Returning to work

Looking for a new position, yes I am need of a change of career and very ready for it, and watching the One Show last night, where they were talking about mums finding it hard to return to work after having a child it inspired me to write this blog.

I have added a section about getting back work in my new up and coming book..watch this space…. in progression. 

After having a child it can be tricky subject and sometimes is a big dilemma of whether to return to work or not after having a child. In my opinion it is when you are ready and what suits your current needs. Never feel pressurized in returning to work if you don’t want to.

I decided after having my son to return to work, but to work part time. I was out of work due to being made redundant just before I found out I was pregnant, and took me ages to find another job whilst pregnant, and in the end it became too late and so I went straight on maternity leave.

I took it for grunted on how hard it would be to find another job. After I had my son and my maternity leave finished I was ready to go back, but didn’t want to miss out on my son growing up.

I wrote down what hours I was able to do and wanted to do and looked for evening and weekend work, I managed find a job working in Tescos. However it was tricky at the time with my husband doing different shifts aswell to do the evening hours so I looked for a weekend job and managed find one, working in a call centre, where I am working now.

Now my son goes to nursery I now work Fridays and Saturdays, but now looking to do more hours but in a different role, as I no longer want to do telephone work. I love writing and eventually would like this to be my full time career but until then I will need to continue to work elsewhere to help me financially for the time being.

If you are not sure and can’t make up your mind up whether to return to work then write down why you want to and what is holding you back from returning to work. Take it one step at a time.

It is up to you what you decide to do if you feel you need more time to adjust to being a parent then take that time. Becoming a parent is a massive adjustment in itself and it will change your life, you can start to see things differently including work.

I know some mums who have used the time whilst on maternity leave to learn that they want a whole different career and work path altogether, you never know to be honest until your baby arrives how you are going to feel about working and your life in general.

So take sometime to think about what you really want and if you do decide you want to go back to work then my tips are:

work out your hours you wish to work and days

find jobs based around those hours and days you wish to work

Update your C.V based on the jobs you are searching for

You can get help from the Job Centre if you need help with your C.V and if you go onto Universal Job match and Indeed.com they have daily job vacancies on their site. These are the main two job search engines I use and indeed was how I found the job at Tescos and in my current job.

Be aware when you add your C.V to websites such as Jobsite and C.V Library for example you may start  to get some agencies ringing you about vacancies. Be aware many won’t have a job available and just want you on their books.

I kept getting agencies contacting me to say they had a vacancy available only to get there and they didn’t. Plus they kept sending me to vacancies which were difficult to get to and I specified that the job had to be easy to get to by local and public transport.

To keep tabs on the jobs I applied for I bought a file box and kept my job listings I applied for in my file box.

Do your own research on the companies you apply for as it looks good when it comes to an interview that you know something about the company and it gives you an idea about the company and if they have a good working reputation or not.

What ever you decide remember it is your choice and no matter what no one else can make that decision apart from you.

Please comment if you too have advice for parents returning to work after having a child as sometimes it is good to know we have that shared support.

Many thanks for reading,

 

Carrie X

 

 

 

 

 

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Sextuplets

I thought having one child was challenging enough, but when watching this video of the Sextuplets at 30, whom were born in 1983 it made me realise I have nothing to complain about.

Here is the video about the first Sextuplet girls, the Walton’s of them turning 30.

Truly inspiring and that miracles can happen.

Coping with the heat

With the heat wave we have had in the U.K it can be tough to cope with, with our little ones, and so I wanted to share my tips with how I help my son cope with the heat.

 

Tip#1: Keep them cool at all times

When it is really hot with no breeze this can be tricky, but keeping your children cool as much as possible, and find where it is the coolest in your home or garden, have windows and doors open to let the cool air breeze through.

Invest in a fan.

Wipe them down with a damp flannel if they get too hot and only put on one layer of clothing.

 

Tip#2: Play outdoors, as it isn’t good for children to be stuck in doors all the time.

I find that my son copes better when he has some time indoors, away from the heat in a cool room with intervals of being outdoors. When he stays indoors a lot I find he can fall ill. Of course I clean my home and keep it clean, but heat when hot indoors can cause illnesses and bacteria to increase, so do allow some play time outdoors, but use sunscreen to protect their skin.

