I often wish I could see inside my sons mind, as it would be great to understand his thoughts and fears, as it is hard to tell at times. When I was a kid I found school tough and I did feel detached from the other children and felt I didn’t fit in, and I always feared wanting to be a mum one day, that a child of mine would experience the same.
My son is a much more sociable than me, he still learning about boundaries, because he can get right into other children’s faces, but will say hello to other children without thinking about it and he loves to play and interacting with other kids, but the issue he is having at school at the moment, when he is learning he gets easily distracted by other kids in his class. He struggles with taking turns so helping to support that by stopping the play and go over this issue and remind that playing sports you have to make it fair. I wish I knew the real reason to this, but in observing I think it could because he feels failure and that only he can win, because if not, it means he is in adequate. which he is not.
When children feel separated from other children it can affect them how they get along at school and I always felt different, and doubted my ability in making friends and this has affected my worry of Henry wanting to play in other kids children games that he hasn’t met before, in case they don’t understand him and doesn’t know their games not understanding them, so feel detached.
I never want Henry to feel like that, but you can’t prevent their feelings all the time because they have their own emotions and will have challenges, that is how we all grow and learn.
Stepping back is one tip, and something I have been working on as my son’s parent so he starts to catch up on his development, and learn to form friends by continuing to not get to close to other children and learn to play nicely, and not getting upset when playing sports with other kids. It is good for kids to be competitive, but being respectful too, to the apposing team. One of my goals for Henry is to join a sport clubs, as I think this will help, but its finding a club that can cater to these needs.
Teaching them how to greet someone, because this will help them to form good relationships and it is nice to say hello to a person and asking how they are feeling, and be interested in other people thoughts and feelings.
Giving encouragement can help, which is important and say hello and goodbye nicely, but installing this he will say it without meaning so am installing it into him to say with meaning rather then just saying it for the sake of it.
Working on social behaviour leads to good habits, because being able to communicate properly will help him form friendships and not playing on his own, and other children making the effort to make a conversation. At the moment he will often ignore a child who is trying to talk to him, and personate the train voice overs on trains and not talk to the child back, and not sure how to relate to him, so working on that.
Taking them away from screens and watching their tables or iPads, when people are visiting them at home or meeting up with other children, like his cousins, and interact. If they do use their devices, then have them share and watch something together and still have that interaction, but for a short period and then encourage other engaging activities.
Practicing good manners, when it comes to having friends around for a playdate and eating together at the table, with no distractions, that can cause them to be destructive and running around rather then sitting down and eating. I worked at a nursery on Monday, and their manners were exceptional and noone kicked off but ate nicely, and that is important. It can be a great time to talk about how their day has been and no TV but focusing on eating and with family and friends, so they can eat without having a meltdown, as there is nothing worse than when kids don’t want to sit at the table to eat, or refuse to wash their hands and be clean. Every time I ask Henry to have a shower or bath, he will protest so won’t do anything else until he has been cleaned and saying thank you and please. This will encourage good communication practices in children. It all about being able to when they are older to communicate with others and get along with other people and showing respect.
I hope you don’t feel like you aren’t doing things right, because we all parent differently and I am no child specialist but a parent who has faced many challenges since becoming a mum and want to share these blogs to help, and what I have learned so far.
When Henry was a baby it took us about 5 months to find a good routine, but now he is older he lives by routine and hates change.
Get dressed together: Rather than getting one child dressed one at a time, have them all get dressed and have their older siblings help them and put some music on to create a calm atmosphere and do some activities in the morning to help boost their energy.
It is important to have breakfast and again, have all your children have breakfast together and help clean away the breakfast items and they help wash their bowls to put in the dishwasher, and ready to leave for school. Oh and make sure they have made their beds, packed their bags and have their bags together by the front door.
Have a meal together: I talk about this a lot but is important. My son when we spend the weekend together will have breakfast, lunch and dinner together because we don’t get a chance in the week and its just nice to add this in and for me it is family time.
Make sure they help once again with cleaning and drying the dishes, if you don’t have a dishwasher and have them help with tidying by making sure the items already dried and cleaned are put away. Oh and have them set the table for the meal and rotate it so they get to do different chores.
Have your kids cook a meal: last weekend my son made a vegetable soup and had some for his lunch and dinner on Monday as I travel to his dads house to wait for him to return to school, and so I make his dinner before his dad comes home and so cooking for me essential to help with their independence, you might like to read this blog too where I talk more about: Helping our kids to be healthy and independent
If they are tiny still of course this doesn’t apply to you, but tips for when they get bigger and if they show interest in food, try baby led weaning. if they are able to sit up, but if you not sure chat with your health advisor or doctor. Henry found this tricky so we just did small amount of food at first to help his body get used to food and started off with baby rice, and got into a routine of giving food at first in the morning and then slowly added more food through the day.
Laundry: When Henry has finished school I will have him take his uniform off and into some casual clothes and check it to see if they need to be washed. I am trying to teach him to fold his clothes, as he will take them off and if they are dirty I will ask him to put them into the washing machine. The next stage I want to help him with, is how to work a washing machine. That will come though, and with encourage and perseverance I know he will get it.
Teaching kids to tidy their clothes and fold them will be good for their motor skills and value their belongings and once he changes then we will play, unless he has homework, as we get this done first before we play. Oh and keep washing detergent out of reach, but helping them put it into to the washing machine ball, to put into the machine, and will help them understand what the detergent and the washing machine is for and always supervise. You may like to read this blog: Getting your kids to be more independent
Getting ready for bed: As Henry has grown he has gone to bed later, so now he will go to bed between half eight to half nine. Often he has asked if he can go to bed, as when they first begin school it can be tiring, and was hard to keep him awake and often when we would pick him up from school he would be a sleep.
So having a good bedtime routine is important for you and your children, and I will let my son wind down slowly because he has so much energy, and so once he has done his homework and changed, we play, before he has his dinner and his dad will do a bit of learning with him, like reading a book and when he stays with me, will now allow no watching his tablet after a certain time, and rest and watch some TV but he has had wash, bath or shower to relax and have quiet time. Then I will read to him and then it is bed time and I will do some writing and or watching youtube on my computer then I will read my book and then it is bedtime for me.
When a child has Autism they like to know what is going to happen and it also helps my son’s ADHD and work in blocks of time to make sure they have gotten to school on time and don’t have a meltdown. It helps them to look after themselves more because getting their bag ready is important and be a natural routine, whereby they don’t have to be told, but do it without a word being spoken.
So I hope that you have a good weekend and more blogs to come.
Today Sunday the 12th March 2023 my son, made his own and first Vegetable soup, and ate it. As a baby I would give him vegetable and fruit Purees, but as he has grown and with encouragement will eat them.
The homework for my son this weekend was to make a soup and so he chopped up the ingredients needed, helped stir and add the other ingredients, then helped blend them and chopped up the herbs, and it was really tasty. He has begun doing DT at school, and the soup was really good and didn’t make a fuss in eating it.
This inspired me to write this blog, because it was a success, when sometimes it is not.
The key thing to do is to involve in the whole process. We, my mum and I took him shopping and helped us looking for the ingredients, and then made the meal, and we had for lunch.
Kids like to be responsible, and they like it when they can be involved in doing things like cooking and baking. It helps them to understand about food and trying different things. This means even when they are fussy as children’s taste-buds change. I have been guilty of giving him easy meals like fish and chips, burger beans, but now he is learning about food and he is starting to learn what is healthy and what is not, and slowly his feelings on fruit and vegetables has changed, and he will eat them. Start with just a little bit at a time, and mix the veg a bit of potato is they like them, and just a little bit can make all the difference and their willingness when it comes to vegetables.
I do like a biscuit and so does he, but I want to slowly change that and no longer use food as a bribe it can lead to it being a normal habit which I don’t want, but I feel bad in saying no.
However I am no going to deprive him or me, but not eating things like biscuits all of the time. However with Henry enjoying his soup is a good turning point and get us both back on track when it comes to food.
Our kids being healthy is important, and the one thing I don’t ever encourage is fizzy drinks. I never used to drink these as a kid I found them to gassy, and I drink them now, but my son hasn’t and feel good in that. He will drink manly water or milk.
You don’t have to be super strict and not make dinner time a song or a dance, as we say in England, but encouragement and teaching kids about cooking is a great start in getting our kids to be a lot more healthy.
This also saves money on meals because you can save soup and freeze to having it on another day and got some for my lunch tomorrow and my son has some for his dinner tomorrow, so GET OUR KIDS COOKING. a really good skill that will last a lifetime, and help to make them independent.
What has inspired me to write this blog, was watching and listening to a podcast by Giovanna Fletcher, which is called Happy Mum Happy Baby: https://www.giovannafletcher.com/podcasts/series-eight and she asks this as one of questions, and it got me thinking. To me its the whole experience from carry a child to watching them grow into little people and building their dreams and aspirations.
I waited quite late at 35 when I became pregnant with my son and he wasn’t planned, but I have always been maternal, and knew I wanted to have kids one day. As a kid I loved looking after other children, and babysitting for friends. I didn’t mean to become pregnant at that age, but it was how it panned out and in my twenties was out with friends a lot, and for me I had to have that time before I began thinking about having a child.
So what does it mean to you…?
We need to appreciate that every parents story is different, and its finding yourself and what is important to you.
Fill in the gap and write down what it means to you.
This is not to make you feel that you’ve been doing a bad job in anyway, but bonding and building a healthy relationship and giving them support whenever they need support with to me is whats important.
It isn’t about about changing 55 nappies in one day, but what it has taught you. I have learned a lot being a mum, like what I show my son, because he will copy so I need to set a good example, like not swearing, having a tantrum of my own and having fun. Focusing on one thing at a time and respecting my son, and his needs.
I love it when my son and I go on walks and travel with each other, visiting different places and playing football or rugby.
Every mum will probably say different things and that is fine I respect all mums out there along with fathers, but as women I feel we don’t give ourselves enough credit.
For me it is little moments, like I love it when my son and I play darts because we laugh so much, because my maths is terrible, and thank to the person who created calculators, to do the scoring,but even that I get confused, but being able to laugh at our flaws being a mum, showing your kids of who you are and having boundaries, is what is top of the list when it comes to What it means to me.
We often forget our own care and that for me is top of the list too, and whenever you can have a break to having coffee or a cup of tea, take up the opportunity its not that we need to stop caring for our children, but giving us some me time, and since being a mum time as a I said before in my blog, is precious.
My son has made it clear to me that he doesn’t like me looking at my phone all of the time and be present with him, and I will take myself away from social media and give him the attention he needs.
Kids need there space and time away from us, so in holidays he will spend a couple of days at a holiday club that is local and loves being around other kids and be away from me, and my mum and step dad will look after him too, as weekends we spend in Wimbledon where they live and have some space, and see different faces and people.
So lets work together in bringing the next generation in the world, of course if you want children, and respect us as women and what being a women means.
I have written EBooks on parenting on Amazon.co.uk and I write under the names of Carrie Challoner, Carrie Lee Holmes and Carrie Holmes.
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Before I begin I would like to say a big thank you for those who have read my blogs, and liking my content and following me. If this is the first visit of my blog then welcome. I talk about different topics that you never get told and that I have learned since being a parent. I have a 9 year old son Henry and he lives with his dad and me. His dad’s home is in Surrey and I live in South West London.
I also write books, and written books on parenting, so if you’d like to check them out then you can on Amazon.co.uk and I write under the names Carrie Challoner, Carrie Lee Holmes and Carrie Holmes.
I will be updating this book as when I wrote the book I had baby brain and so some of the dates regarding his birth needs changing, but it like a fly on the wall book where I write like in diary form and so I hope you like it. Its available on Kindle.
In this blog I am talking about Building your children’s personal development. It is so important for our kids to be independent and find their way into the world, and will need many skills to learn that will help their future. Such as reading, writing, listening, talking and memory, getting dressed, going to the toilet and sleeping, that it can be overwhelming for you and for your kids.
So start with taking each step as they develop and if they are interested in a book, allow them to sit with the book and flip through. hardback, Fabric books are good for their senses. It would be books like “That’s no mine…”, as they have pictures with different textures of fabric inside, and pop up books that will make them laugh and you want to build their interaction so its good not just reading, but talking about each book they love, as their awareness develops.
Today my son read the first chapter of Horrid Henry and Partly of Billy Goats Gruff. He has develop delay but he can read really well, its just that he doesn’t always show what he can do and that makes it hard when it comes to school because at the moment the books he is reading at school aren’t challenging enough. Kids, like my son tends to hide a lot of what skills they have, so the learning they do at home, will help them when they go to school, because they will perform more at home sometimes compared to school.
Logging their learning into their school diary of what they have done at home, can help the teachers see that he can read a entire paragraph that he won’t show at school. I know many will say, what about home learning full time, but because he is on the Autism Spectrum he needs that social part of school, and he loves being with other kids.
