So at the moment I don’t see my son that often and I remember watching a video about Parent Anxiety and I didn’t really know what it was, but one night as I was laying down had this serge of emotion that I was missing my son to bits and it really got me, and now it is there and it is like “I want to see my son”.
I feel that my #mentalhealth wasn’t being seen correctly and taking persons child away because of it, is the wrong thing to do, as then you can feel you have no control and that I know how to look after my son, I just needed a bit of help and a bit of compasion, but not have my son see me for ages. It was as if my #mentalhealth hit at and not supported.
Spending time with my will little man is so important to me as it keeps me calm, I feel that I am needed and that I am loved and only me and my son can see the love we have for each other.
I soon will be with my son again aswell as be spending time I have missed with the new man in my life and NOW I MAKE EVERYDAY COUNT!
I focus on what helps my son happy and I like for example have some treats stocked if he wants a biscuit and I will sit with him to watch his favourite kids show, and we enjoy each others company more now than before. I am not saying that him being apart from me has helped, but being able to look after myself with #mentalhealth but I just didn’t want to be seen that I was doing wrong being a mum who was struggling mentally. It doesn’t mean we no longer care or we are neglecting our children, we care more than anything and when we are together it has been like we have never been apart.
I didn’t want to excluded as this doesn’t help mental health it just adds to it. I love my son and he will and has been top of my priority. I was not in a happy relationship so I took the initiative to end it, but I never stopped my ex-husband not see our son, I just didn’t want to walk out on him and now I am with someone else, it has helped me and him more, because he looks more happy than anything and I love him more everytime I see him, and excluding people from our lives has been one of the best things and be in a happy place again too.
I now have new man that appreciates me more than anything we aren’t like housemates like it felt like my ex and that is not having a pop at him, but that’s how we both felt. I am with a man who gets me more than anyone and why I not telling the whole world of who he is, as I want to keep that part of my life private, but it has made a huge different to me and to my son.
So if you share the childcare then be civil if you have split with their father, and make sure you kids are the focus and that your kids needs are met.
I have been working a lot with kids who have been abused and bullied and it is shocking the things that people who hurt kids do, and it can continue on through to adulthood, and they will try and hold everything they can onto the victims, like they aren’t doing enough to hurt.
There are kids being trapped in schools all over the world and why should they have to have this dealt to them?
For me, anyone that thinks it is okay to hurt a child is inhumane and has no idea of the damage they do, or if they do, they in some way get off on it. It becomes the norm to those who carryout abuse and bullying, yet for a kid it can feel like a life sentence because they are at fault for being a child.
If you want to protect kids and not want to be seen as guilty and not put in prison then don’t do it. Who has given you the right to take away a kids childhood. How would have you liked it?
So when you look at your children tell them out loud that you love them, and that if they have any fears or worries you are there to listen and be a shoulder to cry on.
Kids are worth listening to and looked at with honest eyes, not those who lie and kill kids.
So #letsworktogether to stop child abuse and bullying to keep our kids safe and have childhoods full of happy memories.
So today it is Easter Sunday, when Jesus was killed and a young man, when he was unbelieved to be the son of God, and was seen as a fraud. I am here thinking about my son, and wish he was with me, but I know he is in a much safer place. Not because I have ever done any harm, but there are those that have and so are keeping him away.
Can you still celebrate Easter after the holidays if not during?
Yes, of course. I am going to write a family book about Easter as I was chatting with someone about a month ago, how although we have the story of the death of Jesus read to us, I have not seen books around Easter, well not many anyway or songs. Now if you wish to challenge me on that, then do, so when I see my son I am still gonna give him his Easter Egg, and safe my other for another prescious child, My New Angel as i call her, and for the older kids in my family too.
I was so hoping I would be in my new home by now, but with moving it can often take its time, and I am going to use Summer instead of Easter to make them baskets and give gifts.
You can make seasonal holidays your own, they do not have to be set in stone.
What I would do is a Summer Egg hunt if you can’t do one around the holiday with your kids, and it will be like an added holiday and fun. You can have a Summer Kids Picnic and have each child choose a food or item to eat on the day, and when Lockdown ends, do this with each child and parent invited bringing food to add to the Summer Post Lockdown party, and I do think we should once it officially ends use that to celebrate, the Summer season.
Kids aren’t worried that it isn’t on the actual day of the holiday, they just like to be seen as kids who love the chocolate and the easter egg hunts, they would never say like an adult would “Oh well this is wrong having Easter Eggs during the week, I mean what are you doing”.
They just like to know they are loved by you, and are there to pick them up if they can’t always get up without a tear. Kids cry, i did anyway, I mean yes you could make a pond out of the amount I used to shed, but then I was fine as long as I knew that there was someone looking out for me.
So if you are like me didn’t see your kids this easter don’t fret you can always celebrate it when you are.
So this blog post is about Productive Parenting and no it isn’t about 25 to do lists, but making time for everything that surrounds parenthood aswell as getting stuff done.
There is a Youtube Content Creator who has a channel called Get Shit done, and it is really good in giving tips on decluttering and having a more organized life but not being a chore.
So lets think about getting out of the Lockdown because I bet you were praying for it to lift, not because you don’t love being with your kids but Homeschooling can take its toll.
1# Plan the night before of what you want to get done. This is where you can get your life together when you choose tasks that you like to do, which can then release the endorphins to do more. I find it gives you a head start and why not give your kids a list of 5 things to do, to help you
2# Teach classes in two hour blocks througyh the day. This way your children don’t get burn out and neither do you
3# Prep meals if they are back at school and you work from home, in the morning after you have dropped then off and saves you a lot of time after school has finished.
4# If you work from home then why not have a cleaning breaks throughout the day. The one thing I am looking forward to when I have my own home again is to have a declutter and buy new homewares decor items, and have your kids involved by having them write down what they would like their bedrooms to look like
5# When it comes to doing homework, rather than doing it after school why not in the mornings when they are fresh faced and there was one mum I saw who’s daughter was in Henry’s class, have her daughter reading in the car before it was time to go into school for the day.
6# Do some physical activity with your kids, like me and my son would have a dance in the morning. it is great way for you and your kids to wake up, and why not have everyone brush their teeth at the same time rather than one at a tinme.
7# Put together and create a Working from home mum Capsule wardrobe that you can grab rather at short notice rather than searching through your closet and feel like you can’t find anything to wear
8# Buy groceries online and you can buy many items from Amazon, and set programmes into your planner, so you can enjoy the food you bought and then can watch some TV without searching through and thenn it is all there ready for to have.
9# Delegate duties to your kids, like for example having them run their own bath and clean it after each use, and then it saves a job and it is always kept clean. I would put a little message to your kids, that once used please clean me afterwards, and have a hanging toiletry holder with a cloth and spray. If it is younger then put wipes for them to use for cleaning and then disposed of and in the bin
10# Have kids get rid of their plates and utensils, by having a pick up table, so a table where they pick up their plate of food take it to the table to eat, and have them help set the table and then have a waste and dirty plate and utensils station, and once cleaned and you have a dishwasher have them help empty it. This is great for their independence and it can bring smiles to their faces because you are allowing them free space and responsbility.
Being Productive doesn’t have to be things set in stone, but flexiblity helps wonders and helping them to be independent will help you get things done and teaches them life skills about looking after their home when they grow up
Hello and welcome! So each week I do a video as part of my Youtube series Truth about parenting, and this week the video I did was talking about Parenting Mental Health.
So now your kids should have returned to school and being Friday it is time for them to be off again until next week. Five Tips in Preparing kid for school without a hassle, is the topic of this blog post.
Tip1# If they have a weekend first before they return to school get all uniform, bags and snacks packed in plenty of time, so I do this the night before, so there is no rushing around.
I find kids respond better too when things are set out, and Henry will often grab his bag himself and I put all bags and coats by the front door.
So the next tip,
Tip2# Always have a Get Ready with me place for you and your kids where you usually spend time in the morning. This saves so much time and even have breakfast ready the night before.
This means having cereal already in a individual plastic container so they can just pour in the milk, or even in a bowl.
Tip3# Write a diary to prepare your childs mindset, as some kids might be a bit anxious about going back and this will help prepare them mentally so its not a drastic shock to get back into the routine of school.
Going back to school for me was an adjustment at times and often will have the fear of school because I work better on flexibility rather than a set structure and I think is one of the factors why I struggled at school.
Tip4# Good hack, put in their bags if they are in the early years and toilet training and you can even do this when they return to nursery, and that is use reusable clothes bags, that new clothes ordered online come in now, and put in for wet and dirty clothes, so if they do have an accident or get their uniform dirty by painting for example so it keeps rest of the items in your bag dry and clean. Let the teacher know that you have done that so they know and can use it.
The bags I go for is one that have the pocket at the front and ones at the side, as they are good to carry water bottles and putting sun cream in and other bits.
See these which are great to put snacks in and use as laundry bags for your kids to take to school and thesre are from amazon and do different sizes.
Tip5# Have a check list on the wall by the front door or in the place where you spend your mornings so you can go through whilst they eat their breakfast that they have everything.
I find using a White board to tick a check list is great as you can wipe it away and then do one at the beginning of each week.
So I hope you have had a good week and yes I am too looking forward to the weekend and soon I will be moving and so lots more blogs on this site and and my others.
Many thanks for reading,
Carrie L.M X
P.S: If you would like to see more of my blogs and video content please visit my blog network site:
Hello and welcome! Here is a new Parenting blog paying homeage to World Book day and Teaching kids to write books.
I wrote stories as a kid all the time and I worry that this soon will go out of fashion, yet it is a wonderful skill to have and even my nieces all love to write, and one of them, even had a poem she wrote like me and this is not to steal her thunder, but it has lived on in the family, published and I would love to show you a lovely story that my niece Ava wrote in school about her seeing my son Henry for the first time, her cousin and it was lovely.
To help them find them a book they love and create their own story like it, not too copy but to help inspire them with ideas to get them started.
Have them create a vision board to help them write notes and allow them to be as imaginitive as possible and bring the stories to life.
This could be a good Homeschooling activity, and I think this should be part of the National Criccilum, as the world is calling out for more writers and it was one activity knowing I hated school, that I actually liked.
I used card stock to make Henry a homemade book about buses, and you can do the same with your kids to help with their writing skills. Find pictures from a kids magazine they can use to include in it, or print pictures online and there are personalised books you can make, which Henry has many of, and have them write a story about a happy memory they had and have them read it to each other.
Me and a girl named Helen, at Primary school, would often do this and it a good way to help then be confident with writing, as you can be very self conscious at first about writing as being a writer I often doubted myself over it, and it is practice makes perfect.
I do feel handwriting is still important even with digitial services available, and if they want to type it up, let them. This will help with their IT skills which are important now and have them share it with their friends, and I have just had a Brain wave, and that is Creating a Kids World book club, and I want to with a very cuddly friend have different people read children’s book with him.
Another good way is to make story worksheets and I am going to make some printables to help my children and your kids to help them write stories, and to help them create a vision board for them and write notes and what resources they could use also to help them.
So I hope this is helpful, not long now for our kids to return to school and have a wonderful weekend.
If you would like to see my recent Truth about parenting videos then please click on this link below:
P.S: Please remember you can follow me on this blog and be kept up to date of my blog posts on this site and all my content is added to my network site:
In this blog post I am talking about 5 Skills for your kids wellbeing.
So with the internet it can, and it has be proven to cause kids to have anxiety and lack of self confidence and so it is more important now than never to look after our kids mindset and making life simple and easy living for them as much and as possible.
I have created a Printable with these skills too, which is completely free and I hope you find useful:
Let kids make their own choices. So instead of you picking an outfit for them, let them do it and have low sized wardrobes and racks, and chests of draws with handles so they don’t trap their fingers and choose their clothes for the day
Discuss mental health with your kids. This is so important as I became aware of my #mentalhealth at a young age and it helps them help you to meet their needs in terms of mental health and tell you how they are feeling
Teaching kids about mindfulnessand meditation. Once I get to spend time with my son and other children again soon, this is something that I’d like to teach them should they feel stressed and if they are having any worries, and if you as a parent not done this before, it is good for new parents too. I am going to talk about Mental Health, being a parent in a post or video, because it is a common factor. If they decide it doesn’t help them, then that is fine, but it is a skill worth practicing and you can use wellness flash cards so they can go through different emotions of mental health and again can discuss the different feelings of the human mind to help deal with mental health problems that can effect children
Have a child look after a pet. As a kid I grew up having cats as pets and knowing people who had dogs, and they can be a great source of wellbeing. I found it gave me a sense of responsibility and when the cat didn’t attack me, being “Target number one” he would sit on my lap and a cuddle with a pet can be a lovely sense of unconditional love
Do a project with your kids. So as many kids are off from school due to Lockdown, why not do projects, like a Science project, write a book, like a children’s book or have them do a computer project example: teaching kids on Desk Top Publishing.
So I hope these tips have helped you, and thank you to those who have liked and followed me so far on this site and I will be back with one next week, and if there is a topic you’d like me to talk about them please leave a comment below.
Many thanks for reading,
Carrie L.M X
P.S: You can see all my blogs and videos from this site on my network site:
Hello and welcome! In this Parenting blog I am going to share Teaching kids life skills and I mean, washing up, how to do their laundry, Cooking, Cleaning a car and general maintenance with your supervision of course.
I have created two new printables, 1. I created via the inspiration of my last blog post on this site, and 2. For the inspiration to write this post and is like a checklist of things to teach the kids different Life Skills that they will value when they are older. You can download and use right away free of charge:
I remember as a kid, as soon as I could see above the kitchen surfaces I was taught how to make a cup of tea, and would help out when it came to ironing as at one time my mum would do this every Sunday and have a pile together for ironing.
Yes it is the bottom of my list and yeah, and the iron I have, I won, yet it never gets used, but if you are someone who does and wish to delegate and teach your kids of how to iron, then yeah teach them.
The other thing is teaching your kids, what different cleaning products are for. So teach them about cleaning windows, mirrors and work tops. Make sure you show them how to safely administor the cleaning products and to wash their hands after use, but yes, show them the different products they need and have them cleaning the windowsills, floors and bathrooms.
How to safely meal prep and plan the meals for the week. Have them comply a shopping list and do an inventory list.
