Tag Archives: the parenting adventures tips and tricks

Stop feeling guilty as a parent

Parents Thinking Clipart

Why do we put so much pressure and guilt on ourselves?

A question I ask myself all the time. I am fed up of feeling guilty. I know I am a good person, its just at times I feel I need to reach out and express how I am feeling and what is going on with my life to get it out of my system and to help others who may be going through the same thing.

Why is that such a crime?

I wrote a similar blog some time ago, see below:

Do What You Got To Do And Stop Feeling Guilty

At the moment things are not great but I am keeping my head up high ignoring the critters and trying to be the best person I can, trying to make a living with my blogs, but yet with some people that appears to be wrong, and yet they are okay to say how they feel towards me.

As far as I am concerned it is two way street. As a parent I often feel guilty but I think why, my son is in no distress, he is still very cheerful and is full of life. 

I wrote a blog about:

How to support your kids through a marriage break up

It is a topic that is very common and hard to deal with at times, but when people get involved who has nothing to do with it, makes it worse and you end up being the one who carries the guilt.

Why?

I never judged them when they were going through a marriage break up, and when my mum and dad got divorced it was tough, hence why I moved away in the end, because I just couldn’t face it anymore.

I now feel the same… driven away.

This may be hard for people to read, perhaps because people can go into denial and pass the buck, but at the end of the day, why should I be given emotional black mail when if the tables were turned I would never dream of reacting the same.

Not one person can really get to grips with how another person is feeling only they know and judging other people is a no no in my book.

Just because it is something they wouldn’t do doesn’t make it wrong, so stop judging, stop making other people feel guilty and let people bring up their children as they wish, and stop the pressure and the guilt tripping, when we all know how hard it can be, to be a parent.

Many thanks for reading,

 

Carrie X

 

 

 

How to support your kids through a marriage break up

Free Arguing Silhouette, Download Free Clip Art, Free Clip Art on ...

Hello and welcome to another parenting a blog.

Recently my husband and I have split up, and it hasn’t ended well, because a lot of things have been going on, and as always there are always those people who take sides and blame you.

They do this without them knowing the full story and jumping to conclusions.

A marriage breakup is caused by both parties and isn’t one sided. The father of my son has betrayed me and it has been tough, as now his dad sees him every weekend.

This blog is How to support your kids through a marriage break up. Don’t slag each other off in front of your child, and speak to each other in private.

At the moment I am in the place where I am unable to face my ex-husband because of what has been going on, which I can not proof, but at the same time respecting him being that he is still Henry’s father.

So keep it civil as much as possible and used delegating duties like my mum who is taking Henry over to see his dad, or his dad will pick him up.

Let the child choose who they wish to be with and don’t hold a grudge because of it. The child’s interest should come first and just let them see that you will support their needs as much as possible.

Ignore third parties, but do talk to someone yourself, because as parents and adults we need support too, and marriage break ups effects everyone.

The time it will be tough will be on seasonal holidays, but I know we will get through it and that, Henry may need to change schools, but that is up in the air at the moment and it important to concentrate on the now.

So remember when there is a marriage break up to look after your kids and talk to them about it too.

Many thanks for reading,

 

Carrie X

 

Teaching kids to read

Reading Books For Kids Clipart

Hello and welcome to another blog. Today I am talking about Teaching Kids to Read, because I think it an important skill to teach.

They need to learn to read for their own wellbeing, and so it is important children read 3-4 times a week, to understand words and their meaning.

  • Henry loves a good book and so do I. To begin try simple stories and rhymes, and books with just pictures without the words, and go over what they think is happening in each picture.

The one thing reading a book used to do, was calm Henry down, because when he was younger would often be quite grumpy after his nap in the afternoon, and it took reading a book calmly and softly, with music, to calmed him, and he would be happy again.

  • One way of getting Henry to identify words with sounds and pictures, was by using flashcards aswell as books.

Learning a word is one thing, but knowing what it means is another.

Henry knew from me reading to him what simple words like “Lunch” meant “Come here”, and getting him to read from an early age has really made huge difference. I find it helps with pronunciation, writing and they becoming more engaging.

  • Practicing reading by using Phonics books. Henry’s school has provided him with a couple of these books and what they do is help with the sound of the word.