He enjoys school its just he will hold back a lot and so what you can do at home can make a difference, even if it is 10 minutes of the day.
The same with writing. They will build these skills as they read, and using activity books from stores like Whsmiths can be good to start with along with drawing and helping them make associations with words and writing them down.
Fitting in this has been tricky, so want to do more and can write numbers now and small words, and doing a bit each week or day, is good to help them. Henry is often a bit reluctant to write, but we just do a bit for ten minutes, with a reward helps him be happy about it, and that is where books comes in. It can really be a reward itself for them aswell as a bit of chocolate or a toy that the want to play with.
My youngest niece loves writing and writing stories. Not all kids want to do it, and it can be because they may be dyslexic, so something to consider, not to worry as many successful people have this difficulty like Richard Branson. With my son is because he has ADHD and loves physically learning like he loves sport and trains, and he loved buses and so I made him a book about buses and used this to encourage him to write.
This can lead to listening, and something that my son has trouble with, but is getting better, by giving him encouragement and having structure. If we are watching something we want to watch and not him, we will explain to him first, by saying “Right this programme on now, so we want to be quiet” and quiet time is a good habit especially before bed time, and this leads to an important habit and skill, sleeping.
Sleeping can be hard and I as mum has reminded as I have grown of how much I was a nightmare when it came to sleep as I have always has struggles. This stemmed from when I was a kid and we lived on the ground floor in a housing estate and kept playing visions in my mind of somebody trying to break into my room. I know my mum would be shaking her head, because since a baby before we lived on the ground floor I didn’t sleep, but was an influence I would say.
Having a bedtime routine will help and yes I know you have heard that, but my child still doesn’t sleep well, speak with your health visitor or doctor as they can help. With Henry he has always been good, until he started to grow and often will moan about going to bed now, as he loves being awake and being on the go all the time, wanting to play and watch his tablet but we now don’t have him watch it before bed as it can cause problems with sleep which I did argue against, but has made a difference and now he doesn’t always awake around 5am,. as he sleeps well but wakes up early.
When it comes with talking, my son loves to talk, but this is why he is on the Autism Spectrum because he has Social communication problems, and so will repeat the speaking on trains, example: “Mind the Gap between the train and a platform” but not engage in conversation. He is getting better and so we are trying to stop this especially if there are other children or adults trying to have a chat with him.
He is a social boy, which I know may be contradiction, but he loves other children and will say hello but won’t always engage, like other children. He will stay sentences now, not always in the right dialect, so we will correct him, not angrily or to make him feel bad, but in a way that he says the sentence in the correct dialect.
Kids learn from repetition and where reading can help, and doing speech therapy is great way to help with talking and speaking to others.
Then there is memory and that is where memory comes in. If you keep on showing how to fold a top, they will copy. The more they say sentences in the right context, the more they will continue. Henry’s memory is second to none and remembers when he hurt his head at school and that was 5 years ago, and when I moaned about Boots (a local pharmacy store in the UK) not having birthday gift cards and only had Christmas and so it is little things like that, where its like. Wow you remembered that? And he knew from as soon as he would walk where the park was.
Building memory is a simple as taking the same route to the park so they get to know where they are going and Henry liked when we would walk to school, would want to walk the same route and often I will go through the street names, to help him, and it has helped us to bond and build our relationship with each other, because kids like to be shown things like street names, and counting house numbers to identify numbers.
Henry though, won’t always show this skill, memory and say he doesn’t know but we know he does it appears that he holds his skills back. I have learned a new method to help him by saying, “Sorry can you do that again?” or Can you say that again” and will as we go through it say the answer to something or a sentence that he knows and will show he knows. He just need prompting.
This skill was watching Youtube of a couple called Phil and Alex, and they have two adopted children and a biological child. If they read this blog. Thank you.
Playing games like Dino Duo, Check that out, is a good way to help with memory and there are different games you can play with these cards. (This is not sponsored), it is a game my son and I play a lot and he beats me every time. Card games are brilliant for memory. It help with counting and remember symbols and images.
When it comes to getting dressed, I will leave the clothes out for him and he puts them up. He can do it my son, but can be lazy. They have to do it for themselves to be independent and so its taking a step back as a parent and allow them to figure it out. If my son gets stuck I will offer support but say, “Turn around the other way” for example, when my son puts on a top. He now because I reward him with a high 5 or a cuddle knows when he has put his top on, that he done a good thing.
That is a tip I’d give, celebrate and seeing it as a win
It is a accomplishment and praise goes a long way.
Then there is toilet training. This has been a challenge, and he will still leave it to the last minute and can be frustrated because he is trained he just puts play at the top of his choices but I have had to install that if he does he won’t be able to play, because if we are out means we will have to go home.
He still has struggles when it comes to using the toilet but he is getting better because he I hope this isn’t TMI, in wiping his bottom. He can do it and tries but still have difficulties, but again with all other skills encouragement goes a long way and I don’t make it a big deal its more like “Go and call me if you need help” and he does and this helps with sleep too that he is to go and not wait.
I have put together a board of some of my blogs on Pinterest and so check them out, and there are more blogs to come.
So it is the World Book Week, where our kids will be dressing up to represent characters in the books they love and for my son, his school theme was, that they had to be a word, and so my son went as sporty.
I know easy choice and not much effect but it had to be something he knows, and he loves his sport. I got him a tracksuit from Sports Direct and was last minute, as I don’t allow myself time, and each year when it comes around make an agreement that II will make it a goal to plan more far ahead, but no, like Christmas cards, yes sorry to mention this only being March, but the speed of the year it may be tomorrow before I know it, but last year gone still didn’t get round to doing any Christmas cards, and so yes was a mad rush, and he seemed to not dismiss it as when we were looking for an outfit (his dad and I) he was moaning, because we were looking for a jumper or jacket, but he hates hoods, so bought a tracksuit that had no hood and was in sale and was last resort.
My son is not keen on dressing up, when I bought him a tiger outfit a couple of years ago as he loved the book “The Tiger who came to tea” it lasted on him for about 5 minutes and when I picked him up, it was in a bag and glad we remembered to put spare clothes underneath and in his bag, and so it is tricky to find an outfit he would actually wear.
My mum when we would go to a holiday camp would enter us in, me and my brother in fancy dress competitions and my mum made my brother a Robin Hood outfit with Tissue paper, whilst my nan made mine out of trousers, and top, and put bells on the bottom as I was a belly dancer I think, and my brother won, so if you are into sewing then this is tip, but if not tissue paper can be a good option.
If it is a onesie and your child likes wearing these then you can be still worn at night time rather than a dressing gown. Today (not showing any pictures) my niece dressed up as a character for Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and it was fantastic and my sister in-law used a pair of shorts she had and a brownish tops and the make up or could have been face paint was so good. Honestly put me to shame.
Books are good for kids because it helps with communication and with writing and understanding grammar. My son still being 9 likes a book to be read to him, but not always keen to do itself, but we have him read, because he has needed help with his communication. Its not that he can’t do it, its more because he not always saying sentences in the right dialect.
So I hope your kids enjoy it and if you are teacher that you dressed up too and now it is next year. I hope I am more organized.
My son’s mixed emotions about baths has changed a lot and there was a time where he wouldn’t sit in the bath and didn’t like his dad giving him a bath only me. I remember when he kept having bad diarrhoea that I would have to hose him down and it was very traumatic and felt so guilty but at the time it was the only option and toilet roll and wipes wouldn’t cut it.
This wasn’t when he was a baby, but around about 3 to 4 years old when he could stand in the bath, but making them fun he loved them again and would ask if he could have one and he would not want to get out.
Now he is older its not about him not wanting a bath or shower, its because he wants to continue to play and do his own thing, and he loves showers and being hosed down by the shower head and yesterday he had a bath as a change, because he is having swimming lessons on Saturday’s and one of the mums, who first taught Henry to swim gave me a tip on giving him a bath to help him practicing kicking his feet. The is the thing he loves swimming because he likes to go under water and float and then do some jumps., but when it comes to bath or shower he will lay on the floor and say he hates baths and having a shower.
He prefers a wash, with a flannel and water from the sink, which I do on some occasions but I want him to be properly clean. He did in the end enjoy the bath and he practiced and kicking his feet. I know it is him standing his ground so I try not to get cross, but it can be a challenge.
Then after that we did get used to it, and did get the water right and would bath in a little bath in the living room where it was the warmest and he began to love them, and doing baby massage I would recommend a doing a class, because it helped us, he loved being bathed and being changed.
I don’t make a deep bath, but I will sit on the toilet with the toilet seat down and allow him to soak and I find it relaxing just allowing me time to just sit and be with my thoughts until he is ready to come out,and good to talk about what he did for the day. He does have a bath with his dads and protests but I know this is a phase and not going to be long term.
It is another end of a week and now I am back with my son and came up with this idea when I uploaded a new video series of Deals I have found this week, this is on my main Youtube channel that I have linked below. on the items I needed and it has made me see what I am consuming and do need to be healthier.
This made me monitor what I consume that an affect my son. I am addicted to sugar and it is beginning to bother me, and not sure where to start to change this habit. This is the same for our kids, we should be monitoring on what I kids consume on a daily basis. I don’t want my son being on his tablet all day. Instead we go on walks and play football and rugby. This evening we did some homework without any fuss and felt that was result as normally he would protest, and I felt good in myself in doing this too, as I want my son learning and can play and go to trains that he loves as long as he does some learning that is going to help him in the long run. Our days out I use to educate Henry but encourage him to tell his dad or his grandparents on what he did at the weekend in the week to help with his communication which he struggles with.
This also means TV. I don’t watch much no, but on a Friday I do like it when son cuddles up with me to watch a bit of TV and allow myself to watch some in the evening and at the weekends in the morning. It helps me to switch off from being on my laptop.
I make sure that what we watch is appropriate for his age to watch and that means on this tablet too and we don’t when together my son and I watch TV whilst we eat. we will eat in the kitchen on the Kitchen table, and then after we have eaten then we can watch some a bit of TV.
On a Saturday he goes to swimming class and then we will have lunch and visit a local park and feed the ducks and just spending quality together in places where we enjoy going and places we like to visit, helps to build our relationship and getting a good amount of exercise as we will often play rugby or football.
I monitor what we eat together as I don’t always like to eat fast food but as a treat and have good home cooked meals. It is important to me and my son to have a good diet but still allowing treats but in moderation. However I enjoy taking him out for lunch and so I subsidise for that, but not do this all of the time.
The other area is sleep, I like to make sure my son has a good amount of sleep and me too. I say this as I am up on a Friday writing this blog, but I will be in bed soon and Saturday is my night off and so spend time off my laptop, and go back to it on Sunday, once my son is back with his dad.
So, lets work together and if you have tips on Monitoring what you and your kids consume then please do. Please leave below in the comments. If you’d like to be alerted of blogs I post on this site, then remember to follow me and if you have found this blog helpful to like this post.
This week it has been half term, if you did’t know , its a yearly holiday that is a week in February. Check out latest day in a life video: https://youtu.be/Kx5LEyZCLqs
We visited a few of our favourite places and yesterday spent time with my brothers family and my son when to a holiday club called Youngstars, so he could be with other children still and because he likes interacting with other children.
I have a week to myself this first week back to school, but usually I would be planning my days to be at my son’s home where he lives with his dad to wait for him to return from school and fit in some homework, play and make his dinner.
Check out these tips to help make life easier as our kids return to school:
Tip#1: if you are two parent family then see if you can swap or have a routine like me and my son’s dad has, so he waits with my son to be picked up to go to school and I wait at his house where his dad lives, to return from school, because of the distance. We make sure hand over when my son’s dad returns home from work, before I set off to go back to where I live in Wimbledon and plan weekends for my son to stay with me and spend time together then too.
Tip#2: If you have a bath and have one or more kids still in infant school, bath them together depending on age, of course if you have teenagers probably not, but if they are infants then this saves on water costs and time.
Tip#3: Have bags labelled with their names and do a list for each child and have a changing station,and have them help each other to get dressed and to wake them up why not do some dancing. My son loved it when we would do this, and really helps their mind and ready for the day. So this not really just after half term but this can help with the half term blues.
Tip#4: Anything you can get done the night before take advantage of this and have their lunches, if they have packed lunch, ready, along with spare clothing as some children can still have accidents along with their shoes and coats.
Tip#4: Have different bag, one for half term like a beach bag and one for the return of school as like me I carry less when my son returns to school, compared to when he is on holiday and I often do this at the weekends, and have a separate list of your own for when your kids return to school.
I really hope these tips help you and remember if you want to be kept up to date with my blogs then press follow and if you like this blog, click like, so I know that these blogs have helped you and made your life easier. That is what you need as a parent.