I would when I had a many video tapes, records and CD’s do an inventory a list of all the ones I had and would often sort these out in a alphabetical order.
Now you have a computer you can type up inventory lists of music, films and TV programmes you have stored in your planner and have children’s TV shows set in your planner too, so there is always something there for them to watch once they have helped you around the home.
Or have it on at the background whilst they help with daily life skills that will benefit them in the future.
My mum would often have a sponge for us to use to clean the bath once we had finished with it, and my nan would let us help out when she cooked like cakes and other puddings.
Normal everyday household tasks were subconciously there driven in me and so I never had to workout what the best way to clean kitchen was, I just did it without acknowledgement, it was just a natural thing to do. I am not a fan of cleaning at all but I know it does have to be done so I will but, not everyday. THAT JUST DRIVES ME MAD but when I am ready to. AND THAT IS A MOTO I like to stick to.
Don’t give kids too much to do at once as this can easily backfire and they get fed up and then you get frustrated because they can kick off and then, you end up doing it yourself anyway.
Reward them for their efforts. So this can be a list of items like watch a movie, a bit of TV, a favourite meal or a new toy. You can do like a reward chart, like if they do two items per week on the LIfe skills check list they can tick off the items on their rewards list that they would like to do.
Have set cleaning days for your kids to follow. Many kids like routine and if there is a particular day you want them to do some cleaning then set it and have a calendar just for your kids with a kids homeschooling and chores. So Sunday for example and breaks up homeschooling and then reward them with a roast dinner and a movie or a game they want to play of their choice.
It is all about making them independent and not rely on you as the parent so much but be there for support and if they need help with anything.
Kids want nuture, reassurance and be free to be kids, as after all we were all kids once upon a time and so we all deserve a childhood filled with love, happiness and fun.
Many thanks for reading,
Carrie L.M X
P.S: Please see all of my other blog posts and Youtube video content, via my network:
Hello and welcome! So it is time for another parenting blog post. In this post I am going to give tips on Good Home Learning Classes for your kids:
Have a baking or cookery class and get all each child to make a cake or a meal they love or how to cook a family meal. Have them choose a list of recipes to cook each week
Writing class have them write stories, poetry or even a blog post.
Letter writing class and how to create a C.V for the future and the skills they already have
Show your children how to create a vision board for themselves and what they would like to do when they are older, if there is a country they would to go to once Lockdown has been lifted and skills they would like to learn when they get older
A home dance class and how to put together a dinner party for friends and family to celebrate the end of COVID once it arrives
Reading classes and have a home book club where you read the same book or different one and what the books are about
Have a web development or IT course to help them for future learning and skills that will help them once their school years are over and start working or why not have a home and family website where other kids could create and share stuff, obviously with adult supervision so noone or unwanted people use it
Organization class and filing and have them file school documents or their art work they bring home
A home drama club and have your children create a play or a show that you can Zoom for other kids (their friends) and family can watch and still have contact with their love ones
Do a Science class, and their are tools and kids Science books that can give you tips and information
Art and crafts lesson where they can use dried rice and pasta or potatoes to create art work and “Thinking of you cards” for friends and relatives they can’t see at the moment
Do a home fitness class for your children and The Body Coach did a lot of videos for the previous lockdown and you can still use these on Youtube
Do a gardening lesson where each child can plant a seed and if you can’t buy these at the moment in stores then you can online and show them how to look after a garden and can plant a seed in the garden
Have a history lesson and talk about the Royal Family or about London or England, wherever you may be. Have them create their own family tree
Have childrens bingo evening or Quiz night. It can be as fun as possible and just helps them learn without feeling that is a chore.
Lockdown doesn’t mean that we have to stop using our imagination and just make days fun aswell as educational.
I have a new website which is a site to help children who or are being abused or bullied:
Hello and god bless you! So if you haven’t seen my previous blog posts you’ll know that I am doing a Youtube series of videos called the Truth About Parenting check my play list I have put together with all my recent videos and they are published on Youtube every Thursday: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL0AyektQNGDHQS_H-sYP1SS1xshX2NiVjs
So choosing books for your kids can depend on what they are interested in, but don’t be afraid to buy books not just for the age they are now, but when they get older.
I have saved many books I have read which would be suitable for kids for when Henry and other children I hope to have can read them, and I love a kids book and books by Roald Dahl are still great for kids, along with The Secret Seven, Famous Five and Billy The Kid and I have bought Henry his first book by David Walliams who is The Childrens book writer of this century.
If I said I was Enid Blyton I know there will be those who will say I am making it up so I’ll lie then should I? As I remember writing these stories at school and writing the name at the bottom of the page. Never be ashamed to take ownership if you are child writer too, as being unbelieved you are always going to get those sorts of people.
I am a lady of the classics and so I will be getting books like Oliver Twist, The Hobbit for when my kids are older and I hope they enjoy these too. I am not someone who goes back to books but stories by certain others I do.
Never be fearful of looking in Charity shops and Poundland, as they do great kids books too, along with The Works and they usually do a deal where you can by a group of books for like fiver or a tenner and on Amazon too.
When you do, they will also get a free credit each month which they can put towards a book they like and I love having this on my phone and is great when you don’t have time to sit and read, it is a great alternative.
I will be doing videos soon, where I tell a Childhood story but have a better room to film and has better lighting. I also hope to be working along side some people when doing this.
So as we are in Lockdown because of the Pandemic, have a story time or a reading time. It is a great family relaxing thing and I love books and has been part of my life for 40 or so years.
Many thanks for reading,
Carrie L.M X
P.S: All my blogs and videos are uploaded to my network site:
Hello and welcome to a new blog for this week and I have done my Truth about Parenting video, which is more on things you don’t get told about and that is Breastfeeding and how long it can take for your milk to come through after your babies born, when you first bring them home, pooh explosion, hypnotherapy, teething and Eczema.
In this blog post I am giving some more Top Ten Parenting strategies about “Creating Bonding Time”.
Use bath time and baby changing time a therapy for your baby, because they will be more relaxed when being bathed and changed and I used to sing, talk and make up words to nursery rhymes that I had forgotten the words of and my son loved this time. Baby massage is a great class and thing to do, as we did bond so well and he would look forward to it like I did, and it quiets down the madness of the days that parenting can bring
Teach kids the old fashion games, like a card game or board game. As a kid I was always playing card games with my Nan and Grandad on Saturday, and would play all day long. It is great to get everyone playing. There are loads you can play Jim Rummy, Pontoon, Crib and the first easiest game snap or matching pairs
Quiet time. This is important to help kids wine down for the day, and read a book, watch a bit of TV or listening to a kids audio book. There are even children’s shows like the midnight garden on TV for the end of each day
Find a song that you both love and get up and dance. Me and Henry would often do this before it was time to go to school and it would wake me up and him and make walking to school afterwards painless, as at first I found the school run a real mission
Take them to do homework in a coffee shop rather indoors. Now of course we are in Lockdown, but once it shifts this is something I would do with Henry some days after school and he would have his favourite a chocolate muffin and I would have a coffee and it would be a change from the usual routine and would see other parents do this with their kids and still get homework done
Go for a kick about. Now my son has grown out of playing football all of the time, but when he was into this, we would play a mini game of football and was great for him and me to spend time playing in the fresh air
Have a Tea party. So my nieces loved it when they were taken for an Afternoon tea and I have done this too, and even with Lockdown we can still have an Afternoon tea, just bring it home if not able to do it outdoors, and order online or go the supermarket, make up some sandwiches, cup cakes etc and have a at home Afternoon Tea Party. I had to do this once with some other girls when earning one of my badges at Brownies. You can make it as fun as possible and have the kids help get the food ready and table
Have an evening with everyone in Pjs and mattresses, blankets and pillows in the living room and have a movie night with snacks including some popcorn. This can be now, as I bet like me, we all have movies stashed away somewhere which we can pull out to use especially now in the third lockdown
Do a kids games night, where you can endless games like Give us a clue, that was a household favourite, pictionary, there is a Tipping Point game out now and this is Henrys Ultimate Favourite at the minute and even have a Connect 4 tournament
Have the kids camping in the garden, with a tent and if you have a big enough garden make a bonfire. I loved camping as a kid and do know parents who have done this and it is great fun. They used to have at Legoland Discovery centre a sleepover night and in Manchester Sealife centre, so check when these are back on as could be a great family evening
So I hope you are getting through Lockdown and these are but a few, and honestly having an extra day snuggling with my son, makes up for the days I miss being without him. Parenting is about bonding and spending family time, and is why I love being a parent and a mum.
Many thanks for reading,
Carrie L.M X
P.S: To be kept up to date with the blog posts I write on this site on a regular basis please follow me and you can see all my blogs and video content on my site:
Hello and welcome! So I have built a new website on wordpress called The Arch Angels Network, and did you know a child dies everyday from child abuse and bullying?
It is so easy to be a target with the wonders of the internet, and this includes kids committing suicide and going missing because they are experiencing this at home and run away.
In this video I talk about this subject of kids dying from abuse and bullying, please see video below:
When it comes to abuse and bullying in a childs home it can be very difficult to monitor and stop because the thing about Abusers and Bullies they manipulate and can often be a family member or a close friend.
I think if we had more Policing in schools would make a difference and sitting down with parents to discuss it and kids organisations, because it is still happening and needs to be stopped.
I would be interested in your thoughts. Please leave a comment below.
Here is the link to my new website and if you would like to share your story of being abused or bullying then there is a contact form provided on this site and remember there is always National childrens bureau, childline and NSPCC.
Being a Parent comes with humour, example instead of story time being quiet time it is often me and my son giggling, to the point we are both laughing so much that I struggle to get to the end of the book or even the first page.
Kids are timeless, because they will often do things where by you say “Well, I did not see that coming” and it is a tantrum over not being able to join in a Professional football match, and is upset that normally he is allowed to join in, but here he can’t.
He would start chucking sticks over into someone elses garden and kick his ball over the fence thinking he has invented a new game, whilst you say “Please don’t do that, the last thing we want to do is piss of the neighbours do we”.
He will eat something that usually he will not even go near, or something new will catch his eye, like when I first took him to school we would have to be on Squirrel watch and then it was planes, helicopters, buses and he will always chase a pigeon.
I did a recent youtube video as part of my Truth About Parenting series, of Games kids love to play and they love playing as soon as they learn to walk “Catch me if you can” and he thought it was hilarious to hide the TV remotes, and put food and cards into the Wii game console. He would take the CD’s and DVD’s out of the X-Box, and pinch your glass of water.
My son at first would chuck everything including his toy bricks which I also talked about in that video linked above, and would play with socks and his pair of pants.
Kids are funny little charactors and all can be so different yet still so funny. I do love being a mum and I linked a video of someone saying they didn’t always like being a mum, which I did feel at some point, but now I love it, and every day with my son is a blessing. I hope to have more children as I love being a parent and would even adopt a child too.
So let our kids continue to do funny things and hope we can take them on days out again once Lockdown has cleared.
Many thanks for reading,
Carrie L.M X
P.S: I do have a Pinterest board dedicated to this site and so please see it below:
Hello and welcome! So in this blog I am sharing details of my New Child Safety course to help parents, kids clubs, organisations and institutes protect children, and stop them from being Abused or Bullied.
My course will consist on written information, blog posts, PDFs and Videos.
I have already added the Introduction to the course on the course I am developing and on Youtube and my follow on video, below, is talking about How in the UK we can be more vigilant, and petrol kids settings by having Police Officers working with these clubs, schools, Nurseries and clubs.
I have also set up a new site called The Arch Angels Network, using WordPress aswell which is for Kids being Abused or bullied and is an extra place for them to go and get tips and information.
Here is a new parenting video “The t=Truth About Parenting” Dealing with Tantrums and the bet approach in stopping them. I find not laying down punishment but talking to my son who starts to begin a tantrum is better, and a lot more effective.
Please see video below:
I talk about Jo Frost and I have watched her and read one of her books which were helpful and so if you be interested in one of her book then here is a link, and I too have written books myself on sharing my story of being a parent.
Hello and welcome! So it is Saturday and I have got up early to start work and wanted to write this post which I think looking at the title I have written before, but that is fine. It is good to go back to prevous posts as life does change and so many things like my parenting skills have changed and grown too.
The Truth About Parenting I think is going to be a potential book idea, but want this to be a regular feature for my Parenting blog.
Here is a Youtube video I have done. The first one for a while on being a parent and is an intro video to this regular Parenting theme.
There are lots of things that you don’t get told when you become a parent and part of you thinks that it should come naturally but for some it does not.
Parenting is a life changing event and can turn your world up side down. I love my son, but a lot of it baffled me at times, and would say “How do I deal with this?” as my son has a meltdowns when I have taken him shopping and grabbed items of the shelves, making a load of tins and jars fall on the floor. It is an entire new world, one that I struggled with at times, but I have gotten through it, and I hope with my blog posts and videos I can help you too, if you have struggled being a parent for the first time.
So enjoy watching and many thanks for following me on this blog site, it does mean the world to me, and many thanks for reading,
Carrie (L.M) X
P.S: I do have a dedicated Pinterest board on my Parenting posts so go and check it out:
So, it is another day of Lockdown and Henry has been with his dad, but we did get to spend some time together, and as soon as we see each other, we give eachother the most out of this world hug to the point I could hug him all day.
Kids need love in their lives, so they can give it to others too, and be kind to other people.
Teaching kids love is teaching them to be respectful to their friends and others, and to love themselves too.
As a kid it was perceived when I was a kid, to some wrong to love yourself.
There are kids who need extra love as they can be very insecure from early on than what we think, and I bet due to COVID and Lockdown, they have no idea as what is happening and somewhat confused, so this is where we should be loving our kids through and through, because it I think they know something is happening but not sure what.
Teaching kids about Love is important for their upbringing because it should never be used just for the sake of it off, and often I can be target number one if my son can’t have his tablet or watch Tipping Point as parents, becaue we are the closest person to aim at. I know this is not really aimed at me, but is him telling me he doesn’t get it when he can’t have those things.
I see in his face, if he is wondering if he is being punished in some way, and I try to reassure him that I know he wants these items, because they are important to him, and that is isn’t due to him doing anything wrong, but these items need charging or TV programmes are scheduled for certain times of the day, but once his tablet is charged or it is the time of day, for when his TV show is on, then he can have them still.
