Not normally a place I’d be, sitting at my desk on a Saturday starting a new blog. usually I am spending time with my son, because he wants my attention a lot so it can be impossible, but I like to have that time too. Saturday’s is usually day off, but had to write this blog because spending time with my son inspires me to write these blogs. Being a mum it is important that he is happy and has a good wellbeing.
First tips# Look after your own happiness and wellbeing.
You need to spend time working on your own happiness and wellbeing as things in life can get us down, and so spend time going through as a parent of what is getting you down.
I am not saying you have to hide your emotions but use those hard times to push you forward. Believe in yourself and tell yourself “I am worth being happy” and this will help you to help your kids and talk. This is so important because bottling up your emotions can lead you into a downward spiral.
Second tip# Teach your kids about boundaries for themselves and other children
The area that we have been installing in our son is to respect personal space, and about boundaries to help him build good relationships and how to communicate, but he is loving and rarely lashes out, but some kids like adults like to be hugged or kissed. He did as a toddler would pinch and bite as he began nursery and school, but has stopped that. He can get stroppy if is playing a game and loses, but has learned and he just out of the blue that “It isn’t about winning but having fun”. This is still a working process and he does have his own boundaries. Example: When he is eating he likes his own space and for example: When he is eating his dinner likes to get on with it, and be left alone. Most of the time though is very friendly, but if another child doesn’t want a hug then we are teaching him to respect that child but still be friendly but keeping some distance apart.
This means allowing him to interact. Today it was my nieces birthday and he has been fine, the only thing was he kept wanting to see my brothers, sister in-law and nieces cat who is very timid and can scratch.
Yet he did obey and played nicely with the other children and before I would be hanging around him, but got into just allowing him to play and there were other families there and so this helped, but he wasn’t defiant and had a really good day.
Third tip# Involve them in decisions for example what we are going to do each day.
When we plan to go out I will make sure he is involved and have him tell me what he’d like to do and if it is possible we will do it, within reason,. and I say that because when we have gotten the train from London Waterloo he will see a train going to Winchester, and yes we can go there but is a distance and normally later in the day for us to visit. However I have written this place down and to see if we can go there by train in the summer holidays.
Fourth tip# Create some quiet time
Henry when he wakes up is full of energy and he pulls me out of bed to get up. He is an early bird and wants to play with his balloon, watch his tablet and will want breakfast. I however I like a bit of peace so I like to have a peaceful morning whilst he is having his breakfast have my morning cup of tea, and I often think I will watch a bit of youtube but this just makes me sleepy so I will watch a bit of quiet TV and do this as Henry will sit down quietly and eat his breakfast.
Set the tone, as often kids when they see you chilling will do the same. Now this is not all the time, but will take it in when we do as it is great way of building our relationship and I like to take my time and this helps us both in getting ready for the day.
When travelling we will be nice and peaceful, and avoid rushing, but taking it all in.
Then get ready at the same time for bed in the evening.
It is getting enough rest to help kick start our days we spend together. I want my son to be happy and excited about each day and will listen to him when he is unhappy and why. At the moment he will say things if he doesn’t want to do something and then start to play up0 and so having quiet time allows him to calm down and when he has had his bath I have sat with him on the toilet with seat down of course but just chilling and a bath or showers for kids, works wonders.
So I hope this blog helps you and thanks to those whose are following me it means a lot.
This morning it took me a while to start the day on a happy note, I was super grumpy which I think was because of my Menstrual Cycle, and Henry wanted to crack his own egg for breakfast and it went everywhere, but was cleaned up but then he began mucking about and I told him off and did raise my voice which I hate doing, and felt terrible. Kids test us and he did get upset, but I didn’t want egg everywhere and he nearly knocked his scrambled egg with toast off his plate.
I love my son out of this world but I feel often that I am still battling with the unknown, and finding certain situations tough. My son does have real ADHD, and so getting him to sit still can be a task, and eating his breakfast without watching his tablet.
I do give in to make life easier but is that wrong? Should I be a lot harder on him?
We have a lot of fun together and once I came alive everything was good again
Kids test your patience and I know I am not the only mum who almost had egg everywhere, it just cleaning up and I am not a fan of cleaning, but if he had yelled at me like I did to him, I would have told him off for that so not right that I do it and so I need to not get worked up but stay calm.
It takes me a lot to shout but still not an excuse and so I apologised and gave him a hug and a kiss and moved on.
I don’t like to be yelled because it makes me think, “Well I won’t talk to you anymore”, there is never a positive. If he did put his egg everywhere I would have wiped it up and made it again, so it wasn’t really now looking from the outside of this morning , a big deal.
He still ate his breakfast and enjoyed it, he still got dressed, I got his lunch ready for today along with his bag and I did my errands, and packing, as my husband is picking us up to stay in Epsom for a few days as it is my husband’s birthday, and tidied up.
At the moment he moans a lot and is challenging as he didn’t want to go to his holiday club this morning but when he didn’t go he would see the children playing and want to join in and it helps limit his time watching his tablet. Kids need fresh air, and do different activities, and be with other kids and play new and different games and so we go on walks, train journeys and buses, visiting different places local to us and exploring. I do allow him to choose what he’d like to do within reason, but being extra hard to stop the moaning because it can be too much. We play games like matching pairs, that he loved since a baby, snakes and ladders. bowls, tennis, cricket, football and darts, so quite a lot, and hide and seek, but he will tell me where he is, so still learning this one. Yet he will still moan.
I will stop and say “Ok then we won’t play on and his line at the moment, “I will get my own one” and I reply “That is your one so are we going to play or not?”.
I chat with him but not often sure if he is taking it in, but then surprises me. Like when we went out and his crossed the road on his own and safely so he is understanding about these important things, but then will be defiant, but all kids are and kids will put up their guard, and like time and space to understand why he needs to dress himself and go to the toilet without needing assistance, and chop his own food. He will often say “I don’t want to do it myself”, at which I say “Well your not a baby anymore” as he doesn’t like to being called Baba any more and so I will ask “Are you a big boy now?” and he will say yeah and with reductants will do it.
I see Henry’s moaning a phase, like biting his hand which he used to do when he was unhappy or feeling frustrated when he couldn’t properly communicate correctly, or bash his own head and putting his hand down the toilet and wetting, so know that the way my son feels at the moment will change and stop myself from moaning too.
Yes this is the last week before it is half term again and the last bank holiday of May and so it is time to get planning of what to do.
My son will be going to a holiday club for two days, and then it is planning for Thursday and Friday. It is only for a week and it is also my husbands (my sons dad) birthday along with my nieces as they share the same day. So do have things planned.
I will be blogging,.and I hope the weather is good. There are some train strikes planned and so it is looking at doing something local, or that you can get to without the train. If you drive and it is a place that offers parking then could be an option, like swimming. I take my son to Better Gyms as you don’t have to be a member and pay as you go.
You can’t book too far in advance for swimming but nearer the day and it is the Swim For All that I choose, so you don’t need a membership and is the Rainbow Leisure Centre Better Gym in Epsom. They have a soft play there too. The spaces can go quickly for swimming so check the start of the week to book and the same for soft play, as it can get fully booked.
Then there is the weather. Do check the forecast and take coats or umbrellas depending on the temperature outside.
Waterproofs and wellies may be needed depending where you are going, so check along with if they do food. Today Henry went to the Sealife Centre in Brighton. and the school offered a packed lunch, but I opted to make one for him.
Bring drinks and change of clothing. Henry is getting better at going to the toilet as he would leave it to the last minute, but like today bought a spare pair of pants with me just in case and suncream.
Today many of the kids had sun hats and recommended if it is hot, and visiting the Sealife centre today was good. I used to work for Merlin and would make bookings for that attraction, so was good to visit and would recommend. It is situated right by the sea and has a pebble beach. I would like to visit it again, so going to add this to my plans for the School Summer holidays in August.
I love the English coast and as a kid we would go to Clacton, where they had a holiday camp and had some brilliant holidays, and if you can drive then you can still go and avoid the train, and you can always get a coach. This is how we would go to Clacton, and it a long way, but I wasn’t very good on coaches as a kid as I got travel sickness.
Do what works for your family and if you are going to an Attraction such as Chessington World of Adventures, there are buses that go there from Kingston and from my memory booking tickets for Alton Towers, they too has buses that went there, but ask before you go. and you can drive there as there are parking, but you do have to pay for this on some attractions.
Many places like Wimbledon Park will have a funfair during school holidays in the UK, which is free to enter, but to go on the rides you have to buy tokens. They often do food too and toilets.
I hope this gives you some ideas and tips, and I really hope you have a good rest of this school week and then it is the last term for the school year. UK from September to July.
Well this blog I came up with because being a parent I often wonder how much my son takes in and I watch my actions because Kids can copy and so I stop myself from swearing, being cross and my fear.
Photo at Gravity in Wandsworth
Yet my son amazes me all the time watching him grow from a baby to a child, from being a child to one day being a man. I was going to write on my other blog about fashion (https://carriesversatilefashion.com) but I had to write this blog first, because I often wonder because my son has ADHD and Autism, what he actually learning and yesterday we were off to his Swimming lesson and that he will have a different teacher, his usual teacher couldn’t do the lesson, and for him to listen because like me unfortunately can switch off, and he not being prompted said “Its not always about winning but having fun” and my mum and I were like, “Where did that come from?”. We weren’t saying him to win and wish I could remember the full conversati8on, but just amazed, and made us see that he is taking in a lot more than he allows us to see and at the beginning of the lesson he started do the breast stroke on his own and again didn’t realise he can do that. He did have a term during this year of swimming lessons, but because they have to let other kids have lessons he couldn’t continue the lessons on. He also missed a few classes, due to him being unwell and last week it was my nieces birthday party, so was a few weeks since he last had lessons. At the Ninja Warrior Adventure park, and I did write about this in my last blog, and he beat the wall and climbed and done it four times, when he was very worried about climbing frames. Not sure why, we are still working on that, but seeing him do this is rewarding and with the help from others, something has clicked in.
He can now cross the road on his own when at one time he would run off and once when were looking in a charity shop, he ran out towards the road and it was hard to take him out, because of that.
This is not to say I am wonder mum, and I have it all sussed out because trust me I don’t and has been the help and support of family, Including his dad, other mums/friends, but often I would do it solo and question my parenting skills. I have struggled, there are mums who may have had a different experience, but to help other parents it is important to be honest and I still make mistakes like yesterday I had my jeans on back to front. I took him swimming a few weeks ago and forgot to bring his towel, but thankfully they had paper towels, so I used them. We are human, but he still got dry and has made me make extra effort to remember his towel.
He will correct me when talking and he took a really photo with my phone. I know this isn’t climbing a mountain, but its the little bits for me that is rewarding to me as a parent.
My Niece did a long walk for her DV at her school, my other niece wrote a poem that was published and my youngest niece did a performance as she does Drama Classes, and has sung to me of songs she has created and seeing them bloom like this makes me see that children can do amazing things and I do doubt my son at times. I feel the guilt as I write that, and is an area I need to stop. My son can talk for himself and he can make decisions of his own, and so with the things I have seen from him and other kids I know, makes me see that kids should never be underestimated and I need to get out of the habit of doing so.
I am learning, and I remember a mum I worked with when I did finance, I worked within the finance of an Advertising Company, called Grey Advertising and she fell down the stairs and really hurt herself and it was her daughter who had phoned for an ambulance and she wasn’t an older child but of a young age and it makes my take a step back.
Kids know more than what they let on and can be responsible and can someone in a dangerous situation. I wish they would have an Amazing child week and celebrate the amazing things that kids do. My son if he sees another child cry often want to go over to them to see if they are okay, but can stick up for himself too. So lets celebrate our kids successes and praise ourselves as parents too, as we don’t give ourselves enough credit.
Oh yes it is a tricky business. Now this is not to gloat as why would I do that? Henry when he was a baby would sleep well and we never had that many issues, and would sleep through the night, but he began to wake up super early, and I hoped this would change, but no.
When he would get sick he would often just want to sleep, and so he is pretty good but would need more comforting as when he would nap in the afternoon would wake up super grumpy and so would read to him which he found soothing or a song he liked at the time, Only You by The Flying Picketts and he would then be okay.
He would get overtired and so would begin to start fussing and chucking things, and when he was a lot younger would around 6pm be unsettled and want to be held, and so we created a ritual, so dimmed the lights, put the heating on, bath him and play lullaby music and blow bubbles but made it nice and peaceful, making sure he was well fed and was recommended this book, talking to a mum on the bus and worked like a treat.
We didn’t put him too early or too late, and weaning helped also, because we were able to cut down on milk and was a relief not doing a late feed, because he would be wide a week, so was good to just let him sleep.
Now he is 9 he will stay up a bit later, he goes to bed between 8:30 to 9:30, and so often I have to scrape him off from the sofa as he likes cuddles with me before bedtime , and he will go to the toilet, brush his teeth and then I will read a book and goes out like a light.
When they have so much energy kids they, which I didn’t know can have a energy spurt before bedtime and when you think they are tired they jump up and want to play with their balloon, play tennis or cricket, and I am like “No not now” so what I do to prevent this is make sure he has uses up all his energy by being super active and productive during the day and it is simply having a kick about as this helps me too to stay active or rugby, go for walks in the morning, do a bit of learning and do some activities in the day, like painting, gardening with my mum, last weekend we took him to the Ninja Warrior Adventure park in Guildford as it was my nieces birthday and Sunday we went to a local festive called Pub in the Park and so good, and I have filmed it so a weekend in a life coming soon on my Youtube channel: https://www.youtube.com/@typicallondongal
We have cut down on Screen time as this can have an affect and today I listened to a good podcast, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HVGlEU_ueAw she talks about cutting down on screen time and it has made a difference because he would rely on it and he can sleep for a good 6 to 9 hours all through the night now so yes worth trying.
Blackout curtains can help along with double glazing windows, and a bright light if they can’t sleep in darkness, a cuddly toy to give comfort and fresh bedding.
