Yes so the Easter holidays are upon us and time to buy those chocolate eggs and baskets. I filmed a Sunday chat video on my Youtube channel talking about Easter and even though money may be tight you can still celebrate the holidays.
There will be a few days where my son is going t to a holiday club called Youngstars which was £49 for a full day, but not bad and they are brilliant and Henry misses the interaction of being around other children and then we are going to go up London to his favourite place London Waterloo and Swimming. We use Better gyms to go swimming as they do Swim for all sessions and can pay as you go. You can book and I would suggest you to do so, or if you are in another country and have access to a pool then use it, but of course it depends on the weather too.
Where I take Henry they have two indoor pools and he loves it, and they have a soft play section to where we can go after swimming, but going to see if I can book this as it is in another section in the Leisure Centre and does get full.
I will be taking a few snacks with me and some cash, and will be making packed lunches on some days as going to restaurants and eating out can become expensive and when it is warm I often like eating a packed lunch and Henry enjoys it and I love picnics so I hope we will be able to do that.
Plan for the weather not to not go out but to know what to wear and if it is a new place you are going to check out what is local and if you don’t want to be carrying a packed lunch if they do reasonably good price food and if there is a coffee shop and toilet facilities.
I have found that the older a child is the less you need. So with Henry I don’t to carry a lot but make sure I have enough money on my Oyster card (this is a card that you top up to travel on public transport) and that I have some cash and my bank cards. Often I will take a change of clothes but to be honest unless we are going swimming don’t I need to take any but just his coat, and to carry would recommend a bumbag as these are great things to have and will be what I will be using, but to carry coats gonna use his rucksack which is light and for any other items, like tissues and wipes.
The one thing I like is the Easter Egg hunt and my mum usually plans this, and have time with other family members we don’t always get to see and friends and can easily be done on budget and why not have a Easter Egg making challenge and task and I would love to do that with my son, as I did do this one year and they were great to make, so why not give it a try. All you need is chocolate and moulds and then once made can be stored once completed in the fridge or freezer to harden and add sprinkles or putting treats in side.
I have seen a lot of ideas of baking goods to make on Tik Tok, and great for getting ideas along with Pinterest and just having a good time with family and creating those life long memories.
I often wish I could see inside my sons mind, as it would be great to understand his thoughts and fears, as it is hard to tell at times. When I was a kid I found school tough and I did feel detached from the other children and felt I didn’t fit in, and I always feared wanting to be a mum one day, that a child of mine would experience the same.
My son is a much more sociable than me, he still learning about boundaries, because he can get right into other children’s faces, but will say hello to other children without thinking about it and he loves to play and interacting with other kids, but the issue he is having at school at the moment, when he is learning he gets easily distracted by other kids in his class. He struggles with taking turns so helping to support that by stopping the play and go over this issue and remind that playing sports you have to make it fair. I wish I knew the real reason to this, but in observing I think it could because he feels failure and that only he can win, because if not, it means he is in adequate. which he is not.
When children feel separated from other children it can affect them how they get along at school and I always felt different, and doubted my ability in making friends and this has affected my worry of Henry wanting to play in other kids children games that he hasn’t met before, in case they don’t understand him and doesn’t know their games not understanding them, so feel detached.
I never want Henry to feel like that, but you can’t prevent their feelings all the time because they have their own emotions and will have challenges, that is how we all grow and learn.
Stepping back is one tip, and something I have been working on as my son’s parent so he starts to catch up on his development, and learn to form friends by continuing to not get to close to other children and learn to play nicely, and not getting upset when playing sports with other kids. It is good for kids to be competitive, but being respectful too, to the apposing team. One of my goals for Henry is to join a sport clubs, as I think this will help, but its finding a club that can cater to these needs.
Teaching them how to greet someone, because this will help them to form good relationships and it is nice to say hello to a person and asking how they are feeling, and be interested in other people thoughts and feelings.
Giving encouragement can help, which is important and say hello and goodbye nicely, but installing this he will say it without meaning so am installing it into him to say with meaning rather then just saying it for the sake of it.
Working on social behaviour leads to good habits, because being able to communicate properly will help him form friendships and not playing on his own, and other children making the effort to make a conversation. At the moment he will often ignore a child who is trying to talk to him, and personate the train voice overs on trains and not talk to the child back, and not sure how to relate to him, so working on that.
Taking them away from screens and watching their tables or iPads, when people are visiting them at home or meeting up with other children, like his cousins, and interact. If they do use their devices, then have them share and watch something together and still have that interaction, but for a short period and then encourage other engaging activities.