I do try to not get cross when I see why he is kicking off, because often it is frustration, because he understands but now feels lost without the daily toys he likes to play with. My son really struggles when he is being told or being explained to as to why he can’t have something, and it breaks my heart when I can see that he isn’t understanding.
Kids from an early age can struggle with their emotions and so, they should be valued and listened too. Never cut them up, or stopped from speaking. It is their right to do so. As soon as you shut a kid down, it makes them feel self conscious and not important, which they are.
Words aren’t just words when it comes to kids, as when they say something it is meant and should always be allowed to express themselves.
Henry, is such an emotional child, like I was and his father, that I am self aware of how I communicate to him and that I am here to listen, not judge as that can really cause friction between a child and a parent, but just listen.
Once you’ve listened then ask questions such as “What would make it better?” or ” What would you like to do that would help?”, “What would you like me to do, to help you?”
Since becoming a parent I have learned so much about life and love from him, and my nieces, than I have from other adults at times, because when you see things from their eyes, they look at life as a whole. Henry loved the outdoors as a kid, and to him lots of things fascinated him. Trains, Buses, Helicopters and Planes. To him they were amazing items and on the way to school we would often need to leave extra early so he could enjoy his surroundings as much as possible. To him those things are his loves aswell as me and his father, and I never ever want to destroy that. Love between me and him I see is important to him. His Cousins and school friends, and teachers are what helps me and him look forward to each day.
Love should be shown all the time, and never be forgotten. Stay Safe and Stay Strong. I am putting together a Child Safety/Child Protection Course, on my Education Network, so once this has finished I will let you know.
To keep up to date of all my blog posts on this site, please click the follow option below.
Many thanks for reading,
Carrie (L.M) X
P.S: I am putting together a Programme for this year, and it is called Project 2021, and will include a load of Life Coaching Tools and Information, so please see link for details:
So Christmas is now over and we are in a Lockdown again and so could have a house full of bored kids, well fear not, as there are things you can still do, and that is have a kids Tea Party, and make loads of cakes, obviously may mean a trip to a Supermarket, but getting kids to bake is so rewarding and because they made them will eat them.
Image from: Deposite photos
The other thing you can do is buy gifts for them where they have to build things, or even things like empty boxes, Tins, Food Pots and Tags off of clothes. You know you get those little Ribbon bits on your clothes, which are for hanging them, cut these off and they make brilliant ribbons for handmade gift tags.
Have a movie day or evening with picky bits, and have all your kids in the Living room and play back to back movies. This time of year they usually put on some films which are family favourites, such as Home Alone, ET, Wizard of Oz or The Sound of Music.
The other things you can get them to do, is to create Thank you letters or cards to Santa, but to family who helped Santa choose their gifts. I know there are many shops still closed but you can still order bits online and there are Stationary shops like Whsmiths open.
Have them create home videos to Thank Santa for the gifts they got and post it to the family who helped buy their gifts.
Image from: 123FR.com
If your kids were given vouchers have them search for some items, as gift cards can still be used online, to buy with them or have them make a list of items they would like to buy with their gift cards, then see if the items they would like are available to purchase.
Play games like musical chairs, musical statues, give us a clue a home favourite, but I did used to cheat and my brother too, as he would talk which is not part of the game or board games or teach your children some card games.
The Classics are still going strong and my son loves Playing Connect 4. At Secondary school me and my friends created a Connect 4 championship where you can win a cup, which I earned and felt like making a speech, but then the bell went.
Create a lucky dip. So easy to make. All you need is a cardboard box, some newspaper or tissue paper, cellotape and wrap some little toys or L.O.L balls, and get each child to pick out a hidden present in the lucky dip box. Remember to put a slot in the box or play another classic pass the parcel.
Buy a small Karoake machine and why not invite some of your friends children for a playdate. I know we aren’t supposed to have huge numbers in one place, but 2 to 3 kids extra I don’t see what harm they can do, just make sure when they come into your home that they wash their hands and if they have a cold and you feel that they should stay away then let their parents know, but remember they are kids, so should not be excluded but you can send them a little something from you and tell them when they are better that they can come to a playdate another time, that will still put a smile on their faces and give them an extra present too or create them a personal lucky dip, with hidden items in.
I know we are in Lockdown but we should not allow us to be restricted.
Another thing that you can do is buy your kids a Scrapbooking kit and use many different types of craft paper and glue, and stamps. I as a kid loved putting things into my scrapbooks of what I loved at the time and store many memories. These are great things to do, that create fantastic memories and can share when they return to school, or when they have kids of their own.
I am a big believer that kids should be allowed to be kids and have many different activities and have sweets, and be able to just be, instead of being controlled all of them time.
I loved it when I was able to playout on my Estate I lived, as a kid and pretend to be mums and skate and ride our bikes, that is a childhood, not being told you can’t do this and can’t do that. Just let them be a child and enjoy their childhood with many games and things that make them look forward to.
We should still be able to have fun and enjoy the time we have with our kids, and why not if you have a fireplace, lite it, with a hot chocolate and all chill watching some good Post Christmas TV.
Being a mum of a now 7 year old there many things I look back on that I wish I had stayed clear of, because when you have just had a baby you are very hormonal and what life to be stress free as possible, as some things can add to our hormonal states.
Here are Ten Things to Stay Clear of when you just had a baby:
Don’t bother with a manual breastpump, as you will be there all day and can make you feel defeated and so it is electrical all the way. Of course if you can feed your baby directly from the breat than that can be a lot more convient, but if your baby has trouble latching on keep trying, but express can still help give your baby your milk, if you want to.
Moses baskets. It was great for a couple of nights but I was so paranoid about it tipping over and so if you are bringing home a new born baby, by a crib or smaller cot, as they are a lot more stable and there are ones you can buy that has wheels.
Programmes like 16 and pregnant as it will be a tearjurker and cause unneccessary anxiety. Instead watch items that shows you the progress of each stage of your pregnancy of birth, as I found this kind of TV or video to be more appealing as it makes it into a wonderful journey.
Too many Trebor mints. As I was having a lot of indigestion when pregnant was trying to eat and drink anything hat put it at ease, and having a trebor mint did help but then I ended up having too many, meaning I eventually felt sick having anymore. You can have the hot water and honey and works wonders if you have indigestion whilst pregnant, but don’t drink this once baby is born and you are breastfeeding.
Free nappies. We were given a load of free packets of nappies at a baby show in the Oympia Exhibition centre and did hold very well in that Henry had a massive pooh explosion when he was first bought home, and threw those free nappies away. Either use Pampers (Not the two in one), but for each age or Chicco ones.
Bumpers for cots. I read a really terrible story about a baby who got caught up in a bumper in his cot and so don’t by these as they are very dangerous and a few times I found Henry underneath it. Honestly you do not need them.
lightweight pushchairs. I have changed my mind on this, because I did find some pushchairs quite heavy but there is a reason for that, and that is because when you attach bags to them they won’t easily tip up, or easily brake, and I will when I have another baby, have them in baby carrier close to my chest most of the time.
Certain baby bottles. As talked about before we when I was due with Henry bought a load of bottles and only used one, but was told to change it as they hospital where Henry stayed for month before we could take him home recommended Avent bottles.
Tight leggins or jeans. When you have just had your baby, even if it is C-Section avoid anything too tight around your waist or abdominium and have light, very stretchy clothing as you will bleed a lot and want to be comfortable.
Going bra less. Whilst breastfeeding and when you first nurse your baby as they will leak and so wear good nursing bras and purchase some breast pads.
This is my last post on this site before Christmas and so will blog more Post Christmas. I really hope you have a bloody good one, and if someone asks to hold your baby and have washed their hands, then let them whilst you have some free time.
When it comes to bringing home a new baby all want to do is hold them close but you do need to rest too, and so if someone offers to hold them and look after them for a bit, then take them up on it.
Please remember if you would like to be kept up to date with my blogs on this site, then you can click below to follow me.
All my posts will be found on my Squarespace site:
Christmas should be a time where we spend it with those we love and cherish and a time to forgive and forget.
However there are some things that you should be aware of to make sure all of your children in your family are safe.
Tip 1# Avoid babies pulling Christmas crackers as the wooden piece inside can spark and the toys within Christmas Crackers can easily be picked up and swallowed.
Wait until they are aware of a Christmas cracker and pull it so the little toys and bits full onto the table and have a plastic container to put them in.
Tip 2# Don’t serve a childs food that has been warmed in the oven as china plates can be really hot and burn their fingers
The last thing you want is your young children having nasty burns, and if they help out with the cooking, then keep them away from the cooker or hobs in case they do touch them.
Tip 3# Be careful of the thorns from a real Christmas tree as they can hurt if they tread on them with bare feet or hands, and keep pets away too as they can get the thorns in their paws.
I have always had when I decorated a for Christmas is have a plastic tree as saves so much money and the thorns never fall off as they artificial.
Tip 4# Don’t put trees near fireplaces as they can catch fire, and the last thing you want is a fire in your home.
This applies to gifts being put underneath a tree, and never alite a candle near it either, or place a candle on top of a TV. I remember someone did this at Butlins. Not a good idea at all.
Tip 5# If you buy secondhand toys which I have done in the passed make sure all bits are there and look for wear and tare. Also if there little bits and pieces that come with a toy, make sure that they are kept in a bag away from very small children as they can still up to 3 years old, put things into their mouths.
I choked on a Spearmint once on a bus and so it can easily happen. If young children play such games supervise them all the time.
Tip 6# Be careful of lighting the Christmas pudding never do it with a child next to you, do it on a table away from them and avoid putting money inside, which was the old tradition once upon a time.
The tradition where you would put money in it has long gone as the coins are a lot smaller and thinner, so can easily be swallowed.
Tip 7# Make sure toiletry products are sealed and away from Children, and avoid buying skincare products with perfume for kids, as many kids like Henry my son, has ended up with an allergy to them.
I always buy fragrance free for my son, because in the summer he can get really bad eczema from head to toe, so I buy Sanex and the Boots own kids moisturiser.
Tip 8# Don’t have their money in their hands as muggings can be frequent this time of year, so show then where to keep it safe. All cash should be Zipped up in a purse or wallet at the bottom of their bag, and give them a gift card rather than cash, as these are rarely stolen and can be put together with your bank cards.
I rarely give my nieces or my son cash, but as my two nieces are older and don’t really have an interest in toys, I will give them a gift card they can use, as they are proper girls, love to shop just like me.
Tip 9# Keep kids away from Alcohol. It is tradition in my family to have a Snowball, but being a mum myself do not want my son drinking any kind of alcohol until he reaches teenager years. Of course the Christmas pudding in usually dressed with Brandy which is burned through the pudding, but do a plain one for the kids, as we don’t want anyone puking because of the Brandy, and of course some serve it with Brandy Butter.
If they decide when they are older to still not drink then honour their wishes as not everyone is keen on drinking anything alcoholic, and stick to soft drinks.
Tip 10# Avoid kids from drinking out of a glass, because if they a drop it and it smashes, cleaning glass up can be a task that you can be forever finding bits of glass every where in a whole week. Give kids a beaker rather than a glass, as if they tread on glass they can easily hurt their feet.
Glass shattered can go everywhere and should be avoided, and the same for China plates. If they are toddlers have their own plates, with knives and forks.
So, those are my tips to keeping your kids safe this Christmas and I am going to see if I can fit in another blog on this site before the big day, but for now I wish you a Merry Christmas and if I don’t blog before Christmas day, I hope all your wishes do come true and your children love it.
Many thanks for reading,
Carrie (L.M) X
P.S: I am raising money for the Charity Tommy’s this year, as it was seven years ago that my son was born premature, and they offer support to families who has experienced premature births or stillbirths and help raise awareness too:
To help our kids get the most out of Christmas it is good to have family traditions, like my family have had, example: anyone over the age of 21 don’t receive gifts from my Uncle and Aunties anyone, but will buy a gift for the kids in the family, and as a kid it was traditional for my Grandad Skinner to slice the Turkey, and we as kids were allowed a Snowball, which is Advocate and Lemonade and to give it an extra kick add in a piece of lime or lime juice and a sweet cherry.
Kids should have tradtions that they can continue on to their own children they may have one day.
I now go for a walk every Christmas Day and Boxing Day, or would go for a run, as I would take a break from Running and start up again on Christmas day.
I am still going to have snowball this year and will be buying the little bottles, and add a bit of ice as it can become warm.
You can add in traditions of making your kids Advent Calendars rather them buying one. I did this for my son Henry last year, and still got to do some of the activities I included in it.
All you need to do this, is get a unit which you can pull out boxes or I used a reuseable cardboard box, got some little boxes from Amazon and put in little toys from Christmas Crackers my mum had with some bits purchased from Poundland and some chocolate included.
My son, Henry loved this and will do this again as it is good to have a tradition where you make them their Advent Calendar and they make their own Christmas cards.
As a kid one of us Grandchildren would be the one helping my Grandad distribute the gifts to each person who was there, and then the adults would play a card game after Dinner was finished.
We would sit down and watch some good Christmas TV, and Uncle Bark and Uncle Corby would often have a Christmas show, along with Morecombe and Wise and Cannon and Ball and Comedies like Only Fools and Horses, some mothers do have ’em and TV shows like Top Of The Pops, to see who would be Christmas number 1. Their was the Horse Guards Parade, in which Her Royal Highness, Her Majesty The Queen Elizabeth II would attend, along with other members of the Royal Family.
I have a feeling I went to this, as this would be held near my Nan Skinners, in the Earls Court Arena, but not sure.
They were often Royal Horses in this show, at which my Auntie Fai new well as she would look after the Queen Horses in her younger years, alongside The Duchess of York’s Father.
We would go to the pub before going to my Nans, along with my Uncle and Aunties, and then we would go to my nans before they got back. My Dad had quite a few by the time he got back to have dinner at my Nans, and often got into a debate over football.
If you want a good family Christmas don’t talk about football.
Then on Boxing Day we would go to my Nanny Roses as this was her birthday, and would have drink in the Bedford first. My Nan Roses drink was a Gin and Tonic (G ‘n’T), and had a cabinet with this in and noone was allowed to go near it. It was her secret stash and wanted it to be kept that way.
So kids and family traditions do mix and is a good combination as they will tend to follow it on and have more happy Christmases to come.