Then there is bed wetting. This has been a challenge and we have had some recent bedwetting issues, and as they grow it can continue to be a hurdle when it comes to bedtime. I do limit how much my son drinks in the evenings as he still has the odd accident, but is getting better.
I never knew that toilet training could take so long and he went on his first residential trip last month, but couldn’t stay over because of using toilet and because of him finding his way back to the pods they were staying in. He is soon to be going to his third school because his first one couldn’t meet with his learning difficulties and so was given a place at the school he is now, but they think that he needs to be in an even more of a specialised school and I am nervous about it. With toilet issue it is important that he has easy access to these facilities and can easily go without fuss. We do pack spare pants just in case but like I say things have begun to improve and he will not wait until the last minute which is what he was initially doing.
I do hope it doesn’t affect his development, and he does dream, and this has been a challenging in terms of bedtime as he will wake up startled some nights, and he talks in his sleep and make sure that he has enough air and is properly tucked in. I avoid snacks in the evening and make sure he has a good fulfilling dinner and he will have a bath or shower, with the occasional wash and this does help him settle and he will in part of the evening sit with us and have quiet time.
So I hope this helps you, thank you for liking my blogs on this site and for subscribing, it really means a lot and if you have topics regarding parenting that you’d like me to talk about then please leave a comment below.
There is nothing better than spending time with family and with working, school and chores you don’t always get that time. The place to start is meals, choose a day to have a meal together and plan in advance and do like a buffet style or a sit down meal, with drinks non alcoholic drinks for kids of course and drinks for the adults and the one thing I am looking forward to in the summer is having a BBQ and sitting in the sun, have a good chat and catching up if your kids no longer live at home with you or they are grown up an living in their own place.
Take a day trip to the seaside. I have an aunty and uncle who live in Selsey and so when we can we will go down there to visit and I love being by the sea, it makes me feel peaceful and calm. Of course it means driving or catching a train, if you don’t want to go abroad but can get discount travel cards , and when I lived in the South coast I had one and it saved me a lot of money when I would travel from London to a place called Bognor Regis and back, then me and my son’s dad had a one as a couple, because when Henry was a baby he could travel for free, and we’d travel to Southampton and Lincoln, so it made sense to have a travel discount card.
If you are a Eurovision fan then why not make it into a last minute party if you haven’t planned already and do cheese on toast with some mugs of tea and get the blankets out depending on how big your sofa is and camp out. Why not make it fun by having a pen and paper of how many points you’d give for each country and where union jack hats and flags or if you from another country do the same but of the country colours and flags. I remember when they used to show Miss World and I was staying at a friends house and we had paper and pen to mark who we thought should win, and would do this with my grandparents when they were alive when watching a TV show called Countdown.
Workout together to get fit. When we had the pandemic the Body Coach Joe Wicks did PE lessons getting kids to exercise and today I did a indoor walking workout on Youtube and was really good fun and my son would often join in with me and my son and I will spend time when he comes home from school play football or dance as often I will have the radio on or music playing from Youtube.
Spend time visiting a national park and gardens. We have often done this and there are many national parks in England like Kew Gardens and you do have to pay but they often have events going on there in the summer and great places to celebrate birthdays or any occasion and I am looking forward to having a picnic and spending time around nature. It is such good fun and somewhere different to go.
Visiting a Zoo is good fun and there are places like Chessington World of Adventures, but there are other type of Zoos like London Zoo and Battersea Park zoo and if it is not busy you can just turn up but it is less expensive if you book in advance and check out newspapers and cereals as often they will do deals.
I hope this gives you ideas as another half term is coming up and then it is the Summer Holidays so worth thinking about these ideas and have some good family fun.
Thank you for following me on this blog and so pleased that you like my blogs and I hope they are helping you. There is no manual when it comes to kids, and it can be demanding but enjoyable too. My son has such a personality that I do find it hard to tell him of sometimes because he does make me laugh.
With Henry he loves to make me laugh and he can get super hyperactive but just loves having fun and can be hard to get him to settle down. He does have ADHD and so it managing his concentration, and he can get over excited, but his laugh is infectious and is such a character.
I want to build his confidence in himself and encourage him to talk about where he has been and what we did and who we met, and it just helps with proper conversation.
I did write a blog a while ago talking about building kids social skills: Kids and Social skills
It is important because I don’t want Henry to feel self conscious about talking to others like I was, and encourage him to be able to have a good chat with someone, whether it be other children and adults.
Then there is playing games and sports. Today we for the first time this year played out in the garden, so tomorrow going to make sure I have better clothes on to play, as I had a jumper dress on and so need to wear something a bit more practical so if I get muddy I don’t care and helps to use up his energy. When a child still has loads of energy I find it is a lot trickier to have quiet time and settle in the evening, so being active in the morning, at school and early evening when it is still light outside can really help with that, and have a good sleep ready for the next day.
I have written a blog about building kids skills: Spending time with my son and building his skills and if they are interested in what you are doing then show them as one day they will need to (an example) cook for themselves and make their own meals and like cooking it can really help them be healthy and making good choices, when it comes to food.
These things are a way to build their memories . It will help with their conversations at school and talk about what he did and inspire other kids to do the same. Kids can learn a lot from others children so if you can have playdates or join a club of some kind can really help with that. I remember my friend Hayley who would have a tidy bedroom unlike mine and it encouraged me to tidy it up and riding a bike came from learning from the kids I played out with on the housing estate I grew up on.
My son learned from his friend Nell on riding his bike and that is where their social skills improve and the more interaction they have the better.
They also like repetitive learning I call it, where you have a structure that they do each day to develop their habits, and become normality like reading each day at the same time on the same day. Each Sunday when my son is back to school on the Monday do his homework and in the morning, we will also go for a walk each morning on a Sunday except of when he is unwell which happened recently, but then we had cuddle time watching the TV to wind down for the evening and my son still loves a story before bed and make sure in the mornings he and I have breakfast.
By doing these things it helps them to continue these habits on and important teach them to wake up properly in the mornings and be refilled with a good amount of energy. My son has lots so we will travel somewhere and explore. Often when we travel back by train we will sit on the platform to watch the trains before we leave the station and so having fun is important as well as life skills for him to see different things and meet other children.
Getting kids involved with everyday living will help them build their life and experiences. Making the most of each day and be fearless. I hate now that I am scared of heights because there was a time I wasn’t and yes, going on a rollercoaster can be dangerous but it can also be fun too, and would like to go a plane again and go and visit a country abroad and be my sons first trip on a plane so going to save money to do that and go on more train rides, to visit different places in the UK.
So lets see if that happens. If you have any tips or there are topics about parenting you’d like me to write about then please leave a comment below.
Yes it is 3 days until the Coronation and we officially have a King now in England and I will be watching as it may only happen once in my life time who knows and many schools will be celebrating beforehand at school. At my sons current school, as we have just found out that he will be going to a new school in September because he is behind at school and will save that dilemma we are having in a separate blog, but focusing on the Coronation my sons school are having a picnic for it. The school has asked to help by giving the kids a blanket for it.
He has to wear something blue, white or red for the occasion and there are many street parties even though it looks like the weather won’t be so good, but still great to celebrate and so if you not going to not have a street party, you can still get some teas and cakes to celebrate indoors, with flags to decorate for it and today my son came home with a card he made for the coronation, so get your kids to make some decorations.
The Works have a good range of crafts and Hobby Craft if you live near one, and be as crazy as you like.
If you know how to face paint, why not face paint your kids faces if they want to and why not some bracelets and hair bands.
I want some memorabilia to keep and will be wearing the colours, and getting into the spirit of it, and yes gonna bring over my London mug with saucer to drink some tea and would like to get a bit of decoration to put on my windowsill in my room, so will be doing last minute shopping and it is good to see the city London decorated.
So I really hope the day goes well and you have a good celebration if you want to that is.
I am not a healthcare worker or have medical training but a mum who have to learn a lot and thought that being a mum would be a natural adjustment. Well looking back it was a massive change and I did try to prepare myself and be ready but then my son arrived early and became traumatic. However I naturally was in love and he is my world, that I want to share things that I have learned and still learning.
The one thing I like is Quiet time. I like as soon as it is 6pm putting on my pyjamas and get my son showered and ready for bedtime and because he wasn’t well last week got a blanket and sat on the sofa watching a bit of TV and it really helped my son and I have a good sleep.
There are steps you can take. Choose a time where all your kids can wind down and everyone get ready for bed, or in the mornings too. I don’t do anything until I have had my first cup of tea and Henry has had his breakfast.
Set the tone and set the scene. I do this when creating a new book, but can help with everyday living too and do some reading or do a puzzle that all the family can do. Just having time away from their laptops and tablets, and just spend time just being with your kids and work together to tidy for the day to then have all settled down time to rest and recharge, and spending some as a family.
Have everyone in matching pyjamas. It doesn’t have to be at Christmas or Easter but a weekly or daily thing and plan the TV you going to watch so you can enjoy. Make hot chocolates and why not when it begins to get warmer sit out int he garden with candles and sharing what each person did that day and melting marshmallows over a fire, obviously in a safe place and tell each other stories.
Have time pampering evening. I know this would not interest my son because he will protest that he doesn’t want a shower or a bath, but he does and actually once the moaning has finished, he actually likes it, and good to all freshen up and be ready to go to bed and one thing I liked as a kid was have tea later in the evening. We mainly did this on Sundays after it was a long after having a roast dinner and watch some good old fashioned TV or listen to music and have quiet music playing in the background whilst you read a book.
Bring your past life back that you enjoyed and enjoy with your kids. I like Sunday gatherings or Saturday with family and would love for him to have a sleep over when he is older because still having bed wetting a few times. I loved sleepovers as a kid and can be really good fun. We’d watch horror films. Now I know some may not want to do that, but just being with friends relaxing with everyone in their night gear, can be such fun and enjoy. Why not order or make pizzas and some ice cream, just building time to work towards bedtime and can prevent tantrums when it comes to getting your kids to bed.
Today I had to go and pick my son up early from school as he is not very well and so means that I will have to change my plans, but that is okay kids get sick however much we try and avoid it and kids are our main priority. I am never going to put my blogs or writing first over my son, but around him.
Children will get sick however much we try to prevent our kids from being unwell and actually editing this blog was good to take a break from my laptop and took a notebook to make notes for my blogs and books. There is always a way to work around our kids, even if it is for 10 minutes. My son often wants my full attention so I will wait to bed time to write.
When our children get sick it can cause anxiety as a parent as often I fear the worst but that is not a bad thing, because it means you care and makes you to take action, and I did google, which many say you shouldn’t, and I try not to, but the more I was telling myself no, I had to, just to make sure.
I began this blog on the Wednesday and since then touch wood my son is a lot better. I’m not sure of what it was but there are when kids going to school bugs going around and it can be from someone in the street. Often you don’t ever know but get prepared should your kid get sick is the key to helping them to get better.
I do store Calpol and Calcough, with Vapor Rub, and don’t use straight away but have them on hand as they do help. Some may argue and I am never reckless when it comes to medicines but like on Saturday night he had a coughing fit and when Henry my son gets a cold he will instantly get a nasty cough. I also have a thermometer thanks to my mother as I often forget but is a must for me and since he was born I have had one.
I make sure he doesn’t touch any other child when sick and make sure he is fully better, like to day we went to home bargains and he saw a baby girl whilst we waited for my mum and step dad and wanted to touch her sweetly but pulled him away. You can’t cocoon them because my son still wants to be about to get out, but just play in the garden or in the playground we have near by when there is no other kids, but can be tricky especially when you have more than one child.
Do you best that is what I’d say and go by the guidelines like making sure each child when they go to the toilet wash their hands and before they touch food and sneeze using the inside of their elbow.
When it comes to kids being sick you aren’t allowed back to school for 48 hours and so Henry had the rest of the week off. We wondered if it was due to phlegm that he was sick but then he had a bad tummy so not so sure so it is good to take precautions and anything that had sick on do a high temperature wash on clothes or some if not may need to be thrown away and replaced.
Make sure items are washed like baby plates and if your child is under 6 months old and no I am not a doctor so I am not taking place of a medical person who is, but is from what have experienced, that all items like bottles, soothers and breast pumps are sterilised.
Do contact your doctor or health visitor if you are worried, as if there cough continues for more than a week, and they begin to bring up Mucus they may need antibiotics and have an infection of some sort and they not a energetic as they usually are and have a high temperature seek medical attention and do go to A and E, especially if they develop a rash that won’t fade or they have terrible diarrhea.
There are some good indoor activities you can do whilst they are sick. Like me and Henry played Bowls and he has this painting book. where all you need is water and a brush and it changes colour in the image they are painting. We cuddle up on the sofa with a blanket and watched the snooker which I haven’t watched for years and did some reading and learning at home, like my mum bought my son a maths book and did this, this morning.
I hope that I have not scared you, just supporting you because often we can feel if we are doing the right thing when it comes to our kids and are sick, but do what you feel right and chat with other mums, that has helped me a lot.
Thank you for the follows and that you have liked my content on this blog and with the warmer growing near it is time to get outdoors, and make sure you have suncream and stay hydrated.
There are many things that I like to share on this channel, and as I write this blog as I am listen to a Podcast called Happy Mum Happy Baby, and inspired me to write this blog check it out via this link https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qNzdqv0FFKI
It also inspired me today because I went for a interview as I am looking to work outside and do Childcare work as I want to help other parents, not just via this blog but face to face too, but it is tricky because I need to work around school hours and I know there are many parents in the same boat as me and my husband (my son’s dad), works so we have to manage it so he gets to work on time and I am there in Epsom, as I travel from Wimbledon at the moment each day, for when my son comes home from school.
You have to do what you can. but I feel often you can’t win as a parent as you do have to do what works around your children, and parents have had to give up work because they can’t afford childcare to do so and becomes expensive and I don’t want to miss out on spending time with my son, so it is tricky.
