Having a Premature baby and some things you may not have known

Me and my son Henry in a rare Selfie 

I realised after thinking about my blogs I write on this site, that I don’t think I have ever covered the subject of Premature birth, even though Henry was a Premature baby.

As it was Henry’s birthday last week and bought back some memories as it does every year, thought I would talk about having a premature baby now, and some information which you may not have known prior to having a baby.

Having a Premature baby can be a massive shock, of course it can be the same for full term babies, but I honestly had no idea that Henry was going to be born early. I had come to the conclusion in my head that Henry would be born as planned in January 2014, not in November 2013, and I remember coming across a article in a mother and baby magazine about the subject of premature births and thought “I don’t need to read that it will be okay” and really felt bad about that afterwards, when Henry was born at 31 weeks.

I really wished I hadn’t be so dismissive and read the article because  I think from my own opinion and what I have learned since this happened, you should be some what prepared should it happen because it is more common premature births than what you may think.

My waters broke on the Saturday the 9th November and even when that happened until looking back I hadn’t realised that it was my actual waters breaking. It hadn’t occurred to me, not having a baby before and thought it was too early.

I was about to watch the new series of Dracula at 9pm and suddenly all this water started pouring out of me like a massive tidal wave. I had no idea as to what to do, and so found my paper work that hospital gave me should anything happen like serious pains or bleeding, but nothing about what to do if your waters broke early than expected. I called the number on the sheet anyway but it was a messaging service and then called my mum.

In the end as we live luckily live just around the corner from our local hospital, rushed around their and went to the delivery ward.

I got to say from the moment we reached the delivery ward they took action and were brilliant. I had no idea as to what was going on, and was very distressed because I didn’t know if I was going to lose my baby or if I would suddenly give birth. NO IDEA!

I ended up being transferred to another hospital because our local one doesn’t deliver babies before 34 weeks and they thought that the babies head was engaged and so could possibly give birth.

That didn’t happen and the nurses at our local hospital got that wrong, but I still glad they did what they did. When we got to the other hospital my blood sugar level was going up and up, and apparently my heart rate was going berserk too.

In the end by early hours of Monday, once the hospital staff at the other hospital saw that Henry’s heart rate kept dropping, decided that he should be born and was born by C Section at 1:30am at 31 weeks.

Apparently before this I was contracting and only felt one thing, and that was a tightening in my stomach from my ribs down to my tummy. I am still to this day sure if this was an contraction because not having one before I had and still have no idea really as to what one is like, so still not sure if I felt the contractions or not but apparently they were happening.

I know someone wrote an article about how C Sections is a lazy form of child birth but let me tell you, SO TOTALLY WRONG. The decision of having my son, Henry at that time was taken out of my hands and I could see how ever much it was distressing at the time for me, that the staff I could see had mine and the babies best interests at heart and wanted Henry to be born with as little problems as possible.

As far as I am concerned it was the best decision, because they discovered when they had delivered Henry that he got caught with the umbilical cord around his neck and that’s why he was a getting distressed and why his heart rate was dropping.

Never feel bad about which way your baby was born especially by Cesarean because you do what you have to do, and if it saves you and the baby’s life what is more important?

Some other things you may not have known:

• Your waters can break from usually 26 weeks and you have sacks around the sack with the baby in, which can leak and that is what happened in my case as in the end my son’s wasn’t engaged but something caused the sack to leak and they gave me antibiotics as soon as they saw what was happening and once you are open downstairs, because the sack has leaked it means that you can catch an infection up your vagina which in turn can effect you and the baby. Check out this article on NHS which has further details: https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/pregnancy-and-baby/premature-early-labour/ and Tommys.org too
• Anyone even healthy people can get Gestational diabetes which was in my case and this can rise rapidly when pregnant, so do get tested if they send you to do a Oral Glucose Intolerance Test do it and if you are concerned do speak with your health professional, doctor or midwife about it. Once Henry was born though my blood sugar levels returned to normal, so please try not to freak out.
• Once your baby is born sorry to inform you but this is a warning as I wasn’t aware until I had it and wish I had, but I ended up having Piles and I know another mum did too. Very, very painful, but check with your health advisor, midwife or doctor as there are creams and medication. Check before you buy, because some oral medications may not a be able to be taken if you are breastfeeding.
• Babies make a lot of noise, more than you can expect. Neither myself or my husband knew this, and the first night we bought Henry home neither of us got much sleep as we were not prepared for that at all, and they can do this thing where they hold their breath and then breath again. Very scary but you do get used to it, and if you ever are concerned do please speak to your health visitor.
• Getting your boobs ready for producing milk can be hard work, but once you get used to it, it can become easier and if I were to do it again, I would have seeked out breastfeeding counselling, which does exist as it can stress you out and you can feel defeated when you see other mums producing a cup fall when you can’t produce a single drop. Massaging and using a warm flannel to help warm up your boobs, can help. Always use an electrical express pump not a manual, as it can take a very long time.
• If they tell you that you need to express 8 to 12 times a day, please don’t feel you need to follow exactly that, because a lot of that is what they have been advised to tell you and because that is the guide line. When I didn’t and rested as that is so important too, get rest and sleep, I produced a lot more milk compared to when I did do it that amount of times with little sleep.
• Get your hospital bag ready as soon as you hit the 25 week mark as I didn’t and it was a massive rush in the end, and one item that I never listed but would advise you to do so, is to have coldsore and moisturizer, because hospitals can be very dry places and if you are prone to coldsores, then the chances are you may get one. which in turn in my case I couldn’t visit Henry for about a week until it had cleared because of course in the neonatal ward there are other babies and they can if not careful can easily get infected.
• The neonatal ward can be a very intense and distressing place as when your baby is born premature, from that point forward you have no idea what will happen from each day to the next. Sorry to be abrupt but it is true and so my advice take a deep breath and if you need to have time to be on your own take the time, but it is important you see your baby because your baby will recognise your voice and when you hold them for the first time and they hold your finger helps you bond with your baby, and get to know them.
• The monitoring screens and wires attached to your baby can play tricks with your mind and there was one day where I was watching it like a hawk. My advice block them out and if your baby looks peaceful and okay, then they are okay and if you have any questions for the neonatal staff, ask because they will give you a peace of mind and reassurance, which often is what we need.
• The bath technique can kill your arm as even when they are tiny they wriggle and can wince, and once home you can often find your own technique. Take your time and again if you need help from the neonatal staff whilst your child is there that is a great opportunity to ask any questions and raise any concerns you have.
• One advantage about having a child in the special care baby unit, which really noone if truth were to be told, would really ever want to be in, the staff help prepare you more for when it is time to take your baby home, and you can in our case, spend the night in the neonatal ward the night before you take your baby home.They can send you home with your baby around the 35 week mark and can inform you literally the week before. Sometimes with a full term baby you don’t get this attention and can be left in limbo and sent home. 
• Babies should be in a crib or Moses basket when they are first at home, not a cot, especially as they can still be tiny. Make sure their feet touch the bottom of their crib or basket, with blanket around them, away from their face, and never cover their face.
• Don’ trust free nappies at baby shows, because in our case they were rubbish and so when Henry had a massive pooh explosion the nappies didn’t hold any of the pooh and was all down our sons legs and in his babygro. Sorry to put you off your food if you are eating but I have to tell you this because the more prepared you are the more I hope it will save you from getting distressed which can happen especially when you first bring you child home, and can save yourself a lot of time and have more time to recuperate whilst baby is happy sleeping.
• They can grow teeth very early. The midwife I worked with when I used to give tips and advice on Avent products, because I worked for the company for a little while told me that her daughter was born with a full grown milk tooth.
• Your C Section scar can become sore. When I did my first 10K run in 2014 after I had my son and crouched down once run was complete, boy did my scar hurt and was not aware and did catch me by surprise.
• When babies reach the 8 week mark they are classed as full term babies by then, and I was advised not to do any form of exercise until I had my 8 week check.
• Do practice your Pelvic Floor which is allowed after baby and you return home and the nurses will usually give you advice and a leaflet on this, as after baby is born you can end up quite loose down their and have embarrassing leaks.
• Babies can have what I used to call “Milk snots” where basically they have milk coming out of their nose. Again my husband and I had no idea and when it first happened when Henry was in his cot in the neonatal ward were both in complete shock, the neonatal nurse was like “Yes that’s normal”, we were like “How come no one told us?”. It can be a nasty shock if you have never had or looked after a baby before who’s had this. It can feel like you are in a scene in an Alien film.
• The painkillers that they give you in the hospital after you have had a baby and the numbness wears off, as they numb you from I would say the rib cage to your private area before your C Section, and the surgery room was very cold. I was shivering, but the painkillers can have some side effects. The main one was that I couldn’t read a book as the lines were wavy and disorientated.
• I didn’t sleep for two days only on the Tuesday once Henry was born, as they prick your finger if you have gestational diabetes every half hour to an hour, because of my blood sugar level being so high and was attached to two drips, which made it very hard to go to the toilet and had to use a bedpan. I managed to find a way to pee whilst it was on the bed and I didn’t have to go very far.
• This leads me to the next thing. Your dignity can go right out of the window, but you end up not caring.
• The hospital after Henry was born gave me the option to go home on the Thursday after Henry was born or go back into another ward. I was because of my situation put in a single ward, but it depends on the hospital but due to needing the room for another patient which I totally respect was offered to go into another ward with other people or go home. It is entirely your choice, and if you decide to go home, remember your baby is being very much cared for in the neonatal ward and you can spend as much time in the neonatal ward as you like, as in our case the staff there encouraged us to be as involved in our baby’s care as much as possible.
• Expect a lot of bleeding after having a baby and can stop for a bit whilst breastfeeding.
• You need as much rest as possible. Yes it is good to be active whilst pregnant but it is especially once your baby is born that you allow yourself time to properly recover as any kind of birth going on my own experience is hard and your body is traumatized. You have delivered another human for heavens sake, so it can take its toll on you, and it can be a culture shock.
• Other relatives are not allowed to hold your baby in the neonatal ward, because of infection. This may have changed but be aware and do wash and tell your friends and family visitors to wash their hands, as it did bother me when people didn’t when I always made sure my family and friends did. Being in the neonatal ward is hard and so the less you have to worry about the better.
• All belongings are kept in the clockroom outside the neonatal ward too and the staff may refuse you from taking photos, in our case you wasn’t allowed a mobile phone in the neonatal ward but we were allowed to take a photo with a normal camera.
• The hospital staff will usually give you some information once your baby has been born preterm about premature birth and what to expect, but I think this should be given prior to having a baby aswell, because even though it can still be a shock you can have some idea of what to expect and give you more reassurance that its not all doom and gloom, even though it may seem so at the time, and often your baby is okay and will still thrive from being born so early.
• Do read the stories and letters from other parents outside the neonatal ward if you can, as these really helped make me feel better when I did worry about our son in the ward.
• Premature babies can often have difficulty in breathing at first, and will be given different type of breathing equipment to help them. Henry had a C-Pap, but was off this after a day or so, and you are often if your waters do break and there is a chance the baby may be delivered early be given an injection to help the baby’s lungs, to help them breathe if they arrive.
• Babies can develop jaundice. Nothing to be too alarmed about as they will usually test this early as soon as they are born, and if they are on the line or under they will usually be put them under a blue light with a face mask over their eyes to protect them, and can recover from this quite quickly. You can often tell if they are slightly jaundice as they can be a yellowy colour.
• You may need a special insert for the car seat as the normal baby car seats can be too big, and at our hospital they provided this or you, which you did have to pay for, or you can get these elsewhere. Check this link on Amazon for an example: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Kiddy-41905EK008-Premature-Inlay/dp/B00DGF0F2E  
• There are tiny baby nappies and clothes, but you can bring in normal size nappies not clothes, to use on your baby in the neonatal ward too.
• Don’t use wipes when baby is first born but use warm water and cotton balls and expect their pooh to be black like tar and sticky.
• Babies will tend to lose a bit of weight at first and then gain weight afterwards.
• I know this may seem obvious but many parents including us got this wrong when first nappy changing our son. The nappy goes on with the end with the sticker strips at the back of the baby (so the bottom) and you attach the strips at the front of the nappy with the smaller part at the front of your baby. If you have a baby boy make sure their penis is pointing downwards not up. Very important because they can leak out of the nappy and pee can come shooting out over the top, making you change it again.
• Lay the clean nappy under the dirty one (so the one you are changing) because often than not, they can pee and pooh before you have put the fresh one on. Check out his video by Emily Norris of Baby Changing Hacks: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eALsRJctUSY
• Change their nappy before they have had their milk as do it afterwards, they can bring up their milk.
• With Henry because he ended up having reflux was given Infant Gaviscone in his milk, which were sachets and read the instructions before giving this and the neonatal staff will usually give you instructions on how to apply this, but can only have a certain amount per day, so do check before using. Please see link for an example of this product: https://www.your-pharmacy.co.uk/gaviscon-infant-sachets/prd-0146650?gclid=Cj0KCQiAtrnuBRDXARIsABiN-7BY8qhAC8yJQ4mnNWt43jQB4ZFU170QSMOGOB9H292566zVvpzV6rUaAup4EALw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds
• They may advise for no visitors for about a week or so once you bring your child home and if anyone has a cold, be polite but keep them away, as children that are born premature are more likely to get ill too especially being still tiny and this can lead to serious consequences. Any children visiting make sure they are out of uniform and have been cleaned and showered, and again make sure they have washed their hands before holding your baby for the first time.