When we are kids we know or at least I knew without being told that when Christmas came it meant that there would be a new year coming by, and time to make our resolutions.
To help kids grow we should make Christmas and New Years a big deal, as not everyone person gets to relive their childhood and should be part of their growing up. Get them to create DIY banner to celebrate the new year.
It Keeps them busy whilst you do your errands or want to watch a bit of TV, or you can all get involved, with some festive drinks to go with the designing of a new years banner.
Kids like to be kept busy, because like my son Henry he constantly has to have something to do, otherwise he becomes boystrious and disruptive.
Have your kids set goals and new dreams for every new year, and as a kid I am glad my mum took us up to London on New Years Eve once and got to see the fireworks. I haven’t done that since back when I was a kid, but is worth going to, and as I see it, it is another year you are alive for and should be full of fun and dreams.
Rumour has it that a certain Virtue Reality star with her Love, Lee Mack, will be appearing on the Joules Holland show. Lets see if this happens, and who will be shocked and I do have many family members who do watch this, and I wish that they will be amazed when they see her.
Now I know we are still on a kind of Lockdown, which I keep being reminded of, but should that stop our kids for enjoying themselves and having a party table of their own? No!
Have them create posters, with photos and images printed from Google of what they would like to do in the new year.
Make homemade hot chocolate and if you have a fireplace heat some marshmellows.
A chocolate log always goes down well and I am going to have one of those this year, as they are lovely and scrumptious cakes and everyone can share, or why not, like you can do for Christmas have them bake a cake for the new year. Who says you can’t have cake at New years aswell as Christmas?
My Nan Skinner would often let us stir the Christmas cake mixture and then make a wish, and then yes, lick the bowl.
I would often have a DVD night on New Years Eve with some bits to eat, and it is great to have the whole family seated watching films and chilling, and then toasting to the new year.
Let your kids stay up late if they want to, as these times and memories should be cherished.
So I wish you all a wondeful Christmas. I will try to fit in another parenting post before the big day, but if not, I will post on this site Post Christmas and go over the year gone.
Many thanks for reading,
Carrie X
P.S: Please check out my JustGiving page which I have set up to raise money for a Charity called Tommy’s. All donations will be welcomed, and many thanks in advance:
Hello and welcome to a new parenting post. I am writing about becoming a parent, as it was 7 years ago that my son was bought home after spending his first month of him being in the world, in hospital.
Was I prepared? No! It was massive culture shock and I have created an Ebook to help you prepare for your baby who has come into the world.
When becoming a parent be aware that they can make a lot of noise especially at night as they are adjusting from being in your womb to being in the big wide world, and many babies when inside your tummy will be active mainly at night. The way to give your newborn baby reassurance as they do look for this, even when being a newborn baby, by swaddling them into a blanket or there are Swaddling blankets you can get.
Babies don’t have no sense of time, but they sleep mainly during the day. Henry at first didn’t like to be left in his Moses basket to sleep, so mainly slept when I was holding him, and they will even in the early years when you pick them up, become hungry because they associate you with food. This can be disheartening at first because you want them to associate you with love and effection.
They will do, but they can be super hungry when they are first born.
Never worry too much on breastfeeding, but do it if you can and if you want to. Formula is okay even at new born anda baby will still get the nutrients it needs.
If you want to be shown how to properly bath your baby then speak to the midwives to show you, and practice with a doll first. I wish I had and been much more prepared in this area, as my sons first bath at home was diasterous because someone stripped him naked even before I got the bath ready.
The NHS method of safetly bathing a baby has changed, even from when Henry was born 7 years ago, here is a video they have created to show you, how to safetly give your baby a bath.
Don’t buy too many baby gros and nappies as once your baby is born they grow so quickly.
Getting organized for Christmas with a new born can be a lot of weight on your shoulders so delegate if you can, and doing a wish list online, such as on sites like Amazon, so they can see what you want to buy for family and friends and get your partners before baby is born so you don’t have to worry about this at all.
Don’t be put off in wanting items for yourself as being the mum of a new born, you can do with a treat or a splurge so do so, and no, do not feel guilty by doing this at all.
The main things you need to think about:
The other items are, take in a good book and put some music on your phone to listen too, as when I have another child this is exactly what I am going to do.
Having a baby is no easy task, and so if there are those that can lend a hand then take them up on it.
So I will be writing more and if you have just had a baby, then Congratulations.
Many thanks for reading,
Carrie (L.M) X
P.S: I am raising money for the charity Tommy’s as they do a lot of work to support and raise awareness of Stillbirths and Premature births, so here is a link to my JustGiving page if you would like to make a donation. Many thanks in advance if you do so:
If you haven’t seen blogs on my other sites then please go to my Squarespace site and I have added a new Youtube page where I will add my Youtube videos.
If you have read my posts for a while you’ll see that I talk a lot about teaching kids many things, and the one thing I would always encourage is to help kids to create dreams. There is no age restriction when it comes to developing dreams of their own.
Children will begin when they become 4 or 5 aware of themselves and start to build likes and dislikes more as they continue to grow. My son love buses and trains, and so last year for Christmas I made him a homemade book about buses.
There are books available also about buses. I bought my son a couple of books from Amazon about buses.
If you child loves football then go for a kick about with them, and invite some of their friends if they can come along. I know there is another lockdown, but doesn’t mean you should stop being with people, and in my local park, South Park Gardens there are a load of kids having a good time having a game of football.
As a kid I loved music and was bought a new single or an album. If they love playing a musical instrument then buy them a simple books of tunes to play, or book them some lessons on playing an instrument.
I knew a guy I worked with at Sitel who played the Guitar, and playing a musical instrument is a great skill to learn, because it helps them with co-ordination.
Have them write down their dreams and help them create a board of all the thing they dream of doing too, and have a chat about it.
Helping kids use their imagination unlocks the key to their mind and encourages them to talk, make decisions and be a kid.
They should have a good childhood and those that stop it, are selfish and are imbecilic. I have come to see that there are those that want to bring you down towards your children, but letting them dream and create memories is a childhood to remember and that is all we want at the end of the day, for our kids to be happy and have a fantastic future.
I think in this day and age that any act such as bullying and abuse carried out, should be looked into immediately and investigated, because it still does go on and I remember when working in the nursery in Wimbledon, when we had what was known as a “Peanut Drill”, that someone was trying to get in.
I was absolutely shitting myself, and tried to keep myself calm, but getting all the kids together without a fuss became a difficult task, and I couldn’t help but panic and the children were hysterical.
People who do this kind of act aren’t worth the blood they were born with, and as far as I am concerned, is the worst thing a person can do and they have no remorse at all.
It makes me see that abusing a child aswell as bullying can be hidden in families and you wouldn’t even know it, and yes they should all be locked up with the key thrown away and given life.
If they take a life they should get life and I am going to fight for it and have all Paedophiles nicked and given life with no rights at all.
My dad could bully me, but he never abused me and I do miss him so much. I am sad I never got to see him before he died and I am gutted about that, I thought he was against me too, but he was just angry.
He taught me how to fight back and yes, I did, and I will continue to fight for children’s rights and stop all abuse and bullying from happening and it is tricky and often controversial topic, but I feel I want to talk about it, as I would like victims of these kind of acts to tell their stories to help others do so aswell.
All kids who have lost their lives I want a monument built and all the names of kids that have died due to abuse in memory of them all, be called “The Angels of Heaven” and have their names on it.
Once a child’s life has been taken you can’t bring them back and yes it causes suicide too, and I felt that a lot this year and is not good when you hit rock bottom. I did take an overdose last Christmas, and I yes my son didn’t know what was going on, but I literally took 3 to 4 Diazepanes in one go. I was a complete mess.
Abuse and bullying can turn a happy go lucking child into a mess and is so soul destroying that it can cause hurt to an entire family, and those who I felt were there to look out for me weren’t and yes it has changed who I am, and it can make a child feel like that too.
If you are abused remember you can always called Childline and they will act straight away.
Those who laugh about it when doing an act of bullying or abuse aren’t human, they are animals and cowards and need to be taught that if you do this, then you need to do the time for doing the crime, and yes all schools, kids clubs, nurseries and playgroups should have a Safeguarding officer to stop it or a welfare office, which I would like to do one day and get it kicked put.
This time seven years ago, I was in the neon natal ward in Epsom, looking after my son Henry, who was born prematurely at 31 weeks and there are a lot of things that you should know about What to know about Premature Babies.
The hospital before you give birth whether naturally or by Caesarean, they will give you an injection to help the babies lungs, as if born premature their lungs would not have been fully formed, depending on, when the baby arrives
They can have trouble breastfeeding which I have written about in my previous blogs, and so if they don’t latch on don’t worry , you can still express and give to your baby by bottle or the neon natal nurses would help to feed them by a cup. Yes they do. I didn’t know they did this, but I saw it in my own eyes, and was amazed
They can be prone to chest infections in their early years. Don’t worry, seek medical support and they may prescribe and inhaler and antibiotics, but you can use over the counter products, like Calpol, Vics and Oabis Oil
They become full term babies usually around the 8 weeks of their lives
If they are Jaundice they will be in a incubator, if first born with a little mask on to protect their eyes, with a blue light
They will continuously have blood taken from their foot to make sure they don’t have a metabolic disorder
They are regularly weighed, have their length measure and their head circumference measured
They will test their ears to see how sharp their hearing is
Have Development Delay
Be prone to having Reflux issues
Please do not feel that I am scaremongering in any way, I just want give this information because not many parenting books I have read or blogs, share this information, but want to be one of the first, as Premature births are a lot more common than you think. When I talked to people about Henry being Premature, I had many parents or people saying they were born premature too.
I have one more thing to tell you, and that is, I am raising money for the charity called, Tommy’s who support and raise awareness, of Stillbirths and Premature Births, and so if you would like to make a contribution, please follow the link below:
P.S: I have teamed up with Amazon this year, to show some of their Christmas Gifts, Advent Calendars, Decor, Stocking Fillers and much more. Check out my first video showing their Top Of the Range Advent Calendars:
I wanted to write this blog because I was watching one of my favourite Youtube families, Phil and Alex who have 3 gorgeous girls and one being a little lady called Cassidy who has had open heart surgery and wanted to talk about this as I have wished her to grow up, touching wood, and look after other little babies with heart defects, like me.
I want her to have her own family one day and the most important to be happy, along with her two older sisters who love life aswell, and I hope she will too.
If you have a baby with a heart defect please don’t allow it to stop you from enjoying your baby as the worry can often overpower you and babies are a lot stronger than you think.
Henry’s heart was dropping when he was in my tummy and the hospital did do the right thing in delivering him. This kept my faith in maternity wards as there have been many bad stories of a few hospitals in England of babies dying, but they did potentially save his life and mine as my heart was going berserk.
The procedure of heart operations has come so far that they can now do the same operation I had when they are babies, rather than waiting and yes it can be worrying, but the surgeons who do these sorts of operations know what they are doing, and if you have questions do ask.
Hospitals will allow you stay in the hospitals so they won’t send you packing, they will be on hand if you have any worries.
I did become unwell with the anaesthetic but that is unusual and there are different anaesthetics now to stop this from happening and won’t send you and your baby home until they make a full recovery and is safe too.
If you need a coffee whilst they are in surgery have one and to help them recover as they may feel some pain, but they will give them safe medicine for this too, play some peaceful music or read to them. You will be surprised when they are sleeping on what they can still hear.
So if your child has a heart defect ask as many questions as you want and know exactly what they are going to do, to give you that peace of mind.
I hope this is helpful to you, and please should you have questions about this blog then please leave a question in the comments below.
P.S: I am raising money this year for a charity called Tommy’s who help support families who have experienced Stillbirths and Premature births, which can be so heartbreaking. If you wish to make a contribution then please visit my JustGiving page to do so, many thanks in advance:
This has been a controversial subject at times, of people posting images on social media of them breastfeeding, and should women be allowed to breastfeed in public? Is Breast the best form of milk compared to Formula? When should you stop breastfeeding?
In my opinion I think do what you think is best, not on what someone else says. For me I wanted to give Henry my breastmilk and I did. However I did have a hard time 1. as mentioned in a previous post (See below) it took a lot to produce my milk, which can happen when you have a premature birth, but also when you have a full term baby.
2. When I expressed at first I had to do it for about half hour to get a lot of milk out, and then was told that this was too long, and should only express 10 minutes or so at the time, as expressing for half hour can make my boobs sore.
In hearing this news I was like,
What do I do then?
Here’s a link to my previous post about Breastfeeding:
I would never tell anyone off for deciding to put their child on formula milk straight away, and as said in a previous post, when I do have another child I will still give them my breastmilk and have some counselling and advice aswell to help me, but not give myself a hard time over it, like I did when Henry, my son was born, because you have enough to concentrate on and it is important when you have given birth to have some time to recover, as if you don’t have enough rest, that can effect your breastmilk too, which it really did for me.
It can be very distressing when you can’t breastfeed and you do feel this pressure of if I don’t I am a failure.
Let me tell you,
NO YOU ARE NOT!
image on Dreamtime
Everyone is different, not everyone’s body is the same, and see it that every persons body is unique to them. Some can produce endless amount of breastmilk, where some, like me, couldn’t.
There was one mum who’s baby was also called Henry and she didn’t breastfeed because she had, had breast surgery, and so was paranoid in doing so. I heard the nurses putting her under pressure about it, which I don’t blame them really in doing so, its just that they obviously have been advised to encourage us to breastfeed, its just not the be all or end all, if you don’t feel happy to breastfeed then it should be your choice.
Yes it was the NICU nurses who put Henry on Formula milk aswell as mine, which I didn’t mind, because I knew he was still getting the nutrients that he needed and took to it really well.
Sometimes if we gave him too much, it would shoot straight out of him, which at first frightened the life out of me, but most of the time he did feed well.
Just be vigilant about it because as a baby who lived on Breastmilk up until 18 months old, I did get a milk allergy.
The other thing I would say,
TAKE IT AS IT COMES!
Giving a baby breastmilk does save the hassle of bringing loads of bottles out with you, but you can get the already formed formula, just be aware that sometimes it can cause constipation, as spoken about in one of my other posts above, but if you can’t produce enough or worried then don’t feel bad about it.