Practicing good manners, when it comes to having friends around for a playdate and eating together at the table, with no distractions, that can cause them to be destructive and running around rather then sitting down and eating. I worked at a nursery on Monday, and their manners were exceptional and noone kicked off but ate nicely, and that is important. It can be a great time to talk about how their day has been and no TV but focusing on eating and with family and friends, so they can eat without having a meltdown, as there is nothing worse than when kids don’t want to sit at the table to eat, or refuse to wash their hands and be clean. Every time I ask Henry to have a shower or bath, he will protest so won’t do anything else until he has been cleaned and saying thank you and please. This will encourage good communication practices in children. It all about being able to when they are older to communicate with others and get along with other people and showing respect.
I hope you don’t feel like you aren’t doing things right, because we all parent differently and I am no child specialist but a parent who has faced many challenges since becoming a mum and want to share these blogs to help, and what I have learned so far.
When Henry was a baby it took us about 5 months to find a good routine, but now he is older he lives by routine and hates change.
Get dressed together: Rather than getting one child dressed one at a time, have them all get dressed and have their older siblings help them and put some music on to create a calm atmosphere and do some activities in the morning to help boost their energy.
It is important to have breakfast and again, have all your children have breakfast together and help clean away the breakfast items and they help wash their bowls to put in the dishwasher, and ready to leave for school. Oh and make sure they have made their beds, packed their bags and have their bags together by the front door.
Have a meal together: I talk about this a lot but is important. My son when we spend the weekend together will have breakfast, lunch and dinner together because we don’t get a chance in the week and its just nice to add this in and for me it is family time.
Make sure they help once again with cleaning and drying the dishes, if you don’t have a dishwasher and have them help with tidying by making sure the items already dried and cleaned are put away. Oh and have them set the table for the meal and rotate it so they get to do different chores.
Have your kids cook a meal: last weekend my son made a vegetable soup and had some for his lunch and dinner on Monday as I travel to his dads house to wait for him to return to school, and so I make his dinner before his dad comes home and so cooking for me essential to help with their independence, you might like to read this blog too where I talk more about: Helping our kids to be healthy and independent
If they are tiny still of course this doesn’t apply to you, but tips for when they get bigger and if they show interest in food, try baby led weaning. if they are able to sit up, but if you not sure chat with your health advisor or doctor. Henry found this tricky so we just did small amount of food at first to help his body get used to food and started off with baby rice, and got into a routine of giving food at first in the morning and then slowly added more food through the day.
Laundry: When Henry has finished school I will have him take his uniform off and into some casual clothes and check it to see if they need to be washed. I am trying to teach him to fold his clothes, as he will take them off and if they are dirty I will ask him to put them into the washing machine. The next stage I want to help him with, is how to work a washing machine. That will come though, and with encourage and perseverance I know he will get it.
Teaching kids to tidy their clothes and fold them will be good for their motor skills and value their belongings and once he changes then we will play, unless he has homework, as we get this done first before we play. Oh and keep washing detergent out of reach, but helping them put it into to the washing machine ball, to put into the machine, and will help them understand what the detergent and the washing machine is for and always supervise. You may like to read this blog: Getting your kids to be more independent
Getting ready for bed: As Henry has grown he has gone to bed later, so now he will go to bed between half eight to half nine. Often he has asked if he can go to bed, as when they first begin school it can be tiring, and was hard to keep him awake and often when we would pick him up from school he would be a sleep.
So having a good bedtime routine is important for you and your children, and I will let my son wind down slowly because he has so much energy, and so once he has done his homework and changed, we play, before he has his dinner and his dad will do a bit of learning with him, like reading a book and when he stays with me, will now allow no watching his tablet after a certain time, and rest and watch some TV but he has had wash, bath or shower to relax and have quiet time. Then I will read to him and then it is bed time and I will do some writing and or watching youtube on my computer then I will read my book and then it is bedtime for me.
When a child has Autism they like to know what is going to happen and it also helps my son’s ADHD and work in blocks of time to make sure they have gotten to school on time and don’t have a meltdown. It helps them to look after themselves more because getting their bag ready is important and be a natural routine, whereby they don’t have to be told, but do it without a word being spoken.
So I hope that you have a good weekend and more blogs to come.
Today Sunday the 12th March 2023 my son, made his own and first Vegetable soup, and ate it. As a baby I would give him vegetable and fruit Purees, but as he has grown and with encouragement will eat them.