Example: C__U__P

  • Use wall charts with words, letters, numbers and pictures. Great investment and Henry uses these a lot when learning at home, to help identify words and what they mean.

Please check this link for an example:

The one thing Henry would do is jump words in sentences so the next tip is,

  • Get them to say a sentence which they are stuck on a few times before moving on, and break it down for them. Doing the phonic books are great for this and then they will become fluent in reading those books
  • Let them choose a story from their collection, and to help do a silly voice or accent to help keep them engaged and get them to read a few larger sentences in the book aswell
  • Invest in a Easel a great tool to put up words, and the one thing we did was practice a word a day, and what it meant.
  • Use seasonal celebrations to help with their  reading, so read an easter book or a book about Christmas. Helps keep their momentum to read at a high, and Henry will often just pick up a book now and try and read it himself.

So I hope you are coping okay with this Lockdown, it can be boring even though yes it is important, but doing different activities like reading, can help break down the day.

Many thanks for reading,

 

Carrie X

 

 

 

 

 

Working from home as a parent

mum working from home with child

As a working mum it can be tricky to juggle everything at once but we still try to do it as much as possible.

At the moment we have no choice appart from those who work at Supermarkets, certain TV programmes and those who work for the NHS.

So how do you work from home as a parent,

  1. Create a new schedule for yourself and for your children. This will include breakfast, work time, playtime, housework, lunch, dinner and quiet time, which I would always recommend
  2. Listen to an audio book together and include story time into your schedule, and would recommend you do one for the day, week and the month
  3. Be creative. So get all your craft tools and paints and create hand prints, do face painting, footprints and make some cards to send to love ones and friends who you are unable to see at the moment, due to the Lockdown
  4. Break your work up into chunks of time, so for example I set 2 hours in the morning and 2 hours in the evening
  5. Remember to take breaks if you work all through out the day, as you can burn yourself out if you don’t
  6. Delegate your work load and if it is posting out documents why not get your kids involved. I helped my mum recently as she is working from home with sending out some gift cards to parents to pay for free meals
  7. If something isn’t urgent then set it aside for another day, but still schedule in with a deadline date
  8. Prioritize your workload, so put in what is more urgent or circle each item on the list that must be completed first, and get your kids involved.
  9. Set up a corner or table so you have your work together and all the activities like drawing, painting or reading out ready so they can sit with you whilst you work
  10. Brain dump the day before of everything you need to do and schedule it in

So lets all pray that this Pandemic goes so we can get back to normal, but I hope you find these tips helpful. Remember to follow me on this site if you would like to see more of my blogs I post on a weekly basis, and comment below of what tips you have of working at home.

Many thanks for reading,

 

Carrie X

Getting your kids to tidy up

Image result for free images getting kids to tidy up

If you are off school and taking government measures to do social distancing and in self isolation and you are stuck indoors, then why not try getting your kids to tidy up.

This is the perfect opportunity and in fact this blog was inspired by my son who on his own accord began to tidy away mine and his dad’s clothes away, not in the right place mind you, but he still managed to tidy a chunk away.

Why not get a load of bins and put them in places around the house and have all the kids in your household have a sort out in their bedrooms, kitchen supervised, bathroom and sort through their bath toys for example and make a day of it.

Use it to go through their toys and have a good deep clean of items. Working in a nursery setting it is surprising how so many items like kids toys can accumulate so many germs.

Have them label the bins and have once all is cleaned sort some toys out for donating.

Why not give them a chore chart and make a game of how many items they can pick up in a minute or do within 10 minute intervals, or hide items around the home for them to find and then they have to find the objects home.

This teaches kids about observation, decision making and being organized.

The more we encourage our kids to be tidy up the more they are likely to follow suit and continue on tidying up their toys rather living in a chaotic mess which can happen with children.

Please let me know what you are doing whilst practicing social distancing and if you have been struck by the  Coronovirus then I hope you do get better soon.

You can keep up to date with all my blogs on  WordPress.com by following me and all my posts will be up on my network site:

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Many thanks for reading,

 

Carrie X

 

 

5 Parental Strategies

 

Hi everyone and welcome to another blogpost. Today I m sharing some 5 Parental Strategies to help you with building your child’s growth and development and relationship:

  1. Allow them to make good choices in life
  2. Be calm and patient
  3. Be clear and precise
  4. Always reach their level to make eye contact
  5. Be honest but allow them to use their imagination

It is always good to set boundaries but  I am a great believer of learning through play and would often let Henry pretend now when plays football to do the commentary as it is good for words and communication.