• I was shocked when hearing this, but one of the neonatal staff told us how one child was given a piece of food when they were first bought home by a visitor and was rushed to hospital because they almost choked. PLEASE DO NOT DO THIS AND ADVISE ALL VISITORS TO NEVER TRY, AS IT MAY BE A BIT OF FUN TO THEM BUT NOT WHEN YOUR CHILD IS CHOKING AND BEING RUSHED TO HOSPITAL

• If your baby is returned to the hospital doesn’t mean they will return to the special care ward, but to a normal ward with other different aged babies and can often get further infections. Please do not think I am scare mongering but wanting you to be aware in case you didn’t know and glad I was told, because it did make continue to be vigilante and we can often forget when we are at home, in a normal environment, and it can happen.
• When a baby cries doesn’t always mean their hungry, and make sure you feed them again, if it is for example 4 hours it is from when they first began their feed not after their feed has finished, and we did get that wrong. Don’t worry as a child will never go hungry and will give you signs like, they will move their head and lips to indicate they are hungry, and never have a room too hot, as they an overheat and in Henry’s case got more distressed and felt the warm more when it was hot rather than cold. Of course every child is different but a room doesn’t have to be overly warm, just comfortable, and don’t put their cot if you can help it by a door or window because there can often be a draft, and keep away from a radiator.
• One item to invest in,is a room thermometer. So handy and you get different ones. Check out this link on Amazon for examples: https://www.amazon.co.uk/
• They can grow very rapidly and so don’t over do it with premature or full term baby clothes and nappies because with Henry some clothes didn’t even get worn, and same for the nappies. I found at one point I was clearing out his draws quite a lot, every week, because their growth spurts can be every week or more. You can usually tell if they are having a growth spurt because they can become extra hungry, so feed more and doing new things which you may not have seen before and have more dirty nappies. the more they grow, eat and drink the more waste can come out of their bodies. BELIEVE ME!
• Always have a thermometer to check their temperature and you can get ones which measure both baby and their room, as sometimes you can’t always tell if they have a temperature and I didn’t know this until it happened and speaking with another mum who’s son was also born premature at the same time as Henry and were in the same ward, and hospital is that they are prone to getting chest infections when born premature. Not sure why, it didn’t seem as if the doctor knew why, but from his knowledge and expertise discovered this to be the case. A cold can often lead to a nasty chesty cough, which can lead to a chest infection, and Henry was given antibiotics and an inhaler with a mask that you put over their mouth and nose because they at an early age unable to inhale on their own and independently as of yet.
• They can put anything into their mouths up to in our case 6 years old, especially if like Henry they have development delay and still use their mouth as a sensor to test and get to know different things they handle.
• Same goes for chewing, Henry keeps chewing his clothes and you just have to be persistent to let them know that this has to stop now but to use their hands and talk. If they are chewing something say “We don’t chew that, we do this” and show them.
• Children usually learn through pictures, sounds and actions, rather than by words, and if you can make learning fun rather than structured you can get better results sometimes, again depends on the child.
• Don’t trust all bottles and teats as some babies can often take to different ones. We wasted money one brand and was advised to use another because our son didn’t take to the teat. If your child does struggle drinking from a bottle do seek support as in our case they advised us of the best one to use, which was an Avent bottle Variable flow teat.
• Premature babies can have more have difficulty at times to latch onto the breast. Please do not be put off or disheartened as all babies are different, and some take to the breast rather than the bottle, so just try what is best at the end of the day for you and your baby.
• The neonatal ward will often sterilize your bottles and teats for you, you may just have to provide the bottles and nappies, etc.
• They may have some clothes to hand in the ward, but do help them by having your own aswell.
• Babies often like to be swaddled as it gives the feeling of being held still and can feel restless if their arms are constantly free, and if you are not sure how to do this get the neonatal staff to show you.We had a swaddle blanket which was very kindly bought for us by family, can’t remember who and came in handy. Check out this Swaddle Blanket on Very for an example: https://www.very.co.uk/  Check out this video below of how to Swaddle a baby in a blanket: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ikBYRi5f32g
• Henry would become wide awake and stare at lights when he was first born, as often they are attracted by lights. Everything to them is new so let their eyes explore and do talk to them as you’ll be surprised as to what they take in.
• Some babies and going on Henry when he was first born, loved being winded and it was how we first bonded as mother and son. He found it comforting and would, you may not believe me but it’s true, move his head forward to be winded and this was whilst he was still in hospital. You will be surprised as to how they communicate to you so small, but they do TRUST ME ON THAT ONE!
• The dream feed doesn’t always work, because babies can often sense when they are back in their crib or cot and come alive at midnight. My advise use calm music and do tell them quietly that you are going to return them to their cot during their feed, and try not to talk then on as this can cause them to become alert. Keep voice low and calm, and as you would before their midnight feed create a ritual so they start to know by music, lighting and quietness that bedtime is coming up again.
• Indications like certain songs, even bubbles and lighting can help children learn what is coming up next and really helps with different transitions, as no one likes being landed in the deep end without a warning and babies are the same, they like being given a sign and indication, and it helps them learn about when its morning, lunch time and evening. THE MORE INDICATIONS YOU USE THE BETTER THEIR UNDERSTANDING IN MY BOOK!

I hope this has covered everything and if you are due to having a baby then congratulations, and from my own experience try to keep yourself relaxed and calm as possible. If something makes you fearful about having your baby or lowers your mood, turn it off and just prepare yourself, but practice self care as much as you can, as you do need to put yourself first and others second when pregnant, more often than not.

Please do not feel I am contradicting myself by giving the advice above, I just wanted to tell you because there are many things I didn’t know, which you don’t get told, which I wished I had so I could prepare and have items like Piles cream, coldsore cream, what not to buy and be aware of how to deal with such things should they have occurred. Little details make a difference aswell as the bigger details.

If you are reading this and had a baby and have other tips and advice for new mums please share. You can leave a comment below.

You can keep up to date on all my blogs on this site by following me on WordPress.com and I also write on these sites too:

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Many thanks for reading,

 

Carrie X

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Arranging a birthday party/Never try to please everyone its truly impossible

Picture of where Henry (my son) had his birthday party this year . Was at the Leatherhead Gymnaisum.

 

Have you ever arranged a birthday party for 30 or so children and got to the point where you wish the ground could swallow you up?

Don’t feel bad if you have because trust me you are not alone. Today it was my son’s birthday party, which we held at the gymnasium in Leatherhead and as much as all the kids loved it including Henry as he cried when he got home because he didn’t want it to be over, I am glad it is.

Tip 1# If you do choose this venue for a birthday party or any place that has a coffee and tea machine provided make sure they can provide milk for it, we didn’t realise they didn’t and they hadn’t mentioned it when it was booked, or when we went to see the venue before the party so we could get an idea of the setting, which should have been done. 

At the end of the day you are paying a lot of money so if you see they have such a machine do ask about milk and why they don’t provide it especially when guests arrive and they have to pay for it. 

Please don’t misunderstand me, it was good to see the mums from Henry’s school, family and a friend who we know outside school, whilst the kids played but I was very happy when it was all over and done.