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Yes my son is tucked up in his bed and I am up late going through my plans for the week and the first tip is:
Check the weather: This can affect your plans and so it is good to listen to the forecast so you have some idea if it worth going outdoors or not, and it also helps in knowing what to wear for the week. I am glad I have my trainers as I need them in my life., along with a scarf and coat with a hood and a good warm hat.
Check Travel: Yes if you been in the UK we have had a few train strikes, which can affect plans and I check using the Trainline App to make sure they are running. Checking will help you to know where to go or where to avoid and if you can travel by bus instead. Thankfully looks like the trains are running tomorrow as I am taking my son up to central London which he loves and walk along the river, as he is obsessed with trains and I am lucky that I live where a few trains lines travel through and will be filming for my Youtube channel (typicallondongal Carrie Holmes).
Free places to go: There are many things you can do that are free like visiting the park and tomorrow walking along he River Thames cost nothing, as I already have my Oyster card topped up to travel, and I will take a few snacks and where we are going there are places to grab something to eat, but I’d may just pick food from the shops along the way rather than going to a restaurant. The food is good along there but does get really busy, and can be expensive.
Plan the days with your kids: Have them decide where to go, but to save tantrums if you can’t fit it all in, give them options and if you don’t do it this half term, then choose it for the next set of school holidays. As much as we’d like to split ourselves apart to go everywhere, it is virtually impossible, and check out sites like Groupon, Virgin Experiences, Buygift.com as they do have some ideas of what to do, and have then choose online.
It all about having fun and avoiding tantrums if that is possible.
This week it is Children’s Mental health week, and wanted to acknowledge it because I am a mum who has had Mental Health illness and I am a mum with a son and my sons mental health is important aswell as mine and so it is good that I have a good relationship with him and if he has any worries he is able to share them with me.
We have so much fun together and I want it to be that way, and I feel good when I have made him laugh and we enjoy things like dancing, singing and playing sports together aswell as doing other things, like “Yes” homework and this doesn’t always please my son, so what I will do is pre-reward him and say, “If we just do this we can then play” and you can make homework playful, like drawing and taking pictures that they can use depending on what the homework is of course. I get a little anxious about doing his homework because I have trouble with it, so I can see why he may not want to do it, but it is essential so I will say “This what we will be doing now and then we can play but this first lets do some homework” and we figure it out together and my mum I admit will help too as like I have said I have issues understanding it, like maths and yes it is a challenge, so if I can delegate to help him then that is what I will do.
Discuss with your children and what is going on in their minds. I have found doing this is through play like with playdoe or colouring in or as soon as he comes home we will sit and talk just for a few minutes so I can see that he is okay and is happy.
Setting a good example of good relationship can have a huge impact. I would never allow him to watch anything like Jerry Springer or the Jeremy Kyle show because he can copy and didn’t want him thinking that is how you communicate, and so it is good that you have good relationship around you and if there is a disagreement isn’t in front of him.
If they have questions answer them honestly but in language they can understand and not saying anything negative about the other person. When it comes to co-parenting it is important our son (my son’s dad and I) are on the same page, and take upon ourselves to help educate our son aswell as school and help build his mind and body, like making sure that Henry becomes independent and not reliant on his dad and I. The other thing about relationships is to tell them and show them that you love them, and that he learns about personal space. The other day I get a call from my sons school to say that he had been hit by another child in class because he got too close and it’s not doing anything inappropriately he just very affectionate which a lot of children can be fearful of so we teaching him to say hello and either high 5 or shake hands. Or just say Hello and answer a person as he will go off in his own world.
It is all about learning and teaching kids be ready for the big wide world.
We are all busy creatures and have so much to do like I need to order another school jumper for my son and got errands to run and my son’s dad has booked holiday and had time for myself which I am thankful for. I feel the Separation anxiety a lot and miss him dearly so glad next week will be back to normal.
This weekend we are going to see if we can go on the Thameslink train as we watched some at Hayden Station, and so hopefully we can go up London and do what we planned to go up London. Not sure if we can because many of the trains are scheduled to go on strike, and so if the still funny on Saturday then we may not be able to, and writing the words I feel the guilt.
I want to make it happen as I love going on train journeys and getting that time with my son is so important because I want him to have a bag full of memories and have a good childhood as I did too. My mum and dad would always take us out, and I would cry when I was a kid, over the fact that the day had ended.
It can be tricky especially if you have more than one child because of dividing your time, but it still possible, by making sure that you let the kids write down what they want to do, and then it financial.
Yes I feel it, prices going up, so it means saving which not many households can do, and looking what you can do for free. If you are on Universal Credit you can get a discount on travel and this covers bus rides and the tram, so in fact in writing this may take Henry on a bus rather than a train this weekend, and make sure he has lunch before we go, so not having to buy my food out.
You can also get discount on trains to by ordering a travel card. Me and my husband did this and even when my son came into our world, and if you book in advance you can get a discount. but lets see how long these strikes go on for.
Nevertheless , it doesn’t mean you have to travel. Half term will be coming up and just a walk in the park, and soon it will be time for picnics again and BBQ’s. Of course if you are overseas then you may be able to do this all year round, and you can still go out but wrap up and still have fun. Greggs are good for low budget food and their sausage rolls are great and their coffee is good. I know many make disagree, but is just a suggestion.
Time with kids important to kids not money and so do a reading a hour where each child get choose a book for you to read or they all read themselves and do like a weekly book club. My mum came up with this kind of activity, and why not have each share what they read and Works do a real good deals when it comes to children’s books and have them choose a new one, and have your children write their own stories. I love writing stories when I was a kid and not plugging, but letting you know, that I write books and available from amazon.co.uk Here’s an example: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Having-Baby-Parenting-without-Stress-ebook
I have more, under the names Carrie Holmes, Carrie Lee Holmes and Carrie Challoner. I was testing my name because of people remembering them. I have written two novels, A lonely walk to happiness, and my new one Mum&Me. Which aren’t for children but for parents to read and I love having that time to read.
Then you can play sports outdoors and camping I miss so much and would love to do this again. I love creating great adventures because of the wonderful memories I have when me, my brother my mum and dad would take us camping, and we would go with other families and so much fun.
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I love the weekends spending time with my son because we have such fun and plan each weekend like we did whilst in the park on Sunday of what he would like to do, and so I took note and discussed about doing those things next weekend.
It is so good to do different things and this weekend, my son after he went to his Swimming lesson, did some painting of some wooden houses I bought from The Works and then on Sunday Henry went to the park on his scooter whilst I walked and got some steps in, and next week I am taking him on a train, Saturday will be spent going to a coffee shop, because he was asking if we can go to one again, and so said we’d do that on Saturday and go and watch the trains, and use his vouchers he received for his birthday.
The weekend for me is doing things that you wouldn’t do in the week like going to the park or watching the trains or playing football or rugby. We often go the local park where there is a pond and buy some duck feed in the cafe in there, where I take him on occasions to have lunch and feed the ducks.
Fresh air does wonders to your wellbeing for you and your kids. having a craft afternoon, and making the weekend full of fun even if it playing with a cardboard box, you can still make it fun, painting and help use their imagination, like building a fort. Henry was pretending to be a Police officer and arresting me, and was using the downstairs bathroom as a jail. It is good for their imaginations to do pretend play and helps take them away from their devices, as my son could spend ages watching his tablet which is not good all of the time.
The weekends is great for having a nice meal together that they don’t always get to do in the week as they are tired and just want to chill, and even if you don’t get a chance to have a meal together in the week, the weekends are the best times. As a kid we would always have a meal together, and I love a Sunday roast, such a meal that is fulfilling and often on a Sunday I would cook a casserole or a stew using the slow cooker and your kids help you is a great way tho encourage them to eat their vegetables if they don’t eat a huge amount in the week.
As a kid we would often go to my Nans at the weekends and seeing other families and all go for a meal, and in the summer time we’d go somewhere by the river where we wouldn’t always get to do especially in the week, and often my dad would take us near the river to ride our bikes and as a kid not many shops were open unlike now so you’d make the weekends different to the week and so I love the weekend and love not having to set an alarm, and watching some weekend TV that I don’t always do in the week and watch a film and making the most of this time together, so my son can have good memories of the weekends aswell.
Today it was my sons annual review that he has each year at his current school about his learning and one is social skills, and that is what inspired me now as I was in bed and so had to get up and write it.
Kids need to learn to socialise and have interaction with other children and adults. My son has ADHD and is on the Autism Spectrum in Social Communication, but he is a social boy. He will often when we are in the park want to play with other kids, but it is teaching about asking first, introducing himself and not invading another person’s space and taking turns, that for me is key and a starting point of helping with Socialising.
He does get upset about winning and sharing, and has lashed out, because of that, and it is hard not to get cross, because of it upsetting that child and the implication it has when playing with other kids and being fair. And he has begun now to when he gets upset, says “We have to make it fair” and so I say “That’s right” and so is slowly understanding.
Never avoid social interaction, because the more they do it the more they get used to it and learn to play without getting upset and frustrated. The more they interact the more they will make friends and build good relationships, and set an example too, by socialising and being kind and friendly and I will chat with a stranger at a bus stop and I haven’t always been a good friend, but I have learned from that, because I don’t want my son to be isolated, and have friends and socialise, respecting other children and adults boundaries.
Creating a good atmosphere where people are happy and smiling and laughing, makes a difference and when he does get upset about somebody else using his stuff, like he got upset because of his cousin was using his scooter at the weekend, I sat him down to explain, and then he was fine and it is good to offer your toys to other children, it is all part of learning good people skills.
Arrange playdates and remind them on what you can do and what they are not allowed to do, and install be kind and if a child minds your child hugging them. to respect that and just say hello and shake hands or high five instead.
It is all part of learning and helping their development, and if they see you talk and chat with someone the more they will do the same, in a friendly manner. It is all about forming good socialising habits and prepping them for when they get older, and installing common courtesy and the one thing he does do, is cheer on other children, when playing sports and when he goes swimming.
Once they start to understand the way of the world, other skills and learning how to be with other people, will come but reminding them and showing makes a huge difference.
It is important as a parent that I have my son learn Life Skills to help build my son’s independence and become a person in his own right. I do find I talk for him and so I have to remind myself that it’s Henry who needs to speak, not me and so making conversation is a life skill that my son needs to do for himself and have him use his voice and not mine.
Learning how to dress themselves can be tricky because they get used to you, the parent do it and not them, so now I will lay out his clothes, but he puts them on. He is not always happy about it, but he has to do it and so I will give him extra time to do this, so there is no rushing. My son gets easily distracted by what is going around him and so I will turn down the TV and make him turn off his tablet, until he is dressed and ready for the day. It is important for me and his dad do this, and be consistent with it.
If they want to do things for themselves then let them and step away, but still supervising with some distance, if it is something like cooking and making sure that your child has buckled up his seat belt if you drive, or crossing a road. The way to do this, is by going through it step by step, as they become more aware of what they are doing.
Being street wise especially living in a city in essential as it is important that our kids, to stop accidents happening, know about road safety and when to cross a road and when not.
Teaching kids to swim is good to help with the fear of water. Henry at one point wouldn’t sit down in a bath and would stand the whole time, but then one day he sat down and so what ever was affecting his confidence with a bath, he on his own, overcame it.
Give kids time and they will learn skills by themselvesand if you make it fun, it can really help conquer their fears.
So swimming can help with that and Henry loves Swimming and has begun lessons at school and has lessons on Saturday’s too, and has no fear what so ever, and he even loves showers and has one once a week aswell as a bath when he is with his dad.
It is all about their growth and understanding and knowing when to step in and went not.
The more independent they are the more they won’t be reliant on mum and dad helping, and if they find something difficult then make sure you work together as parents to support them and practice different skills taking it step by step.
They are going to need to cook and run their own baths and showers and washing up and washing their clothes, and cook, so if you keep teaching these skills whilst they are still kids the more they will be knowledgeable when they get older and can be fully independent.
Let’s help each other and thank you to you for following me, if you do and liking blogs it really is mind blowing and so if you want to keep updated on my blogs then you can by following me.
First of all I hope you all had a good Christmas and a Happy New year. I have a new book out on amazon, called Mum&Me and is in my name, Carrie Holmes and is available on Kindle and paperback.
So setting a routine with your kids. First lets all make sure your children are prepared and ready and looking forward to going back to school by talking about it and what they are looking forward to.
Have them write i down what they did during the holidays so they can show their teacher and their friends.
I like to create a photobook for Henry to show and you can do this via google photos and not expensive at all.
Have a uniform station
So where they eat their breakfast and so once they finished they can then begin to get dressed.
Put what they are wearing laid out, along with their school bags that is near the front door ready to pack and for when you need to leave to get your child to school or is picked up.
With my son it his dad that gets him ready for school now, but he still does a routine and his dad has Henry do a bit of reading to help prepare Henry and Henry loves school and thankfully doesn’t get upset with going.