As a baby myself I never went onto formula and was breastfeed up until I was 18 months old as said and wait straight onto cows milk.
Basically you decide if you want to give your child breastmilk or not, and don’t allow those that tut and judge other mums dictate, because it all depends what your child likes.
There are no one ways when it comes to being a parent, and the less you worry about the better you can focus on loving and nurturing your baby without stressing out.
Bringing your baby home for the first time can be a daunting prospect, but it can also be a relief. The first thing I would say is:
Don’t worry about getting into a Routine yet, get to know your baby still, even if they have been in hospital like my son, Henry was Premature and was in there for a month.
The day I bought him home was the 8th of December 2013, and it did take a while to adjust. We did try to follow the schedule that the hospital had done, but that didn’t continue as when they are home it is completely different, and so that plan went straight out of the window.
As there is still COVID and because babies immune systems are still not fully formed as of yet,
2. Make sure anybody holding your child has washed their hands, don’t have a cold and do tell them to stay away if they do. Not meaning you have to be rude, but just pre-warn them.
If they end up going back to hospital they won’t go back into the delivery ward or Special care unit but a ward with all different age children, which can lead to more illnesses and infections.
When your baby is born,
3. Don’t go buying loads and loads of stuff first off, because if you know of friends or relatives that have had kids, or this is your second child, never be afraid to use hand-me-downs. I felt so blessed that I had family who did this, and saved us a lot of money and hassle.
Plus if you have a huge stack of friends and family they will be buying items for your new baby, so don’t go overboard, because babies once born grow very quickly.
4. Make sure that you have a crib or a Moses basket first, for them to sleep in, as they will be too tiny for a cot yet, and you can get basketnets too, that are suitable for new born babies.
If you know someone who has one of these that they are offering to you, to have,
5. make sure you check it out first to make sure it is in good condition, before saying yes.
The Moses basket we had was given to us from family and they also gave us their cot, for when Henry was bigger, and so the one item we did buy was a Crib, from Mothercare.
6. When you are in hospitalask the nurses at the hospital as many questions as you can, if you are worried about something when taking them home. The nurses and midwifes are there to help, so ask away.
To help you not forget write the questions you have down, so you have them to hand, because when you have given birth you end up with “Baby Brain” for a bit. Be ready to ask and get them to show you, how to swaddle a baby, how to breastfeed, because like me I thought it would be easy, but in reality wasn’t. Please check out my blog post:
7. You don’t need to give a new born baby a bath as soon as they are born as their skin is still very delicate, so do it about two to three weeks later, unless they have a pooh explosion, which you do have to get ready for.
The first nappy changes you do, make sure you use cotton wool balls and warm water to clean them and do it before they eat, as from experience if done after can cause them to be sick.
When a child is first born they will usually do a pooh soon after, as they have been eating from the food you have eaten. This is what helps them to grow inside your tummy. When they start to breastfeed or go straight onto Formula milk,
8. feed from you or from a bottle write down how much if from a bottle or how long they fed for, to make sure they are taking in enough.
If your baby loses weight when they are first born, don’t worry, because this is normal.
Should they continue to lose weight then it is time to be concerned, but health visitors and nurses at the hospital are there to help you and give you support.
9. Don’t worry about others wanting to help you when you first bring home your baby, as after your child is born and you have them home, you need some help too, so take them up on it.
It does not mean that you are a bad mum for wanting some well earned rest yourself and if you say no a lot to those who want to lend a hand, will begin to stop asking.
When you first bring you child home, relax and enjoy your buddle of joy and be weary of those who will start to say, “When’s the next one going to be due”.
I have put together a Cheat Sheet for you, if you would like to print this off.
P.S: Just a quick note, I am raising money for the Charity Tommy’s who help to support those families that have experienced Stillbirths and Premature births and so if you would like to donate the link is here below:
I want to write about this as, because living on a housing estate it went on a lot, and it is the most soul destroying thing you can ever experienced.
There are angels in heaven that have been abused and killed, and it can devastating to everyone involved. It is soul destroying and can take over your childhood.
No child should be made to feel like can’t have a life, as every child deserves to have a childhood that is filled with fun and happy memories and I want to make sure that every child in the world is protected.
I am going to campaign for all Paedophiles and rapist, to be punished and be given life and spend their life in jail, with no rights.
How can you sense that a child is being abused:
Body language
·If they are quiet not playing with other kids
·If they have bruising near their private areas, arms and legs
·If they are bleeding from the bottom
·If they have any discharge
·If they start to abuse other kids
·If they are argumentative, disruptive and aggressive to others
·Withdrawn
What are the signs of an abuser?
·Grooming a kid to try and to see the child privately
·Taking inappropriate photos of children
·Asking inappropriate questions
·Breaching Data Protection
·Seeing an adult whisper in a child’s ear
·Treating a child differently to
If you know of a child being abused or you are a child, teenager reading this, then contact Childline.
Please do teach kids about not talking to strangers. The thing about those who abuse kids, they come in all different shapes and sizes. In the 80’s they did do adverts about this and be careful about sharing details online on social media pages, as pictures of kids can be temptation for Paedophiles.
I do think they should do another advert about talking to strangers including talking to strangers online and sharing too much information.
One thing I would take out from social media sites is areas where they ask you to share your location, and can be seen by anybody.
We need to be sensible when it comes to this because we don’t want our children’s information being breeched by those who carry out these crimes.
Those who abuse and rape children, may not have previous, because the hardest thing is proving it, and there are those who make it up, which makes it difficult for those who have actually been abused as a child, and many will be too scared to say anything and so it can be difficult to track it down.
Doing a CRB or DBS check is one way, but as said many don’t have previous convictions, so it is still hard to track down, and be stopped.
I am in the process of developing a Child Safety online course and so once it has been completed I will let you know.
For now though lets keep our kids safe and stay strong, and have a good week ahead.
Before I end this blog post I would like to tell you about my fundraiser I am doing again this year as I like to do this every year, as we get nearer to Christmas, and I am raising money for the Charity Tommy’s who support parents whom have experienced Stillbirths and Premature births. Here is the link to my site below:
I wrote a blog some time last year about Screen time, and how it should be limited as it can keep them awake at night and they can become dependent on it.
Since that blog many things have changed and my outlook on it is very different to that post. When Henry is watching his tablet it keeps him calm, being that he can have meltdowns, and I find when you take it away it becomes more of a tantrum than it needs to be. I HOPE YOU ARE READING THIS BORIS AS YOU LIKE YOUR SCREEN TIME, ASHAME THAT NOONE ELSE DOES!
Anyway, I was going to share a video on Youtube of the comedian Micky Flannagan talking about this very subject and his son watching his iPad, but it looks like it has been taken down.
He says it just gives us, as much as we love our kids a rest for a bit, as kids can be very demanding and now want money to pay for their computer games, yet when I was a kid it was money for the ice cream van. Years back when I was a kid it was “Can I go out and see if my friend Kelly is playing out” now it is “Can I do facetime with Louie” and thankfully he doesn’t have his number yet, only being 7, but if he did, he wouldn’t get off his tablet and want to talk to his friend at school all night and day, have more of a meltdown when it would be time to say goodnight, to the point I’d have a meltdown too, and we learned to swear from the age of 2, now it is almost as soon as they are born.
All jokes aside, is it that bad if my son watches a couple of kids doing the “Crossbar challenge?”, or watches babies fighting over a toothbrush?
I have seen worse as a kid growing up in the 80’s, such as films, like the Hounds of the Baskervilles, which I thought was The House for the Baskerbilles being I was very gullible and my dad would never allow me to see the end, but tell me what would happen, and his interpretation was, that the hounds get eaten and killed by a load of Doobie Noshers. Now please don’t ask me what they are. I had an image of these being red scary faces, and every time we would walk back to our caravan that we stayed in at Clacton I would think of them getting us on our way.
My dad would often watch a comedy called Steptoe and son, and seeing this acting of a father and son duo play scrabble, putting as many swear words as they can down was probably called a form of child abuse now, and then there was Chain saw massacre, where a bloke with a clowns head tries to use a chainsaw to kill who ever was in his sight. Thank fuck it wasn’t real but made me scared of clowns, even now being 42 years old.
They say that watching an iPad and tablet can keep them from sleeping, but not in our case he sleeps soundly when he watches it before bedtime. It all depends on your child, as they can be different.
There are many parent books that say you shouldn’t allow them to listen to music before bedtime, because it can become the norm of them thinking that, that is how you get to sleep, and at one time when Henry was about 6 months old I thought this could be true, because as soon as the music stopped he would become awake but then got used to it and when you are shattered and sleep deprivation is different to when you become a parent, you do whatever it takes, for them to go to sleep.
As far as I am concerned it all depends on your child, and if it works, do it. Of course I would not recommend The Hounds of the Baskervilles or Chain saw Massacre, but something less tame, Jaws, especially if you end up with a kid that bites a lot. Only joking, I am not being serious there, just so you know! Your best bet is who I call a Pork Scratching Peppa Pig, Spongebob, Mr Tumble or the Telly Tubbies.
There was many people saying that even the Tele Tubbies were offensive at one time, because of Tinky Winky having a hand bag and thought he was a male tubby, no he is actually a she, and Dipsi and Pooh are male tubbies. I have a feeling as I write this, that perhaps I have been watching them too much now, to be that sad of knowing this information.
Bring bag Knight Rider.
You know when someone is a parent of storing this information and feeling offended when others would get it wrong.
However, I say let them watch their android devices, still monitor what they are watching, but if it is someone kicking a ball at a crossbar, what harm can it really do?
I know there will be those parenting police being shocked by this blog, but I am strong believer that all the information in many parenting books are not true to real life, and I want to help you all have a easier time with your children and let them be kids and be happy. That is what is important at the end of the day.
I hope this blog has been helpful to you.
Before I finish, this blog, I want to tell you about the Charity I am supporting this year, as I like to do this every year as we lead up to Christmas. I am raising money for a charity called Tommy’s who provide support to parents who have experienced, stillbirths and premature births, being that they helped me when Henry was born premature 7 years ago, when I was 31 weeks pregnant and was a bit of a shock and their help did wonders to me and helped me get through that time. So if you would like to donate, here below is the link to my Just Giving page, and if you do many thank you’s.
Hello and welcome to another blog post. In this post I am going to talk about my experience with breastfeeding, because I had real trouble when my son was born seven years ago, to express milk and breastfeed, as Henry would not latch on and it really stressed me out, as I suppose I took it for granted or was naïve to the fact of how difficult it would be. I thought it would naturally happen, but didn’t and when I only got a bit out into a syringe, I felt defeated.
I was told to help my milk come out to do all they say, massage the breast, use a warm flannel and rest as much as possible, but it took me ages and was told that I had to keep trying and expressing for 8 to 12 times a day, but after Henry was born, and I hadn’t slept for an entire three days on the trot from when my waters broke on the Saturday, I was completely exhausted.
Any how I kept trying and finally got the first part of the milk the Colostrum, which is really important especially for baby’s who were born premature. If I had known it would be that difficult I would have had breastfeeding counselling before hand, and not have bought a manual pump as they are hard work, and not good when you are hormonal and feel like punching my boobs at one point because I could only manage a little amount to come out.
In the end I did get an electrical breast pump, which I would totally recommend and being in the special care unit they had one there too, that I could use and did make all the difference.
I hope this does not put you off, because if I do have another child I would still breastfeed as it is more natural than formula, but in the end, because even by expressing a lot I still didn’t produce enough for Henry, gave Henry some of my milk along with formula milk.
The formula milk they recommended was SMA, and then because Henry had really bad eczema as he began to grow during the summer, which had become infected, so had to use Steroid cream prescribed by our GP, as over the counter creams didn’t work, I changed his formula milk to HIPP, which was an organic formula milk and did help his eczema a lot.
I still though would have preferred Henry to have my milk instead, because formula milk can cause constipation, and so to stop that you then have to start making them drink some water, which at first Henry was not interested in and can make their pooh very hard.
With breastmilk, they can have pooh explosions, but is best when they get constipated can effect their eating and in take of milk, when it is formula.
I in the end I still kept trying to see if Henry would drink from my breast, realised that he was not going to, and felt so guilty. I did speak to a breastfeeding nurse, who was recommended to me, as there was a medication I could take that would help my breastmilk, but I couldn’t take that because of having a heart condition.
Once I bought Henry home, I talked to the Health Visitor who said, that if it is stressing me out that much, as I did also have Postnatal Depression, to stop if I wanted to, because as long as my son had my milk in his first month, then it is fine and just enjoy getting to know my baby, rather then stressing over breastfeeding.
So I hope this had not scared you in anyway, that truly is not my intention. I just wanted to write this, because noone mentions his in any baby book , of how difficult breastfeeding can be, should you have trouble too. I have shared this in my first book of The Parenting Adventures- Pregnancy to the first nine months aswell, which is available from Amazon.com.
Never be fearful though if you are expecting to discuss this during your prenatal visits and it does not matter about size of a breast either, and have learned that some woman have milk pouring out of their boobs and some don’t, its like a toss of a coin unfortunately, just do what you can. However the more prepared you are, the more reassured you will feel.
The most important thing is to enjoy your new baby and getting to know them as it is a life changing experience, and does overwhelm you, and make the most of them being tiny, as they do grow so quickly.
If you didn’t read my previous post, then I am raising money for the charity Tommy’s who carry out a lot of research into stillbirths and premature births, and do an amazing job helping NICU departments in hospitals to care for tiny babies and those babies that have died at birth, by supporting parents who have gone through such a sad time in their lives.
I was inspired to write this post after watching a Youtube video by two of my favourite couples, and families, Phil and Alex, who’s new baby Cassidy had open heart surgery, as I had that too as a child and it can be very daunting.
When I first went into the Special Care unit at St Helier Hospital in Sutton, London, I had no idea what to expect. I did before then see mothers with their babies who were in these units, and its until you go into a NICU Special care unit, how frightening at first it can be.
As a new mum I was super hormonal and cried a lot, like many of the mums and dads, too, as a baby in these units can effect everyone in your family, and I kind of at the time, shut down and I am a super planner of the future, but it hit me like a knife at first of “What is going to happen from here”, and for once felt I couldn’t plan ahead just in case.