I have watched many debates on TV, who remember Kilroy, heard people say you should be staying at home to look after your child or you need to work instead of living on benefits, and feel we’re getting it wrong, which is not true. Ok so it was up to us to want to be parents and we made that choice, but we are produced to produce, not saying that people who don’t want children are wrong, not at all, its just fact. It’s is up to personal choice and I knew I always wanted to have children, and shouldn’t feel guilty in wanting that, it’s part of the reproductive system and why we grow to carry a child even when you don’t want to and so we shouldn’t be hearing “Your getting wrong” it is up to what works for your family. Money isn’t evil it is what we need to survive and I am building other income streams, such as I write books and sell on amazon and want to build my own second hand shop online, and I am not doing all that because of the money but because I enjoy writing and want to be making a living in the books and selling other products of my own and teach others to do the same.
We need to look after ourselves and working ourselves to the bone is not, but doesn’t mean we have to drop everything but have a balance and do what financially will make you happy and ignore judgement, you are your own person and do what you know will work not by somebody’s else’s choice.
Life is about living and lets work together to develop ourselves and build our learning as we parent our children and as said you are not on your own, and I’d like for you share your opinion on this. Please leave do so by adding a comment below.
It is so important like all parents want, the best for their child and have a good relationship and gaining trust, because children will have emotions and feelings which as a parent we need to respect, and so doing different activities can help with that.
Took Henry to the Cinemas for the first time during the holidays and a great way to spend time together
Playing games that is not a competition but that you can do together. My son loves spending time with me and my mum playing Lingo. This is game show on TV, but you can download the APP which is free and helps with their knowledge of different words and spelling, and often we, including my step dad will get involved.
Do the chores and dance around the house. I talk about this a lot because to help get my son ready for school I would often put on some music and dance before my son had to go to school and would often when cooking dinner would put some music on. I will sing to him but he tells me to be quiet when I try, and so don’t think mother (me) will be on X Factor or The Voice anytime soon, but some kids love it, and how me and Henry bonded was by sharing the love of dancing listening to some good music and as a kid myself it was a tradition at a kids birthday to play musical chairs or statues, and learned the times table via music. It is a cassette tape and using music to learn the times table.
Let them take the lead on some tasks. Now my son is getting independent, I will when shopping have him carry the trolley or put items into the trolley. Getting them involved is a great way to like shopping, as often as a kid I would play up, and Henry would often get upset when shopping, but now he is alright and be somewhat in charge so I allow him that freedom, and helps him be more responsible.
Get fit together. Last week me, my son was on his scooter and wanted to go by the river and then I began to run to keep up with him and really enjoyed it, so going to make it a weekly thing at the weekends, to take Henry on his scooter and I am going to put on my running clothes and run. Getting fit together helps with keeping it going and energize and enjoy the nature around you and just spending that time together helps me want to keep doing these type of things together, and is fun.
Use bath time to have a chat. When my son has had baths, I will sit on the toilet seat and sing or talk and because they are relaxed and so are you, it is good to catch up on their day and why not read to them too. Now he has a bath his dad who mainly does bath time will have him practice kicking his feet which was advised by his swimming teacher, and it can be such a lovely way to share the day and how they did at school. So would recommend.
Get ready for bed. Once my son has had his wash, bath or shower I also use this time to get ready for bed too. I will stay up a bit once he has gone to bed, but not all of the time, but make sure there isn’t too much light. It is good to have a good night sleep and wake up together in the morning, and have breakfast together and get ready for the day. I will leave my son to get dressed whilst I go upstairs to make the beds and do encourage my son to make his own bed and just sets the tone for the day ahead.
So today my son has gone back to school and will would like to reflect on them. I may do this as a video, but I will see.
Yes it will be time to return to the usual routine and that means travelling, making dinners for Henry and writing in the mornings, and in the evening and managing my content around all that and preparing my son for school, and the week my son goes back he will be going on a Residential trip with his class at school and so making sure he has everything he needs for that.
It is going to be checking transport and managing my time to make sure I check my emails and I am nervous always am, but that is because I want it to go well and everything goes to plan.
Thankfully my husband tends to wash his clothes for school and am grateful for that, and I will be making sure that I wash Henry’s bedding as it is hard to get these things done everyday and so I wash his bedding at the start of the week, Mondays and that he has completed his homework and written down what he has been learning whilst on half term and put it in his bag and folder for school to encourage him to share what he did during the school holidays and going to do a photo book to help and you can do this on google and is a great item to keep, and also getting him excited about seeing his school friends again, and this term he has a new teacher, he spends time in a different classroom and planning for when it comes the changing of the weather and that I have sunscreen for when we have warmer weather and be good to play out in the garden again after he has finished school and fit in some learning after school, and what he has not learned at school I have been teaching him at home, like today we learned about the Solar System, because on the news there will be astronauts going to get near to Jupitar and wanted my son to know about it as these things are historical and something that should be taught.
I will be recording this to go into his book so his teacher can see what he has been learning and continue to do this too and share the different the topics we have been teaching Henry, and his dad (my sons) dad put up a world map on the wall so he can learn about the world and different countries.
When it comes to kids it is knowing when to start and when they have had a different schedule to when they go back to school can be a huge adjustment still, and I mean for everyone.
It means setting the alarm again, if you haven’t done this throughout the half term, with my son who is an early bird, he never lays in but is awake early all the time and this can take its toll but I don’t set an alarm only when he goes to his holiday club called Youngstars, but whilst he at school I can take my time taking a shower and putting make up on, but I tend to feel a bit lost after the half term, and my son does get separation anxiety.
So yes time to get back and we have a few more days to still have of this half term fun, but then it is all systems go again and I bet the weather will be lovely which is typical but living in Britain you never know.
I did create a Easter printable but because it has been half term I couldn’t get it done on time so will save it, and I have found it hard to get things like that done. This is what inspired me to write this blog, because it is real life. I am never going to cover over the cracks, because it is hard to keep kids entertained especially for two weeks and there is another half term around June and then it is the summer holidays.
This is not to say that I don’t enjoy spending time with my son, I love him to bits and is my priority, it is just that its hard to plan when especially when it comes to money. There is travel and as always there are engineering works being done this Easter holiday and glad that we got things done in terms of travelling to places the first week as the second week it will be bus journeys and avoiding places that get busy, which living in the city is tricky.
So I check first of what is on locally and what new experiences we haven’t done or places locally that we haven’t visited, and can I get there by bus if I can’t use the trains.
I check the weather and what facilities they have. I make sure that my son and I have gone to the toilet in case these facilities are limited, and will bring snacks with me, but most museums have facilities inside, but buying food from them can be expensive so I will do a packed lunch and have dinner when we get home.
We was going to go to Battersea Park, and it completely free, they do have a Go Ape there, which you do have to book, and a zoo which you have to pay to see, but if you didn’t want to do that it is a still a great park to go to and plenty of places to sit in the sun with a picnic and can walk along by the river and they have really built it up with shops and restaurants and it just a pleasant area to go. I decided we will will do this in the second week and today go to a local park and wall along the river. Its jus nice to be outside, especially when it is sunny and warm.
Remember your sun cream when it starts to increase in temperature and plenty of water to hydrate.
I do plan ahead, and still learning to be save and budget better for these holidays, and mainly for when my son goes to a holiday club to Youngstars and set money aside for this, but currently budget per holiday, as it depends on how may days and weeks it is.
I used this holiday to get my son’s hair cut, buy new shoes for when he goes back school and trainers. I would suggests Clarks as a good place to get your child’s feet measured and to get my son’s hair cut there are, where I live in Wimbledon a few places we can go and you don’t need to book, and the price differs for the week and days, and already budgeted for that, but not for the holiday club so going to set a system to help myself on that, and set aside money for that, and I do have savings so thinking that I will be use this for that as haven’t been sure of what I want to use my savings for.
I do budget each week now that has helped and if I can pay for things with cash then I will, you can check online if a train stations has lifts and if they are working checking the different train lines and some trains depending on where you are travelling will have toilet facilities on them and not all stations in London have toilet facilities, and would say to invest in a portable changing mat.
If your kids are older and toilet trained but you fear accidents, there are portable potty’s you can buy and the one we had was flap packed, and easily to carry around. I do still take a change of clothes and wipes, of course not flushing down he toilet but in an appropriate bin.
I have been using the evenings to write my blogs and when my mum has been looking after him in the day and if you can get help and relatives offer to help you get errands done take them up on it. My son is now responsible enough to play whilst i have a shower but younger children when you have older children can be a juggling act, and so if you can hav support then never refuse.
I hope you have already had a good Easter holiday, and that it continues.
Yes so the Easter holidays are upon us and time to buy those chocolate eggs and baskets. I filmed a Sunday chat video on my Youtube channel talking about Easter and even though money may be tight you can still celebrate the holidays.
There will be a few days where my son is going t to a holiday club called Youngstars which was £49 for a full day, but not bad and they are brilliant and Henry misses the interaction of being around other children and then we are going to go up London to his favourite place London Waterloo and Swimming. We use Better gyms to go swimming as they do Swim for all sessions and can pay as you go. You can book and I would suggest you to do so, or if you are in another country and have access to a pool then use it, but of course it depends on the weather too.
Where I take Henry they have two indoor pools and he loves it, and they have a soft play section to where we can go after swimming, but going to see if I can book this as it is in another section in the Leisure Centre and does get full.
I will be taking a few snacks with me and some cash, and will be making packed lunches on some days as going to restaurants and eating out can become expensive and when it is warm I often like eating a packed lunch and Henry enjoys it and I love picnics so I hope we will be able to do that.
Plan for the weather not to not go out but to know what to wear and if it is a new place you are going to check out what is local and if you don’t want to be carrying a packed lunch if they do reasonably good price food and if there is a coffee shop and toilet facilities.
I have found that the older a child is the less you need. So with Henry I don’t to carry a lot but make sure I have enough money on my Oyster card (this is a card that you top up to travel on public transport) and that I have some cash and my bank cards. Often I will take a change of clothes but to be honest unless we are going swimming don’t I need to take any but just his coat, and to carry would recommend a bumbag as these are great things to have and will be what I will be using, but to carry coats gonna use his rucksack which is light and for any other items, like tissues and wipes.
The one thing I like is the Easter Egg hunt and my mum usually plans this, and have time with other family members we don’t always get to see and friends and can easily be done on budget and why not have a Easter Egg making challenge and task and I would love to do that with my son, as I did do this one year and they were great to make, so why not give it a try. All you need is chocolate and moulds and then once made can be stored once completed in the fridge or freezer to harden and add sprinkles or putting treats in side.
I have seen a lot of ideas of baking goods to make on Tik Tok, and great for getting ideas along with Pinterest and just having a good time with family and creating those life long memories.
I often wish I could see inside my sons mind, as it would be great to understand his thoughts and fears, as it is hard to tell at times. When I was a kid I found school tough and I did feel detached from the other children and felt I didn’t fit in, and I always feared wanting to be a mum one day, that a child of mine would experience the same.
My son is a much more sociable than me, he still learning about boundaries, because he can get right into other children’s faces, but will say hello to other children without thinking about it and he loves to play and interacting with other kids, but the issue he is having at school at the moment, when he is learning he gets easily distracted by other kids in his class. He struggles with taking turns so helping to support that by stopping the play and go over this issue and remind that playing sports you have to make it fair. I wish I knew the real reason to this, but in observing I think it could because he feels failure and that only he can win, because if not, it means he is in adequate. which he is not.
When children feel separated from other children it can affect them how they get along at school and I always felt different, and doubted my ability in making friends and this has affected my worry of Henry wanting to play in other kids children games that he hasn’t met before, in case they don’t understand him and doesn’t know their games not understanding them, so feel detached.
I never want Henry to feel like that, but you can’t prevent their feelings all the time because they have their own emotions and will have challenges, that is how we all grow and learn.
Stepping back is one tip, and something I have been working on as my son’s parent so he starts to catch up on his development, and learn to form friends by continuing to not get to close to other children and learn to play nicely, and not getting upset when playing sports with other kids. It is good for kids to be competitive, but being respectful too, to the apposing team. One of my goals for Henry is to join a sport clubs, as I think this will help, but its finding a club that can cater to these needs.
Teaching them how to greet someone, because this will help them to form good relationships and it is nice to say hello to a person and asking how they are feeling, and be interested in other people thoughts and feelings.
Giving encouragement can help, which is important and say hello and goodbye nicely, but installing this he will say it without meaning so am installing it into him to say with meaning rather then just saying it for the sake of it.
Working on social behaviour leads to good habits, because being able to communicate properly will help him form friendships and not playing on his own, and other children making the effort to make a conversation. At the moment he will often ignore a child who is trying to talk to him, and personate the train voice overs on trains and not talk to the child back, and not sure how to relate to him, so working on that.
Taking them away from screens and watching their tables or iPads, when people are visiting them at home or meeting up with other children, like his cousins, and interact. If they do use their devices, then have them share and watch something together and still have that interaction, but for a short period and then encourage other engaging activities.
Practicing good manners, when it comes to having friends around for a playdate and eating together at the table, with no distractions, that can cause them to be destructive and running around rather then sitting down and eating. I worked at a nursery on Monday, and their manners were exceptional and noone kicked off but ate nicely, and that is important. It can be a great time to talk about how their day has been and no TV but focusing on eating and with family and friends, so they can eat without having a meltdown, as there is nothing worse than when kids don’t want to sit at the table to eat, or refuse to wash their hands and be clean. Every time I ask Henry to have a shower or bath, he will protest so won’t do anything else until he has been cleaned and saying thank you and please. This will encourage good communication practices in children. It all about being able to when they are older to communicate with others and get along with other people and showing respect.
I hope you don’t feel like you aren’t doing things right, because we all parent differently and I am no child specialist but a parent who has faced many challenges since becoming a mum and want to share these blogs to help, and what I have learned so far.
When Henry was a baby it took us about 5 months to find a good routine, but now he is older he lives by routine and hates change.
Get dressed together: Rather than getting one child dressed one at a time, have them all get dressed and have their older siblings help them and put some music on to create a calm atmosphere and do some activities in the morning to help boost their energy.
