and getting his backpack on, remembering his bottle of water, his book bag and today I had to take in his temporary PE kit.

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I don’t know what it is I am expecting but just getting him into the school yard just takes up so much energy because I get so anxious about it, and next week it is going to build up even more as I start a new job. YIKES!

He is fine going to school, he got a bit upset on the second day, but so far he is going in no fuss.

Its just me who gets so worked up over the walk to school and back, that once I drop him off the feeling of relief is out of this world.

Am I the only one who feels so anxious getting their child to school? I see other parents rushing to get their children in school and I think, do they do the same? Do they get anxious?

I have spoken to a few other mums and said hello, but not had a full blown conversation. I will admit I find it hard to get into conversations with strangers and people I haven’t gotten to know.

I just wished I didn’t get so anxious when it comes to taking my son to school. I know as I keep on taking him to school it will become less stressful. Well I hope so. Please tell me does it get easier? Then it is keeping up to date with the regular school letters, filling in his school diary, making sure he reads three times a week, and then there will be home work.

School is a whole new experience, different to nursery, as he has to go to school there is no exception for lateness, and it’s whole new transition that is quite overwhelming in parts.

However he is there now doing his first full day so we will see how he got on when I pick him up later.

Many thanks for reading,

 

Carrie X

 

New Mother and Baby Chat video

I recently made a new Mother and Baby chat video on Youtube, talking about toilet training and my son starting school this week. Please see video below:

I hope you enjoy watching this video and if you would like to see more than do let me know in the comments section below.

Many thanks,

 

Carrie X

Only week away until school begins

It feels so strange that as of next week my son will be starting school, and going to be honest I am a little apprehensive about it, because I know the first day will be tough. So far getting him actually in the school premises has been tricky, so not looking forward to wrestling with him, into school.

I know these times will pass and he will eventually get used to it, but getting him into the routine is going to be a huge transformation.

So far we have got him toilet trained. I hope I haven’t just jinxed that, and now we are trying to get him to pull his trousers up and down.

I know there will be other parents going through the same, and I do feel comfort from that, but it will be a massive transition for both Henry and I. I have enjoyed our time together, spending endless days playing indoors, going up to London, going on days out to various places like Legoland Windsor and taking him to softplay.

As a lover of Youtube I did come across a really good video by Emily Norris who gives tips on how to prepare your child for school.

 

We have Henry’s uniform all ready, and so all that has to be done is to put his name labels on it, and we are trying to get Henry to recognise his name, which he is starting to do.

Is your child starting school too, how are you preparing them?

I would love to hear from you.

Many thanks for reading,

 

Carrie X

 

Toilet Training Success

I have been putting off of writing this blog, because every time I think we have succeeded with the toilet training Henry has an accident, but we are having less accidents now so we are succeeding. Last Friday he had no accidents at nursery, just when he was in the car, but the traffic near where we live is bedlam at the moment and took my husband 50 minutes from nursery to home so Henry had wet himself in the car.

However we are having super success and he is even doing number two’s in the toilet too. Sorry for the TMI.

We have just been putting him on the toilet every 2 to 3 hours or before or after he has eaten so he gets into a routine and has started to go to the toilet on his own. I think the accidents are caused, due to him occasionally forgetting or not realising he needs to go.

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My mum has really helped with it, it is good to have someone to help who has been there and done it. Toilet training children isn’t easy and letting them see you go can help, so they get to understand that they need to use the toilet now for wee’s and pooh’s, and Henry now is no longer in nappies during the day and we have had days where there has been no accidents at all.

I am even going to stop putting a nappy on him when he has a nap during the day, but the naps during the day are becoming less and less too.

Henry didn’t like using public toilets so we have this portable seat which you put over a normal size toilet seat so they don’t fall down the hole.

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These are great my mum bought us one for Henry and you can get them from Boots. One tip thought, put black stoppers underneath, helps to keep the portable seat still.

They come with a little bag you can put them in so easy to carry around and remember to wipe them over once used, I clean ours every time it is used. So carry some antibacterial wipes with you, when out to help keep the seat clean.

If you have any toilet training advice then all advice is welcomed. It has been a long process but pleased we are getting there and finally having some success.

Many thanks for reading,

 

Carrie X

 

Battle of Toilet Training

Henry is now 6 weeks away from starting school and we are still toilet training.

It is a long process, but we are now not doing any nappies during the day, apart from when we go out for a long time or he has a afternoon nap and only for night time. It does mean a lot of washing, but I know it is the only way.

He was telling us he needed the toilet but then suddenly stopped and seemed to just go as if he is not expecting it, himself.

Yesterday when we went out, we didn’t put a nappy on him when we took him to softplay and the park, he did go toilet in a public toilet which he wouldn’t do before.

First of all we have a feat to try and keep him on the toilet, as soon as we sit him down he wants to instantly get up again, so I try to encourage him by singing nursery rhymes, at nursery they do shapes.

He doesn’t wear nappy pants at nursery now either, and it did seem to be working, but we are still having accidents. When he goes on the toilet we do reward him with a bit of chocolate, or a balloon.

If I had known it would take this long I would have done the potty training sooner, but it seemed that he wasn’t ready. He seems to take one step forward and two steps back.

It is all about being persistent like everything else, I know, but it is getting a little frustrating, as we think he’s got it, and then has another accident.

I try not to punish him for the accidents, but just act a little disappointed, and say “Henry, why didn’t you say anything?” and then I will put him on the toilet to remind him that is where he needs to go.

Toilet training is a massive transition and I think we all at some point wet ourselves, but it’s getting the message that isn’t what you supposed to do which can  be the frustrating part about it.

Any advise I would give is buy a load of packets of pants to start of with, so you can just take them off, and put another pair on, or on some days I leave him bare, when we are staying indoors, so he can just go on the toilet and go, rather than have to pull pants up and down.

If you have any toilet training advise then all is welcome.

Many thanks for reading,

 

Carrie X