Another Child kicking off and Another Mum telling him off

So just been for a walk with my son, as he was getting restless and it had stopped raining, and walking back he wanted to go back the way we came, but to have a good walk, I wanted to walk around the park and go the back way home.

Photo by Gustavo Fring on Pexels.com

As he is kicking off, I notice a man watching giving me looks, as he is walking ahead and I am like in my head as I see him whilst I trying to control my son, like “Yes another child kicking off and another mum telling him off, trying to calm him down, so I don’t need you giving me the evils”.

In the end he was fine, and all was okay, but what is it with people like him. He was a kid once, and I get it, some people don’t like kids, or judging because I am yes “I am a mum, with a child who doesn’t want to do as he is told”.

I know I should ignore but I can’t help but say something. I feel that I am speaking for majority of parents here, and that is, “Kids will kick off”.

We can only do our best, but again people forget, kids will express themselves and it wasn’t a really long walk, just enough so my son and I could get some exercise. However In then end it was fine and very quiet, but like that guy, stop judging and giving parents the evils, and never forget you were a kid, and that will be an issue as a parent.

You can’t always please our kids, but parent them so they know that you are only trying to look out for them and not by any means trying to upset them.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

Work and Motherhood

Photo by Aditi Sharma on Pexels.com

There are many things that I like to share on this channel, and as I write this blog as I am listen to a Podcast called Happy Mum Happy Baby, and inspired me to write this blog check it out via this link https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qNzdqv0FFKI

It also inspired me today because I went for a interview as I am looking to work outside and do Childcare work as I want to help other parents, not just via this blog but face to face too, but it is tricky because I need to work around school hours and I know there are many parents in the same boat as me and my husband (my son’s dad), works so we have to manage it so he gets to work on time and I am there in Epsom, as I travel from Wimbledon at the moment each day, for when my son comes home from school.

You have to do what you can. but I feel often you can’t win as a parent as you do have to do what works around your children, and parents have had to give up work because they can’t afford childcare to do so and becomes expensive and I don’t want to miss out on spending time with my son, so it is tricky.

I have watched many debates on TV, who remember Kilroy, heard people say you should be staying at home to look after your child or you need to work instead of living on benefits, and feel we’re getting it wrong, which is not true. Ok so it was up to us to want to be parents and we made that choice, but we are produced to produce, not saying that people who don’t want children are wrong, not at all, its just fact. It’s is up to personal choice and I knew I always wanted to have children, and shouldn’t feel guilty in wanting that, it’s part of the reproductive system and why we grow to carry a child even when you don’t want to and so we shouldn’t be hearing “Your getting wrong” it is up to what works for your family. Money isn’t evil it is what we need to survive and I am building other income streams, such as I write books and sell on amazon and want to build my own second hand shop online, and I am not doing all that because of the money but because I enjoy writing and want to be making a living in the books and selling other products of my own and teach others to do the same.

We need to look after ourselves and working ourselves to the bone is not, but doesn’t mean we have to drop everything but have a balance and do what financially will make you happy and ignore judgement, you are your own person and do what you know will work not by somebody’s else’s choice.

Life is about living and lets work together to develop ourselves and build our learning as we parent our children and as said you are not on your own, and I’d like for you share your opinion on this. Please leave do so by adding a comment below.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

The Life Of A Blogging Parent- That’s kids!

I love writing blogs about being a parent, because I know like me we love it, but there are times where we feel baffled.

Is everyday as a parent different?

Yes! Children like I could be lovely but yes there were times I played up too. I would do the child stomp as if my head lost its hinge and flop my arms down, sulking into my bowl of frosties when told off. That’s kids.

My son volunterley will turn his back to me fold his arms and look towards a wall yet when I was a kid it was a sign of punishment when a school teacher told you off and said to sit towards a wall with arms and legs crossed.

Blogging as a parent helps to highlight areas that other parents struggle with also, which can make me look back and laugh at, like one day a child will put his shoes away no problem or hassle and other days he won’t. That’s kids.

I do find it funny when Henry finds it hilarious during story time as instead of getting sleepy and the way I will read a story we both end up in hysterics and can’t reach the end of a book because we are laughing our heads off. That’s kids.

When I first blogged I talked about giving Henry his first bath at home which thanks to my ex-husband became a shambles and we all couldn’t wait until it was over.

Do I have a schedule?

I do have a kind of schedule but because kids can be unpredictable like pick up illnesses especially at school I plan day by day usually following a to do list which is also done on the go, and it is the case of prepare for change of plans which comes with being a parent and still trying to still get stuff done at the same time.

So should you plan for the unexpected?

Yes! I have learned that being flexible with scheduling helps and not too plan too far ahead, just in case.

I worship a cup of coffee and tea like you wouldn’t believe now as kids keep you on your toes like when Henry thought opening the fridge door continuously was a new game. That’s kids.

When do I tend to write my blogs?

Well as he is with his dad at the moment during the day, but when he is with me in the daytime in the evenings when he is a sleep. No rest for the wicked.

Do I mind?

No! There was a time I did get stressed about it, but now I take a break and chillout. When it comes to blogging it’s about quality not quantity.

So I am gonna as my favourite band Bon Jovi sings, I’m going to rest my weary head, and relax for the rest of the night so I can blog ahead as the weekend commences and be fresh for tomorrow morning.

Life as a blogging parent has its challenges but wouldn’t change it for the world.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

How to deal with the strops

Hello and welcome to another parenting blog. In this post I writing about how to deal with the strops. My son is very stroppy at the moment, and it can be about the most minute thing, like Grandpa not opening the gates for us to park outside our home and it being nanny instead.