It is important to have breakfast and again, have all your children have breakfast together and help clean away the breakfast items and they help wash their bowls to put in the dishwasher, and ready to leave for school. Oh and make sure they have made their beds, packed their bags and have their bags together by the front door.
Have a meal together: I talk about this a lot but is important. My son when we spend the weekend together will have breakfast, lunch and dinner together because we don’t get a chance in the week and its just nice to add this in and for me it is family time.
Make sure they help once again with cleaning and drying the dishes, if you don’t have a dishwasher and have them help with tidying by making sure the items already dried and cleaned are put away. Oh and have them set the table for the meal and rotate it so they get to do different chores.
Have your kids cook a meal: last weekend my son made a vegetable soup and had some for his lunch and dinner on Monday as I travel to his dads house to wait for him to return to school, and so I make his dinner before his dad comes home and so cooking for me essential to help with their independence, you might like to read this blog too where I talk more about: Helping our kids to be healthy and independent
If they are tiny still of course this doesn’t apply to you, but tips for when they get bigger and if they show interest in food, try baby led weaning. if they are able to sit up, but if you not sure chat with your health advisor or doctor. Henry found this tricky so we just did small amount of food at first to help his body get used to food and started off with baby rice, and got into a routine of giving food at first in the morning and then slowly added more food through the day.
Laundry: When Henry has finished school I will have him take his uniform off and into some casual clothes and check it to see if they need to be washed. I am trying to teach him to fold his clothes, as he will take them off and if they are dirty I will ask him to put them into the washing machine. The next stage I want to help him with, is how to work a washing machine. That will come though, and with encourage and perseverance I know he will get it.
Teaching kids to tidy their clothes and fold them will be good for their motor skills and value their belongings and once he changes then we will play, unless he has homework, as we get this done first before we play. Oh and keep washing detergent out of reach, but helping them put it into to the washing machine ball, to put into the machine, and will help them understand what the detergent and the washing machine is for and always supervise. You may like to read this blog: Getting your kids to be more independent
Getting ready for bed: As Henry has grown he has gone to bed later, so now he will go to bed between half eight to half nine. Often he has asked if he can go to bed, as when they first begin school it can be tiring, and was hard to keep him awake and often when we would pick him up from school he would be a sleep.
So having a good bedtime routine is important for you and your children, and I will let my son wind down slowly because he has so much energy, and so once he has done his homework and changed, we play, before he has his dinner and his dad will do a bit of learning with him, like reading a book and when he stays with me, will now allow no watching his tablet after a certain time, and rest and watch some TV but he has had wash, bath or shower to relax and have quiet time. Then I will read to him and then it is bed time and I will do some writing and or watching youtube on my computer then I will read my book and then it is bedtime for me.
When a child has Autism they like to know what is going to happen and it also helps my son’s ADHD and work in blocks of time to make sure they have gotten to school on time and don’t have a meltdown. It helps them to look after themselves more because getting their bag ready is important and be a natural routine, whereby they don’t have to be told, but do it without a word being spoken.
So I hope that you have a good weekend and more blogs to come.
Today Sunday the 12th March 2023 my son, made his own and first Vegetable soup, and ate it. As a baby I would give him vegetable and fruit Purees, but as he has grown and with encouragement will eat them.
The homework for my son this weekend was to make a soup and so he chopped up the ingredients needed, helped stir and add the other ingredients, then helped blend them and chopped up the herbs, and it was really tasty. He has begun doing DT at school, and the soup was really good and didn’t make a fuss in eating it.
This inspired me to write this blog, because it was a success, when sometimes it is not.
The key thing to do is to involve in the whole process. We, my mum and I took him shopping and helped us looking for the ingredients, and then made the meal, and we had for lunch.
Kids like to be responsible, and they like it when they can be involved in doing things like cooking and baking. It helps them to understand about food and trying different things. This means even when they are fussy as children’s taste-buds change. I have been guilty of giving him easy meals like fish and chips, burger beans, but now he is learning about food and he is starting to learn what is healthy and what is not, and slowly his feelings on fruit and vegetables has changed, and he will eat them. Start with just a little bit at a time, and mix the veg a bit of potato is they like them, and just a little bit can make all the difference and their willingness when it comes to vegetables.
I do like a biscuit and so does he, but I want to slowly change that and no longer use food as a bribe it can lead to it being a normal habit which I don’t want, but I feel bad in saying no.
However I am no going to deprive him or me, but not eating things like biscuits all of the time. However with Henry enjoying his soup is a good turning point and get us both back on track when it comes to food.
Our kids being healthy is important, and the one thing I don’t ever encourage is fizzy drinks. I never used to drink these as a kid I found them to gassy, and I drink them now, but my son hasn’t and feel good in that. He will drink manly water or milk.
You don’t have to be super strict and not make dinner time a song or a dance, as we say in England, but encouragement and teaching kids about cooking is a great start in getting our kids to be a lot more healthy.
This also saves money on meals because you can save soup and freeze to having it on another day and got some for my lunch tomorrow and my son has some for his dinner tomorrow, so GET OUR KIDS COOKING. a really good skill that will last a lifetime, and help to make them independent.
What has inspired me to write this blog, was watching and listening to a podcast by Giovanna Fletcher, which is called Happy Mum Happy Baby: https://www.giovannafletcher.com/podcasts/series-eight and she asks this as one of questions, and it got me thinking. To me its the whole experience from carry a child to watching them grow into little people and building their dreams and aspirations.
I waited quite late at 35 when I became pregnant with my son and he wasn’t planned, but I have always been maternal, and knew I wanted to have kids one day. As a kid I loved looking after other children, and babysitting for friends. I didn’t mean to become pregnant at that age, but it was how it panned out and in my twenties was out with friends a lot, and for me I had to have that time before I began thinking about having a child.
So what does it mean to you…?
We need to appreciate that every parents story is different, and its finding yourself and what is important to you.
Fill in the gap and write down what it means to you.
This is not to make you feel that you’ve been doing a bad job in anyway, but bonding and building a healthy relationship and giving them support whenever they need support with to me is whats important.
It isn’t about about changing 55 nappies in one day, but what it has taught you. I have learned a lot being a mum, like what I show my son, because he will copy so I need to set a good example, like not swearing, having a tantrum of my own and having fun. Focusing on one thing at a time and respecting my son, and his needs.
I love it when my son and I go on walks and travel with each other, visiting different places and playing football or rugby.
Every mum will probably say different things and that is fine I respect all mums out there along with fathers, but as women I feel we don’t give ourselves enough credit.
For me it is little moments, like I love it when my son and I play darts because we laugh so much, because my maths is terrible, and thank to the person who created calculators, to do the scoring,but even that I get confused, but being able to laugh at our flaws being a mum, showing your kids of who you are and having boundaries, is what is top of the list when it comes to What it means to me.
We often forget our own care and that for me is top of the list too, and whenever you can have a break to having coffee or a cup of tea, take up the opportunity its not that we need to stop caring for our children, but giving us some me time, and since being a mum time as a I said before in my blog, is precious.
My son has made it clear to me that he doesn’t like me looking at my phone all of the time and be present with him, and I will take myself away from social media and give him the attention he needs.
Kids need there space and time away from us, so in holidays he will spend a couple of days at a holiday club that is local and loves being around other kids and be away from me, and my mum and step dad will look after him too, as weekends we spend in Wimbledon where they live and have some space, and see different faces and people.
So lets work together in bringing the next generation in the world, of course if you want children, and respect us as women and what being a women means.
I have written EBooks on parenting on Amazon.co.uk and I write under the names of Carrie Challoner, Carrie Lee Holmes and Carrie Holmes.
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Before I begin I would like to say a big thank you for those who have read my blogs, and liking my content and following me. If this is the first visit of my blog then welcome. I talk about different topics that you never get told and that I have learned since being a parent. I have a 9 year old son Henry and he lives with his dad and me. His dad’s home is in Surrey and I live in South West London.
I also write books, and written books on parenting, so if you’d like to check them out then you can on Amazon.co.uk and I write under the names Carrie Challoner, Carrie Lee Holmes and Carrie Holmes.
I will be updating this book as when I wrote the book I had baby brain and so some of the dates regarding his birth needs changing, but it like a fly on the wall book where I write like in diary form and so I hope you like it. Its available on Kindle.
In this blog I am talking about Building your children’s personal development. It is so important for our kids to be independent and find their way into the world, and will need many skills to learn that will help their future. Such as reading, writing, listening, talking and memory, getting dressed, going to the toilet and sleeping, that it can be overwhelming for you and for your kids.
So start with taking each step as they develop and if they are interested in a book, allow them to sit with the book and flip through. hardback, Fabric books are good for their senses. It would be books like “That’s no mine…”, as they have pictures with different textures of fabric inside, and pop up books that will make them laugh and you want to build their interaction so its good not just reading, but talking about each book they love, as their awareness develops.
Today my son read the first chapter of Horrid Henry and Partly of Billy Goats Gruff. He has develop delay but he can read really well, its just that he doesn’t always show what he can do and that makes it hard when it comes to school because at the moment the books he is reading at school aren’t challenging enough. Kids, like my son tends to hide a lot of what skills they have, so the learning they do at home, will help them when they go to school, because they will perform more at home sometimes compared to school.
Logging their learning into their school diary of what they have done at home, can help the teachers see that he can read a entire paragraph that he won’t show at school. I know many will say, what about home learning full time, but because he is on the Autism Spectrum he needs that social part of school, and he loves being with other kids.
He enjoys school its just he will hold back a lot and so what you can do at home can make a difference, even if it is 10 minutes of the day.
The same with writing. They will build these skills as they read, and using activity books from stores like Whsmiths can be good to start with along with drawing and helping them make associations with words and writing them down.
Fitting in this has been tricky, so want to do more and can write numbers now and small words, and doing a bit each week or day, is good to help them. Henry is often a bit reluctant to write, but we just do a bit for ten minutes, with a reward helps him be happy about it, and that is where books comes in. It can really be a reward itself for them aswell as a bit of chocolate or a toy that the want to play with.
My youngest niece loves writing and writing stories. Not all kids want to do it, and it can be because they may be dyslexic, so something to consider, not to worry as many successful people have this difficulty like Richard Branson. With my son is because he has ADHD and loves physically learning like he loves sport and trains, and he loved buses and so I made him a book about buses and used this to encourage him to write.
This can lead to listening, and something that my son has trouble with, but is getting better, by giving him encouragement and having structure. If we are watching something we want to watch and not him, we will explain to him first, by saying “Right this programme on now, so we want to be quiet” and quiet time is a good habit especially before bed time, and this leads to an important habit and skill, sleeping.
Sleeping can be hard and I as mum has reminded as I have grown of how much I was a nightmare when it came to sleep as I have always has struggles. This stemmed from when I was a kid and we lived on the ground floor in a housing estate and kept playing visions in my mind of somebody trying to break into my room. I know my mum would be shaking her head, because since a baby before we lived on the ground floor I didn’t sleep, but was an influence I would say.
Having a bedtime routine will help and yes I know you have heard that, but my child still doesn’t sleep well, speak with your health visitor or doctor as they can help. With Henry he has always been good, until he started to grow and often will moan about going to bed now, as he loves being awake and being on the go all the time, wanting to play and watch his tablet but we now don’t have him watch it before bed as it can cause problems with sleep which I did argue against, but has made a difference and now he doesn’t always awake around 5am,. as he sleeps well but wakes up early.
When it comes with talking, my son loves to talk, but this is why he is on the Autism Spectrum because he has Social communication problems, and so will repeat the speaking on trains, example: “Mind the Gap between the train and a platform” but not engage in conversation. He is getting better and so we are trying to stop this especially if there are other children or adults trying to have a chat with him.
He is a social boy, which I know may be contradiction, but he loves other children and will say hello but won’t always engage, like other children. He will stay sentences now, not always in the right dialect, so we will correct him, not angrily or to make him feel bad, but in a way that he says the sentence in the correct dialect.
Kids learn from repetition and where reading can help, and doing speech therapy is great way to help with talking and speaking to others.
Then there is memory and that is where memory comes in. If you keep on showing how to fold a top, they will copy. The more they say sentences in the right context, the more they will continue. Henry’s memory is second to none and remembers when he hurt his head at school and that was 5 years ago, and when I moaned about Boots (a local pharmacy store in the UK) not having birthday gift cards and only had Christmas and so it is little things like that, where its like. Wow you remembered that? And he knew from as soon as he would walk where the park was.
Building memory is a simple as taking the same route to the park so they get to know where they are going and Henry liked when we would walk to school, would want to walk the same route and often I will go through the street names, to help him, and it has helped us to bond and build our relationship with each other, because kids like to be shown things like street names, and counting house numbers to identify numbers.
Henry though, won’t always show this skill, memory and say he doesn’t know but we know he does it appears that he holds his skills back. I have learned a new method to help him by saying, “Sorry can you do that again?” or Can you say that again” and will as we go through it say the answer to something or a sentence that he knows and will show he knows. He just need prompting.
This skill was watching Youtube of a couple called Phil and Alex, and they have two adopted children and a biological child. If they read this blog. Thank you.
Playing games like Dino Duo, Check that out, is a good way to help with memory and there are different games you can play with these cards. (This is not sponsored), it is a game my son and I play a lot and he beats me every time. Card games are brilliant for memory. It help with counting and remember symbols and images.
When it comes to getting dressed, I will leave the clothes out for him and he puts them up. He can do it my son, but can be lazy. They have to do it for themselves to be independent and so its taking a step back as a parent and allow them to figure it out. If my son gets stuck I will offer support but say, “Turn around the other way” for example, when my son puts on a top. He now because I reward him with a high 5 or a cuddle knows when he has put his top on, that he done a good thing.
That is a tip I’d give, celebrate and seeing it as a win
It is a accomplishment and praise goes a long way.
Then there is toilet training. This has been a challenge, and he will still leave it to the last minute and can be frustrated because he is trained he just puts play at the top of his choices but I have had to install that if he does he won’t be able to play, because if we are out means we will have to go home.