I remember when I would take him to school, there was a young girl crying her heart out as she didn’t want to go in and it can be so distressing and so do feel blessed that Henry is not like that. Kids can fear school, so to help,
it so prepping them before hand can help and having a routine, even if it is listening to a song, if it helps them then use it.
Do some dancing,
I have done this with Henry before school and when he comes home and it helps him to unwind and it is mainly spinning around, but it is such fun and you want to get to your kids endorphins and bring a smile to their face.
As soon as the come home go through their bag and take anything out and if they can do this themselves then have them clear their bags out themselves.
Have them put anything out from their bags that needs washing into the laundry basket or in the washing machine and find out what they did during their first day back a school.
This is can be hard because Henry doesn’t always say, so the school teacher will write a note in his book to tell us but what I did yesterday, that I am going to continue to do is have him write something about the day, even if it is one or two sentences and a bit of reading.
So, I hope that the first week back goes well and help get us back to the school routine.
This week my son performed in his school Christmas show and I was really looking forward it, but he wasn’t in it and it did have a date in his message book but because the tickets were for Thursday I thought the date in his book was wrong, because even though he does the Year 1 curriculum he really is in Year 4. I was given the wrong ticket and missed his performance and my son was looking for me on the Monday when he was performing with Year 1. Yet as said was given the tickets for Thursday for years 3 and 4. which technically is his year and believed that he spends time in in that year aswell as year 1 , so yes went to the wrong performance.
I am so disappointed and next time will check and make sure there is a better communication between us (my son’s dad and I) with his school when it comes to school events, as the teacher is going to see if it was filmed and if she can send it to me so I can see it.
I hate letting my son down and he did says something on Monday but thought he was confused and so said to him I will be seeing him on Thursday. So a miscommunication has now got me concerned because we aren’t sure of when our son is doing in terms of his mainstream classroom (which is in year 4) and with year 1.
When it comes to schools and Henry it has been a challenge because even the school he is in now may be changed as they are saying that they can’t long term still have him there and needs to be with a more specialised school and I talked about this in my Youtube channel, Typical London Gal Carrie Holmes, in my last week Sunday chat video.
I want to be there for all school events and it was so nice to see him get a award from when he has been having horse riding lessons and next year if he does stay at his current school, having swimming lessons and currently he has private lessons on a Saturday and loves it. Forgetting what happened this week, I really am not wanting him to go somewhere else to learn and make sure that any events I double check and email his teacher to keep track of what he will be doing in year 4 and when he has events with year 1 as at least I can make sure there is better communication on our part.
This has also made me see that I need to listen to my son more, as he takes in a lot of what is said, and knows more that what he lets on. I want to be part of his journey at school and see all of his shows and be there when he has his yearly reviews, and not miss a thing.
It is so important to me that I am part of his learning and help support him with his development. to grow our relationship. I know there are a lot of families struggling and parents worrying about letting their kids down, but what is important, is that it isn’t all about presents but showing love and compassion, and meeting family they don’t always get to see and friends.
Christmas is only once a year, but love continues throughout their life and telling them and showing them each day is for me most important and that I listen and learn as a parent and support him even more.
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If this is the first Christmas for your child then they will not know what is going on but you can still celebrate and buy a Christmas Babygro and still decorate as babies love twinkling lights.
Play Christmas songs and dancing around the room whilst playing them, and it makes me think about those families who don’t have the luxury and not afford it, and there will be many find it a struggle and so it is the time to help make sure children from poor backgrounds can have a gift and give decorations to them, to put up.
This is the one of the reasons why I buy from Charity shops rather than chain stores all of the time and support small businesses, and local businesses. I am going to donate this year and if I see stalls for food banks i am going to donate. Now Tesco’s have begun to when you shop ask if you’d like donate to a charity and I do.
Sometimes there are scams and so you do need to be vigilant especially when buying online and that everyone can celebrate Christmas and not be struggling to put food on the table.
When it comes to Christmas and is your baby first everyone will want to hold them and have cuddles and a good way for you to unwind and have time to catch up with friends and family and having your family around you can make a huge difference, and again if you know a family that don’t then why not invite them round or choose another day around the festive season. If you are able to, and have a massive sleep over watching a Christmas movie and play family games, after dinner and finished by a lovely supper and time for some family pictures and like my brother did do a family photo of your baby on the Christmas cards, so they have something to remember and your child can see when they experienced their first Christmas.
It is all about giving love and sharing love, and have something for your child to remember forever.
Hello and welcome. It is now the end of November and yes we are a day away from December.
I wish I could pause the time and slow it down a bit. I have bought some more gifts and so I have been ordering from Amazon, who I always go too, for some great deals and items. It’s all about sets for me this year and you can get some really good deals.
So you can buy craft sets and games. I have done a gift guide video: @typicallondongal and will be more coming as we get closer.
To help you I have created My Parent Gift guide printable and so here it is:
This has many ideas and I hope that you find them helpful.
For me it is budgeting and of gifts that have longevity and items that will definitely get used, and so find out as the child’s parents of what they are into and have a spending limit and give a child money or a gift card, and they can choose what they want.
So have a good Christmas time and there will be more blogs to come.
So experiences. They can be brilliant rather than a toy that may never be played with and one year I bought my nieces a experience at Chessington World of Adventures to feed the giraffes and they loved it and created them a letter from Santa to invite them and could choose a day they can go and do it. They ended up being there for nine hours.
Lets support the local theatres and see a show. The are the famous theatres in London but there are local ones, like where my son lives they often put on shows at the Epsom Playhouse and the Polka Theatres. They do a load of kids shows for all ages and the one near me in Wimbledon have a softplay area aswell and I am taking my son to a pantomime at the Wimbledon Theatre and another one at the end of the December in Woking. It is worth it and they don’t have to be for a lot of money. There are companies called Groupon and buyagift.com do special offers on seeing a theatre show and it s great afternoon or evening out.
If you unable to afford it then why not create an experience at home, like a Christmas afternoon tea with turkey sandwiches and cakes. I am taking my son on Saturday to see a football match at AFC Wimbledon and tickets not that expensive, £20 adults and £5 for kids under 18 years.
Why not have a football night and have hot dogs and burgers indoors and can be made into a playdate so they can watch it with their friends, and save you a lot of money and create an invitation to invite their friends around. Make these by hand, with plain and different coloured paper.
Create a camping experience and have them camping out in the garden, if they love camping and again have there friends over to join them and make a bonfire to melt marshmallows. Not necessarily in the winter but create a voucher for it and set a date and write a letter from Santa to tell all about it and what will be included. Like there will be friends coming and games they will play or telling spooky stories.
Arrange a sleepover for your kids and invite other family with their kids around and play party games like, pass the parcel or musical statues. Have them play a board game, which I feature in my gift guide I have linked above of classic games they can play and have a lucky dip.
It is all about making in special and personally for them to have a memorable time and have lots of fun without spending a fortune.
~Why not organize a day where they are in charge of the day and can choose different experiences that can be booked in the year ahead, like go Ice skating. As a kid my mum and her friend would take us to Queensway in London and often at Christmas time they have an ice rink near the museums in South Kensington in London and such good fun. Yes again you may need to save for it but is worth it. Go for a meal at their favourite place and give them a list to write to choose which experience they’d like to do and if they are good get to do what they have chosen and really great to create everlasting memories.
I hope you find these tips helpful and will be doing more blogs as we get nearer to Christmas and birthdays coming, and if you’d like to tell us what experiences you loved that others on this blog would like to read then please do so below.
Hello, hello and hello. Do I say it, that we are approaching the Festive Season of joy , yet because the prices of things going up it can put strain on it rather than enjoying it, so if you have any toys your kids don’t use anymore then why not donate them so other kids can enjoy them too, and work together so we all can still smile and enjoy Christmas.
I filmed my first gift guide yesterday and so this will go up by next week and going to do a series of blog posts and videos of how you can create your own gifts and experiences for Christmas.
Christmas is spending time with family and friends. Forgetting all the hate and things that annoy you and having a good dinner and a good day.
Go second hand, it can really benefit but do you maths. I do buy items and going to find decor in charity shops but still keep a list and have a budget.
You can create your own Advent Calendar and I am going to look around and see the different ones and Poundland often do some brilliant Christmas decor so I will taking a look and my favourite online store Amazon for decor and presents and make them fun.
So it is coming up to Christmas, but it also coming up to check schools out to choose where you want your children to go if they are due to start school he following September and first school year. I felt anxious because Henry had a time where if he saw a gate open or a door, he would go through it and run off and it really caused me to have anxiety over it and so the security of a school was very important and so go through any queries you have before you visit so you know what to ask, if this is a worry for you too.
The other thing is the school values and if they do what they say. Henry has development delay and so needs 1 to 1 support, but because he was behind due to this they in the end couldn’t cater for him when initially said because of their values they would but didn’t and Henry had to go to a different school to continue to get extra learning support and so, if your child has development problems and need 1 to 1 support, find out how they will support your child, and how they will cater to their needs.
When it comes choosing schools do look at the Ofsted report, and if you live far from the school find out by your local authority if they can provide transport. My son gets a free taxi to and from school because of the distance and because his previous school working with the local authority could provide this to us.
The other thing that you may have anxious feelings about, is if your child transitions to school routine, and so ask about what your child will be learning when they start and what is the learning method and if it will suit your child and if they do a moving up day, it is worth going. Henry at first was super anxious and that made me feel it too, and so in the holidays before he started helped him to get excited about it and go through all the good things they will be doing and keep talking about it and how they will make a lot more friends and learn new things.
Then there is food. When in the first two years in the UK children can get free meals up until year 2 and have to start paying from year 3. This however may change but worth asking and what food they serve. Henry at his school he going to now, told me that Henry wasn’t eating his lunch, and so would be super hungry when he came home, and so check if the food that child will eat, if not ask if they are able to bring in their own, and have a packed lunch.
Will they cater to your child’s diet if your child has any allergies to food and ask will the food meet your child’s dietary requirements, as they should cater for all, because of discrimination and if the child eats food for religious purposes.
So I hope these tips help you and chat with other parents you know that can give you support and advice, and raise your concerns, as it is about your child having a good education and that your child gets so much out of it.
Yes it is that time of your children’s growth where they can get into cupboards and cause as much mess as possible not good if you have OCD as it can feel like a bomb has hit it. Well fear not, because you can also create games with them, to see how many balls can they get into a bucket and begin to know where things go.
I this is a series of blog, please check out my first two that I wrote and shared:
They will start to test your patience, and my son poured a shelf of custard in a supermarket and yes and foolish left, his dad and I legged it. Yes sorry to those who did clear it up. I do feel shame in that, as it should be reported so people don’t walk in it or slipped over.
Then there is baby proofing. The one thing I would say is avoid using gates as it can feel restrictive and if they see you walking down the stairs and show then they can still be safe when it comes to stairs, as they learn as they follow you without falling and so would say baby proof cupboards, apart from their toys as it good to have them choose a toy themselves to play with.
They may begin to snatch, so teaching the words like “Ta” can help them learn the correct way if you do help them and be assisted with a toy. I have found that the earlier you practice “Please ” or “thank you” the more they will do it, and if they don’t, stop feeling bad like I have done and be hard on yourself, just keep reminding them and they will learn to naturally do this, and will be an example to other children.
They will throw a lot and get frustrated when they not able to do something. Tried not to get cross as this can lead to both of you having a tantrum, but show them them to place the item and encourage them to ask. This goes with as above good common courtesy and learn to share with children as they can start to begin to interact with other children and good when they can play nicely with no tears or tantrums.
The terrible twos can be tricky, and if you can get support from family and friends, then take them up on it. This doesn’t mean you are a bad mum, as we function better by having a rest and having some alone time. So if you can delegate them do so, and then continue with supporting your children once you batteries are fully charged.
It is a transformation and so the first tip, like my last blog, to take your time. Any concerns speak to your midwife and health visitor and never think you are being silly.
You don’t know how you are going to feel no matter how many baby books you have read, but it can be a a joyous occasion, and so if I had to talk to myself when my son was born, is to be more relaxed and taken it in everything and don’t get upset if you get things on. When in the Special Care unit. every parent would put the nappy on the wrong way or baby would do a week or a pooh, whilst changing a nappy.
I remember sons first bath. We had talked whilst having a coffee, on one of our first trips out, after our son was born, and it the plan was forgotten as my son’s dad, stripped him off before I got the bath ready and the water wasn’t warm enough and Henry was crying we began to argue and felt relived it was over.
Thankfully we learned for the second time.
Babies when they are first born, can lose a bit of weight, and then as they feed will gain wait. However if you have concerns then of course tell your doctor or health visitor, and I for the first month kept note that he had poohed and that he is weeing.