The homework for my son this weekend was to make a soup and so he chopped up the ingredients needed, helped stir and add the other ingredients, then helped blend them and chopped up the herbs, and it was really tasty. He has begun doing DT at school, and the soup was really good and didn’t make a fuss in eating it.
This inspired me to write this blog, because it was a success, when sometimes it is not.
The key thing to do is to involve in the whole process. We, my mum and I took him shopping and helped us looking for the ingredients, and then made the meal, and we had for lunch.
Kids like to be responsible, and they like it when they can be involved in doing things like cooking and baking. It helps them to understand about food and trying different things. This means even when they are fussy as children’s taste-buds change. I have been guilty of giving him easy meals like fish and chips, burger beans, but now he is learning about food and he is starting to learn what is healthy and what is not, and slowly his feelings on fruit and vegetables has changed, and he will eat them. Start with just a little bit at a time, and mix the veg a bit of potato is they like them, and just a little bit can make all the difference and their willingness when it comes to vegetables.
I do like a biscuit and so does he, but I want to slowly change that and no longer use food as a bribe it can lead to it being a normal habit which I don’t want, but I feel bad in saying no.
However I am no going to deprive him or me, but not eating things like biscuits all of the time. However with Henry enjoying his soup is a good turning point and get us both back on track when it comes to food.
Our kids being healthy is important, and the one thing I don’t ever encourage is fizzy drinks. I never used to drink these as a kid I found them to gassy, and I drink them now, but my son hasn’t and feel good in that. He will drink manly water or milk.
You don’t have to be super strict and not make dinner time a song or a dance, as we say in England, but encouragement and teaching kids about cooking is a great start in getting our kids to be a lot more healthy.
This also saves money on meals because you can save soup and freeze to having it on another day and got some for my lunch tomorrow and my son has some for his dinner tomorrow, so GET OUR KIDS COOKING. a really good skill that will last a lifetime, and help to make them independent.
What has inspired me to write this blog, was watching and listening to a podcast by Giovanna Fletcher, which is called Happy Mum Happy Baby: https://www.giovannafletcher.com/podcasts/series-eight and she asks this as one of questions, and it got me thinking. To me its the whole experience from carry a child to watching them grow into little people and building their dreams and aspirations.
I waited quite late at 35 when I became pregnant with my son and he wasn’t planned, but I have always been maternal, and knew I wanted to have kids one day. As a kid I loved looking after other children, and babysitting for friends. I didn’t mean to become pregnant at that age, but it was how it panned out and in my twenties was out with friends a lot, and for me I had to have that time before I began thinking about having a child.
So what does it mean to you…?
We need to appreciate that every parents story is different, and its finding yourself and what is important to you.
Fill in the gap and write down what it means to you.
This is not to make you feel that you’ve been doing a bad job in anyway, but bonding and building a healthy relationship and giving them support whenever they need support with to me is whats important.
It isn’t about about changing 55 nappies in one day, but what it has taught you. I have learned a lot being a mum, like what I show my son, because he will copy so I need to set a good example, like not swearing, having a tantrum of my own and having fun. Focusing on one thing at a time and respecting my son, and his needs.
I love it when my son and I go on walks and travel with each other, visiting different places and playing football or rugby.
Every mum will probably say different things and that is fine I respect all mums out there along with fathers, but as women I feel we don’t give ourselves enough credit.
For me it is little moments, like I love it when my son and I play darts because we laugh so much, because my maths is terrible, and thank to the person who created calculators, to do the scoring,but even that I get confused, but being able to laugh at our flaws being a mum, showing your kids of who you are and having boundaries, is what is top of the list when it comes to What it means to me.
We often forget our own care and that for me is top of the list too, and whenever you can have a break to having coffee or a cup of tea, take up the opportunity its not that we need to stop caring for our children, but giving us some me time, and since being a mum time as a I said before in my blog, is precious.
My son has made it clear to me that he doesn’t like me looking at my phone all of the time and be present with him, and I will take myself away from social media and give him the attention he needs.
Kids need there space and time away from us, so in holidays he will spend a couple of days at a holiday club that is local and loves being around other kids and be away from me, and my mum and step dad will look after him too, as weekends we spend in Wimbledon where they live and have some space, and see different faces and people.
So lets work together in bringing the next generation in the world, of course if you want children, and respect us as women and what being a women means.
I have written EBooks on parenting on Amazon.co.uk and I write under the names of Carrie Challoner, Carrie Lee Holmes and Carrie Holmes.
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Before I begin I would like to say a big thank you for those who have read my blogs, and liking my content and following me. If this is the first visit of my blog then welcome. I talk about different topics that you never get told and that I have learned since being a parent. I have a 9 year old son Henry and he lives with his dad and me. His dad’s home is in Surrey and I live in South West London.