When it comes to arranging a birthday party:

• I would save as much as you can from the day after the party or from their birthday to the next year. I am so glad I set aside some money for it, because it really did help matters. I will admit we did have help with financing the birthday party, because we in no means would have been able to do it, if not, but I am still glad I set some money aside that would help us too. This will continue on for next year. 
• Have an idea a year ahead of what you plan to do even if nothing is booked, but don’t be set upon it as children’s likes and dislikes of things can change. Example: They may like Peppa Pig now, but this can soon change, so just have an idea, but try and keep note by observing your child every now and again, to see what they really are into, as often we can lose track.
• Do have a budget and create a spreadsheet, a diary or a log book of who is coming, what you will need and how much everything will cost. You do not need to spend the earth on items. Invitations you can make your own, if you have a computer and a printer then away you go. Other option make them and get your kids involved. I got all our items from Sainsbury’s, Poundland and ASDA.
• Shop around and do some research before buying. If I can buy and save at the same time I do.
• When selecting the venue find out about parking, what public transport there is and take note of the address so you can inform your guests, and check out the venue first before decorating so you have an idea of the space and area you will have.
• Anything that can save you time as there are other things to need to worry about other than making sure every kid has a balloon for example and delegate if you can. Never try to do it all yourself because lets face it we are only one person. You will find that many parents will help out on the day too and if they offer and there is stuff to be done TAKE THEM UP ON IT AS THEY MAY NOT OFFER AGAIN!
• Anything that yo can do ahead of time do it. Trust me it will be a god send in the end.
• Plan your outfit and I made this mistake but will learn next time, which will be in a couple of years, because I am not giving Henry a birthday party every year, as I do think its important to do different things, and it is expensive to do it every year, but paint my nails a day or two ahead. I wasted so much time painting my nails, because they smudged and I got nail varnish on another finger as I was trying to put the lid back on the nail polish, that in the end I gave up.
• Never try to please everyone as it is just truly impossible. There was a person moaning during the party, not naming names and I just thought to myself “Just ignore” at the end of the day you aren’t there to make everyone happy but be accommodating yes because there will be those who can’t eat certain food or drink that is okay, but you can’t give everyone what they want because it just not possible, especially when you are on a tight budget. If you have a sulky child or a moany person then just let them get on with it.
• Do your best and be there to greet your guests, and give instructions when they arrive of what to do, where to go and what will be happening. This helps you and them, so there are less surprises than need be.
• If you do have items not used such as food, then why not give it to guests to take home and like we did this evening used some of the leftovers for our dinner in the evening. THE MORE YOU SAVE THE LESS YOU WASTE!

So I really hope if you have a birthday party coming up that you find this information helpful and if you need to take a few moments to have a breather and just adjust yourself, have a glass of wine to relax then take it, because lets face it, children can be challenging and managing 30 of them can make you just what go “NNOOO”. Anyway time for me to chill out and have some time to rest and recuperate as its another birthday party tomorrow, but thankfully not my child again. It’s nice when it is someone else’s turn.

If you have any good tips of arranging a kids birthday party then I would love to hear from you. You can leave a comment below.

You can keep up to date with all my blogs on this site by following on WordPress.com and I also write on these sites too:

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https://everyonecanbuildacastle.com/

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https://theparentingadventuresthebirthofmyson.wordpress.com

https://sportsandfitnesspassion.wordpress.com/

Have a fantastic evening and weekend.

Many thanks for reading,

 

Carrie X

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Handling half term blues/time for spooks today

For some schools it was half term in the UK last week, but this week my son has been on half term, and it’s not quite gone to plan. Monday I took Henry to a park in Putney near the river thames, and because I forgot his ball which I remembered once we got there he was completely miserable for most of the day.

I tried to explain that I had forgotten it but there are swings in the park and we can sit by the river to watch some boats, seagulls, planes fly over, trains, buses and may see a few helicopters, which my son is obsessed with at the moment, however he was still fixated about his ball.

He did cheer up in the end once he had a complete meltdown, and I felt like a complete failure. I did think about his ball, but in the end because I wanted to get there early so not to be back home too late, didn’t think about the ball until we got the park.

Kids can get obsessed with items its part of how they built their likes and dislikes, and so the next day I did bring his ball, as we went to Wimbledon Park and he was my friend again.

To handle half time blues:

• I have got down to his level and talked it through with him and got him to focus on the other things he loved and in the end on Monday, we did have a good time sitting by the river watching the world go by. If you do feel yourself wanting to scream, what I did is let it out quietly so I did weep a little, whilst trying not to see my son see my cry and then brushed myself off and concentrated on the time we had together.
• Count 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 which is the Mel Robbins technique, which I share a lot about on my other blog site Everyone Can Built A Castle, or count to 10 in your head if this counts
• If you are with someone else, take a few seconds out. Putting children in timeout hasn’t always work but getting yourself out of the situation for a few seconds can help wonders

On Tuesday after we had been to Wimbledon Park, I surprised him by meeting Nanny (my mum) for lunch up London. Result! Not gloating, but that’s how you feel when things do go to plan. He did still kick off a little because the one thing Henry struggles with but can do with persistence, is waiting, but once he saw nanny he was all smiles again.

If your son has ADHD and struggles to wait try:

• Getting them to focus on something. Reading the book The Baby Whisper, hits the nail on the hand with this one, and is useful because it can work, depending on the child. What I did was say to Henry “See if you can spot someone we know” and he did.
• If you are waiting for a train or bus, get them to see how many different numbers they can guess of the buses, which was one thing we did on Monday, which worked, and this helps them wait for when its time to get on their bus or train.

The one thing they said at school is that he won’t sit down for very long, but on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday, he has. It is often is dependent on what it is, because he sat there lovely yesterday especially watching the birds and the ducks, so if there is something that gets their concentration, then use it.

Yesterday we were out for most of the day. I took him to Battersea Park, where there is a pond, an area to play football which we did and played the crossbar challenge, sat and had our sandwiches that I took with us, and some snacks and then watched the birds by the pond and then walked along the river up to Fulham Broadway. We did have to stop a few times as children do get tired quite quickly but we still did it, and Henry loved walking along the river, going over the bridge and then he got to go passed Chelsea Football club, which I wanted him to see. I wanted to show him a big football stadium, I would love to take him to a match at Stamford Bridge, but just walking passed seeing his face light up I could still he got something out of it.

Henry still had a few meltdowns throughout the day yesterday, because he finds it hard to change from doing one thing to another, but once I showed him that we are going there and perhaps I should print off pictures and map to show him next time to see if this will help, he was fine and as said in the end stopped getting frustrated which is a lot to do with it and didn’t want to go home.

Today he had a bit of meltdown too because we are stopping in for part of the day, but I have an eye screening appointment at my local hospital and then later (my husband and I) are going to take him over to Wimbledon to get his feet measured in Clarks, a great place to get kids shoes, to possibly get Henry some new trainers.

Quick tip# If children start to trip over a lot with their shoes, it is a possible sign that their shoes need changing and their feet are starting to grow out of them.

In any case he really did kick off and I felt myself heat up, so sat down in the Living room and then took a deep breath went back to him and calmly explain things to him trying to use simple words and to see that today we have to do other things but tomorrow we can do a park and walk by the river again.