Henry had reflux and so we had to give him infant Gaviscon for it and would put a sachet into his milk and kept note again whilst he was being given the Gaviscon because you can use it up to 6 sachets each day, and this did stop the reflux and was advised by the doctors and nurses on the Special Care unit who used it and advised us to use it whilst he was still in hospital as he was Premature, and when we took him home, and used it up to 6 months or so.
If you are having breastfeeding issues but anxious about your breast milk or not wanting to breastfeed, then get help. I wasn’t producing enough, and I did all what the nurses advised to encourage my breastmilk to come through and watched on Youtube for tips. and only got a little bit, and thought I did well, only for it to be given back because it wasn’t enough. I felt defeated, but kept on, but it was stressing me out.
Now you can get counselling for it and if I were to have another child, would definitely go down that road and get support. If you choose not to breastfeed, then I believe this is choice and should not be judged for it. As long as your baby is drinking milk and is healthy then, that is what is important.
Next is sleep. When Henry was going to be discharged, we were offered to use their family room before we took him home and spend the night to get used to caring for our son, and neither me or my son’s dad, didn’t get a lot of sleep and the routine completely changed when we took him home for the first time. His first night at home he made a lot of noise and again didn’t get a lot of sleep and would sleep when he did, both of us and after our son would sleep through the night, and I would worry and check to make sure he was breathing and of course he was fine.
This changed when he began teething, but was able to sleep unaided and that is because we never made a fuss, the occasions when it was difficult was when he was unwell. Thankfully is a deep sleeper even now he is 8 years old. I know we aren’t all that lucky, but you adjust and if you get someone offering to look after your baby whilst you catch up on sleep accept the offer, as rest for new parents is a must.
So where to begin. I am amazed at the feedback I am getting on this blog site and that you are liking my content, it really means the world to me.
Check out my new Truth About Parenting video, talking of the same subject above and inspired me to write this post.
When we have a child a whole new set of feelings begin, Will I make a good parent? How will I handle when my baby is crying? What do I do if they get sick? and so you get all these thoughts, and so, want to say it is normal and it is alerting you of what could happen, and so if you begin to go through the questions, then fear not it is normal, and being a parent it is a new responsibility.
Find a quiet space and go for walks. This really was a must for me and avoid parenting programmes. I didn’t and was not what I wanted to watch and if I do have another child at some point no longer will watch anything like that, like One Born Every minute and pregnant and 16, and so when I started to learn about each stage of my pregnancy on Youtube and from books, I felt a lot better and stopped the fear, that having a baby can bring, and it is hormones they are preparing you, so take the feelings in and put them to rest, by educating and not fearing.
Listen to your body. You will feel aches and pains, but doesn’t mean your pregnancy is in danger and the body preparing it self and so if you feel tired, take a nap and if you feel sickness eating dry foods like crackers can be help with Nausea and for me I had really bad indigestion and so would be careful of what I ate and drunk, like fizzy drinks, and drank milk which helped and ate a good varied diet, and be near a toilet, as you can wee a lot. Again never be alarmed and if you are worried talk about it with your midwife. I also had to give up running as it would cause me to be sick and I would get congestion but this was nothing to do with being pregnant but to due to the fact I do get Hayfever, and was pregnant during the summer.
Talk to your baby inside the womb. This will allow your child to get used to your voice and they can hear you, and so to ease anxiousness and bond with your baby. It will help you enjoy your pregnancy and playing music, sounds outside, can help your babies movement in the womb. I am not an expert but my experience and it helped my fears and worry and take in each trimester.
Enjoy the cravings. For me it was Chinese food, and so would take advantage. I went off chocolate and certain meats, but items like Chinese food I made the most of, but not too much as the acidity could effect my indigestion, and yes my son had a lot of hair and could see in my 25 weeks scan.
It doesn’t need to be stressful and can be a happy time. Just take in each step, talk to your Midwife and speak to them of any worries and when your child is born speak to your Health Advisor and with family, and if they offer their help then take them up on it and even contact me as I would be happy to help and the reason why I began this blog was to reach to other parents and help with any challenges that come your way like I have experienced and just have a chat. Please comment in the space below.
I have written some books on parenting to and my experience, and are on Amazon, under the names, Carrie Challoner, Carrie Lee Holmes and Carrie Holmes.
I as I wrote this want to create a series of Anxiousness when being a parent so will talk about when your baby arrives, When they become a toddler, the terrible twos, when your child is away from you and over when they start school.
Lots of my habits have stemmed from my Childhood, like being street wise, and that is a good habit and now my son is learning that, and we go through different street names to help for when he can venture out on his own know where he is.
This has helped me with my sense of direction as my trait there comes from my mum, because it is like the blind leading to blind, and whenever I got lost, she has become the first person I go too. Thanks too having a mobile phone, and thanks to maps on phones.
My sons sense of direction is good and this comes from his dad, and has a brilliant eye for observation and knowing where the park is and this has grown as he had a good memory quite early in his life and he instantly knows as we walk the same routes of where to go and where he can watch the trains, and knowing where the train station is, and it is important that he knows where he is going.
Doing errands and life skills. I from a young age was domesticated and many of my friend who would visit were surprised by that, vacuuming, cooking, laundry, grocery shopping and clean I just learned. I was quite slow at doing these things, but watching my Nan and my Mum, and from friends, these skills and habits were imbedded in me. . I still struggle with this habit, but I do a reset each week. I am currently doing an Autumn reset check out my blog site https://everyonecanbuildacastle.com This is going through different areas of my life and tidy up, complete tasks and projects, and reshaping my life so it can be better.
He knows where the food goes that we want to buy, and would help put items in the basket, he will tidy up his toys. He often needs reminded but he will without being told, tidy and its habits like that, that should become natural and that for me is a Keyword.
The other habit I have since being a kid, is being creative and my love of writing came from school and from Play school, and I remember my first day of school, we had to write a story, and the teacher would write it and then you copied. With my son at school it is very different now, but my son can write he just doesn’t always not want to do it. Yet he has improved and is now understands this his how he can communicate to his friends, and gonna make Christmas cards with him this year making sure he writes each week.
I love making cards and I see my son is enjoying this too, and is understanding now why he needs to write and do drawings, and as a kid we would always at school, practice our hand writing.
My son is beginning to come home from school and change his clothes and does this before he is allowed to play. He has come to learn about what the cooker is for and he will stir his food in the saucepan and where his plates go once finished. I did this at a early age too, and creating a routine which works around your kids, doing the same thing really does help their development and it did for me. The more they do something for themselves the more responsible they will become and this is from my own experience.
The on thing we have been really vigilant on is swearing. Kids will copy this and this is stemmed from my growing up, and yes I still swear but try my hardest not too, when my son isn’t around and replacing it with different no swearing words, as they will take this habit into school and so is a habit that definitely had to watch myself and thankfully he has learned that this is bad habit and I hope I am jinxing, has stopped doing.
It is all about learning and establishing good habits and stop the bad.
Just to let you know I have finished another book I have been writing, and is now published on amazon.com, called Mum&Me and so if you want to a good laugh then this book is for you. Its available on Kindle and Paperback.
Life as a parent comes with learning things you never thought you would, like learning how to get fit whilst looking after your kids. This is playing football and rugby and dancing. It is all about making time for fun with an element of education as it good that Henry learns about taking turns and making their bones stronger.
I get that Henry doesn’t want to do any homework after having a week of learning all week, so we do little bits so he doesn’t get overwhelmed, and if he does it we then is rewarded by playing some more. It is finding a good balance between doing some time outdoors or if it rains play indoors, and then school work.
Understanding our kids helps with having a better communication and today when Henry came home from school he was upset, so instead of saying “Don’t be silly” which I catch myself saying a lot, we had a cuddle and chatted about what is was upset about, and then we played some rugby, then watched a bit of TV and all was good again. Kids just want reassurance at times that there is a logical reason, and it was that his bestfriend wasn’t in the taxi today and he didn’t kick off or lash out, because we had a good “Mother and son chat”.
Often we can get stuck on situations, like Henry really wants to have his new friend sing Justin’s house theme tune, and he really couldn’t get the grips with why he couldn’t, and makes me understand that he needs to have friend he can have a playdate with, but of course speaking to his friend’s parents, but because Henry travels to school by taxi each day we don’t get to see them and so had to explain to my son that he has his own house, but perhaps write a note to Jason and ask if he’d like to join Henry one day and perhaps we could do something so his friend can help celebrate his birthday that is coming up.
There are ways around things and it is a lot of trial and error.
When it comes to understanding our kids, it can be hard to workout how to solve the issues your children are having and supporting their worries and when we can’t get to grips with what they want it can be frustrating for both parties.
There is away, and that is to sit and have a chat with your kids to work around it and remember they are in the room, and often when talking as parents we forget they are there and so important for them the be involved and “Where there is a will, there is a way”.
I do write books on being a parent on amazon in Kindle and paperback on Amazon, under my names, Carrie Challoner, Carrie Lee Holmes and Carrie Holmes, so please check them out.
First of all, thank you so much for following me, you mean the world to me and so happy you are liking my blogs.
Today the Queen is at rest at Westminster Hall in London, where I am from and would be there but I am on a course this week so couldn’t but we took, my mum and step dad, took my son up to London to Buckingham Palace last Sunday to pay our respects, and feel so good by doing so.
I am a Royalist and have been since a kid, but like many went against them for the while, the Royal Family because of Princess Diana. Then later on having to digest this have been able to forgive and forget.
So talking to your kids about the monarchy is important to me, because they are head of state and are here to support us in our country and play important part in the world, not just in Britain, and do so much for different communities, like raising awareness of mental health, which a subject very close to my heart, Princes trust helping young people have a better future if they have had a difficult upbringing and need specialised support. Then there is he Duke of Edinburgh award which is for young people to help to learning to be resilient and development of young people, going on trips and doing many life skills, that helps support their future.
I understand that this also about choice, and is up to you to believe in the Monarchy or not. Everyone has their own views and both I believe should be respected.
However I want my son to know about the Monarchy and I have been following all of the events taken place, and want my son to learn about it. If he chooses that he is not a Royalist that I would respect, but will still teach him about the Royal Family and the part they play for us being British and the world.
RIP Majesty Queen Elizabeth II and long live the King.
Yes, she has gone, Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II has passed away and it is slowly sinking in, and for me I want to see it as, “She’s putting her feet up at last” as she worked up until yesterday, when she died.
She was a doting wife, a mum and monarch, and I wonder how many sleepless nights she must have had, having four children and if she when she gave birth needed gas and air. She was still human after all and often i feel because she was head of state, it is hard to imagine, but she was.
She was a daughter herself and a sister and loved her sibling and worked together and wonder if they ever argued playing monopoly like me and my brother and who would get to be the banker, or connect 4. Or played card games as a family eating a meal together talking about the day’s events and she was strong in that she connected to the nation during the war and thought nothing of, but as her duty being a royal with her sister to give comfort to others and never worried how it would effect them.
There were tragedies, having a fire at Windsor Castle and divorces, but still did so much for others, travelling the world and enjoying the arts and meeting so many Prime Ministers and other heads of states, like Presidents of the United States and doing her job supporting the Commonwealth.
With all that though, she still had children to take care of and yes she may have had nannies, but she still was hands on and training them to be the next monarchs of the country and do good. She had to look presentable and she always dressed for the occasion and made the effort, and I do find that inspiring because I bet there were days she may have wanted to stay in bed, but was a Queen who and mum and wife, her duty and the forget she worked being 96 shows how important her role was to her.
Hello we are in September and for me is the time I have to plan for some birthdays coming up and so need to be very sensible about where my money is going. I am in no way blaming the birthdays effecting my spending on myself as I like planning what to buy for the birthdays coming up, its just I have to really get to grips of making sure I save for the birthdays coming up. On Sunday it is my nieces birthday and because she is older than her sisters and is a teenager now, I buy going on the age of each child, and get to grips with their current loves.
The price of a present should never be the factor, it is what the present means that is important. Get your kids involved and see what they’d like to give to that other child, and have them fill in the birthday cards, and if you have craft paper and tools, why not make a card, or gift.
Why not make paper flowers and The Works has materials for crafting and often used them to invest in crafting and so we will be making Christmas cards with Henry, and have him make some gifts, like photo book of images that you have saved, or give a DIY gift like craft tools as a present.
If they like books you can give a book token so they can choose the books from the store, or if they have a tablet why not buy them a Kindle Book as you can download the app and they use it take advantage. You can get books for free via Amazon Kindle.
Make a collage of you kids and write to a kids TV show where they show a child’s birthday, they say that everyone always have 5 minutes of fame, so why not if they love CBeebies for example you can send in birthday cards and will really put a smile on your kids faces, as that is the aim and will always have that to remember.