I also write books, and written books on parenting, so if you’d like to check them out then you can on Amazon.co.uk and I write under the names Carrie Challoner, Carrie Lee Holmes and Carrie Holmes.
I will be updating this book as when I wrote the book I had baby brain and so some of the dates regarding his birth needs changing, but it like a fly on the wall book where I write like in diary form and so I hope you like it. Its available on Kindle.
In this blog I am talking about Building your children’s personal development. It is so important for our kids to be independent and find their way into the world, and will need many skills to learn that will help their future. Such as reading, writing, listening, talking and memory, getting dressed, going to the toilet and sleeping, that it can be overwhelming for you and for your kids.
So start with taking each step as they develop and if they are interested in a book, allow them to sit with the book and flip through. hardback, Fabric books are good for their senses. It would be books like “That’s no mine…”, as they have pictures with different textures of fabric inside, and pop up books that will make them laugh and you want to build their interaction so its good not just reading, but talking about each book they love, as their awareness develops.
Today my son read the first chapter of Horrid Henry and Partly of Billy Goats Gruff. He has develop delay but he can read really well, its just that he doesn’t always show what he can do and that makes it hard when it comes to school because at the moment the books he is reading at school aren’t challenging enough. Kids, like my son tends to hide a lot of what skills they have, so the learning they do at home, will help them when they go to school, because they will perform more at home sometimes compared to school.
Logging their learning into their school diary of what they have done at home, can help the teachers see that he can read a entire paragraph that he won’t show at school. I know many will say, what about home learning full time, but because he is on the Autism Spectrum he needs that social part of school, and he loves being with other kids.
He enjoys school its just he will hold back a lot and so what you can do at home can make a difference, even if it is 10 minutes of the day.
The same with writing. They will build these skills as they read, and using activity books from stores like Whsmiths can be good to start with along with drawing and helping them make associations with words and writing them down.
Fitting in this has been tricky, so want to do more and can write numbers now and small words, and doing a bit each week or day, is good to help them. Henry is often a bit reluctant to write, but we just do a bit for ten minutes, with a reward helps him be happy about it, and that is where books comes in. It can really be a reward itself for them aswell as a bit of chocolate or a toy that the want to play with.
My youngest niece loves writing and writing stories. Not all kids want to do it, and it can be because they may be dyslexic, so something to consider, not to worry as many successful people have this difficulty like Richard Branson. With my son is because he has ADHD and loves physically learning like he loves sport and trains, and he loved buses and so I made him a book about buses and used this to encourage him to write.
This can lead to listening, and something that my son has trouble with, but is getting better, by giving him encouragement and having structure. If we are watching something we want to watch and not him, we will explain to him first, by saying “Right this programme on now, so we want to be quiet” and quiet time is a good habit especially before bed time, and this leads to an important habit and skill, sleeping.
Sleeping can be hard and I as mum has reminded as I have grown of how much I was a nightmare when it came to sleep as I have always has struggles. This stemmed from when I was a kid and we lived on the ground floor in a housing estate and kept playing visions in my mind of somebody trying to break into my room. I know my mum would be shaking her head, because since a baby before we lived on the ground floor I didn’t sleep, but was an influence I would say.
Having a bedtime routine will help and yes I know you have heard that, but my child still doesn’t sleep well, speak with your health visitor or doctor as they can help. With Henry he has always been good, until he started to grow and often will moan about going to bed now, as he loves being awake and being on the go all the time, wanting to play and watch his tablet but we now don’t have him watch it before bed as it can cause problems with sleep which I did argue against, but has made a difference and now he doesn’t always awake around 5am,. as he sleeps well but wakes up early.
When it comes with talking, my son loves to talk, but this is why he is on the Autism Spectrum because he has Social communication problems, and so will repeat the speaking on trains, example: “Mind the Gap between the train and a platform” but not engage in conversation. He is getting better and so we are trying to stop this especially if there are other children or adults trying to have a chat with him.
He is a social boy, which I know may be contradiction, but he loves other children and will say hello but won’t always engage, like other children. He will stay sentences now, not always in the right dialect, so we will correct him, not angrily or to make him feel bad, but in a way that he says the sentence in the correct dialect.
Kids learn from repetition and where reading can help, and doing speech therapy is great way to help with talking and speaking to others.