He still has struggles when it comes to using the toilet but he is getting better because he I hope this isn’t TMI, in wiping his bottom. He can do it and tries but still have difficulties, but again with all other skills encouragement goes a long way and I don’t make it a big deal its more like “Go and call me if you need help” and he does and this helps with sleep too that he is to go and not wait.
I have put together a board of some of my blogs on Pinterest and so check them out, and there are more blogs to come.
I also have a Youtube channel for more content, which is all about my life as a mum, writer, doing chat videos, Reset videos, hauls and days in a life:
So it is the World Book Week, where our kids will be dressing up to represent characters in the books they love and for my son, his school theme was, that they had to be a word, and so my son went as sporty.
I know easy choice and not much effect but it had to be something he knows, and he loves his sport. I got him a tracksuit from Sports Direct and was last minute, as I don’t allow myself time, and each year when it comes around make an agreement that II will make it a goal to plan more far ahead, but no, like Christmas cards, yes sorry to mention this only being March, but the speed of the year it may be tomorrow before I know it, but last year gone still didn’t get round to doing any Christmas cards, and so yes was a mad rush, and he seemed to not dismiss it as when we were looking for an outfit (his dad and I) he was moaning, because we were looking for a jumper or jacket, but he hates hoods, so bought a tracksuit that had no hood and was in sale and was last resort.
My son is not keen on dressing up, when I bought him a tiger outfit a couple of years ago as he loved the book “The Tiger who came to tea” it lasted on him for about 5 minutes and when I picked him up, it was in a bag and glad we remembered to put spare clothes underneath and in his bag, and so it is tricky to find an outfit he would actually wear.
My mum when we would go to a holiday camp would enter us in, me and my brother in fancy dress competitions and my mum made my brother a Robin Hood outfit with Tissue paper, whilst my nan made mine out of trousers, and top, and put bells on the bottom as I was a belly dancer I think, and my brother won, so if you are into sewing then this is tip, but if not tissue paper can be a good option.
If it is a onesie and your child likes wearing these then you can be still worn at night time rather than a dressing gown. Today (not showing any pictures) my niece dressed up as a character for Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and it was fantastic and my sister in-law used a pair of shorts she had and a brownish tops and the make up or could have been face paint was so good. Honestly put me to shame.
Books are good for kids because it helps with communication and with writing and understanding grammar. My son still being 9 likes a book to be read to him, but not always keen to do itself, but we have him read, because he has needed help with his communication. Its not that he can’t do it, its more because he not always saying sentences in the right dialect.
So I hope your kids enjoy it and if you are teacher that you dressed up too and now it is next year. I hope I am more organized.
My son’s mixed emotions about baths has changed a lot and there was a time where he wouldn’t sit in the bath and didn’t like his dad giving him a bath only me. I remember when he kept having bad diarrhoea that I would have to hose him down and it was very traumatic and felt so guilty but at the time it was the only option and toilet roll and wipes wouldn’t cut it.
This wasn’t when he was a baby, but around about 3 to 4 years old when he could stand in the bath, but making them fun he loved them again and would ask if he could have one and he would not want to get out.
Now he is older its not about him not wanting a bath or shower, its because he wants to continue to play and do his own thing, and he loves showers and being hosed down by the shower head and yesterday he had a bath as a change, because he is having swimming lessons on Saturday’s and one of the mums, who first taught Henry to swim gave me a tip on giving him a bath to help him practicing kicking his feet. The is the thing he loves swimming because he likes to go under water and float and then do some jumps., but when it comes to bath or shower he will lay on the floor and say he hates baths and having a shower.
He prefers a wash, with a flannel and water from the sink, which I do on some occasions but I want him to be properly clean. He did in the end enjoy the bath and he practiced and kicking his feet. I know it is him standing his ground so I try not to get cross, but it can be a challenge.
Then after that we did get used to it, and did get the water right and would bath in a little bath in the living room where it was the warmest and he began to love them, and doing baby massage I would recommend a doing a class, because it helped us, he loved being bathed and being changed.
I don’t make a deep bath, but I will sit on the toilet with the toilet seat down and allow him to soak and I find it relaxing just allowing me time to just sit and be with my thoughts until he is ready to come out,and good to talk about what he did for the day. He does have a bath with his dads and protests but I know this is a phase and not going to be long term.
It is another end of a week and now I am back with my son and came up with this idea when I uploaded a new video series of Deals I have found this week, this is on my main Youtube channel that I have linked below. on the items I needed and it has made me see what I am consuming and do need to be healthier.
This made me monitor what I consume that an affect my son. I am addicted to sugar and it is beginning to bother me, and not sure where to start to change this habit. This is the same for our kids, we should be monitoring on what I kids consume on a daily basis. I don’t want my son being on his tablet all day. Instead we go on walks and play football and rugby. This evening we did some homework without any fuss and felt that was result as normally he would protest, and I felt good in myself in doing this too, as I want my son learning and can play and go to trains that he loves as long as he does some learning that is going to help him in the long run. Our days out I use to educate Henry but encourage him to tell his dad or his grandparents on what he did at the weekend in the week to help with his communication which he struggles with.
This also means TV. I don’t watch much no, but on a Friday I do like it when son cuddles up with me to watch a bit of TV and allow myself to watch some in the evening and at the weekends in the morning. It helps me to switch off from being on my laptop.
I make sure that what we watch is appropriate for his age to watch and that means on this tablet too and we don’t when together my son and I watch TV whilst we eat. we will eat in the kitchen on the Kitchen table, and then after we have eaten then we can watch some a bit of TV.
On a Saturday he goes to swimming class and then we will have lunch and visit a local park and feed the ducks and just spending quality together in places where we enjoy going and places we like to visit, helps to build our relationship and getting a good amount of exercise as we will often play rugby or football.
I monitor what we eat together as I don’t always like to eat fast food but as a treat and have good home cooked meals. It is important to me and my son to have a good diet but still allowing treats but in moderation. However I enjoy taking him out for lunch and so I subsidise for that, but not do this all of the time.
The other area is sleep, I like to make sure my son has a good amount of sleep and me too. I say this as I am up on a Friday writing this blog, but I will be in bed soon and Saturday is my night off and so spend time off my laptop, and go back to it on Sunday, once my son is back with his dad.
So, lets work together and if you have tips on Monitoring what you and your kids consume then please do. Please leave below in the comments. If you’d like to be alerted of blogs I post on this site, then remember to follow me and if you have found this blog helpful to like this post.
This week it has been half term, if you did’t know , its a yearly holiday that is a week in February. Check out latest day in a life video: https://youtu.be/Kx5LEyZCLqs
We visited a few of our favourite places and yesterday spent time with my brothers family and my son when to a holiday club called Youngstars, so he could be with other children still and because he likes interacting with other children.
I have a week to myself this first week back to school, but usually I would be planning my days to be at my son’s home where he lives with his dad to wait for him to return from school and fit in some homework, play and make his dinner.
Check out these tips to help make life easier as our kids return to school:
Tip#1: if you are two parent family then see if you can swap or have a routine like me and my son’s dad has, so he waits with my son to be picked up to go to school and I wait at his house where his dad lives, to return from school, because of the distance. We make sure hand over when my son’s dad returns home from work, before I set off to go back to where I live in Wimbledon and plan weekends for my son to stay with me and spend time together then too.
Tip#2: If you have a bath and have one or more kids still in infant school, bath them together depending on age, of course if you have teenagers probably not, but if they are infants then this saves on water costs and time.
Tip#3: Have bags labelled with their names and do a list for each child and have a changing station,and have them help each other to get dressed and to wake them up why not do some dancing. My son loved it when we would do this, and really helps their mind and ready for the day. So this not really just after half term but this can help with the half term blues.
Tip#4: Anything you can get done the night before take advantage of this and have their lunches, if they have packed lunch, ready, along with spare clothing as some children can still have accidents along with their shoes and coats.
Tip#4: Have different bag, one for half term like a beach bag and one for the return of school as like me I carry less when my son returns to school, compared to when he is on holiday and I often do this at the weekends, and have a separate list of your own for when your kids return to school.
I really hope these tips help you and remember if you want to be kept up to date with my blogs then press follow and if you like this blog, click like, so I know that these blogs have helped you and made your life easier. That is what you need as a parent.
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Yes my son is tucked up in his bed and I am up late going through my plans for the week and the first tip is:
Check the weather: This can affect your plans and so it is good to listen to the forecast so you have some idea if it worth going outdoors or not, and it also helps in knowing what to wear for the week. I am glad I have my trainers as I need them in my life., along with a scarf and coat with a hood and a good warm hat.
Tips 2:
Check Travel: Yes if you been in the UK we have had a few train strikes, which can affect plans and I check using the Trainline App to make sure they are running. Checking will help you to know where to go or where to avoid and if you can travel by bus instead. Thankfully looks like the trains are running tomorrow as I am taking my son up to central London which he loves and walk along the river, as he is obsessed with trains and I am lucky that I live where a few trains lines travel through and will be filming for my Youtube channel (typicallondongal Carrie Holmes).
Tip 3:
Free places to go: There are many things you can do that are free like visiting the park and tomorrow walking along he River Thames cost nothing, as I already have my Oyster card topped up to travel, and I will take a few snacks and where we are going there are places to grab something to eat, but I’d may just pick food from the shops along the way rather than going to a restaurant. The food is good along there but does get really busy, and can be expensive.
Tip 4:
Plan the days with your kids: Have them decide where to go, but to save tantrums if you can’t fit it all in, give them options and if you don’t do it this half term, then choose it for the next set of school holidays. As much as we’d like to split ourselves apart to go everywhere, it is virtually impossible, and check out sites like Groupon, Virgin Experiences, Buygift.com as they do have some ideas of what to do, and have then choose online.
It all about having fun and avoiding tantrums if that is possible.
This week it is Children’s Mental health week, and wanted to acknowledge it because I am a mum who has had Mental Health illness and I am a mum with a son and my sons mental health is important aswell as mine and so it is good that I have a good relationship with him and if he has any worries he is able to share them with me.
We have so much fun together and I want it to be that way, and I feel good when I have made him laugh and we enjoy things like dancing, singing and playing sports together aswell as doing other things, like “Yes” homework and this doesn’t always please my son, so what I will do is pre-reward him and say, “If we just do this we can then play” and you can make homework playful, like drawing and taking pictures that they can use depending on what the homework is of course. I get a little anxious about doing his homework because I have trouble with it, so I can see why he may not want to do it, but it is essential so I will say “This what we will be doing now and then we can play but this first lets do some homework” and we figure it out together and my mum I admit will help too as like I have said I have issues understanding it, like maths and yes it is a challenge, so if I can delegate to help him then that is what I will do.
Discuss with your children and what is going on in their minds. I have found doing this is through play like with playdoe or colouring in or as soon as he comes home we will sit and talk just for a few minutes so I can see that he is okay and is happy.
Setting a good example of good relationship can have a huge impact. I would never allow him to watch anything like Jerry Springer or the Jeremy Kyle show because he can copy and didn’t want him thinking that is how you communicate, and so it is good that you have good relationship around you and if there is a disagreement isn’t in front of him.
If they have questions answer them honestly but in language they can understand and not saying anything negative about the other person. When it comes to co-parenting it is important our son (my son’s dad and I) are on the same page, and take upon ourselves to help educate our son aswell as school and help build his mind and body, like making sure that Henry becomes independent and not reliant on his dad and I. The other thing about relationships is to tell them and show them that you love them, and that he learns about personal space. The other day I get a call from my sons school to say that he had been hit by another child in class because he got too close and it’s not doing anything inappropriately he just very affectionate which a lot of children can be fearful of so we teaching him to say hello and either high 5 or shake hands. Or just say Hello and answer a person as he will go off in his own world.
It is all about learning and teaching kids be ready for the big wide world.
We are all busy creatures and have so much to do like I need to order another school jumper for my son and got errands to run and my son’s dad has booked holiday and had time for myself which I am thankful for. I feel the Separation anxiety a lot and miss him dearly so glad next week will be back to normal.
Wandle River in Wimbledon where me and my son walk a lot and took this last weekend.
This weekend we are going to see if we can go on the Thameslink train as we watched some at Hayden Station, and so hopefully we can go up London and do what we planned to go up London. Not sure if we can because many of the trains are scheduled to go on strike, and so if the still funny on Saturday then we may not be able to, and writing the words I feel the guilt.
I want to make it happen as I love going on train journeys and getting that time with my son is so important because I want him to have a bag full of memories and have a good childhood as I did too. My mum and dad would always take us out, and I would cry when I was a kid, over the fact that the day had ended.
It can be tricky especially if you have more than one child because of dividing your time, but it still possible, by making sure that you let the kids write down what they want to do, and then it financial.
Yes I feel it, prices going up, so it means saving which not many households can do, and looking what you can do for free. If you are on Universal Credit you can get a discount on travel and this covers bus rides and the tram, so in fact in writing this may take Henry on a bus rather than a train this weekend, and make sure he has lunch before we go, so not having to buy my food out.
You can also get discount on trains to by ordering a travel card. Me and my husband did this and even when my son came into our world, and if you book in advance you can get a discount. but lets see how long these strikes go on for.
Nevertheless , it doesn’t mean you have to travel. Half term will be coming up and just a walk in the park, and soon it will be time for picnics again and BBQ’s. Of course if you are overseas then you may be able to do this all year round, and you can still go out but wrap up and still have fun. Greggs are good for low budget food and their sausage rolls are great and their coffee is good. I know many make disagree, but is just a suggestion.
Time with kids important to kids not money and so do a reading a hour where each child get choose a book for you to read or they all read themselves and do like a weekly book club. My mum came up with this kind of activity, and why not have each share what they read and Works do a real good deals when it comes to children’s books and have them choose a new one, and have your children write their own stories. I love writing stories when I was a kid and not plugging, but letting you know, that I write books and available from amazon.co.uk Here’s an example: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Having-Baby-Parenting-without-Stress-ebook
I have more, under the names Carrie Holmes, Carrie Lee Holmes and Carrie Challoner. I was testing my name because of people remembering them. I have written two novels, A lonely walk to happiness, and my new one Mum&Me. Which aren’t for children but for parents to read and I love having that time to read.