Get tickets to go and see a local football team. On my sons first birthday I saved and took him to a football match and even though it was raining we still had a good time. If you go to see a lower league team, often kids go free and pay on the day of the match. I know I may have mentioned this before in a previous blog, but is one of my favourite ideas, because it helps support the smaller clubs, or to a rugby match any sport is really good fun go to. This Sunday I am taking my son to watch a local rugby league game and he loved it last time.
Then there are local parks, and the gardens I have close to where I live, South park Gardens, and often there are kid birthdays, and as the days are still humid can still do and then there are places like Bocketts Farm and they host kids birthday’s as my youngest niece had her birthday there. Check out my Day in a life videos on Youtube as I have done a video showing me and my son at Bocketts Farm: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCUDFIqjVKLy7NhtcR6Hy0Tg
It is my birthday in September and so if you do too you can still have a birthday party and make it a family occasion.
I know a lot of people say that money doesn’t buy love, and is a false of all evil, but we need to have it to pay bills, clean our kids clothes and feeding our kids, so it is important to have money and to help our kids learn about it too.
This means teaching them how to shop, save, bank accounts and debit and credit cards. To begin with start with change and then build it up. I am going to begin giving Henry a monthly allowance now he is more aware of it, and put some more money into his bank account, which is a junior ISA and he is not allowed to use the money until he is 18.
I would advise as soon as they are born to do this. I want to invest in my son’s future, and him not being dependent to anyone and want him to independently with money and be sensible when it comes to investments.
Have them count change, I have a jar of change and so going to get his money box to count out how much money he has got.
My son the other day asked if he could swipe my card, when we were out shopping, but I was a bit hesitant about that. Next time though I will have him help, and show him ways we can save, like looking for items we need when shopping and how can we make our shop budget friendly. Have them learn about prices and what is a good purchase and what is not.
Play shops at home. Henry has a pretend till and for his birthday I’d like to get him some set of pretend shopping items to use with his till. However, because he is 9 this may be a bit to young for him, but would like to invest in items that will help with his development. This for me, is the time to teach when they begin to pay an interest and Henry is.
I want him to be good with saving and investing. I want him to budget and pay attention to the costs of items. This means teaching them to turn lights off when a room in the home is not being used, and keep the heat in at home. Be sensible about cooking and saving money on Utilities. It will help no end and allow them to play with money. I want to save his change because as far as I am concerned every penny does count.
So let get our kids ready for the big wide world and have fun with it. Play some games around money, like shops and I used to have a toy post office, which taught me the price of stamps and posting packages. Have them count the money we have saved and what we have purchased.
Teach kids about sales and when it is not a good sale, and if they are really making a saving or not.
It all benefits so lets make our kids be good with money so it lessons the worry ourselves.
There was a time when Henry would have certain meals because he wouldn’t eat any vegetable, yet this week, he has eaten Chinese Food, gone back into having a Banana, he has eaten berries. and this morning he had scrambled egg on toast instead of his normal cereal.
This could change, so treading carefully, but yes and has eaten Vegetarian food and avoided him having too much chocolate. I do thank my mum and step dad for helping, because now it becomes easier when it comes to meal times, and the tip I say is to keep trying. Not False feed, but say you can have chips on occasion but you have to eat your cucumber for example aswell.
Cutting all treats is a hitting a disaster, but minimising them, really helps widen their food choices. It helps when going out of meal. It can be hard to know what they will have and if they don’t have a kids meals. Now though many restaurants to cater for all, and so it is not restrictive. I didn’t have my first Curry until I was 21 years old.
My son will eat spicy food and again just give the a pea size amount at first when it comes to spicy dishes and sauces, it good for them to get used to different tastes.
Having chips everyday is not good, but a bit of everything. I now will eat Vegan food depending on what it is and helped conquer my fear of such food.
Kids taste buds change, and often when kids see you eating and is something different to what they have seen before may ask to try and so if they do, allow them to have a bit, just to widen their tastes, to just see.
Do check the nutrition labels just in case before making them meal, and why not get them involved in the cooking. My son this morning helped make his scrambled egg, and he asked me if he could. Never be reluctant as it is good for their development.
It all about trial and error. Never fear if they change their mind again, never make a meal out of it, pardon the pun. It is them growing and getting to know about themselves. Kids need to learn about cooking, aswell as reading and writing. It is all about independence and preparing them for the outside world.
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Music has so many benefits, such as teaching kids about sounds, different words and as a kid when I had to learn my timetables, my mum bought me a tape that was singing, but of the timetables, because I would listen to music all of the time.
It did help me and was a great way to learn, and to help with Henry my son, we use Oak Academy which has different classes and in their lessons, they sing a song, and it makes it fun and not like school work, yet in has benefited, in that his writing has improved and learning new words.
It is free service and no I am not sponsored, if they’d like to then that would be great, but no and it was my mum who introduced it to me and there are English lessons, maths, geography and Drama, etc and music is a good resource.
I am listening to music now as I write this blog and it can help with concentration, and when it is catchy kids will listen to it, and at school I did like music class. I did sing in the school choir at Primary School and then played the recorder, and was not a lover of school, which I have documented. If you’d like to see more of my content like videos and other blog sites then they are linked below.
As a kid I would sit in my bedroom and listen to music and is how I relax, and is like water it comes naturally to me and love having good sing. No I am no Jessie Ware, who I am listening to now, but I do have the music within me. I did Karoake and loved it and that I’d love to do that again as it is about having fun and you can buy them. I want my son to do more on music and it gets their attention.
My son has ADHD, so anything that helps support his development and grabs his attention I will use, as long as it is a good resource.
So, have fun and why not have a summer party and having kids sing songs is a great way to doing that.
Many thanks for reading,
Typical London Gal.
P.S: See link below where you can see more of my content:
So a while back, I think it was about two years ago my son was happily playing in the park and I was on my phone as often that it is a good time to do so. One parent who had about 5 or 6 kids, moaned that my son wouldn’t get off this merry-go-round, and was being rude and didn’t like the fact I was on my phone. All it was she wanted her child to go on there and not my son, because he had not had been on there for long, but she thought that it was well within her rights that her kids had first pickings in the park, but did she?
No, I then moaned back, I can’t remember what I said but it was that, I was only on my phone for two seconds and at the time it was important things coming through because he was in the process of changing schools, but she didn’t know that and just passed judgement.
Was she in her rights? No, because she obviously thinks that her kids are more important than other kids in the park and, like had a grudge of other kids being in there.
At the end of the day you will have parents who parent differently but got to allow kids to take their turns and I knew what was going, because she knew that was my son, and why should she think she is more important, and it was that my son hadn’t had a long go like the other kids that had used, it.
She had this attitude, whereby she didn’t think it is okay to share and why can’t my son go on the climbing frame along with her kids, as long they are safe, what is the issue? Kids just want to play and that is how they form relationships. But no allowing others kids have a turn is showing that it isn’t right to share.
I know it is right that we should stick up for our kids, but not when you make it unfair to other kids and there shouldn’t be a divide.
I find a apologise often now when my son wants to get on a seesaw and there is a child he doesn’t know on it, but they are okay with it. Its just those who feel that kids should keep a distance in that they shouldn’t play along with other kids they don’t know, but again that is how they form relationships.
Have you had that experience? Let me know in the comments and how did you handle it?
I have written books on parenting on amazon under the names. Carrie Challoner, Carrie Lee Holmes and Carrie Holmes.
So it is the first full week of the School Summer Holidays in the UK and today spent it in Wimbledon Park, because they have two playgrounds and a large lawn there to play football on for example, and not sponsored but is a good place to go. They often have a Funfair during the holidays which was there, but not set up yet. They have water sprinklers on for the kids and my son played there all morning and they have a pond where you can feed the ducks and the swans and have rowing and canoeing lessons there, so a lot to do and even have tennis courts and there were holiday clubs in those areas too.
I used the cafe there for food, and it is okay not expensive, but I had a sandwich and was not nice, but they do do some nice meals, and mainly for kids and sell hot drinks, sodas and different snacks.
Bocketts Farm, which I filmed a Day in a life video of when we had the Easter Holidays, and went last Sunday, and it is a good place for kids. They have animals and a few playgrounds, and has a softplay area and just a good day out. My son this time got to ride on a pony.
I’m not sure if I will be doing Theme Parks, but tomorrow I am taking Henry to the London Aquarium and have already pre-planed and is advisable, because like today we stayed local because of the train strike going on, and so should be back to normal by the time me and my son catch the train into London Waterloo tomorrow but gonna check tomorrow aswell in the morning just in case.
You can do boat trips along the River Thames and so if they are on I will book to see if we can go on one and then there are buses, but often if it is a heatwave can be too hot, but because it has been cooler here in London, UK, will do a bus ride.
So going to say goodnight, as it is 21:55, in the UK and have a good week ahead too.
So once again it is near to the UK Summer Holidays and so my son last week of school and so it is planning on what to do.
I have booked for my son to do some swimming and then softplay, then it is trips to London and going to the park and see if I can get him a lunch box and make him a proper packed lunch ready for the holidays. We are getting a lot of hot weather and piping hot, and so don’t want to be outdoors all of the time, but going out in the coolest part of the day.
I bought a suncream from Wilkos, a child’s one and is Skin Therapy factor 50 and so far impressed as he had not got burned and so I am going to buy a few more and means getting presents for my son’s teachers too, as one of my son’s teachers are leaving the school and so will be looking for some nice presents.
I know there has been debates on should you do a gift for the teachers? I think it is a must because they looking after your child and so it just is a nice gesture and is giving back.
I am not sure of what to buy, but I think some flowers and a card. It is tricky knowing what they’d appreciate but something simple like flowers is a nice thing. I could buy chocolates but with the heat probably not a good idea but will use my head to give something. Henry has his mainstream teacher and his one to one, because he has learning difficulties and so he gets one to one support, and he has done some many good things, like horse riding, taking part in sports day and creating a lot of art.
Above is an example, and this was when his school were doing dinosaur week and he loves dinosaurs and we had to do this for his homework and with the help from Nanny we created this picture and his development has really progressed and so feel pleased with how he has responded to his school work and so hoping that next year it will be the same.
I do write parenting books on parenting on Amazon under my names, Carrie Challoner, Carrie Lee Holmes and Carrie Challoner.
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It is so important for us that we support their education, and so the one thing I make sure my son does is reading, and we are going to work on his words using flash cards today and a bit of writing. Flashcards are great tools to have to teach kids and then as they improve you move onto putting words learned into a sentence and when he does this at home I keep the school up to date of what I have been teaching him at home.
If there is something you aren’t sure of then tell the school as I have found like two weekends ago I didn’t get his homework, so it is good to communicate this as the teachers, because they will have better tools and knowledge that I don’t. It has been an education to me, because the setting of schools now are so different to when I went to school.
When I was at school you had your teacher and that was it. I never received 1 to 1 support, which I wish I had as school because I did have difficulties and felt like I couldn’t get to grips with topics like maths. I would dread doing tests and wanted to be swallowed up and wished I could hibernate for the winter until the end of school.
Getting my son to do homework can feel like a burden because he can be reluctant about it and so then I end up dreading it too. You do have to be tough and even it is a little bit it can still add up, its getting it done is the hard part for me.
Henry never really says much about what he learns and so the teachers will inform us by notes as my son gets a taxi to and from school, so I have to make sure I am or his dad is there to see him off to school and one of us are in for when he comes back.
Often schools will do some training and meet ups to talk about us as parent of teaching kids and they will often tell you what will be happening in the next year of school. I am not sure if they still do this. Henry has consultations and so make sure that I can go to that and meet with his teachers.
The one thing you can do is do a video of them doing some reading for example or some arts and crafts which they haven’t done at school, and also like I did last summer holidays is do via google a photobook to show his teacher of what he did during those holidays and gives my son something to talk about. For my son is not big on big conversations so needs encouragement and so doing these types of things as parents helps both the school and you as a parent.
My son does have learning difficulties but he awareness is advanced and wants he gets something he will continue doing that task. Example when we go by car, my mums car he will says it is 20 mile per hour road, and we my mum and I was surprised that he knew that when he first did this. Perhaps this is on our part being ignorant, I don’t know but he knows a lot that he won’t disclose so prompting and rewarding what he has done in school and home adds to their development and if you aren’t happy with something that is being reported from the school that you speak to the school about it.
I do write books on parenting and so if you would like to check them out you can by visiting amazon and written in the names of Carrie Challoner and Carrie Holmes.
Also I have 3 Youtube channels and other blogs, along with Social media and Pinterest, and on my main the channel (first link you see below and second link my secondary channel) I do parenting videos so check these out.
As a kid I was a super fussy eater and would not have sauces, vegetables unless they were a pea, and when I ordered a burger in McDonalds I would have just the bun and the burger and wouldn’t stand it when food touched other food on the plate. If a pea, and had to be garden peas, touched a chip of example I wouldn’t eat the chip, but eat the pea.