He did calm down. I am finding talking it out with my son to be a lot more effective then raging which can be tempting, but I can see that this has no effect but can cause an even more a meltdown.

As it is Halloween, time for spooks today we have decorate our home for Henry and my husband too, we won’t be trickle treating but still going to have a bit of fun, going to see if I can make our dinner, burgers, Salad and chips, into something scary.

Even if your children aren’t trickle treating then it can still be a great day to dress up and have some spooking fun.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN EVERYONE!

You can keep up to date with my blogs by following me on WordPress.com and please share what you did this years half term and how you have handled the half terms blues, as a parent speaking and sharing things with other parents can really help. You can leave a comment below.

My blog sites:

https://www.carriesrealworld.com/

https://everydaylivingandlifestyle.wordpress.com/

https://theparentingadventuresthebirthofmyson.wordpress.com

https://sportsandfitnesspassion.wordpress.com/

Many thanks for reading,

 

Carrie X

P.S: I am on Pinterest and social media aswell, so please check out these pages below:

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Do What You Got To Do And Stop Feeling Guilty

Why I created this blog 

I created this blog site to share my experience and what I have learned as a new mum, and to give support as much as I can, and to keep it real.

Being a parent it is not always a “Fluffy story” we can often feel overwhelmed and it can knock-you-for-six. So when push comes to shove YOU DO WHAT YOU GOT TO DO and we can often feel guilty for that.

• For example: When we feel too tired to play with your child who really wants you too help them build some Lego or when we have taken their favourite toy away because they have played up, not done as they have been told.

We as adults need respect from our kids and so when they misbehave it is good to make them understand that how they are behaving is wrong. 

We will get tired, it doesn’t have go be “Play time” all the time. 

 

Taking time out for ourselves and doing other things

Teaching children that you need time to  yourself and wanting to do other things, let’s them understand about giving people their own personal space and that its not “play time all the time”. Having quiet time, doing chores and errands, which I do schedule in my Google Calendar and I would recommend you do to, is just as important as having “play time”.

Scheduling your “quiet time” or “free time” to yourself just helps remind you and them that it is time to stop and do something else. We need to take time off the computer, from cleaning and running errands. For me, and I understand that it isn’t the same for everyone, but I find it helpful. Henry and my husband and I work better when we have a routine to our day.

You have to be able to recuperate and allow yourself some free time, how else are you supposed to recharge your batteries?

 

Why should we feel guilty?

That is a question I have often asked myself. There is no need. As parents we are learning too and we will get things wrong, it’s how we learn, all of us and no one is perfect.

When it comes to telling our children off, it is because we want them to be respectful to others. When people behave badly it doesn’t help them, because people will tend to stay away. It can effect them if they don’t learn to behave as kids to behave well for when they get older.

We want to install values, that is how they learn to be good and not bad

So telling your child “That is wrong, we say nice words not bad” that is okay.

It is important they learn what is right and wrong. We want them to be okay socially and interact well with others, that  is what how learn to build good relationships.

 

Having incentives and rewards

I have watched many a program where they have discussed about giving kids a reward and I feel from learning myself that this really does help our children. It helps them to understand that we often even as adults have to earn what we want in our lives.

Again, “why should we feel guilty about this?”. Constant judging I find a lot of the time and we are DOING WHAT WE GOT TO DO.

How can giving a reward to a child for doing a good thing, be a bad thing. 

For Henry this is really helping and it can be something really simple like:

• A sticker chart for good behaviour
• Chore chart as learning to make the bed for example helps teach them to look after their things and keep areas tidy and clean
• Extra play time activity
• A favourite snack of their choice

 

We are only human

That is exactly that. “We are only human” and we aren’t put on this earth to feel bad, but often as parents we do. We beat ourselves up, and become critical of ourselves and why?

There is no need to.

We are who we are.

Yes it is important to set a good example, but we also want our children as I have talked about in previous blogs, to express themselves, and to do that we should be able to express ourselves too. We want our kids to be themselves and so should we. We need to stop feeling bad or critical, because we feel due to comparing ourselves to the “So called perfect parent” that we aren’t doing a good job.

Let me tell you, you are and be kind to yourself. You are doing a fantastic job and its okay to say “Not now but we will do that later or tomorrow”.

Thank you to those who have followed my blog so far and if you would like to be kept up to date with my blog posts then you can do so by following me on WordPress.com. If you have tips or tricks of your own about parenting and you wish to share these on my site then you can do so by leaving a comment below:

If you didn’t read my previous blog then please check this out:

Effective communication/Getting kids to make decisions.

 

There is another great blog writer on WordPress.com who also shares and writes blogs about Motherhood and Parenting and that is:

https://thecoffeemamma.wordpress.com/

 

I also write other blogs on these sites aswell:

https://theparentingadventuresthebirthofmyson.wordpress.com

https://www.carriesrealworld.com/

https://everydaylivingandlifestyle.wordpress.com/

https://sportsandfitnesspassion.wordpress.com/

https://everyonecanbuildacastle.com/

 

I really hope you have a great evening and rest of the week

Many thanks for reading,

 

Carrie X

P.S: I am also on Pinterest and social media (see below):

 

Facebook:

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Effective Communication/Getting kids to make decisions #parentingtipsandtricks

 

 

 

 

 

Working in customer service for many years and becoming a nursery assistant it is drummed into us about #effectivecommunication and it is important because the customer isn’t able to see what I am looking at and vice versa, especially when you have to speak to customers over the telephone.

Image from: https://www.dreamstime.com/royalty-free-stock-photography-boy-thinking-smart-trying-to-make-decision-finally-getting-idea-image35873047

 

 

 

You have to be clear and precise so they can understand what I need for them to do and I at the same time need to understand what they need help and support with.

When it comes to our own children, we can often get lost in translation and have #communicationbreakdown and can lead them and us feeling frustrated.

Henry (check out my previous blog: When times are tough) has had some behaviour issues, and from speaking with his teacher on Friday as it was his parents evening for him, she thought it was because he feels a bit overwhelmed with the new structured learning that the children have to do now they are in year 1, and he was struggling with this.

In the previous year at school in Keystage 1 (early years) it was a lot of learn and play rather than sitting down doing lessons, and Henry finds it hard to sit down for a long time and has to have intervals where he does some form of physical activity so his one to one teacher, will take him outdoors or in the hall (when raining) to play ball.

This is only for a certain amount of time, but helps him with each transition and doing different activities throughout his day. We have implemented this at home too.

The areas I have been working on myself:

• Mine and my husband’s own behaviour, as this can have an effect on our son too, and so we are making sure we are more polite to each other and practice kindness and consideration. Parental relationships with each other can effect our children if not careful so it is important you build on your own relationship aswell as the relationship with your child
• Our communication, my husband and I are on the same page and we both have the same intentions, and we both follow the routine we have and support each other.
• The way we communicate with Henry, so making sure we give clear simple instructions and have him say what he would like to do and what is upsetting him. Try and avoid the word “No” and give him choices and options.
• Getting our son’s input is so important as the more involved he is the more he can become independent and make choices and decisions by himself.
• Creating fun games, and worksheets and activities for Henry to learn at home and at the same time allowing him time out to play and do other activities such as screen time, watching TV or his tablet or play ball.