Then you can play sports outdoors and camping I miss so much and would love to do this again. I love creating great adventures because of the wonderful memories I have when me, my brother my mum and dad would take us camping, and we would go with other families and so much fun.
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I love the weekends spending time with my son because we have such fun and plan each weekend like we did whilst in the park on Sunday of what he would like to do, and so I took note and discussed about doing those things next weekend.
It is so good to do different things and this weekend, my son after he went to his Swimming lesson, did some painting of some wooden houses I bought from The Works and then on Sunday Henry went to the park on his scooter whilst I walked and got some steps in, and next week I am taking him on a train, Saturday will be spent going to a coffee shop, because he was asking if we can go to one again, and so said we’d do that on Saturday and go and watch the trains, and use his vouchers he received for his birthday.
The weekend for me is doing things that you wouldn’t do in the week like going to the park or watching the trains or playing football or rugby. We often go the local park where there is a pond and buy some duck feed in the cafe in there, where I take him on occasions to have lunch and feed the ducks.
Fresh air does wonders to your wellbeing for you and your kids. having a craft afternoon, and making the weekend full of fun even if it playing with a cardboard box, you can still make it fun, painting and help use their imagination, like building a fort. Henry was pretending to be a Police officer and arresting me, and was using the downstairs bathroom as a jail. It is good for their imaginations to do pretend play and helps take them away from their devices, as my son could spend ages watching his tablet which is not good all of the time.
The weekends is great for having a nice meal together that they don’t always get to do in the week as they are tired and just want to chill, and even if you don’t get a chance to have a meal together in the week, the weekends are the best times. As a kid we would always have a meal together, and I love a Sunday roast, such a meal that is fulfilling and often on a Sunday I would cook a casserole or a stew using the slow cooker and your kids help you is a great way tho encourage them to eat their vegetables if they don’t eat a huge amount in the week.
As a kid we would often go to my Nans at the weekends and seeing other families and all go for a meal, and in the summer time we’d go somewhere by the river where we wouldn’t always get to do especially in the week, and often my dad would take us near the river to ride our bikes and as a kid not many shops were open unlike now so you’d make the weekends different to the week and so I love the weekend and love not having to set an alarm, and watching some weekend TV that I don’t always do in the week and watch a film and making the most of this time together, so my son can have good memories of the weekends aswell.
Today it was my sons annual review that he has each year at his current school about his learning and one is social skills, and that is what inspired me now as I was in bed and so had to get up and write it.
Kids need to learn to socialise and have interaction with other children and adults. My son has ADHD and is on the Autism Spectrum in Social Communication, but he is a social boy. He will often when we are in the park want to play with other kids, but it is teaching about asking first, introducing himself and not invading another person’s space and taking turns, that for me is key and a starting point of helping with Socialising.
He does get upset about winning and sharing, and has lashed out, because of that, and it is hard not to get cross, because of it upsetting that child and the implication it has when playing with other kids and being fair. And he has begun now to when he gets upset, says “We have to make it fair” and so I say “That’s right” and so is slowly understanding.
Never avoid social interaction, because the more they do it the more they get used to it and learn to play without getting upset and frustrated. The more they interact the more they will make friends and build good relationships, and set an example too, by socialising and being kind and friendly and I will chat with a stranger at a bus stop and I haven’t always been a good friend, but I have learned from that, because I don’t want my son to be isolated, and have friends and socialise, respecting other children and adults boundaries.
Creating a good atmosphere where people are happy and smiling and laughing, makes a difference and when he does get upset about somebody else using his stuff, like he got upset because of his cousin was using his scooter at the weekend, I sat him down to explain, and then he was fine and it is good to offer your toys to other children, it is all part of learning good people skills.
Arrange playdates and remind them on what you can do and what they are not allowed to do, and install be kind and if a child minds your child hugging them. to respect that and just say hello and shake hands or high five instead.
It is all part of learning and helping their development, and if they see you talk and chat with someone the more they will do the same, in a friendly manner. It is all about forming good socialising habits and prepping them for when they get older, and installing common courtesy and the one thing he does do, is cheer on other children, when playing sports and when he goes swimming.
Once they start to understand the way of the world, other skills and learning how to be with other people, will come but reminding them and showing makes a huge difference.
It is important as a parent that I have my son learn Life Skills to help build my son’s independence and become a person in his own right. I do find I talk for him and so I have to remind myself that it’s Henry who needs to speak, not me and so making conversation is a life skill that my son needs to do for himself and have him use his voice and not mine.
Learning how to dress themselves can be tricky because they get used to you, the parent do it and not them, so now I will lay out his clothes, but he puts them on. He is not always happy about it, but he has to do it and so I will give him extra time to do this, so there is no rushing. My son gets easily distracted by what is going around him and so I will turn down the TV and make him turn off his tablet, until he is dressed and ready for the day. It is important for me and his dad do this, and be consistent with it.
If they want to do things for themselves then let them and step away, but still supervising with some distance, if it is something like cooking and making sure that your child has buckled up his seat belt if you drive, or crossing a road. The way to do this, is by going through it step by step, as they become more aware of what they are doing.
Being street wise especially living in a city in essential as it is important that our kids, to stop accidents happening, know about road safety and when to cross a road and when not.
Teaching kids to swim is good to help with the fear of water. Henry at one point wouldn’t sit down in a bath and would stand the whole time, but then one day he sat down and so what ever was affecting his confidence with a bath, he on his own, overcame it.
Give kids time and they will learn skills by themselvesand if you make it fun, it can really help conquer their fears.
So swimming can help with that and Henry loves Swimming and has begun lessons at school and has lessons on Saturday’s too, and has no fear what so ever, and he even loves showers and has one once a week aswell as a bath when he is with his dad.
It is all about their growth and understanding and knowing when to step in and went not.
The more independent they are the more they won’t be reliant on mum and dad helping, and if they find something difficult then make sure you work together as parents to support them and practice different skills taking it step by step.
They are going to need to cook and run their own baths and showers and washing up and washing their clothes, and cook, so if you keep teaching these skills whilst they are still kids the more they will be knowledgeable when they get older and can be fully independent.
Let’s help each other and thank you to you for following me, if you do and liking blogs it really is mind blowing and so if you want to keep updated on my blogs then you can by following me.
First of all I hope you all had a good Christmas and a Happy New year. I have a new book out on amazon, called Mum&Me and is in my name, Carrie Holmes and is available on Kindle and paperback.
So setting a routine with your kids. First lets all make sure your children are prepared and ready and looking forward to going back to school by talking about it and what they are looking forward to.
Have them write i down what they did during the holidays so they can show their teacher and their friends.
I like to create a photobook for Henry to show and you can do this via google photos and not expensive at all.
Have a uniform station
So where they eat their breakfast and so once they finished they can then begin to get dressed.
Put what they are wearing laid out, along with their school bags that is near the front door ready to pack and for when you need to leave to get your child to school or is picked up.
With my son it his dad that gets him ready for school now, but he still does a routine and his dad has Henry do a bit of reading to help prepare Henry and Henry loves school and thankfully doesn’t get upset with going.
I remember when I would take him to school, there was a young girl crying her heart out as she didn’t want to go in and it can be so distressing and so do feel blessed that Henry is not like that. Kids can fear school, so to help,
it so prepping them before hand can help and having a routine, even if it is listening to a song, if it helps them then use it.
Do some dancing,
I have done this with Henry before school and when he comes home and it helps him to unwind and it is mainly spinning around, but it is such fun and you want to get to your kids endorphins and bring a smile to their face.
As soon as the come home go through their bag and take anything out and if they can do this themselves then have them clear their bags out themselves.
Have them put anything out from their bags that needs washing into the laundry basket or in the washing machine and find out what they did during their first day back a school.
This is can be hard because Henry doesn’t always say, so the school teacher will write a note in his book to tell us but what I did yesterday, that I am going to continue to do is have him write something about the day, even if it is one or two sentences and a bit of reading.
So, I hope that the first week back goes well and help get us back to the school routine.
This week my son performed in his school Christmas show and I was really looking forward it, but he wasn’t in it and it did have a date in his message book but because the tickets were for Thursday I thought the date in his book was wrong, because even though he does the Year 1 curriculum he really is in Year 4. I was given the wrong ticket and missed his performance and my son was looking for me on the Monday when he was performing with Year 1. Yet as said was given the tickets for Thursday for years 3 and 4. which technically is his year and believed that he spends time in in that year aswell as year 1 , so yes went to the wrong performance.
I am so disappointed and next time will check and make sure there is a better communication between us (my son’s dad and I) with his school when it comes to school events, as the teacher is going to see if it was filmed and if she can send it to me so I can see it.
I hate letting my son down and he did says something on Monday but thought he was confused and so said to him I will be seeing him on Thursday. So a miscommunication has now got me concerned because we aren’t sure of when our son is doing in terms of his mainstream classroom (which is in year 4) and with year 1.
When it comes to schools and Henry it has been a challenge because even the school he is in now may be changed as they are saying that they can’t long term still have him there and needs to be with a more specialised school and I talked about this in my Youtube channel, Typical London Gal Carrie Holmes, in my last week Sunday chat video.
I want to be there for all school events and it was so nice to see him get a award from when he has been having horse riding lessons and next year if he does stay at his current school, having swimming lessons and currently he has private lessons on a Saturday and loves it. Forgetting what happened this week, I really am not wanting him to go somewhere else to learn and make sure that any events I double check and email his teacher to keep track of what he will be doing in year 4 and when he has events with year 1 as at least I can make sure there is better communication on our part.
This has also made me see that I need to listen to my son more, as he takes in a lot of what is said, and knows more that what he lets on. I want to be part of his journey at school and see all of his shows and be there when he has his yearly reviews, and not miss a thing.
It is so important to me that I am part of his learning and help support him with his development. to grow our relationship. I know there are a lot of families struggling and parents worrying about letting their kids down, but what is important, is that it isn’t all about presents but showing love and compassion, and meeting family they don’t always get to see and friends.
Christmas is only once a year, but love continues throughout their life and telling them and showing them each day is for me most important and that I listen and learn as a parent and support him even more.
If this is the first Christmas for your child then they will not know what is going on but you can still celebrate and buy a Christmas Babygro and still decorate as babies love twinkling lights.
Play Christmas songs and dancing around the room whilst playing them, and it makes me think about those families who don’t have the luxury and not afford it, and there will be many find it a struggle and so it is the time to help make sure children from poor backgrounds can have a gift and give decorations to them, to put up.
This is the one of the reasons why I buy from Charity shops rather than chain stores all of the time and support small businesses, and local businesses. I am going to donate this year and if I see stalls for food banks i am going to donate. Now Tesco’s have begun to when you shop ask if you’d like donate to a charity and I do.
Sometimes there are scams and so you do need to be vigilant especially when buying online and that everyone can celebrate Christmas and not be struggling to put food on the table.
When it comes to Christmas and is your baby first everyone will want to hold them and have cuddles and a good way for you to unwind and have time to catch up with friends and family and having your family around you can make a huge difference, and again if you know a family that don’t then why not invite them round or choose another day around the festive season. If you are able to, and have a massive sleep over watching a Christmas movie and play family games, after dinner and finished by a lovely supper and time for some family pictures and like my brother did do a family photo of your baby on the Christmas cards, so they have something to remember and your child can see when they experienced their first Christmas.
It is all about giving love and sharing love, and have something for your child to remember forever.
Hello and welcome. It is now the end of November and yes we are a day away from December.
I wish I could pause the time and slow it down a bit. I have bought some more gifts and so I have been ordering from Amazon, who I always go too, for some great deals and items. It’s all about sets for me this year and you can get some really good deals.
So you can buy craft sets and games. I have done a gift guide video: @typicallondongal and will be more coming as we get closer.
To help you I have created My Parent Gift guide printable and so here it is:
This has many ideas and I hope that you find them helpful.
For me it is budgeting and of gifts that have longevity and items that will definitely get used, and so find out as the child’s parents of what they are into and have a spending limit and give a child money or a gift card, and they can choose what they want.
So have a good Christmas time and there will be more blogs to come.
I hope you have been liking my series of blogs and in this series it about celebrating birthdays and Christmas gift ideas. In this blog I sharing some great experiences for kids.
Firstly though I would like to share my first Gift Guide video I have uploaded and published on my main Youtube channel. Check it out via this link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UXwBe4M__Gw
So experiences. They can be brilliant rather than a toy that may never be played with and one year I bought my nieces a experience at Chessington World of Adventures to feed the giraffes and they loved it and created them a letter from Santa to invite them and could choose a day they can go and do it. They ended up being there for nine hours.
Lets support the local theatres and see a show. The are the famous theatres in London but there are local ones, like where my son lives they often put on shows at the Epsom Playhouse and the Polka Theatres. They do a load of kids shows for all ages and the one near me in Wimbledon have a softplay area aswell and I am taking my son to a pantomime at the Wimbledon Theatre and another one at the end of the December in Woking. It is worth it and they don’t have to be for a lot of money. There are companies called Groupon and buyagift.com do special offers on seeing a theatre show and it s great afternoon or evening out.
If you unable to afford it then why not create an experience at home, like a Christmas afternoon tea with turkey sandwiches and cakes. I am taking my son on Saturday to see a football match at AFC Wimbledon and tickets not that expensive, £20 adults and £5 for kids under 18 years.
Why not have a football night and have hot dogs and burgers indoors and can be made into a playdate so they can watch it with their friends, and save you a lot of money and create an invitation to invite their friends around. Make these by hand, with plain and different coloured paper.
Create a camping experience and have them camping out in the garden, if they love camping and again have there friends over to join them and make a bonfire to melt marshmallows. Not necessarily in the winter but create a voucher for it and set a date and write a letter from Santa to tell all about it and what will be included. Like there will be friends coming and games they will play or telling spooky stories.