 

Tip#3: Cool warm baths always help my son cool down or have a paddling pool outside

My son has always been a hot child and so can get hot quite quickly, so it is important that I protect him from the heat as much as possible, so a warm cool bath does the trick, then just allow him to play indoors in his nappy or pull ’em up, or purchase a paddling pool, a great way to have fun in the sun as a family, making sure sunscreen is applied throughout the day.

 

Tip#4: Have plenty of liquids available to keep your children hydrated

So important, as children can become too hot and can become dehydrated so quickly so I make sure that I have plenty of liquids available, avoiding fruit juices and fizzy drinks as they can cause dehydration.

 

Tip#5: Keep cups and drinks in the fridge

Keeps them nice and cool, and have some water already chilled in their cup, so it will be nice and cold to drink, keeping them cool and hydrated.

So those are my tips for coping with the heat, please share your tips with me too be good to know how you cope with heatwaves and in the summer.

Many thanks for reading,

 

Carrie X

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Things I know now since being a parent

  1. Tiredness and sleep deprivation in parents can last until they are 3 years and older
  2. There is no one way, everyone can have a different style of parenting, who’s judging?
  3. Continues to be challenging, especially come potty training time
  4. Every minute of the day matters
  5. When you get free time to yourself, finally, you can feel lost
  6. If you suffer with Anxiety it can increase
  7. No time off really
  8. Tantrums are non avoidable at times no matter what you try to prevent and stop them
  9. Once your child begins walking you are forever running
  10. You never know what your child is going to do at times, but that’s the joy of it all

I would love to know what things you have learned to.

Many thanks for reading,

 

Carrie

Toilet training

I didn’t expect this would be easy, but you do have to take a chunk of your schedule to go through this new transition, I discovered. I have to accept that Henry will have accidents and it may take several times for my son to get used to the fact that he won’t be toileting in the nappy anymore.

 

We have had some success, 3 times so far, but now it as if he is avoiding going in the potty, but is understanding that if he needs to go, it has to be in the nappy, and so it is teaching him to communicate to us too, that he needs to go. Get used to not having a nappy on. I did introduce pants, but they lasted on him about 2 minutes, so need to continue with this one.

So on Sunday I am going try different techniques and see if we have success.

It is going to take time, but I know I just have to be persistent and start teaching him that soon there will be no nappy and will have to use the potty or toilet.

I will report back once I have learned more.

Many thanks for reading,

 

Carrie X

Sitting up at the table 

We have finally changed from Henry having separate meal time to us, to us all eating together at the table. We chose to do this for dinner time to begin with as he didn’t like eating from his high chair anymore. So we had to make some changes. 

This was so important to me that we had one meal time where we all eat as a family together. So dinner to me was the perfect time, because this was what we did my brother and I, did when our parents were together.

One meal of the day and it’s lovely time for us as a family to all have that time. 

It has made dinner time easier as Henry will a lot of the time, eat what we eat. This also has helped save money. 

The first time we decided to do this was on boat race bank holiday weekend. It didn’t workout well. He lasted two seconds but come next day, monday, breakfast time he was happily eating his breakfast at the table and then his dinner, which as a family we ate together.

Again you do have to be persistent and now come breakfast and dinner he will eat at the table no problems.

If they don’t last for long give them a time frame so allow them 2 minutes breathing space if they are really kicking off then sit them back down but don’t entertain their tantrum. It is okay for your child as a toddler to miss a meal as if hungry enough they will eat whatever is in front of them.

One top tip I have learned as a parent. 

Second tip: Be flexible, don’t be fixated on feeding on exact times all the time. Of course it depends on the child but helps to be flexible if you have a late medical appointment or club/class as children will get used to eating as usual times. 

So I will post more as we continue with eating at the table and please I would love to hear your tips too on this subject, as well 

Many thanks for reading,
Carrie x 

Potty training

Yes we are potty training at the moment, and yesterday Henry used his potty for the first time and actually had a pea.

Why am I sharing this?

Well because I know how tricky of a transition it is. One minute they are in nappies next they are having to use this plastic thing and it is a different ball game altogether.

We did have a little accident the day before, I won’t say anymore, but I had to stick Henry straight in the bath, but least it happened in the right place, the bathroom, just not in the potty itself, well some of it was but I hadn’t realised until I trod straight into it.