My experience of a Special care unit of how long the NICU nurses and doctors worked and how much care they took, and did a fantastic job. They spoke to me about Henry, as if he already had a personality, and I know you may not believe me, but even when they are tiny, they can still start to form into person, and how alert they still can be. I knew from that moment when I walked in their it would take me sometime to adjust, didn’t think once about when my son Henry would be able to come home, and just focused for once on the present moment.
My son was born premature at 31 weeks and it was because his heart rate kept dropping and mine was going berserk, and in what I recall as a flash, he was delivered and taken away to the Care unit, who would look after him for a week and luckily was strong enough to be transferred to the hospital nearer to where I lived at the time, and again was well looked after by the NICU unit there too. Many moan about the NHS, but the staff who work in these units do a great deal of work to help you take care of your baby, as even though you think it will come naturally does change your life and it does become about them and not you, and all you can think of is making sure they thrive, by feeding, growing and how alert they are.
They gave us this booklet, which was written by the charity Tommy’s and it told you things that noone ever shared in any of the baby books I read. Premature births are a lot more common than you think. I before Henry was born, even came across an article about it, and I remember saying to myself “I won’t need to read that” and I wished I had.
I would like to do a Youtube video talking about this, so when I do I will post it on this site and I will let you know once it is up.
I remember one time when sitting quietly looking at my new born son, watching the screen which measured his heart rate and breathing like a hawk and suddenly it starts beeping and dropping, and I was beside myself, but then one of the nurses said to me for reassurance, “It’s okay, has he changed colour, is he moving?”, and I nodded and she went onto say, unless they change colour and don’t move then yes worry, and we would be with him like a shot and so if we don’t react, then you have nothing to worry about and all that happened was the wire attached to his foot that measured his pulse had fallen off slightly.
Children are a lot stronger than what you think they are, even as tiny babies and what I loved the most was that they encouraged you to do the self care of your baby yourself without intervening and would talk us through it a lot and the one advantage of having a baby in special care, even though by choice they wouldn’t be, was that they showed you and took more time in sharing how to properly bath your child, what were the best bottles to use, the recommended formula milk, as I had problems with my breastmilk and if you would like me to talk more on this then leave a comment below, and what the best nappies to use were. They also outside the special care unit, details of other babies who were born premature and are still alive and kicking today.
A lot of the time in the UK if you have a full term baby you are sent home without being given this information and are often sent home on the same day, and no, noone wants their child to be in the special care unit, but looking back in a positive note they do take more care of you. Not all maternity units, may I add, but some of them, and they wanted to get ride of the maternity units in our local hospital and St Helier, but glad they haven’t because they do take a lot of care of you in their maternity units, and I would not have gotten through it without their help.
It is scary and nothing prepares you for any type of birth, as it can just happen, but I would if I could turn the time back to reading the article I saw about premature births read it, and would like to think by doing this, would have given me more of a piece of mind.
If you would like to ask me further questions on this topic then please go ahead. Their is a comment section below, and to keep up to date with all my blogs on this site, then you can follow me too.
There is one other thing I would like to tell you about, and that is this year like I have done every year leading up to Christmas, like to raise money for a good cause, and was going to have this post up on Facebook to help me do that, however Facebook wouldn’t let me, so I have set up a Justgiving page to raise money for Tommy’s, so if you would like to donate, then please click on the following link to do so.
No I don’t as I am human and don’t mind showing the mistakes I have made. Parenting can be plane sailing for some, but it has never been like that for me, I have struggled and I know I am not on my own on that.
I always knew as a kid I wanted to have children of my own one day and you think it is something that comes naturally to you. Let me tell you if you are thinking of having a family and no I am not a spoiler or a mum who likes to share horror stories, just my own struggles, is that it didn’t at all. I found breastfeeding I didn’t have enough hands to get it right, I was all finger and thumbs when I first held my son Henry when he was in the special care unit, and held onto him like he was like a bomb that if I dropped him he would explode and being so tiny, I held on as you are frightened at first of dropping them, and changing nappies, not just me but every parent that first changed one, on their child put the nappy on the wrong way round.
Can it become easier?
At first I wanted to throttle those who said it did, but now that my son is almost seven, which will be in two days time, yes it does and I am more relaxed now than when I was at the beginning. Parenting is a new skill for everyone and as much as your child is adjusting to being out in the world, so are you. There is no child that is the same, some sleep. My son however and I am not gloating, as he still wakes up early still, can sleep through a tornedo and still stay a sleep.
Can a child’s sleep pattern change?
Yes, Henry slept from when he was born through the night, but became less when he began teething, which wasn’t long after he was born. They can make themselves go to sleep, but doing story time or letting them listen to gentle soft music can help too, and I would say with bedtime, definitely establish a bedtime routine.
What about food and meals?
Well, where do I begin, I thought I was being Supermum putting together home made baby food, until some evenings my son refused to eat any of it, and then feeling disheartened, and wanted to say to him “Please give some sympathy it took me ages to make that”, but do babies and kids care? Did I when I was a kid who was the fussiest child in the world when it came to food and dinner? NO.
So if your child turns their nose up, don’t feel that you let the side down, kids make choices from early on in their development and always have a back up. Left over fruit, veg and meat can be pre-cooked and warmed up, and have a few already made baby food pouches or jars to hand, just in case.
I do love being a mum and there are parts I do enjoy, like cuddles, watching some TV together, playing connect 4 not letting my competitive side show, even when he does cheat and when we dance to music.
Meal times have got better and I like having a family meal at least once or twice a week if not everyday, and having chill out time for yourself too.
So stay safe and well, and I will blog again soon.
I love writing blogs about being a parent, because I know like me we love it, but there are times where we feel baffled.
Is everyday as a parent different?
Yes! Children like I could be lovely but yes there were times I played up too. I would do the child stomp as if my head lost its hinge and flop my arms down, sulking into my bowl of frosties when told off. That’s kids.
My son volunterley will turn his back to me fold his arms and look towards a wall yet when I was a kid it was a sign of punishment when a school teacher told you off and said to sit towards a wall with arms and legs crossed.
Blogging as a parent helps to highlight areas that other parents struggle with also, which can make me look back and laugh at, like one day a child will put his shoes away no problem or hassle and other days he won’t. That’s kids.
I do find it funny when Henry finds it hilarious during story time as instead of getting sleepy and the way I will read a story we both end up in hysterics and can’t reach the end of a book because we are laughing our heads off. That’s kids.
When I first blogged I talked about giving Henry his first bath at home which thanks to my ex-husband became a shambles and we all couldn’t wait until it was over.
Do I have a schedule?
I do have a kind of schedule but because kids can be unpredictable like pick up illnesses especially at school I plan day by day usually following a to do list which is also done on the go, and it is the case of prepare for change of plans which comes with being a parent and still trying to still get stuff done at the same time.
So should you plan for the unexpected?
Yes! I have learned that being flexible with scheduling helps and not too plan too far ahead, just in case.
I worship a cup of coffee and tea like you wouldn’t believe now as kids keep you on your toes like when Henry thought opening the fridge door continuously was a new game. That’s kids.
When do I tend to write my blogs?
Well as he is with his dad at the moment during the day, but when he is with me in the daytime in the evenings when he is a sleep. No rest for the wicked.
Do I mind?
No! There was a time I did get stressed about it, but now I take a break and chillout. When it comes to blogging it’s about quality not quantity.
So I am gonna as my favourite band Bon Jovi sings, I’m going to rest my weary head, and relax for the rest of the night so I can blog ahead as the weekend commences and be fresh for tomorrow morning.
Life as a blogging parent has its challenges but wouldn’t change it for the world.
Due to the internet it is so easy to share pictures of our kids, of days out and when they have started school and birthdays, but it is also important to be vigilant .
With Ipads and Tablets they can share anything they want to, but the other side of it , is that you have no idea who is reading and seeing that information, because Peodophiles thrive on pictures of naked pictures of kids, and this is why I never share pictures of my son naked in case the pictures ends up in the wrong hands.
I want help stop child abuse because it wrecks their childhood and to keep our kids safe, we must be aware of what content they watch, who they speak to and do they stop watching something when you walk into their room. When abusers target kids it is for one reason because they can and they will.
My first tip is:
Monitor what your child looks at and there are settings you can put on your child’s tablet and iPad, parental lock on certain sites, same with TV’s and computers/laptops
I remember there was a guy who lived in the New Croft Estate that would watch pornagraphy and would make his kids watch it. I know this because my brother would hang out with his son’s and saw it for himself.
2. Get to know other parents well enough before allowing them to go to their friends for a playdate and if you do run a sports or children’s club to always do a CRB check first on volunteer helpers and make sure they have an up to date DBS.
They can put their DBS on an update service, which shows that their DBS is up to date.
When your DBS expires then you do have to have a new one when working with children.
Going on my experience though these channels don’t stop adults from abusing but it will help you see if they have any passed convictions or not.
When looking after children it is your responsibility to keep them safe and I remember when running a kids football team, one of the boys wondered off and so I told him off to the point I did make him cry because they were my responsibility as a football coach and I didn’t want any of the kids going missing whilst I was in charge, as that is something I didn’t want on my conscious.
3. The one thing I did when we had a match is made a substitute area so they could have a kickabout and keep warm whilst the game was playing and had one of the kids parents watch them whilst I coached the team on the pitch, and I would say to do this all the time, and make them wear bright coloured bibs whilst not playing as if they do wonder off they can be easily seen.
I would say to do this when taking your kids out of the day too, wearing bright coloured clothing but also if they still walking without knowledge of where they going have them wear reins just until they learn about their whereabouts.
4. If you run a kids club of any kind make sure you’re wearing bright coloured bibs or t-shirts too so they know who is supervising the club and an ID badge with their name and role within the club.
To help with child abuse if a child reports abuse or you notice abuse may be taking place, have a Safeguarding officer within the club, who will be specifically there to help kids stop the abuse and to make sure those responsible are investigated and the report is given to the Police aswell.
Also you can seek advice from Childline, NSPCC, Barnardo’s and your local authority.
5. When taking kids to the toilet always have them remove their clothing themselves if they can and make sure if you are in a children’s setting like a nursery you have trained staff who can change nappies safely following hygiene rules and no touching of their private areas, and if you see any bruising near these areas that this is reported immediately.
Do make sure if they have any soiled underwear that this is changed and clothing is washed above 40 degrees to make sure they are thoroughly cleaned and germs are removed.
6. To stop intruders coming into a kids club, school or nursery have a system like having a parent give a password that only the parents and you know, for picking up children if it isn’t you the parent or carer, and make sure keep a register of the children and their guardians.
I remember running a football team and the lady organizing the club didn’t tell the parent that I would be coaching the team and so when she turned up had no idea of who I was and was expecting to me the male coach.
Always communicate with you club volunteers and helpers of who will be attending the club and who will not be for health and safety and in case of a fire.
7. Do a medical form if they are doing sport so they can give you details if they have any medical conditions that could effect them from participating and that they give you an emergency number.
Never pass on any child’s personal information and all subs or fees are taken in and kept safe to bank, and make sure the name of the child and parent is named, and the best way to do this is a letter with fee and have a strip that they can cut to hand in, and that they have a copy of what they have paid to them too.
8. If you are a child minder then make sure you register as a childminder and that your home is checked by Ofsted and that you get to know the child first, and chat with the parents before looking after a child.
Take note of when they usually have their nap and of when they need feeding and changed.
9. When a visitor does check your club or organisation that they fill in a visitors book and they to are given an ID badge and you check their ID.
Always do a risk assessment of venues for health and safety, for any potential hazards.
10. Make sure when using equipment that it has been cleaned and that no doors or corridors are blocked and that you lock equipment away and you are aware of where the fire exits are and assembly points.
I remember when at Butlin holiday camp they did a fire test in the restaurants, and the new staff we had there had no idea of what the fire alarm sounded like and do when it went off they stood around not knowing what to do.
All volunteers, children and parents should be made aware of the fire safety rules and what the alarm sounds like and where to find the vacuation point is, and mark everyone on the register in case there is someone stuck in there.
All tower blocks should have a sprinkler system, a fire escape and an alarm fitted, and don’t stay inside evacuate immediately.
Keeping our kids safe should be top priority and so do make sure you take note of these tips and advice to protect you and your children.
So it has only been 3 days since the return of school and we have already had tears and total meltdown, whilst getting there and coming home. Of course the easiest way to deal with it is to pretend they aren’t yours and they have just followed you, and now you can’t take them back.
Or to also pull a tantrum so they have a taste of their own medicine, but when it is in the middle of a train station, the chances are you will be escorted out, along with your child.
Luckily when this happened on literally my sons first day, so literally Wednesday just gone, some lovely man working in the station lended me hand getting my son through the gates as he was refusing to do so and wanted to continue to ride on the train.
HONESTLY HOW MANY BUSES AND TRAINS CAN YOU GO ON WHEN WHERE THEY ARE AT LAST HAPPY AND NOT BE A TOTAL NIGHTMARE.
I don’t want to be seen moaning a lot about parenting, but keeping it real by showing that however much I bribe, console and do what it says in parenting books, that being a parent of a now very stroppy 6 year old, it isn’t always a bed of roses.
Once we get to school he is fine and during school so far, but when getting him to and from school, that’s when he can play up, and I am the parent with the screaming child doing all he can to let the world know that he isn’t happy and not having none of it.
HOW TO DEAL WITH A TOTAL TO AND FROM SCHOOL ?
The one thing I have learned is to stay calm and keep my composure, as much as possible, I know this isn’t always easy, and you wish you could click your fingers or have a remote control that could defuse a meltdown, it just I feel when I get worked up adds to the fuel in the meltdown, and making it clear that their behaviour isn’t good without shouting, but being firm and also talking rather than shouting or screaming works betters.
IF ONLY WE COULD TAKE A PILLOW WITH US TO SCREAM INTO, WOULD COME IN HANDY !
Nevertheless all is okay, my son is now in bed and soon it will be another day and the weekend again, where his dad will take over.
I do love my son, alot and do enjoy motherhood, but there are times that I don’t and I think it is okay to say that, because children are like puzzles you are always trying to solve only to be broken again and I will admit there are times that I still don’t always have clue, but you just have to remember that meltdowns and tantrums don’t last forever and you can have your own tantrum once they are in bed and treat yourself to a nice evening of a cup of tea or something stronger and all is right with the world again.