When I first weaned Henry I started with baby rice and porridge and Farley Rusks, and would make my own vegetable purees and he loved them, especially if it was sweet potato and carrots for example and cabbage soup and loved it. Yet now won’t touch a vegetable unless it is super hidden. He is not as fussy like I was, and will eat when he feels like it a banana, but won’t touch any other fruit.
A kids diet has to be nutritious and filling and avoiding too many snacks, but making sure they are hydrated especially in the summer and have a good breakfast, a good lunch and good dinner is important, but when they are fussy it is fish fingers or chicken nuggets and not anything else. So how to get them eat well?
if they can’t see it they can’t moan about it
So making meals that hides the vegetables is a must and Henry is given a multivitamin everyday in liquid form. I have avoided Henry from fizzy drinks and will only have milk or water. I make sure Henry has good amount of exercise and so after he has had his dinner we will go out into the garden to play some football, or I get him to run around a cone, just making sure he is active. I know some say that they shouldn’t exercise after they have eaten, but it is good for their digestion and it’s not fast, intense exercise just a jog and a kick about.
I don’t have it all sussed out. On the contrary, and do doubt myself as a parent at times, but if he has a good amount of energy, and does some form of physical activity, whether it is tennis or cricket, and a good night sleep then, we as a parent can relax too and helps with our wellbeing too. When it comes to activities it can be one child at a time or something the whole family can do. My son would often join in, when I exercise and dancing, like we did today, when he came home from school whilst his dinner was cooling down.
Life as a parent is not always straight forward, and there will be times where they’d rather watch a video on youtube than play football, but aren’t we all like that at times? I spend a lot of time at my desk, writing and not exercise, but I know I have to move in order to get to Epsom ready for when my son returns from school. Any forms of exercise is good, if you enjoy it and ready so they are properly hungry so they will eat and have them help make food. It is one of the best ways for them to try new foods. I want my son to learn how to cook, and grow his tastes so he is not be fussy and gets the nutrients he needs.
It can be hard work and like last week Henry moaned about having pasta, but he ate it as there was nothing else and is not going to have chips everyday or nuggets. I have worked on my taste buds too, and have controlled my eating. I am no longer super fussy and I now do eat my vegetables and so will your children. persevere, and if they don’t like it at first keep trying, and often if he sees us eat something he not ever had, he was often ask if he can have some. So moving on the right track. Well I hope so, and having a meal together has helped to. As a kid we always sat as a family eating our dinner and so important in their development.
I do write books on parenting on Amazon, under the name Carrie Challoner or Carrie Holmes.
So as you may follow me I have been updating a lot of blogs on this site, but then I saw this quote and wanted to use it to write a new post.
Being a parent is great but often they can drive you mad. The relationship I have with my son is funny, because he is very much the parent sometimes and I’m the child.
Just say I am not having a tantrum, and going to do what my son does when he doesn’t want to do something, crosses his arms and stamps his feet, and save it for later when we play football in the garden. This is not always the case as he never wants to get out of his uniform, but it is a rule that if he wants to play football in the garden he must change his clothes.
When I try he will say “I’ll wait until my daddy gets in” and this can make me feel a little bit like “Oh so what’s the matter with me then?”
A word of warning if in the future you may play football with my son, he is a diver. He asks me to tackle him so he can fall down. That this is the world we are living in and wants to play rugby too, and he doesn’t realise how heavy he is, and will wrestle and dive bombs me, and yes we are making him realise he isn’t a year old still, so trying to lean him off, from jumping on me can be a hard task.
He can lash out sometimes, because he gets upset if he doesn’t win at football for example, especially when I want to see if I can get a goal. Often I will stop if he does it, lash out, because it is important that he learns that we all have lost sometimes, and not be hurtful because it can effect his social skills.
They have to learn to take turns. Social skills are a must. My son does have ADHD and autistic, but I don’t use this as an excuse when he misbehaves and so we, his dad and I have made it clear when he does that, not good, and if he continues then we can’t play.
I do enjoy parenthood when my son is smiling and not being stroppy but that’s kids working out how what they want to do, from what they’ve got to do. Henry hates pressure, but he has to learn. Education is there for him to grow, but you can make the learning fun, by inventing games that will help with their learning. My son loves watching Blippe and likes to do experiments of what items sink and what items float, using different objects in water.
Today he reluctantly read his book, but when he got a well done, he smiled and went back to playing. I then had my son running in the garden, as he has Sports Day coming up and so did this to help him prepare, and then played football.
It is important to me that Henry has fun both at home and at school, but he needs to learn more about boundaries, as he can get very close to other children, and is affectionate, not to get on another child’s nerves , but because he likes to comfort other kids. This can be tricky, because he wants to be in every child he sees in the park game.
When the other children don’t want to, it does hit a nerve and feel bad for him. Kids are more switched on than what we think, and getting to know our kids is a hard task because they change all of the time, but then there have been times when he has made a friend, like when we would take him to see one of my auntie’s who live by the coast of England, loved playing with his cousins and a boy he met in a playground near the sea, who was there on holiday and so great to watch my son form relationships.
He loves one of my mum’s friends daughters and when they play it is so sweet and never squabble and have such fun. Every child has their own personality, and so rejection from other kids is part of being a kid, and growing up they will experience this. Also that child or children are learning about building relationships too, not just Henry and I feel you have to be respectful for that and kids have boundaries like us adults.
Kid will play up, and then the next day be the sweet like butter wouldn’t melt but again this is helping to form their own traits and you as the parent traits too.
Never give yourself as a parent a hard time, and enjoy your kids and watching them grow is amazing to see.
I do have many parenting books on amazon, under my name, Carrie Challoner and Carrie Holmes
What a celebration we had this week, celebrating the Queen’s Jubilee and I hope you like me have filmed and taken photos of the celebrations, and what a lot of memories we have created for our children. I would love creating last-full memories for my son, so he can share them when he gets older and may have children of his own one day.
Today it is the Pageant and have this playing as I write this blog on my laptop ready for when it begins. With Kids it is good to keep a diary of this events, as they won’t happen very often not in many of our lifetimes.
The one ways you could do is what I have done for my son, is write him a letter to him to talk about it, and something to treasure and put them in a shoe box for them to keep ready for when they are able to read them.
With Henry I use journals to use to document happy memories, with writing and pictures of good memories and something he can keep and be passed to his children to keep too. If he decides he wants to. It will be my son’s choice.
A lot of schools were having kids paint picture of the Queen which was a fantastic , and why not do it for some else’s birthday party and use as gifts for other children to keep. I have made a scrapbook which included all of my sons’ first drawings and cards. These are keepsakes, and you can put them into a frame, and put on the wall to remember the occasion. Or the yearly celebration.
With the technology we have now there are so many ways to print off photos, and why not teach kids how to arrange flowers and have them dress up the tables and take a photo of the kids who have helped you put the celebrations together and do a guest book. You don’t have to do this at a wedding, but for other occasions too.
Light a candle for those who are no longer here with us, and have the children help arrange a celebration, but have the write happy moments they had with that person, and have your children do a copy of different pictures redone as they get older, and do this with each age that each person has reached.
This weekend has been a blast and I want to see more street parties and celebrations, it just help mark the age of our ages we have all reached.
Yes it is! and I am so looking forward to the street parties because of this birthday to the Queen. She is an amazing lady and so would love to meet her in person to tell her, instead though my son wrote to her and received a reply.
I would encourage you to have your children write to her and I did as a kid when at Primary School, wrote to Prince William and called him, “Mr William” and I can’t remember if I did receive a reply, but glad I did that.
We Brits like a celebration, and so there will be many street parties, and so why not do one aswell even if you aren’t from the UK, as it will be a memory that will be great for them to tell to their children in years to come.
Have your kids create decorations for it and flags. I remember back when I was a kid celebrating the Royal Weddings, and celebrating the Queens I think 25th anniversary of being Queen and I appeared in a local paper, The Fulham Chronicle, and was dressed in a blue, white and red outfit, and then you had the Royal Weddings.
Tell the story of the Queen, and her life leading up to being the Queen. Have them write a story of the Queen and of the this Jubilee celebration. It will be a good memory and if you take photos for the celebrations, create some wall art, like a collage of this anniversary and with Henry we made a crown.
Have your children make their own invitation to invite people to your street party and have a seating plan.
Create some cup cakes and have them decorate them for the day.
Then there is Bunting, all you need is string and paper and cut them into triangles, and have them decorate plates for it and cups. Play some Jubilee games like parcel parcel, lucky dips and egg and spoon race. Just making it fun for them to cherish and look back to smile so if there are other celebrations in the future, then they can then tell their kids and lots of things can be passed down, like clothes and have a Platinum Jubilee jumble sale.
This week it is #mentalhealth week and as a child I did have issues with my mental health and felt I was alone in that and so would keep it to myself. With my son I can see that he gets a bit of anxiety when I don’t go out with him and spends time with my mum (Nanny), and can have meltdowns because he finds it hard when he is told he can’t have something.
I want to get in touch with my son and if he has worries, my role as see it, is to help him go through them and for him to be able to talk to me on how he is feeling. I want to be his shelter and keep my door open to him.
When it comes to your mind as a parent, your mindset can change when you become a parent and can be tough to understand our children’s minds. They are human too and people with thoughts and feelings too.
I believe that kids should be allowed to express themselves, and so if for example my son gets upset I then listen and get to grips in helping him and I think how we respond can have an impact. I try to work it out with him rather than offering punishment. My son is very self aware now that I can see that he can’t always work out why we can’t have something, and confused but I will get to his eye level and explain rather than getting cross.
With children they often want to reach out and be indecisive, and this can lead to them becoming frustrated and feel unheard, when we should have our ears listening the whole time and listening is the key for me. We expect our kids to listen to us and so it works hand in hand.
With my son who has ADHD and slight Autism, he will jump from one thing to the next and it is challenging to get him to concentrate long on one thing, yet when he is concentrating and when we disrupt them, can be confusing to him ad so when he is quiet and is happy playing I let him and let him tell me what he wants to do next. This will help his mindset because he will see that he will be able to play when he’s not disrupting anyone else and gives a good message.
It is getting in touch with their thoughts and feelings, and teaching them about how to express themselves without anger and often if not, from experience, they can lash out. Ask how they are and if they are are concerned about something, and discuss it with them.
Thank you for those that are following my blog, it means the world and there will be more blogs to come. I am doing a Life Coaching programme “2022 Project” helping you to have a better life and a better year. Go over to my site: Everyonecanbuildacastle
I am not super religious but I do like to celebrate Easter and as a kid would watch the story behind this yearly holiday every year on the TV and have read the bible too.
Easter is about Jesus who was crucified on a cross because of people not believing in him, because of the miracles he had done and was the son of God, and was able to see things before they happened, and so predicted that he’d be betrayed by one of his disciples and that it was his last days of his life, he speaks about this on his last supper with his disciples and died on the cross for us all.
Whether you believe in the story I will tell my son, Henry about it, and will let him decide if he believes it or not but want to tell him for his own knowledge. His grandad did give him a bible one that was handed to him as a kid and would like for him to read it. You don’t have to go on and on about it but just to acknowledge the history of Easter and not just about receiving a chocolate egg.
Take them to a church service to celebrate it and have them know the story, of course if you aren’t religious and not keen then don’t, celebrating the holiday is up to each parent and of course if you are of a different religion then of course you tell them that story about being a Muslim or if you are Jewish, whatever beliefs you have, tell them and again let them decide if they believe it or not.
When it comes to religion I don’t go to church but did as a kid and went to two Church Of England Schools, and we would be taught and have an Easter church service and would participate and one year I did play Jesus in an accessibly and was about the last supper.
I know a lot of people would have thought this was wrong being a girl but it was because noone else wanted to do it and so they looked upon me. Of course everybody believes in the Easter Rabbit, but sharing what it is truly about will help them get more out of the yearly holiday and still have fun.
Me and my brother were as kids fighting and squabbling all of the time, and so whenver we’d played a game, like football and or a board game lead an argument. Some kids feel that it is okay to shout, and my eyes have been opened this week as I witnessed kids, whilst helping out at a kids club, ended up with some of them shouting. This opened my eyes, because we ourselves as adults do this too, and so is this effective?
The behaviour of a child comes from us their guardian and I would stop Henry my son from watching the Jeremy Kyle Show because of the shouting. This is not the way to communicate, yet it something we find ourselves naturally doing.
When it comes to children they will copy you, so you have to be aware of your own actions. Avoid swearing, and if a child moans about a child is doing that make them aware that if they continue then they will be consequences, like making them sit out until they learn that bad language is not welcomed.
Hitting is another issue, and you find that kids will lash out. It is a tough one because one child say they didn’t and that is was an accident, whilst the other child says no they did it on purpose. I found this difficult and I struggled with this. What I did was tell them both off together and made them apologise. However this wasn’t totally effective because one child refuse to. If it is someone elses child then tell their parent of but if it is your own child, then move them away and speak to them quietly as much as you can away fromk the other child. You will find that other children will try and stop it too.