When doing homework and chores, make it as fun as possible otherwise they will get bored.

Playing games like myself and my friends did, using the archers in the estate where we lived as houses, you could help the kids to build some Lego and do pretend play. It is all part of learning and a great for them to have interaction with you and their siblings.

Strategies help set boundaries for you and them. Please comment below of any further strategies you may have.

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Many thanks for reading,

 

Carrie X

 

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5 Half Term Hacks

image for Parental hacks categoryHi all so in today’s post I wanted to share some hacks. I love a good hack and in today’s post I am going to share 5 Half Term Hacks

  1. Have all activities laid out the night before, easy for them to reach like books and homework
  2. Have their clothes laid out and shoes by the door with coats, scarves and hats
  3. Lay out chore charts on the table which they can mark off with stickers. You can get some great chore charts from stores such as Poundland (please see link) or make your own https://www.poundland.co.uk/ 
  4. Use a kids bucket when not used in the summer as extra storage I use my son’s in the kitchen at the moment for my cleaning items in the kitchen
  5. Hang their dirty wellies on clothes hooks once cleaned and washed

Half term can be tricky, but fun too and I will post more about Half term in my next post, but until then many thanks for reading.

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Have a wonderful evening and rest of the week

 

Carrie X

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Half term tears and tantrums

Image I took driving around Richmond Park

Hi all yes it is half term and with the weather like it is, it is hard to know what to do.

We have had a few tears and tantrums whilst having a coffee in Richmond Park, which is one of Britain’s biggest parks and you can see some of London’s buildings from there too. Great place for kids to play some rugby or football or have a run around and get in touch with nature.

Don’t forget there are other national parks in and around London and farms, such Hobbledown and Bocketts Farm or even London Zoo.

Doing time out and getting Henry to sit down and think about his behaviour seems to be doing the trick at the moment when it comes to tears and tantrums, and the other thing we have been disciplined in doing is making sure he does his homework from school.

This is consisting of doing some reading, writing, activities like playing with Lego to get Henry to use his hands more and get in touch with his hand motor skills and playing games like hungry frogs.

I think keeping a routine during the school holidays to be tricky but for us routine works better and it is good to get out earlier in the day rather than later as they can become lethargic and fatigued later on, and this can lead to Henry kicking off.

The other great things to do during half term is to get them to do is to spend the time to grow their independence, for example if they can’t get dressed themselves yet start getting them to do it now, because there is no rush and gets them into a more of a routine when they go back to school or nursery.

I also like the Soft Play activity rooms for Henry we have a few near us in the Rainbow Leisure centre and Leatherhead Leisure Centre, There is the Soft Play in the Once Upon A Time Cafe but this is more for smaller kids.

So what kind of things do you do during half term I’d love to hear please get in touch by commenting below.

Please remember you can keep up to date with my blogs by following me on WordPress.com

please see my other sites too:

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Many thanks for reading,

 

Carrie X

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Teaching music to children

Image result for free cartoon images teaching kids music

The one thing myself, my son’s dad and our son loves is music and is a great way to teach children about sounds and words, along with rhythm and singing, using their voices and the sight and hearing.

I love that my son and I will often get up and dance and was one thing he found soothing, when he would have a tantrum or a meltdown.

I would encourage all parents to use music to help their children and spend some time bonding through music. Write a song together.

I loved my keyboard as a kid and do you remember your first record?

I do it was Mirror Mirror by Dollar. I even remember my first record player it was pink and I would spend hours playing my records.

I live my life through music and it good to look back on photos and help your child create their own play list or make a special family CD.

Musical instruments are not expensive and there are many kids ones out there on the market to encourage them to play and create sounds and practice making sounds and you can do this to help with vocabulary by playing to the beat of the word.

The one club I would encourage mums with smaller babies to go to is Monkey Music, as it teaches children about just that.

So lets kick our shoes off and hit those sounds out.