Arrange a sleepover for your kids and invite other family with their kids around and play party games like, pass the parcel or musical statues. Have them play a board game, which I feature in my gift guide I have linked above of classic games they can play and have a lucky dip.
It is all about making in special and personally for them to have a memorable time and have lots of fun without spending a fortune.
~Why not organize a day where they are in charge of the day and can choose different experiences that can be booked in the year ahead, like go Ice skating. As a kid my mum and her friend would take us to Queensway in London and often at Christmas time they have an ice rink near the museums in South Kensington in London and such good fun. Yes again you may need to save for it but is worth it. Go for a meal at their favourite place and give them a list to write to choose which experience they’d like to do and if they are good get to do what they have chosen and really great to create everlasting memories.
I hope you find these tips helpful and will be doing more blogs as we get nearer to Christmas and birthdays coming, and if you’d like to tell us what experiences you loved that others on this blog would like to read then please do so below.
Hello, hello and hello. Do I say it, that we are approaching the Festive Season of joy , yet because the prices of things going up it can put strain on it rather than enjoying it, so if you have any toys your kids don’t use anymore then why not donate them so other kids can enjoy them too, and work together so we all can still smile and enjoy Christmas.
I filmed my first gift guide yesterday and so this will go up by next week and going to do a series of blog posts and videos of how you can create your own gifts and experiences for Christmas.
Christmas is spending time with family and friends. Forgetting all the hate and things that annoy you and having a good dinner and a good day.
Go second hand, it can really benefit but do you maths. I do buy items and going to find decor in charity shops but still keep a list and have a budget.
You can create your own Advent Calendar and I am going to look around and see the different ones and Poundland often do some brilliant Christmas decor so I will taking a look and my favourite online store Amazon for decor and presents and make them fun.
So it is coming up to Christmas, but it also coming up to check schools out to choose where you want your children to go if they are due to start school he following September and first school year. I felt anxious because Henry had a time where if he saw a gate open or a door, he would go through it and run off and it really caused me to have anxiety over it and so the security of a school was very important and so go through any queries you have before you visit so you know what to ask, if this is a worry for you too.
The other thing is the school values and if they do what they say. Henry has development delay and so needs 1 to 1 support, but because he was behind due to this they in the end couldn’t cater for him when initially said because of their values they would but didn’t and Henry had to go to a different school to continue to get extra learning support and so, if your child has development problems and need 1 to 1 support, find out how they will support your child, and how they will cater to their needs.
When it comes choosing schools do look at the Ofsted report, and if you live far from the school find out by your local authority if they can provide transport. My son gets a free taxi to and from school because of the distance and because his previous school working with the local authority could provide this to us.
The other thing that you may have anxious feelings about, is if your child transitions to school routine, and so ask about what your child will be learning when they start and what is the learning method and if it will suit your child and if they do a moving up day, it is worth going. Henry at first was super anxious and that made me feel it too, and so in the holidays before he started helped him to get excited about it and go through all the good things they will be doing and keep talking about it and how they will make a lot more friends and learn new things.
Then there is food. When in the first two years in the UK children can get free meals up until year 2 and have to start paying from year 3. This however may change but worth asking and what food they serve. Henry at his school he going to now, told me that Henry wasn’t eating his lunch, and so would be super hungry when he came home, and so check if the food that child will eat, if not ask if they are able to bring in their own, and have a packed lunch.
Will they cater to your child’s diet if your child has any allergies to food and ask will the food meet your child’s dietary requirements, as they should cater for all, because of discrimination and if the child eats food for religious purposes.
So I hope these tips help you and chat with other parents you know that can give you support and advice, and raise your concerns, as it is about your child having a good education and that your child gets so much out of it.
Yes it is that time of your children’s growth where they can get into cupboards and cause as much mess as possible not good if you have OCD as it can feel like a bomb has hit it. Well fear not, because you can also create games with them, to see how many balls can they get into a bucket and begin to know where things go.
I this is a series of blog, please check out my first two that I wrote and shared:
They will start to test your patience, and my son poured a shelf of custard in a supermarket and yes and foolish left, his dad and I legged it. Yes sorry to those who did clear it up. I do feel shame in that, as it should be reported so people don’t walk in it or slipped over.
Then there is baby proofing. The one thing I would say is avoid using gates as it can feel restrictive and if they see you walking down the stairs and show then they can still be safe when it comes to stairs, as they learn as they follow you without falling and so would say baby proof cupboards, apart from their toys as it good to have them choose a toy themselves to play with.
They may begin to snatch, so teaching the words like “Ta” can help them learn the correct way if you do help them and be assisted with a toy. I have found that the earlier you practice “Please ” or “thank you” the more they will do it, and if they don’t, stop feeling bad like I have done and be hard on yourself, just keep reminding them and they will learn to naturally do this, and will be an example to other children.
They will throw a lot and get frustrated when they not able to do something. Tried not to get cross as this can lead to both of you having a tantrum, but show them them to place the item and encourage them to ask. This goes with as above good common courtesy and learn to share with children as they can start to begin to interact with other children and good when they can play nicely with no tears or tantrums.
The terrible twos can be tricky, and if you can get support from family and friends, then take them up on it. This doesn’t mean you are a bad mum, as we function better by having a rest and having some alone time. So if you can delegate them do so, and then continue with supporting your children once you batteries are fully charged.
It is a transformation and so the first tip, like my last blog, to take your time. Any concerns speak to your midwife and health visitor and never think you are being silly.
You don’t know how you are going to feel no matter how many baby books you have read, but it can be a a joyous occasion, and so if I had to talk to myself when my son was born, is to be more relaxed and taken it in everything and don’t get upset if you get things on. When in the Special Care unit. every parent would put the nappy on the wrong way or baby would do a week or a pooh, whilst changing a nappy.
I remember sons first bath. We had talked whilst having a coffee, on one of our first trips out, after our son was born, and it the plan was forgotten as my son’s dad, stripped him off before I got the bath ready and the water wasn’t warm enough and Henry was crying we began to argue and felt relived it was over.
Thankfully we learned for the second time.
Babies when they are first born, can lose a bit of weight, and then as they feed will gain wait. However if you have concerns then of course tell your doctor or health visitor, and I for the first month kept note that he had poohed and that he is weeing.
Henry had reflux and so we had to give him infant Gaviscon for it and would put a sachet into his milk and kept note again whilst he was being given the Gaviscon because you can use it up to 6 sachets each day, and this did stop the reflux and was advised by the doctors and nurses on the Special Care unit who used it and advised us to use it whilst he was still in hospital as he was Premature, and when we took him home, and used it up to 6 months or so.
If you are having breastfeeding issues but anxious about your breast milk or not wanting to breastfeed, then get help. I wasn’t producing enough, and I did all what the nurses advised to encourage my breastmilk to come through and watched on Youtube for tips. and only got a little bit, and thought I did well, only for it to be given back because it wasn’t enough. I felt defeated, but kept on, but it was stressing me out.
Now you can get counselling for it and if I were to have another child, would definitely go down that road and get support. If you choose not to breastfeed, then I believe this is choice and should not be judged for it. As long as your baby is drinking milk and is healthy then, that is what is important.
Next is sleep. When Henry was going to be discharged, we were offered to use their family room before we took him home and spend the night to get used to caring for our son, and neither me or my son’s dad, didn’t get a lot of sleep and the routine completely changed when we took him home for the first time. His first night at home he made a lot of noise and again didn’t get a lot of sleep and would sleep when he did, both of us and after our son would sleep through the night, and I would worry and check to make sure he was breathing and of course he was fine.
This changed when he began teething, but was able to sleep unaided and that is because we never made a fuss, the occasions when it was difficult was when he was unwell. Thankfully is a deep sleeper even now he is 8 years old. I know we aren’t all that lucky, but you adjust and if you get someone offering to look after your baby whilst you catch up on sleep accept the offer, as rest for new parents is a must.
I really hope this helps you and if you didn’t read my last blog then you can via this link Feeling Anxious when pregnant.
In the next blog I will be talking about Feeling anxious when they become a toddler and handling the terrible twos.
I have written books on parenting on amazon.com under the names of Carrie Challoner, Carrie Lee Holmes and Carrie Holmes.
Check out my new Truth About Parenting video, talking of the same subject above and inspired me to write this post.
When we have a child a whole new set of feelings begin, Will I make a good parent? How will I handle when my baby is crying? What do I do if they get sick? and so you get all these thoughts, and so, want to say it is normal and it is alerting you of what could happen, and so if you begin to go through the questions, then fear not it is normal, and being a parent it is a new responsibility.
Find a quiet space and go for walks. This really was a must for me and avoid parenting programmes. I didn’t and was not what I wanted to watch and if I do have another child at some point no longer will watch anything like that, like One Born Every minute and pregnant and 16, and so when I started to learn about each stage of my pregnancy on Youtube and from books, I felt a lot better and stopped the fear, that having a baby can bring, and it is hormones they are preparing you, so take the feelings in and put them to rest, by educating and not fearing.
Listen to your body. You will feel aches and pains, but doesn’t mean your pregnancy is in danger and the body preparing it self and so if you feel tired, take a nap and if you feel sickness eating dry foods like crackers can be help with Nausea and for me I had really bad indigestion and so would be careful of what I ate and drunk, like fizzy drinks, and drank milk which helped and ate a good varied diet, and be near a toilet, as you can wee a lot. Again never be alarmed and if you are worried talk about it with your midwife. I also had to give up running as it would cause me to be sick and I would get congestion but this was nothing to do with being pregnant but to due to the fact I do get Hayfever, and was pregnant during the summer.
Talk to your baby inside the womb. This will allow your child to get used to your voice and they can hear you, and so to ease anxiousness and bond with your baby. It will help you enjoy your pregnancy and playing music, sounds outside, can help your babies movement in the womb. I am not an expert but my experience and it helped my fears and worry and take in each trimester.
Enjoy the cravings. For me it was Chinese food, and so would take advantage. I went off chocolate and certain meats, but items like Chinese food I made the most of, but not too much as the acidity could effect my indigestion, and yes my son had a lot of hair and could see in my 25 weeks scan.
It doesn’t need to be stressful and can be a happy time. Just take in each step, talk to your Midwife and speak to them of any worries and when your child is born speak to your Health Advisor and with family, and if they offer their help then take them up on it and even contact me as I would be happy to help and the reason why I began this blog was to reach to other parents and help with any challenges that come your way like I have experienced and just have a chat. Please comment in the space below.
I have written some books on parenting to and my experience, and are on Amazon, under the names, Carrie Challoner, Carrie Lee Holmes and Carrie Holmes.
I as I wrote this want to create a series of Anxiousness when being a parent so will talk about when your baby arrives, When they become a toddler, the terrible twos, when your child is away from you and over when they start school.
Lots of my habits have stemmed from my Childhood, like being street wise, and that is a good habit and now my son is learning that, and we go through different street names to help for when he can venture out on his own know where he is.
This has helped me with my sense of direction as my trait there comes from my mum, because it is like the blind leading to blind, and whenever I got lost, she has become the first person I go too. Thanks too having a mobile phone, and thanks to maps on phones.
My sons sense of direction is good and this comes from his dad, and has a brilliant eye for observation and knowing where the park is and this has grown as he had a good memory quite early in his life and he instantly knows as we walk the same routes of where to go and where he can watch the trains, and knowing where the train station is, and it is important that he knows where he is going.
Doing errands and life skills. I from a young age was domesticated and many of my friend who would visit were surprised by that, vacuuming, cooking, laundry, grocery shopping and clean I just learned. I was quite slow at doing these things, but watching my Nan and my Mum, and from friends, these skills and habits were imbedded in me. . I still struggle with this habit, but I do a reset each week. I am currently doing an Autumn reset check out my blog site https://everyonecanbuildacastle.com This is going through different areas of my life and tidy up, complete tasks and projects, and reshaping my life so it can be better.
He knows where the food goes that we want to buy, and would help put items in the basket, he will tidy up his toys. He often needs reminded but he will without being told, tidy and its habits like that, that should become natural and that for me is a Keyword.
The other habit I have since being a kid, is being creative and my love of writing came from school and from Play school, and I remember my first day of school, we had to write a story, and the teacher would write it and then you copied. With my son at school it is very different now, but my son can write he just doesn’t always not want to do it. Yet he has improved and is now understands this his how he can communicate to his friends, and gonna make Christmas cards with him this year making sure he writes each week.
I love making cards and I see my son is enjoying this too, and is understanding now why he needs to write and do drawings, and as a kid we would always at school, practice our hand writing.
My son is beginning to come home from school and change his clothes and does this before he is allowed to play. He has come to learn about what the cooker is for and he will stir his food in the saucepan and where his plates go once finished. I did this at a early age too, and creating a routine which works around your kids, doing the same thing really does help their development and it did for me. The more they do something for themselves the more responsible they will become and this is from my own experience.
The on thing we have been really vigilant on is swearing. Kids will copy this and this is stemmed from my growing up, and yes I still swear but try my hardest not too, when my son isn’t around and replacing it with different no swearing words, as they will take this habit into school and so is a habit that definitely had to watch myself and thankfully he has learned that this is bad habit and I hope I am jinxing, has stopped doing.
It is all about learning and establishing good habits and stop the bad.
Just to let you know I have finished another book I have been writing, and is now published on amazon.com, called Mum&Me and so if you want to a good laugh then this book is for you. Its available on Kindle and Paperback.
Life as a parent comes with learning things you never thought you would, like learning how to get fit whilst looking after your kids. This is playing football and rugby and dancing. It is all about making time for fun with an element of education as it good that Henry learns about taking turns and making their bones stronger.
I get that Henry doesn’t want to do any homework after having a week of learning all week, so we do little bits so he doesn’t get overwhelmed, and if he does it we then is rewarded by playing some more. It is finding a good balance between doing some time outdoors or if it rains play indoors, and then school work.