My aim since doing the Playworker work is to help support parents with their lives with kids that have Learning difficulties and help children one to one with their parents as I have felt from this week, is that there still isn’t enough support for parents and their children. My Anxiety rose a lot and did effect me, and so really want to reach out and say “It is okay and you will be helped”, and I need to learn too.
I found it very hard to look after a group of children together when some have learning difficulties and the one area that showed when helping out a Holiday club that one area was, building friendships with other children, super shy and wanted to play on their own. Their was one child for example that was playing football, got angry over another set of kids because they weren’t following the rules and some racial names were being said.
This is another area, teaching kids how to communicate to each other better. I felt very overwhelmed by this and so could only image what that felt like to hear these bad words. I felt that some kids did suit the environment, and needed to be in a smaller group as it was a lot of kids and were different ages.
My son, loves other kids and likes to make friends, but when he doesn’t win at certain games, can begin to play up and be disruptive, or they are bored and needs to then do something else. With Henry it is two things, and must tidy up. Again he may not always want to, but with Henry he will often do it without prompting and so make it into a habit, by showing them what to do. Have everyone, including you tidy up, and make sure that they all are helping.
It is near the end of the week and Sunday if you hadn’t put in your diary is mothers day and as a mum I like the fact that this is celebrated as we do a lot, not saying dads don’t, they have their day as dads and so it is only fair we have a day for ourselves too.
If you need tips on what to buy then check out my new March Newsletter which I put together for March 2022.
Some countries celebrate Mothers Day later in the year, and so these tips are for you too. I like simple gifts, like a scented candle, a mug which I received last year from my son, and also a plant and a handmade card. This makes it more personal.
Why not make homemade chocolates. I did this one year, all you need is good chocolate that you can melt, a saucepan that can fit a glass bowl and moulds.
You melt the chocolate in a glass bowl in saucepan that can fit a glass bowl
Make sure that the bottom of the glass bowl is not touching as it can burn the chocolate
When the chocolate has melted, spray a bit of oil in the moulds to stop the chocolate being stuck
Put the melted chocolate into the moulds
Then when the chocolate has cooled down in the moulds place in a freezer or fridge
Once chocolate has set, take the chocolates out of a mould and put into a nice gift bag
Mother’s day only comes once a year so it is good to keep such memories, and so why not create a collage of passed and present memories, like pictures taken when on holiday with your mum and get all your kids to write a message on it. Same with creating a scrapbook. I did this once and it just a really special gift that they can keep forever.
When it comes to Mothers Day I like to go for a coffee, have a cooked breakfast, having a nice dinner and have a bit of time to sit in the sun as it has been nice weather in the garden, reading a book.
So I hope you have a good mothers day and if you would like to check out more content I like to share check out these links:
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In this blog I am talking about “Letting kids take charge”, is it a good thing or not?
Well the main aim is to make them independent, and so letting them manage the things in life is a must, in helping that. Example: Henry likes to use my bank card to get through the gates when we go through a train station, which I don’t mind as long as we both walk through and he gives it back to me.
When it comes to special occasions, like Mothers Day, let them be in charge of picking the gifts and cards, letting them fill in the card and give the gift, but when it comes to schooling and being in charge, if they start playing and not wanting go to school, it can make the morning time a nightmare.
Yet it is good for them to pack their own bags, and remember to take their coats and jackets, and snack they can have at school.
When it comes to toilet training, sometimes they need prompting, so I ask a lot when it comes to my son, because often he won’t go, but he knows that he needs to. Teaching them to do things on their own is essential, because you aren’t always going to be there to help them, so allow them control, and show them how to put on their clothes, when it comes to putting toys away and managing their stuff they have.
If they want to choose what to wear, let them
if they want to pick a meal to have the in week, before shopping day, let them and give them the shopping basket with list, and get them to pick items on the computer, if you shop online
If they want to help with the gardening, and help plant seeds and flowers, let them
When a child wants to help you take care of cleaning then yes let them
Independence comes with learning and so if they want to do something for themselves then encourage them to take charge and be there to support always but they discover many things on their own.
I do film parenting videos on my Youtube channel is you’d like to check these out, then you can via the link below:
Hello and welcome to a new blog, and thank you for liking and following my blogs I have sent out before. Your feedback is great to receive and truly welcomed.
In this blog I am talking about Fussiness and making good choices and helping them have good skills.
My son has become super fussy like this morning he didn’t want to where the white shirt I put on him because it was too big and long sleeved. So I listened and put a short sleeved one that was slightly smaller, but still fitted, before a tantrum had triggered.
Should you always give them what they want?
Not all of the time because they need to know that when you tell them to do something that
they must do it, they need to see that they don’t have the control all of the time.
Example my son hates wearing a coat, so the rule is when out and it is cold he puts it on, and when indoors he can take it off, until we can get back out again when we don’t have to wear a coat, and teaching them about the seasons, to get used to dressing for different weathers and climates, is a huge lesson and with repetitive they will begin to get it.
This is another tip, only given two options at a time.
He still gets upset still on occasions and has specific choice on jackets he will wear, and tops too. He hates hoodies, so the next option he can have is to wear a long thick top instead, like a long sleeve top and a jumper.
Should you scream and shout to get them to do as they are told?
No! When I have done this my son has laughed in my face, but he also knows from my reaction that I am beginning to lose my patience and will stop and think about what he is doing, but with a more steady voice, and when he sees I mean it, that he will then do what he can to make me happy again.
Children need to learn boundaries so set them.
When my son wants to have his tablet, the tv and play on his tipping point machine, he can be disruptive if he doesn’t have these three things. So I made it a rule that he can’t have more than two things at once, and this helps with choices and to get him to play, he needs to do some reading and writing.
So set tasks for kids. This can be after they have read a book, they can help do some baking or for my son can get to play in the playground near to us.
Time outdoors is a must when it comes to my son, as he can start to jump around on the sofas, due to boredom.
When it comes to rainy days, as long as not torrential then we still play outdoors and,
don’t wear your best clothesand the same with them too.
Tracking bottoms is a must for Henry as he could play outdoors in any weather but they will catch a chill even if they are warm person, so.
Have games they can play inside, example the classics, game of cards, do a puzzle, play a board game or put music on and have a dance.
Henry my boy has a good body temperature and,
so don’t fear the rain and if they want to jump in puddles then they can, and climb trees and,
make the outdoors into an adventure.
When the days feel long because they are persisting that they want to the park, but can’t on that day due to the weather or the place they want to go to is shut,
Tell them that as soon as the place is open again then we can go. Teach them also about time and what day the places they love are open from and to, and jot the things they want to do, down in a planner, so they can see it and go through the diary with them and set dates.
This is a good way of teaching them about different times of the year and have a tradition where on Easter for example, when they want a chocolate egg or see a particular friend or their family, they can and show them. With my son, it is based on sleeps, and go through the time via a clock to see the date and time.
This stops them from feeling they aren’t ever going to get what they wish for, and asking when they will get to see a friend or a family member.
Fussiness is based on all of us as we all want things to be done in a particular way, and having things to look forward is a way to do that, and set a date with your kids.
If they have made a good choice tell them and thank them for it, as they will continue to do the right thing when you do.
First of all thank you to my new followers of my blog site, it really means a lot to me, and helps me to deliver more posts to help you and myself being a mum of an 8 year old who luckily likes to travel.
He gets upset with the train as he likes the train to go slower and not fast, but I know that is impossible to control because you don’t always see the driver, and others on the train with their kids need to get to their destination to go home or go out, and so I will take his mind of it to see what he can see out of the window and he doesn’t like going backwards so we always have to go facing forward, and so its getting a sit. Not always possible, but he really makes it clear here wants to sit forward and will find a sit to do that. even if it means sitting apart.
So what I do is tell that when we are going to travel by train to spend the weekend with him and get to the station in good time and get on part of the train that is easier to get on and off at. I get freaked out by the gaps between the train and the platform. I witnessed a child once when travelling back from Lincoln, falling down the gap of the train and this memory stayed with me so I get off where the gap is small and stop my anxiety and anxiousness I can feel when travelling with my son.
If it is a long journey put some calming music on and keep chatting to them through the journey and always make sure that each child has gone to the toilet before hand and have bags packed the night before and check what is available where ever you go in case you forget anything that you can buy once you have reached your destination.
As a kid I suffered with Travel Sickness and so would need plenty of air and would take tablets for it. The issue with those some can make you drowsy, but did help. If your child has travel sickness speak to your GP to find out what is safe to give to your child if you want to go via the medicine route, that they can take for it, and make sure to pack drinks for you and your kids.
Make sure when it is boiling hot outside that you have windows open if not any air conditioning and never leave kids or pets stuck in a boiling hot car. This is so dangerous. If you and your children cycle then make sure that your children understand road safety and they learn what signals to give to help them to cycle safely.
Going on the age of your kids, make sure the car seats are suitable for their age or use a booster seat if they no longer need a car seat but propped up to sit safely to travel.
When it by bus it can be difficult because only certain amount of buggies can get on a bus, so I would travel when the I knew the bus wasn’t going to be packed and would miss the rush hour by travelling in certain times of the day. So after 10am. I know if you travelling to a nursery or school not always possible, so I would next time have baby carrier so then you don’t need to worry about getting on the train or bus. If your child is walking and have them going on how old they are.
I used to get so anxious about travelling with Henry because of the gaps and travelling too far, in case he needs a toilet and there isn’t any, but following the above has been how I managed this.
I have a new Newsletter of what is coming up in my content so check this out below:
Hello and welcome! Thank you all for following me on this blog it really means the world to me, and really helps me to deliver more content you may like.
So Friday is the last day of term and half term again, and that means going out a lot and it lands on Valentines Day. Yes it is here again, I would like the time to go a bit slower, but out of my control like everyone who feels the same.
I am going to set out a plan for next week and see what I can book that is budget friendly and creates a good time during my sons holiday. These are the times you can really get a lot out of. I still not sure if I will be working next week, so if not want to get outdoors and explore.
Of course it depends on the weather, and going to check this out and planning on taking Henry to the Cinema as was nervous in doing so as he has ADHD, so going to see what’s on and see which Cinemas are open.
When it comes to affording the cinema, as it can be expensive is to bring your own snacks and often you can save money if tickets are pre-booked, or save for it beforehand. I will also be looking at local football team fixtures, but you do have to pre-book once the tickets become available.
My son has started Swimming lessons now and want to heIp, his learning and checked local swimming pools, and they do sessions for all and so going to check to see if I can take him this week, of course it may be busy but great way to bond with your kids and miss swimming myself and going to take this up again, as I like to keep fit however possible.
Check out “Better Gyms” as they do swimming classes too and do parent and baby swimming classes, and some of them have soft play for kids too.
For Valentines why not go for a family meal and give your kids a card. I am going to do this for Henry, and going to get him a kinder egg as a gift and some chocolate coins.
So I hope this helps you to plan your half term and remember if you need a coffee have one as it can be a long week ahead.
In today’s society it can be a tricky world, and it can take its toll on us and our kids. For no fault of their own they may be unsure of you, even if you are their parent. Trusting is a key word for me, when thinking about the relationship I have with my son, and want him to feel that he can come to me in full confidence and will support him whatever he decides to do.
Gaining a kids #trust is something that is very important that we all do, so they know that we, the child’s parents and we will never allow anyone to hurt them, but they will get hurt. I hate to face that fact, but it is true. They will fall when they begin to walk, they will catch a cold, they may squabble with another child. This is how they learn to walk and get up when they fall. If kids can use a room as a playground they will. To avoid this have toys out that they can play with and set boundaries.
Never limit kids but have rules that if they want to play and jump on the cushions to tidy them up and teach them not to put cushion over their face, especially if they are really young. control on what they watch on their devices, because they will copy.
If they find that a video scares them, never avoid but let them know it is okay and they don’t have to watch it if they don’t want to, and their fears will change. My son for example as a toddler would cry when he watched You Spin me right round, by Dead of alive and so would turn it off and just play the song without the video, using Youtube.
Henry, my son is very friendly and loves seeing other kids and when he went swimming one of the little girls there got a bit fearful of Henry and another child who looks older than his age, and so the instructor took her in and made her see it is okay.
Never fuss too much about this as they will adjust, and Henry was scared himself when he first began swimming lessons, but through being persistent and not allowing his fear to not go, is now super confident and loves it.
If they see you worried then this can pass on to them, and so it is important as a parent to have peace of mind and I know the swimming instructor, would never allow any child to drown, and if they see you are okay then they will be too.
Its taking gradual steps and you supporting them whenever and wherever possible and let them know each day they are loved, will instantly make them feel safe and that what we want our kids to be.