You can keep up to date with all my blogs by following this blog and my others on WordPress.com see links to my other sites below:

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Many thanks for reading,

 

Carrie X

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A CHURCH SERVICE THAT BLEW MY MIND AND HOW DIFFERENT THIS WAS FROM WHEN I WAS AT SCHOOL

THIS IS THE SECOND BLOG OF BLOGMAS DAY 12!

I did not plan to write this, but I had to. As soon as I went into that church today I felt I needed to write about it, because it literally BLEW ME AWAY!

I am not allowed to share any videos or pictures to protect the school and children, I just wanted to tell the world how amazing it was.

As soon as I got into that church I could hear amazing singing. I thought it was from a CD that was being played, but hearing the vicar speak opened my eyes to the fact that it was in fact the children. As soon as they got into the church they sprung into song and it was like being in heaven, and what I imagine heaven to sound like, it was that good.

I remember the church services from when I was a kid, they were fun and enjoyable as I got to participate in a few, mainly Primary school, by playing the recorder, singing in the choir or even playing a part in the nativity play, but we relied on hymn sheets and books, often getting the words wrong and only a few would sing.

Looking back, now I am in my 40’s being at the school church services were important to me. Even after I had my heart operation as a child, I have a hole in the heart, I still made sure I attended the school services especially at Christmas. I remember feeling sad and disappointed for not being part of it that year and couldn’t wait to join in again. It was the year where I finally got the part I wanted. To be the Shepherd, I have no idea why, but I did and so when I couldn’t take part that year I remember feeling like I had “Lost my chance”.

I remember having the hymn book often being on the wrong page and not knowing all the words, and miming because I was often too self conscious to sing out loud, but today it was so different.

At Henry’s school church service today it was all about the children, which school should be about, because school wouldn’t be a school without them, and they took charge of that service today. The vicar did say a few words and read a sermon, but most of it was about the children, and when they sang and had the words of the songs on the TV screens, and watching and observing the children I was totally amazed. Not one of them had looked at those screens and still sang the songs like they had been singing them all their lives and for years, and it touched me from my head to my toes and I had to at one point hold back the tears.

It BLEW ME AWAY and beat Songs of Praise out of the window. After seeing this and being there today, I thought afterwards they should do a school songs of Praise or even be in the charts. I could have listened to these children all day long, it was so wonderful and magical, that all the unhappiness I felt today, as yesterday did not go well for me at all, completely disappeared.

It also made me see that my own prayers were answered today. I understand that everyone has different beliefs, but I do think especially after today that there is someone out there looking after us all, including me.

I couldn’t find my son’s reins this morning and last night. I looked everywhere and was panicking slightly. However I had to admit defeat “They were gone” so I thought okay, I am off today and free, so I’ll go with him. I am so glad I did and I can’t help think that this was fate, as far as I am concerned and God or someone had my back, because if I had found those reins I would not have seen that today and I did.

I think it was someone showing me that however tough yesterday was or this morning was “You are going to be fine and there are still some wonderful things that can make you happy in this world” and often it is something out of the blue, or right on your doorstep.

I am even going to email the school to tell them because I want to let them know that those children were ASTONISHINGLY BRILLIANT AND TRULY OUT OF THIS WORLD!

The other thing was, they had the older children help the younger children by holding hands to and from the church. What a lesson that is to them, and they will gain so much from that, that I am not sure that even the teachers, helpers or parents even know how much this is a massive life lesson to them. They are going to benefit so much from that. They would have never dreamed of doing this at my Primary school. When I was a kid I was bullied by the older kids and they had to separate the older children from the younger ones, and keep the gates locked and I dreaded some of the days at school.

Henry loves going to school and the kids are so respectful, even when some of the older children jumped ahead, as soon as a teacher told them to come back, they did without arguing or kicking off and we all made it back to the school without a fuss.

So if your child has a church service this year and you have the chance to go, then after today, if it is anything like today I would say go, because you will be as astonished and blown away like I was today.

If you would like to see my previous post for today, then please visit the site via this link below:

https://everydaylivingandlifestyle.wordpress.com/

You can also check out my other sites too for posts this year:

https://www.carriesrealworld.com/

https://everyonecanbuildacastle.com/

https://theparentingadventuresthebirthofmyson.wordpress.com

https://sportsandfitnesspassion.wordpress.com/

If you have stories of your child’s church service then please share if you wish.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

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