Image from: https://www.amazon.com/Kunmark-Building-Screwdriver-Educational-Construction/dp/B07NZPFV9J

 

Getting behind at school and building skills 

This is not comparing my son by any means to other children, but he is behind the other children in his class and we don’t want him to feel excluded because of that, so the more we can help and support his learning through effective communication and helping him make choices, the better it will be for him so he will eventually catch up.

He does attend some of this sit down sessions in his class but not for very long because he can become disruptive.

I know this will help improve his behaviour aswell, because at the moment where he is having one to one time at school whilst the other children are sitting down and learning, it is effecting his social skills with the other children in his class, and this in turn has changed his understanding of how to respond correctly and play with other children. To help this the school has now had Henry to return back to the early years classes on some days to get that interaction still.

 

Focus on what they can do not what they can’t 

When communicating effectively, try and focus on what they can do rather than what they can’t, and say to them for example when Henry has a strop about doing his homework “You can have your ball when you’ve had your treat and done your homework”.

He can still be defiant but I see from observing him, that he will think about this, so allow time for it to sink in and then he will sit on the sofa whilst we do his homework. The treat by the way is for if his has walked nicely to and from school and behaved at school and is a snack of his choice.

 

You don’t have to shout to get your point across 

Image from: https://www.dreamstime.com/illustration/angry-mom.html

The other communication behaviour I have stopped doing now is stop shouting and it has made me aware of my own voice when telling Henry something, as when I feel I am on the verge to shout, I take a deep breath steady my voice and then continue to talk. When I have shouted all that has happened is, Henry has just laughed and not taken me seriously at all and then I have gotten into having a tantrum myself. So instead I stay calm and say this is what we have done, now we are doing this and then you can do that, and it seems to be having a more better effect.

Also when Henry has misbehaved or about to kick off, I get to his level, so crouch down and hold his arms or shoulders gently and say “Henry look at me please” and then spoken to him keeping my language simple to help control him control his behaviour and not kick off.

I will say things like:

“You must behave at school and be nice to your teachers”

“Be kind, with kind words and say please and thank you”

“Listen to the teacher and do as they say otherwise they won’t play”

“When we don’t behave it makes us sad” and show them a picture of what sad looks like (I talk more about visual communication below) and I say “When we are good it makes us all happy” and again show them what happy is by making a visual reference.

Honestly it really helps

 

Using the naughty step and time out 

The naughty step never worked for me as we didn’t really have a step to do this on, so what I did instead was use a corner of the room or take him to his bedroom and say “Now calm down and then we will talk” and when I did this, it had a better response and he would calm down and we would go over what he did, and why it was wrong and then got him to say sorry, to then continue our day without bad behaviour.

 

Releasing a child’s unused energy

My son is full of energy and watching a TV program the other night called the “Britain’s naughtiest nursery” and there was a little boy like Henry, who would lash out and what they realised, the nursery nursers watching this child was that it was due to having so much energy, he didn’t know what to do with himself. So what they did to help this, they had the dad help the mum by helping his son use up his unreleased energy by bouncing him on this big large bouncy ball, and it meant that the mum could have a break, the son got to spend some fun time with dad and allowing the dad and little boy to bond a lot more.

A lot of the time when kids lash out its their way of either getting frustrated or because they are trying to communicate to you, because they want to play more or want more interaction. Many kids have a lot of energy that they need to get rid off. So now I will get Henry to do extra activities at home to help use up his energy which in turn helps him eventually to relax and control his behaviour a lot better.

 

Love and understanding 

Showing them love and understanding rather than getting annoyed with your child can have a massive effect and really helps them to calm down and say what they need to get off their chest better. Kids get insecure and overwhelmed like we all do and need reassurance and understanding so give them that time. Plus when they do a new skill, say a new word or do something like put their plate away or said thank you, give them praise as this will help them to see what is good behaviour and what is not.

Avoid criticism and blame, as this can really effect a child’s confidence and be frightened of making mistake. They will get things wrong its part of their learning and putting them down will not help them. Build on their strength and weaknesses and remember that they won’t be good at everything, but acknowledging their efforts will help them to build further knowledge and understanding of what they can do and what they need to work on.

 

Visual Communication

Image from: https://www.google.co.uk/url?sa=i&source=images&cd=&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=2ahUKEwi5v6S1zJblAhUuyoUKHdiFC8sQjRx6BAgBEAQ&url=%2Furl%3Fsa%3Di%26source%3Dimages%26cd%3D%26ved%3D%26url%3Dhttps%253A%252F%252Fwww.pinterest.com%252Fpin%252F144607838014598972%252F%26psig%3DAOvVaw22N_6PKPGeOdgSGyV8VtOV%26ust%3D1570965422032938&psig=AOvVaw22N_6PKPGeOdgSGyV8VtOV&ust=1570965422032938

Another way to help with effective communication and decision making is by using flash cards, so they can point to the toilet sign for example if they need the loo, or they feel sad or happy.

These are also good for you too to show them that you are happy or sad. A great way to see that when they are good it makes us all happy and when we are bad, it makes us sad.

These are good, which I am going to use more of aswell for showing them what they just did, what they are going to do now and what they will be doing next, because often enough a child wants to focus on one thing, but by doing this, this will help them prepare for each step and will get them to transition from one activity to another or go from one place to another.

 

Listening to our children 

Always listen and don’t interrupt them. Their language may not be clear as of yet but it is important that you listen, because this can lead to a child getting frustrated and have a tantrum, when all they want is to talk to you, even if it is gibberish at first, it’s still language. Repeat back what you think they have said, example “So you want to have this” and show them so they can tell you “Yes” or “No” and if they didn’t get it right first off, teach them word by word of how to say what they want to say instead of cutting them off.

 

Keeping language in simple terms 

When I was a football coach, which now was many moons ago, the amount of times I would witness parents especially, now not being sexist but true, dads, talking to their children in football talk was unbelievable and the child ended up being more confused than they were before.

My advice, avoid this like the plague, as all it does is confuse the hell out of them, especially at the age between 6-7 when all they want to do is play football and that’s it.

You can use simple words like e.g:

“When we pass a ball we kick it like this” and show them

“Always share the ball, like this” and do. If you start hogging the ball doing kick ups showing off, so will they.

 

Kids copy what we do so be aware

This can have good and bad consequences, as they pick up on good behaviour from us and characteristics and reactions, but they can also pick up on our bad habits and behaviours too.

Kids copy and is another way of how they learn, so do be aware of this when carrying out effective communication and when it comes to making choices.

I really hope this has given you some tips and tricks and I please let me know of good effective communication techniques and how you have gotten your kids to make decisions. I would love to hear. You can leave a comment below.