Understanding our kids helps with having a better communication and today when Henry came home from school he was upset, so instead of saying “Don’t be silly” which I catch myself saying a lot, we had a cuddle and chatted about what is was upset about, and then we played some rugby, then watched a bit of TV and all was good again. Kids just want reassurance at times that there is a logical reason, and it was that his bestfriend wasn’t in the taxi today and he didn’t kick off or lash out, because we had a good “Mother and son chat”.
Often we can get stuck on situations, like Henry really wants to have his new friend sing Justin’s house theme tune, and he really couldn’t get the grips with why he couldn’t, and makes me understand that he needs to have friend he can have a playdate with, but of course speaking to his friend’s parents, but because Henry travels to school by taxi each day we don’t get to see them and so had to explain to my son that he has his own house, but perhaps write a note to Jason and ask if he’d like to join Henry one day and perhaps we could do something so his friend can help celebrate his birthday that is coming up.
There are ways around things and it is a lot of trial and error.
When it comes to understanding our kids, it can be hard to workout how to solve the issues your children are having and supporting their worries and when we can’t get to grips with what they want it can be frustrating for both parties.
There is away, and that is to sit and have a chat with your kids to work around it and remember they are in the room, and often when talking as parents we forget they are there and so important for them the be involved and “Where there is a will, there is a way”.
I do write books on being a parent on amazon in Kindle and paperback on Amazon, under my names, Carrie Challoner, Carrie Lee Holmes and Carrie Holmes, so please check them out.
First of all, thank you so much for following me, you mean the world to me and so happy you are liking my blogs.
Today the Queen is at rest at Westminster Hall in London, where I am from and would be there but I am on a course this week so couldn’t but we took, my mum and step dad, took my son up to London to Buckingham Palace last Sunday to pay our respects, and feel so good by doing so.
I am a Royalist and have been since a kid, but like many went against them for the while, the Royal Family because of Princess Diana. Then later on having to digest this have been able to forgive and forget.
So talking to your kids about the monarchy is important to me, because they are head of state and are here to support us in our country and play important part in the world, not just in Britain, and do so much for different communities, like raising awareness of mental health, which a subject very close to my heart, Princes trust helping young people have a better future if they have had a difficult upbringing and need specialised support. Then there is he Duke of Edinburgh award which is for young people to help to learning to be resilient and development of young people, going on trips and doing many life skills, that helps support their future.
I understand that this also about choice, and is up to you to believe in the Monarchy or not. Everyone has their own views and both I believe should be respected.
However I want my son to know about the Monarchy and I have been following all of the events taken place, and want my son to learn about it. If he chooses that he is not a Royalist that I would respect, but will still teach him about the Royal Family and the part they play for us being British and the world.
RIP Majesty Queen Elizabeth II and long live the King.
Yes, she has gone, Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II has passed away and it is slowly sinking in, and for me I want to see it as, “She’s putting her feet up at last” as she worked up until yesterday, when she died.
She was a doting wife, a mum and monarch, and I wonder how many sleepless nights she must have had, having four children and if she when she gave birth needed gas and air. She was still human after all and often i feel because she was head of state, it is hard to imagine, but she was.
She was a daughter herself and a sister and loved her sibling and worked together and wonder if they ever argued playing monopoly like me and my brother and who would get to be the banker, or connect 4. Or played card games as a family eating a meal together talking about the day’s events and she was strong in that she connected to the nation during the war and thought nothing of, but as her duty being a royal with her sister to give comfort to others and never worried how it would effect them.
There were tragedies, having a fire at Windsor Castle and divorces, but still did so much for others, travelling the world and enjoying the arts and meeting so many Prime Ministers and other heads of states, like Presidents of the United States and doing her job supporting the Commonwealth.
With all that though, she still had children to take care of and yes she may have had nannies, but she still was hands on and training them to be the next monarchs of the country and do good. She had to look presentable and she always dressed for the occasion and made the effort, and I do find that inspiring because I bet there were days she may have wanted to stay in bed, but was a Queen who and mum and wife, her duty and the forget she worked being 96 shows how important her role was to her.
Hello we are in September and for me is the time I have to plan for some birthdays coming up and so need to be very sensible about where my money is going. I am in no way blaming the birthdays effecting my spending on myself as I like planning what to buy for the birthdays coming up, its just I have to really get to grips of making sure I save for the birthdays coming up. On Sunday it is my nieces birthday and because she is older than her sisters and is a teenager now, I buy going on the age of each child, and get to grips with their current loves.
The price of a present should never be the factor, it is what the present means that is important. Get your kids involved and see what they’d like to give to that other child, and have them fill in the birthday cards, and if you have craft paper and tools, why not make a card, or gift.
Why not make paper flowers and The Works has materials for crafting and often used them to invest in crafting and so we will be making Christmas cards with Henry, and have him make some gifts, like photo book of images that you have saved, or give a DIY gift like craft tools as a present.
If they like books you can give a book token so they can choose the books from the store, or if they have a tablet why not buy them a Kindle Book as you can download the app and they use it take advantage. You can get books for free via Amazon Kindle.
Make a collage of you kids and write to a kids TV show where they show a child’s birthday, they say that everyone always have 5 minutes of fame, so why not if they love CBeebies for example you can send in birthday cards and will really put a smile on your kids faces, as that is the aim and will always have that to remember.
Get tickets to go and see a local football team. On my sons first birthday I saved and took him to a football match and even though it was raining we still had a good time. If you go to see a lower league team, often kids go free and pay on the day of the match. I know I may have mentioned this before in a previous blog, but is one of my favourite ideas, because it helps support the smaller clubs, or to a rugby match any sport is really good fun go to. This Sunday I am taking my son to watch a local rugby league game and he loved it last time.
Then there are local parks, and the gardens I have close to where I live, South park Gardens, and often there are kid birthdays, and as the days are still humid can still do and then there are places like Bocketts Farm and they host kids birthday’s as my youngest niece had her birthday there. Check out my Day in a life videos on Youtube as I have done a video showing me and my son at Bocketts Farm: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCUDFIqjVKLy7NhtcR6Hy0Tg
It is my birthday in September and so if you do too you can still have a birthday party and make it a family occasion.
I know a lot of people say that money doesn’t buy love, and is a false of all evil, but we need to have it to pay bills, clean our kids clothes and feeding our kids, so it is important to have money and to help our kids learn about it too.
This means teaching them how to shop, save, bank accounts and debit and credit cards. To begin with start with change and then build it up. I am going to begin giving Henry a monthly allowance now he is more aware of it, and put some more money into his bank account, which is a junior ISA and he is not allowed to use the money until he is 18.
I would advise as soon as they are born to do this. I want to invest in my son’s future, and him not being dependent to anyone and want him to independently with money and be sensible when it comes to investments.
Have them count change, I have a jar of change and so going to get his money box to count out how much money he has got.
My son the other day asked if he could swipe my card, when we were out shopping, but I was a bit hesitant about that. Next time though I will have him help, and show him ways we can save, like looking for items we need when shopping and how can we make our shop budget friendly. Have them learn about prices and what is a good purchase and what is not.
Play shops at home. Henry has a pretend till and for his birthday I’d like to get him some set of pretend shopping items to use with his till. However, because he is 9 this may be a bit to young for him, but would like to invest in items that will help with his development. This for me, is the time to teach when they begin to pay an interest and Henry is.
I want him to be good with saving and investing. I want him to budget and pay attention to the costs of items. This means teaching them to turn lights off when a room in the home is not being used, and keep the heat in at home. Be sensible about cooking and saving money on Utilities. It will help no end and allow them to play with money. I want to save his change because as far as I am concerned every penny does count.
So let get our kids ready for the big wide world and have fun with it. Play some games around money, like shops and I used to have a toy post office, which taught me the price of stamps and posting packages. Have them count the money we have saved and what we have purchased.
Teach kids about sales and when it is not a good sale, and if they are really making a saving or not.
It all benefits so lets make our kids be good with money so it lessons the worry ourselves.
There was a time when Henry would have certain meals because he wouldn’t eat any vegetable, yet this week, he has eaten Chinese Food, gone back into having a Banana, he has eaten berries. and this morning he had scrambled egg on toast instead of his normal cereal.
This could change, so treading carefully, but yes and has eaten Vegetarian food and avoided him having too much chocolate. I do thank my mum and step dad for helping, because now it becomes easier when it comes to meal times, and the tip I say is to keep trying. Not False feed, but say you can have chips on occasion but you have to eat your cucumber for example aswell.
Cutting all treats is a hitting a disaster, but minimising them, really helps widen their food choices. It helps when going out of meal. It can be hard to know what they will have and if they don’t have a kids meals. Now though many restaurants to cater for all, and so it is not restrictive. I didn’t have my first Curry until I was 21 years old.
My son will eat spicy food and again just give the a pea size amount at first when it comes to spicy dishes and sauces, it good for them to get used to different tastes.
Having chips everyday is not good, but a bit of everything. I now will eat Vegan food depending on what it is and helped conquer my fear of such food.
Kids taste buds change, and often when kids see you eating and is something different to what they have seen before may ask to try and so if they do, allow them to have a bit, just to widen their tastes, to just see.
Do check the nutrition labels just in case before making them meal, and why not get them involved in the cooking. My son this morning helped make his scrambled egg, and he asked me if he could. Never be reluctant as it is good for their development.
It all about trial and error. Never fear if they change their mind again, never make a meal out of it, pardon the pun. It is them growing and getting to know about themselves. Kids need to learn about cooking, aswell as reading and writing. It is all about independence and preparing them for the outside world.
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Music has so many benefits, such as teaching kids about sounds, different words and as a kid when I had to learn my timetables, my mum bought me a tape that was singing, but of the timetables, because I would listen to music all of the time.
It did help me and was a great way to learn, and to help with Henry my son, we use Oak Academy which has different classes and in their lessons, they sing a song, and it makes it fun and not like school work, yet in has benefited, in that his writing has improved and learning new words.
It is free service and no I am not sponsored, if they’d like to then that would be great, but no and it was my mum who introduced it to me and there are English lessons, maths, geography and Drama, etc and music is a good resource.
I am listening to music now as I write this blog and it can help with concentration, and when it is catchy kids will listen to it, and at school I did like music class. I did sing in the school choir at Primary School and then played the recorder, and was not a lover of school, which I have documented. If you’d like to see more of my content like videos and other blog sites then they are linked below.
As a kid I would sit in my bedroom and listen to music and is how I relax, and is like water it comes naturally to me and love having good sing. No I am no Jessie Ware, who I am listening to now, but I do have the music within me. I did Karoake and loved it and that I’d love to do that again as it is about having fun and you can buy them. I want my son to do more on music and it gets their attention.
My son has ADHD, so anything that helps support his development and grabs his attention I will use, as long as it is a good resource.
So, have fun and why not have a summer party and having kids sing songs is a great way to doing that.
Many thanks for reading,
Carrie X
Typical London Gal.
P.S: See link below where you can see more of my content:
So a while back, I think it was about two years ago my son was happily playing in the park and I was on my phone as often that it is a good time to do so. One parent who had about 5 or 6 kids, moaned that my son wouldn’t get off this merry-go-round, and was being rude and didn’t like the fact I was on my phone. All it was she wanted her child to go on there and not my son, because he had not had been on there for long, but she thought that it was well within her rights that her kids had first pickings in the park, but did she?
No, I then moaned back, I can’t remember what I said but it was that, I was only on my phone for two seconds and at the time it was important things coming through because he was in the process of changing schools, but she didn’t know that and just passed judgement.
Was she in her rights? No, because she obviously thinks that her kids are more important than other kids in the park and, like had a grudge of other kids being in there.
At the end of the day you will have parents who parent differently but got to allow kids to take their turns and I knew what was going, because she knew that was my son, and why should she think she is more important, and it was that my son hadn’t had a long go like the other kids that had used, it.
She had this attitude, whereby she didn’t think it is okay to share and why can’t my son go on the climbing frame along with her kids, as long they are safe, what is the issue? Kids just want to play and that is how they form relationships. But no allowing others kids have a turn is showing that it isn’t right to share.
I know it is right that we should stick up for our kids, but not when you make it unfair to other kids and there shouldn’t be a divide.
I find a apologise often now when my son wants to get on a seesaw and there is a child he doesn’t know on it, but they are okay with it. Its just those who feel that kids should keep a distance in that they shouldn’t play along with other kids they don’t know, but again that is how they form relationships.
Have you had that experience? Let me know in the comments and how did you handle it?
I have written books on parenting on amazon under the names. Carrie Challoner, Carrie Lee Holmes and Carrie Holmes.
So it is the first full week of the School Summer Holidays in the UK and today spent it in Wimbledon Park, because they have two playgrounds and a large lawn there to play football on for example, and not sponsored but is a good place to go. They often have a Funfair during the holidays which was there, but not set up yet. They have water sprinklers on for the kids and my son played there all morning and they have a pond where you can feed the ducks and the swans and have rowing and canoeing lessons there, so a lot to do and even have tennis courts and there were holiday clubs in those areas too.
Wimbledon Park, London UK 2022
I used the cafe there for food, and it is okay not expensive, but I had a sandwich and was not nice, but they do do some nice meals, and mainly for kids and sell hot drinks, sodas and different snacks.
Bocketts Farm, which I filmed a Day in a life video of when we had the Easter Holidays, and went last Sunday, and it is a good place for kids. They have animals and a few playgrounds, and has a softplay area and just a good day out. My son this time got to ride on a pony.
I’m not sure if I will be doing Theme Parks, but tomorrow I am taking Henry to the London Aquarium and have already pre-planed and is advisable, because like today we stayed local because of the train strike going on, and so should be back to normal by the time me and my son catch the train into London Waterloo tomorrow but gonna check tomorrow aswell in the morning just in case.
You can do boat trips along the River Thames and so if they are on I will book to see if we can go on one and then there are buses, but often if it is a heatwave can be too hot, but because it has been cooler here in London, UK, will do a bus ride.
So going to say goodnight, as it is 21:55, in the UK and have a good week ahead too.
The parenting adventures 