So if you are like me got some peace now is the time for us parents to wind down to and to get ready to sleep ourselves.
As we get to the end of another 6 weeks of summer holidays, next week it is all systems go again, and so looking forward to the year ahead, has many dilemmas in front of it, like looking for a new school for Henry to go to next year, and getting him somewhat prepared for the new set of learning tools he has to do for this year.
I do think that going on the amount of homework that my son had to do last year, it is only going to mount up, so on Monday and Tuesday, will consist on doing some last minute homework, that he can have completed ready for when he begins school again on Wednesday of next week.
I think as soon as you know that you have a week to go, it is time to set a plan and have everything ready in time, so there is no last minute dashes and be panic free.
My lists have been written and now it is just about getting everything together. The one thing I am looking forward to, is having my time between the school drop off and pick up again, so I can do my work without interruption, instead of having to fit it in during the evening, which I have had to do a lot during the school holidays.
I think Henry is looking forward to going back as from when the school holidays began, he has kept asking to go back to school, and so I think he will go in no problems, I just hope he can catch up on his learning and not be so behind like he was last year.
I do feel somewhat under pressure because with Lockdown we haven’t had time to look at other schools, but now will have that time again, it is applying for a new school come next year in time, and see the schools that are for specialist kids with ADHD and development delay. So less kids per class, but then it is getting Henry used to going their instead, it may be huge transition again for him, as he will need to form new friendships and get to know the teachers again.
When a child has ADHD I find doing short spells of sit down learning to be more beneficial than long hours of learning and setting it out, so he knows this is what we are doing now, and if they do that then you can choose what to do next, to be the best approach.
Also when out and about like we have done, going through the different numbers of houses, and seeing what bus numbers we can see, spotting different coloured cars, has been really effective in his learning, every bit does count, and make it fun rather than being too strict.
The other thing you can try is extend the hours of how long they can sit down for each time, to help with their concentration, gradually and let them have a choice as said above, as this helps with their communication and make choices, and in turn you get to know what their main interests are and how you can import other areas into their learning that they struggle with, but can learn in a different way so they become interested.
Just do what you can and do communicate with your childs teacher to let them know where your child is at, with their learning, so they can be on the same page as you to help with your childs learning.
So I am going to end this blog here and will be adding more as we get nearer to the new school year.
As a parent to try and stay somewhat organized it is good to have some good parenting habits, and do things that you both can enjoy,such as:
Get ready the night before. So rather than rushing in the mornings and worried that your child is going to cause havoc, when you are not with them for 5 minutes, taking my shower the night before and laying out my clothes, saves me so much time the next morning
Have meals with your kids. So breakfast and dinner, as when I have eaten at different times he hasn’t always stayed at the table, so I make sure I have at least one meal with my son, to encourage him to eat and be good during meal times.
Rewards and encouragement. When Henry has done well with his homework, eaten his meals, played nicely and without a fuss, he will get rewarded. By doing this I find my son gets into good habits of his own, by tidying his toys away, playing connect 4 without cheating and fussing and gone shopping with me with no fuss
Creating a schedule. I live by my schedules and I do them each week and weekend. It helps me with making sure I have some relax time and self care too
Chatting with your child to see how they feel and if they are trying to tell you something, but not yet fully speaking, but is still mumbled and in baby talk, then chatting with them to find out what they want is the key, and use images to help them to.
Good routine, that helps you and them. It lets them see that not every hour or day is playtime and they must do some learning too, to help with their independence and wellbeing.
Having mum and son time. This really helps us to bond as mother and son, example: building lego, doing some fun homework, as it doesn’t have to be strict, or watching a bit of TV together
Set boundaries, which I talk a lot about, as this helps them see what is good and what is bad, and if they are bad then there are consequences, like not allowing them to watch their iPad , but when they are good then they can
Both getting outdoor time. I think this is important as we can all get bored being stuck indoors all day. I know we have been in lockdown, so couldn’t be helped, but now we can go out more it does a world of good, as it breaks down the day and whilst your child is playing in the park, you can have some time sitting down drinking a coffee if you wish and both allowing each other some space
Arranging play dates. Again this has been tricky with the Pandemic, but now we can socialise more, why not have a play date, it gives them time to spend with other children and yourself, spending time with other adults and parents.
If you have some good habits that I haven’t listed then please share in the comments section below.
Today was a hit a miss day. Henry did his last day of his School Sports club which was organized by Headstart, please read my previous post: Afterschool and summer clubs
So he was full of beans this morning and enjoyed his last day of the club, and was a pleasure on the journey back home.
We then later on after Henry had his lunch took him to a funfair in Wimbledon Park. Well of course as soon as he saw the playground as there are two in the park, he wanted to go in them.
However we wanted him to do this last and do the funfair first, as we weren’t sure how long it was open for, and as soon as we entered Henry wanted to go on the airplane ride. Henry has ADHD and so his patience for queuing is pretty limited and was really kicking off whilst we got him tokens to go on the rides, and also the bouncy castle.
The one thing about funfairs is like playgrounds, it is great getting them in there, it is just getting them out again that can be tricky. You can often be the parent whose child is screaming blue murder, because they don’t want to leave and suddenly you want to have a tantrum of your own and say “This ain’t fare why is it always my child?”, but then we’d probably be criticized by those parenting trolls and asked to leave.
Henry did not want to get off the bouncy castle and decided to have the poor lady who was in charge of the castle, chase him round. Honestly they say parents can be embarrassing, kids can be too, trust me. Finally the lady who was running the bouncy castle got him off at which we had to say “That isn’t right” and explained to him that he has to come off when he is told to, and we did pre-warn him first before he went onto the bouncy castle. With my son though, when he is defiant it is hard to negotiate with him, in any case he did say sorry, and then he did go on a couple more rides again, but he kept getting upset when the rides had finished and so we decided to go.
Henry I could see was tired and wasn’t really the best time to go, because he has been awake for ages, because he wakes up so early.
The one thing I would say, is if you can take them when they aren’t tired and are the most cooperative then do so, and for us that is in the morning.
However, we took Henry to have an Ice Cream and he was fine. He sat in the cafe there and ate him ice cream without a murmur.
Now as I am writing this blog, he has laid in bed no getting up because I have left the room to have a shower, like he can do one some evenings and went to the toilet and brushed his teeth happily and so if you have up and down days too, but have a peaceful evening, just take in when parenting is bliss, as like me, you never know how long it will last.
When it comes to parenting, no days are the same and one minute they can be happy and doing as their told to being a total pest.
Henry has joined his first summer school club. I was indecisive of what to do, as I really wanted him to take part in a school club activity, but as Rugbytots was a failure, I wasn’t sure how he would do. This club is organized by Headstart and it is teaching children all different sports.
So far he has been lovin it and done really well.
His first day, Monday was a little nervy because he did get up and run off, like he can but when I caught him and sat him back down, he then followed the coaches instructions and joined and had lots of fun.
I stayed until the first break, as they do three 45 minutes of different sports and then in between have 15 minute breaks, so they can have a drink, use the toilet and have a snack and just time so the coaches can then set things up for the next 45 minute session.
I would say to other parents thinking about joining your child to do a sports club of some kind to let the organisers know if your child has any special needs or requirements. As Henry does have ADHD, the guy who was incharge, Mark, said that the organisation can’t provide one-to-one care, so that’s why I stayed in to see how he does in the first session, just to see how he gets on.
I think it is important for your child to try different clubs, because they can benefit them so much, with socialising, communication, listening, working in teams and he gets plenty of exercise, plus he loves sport.
We still have today and tomorrow to go, so I am going to see how Henry continues on and if he really does like it and enjoys it then I will join him into doing the after school club with Headstart (the organisation that hosts the club).
When it comes to doing clubs, never be shy in asking the organisers of the club, if your child can do a trial run. They may say no, but never be fearful of asking, as all they will say is no. Once you have checked then you can decide from there.
Of course it is important that they are able to get changed by themselves and go to the toilet independently as there won’t always be someone with them, but what I liked is Mark the man in charge, asked Henry’s coach, as the kids were divided in different groups, to show Henry where the toilets were, should he need to go.
If you are not sure about joining your child to an afterschool club, then book them into a summer clubs at their school (if their school does any clubs), then see how they get on. There is no harm in trying these clubs out, as you will soon know if they aren’t ready to take part in afterschool club.
The club was £60 and that was for the four days, as Headstart clubs are in the summer and run for 4 days during different weeks. There were some kids who did all the weeks and some that did a few, you can decide, but when you do, get in early as the places for these types of clubs, get booked up very quickly.
I managed to get a place because someone cancelled the day before, so I got the last place.
Anyway so far it has been good, so fingers crossed it will be the same for all the days of the club and then will look at joining Henry up to the after school club, this coming year.
I know we still have a few weeks left of the summer holidays, but as the weeks seem to fly by, it will soon be another school year.
First tip# Have all your school uniform in one place, so you can just take it out and go through it, and do some checking by having your children try on the uniform to see what they have grown out of, and what items they will need for the next year, that will fit them.
This will give you time to get some new bits rather than waiting to order items at the last minute.
Second tip# Label everything with your child’s name on it, even their underwear, as Henry still has the odd accident and also their socks. You can either use stickers, or write on the label or like Emily Norris showed in one of her videos, which I will link, used a stamp to label her children’s clothes and it was strong ink so it wouldn’t rub off.
Look for second hand uniform as some items don’t need to be brand new as they do grow so quickly and then you can reuse it for your next child, if you have more than one child.
Third tip# If your school does a uniform sale, which follows on to what I said above, that is second hand uniform, just make sure you relabel it with your child’s name and you wash it first before it is worn, as it would have been handled by many people, before it needs to be wornby your child.
The night before the school year terms starts, hang each child’s uniform in their room or if they get dressed in the Living room then have it hanging in their for the morning.
Tip 4# To help save you time, do a check list and to help your child to be independent give them individual check lists so they can go through their bags and clothes to make sure they have it already for school the next day.
Tip 5# Do a block schedule, so you can print one out or make one, as I have done for my personal planner and my financial planner. I am going to update block schedule by having separate google calendars for school dates, work and personal.
Using google calendar is great as you can take it wherever you go on your phone and set reminders for other things you need to remember.
Tip 6# Make Fridays your clear out day, so you have a good clear out of their school bags, wash all uniform including PE Kit and sports wear, update their diary and check for any homework that is due.
When it comes to homework set a plan of when you will do homework each day and show them. Give your child a schedule so they to can see when they will have homework, when they will have play time, dinner and then bed.
Tip 7# Start looking at booking afterschool clubs, if you would like your child to stay on after schools finishes especially if you work full time, and/or just want some extra time during the day, then book as soon as new places become available. My son’s school have already put the forms up ready and so we have filled this in.
When it comes to choosing an afterschool club, and are not sure if you child will be happy to go to one, then you usually have to contact the actual club organisers which are separate from the school, and ask if your child can try it out first. Some may say no, but there is no harm in asking. Usually when it comes to school clubs, because they are a separate company to the school, they won’t do 1 to 1 care, like they do during the school day, so if you are unsure then I would wait until your child is a more independent and can change their clothes on their own, can go the toilet by themselves and not reliant on another person.
You will soon know when your child is ready and when you do know, get in quick as going on my own knowledge, places for afterschool clubs can fill up very quickly.
Tip 8# Get them prepared for the new school year. At my son’s school they did a couple of transition days towards the end of the last year, and with Henry they did the transition for him the week before whilst he was attending school after Lockdown, and they have created a book about his new year in September to help us get him prepared.
You can do the same, just ask if you can take pictures but make sure you don’t post them on social media to protect your child and other children. In the booklet show them where their classroom will be and look like, where their pegs are going to be, who will be their teacher and assistant teachers and where they will have playtime and lunch.
Tip 9# If your child has not attended that school before or it is their first year, then do a trial run of the journey. Often at schools they will do a Moving up day or a introduction days, so they can get to know their new surroundings, there maybe some children they may already know , because often the nurseries they have been to, if local they will take the children over to the school so they can see what it is like then too. Don’t be surprised if they are a little bit daunted as it is a huge transition from nursery to school, as there are more rules and regulations that we as a parents have to follow and for our children.
There is a brilliant learning activity book that Henry chose with some money he was given and bought it from The Works, and it is a Let’s get ready for School Activity kit, and it has a activity book, instructions for parents of how to use the kit and has a book about starting school and what he will need.
Tip 10# So you can get ready before your kids have to, set your alarm half an hour to an hour before your children wake up, if they tend to wake up late. If they are like my son and early bird, then I don’t really need an alarm, because he is my alarm and gets up anytime between 4am to 6am, so no chance for me to get up before hand, as this means getting up at 3am.
So I have my shower, clothes hung up and picked for the next day, along with my sons uniform and bags packed by the door, so all I have do is get myself dressed, get my son dressed and have breakfast and then off to school.
When it comes to the school run it is always a mad dash, but if you can prepare and plan ahead it will help with the mad rush and concentrate on getting there.
There will be more blogs and tools to come for getting your kids ready for the new school term, so please keep a look out for posts and more printables.
Hello and welcome to another parenting blog. In this post I writing about how to deal with the strops. My son is very stroppy at the moment, and it can be about the most minute thing, like Grandpa not opening the gates for us to park outside our home and it being nanny instead.
He gets stroppy if he isn’t pushed on the swing, because we are trying to teach him how to work the swing on his own, and he will pull the biggest strop ever, by stamping his fit, winge and then starts to get vicious. So to stop him I tell him “If you don’t want to go home I suggest you stop that otherwise you won’t get anything you want and hitting me is not going to help you”.
This will usually stop him, but when it becomes a continuous thing through the day it can really start to wear thin on your patience and then I can explode, but when I do that he can start laughing and not take me seriously which then really gets my back up, as I know he is doing it because he knows that he has got me and will continue to be defiant, so what I do then is say “Right okay, we’ll go home and you won’t play out again for the rest of the day or get your tablet”.
Kids need to know where you stand and when you are being serious and from experience shouting doesn’t seem to do the trick, but taking something he loves playing with away from him keeping a steady voice, he does.
When I was a kid my dad was very strict and if we didn’t eat our dinner we were told that we couldn’t leave the table unless we had finished our dinner and I could be sitting there for hours with my dinner was getting cold and if we started being a pain in the bum we were then sent to bed with no TV and were slapped.