I have come across a couple of good websites and a blog post which is related to my topic of #effectivecommunication and getting kids to make decisions, see below:

• https://raisingchildren.net.au/toddlers/connecting-communicating/communicating/communicating-well-with-children
• https://sexychicbrunette.com/f/stop-being-an-%E2%80%9Cugly-mom%E2%80%9D
• https://www.peacefulparent.com/

 

You can keep up to date with all my blog posts on this site and my others by clicking the “Follow” button below.

The other sites I write blogs on are:

https://theparentingadventuresthebirthofmyson.wordpress.com

https://www.carriesrealworld.com/

https://everydaylivingandlifestyle.wordpress.com/

https://sportsandfitnesspassion.wordpress.com/

https://everyonecanbuildacastle.com/

Many thanks for reading,

 

Carrie X

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When times are tough

In the past week I am not going to pretend that parenting my son has been wonderful and hunky dory, I have found parenting quite tough, due to Henry purposely bedwetting, not wanting to go to bed during the night and getting into ours and having constant tantrums and strops.

We have told him he can get into our bed wants he learns to consistently keep the bed dry. This is starting to help with this situation, we think anyway.

 

I felt really down on some days, to the point I felt like there was no way out. I know this is just a phase and I keep reminding myself of this, but at times I do feel like there is no resolution.

When times are tough I do want to hide away and hibernate until it is all resolved. However I know this isn’t the answer.

There is always resolution. I want my son to be able to express himself so I don’t want him to feel he can’t talk to me or tell me he is not happy about something.

Check out this article about children’s communication needs:

https://www.norfolk.gov.uk/children-and-families/send-local-offer/health/health-services-in-norfolk/speech-and-language/childrens-speech-language-and-communication-needs

 

The more open I think children are the more we as parents can help them in situations and so the one thing I do try to avoid is to shut him down completely but advise him that talking in a angry manner isn’t the way, and I try to go through with him what he is not happy about, when it isn’t clear.

Henry has development delay and we also found out during the summer holidays that he has ADHD, and there is a possibility not sure as of yet as it is still being looked into by the doctor at our local hospital, slight Autism aswell.

These are obstacles, because Henry is still learning to communicate, he now gets speech therapy on a Monday at school, to help him because this is one of the areas he is delayed on. His communication and words are getting better but still limited going on his age. Check out my blog I wrote about him on my other site I share with this site:

https://theparentingadventures.wordpress.com/

Going on my son’s behaviour a lot of it is because he can’t get what he wants or he doesn’t want to do something. Example after school the one thing we have set into place is he must do his homework. This after he has had his treat, which is given to him if he has behaved at school and the teacher who looks after Henry on the day will report this to me with feedback of his day and if he has walked nicely to and from school.

Of course like we all do, after a day of being busy learning, playing and being active, we don’t always want to do homework, but of course it has to be done and so we have made it into a routine for him, so he knows before he can continue to play, relax, watch TV or play out in the garden for example he has to do his homework, and boy can he kick off.

Check out my blog about Getting back into a school routine.

Nevertheless I say “Okay, I know your tired, this is what we are going to do, and once we are done you can choose whatever you would like to do afterwards” Within reason of course. This usually works, he may still protest a little, but once he sees that there will be silence in the room until he has completed his homework and from experience it is best to do homework in my book without distractions, he will usually gets it done.

The one thing I have now put into place is a reward system, whereby when Henry has kept the bed dry, behaved at school, walked nicely to school and back, brushed his teeth without fuss and done his homework, we tick this off and he gets rewarded with a sticker, then once the chart is fully completed we count how may ticks he got that week and if he completed all five on any of the days he gets two stickers and then once completed for that week he gets a bigger reward of his choice.

So far it is really helping matters. The one below is from Poundland but you can make your own. When making one why not get them involved.

I do use bribery too, but this is beginning to wear thin. I know many may not agree with bribery but as a parent you do what you gotta do.

I have written a blog a while ago about Dealing with Bad behaviour and this gives more tips and ideas of how to help when your child is misbehaving and advice on Preventing meltdown and tantrums.

I really hope this has in some way has helped you When times are tough and remember you can get through it, and it will pass. Children will continue to grow and so do we as parents. It is a tricky business at times, but then my son will do something that has me in hysterics and reminds me why, even though he does drive me mad at times, why I love him so much.

To help you as a parent gain sanity when times are tough is to take some time out and if you need to spend a few moments in another room, then do so.

Whenever I have problems that can effect my mood, my feelings and emotions the one thing I practice a lot is mindfulness. Check out my website below where I talk about this technique a lot.

https://everyonecanbuildacastle.com/

Another way to go deal when times are tough is to keep a journal. This may sound Cliche, but it really does help reflect on your emotions and gain perspective. It can help identify why your child is behaving in a certain way that is effecting their wellbeing and yours, which can then create bad habits and journalling can help you get to grips with it.

I wrote a blog about The Art Keeping a Journal and why I have always followed this method to help whenever I feel happy or down.

Do a Bullet Journal if it helps and list all the emotions and feelings and the behaviours and issues you are having with your child or children.

Please check out this ladies blog about 3 Unexpected Benefits of Keeping a Bullet Journal

Do what you feel will help you and your child, as only you know your children

Please, if you missed my last blog about Celebrating birthdays, then please go ahead and read this now.

If you would like to be kept up to date with my blogs on this site, then you can do so by following me on WordPress.com. If you do have had tough times then please share or get into contact with me if there is a topic you would like me to write about that I haven’t covered in terms of parenting. You can leave a comment below.

I do have other blog sites see below:

https://www.carriesrealworld.com/

https://everydaylivingandlifestyle.wordpress.com/

https://sportsandfitnesspassion.wordpress.com/

Many thanks for reading,

 

Carrie X

P.S: I also share my blogs and my world through Pinterest and social media (see below):

 

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Celebrating birthdays

Celebrating birthdays to me is very important as a parent and for your children, as it is marking their birth and how old they are, and the same goes when celebrating family and friends birthdays.

Today it is my birthday and my husband got a card from Henry, and even got Henry to wish me a happy birthday. I will do the same for my husband on his birthday. When it comes to our birthday’s we always make sure Henry (our son) is involved as much as possible.

You don’t have to go over the top just teaching them to acknowledge it really helps them become aware of special dates and to help see that birthdays are fun, and great way to socialise with people and as my son loves cake, he gets to eat some.

Why not have your child make a card for somebody, I like making cards and have often got out my craft items out to get Henry into making cards. He hasn’t really gotten the concept yet, but it is great way for them to be included and making a card can really help add to that personal touch.

This year for Henry’s birthday we are doing a Gym thing, and have invited his school friends, and Henry has been invited to other birthday parties too. It really helps with interaction and helps them get to know their friends even more.

Get your child involved in buying a present, and have them choose items. Again this helps with their decision making or have them make a present.