Then there is memory and that is where memory comes in. If you keep on showing how to fold a top, they will copy. The more they say sentences in the right context, the more they will continue. Henry’s memory is second to none and remembers when he hurt his head at school and that was 5 years ago, and when I moaned about Boots (a local pharmacy store in the UK) not having birthday gift cards and only had Christmas and so it is little things like that, where its like. Wow you remembered that? And he knew from as soon as he would walk where the park was.
Building memory is a simple as taking the same route to the park so they get to know where they are going and Henry liked when we would walk to school, would want to walk the same route and often I will go through the street names, to help him, and it has helped us to bond and build our relationship with each other, because kids like to be shown things like street names, and counting house numbers to identify numbers.
Henry though, won’t always show this skill, memory and say he doesn’t know but we know he does it appears that he holds his skills back. I have learned a new method to help him by saying, “Sorry can you do that again?” or Can you say that again” and will as we go through it say the answer to something or a sentence that he knows and will show he knows. He just need prompting.
This skill was watching Youtube of a couple called Phil and Alex, and they have two adopted children and a biological child. If they read this blog. Thank you.
Playing games like Dino Duo, Check that out, is a good way to help with memory and there are different games you can play with these cards. (This is not sponsored), it is a game my son and I play a lot and he beats me every time. Card games are brilliant for memory. It help with counting and remember symbols and images.
When it comes to getting dressed, I will leave the clothes out for him and he puts them up. He can do it my son, but can be lazy. They have to do it for themselves to be independent and so its taking a step back as a parent and allow them to figure it out. If my son gets stuck I will offer support but say, “Turn around the other way” for example, when my son puts on a top. He now because I reward him with a high 5 or a cuddle knows when he has put his top on, that he done a good thing.
That is a tip I’d give, celebrate and seeing it as a win
It is a accomplishment and praise goes a long way.
Then there is toilet training. This has been a challenge, and he will still leave it to the last minute and can be frustrated because he is trained he just puts play at the top of his choices but I have had to install that if he does he won’t be able to play, because if we are out means we will have to go home.
He still has struggles when it comes to using the toilet but he is getting better because he I hope this isn’t TMI, in wiping his bottom. He can do it and tries but still have difficulties, but again with all other skills encouragement goes a long way and I don’t make it a big deal its more like “Go and call me if you need help” and he does and this helps with sleep too that he is to go and not wait.
I have put together a board of some of my blogs on Pinterest and so check them out, and there are more blogs to come.
I also have a Youtube channel for more content, which is all about my life as a mum, writer, doing chat videos, Reset videos, hauls and days in a life:
So it is the World Book Week, where our kids will be dressing up to represent characters in the books they love and for my son, his school theme was, that they had to be a word, and so my son went as sporty.
I know easy choice and not much effect but it had to be something he knows, and he loves his sport. I got him a tracksuit from Sports Direct and was last minute, as I don’t allow myself time, and each year when it comes around make an agreement that II will make it a goal to plan more far ahead, but no, like Christmas cards, yes sorry to mention this only being March, but the speed of the year it may be tomorrow before I know it, but last year gone still didn’t get round to doing any Christmas cards, and so yes was a mad rush, and he seemed to not dismiss it as when we were looking for an outfit (his dad and I) he was moaning, because we were looking for a jumper or jacket, but he hates hoods, so bought a tracksuit that had no hood and was in sale and was last resort.
My son is not keen on dressing up, when I bought him a tiger outfit a couple of years ago as he loved the book “The Tiger who came to tea” it lasted on him for about 5 minutes and when I picked him up, it was in a bag and glad we remembered to put spare clothes underneath and in his bag, and so it is tricky to find an outfit he would actually wear.
My mum when we would go to a holiday camp would enter us in, me and my brother in fancy dress competitions and my mum made my brother a Robin Hood outfit with Tissue paper, whilst my nan made mine out of trousers, and top, and put bells on the bottom as I was a belly dancer I think, and my brother won, so if you are into sewing then this is tip, but if not tissue paper can be a good option.
If it is a onesie and your child likes wearing these then you can be still worn at night time rather than a dressing gown. Today (not showing any pictures) my niece dressed up as a character for Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and it was fantastic and my sister in-law used a pair of shorts she had and a brownish tops and the make up or could have been face paint was so good. Honestly put me to shame.
Books are good for kids because it helps with communication and with writing and understanding grammar. My son still being 9 likes a book to be read to him, but not always keen to do itself, but we have him read, because he has needed help with his communication. Its not that he can’t do it, its more because he not always saying sentences in the right dialect.
So I hope your kids enjoy it and if you are teacher that you dressed up too and now it is next year. I hope I am more organized.
The parenting adventures 