He gets stroppy if he isn’t pushed on the swing, because we are trying to teach him how to work the swing on his own, and he will pull the biggest strop ever, by stamping his fit, winge and then starts to get vicious. So to stop him I tell him “If you don’t want to go home I suggest you stop that otherwise you won’t get anything you want and hitting me is not going to help you”.

This will usually stop him, but when it becomes a continuous thing through the day it can really start to wear thin on your patience and then I can explode, but when I do that he can start laughing and not take me seriously which then really gets my back up, as I know he is doing it because he knows that he has got me and will continue to be defiant, so what I do then is say “Right okay, we’ll go home and you won’t play out again for the rest of the day or get your tablet”.

Kids need to know where you stand and when you are being serious and from experience shouting doesn’t seem to do the trick, but taking something he loves playing with away from him keeping a steady voice, he does.

When I was a kid my dad was very strict and if we didn’t eat our dinner we were told that we couldn’t leave the table unless we had finished our dinner and I could be sitting there for hours with my dinner was getting cold and if we started being a pain in the bum we were then sent to bed with no TV and were slapped.

That was a different time and there was no naughty step and so our punishment was to go to bed until the next day, or weren’t allowed to play outside in the Estate where we lived. Please check out my book called The Peabody Years, which documents my life back when I lived in Peabody Estate in Hammersmith. It is available via Amazon.

The roads, the park and the adventure play ground were our playground most of the time and playing in the streets were the normality of those days, before the internet and ipads, etc came along. It was a different lifetime.

Now kids have a load of activities to choose from, but if they decide to be stroppy and uncooperative, not doing as they are told then why should they get a new toy or play on their bike?

I am a great believer that if you are good then you are rewarded, but if you don’t behave then you won’t get a rewarded or get to play with their favourite toy.

Also when Henry is tired he can get super stropy and boisterous, by grabbing the first item he sees and chucks it. He will become overtired which for my son it is dangerous territory as he will start to be a pain in the bum when it comes to going to bed and to sleep.

Having a good bedtime routine can take control of that and helps them understand when it is time for bed, it is time to be quiet and chillout.

Set rules and boundaries, and put them up on the wall so they know how they must behave and what happens when they are good compared to when they are not.

The more they understand about how they must behave helps them when they start school or nursery, because of playing with other kids and how to be respectful to their teachers.

Soon they will back at school and so if you are counting down the days then have no fear it will soon be here, and I am going to post a lot in the coming weeks as we get nearer of tips and tricks of getting ready to go back to school.

So thank you so much for all that are following me on this blog so far and have liked my posts, it is truly amazing and wouldn’t go a day without you guys keeping me going.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

When kids run off and children go missing

 

Yesterday I had the fright of my life. I was in Poundland in Putney, London when all of a sudden I let go of my son’s had for literally a second and he sprints out of the shop door.

I then put back the item I was taking off the shelf and run after him, but couldn’t see him or what direction he took. My heart was in my mouth as Putney is a big town and lots of people, so he could have gone anywhere.

Luckily this lovely lady came and saw that I was somewhat distressed and knew that I was looking for a child, and said to me”Don’t worry we will find him” and she grabbed a security officer who was about to radio to another security guy to look for him.

We went back to Poundland and luckily he had returned, but I was at this point out of my whitsend, and boy did I tell him off, not screaming at him but to the point he was shaking from head to foot as I honestly thought for a minute I had completely lost him and did not know what to do.

I thought that he was well passed that stage of childhood, off running off and was going to write about on my other parenting blog how he is much more able to walk with me without needing to hold my hand and stay by my side, but after yesterday’s events, it made me see that when it comes to kids there is no knowing what they will do sometimes, and you do have to stay on your toes at all times.

As said Putney is quite a busy town with a very large busy road, and near the river too, so who knows what could have happened if I hadn’t been helped.

I am so grateful for other mums and parents because at the time you think you are the only one who this has happened to but it isn’t, and the lady that initially helped me knew exactly what to do, and tried to keep me calm whilst we looked for him.

I remember once when I was a kid I without telling my parents went to play inside someone elses home and so when my mum came to find me she couldn’t and then suddenly there was a search party looking for me, and then when she found out, of course I got a bollocking.

Of course at the time I was unaware of what distress I caused, until now I am a parent myself and when a child does go missing it is a parents worst nightmare; and I have had dreams where Henry has gone missing and couldn’t find him, so after yesterday I am going to make sure that he holds my hand at all times or stays close to me, if not we don’t go out.

I do feel at times you do have to be tough with children so they understand that if they run off it is dangerous and makes us all sad and unhappy, and there was another lady who saw me burst into tears afterwards, who told my son that he mustn’t do that because he had scared me so much.

I now get why my parents were so vigilant in knowing when and where we were going, because a child can go missing within a second and if there are lots of people around who knows where they could be.

Anyway, thankfully as said my son did return to where he ran from, but it did shake my up today and so we stayed local and in a park I know he won’t run out from.

If you are in a park please do the courtesy thing and put the lock on the gates just in case, as I have seen an even smaller child some weeks back who ran out of the gate, when his mum had been busy pushing another child on the swing.

Remember that parks are public areas and we should all do the common sense thing and that is,

• To watch our kids all the time
• Make sure they don’t walk in front of a moving swing
• Stand to close to a merrygoround as I seen kids get hit by one of these in my Estate where I used to live in Hammersmith
• You make sure that there isn’t another child at the bottom of a slide before your child slides down it
• Keep gates closed and shut at all times.
• That children don’t get too close to each other now because of COVID 19 and they wash and sanitize their hands before and after using the equipment and using the gates in the park

The more we try to keep ourselves and our children safe the more we can focus on them having a good time and some fun, without going missing or getting hurt.

I have created a new printable about Parenting Dilemmas and how to deal with them:

PARENTING DILEMMAS AND HOW TO DEAL WITH THEM

Many thanks for reading,

 

Carrie X