That was a different time and there was no naughty step and so our punishment was to go to bed until the next day, or weren’t allowed to play outside in the Estate where we lived. Please check out my book called The Peabody Years, which documents my life back when I lived in Peabody Estate in Hammersmith. It is available via Amazon.
The roads, the park and the adventure play ground were our playground most of the time and playing in the streets were the normality of those days, before the internet and ipads, etc came along. It was a different lifetime.
Now kids have a load of activities to choose from, but if they decide to be stroppy and uncooperative, not doing as they are told then why should they get a new toy or play on their bike?
I am a great believer that if you are good then you are rewarded, but if you don’t behave then you won’t get a rewarded or get to play with their favourite toy.
Also when Henry is tired he can get super stropy and boisterous, by grabbing the first item he sees and chucks it. He will become overtired which for my son it is dangerous territory as he will start to be a pain in the bum when it comes to going to bed and to sleep.
Having a good bedtime routine can take control of that and helps them understand when it is time for bed, it is time to be quiet and chillout.
Set rules and boundaries, and put them up on the wall so they know how they must behave and what happens when they are good compared to when they are not.
The more they understand about how they must behave helps them when they start school or nursery, because of playing with other kids and how to be respectful to their teachers.
Soon they will back at school and so if you are counting down the days then have no fear it will soon be here, and I am going to post a lot in the coming weeks as we get nearer of tips and tricks of getting ready to go back to school.
So thank you so much for all that are following me on this blog so far and have liked my posts, it is truly amazing and wouldn’t go a day without you guys keeping me going.
When it comes to being a parent there are all kinds of worries that can cause us not to sleep well at night. My son at the moment is very stroppy when he can’t have his way, hits out when he doesn’t get what he wants and keeps on and on repeating himself to see if he keeps on that we will suddenly change our minds.
Parenting is stressful at times and often we can feel like we have no control over the situation. We suddenly feel guilty for not knowing what to do, but feel that we should know what to do and be prepared for any situation, because of parenting instinct.
However they are little humans and we have no idea what really goes through their minds, like we don’t know what is going on in other adults minds. Kids are unpredictable, one minute they like eating bananas the next they don’t. They are continuously changing their minds over things so being a parent it can be baffling.
Reducing parenting stress I would advise you to not just put your child in time out, but you too. Not meaning that you should be punished, but moving away from the situation, to give yourself time to breath, think and then act.
When you both have calmed down, so you and your child, then explain to them, that their behaviour is not good and if you want to be happy and want me to be happy, then you must be nice and do as mummy or daddy asks.
I do believe in taking items they love away from them if they can’t be good and decide to be horrible instead, because it makes them see that kicking and screaming is not going to get them what they want, and they have to understand that mum and dad, or nan and grandad, have boundaries that must not be crossed.
It is teaching kids to be respectful and kind.
The sooner a child understands about boundaries the more they will see that if they are listening and being good, then they will have the things they love and enjoy, and makes everyone happy.
Showing a child pictures of different emotions can help them in their understanding of what makes everyone around them happy, when someone is unhappy and sad.
I watched a video by one of my favourite Youtubers, called Do It On a dime and she talked about how she felt last year that she couldn’t get into teaching her sons at home, yet she had been a teacher for many years. In the video she recommends another lady who has a website and a Youtube channel to help you when you feel overwhelmed.
She suggests looking at photos of the different ages of when you were your children’s age and what would you tell your younger self.
The other thing I would suggest is to journal and create goals for both you and your children to help with their learning and development.
Kids need to understand that there are rules set for a reason and that is to allow them to play but nicely and safely.
So lets continue to enjoy the rest of the school summer holidays and try to have a happy home as much as possible.
Being a parent we can often neglect ourselves because we are so focussed on our kids, but what about the key things we need:
A place where you can take 5 minutes of peace and quiet, so why not create a place in your garden or a room where you can just sit and be quiet, and put a sign on the door, “Only come in once mum or dad has had some quiet time”.
A hobby. I am loving my weekends now and so my hobby for myself at the weekends is to do some walking in many different places and sit in the sun reading a book, writing in my journals or planning my writing for my books and blogs
Time with friends. Being a parent we can often feel isolated and lonely at times so make a date with your friends to have some time with them, whilst someone else takes care of your baby
Learn something new. I love doing training courses, so I will often go onto Offcourse.co.uk and do a course to help me with my work and on my own personal development
Take yourself on a date. So now I have my weekends free, I will be having a lot of dates with myself and going on many trips. You don’t have to necessarily spend money but just go out and explore
Parks with a kiosk, so you can grab that well earned coffee whether hot or cold, whilst your kids are playing
Cook your favourite meal for once or go out to dinner, with no kids for a change and put on a movie or play out some tunes, respecting your neighbours or fellow public in parks, and bring some festival music to enjoy your summer even more
Have money saved just for you, not just for your kids, so you can save up for things you would would like on your wish list aswell as your kids
As parents, it isn’t often that we get time to ourselves so when we do, it is important I think to make the most of any free time, to help us recharge our batteries.
It is important to look after our own wellbeing aswell as I kids, as when we are happy, they will be happy too.
New changes to when I will be posting blogs on this site. Instead of posting on a Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday. I will be now posting on a Monday, Wednesday, Thursday and Saturday.
When I was a kid I loved doing pretend play where we would pretend to be mums with our dollies and toy pushchairs walking around the Estate I lived in or played indoors.
I remember when Sarah Ferguson married Prince Andrew and we each pretended to be a royal bride and go up some steps which used to be a laundry room or something like that, and pretended that we were on the Royal Balcony with people cheering us.
Neither of us kissed just to say, it was never like that but we just liked to pretend we were different people for a good few hours.
Creating pretend play like having a toy kitchen area, having a dolls house or costumes were great, and we were always in fancy dress. Helping kids to use their imagination is great for them to build relationships with other children and learn to create stories.
It encourages them to speak and make associations with things so they know what a fireman looks like, what a hospital kit looks like and what you do in a kitchen.
Normally now when a kid starts school they will start of by doing more learning through play rather than beginning a child’s school life doing sit down work and Henry has really benefited through play, as he will often do pretend play with his drafts kid and play tipping point, he knows what 10,000 pounds is and pretends that the person he is imagining himself as, gets the jackpot of 10,000 pounds.
He has learned through continuing to play in the park with other kids how to climb more challenging climbing frames, which really helps with his motor skills, which are important.
Kids will learn what is washing machine if they have pretend one at home that they can play with, and what you do if you have a kitchen sink, and knows that this is for cleaning dishes.
I loved writing and creating stories since I was a kid and would often do writing and I think that kids should still do handwriting lessons like I had at school because I do think where we have electronic devices now, how handwriting can become affected, I know mine has since I have been using the computer more, and so I do make a point of actually writing, and getting kids to do fun writing games can really help with their growth and development.
Create a story with your child and make it as creative and fun as possible, then you have something you can keep forever and look back on.
With my son Henry I want him to have lots of good memories of his childhood and be able to look back and smile, and doing pretend play is a great way to bond with your children, and gets the child out of you too.
Hello and welcome. if you didn’t read my previous post called When kids run off and children go missing, then you wouldn’t have seen the free printable that I had created about Parenting Dilemmas and how to deal with them, as there are very many and so please check out my printable here for this information.
When it comes to parenting it can lead you scratching your head, not meaning you have nits, but because of being baffled like I have been as to what to do, so thought I would share some of my own tips that I have learned since becoming a parent myself and how to deal with them.
Should you have any questions about parenting then please ask in the comments section below and I will be happy to answer them.
I set up this blog up because I wanted to help fellow parents because with kids there are no real instructions, so I knew I wanted to share my own experience to help others as there are many things that you are never told that I like to share in my posts.
I hope you do find my free printable helpful and if you have any feedback of topics you’d like me to cover about being a parent then do ask.
Yesterday I had the fright of my life. I was in Poundland in Putney, London when all of a sudden I let go of my son’s had for literally a second and he sprints out of the shop door.
I then put back the item I was taking off the shelf and run after him, but couldn’t see him or what direction he took. My heart was in my mouth as Putney is a big town and lots of people, so he could have gone anywhere.
Luckily this lovely lady came and saw that I was somewhat distressed and knew that I was looking for a child, and said to me”Don’t worry we will find him” and she grabbed a security officer who was about to radio to another security guy to look for him.
We went back to Poundland and luckily he had returned, but I was at this point out of my whitsend, and boy did I tell him off, not screaming at him but to the point he was shaking from head to foot as I honestly thought for a minute I had completely lost him and did not know what to do.
I thought that he was well passed that stage of childhood, off running off and was going to write about on my other parenting blog how he is much more able to walk with me without needing to hold my hand and stay by my side, but after yesterday’s events, it made me see that when it comes to kids there is no knowing what they will do sometimes, and you do have to stay on your toes at all times.
As said Putney is quite a busy town with a very large busy road, and near the river too, so who knows what could have happened if I hadn’t been helped.
I am so grateful for other mums and parents because at the time you think you are the only one who this has happened to but it isn’t, and the lady that initially helped me knew exactly what to do, and tried to keep me calm whilst we looked for him.
I remember once when I was a kid I without telling my parents went to play inside someone elses home and so when my mum came to find me she couldn’t and then suddenly there was a search party looking for me, and then when she found out, of course I got a bollocking.
Of course at the time I was unaware of what distress I caused, until now I am a parent myself and when a child does go missing it is a parents worst nightmare; and I have had dreams where Henry has gone missing and couldn’t find him, so after yesterday I am going to make sure that he holds my hand at all times or stays close to me, if not we don’t go out.
I do feel at times you do have to be tough with children so they understand that if they run off it is dangerous and makes us all sad and unhappy, and there was another lady who saw me burst into tears afterwards, who told my son that he mustn’t do that because he had scared me so much.
I now get why my parents were so vigilant in knowing when and where we were going, because a child can go missing within a second and if there are lots of people around who knows where they could be.
Anyway, thankfully as said my son did return to where he ran from, but it did shake my up today and so we stayed local and in a park I know he won’t run out from.
If you are in a park please do the courtesy thing and put the lock on the gates just in case, as I have seen an even smaller child some weeks back who ran out of the gate, when his mum had been busy pushing another child on the swing.
Remember that parks are public areas and we should all do the common sense thing and that is,
To watch our kids all the time
Make sure they don’t walk in front of a moving swing
Stand to close to a merrygoround as I seen kids get hit by one of these in my Estate where I used to live in Hammersmith
You make sure that there isn’t another child at the bottom of a slide before your child slides down it
Keep gates closed and shut at all times.
That children don’t get too close to each other now because of COVID 19 and they wash and sanitize their hands before and after using the equipment and using the gates in the park
The more we try to keep ourselves and our children safe the more we can focus on them having a good time and some fun, without going missing or getting hurt.
I have created a new printable about Parenting Dilemmas and how to deal with them:
In today’s society it can be a tricky world, and it can take its toll on us and our kids. For no fault of their own they may be unsure of you, even if you are their parent. They try to work you out, whilst you try and work them out. They may have a tone of questions for you, yet are scared to ask.
Gaining a kids #trust is something that is very important that we all do, so they know that we, the childs parents and we will never allow anyone to hurt them. Yet, they may be still weary of you, to tell you that they are afraid of someone, and you can tell by,
How distant they are from you and others in your social circle
They don’t join in with other kids fun
They may be very quiet and unsure
Be weary of changing in front of other kids2
If yo know that your child is seeming strange then nevernag, but ask them “How are you feeling today? What can i do to help?2.
They may not say anything to you at first, but you have opened your ears and door so they can talk to you, once they are ready to.
If a child makes mistakes then never make it into a big deal, but say “Okay, no worres, let me tell you what you need to do to help you”. I remember when I would holiday in Clacton and I forgot to pick up the change from the lady who worked in the Tuck Shop just outside the Disco venue, and when I forgot to pick up the change I was owed, they made it into such a big deal that I didn’t do it again, to buy any sweets or chocolate, and then they questioned why I found it daunting to buy anything on my own.
I found being on my own at school lonely, yet when I got home I would take sanction on being on my own. When we think of school we think of “Oh God I wonder what we’ll happen today?”, to when you get home after school you view changes of “Oh i wonder what I can do when I get home, I am so looking forward to watching neighbours”. Kids feel comfortable when they shift from dread to I can’t wait.
So, being a parent, if I found out my son didn’t trust me, it would break my heart, but I know he does. He isn’t afraid to express his love for me, because I don’t hold back to express how I love him. It goes hand in hand. What you give out to your kids, you take back from your kids.
Always set up something that you child can look forward to, and show them pictures to help with their excitement. Many kids have fear when they have no idea as to where they are going and what they will be doing?
Yes you can surprise them, but some kids find this “Oh God why didn’t you tell me, I am not sure about this”. So you can still surprise but give them a heads up, to let them know beforehand “Right, we are going to see some animals today, and some other things you love, are you ready?”. Now that says, I have a surprise for you, and that it is something they know, before they leave the safetly of the hom,e, of some idea of where they are going. Kids like my son who have ADHD, often if they see a load of people, can make them freak out.
So if they do take them to a place like a zoo when it is less quieter and that they aren’t going to have a meltdown, as kids will if they are unsure of a place, and it is anxiety when they do.
Often we mislay aggressive behaviour with bad behaviour, but it is often because they are saying “I have a problem with this and I want you to tell me that is going to be okay”.
So instead of punishment, try interventions like easy flexible parent, and see the wider picture, rather then it being another kid having a tissy fit, and that they are trying to say “i dont trust this can you see I have a problem” and ask then “Why don’t you want to go there and ways where they know what is going to happen, now and next method.
I will do more about this and I have written some new EBooks for parents which are like Parent Guide to give support and if you would like to check them out, you can on Amazon.com under the name Carrie Lee Holmes.
![Child Safety and Protection : Keeping our kids safe from Harm by [Carrie L.M]](https://m.media-amazon.com/images/I/510hJikArWL._SY346_.jpg)
![Jo Frost's Toddler Rules: Your 5-Step Guide to Shaping Proper Behaviour by [Jo Frost]](https://m.media-amazon.com/images/I/41yjiOYXwfL.jpg)