Here is a video of 22 Easy DIY Gifts Your Parents will adore:

Here are some other great gifts you can make with your kids aswell. See link below:

https://www.activityvillage.co.uk/gifts-kids-can-make

The tradition when we have a family birthday is for the child mainly to open up some of their presents with the people they are spending their birthday with, whether it be a family gathering or a party, and it is a great way for the children to be happy to see the child who’s birthday it is see their presents they bought for them, and for the birthday boy or girl to say thank you to the children who have bought them presents.

When it comes to making the cake again why not get your children involved, not just licking the spoon once the cake is in the oven. Get them to help with the decorating, and have some fun.

So to all the parents, grandparents, Aunties and Uncles and children who are celebrating their birthday too, I wish you have Very Happy Birthday, and Bestwishes.

Please see my previous blog I wrote on this site called Teaching kids about the weather and different seasons. 

You can keep up to date with my blogs on this site by following me on WordPress.com, please click below. I would love to hear how you have been celebrating your birthdays and theirs? What gifts have you made? Do you have any birthday celebrating ideas?

Please leave a comment below. I share this blog with my other site:

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I have written a new post on this site about Henry is now in year one. 

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I wish you a very happy weekend. 

Many thanks for reading, 

 

Carrie X

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Teaching kids about the weather and the different seasons

Teaching our kids about the weather and the different seasons is pretty fun, and I try and do this most days to help Henry get to know the different changes to the weather, so he knows when it is raining or becomes a little chilly that we must wear a jumper and a coat to protect ourselves from getting wet and cold, and when it sunny to put on sun cream and no need for a coat or jumper.

To help my son I created from looking on Google Images, a weather chart and a seasonal chart, and I have even as requested by his school as part of his homework, bought Henry a Diary, to use this a Weather Diary.

The next chart I am going to make is about a chart about the yearly holidays to help him get to know these too.

Please visit my Printables page on Carriesrealworld site, if you would like to download the charts I have made, which are free to print off. You will need Microsoft Publisher to do this.

Henry Weather chart

Here is Henry’s weather chart above, which is pretty easy to make, I just used plain white card or you can use paper, got the images from clipart and google images, created the charts on Microsoft Publisher I have version 2017, Eliminated the paper using my laminator and laminator Paper, Velcro stickers, purchased from Rymans. You can get a box of Velcro stickers for about £4.99, and some scissors to cut out the images.

I also created Henry a Seasonal chart to help him identify that this season is Autumn, next its Winter, then spring and then summer again.

Henry’s Seasonal Chart

I think it important for our kids to know about the seasons, so again they learn what to wear during the colder seasons and what to wear and put on when it is warmer.

As part of Henry’s homework, we are gonna take Henry out to the Common to pick up concores, pine cones and leaves, to help see the different colours of the leaves as it gets colder, the different birds that come out and objects that are created during the different seasons.

Learning should be made fun, as it helps stop you from getting frustrated and from your children from becoming bored as learning from experience, some children’s attention span isn’t always that long, and so making it as interesting and fun as possible is the key.

Henry’s weather Diary

So lets get our kids learning and help build up their knowledge and experiences.

Please remember you can keep up to date with my blogs by following me on WordPress.com and if you too have made charts for your kids or have another way of which your kids learn, I would love to hear from you, as it is always good to share. Please leave a comment below.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

Getting back into a school routine

After the school holidays of six week of should I say bliss or at least no rushing around.

I would say lie-ins, but since becoming a parent I have discovered that because my son wakes up so early there really is no such thing anymore.

However there is no rushing around like there is on a school day, and the routine can often be lost as you are more concerned in making sure you make the most of the school holidays and take a good well earned break from the norm of a school day.

“So how do you get back into a routine?”

We began to recreate the routine for Henry a week or so before the school returned, by making sure that the first thing he has is his breakfast, without any distractions, we get him dressed by half past seven, brush his teeth at about quarter to eight and between 7:45-8am get his shoes on and then get him ready to leave at about twelve minutes passed.

Once he has eaten his breakfast then he can play, watching a bit of TV or watch his tablet.

The other thing we did during the six weeks holiday, as he was due to move up a class and finds change often quite overwhelming, prepared him for the year ahead. Our sons school kindly created a little book going through the changes that will be happening in the year head, by showing who will be his new teacher, the one to one teachers who will be looking after him, his classroom, where he will be playing outside and where the toilets are etc. This has really helped.

The Book his teachers made for him to help get him ready for the new year ahead

The other thing we have done to prepare him for the school year ahead is getting him more familiar with the roads and knowing when to cross when to stop and to keep watching at all times for his safety as last year he wore reins to school as he did have the tendency to run off, but this year we didn’t want to use the reins and have him walk to school without them, and I got to say this has really worked.

I really thought he would kick off on the first day, being that he will be heading into a new entrance and new classroom, but so far not a murmur, and when he has completed his day without a fuss we give a little reward afterwards.

In his first week we then began to reintroduce him back into doing his homework after he has had his treat, again with no distractions and the homework includes doing a bit of writing or reading his book.

His homework books

Henry’s current reading book from school

I also made sure that we took him in his PE kit on Monday too. If you find it hard to get into the routine to start off with introducing the routine in gradually.

The other thing I would suggest is if your child’s school do Meet and Greet session where they tell you more about what is happening in your child’s school year then go, because this will help prepare you and and your child too, and with Henry’s one we got to see inside their classroom, so you get an idea of where they will be learning and what activities they will be doing.

Remember you can keep up to date with my blogs by following me on WordPress.com and if there is a topic you would like me to cover regarding parenting and I would love to hear of your getting back to school routine is, by commenting below.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

Six weeks of fun

It has been six weeks of fun, yes there have also been times where I have wanted to pull my hair out, but it still has been fun.

This year because we have been on a tight budget we have gone to parks and National Trust parks, which you do have to pay to get in, but it is a good price for what you get, and great places to have a picnic and explore.

There is a lovely little park near Motspur Park where there is a softplay cafe, paddling pool, climbing frame, swings and a basketball court.

Frenchan Park summer 2019

We also took Henry to Haven in Combe, which was huge, and not far from the Hastings, which we also spent sometime walking along the seafront, went on some rides and had some lunch.

The Holiday camp was huge, it was a Caravan Park, with a clubhouse, arcade, pub/restaurant, shop, playgrounds and indoor and outdoor pool.

Haven Combe Summer holidays 2019

Another great place we took Henry was to Bocketts Farm, which is not far from Leatherhead. Really great if you have a variety of children on different ages. They have indoor and outdoor play areas, lots of animals who you can touch, hold and feed, plus a cafe and picnic areas so you can have a spot of lunch too.

Bocketts Farm Summer holidays 2019

We also my husband and I took Henry to watch the local football team, Leatherhead FC. So if your children are into sport why not take them to their local football club to watch a game, even if it is lower league. With Leatherhead FC children under 8 go in for free.

So it is back to school and time to begin a new school year.

Remember if you would like to follow my blog then you can do so by clicking below and you also can contact me if you have a comment or would like to cover a topic regarding parenting by commenting below.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X