My fault!

As said before you can prepare yourself but you can never really plan, when it comes to children.

Sorry for the TMI. Henry will probably be totally embarrased if he reads this when he is 18 years old. However it is out of good reason to help and give support to other mums, who may also be potty training now too.

If your child is potty training at the moment too, then my advice is to persist and be patient. If they aren’t ready then do not fear, you will soon know when they are. Henry was even asking for the potty and tells us when he needs his nappy changed. So children do pick up new skills quicker than what we think they do.

So true when it comes to children, every day is different, and you don’t know what to expect, so you just have to continue on, the best you can.

Anyway I will keep you updated on more news and what I am learning as a parent.

Thanks for reading,

 

Carrie X

 

Why we do settling down time

Getting out of repetition can be so easy as you can get bored doing the same thing, evening after evening, but the one thing I have learned, is that it is important for children, to continue repetition.

It helps with keeping the routine.

Settling down time for children, really does help, when it comes to the bedtime routine, it is so they know bedtime is coming up and will be soon, and helps them to wind down beforehand.

So no playing ball after 5pm and we will have TV on but not too bright and have the lights dimmed down quite a bit. When it gets lighter late evening it can be tricky to stick with the routine but keep with it the best you can, but make bedtime later or allow them to listen to soft music coming up to bed time.

I wrote about rituals, you do whatever it takes, some time ago, when it comes to bed time. That is why making settling down into a ritual, at night time will help bed time a lot less stressful, I say with a sigh.

It can be hard when they are screaming at night because they want to be up but they have to learn that they need sleep and it is coming up to that time.

We don’t do bath every evening but you can add this to the evening ritual if this will help and making nap times earlier making sure this is before a certain time (ours is before 2pm) if we can help it.

Toddler melt down image

Our is:

  • 5pm all toys away and we will get or ask Henry to choose a book or sit with one of us on the sofa
  • Get Henry ready for bed, so put on his night gear
  • Put on pepper pig for a bit, but come an hour or so to bedtime, all devices are turned off and we will have TV on, but winding him down, watching challenge
  • 6:30pm to 7pm take henry upstairs to bed and read, sometimes I will play lullabies too, but I put it in a place where he can hear the music but not see the screen.

So what do you do to settle down your baby or toddler I would love to hear.

Many thanks for reading,

 

Carrie X

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

learning about transitions

As a mum of a three year old many transitions such potty training and then from nursery to school is a big change for everybody. We are about to start potty training.

So in the mornings when it comes to his change in the morning, I have been trying to sit him on it. This morning on the 2nd March 2017 not success but we (my hubby and I) will keep on trying.

Speaking to other mums really helps when it comes to transitions, and the one tip given to me by a nanny of many years, is not to stress over these transitions, such as potty training. If they aren’t ready for that next stage then stop but keep trying.

I always follow that motto of introducing for example solid foods to keep trying and make gradual steps . At first Henry wouldn’t drink from a cup so we continued on trying introducing different types of toddler cups until he was ready and then it was all of a sudden he began to drink from a cup.

They will make the choice, which is part of them using their own mind to make decisions.

You can buy a first training cup from boots for about £1.45 and the potty we have ready was £2.00, from Boots (see link below).

http://www.boots.com/search/toddler+cups

This is the same with diffrerent baby and toddler toys like bikes. Try them with ones that they use their legs to move the toy bike then as help push them along until they have built up their confidence to move the bike with their legs themselves.

The next stage is using a bike with pedals.

It is all about growth and learning for us as much as it is for them,  our children so not stressing but being patient, moving towards the new skill (transition) gradual is the key to helping your child grow.

I would love to hear your tips on what you have done to help your child with transitions. All information shared is welcomed. Knowing that other parents are going through the transitions too, does help and chatting about it, fears and worries helps to address them. Speak to your health visitors, I am going to chat with the doctors on Henry next visit this month and don’t forget if your child is 3 years and 4 months or near to book the next immunisations.

vector-illustration-of-cartoon-toilet-pbdfm0-clipart
Image from: http://www.clipartkid.com/images/825/vector-illustration-of-cartoon-toilet-pBDfm0-clipart.jpg

Many thanks for reading,

 

Carrie x