encouraging good behaviours | The parenting adventures

It can be tricky waiting for a bus and your child gets bored waiting, or they want to sit in specific seat on the bus, and seen parents fight with their kids on the bus like me and it when someone helps it can be like “We need more people like you” but you can also get those who can see that you are trying your best to keep your child entertained and not kick off, but give you dirty looks and at the moment I want to say “I want compassion not a dirty look, and help”, but you are always gonna get people like that, so what do you do?

At first it can be overwhelming and you just want the ground to swallow you up, when our kids kick off, so for me I will stop and crouch down and make sure he is looking at me and I will give him an ultimatum and that is not threatening in anyway but just explain if they get on the bus and show you how to behave when in public, he will be rewarded when my son does something good, and this can be watching a film they like and use their tablet or play football.

My son this weekend nearly knocked a woman in the street on his scooter so I took it from him and apologised to the lady and if he wants his scooter then he needs to learn about respect and that pavements and parks are for all, not just for my son to ride on his scooter, and look where he is going.

You do have to be tough with children at times for them to learn what is the correct way to behave, all of the time especially when it comes to visiting public places and not to run around shops and give them responsibilities. Like carrying the basket, finding items and pay.

Before you go out explain to them how you want them to behave and be in charge of looking after another child with you, or find where we have to go. I want my son to have good manners and practice common courtesy.

Kids do have the right to say they are not happy, and their needs are met, but not to take life for granted and be thankful, and if they want to go on trips then they need to learn what is acceptable behaviour and what is not.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

I often wish I could see inside my sons mind, as it would be great to understand his thoughts and fears, as it is hard to tell at times. When I was a kid I found school tough and I did feel detached from the other children and felt I didn’t fit in, and I always feared wanting to be a mum one day, that a child of mine would experience the same.

My son is a much more sociable than me, he still learning about boundaries, because he can get right into other children’s faces, but will say hello to other children without thinking about it and he loves to play and interacting with other kids, but the issue he is having at school at the moment, when he is learning he gets easily distracted by other kids in his class. He struggles with taking turns so helping to support that by stopping the play and go over this issue and remind that playing sports you have to make it fair. I wish I knew the real reason to this, but in observing I think it could because he feels failure and that only he can win, because if not, it means he is in adequate. which he is not.

When children feel separated from other children it can affect them how they get along at school and I always felt different, and doubted my ability in making friends and this has affected my worry of Henry wanting to play in other kids children games that he hasn’t met before, in case they don’t understand him and doesn’t know their games not understanding them, so feel detached.

I never want Henry to feel like that, but you can’t prevent their feelings all the time because they have their own emotions and will have challenges, that is how we all grow and learn.

Stepping back is one tip, and something I have been working on as my son’s parent so he starts to catch up on his development, and learn to form friends by continuing to not get to close to other children and learn to play nicely, and not getting upset when playing sports with other kids. It is good for kids to be competitive, but being respectful too, to the apposing team. One of my goals for Henry is to join a sport clubs, as I think this will help, but its finding a club that can cater to these needs.

Teaching them how to greet someone, because this will help them to form good relationships and it is nice to say hello to a person and asking how they are feeling, and be interested in other people thoughts and feelings.

Giving encouragement can help, which is important and say hello and goodbye nicely, but installing this he will say it without meaning so am installing it into him to say with meaning rather then just saying it for the sake of it.

Working on social behaviour leads to good habits, because being able to communicate properly will help him form friendships and not playing on his own, and other children making the effort to make a conversation. At the moment he will often ignore a child who is trying to talk to him, and personate the train voice overs on trains and not talk to the child back, and not sure how to relate to him, so working on that.

Taking them away from screens and watching their tables or iPads, when people are visiting them at home or meeting up with other children, like his cousins, and interact. If they do use their devices, then have them share and watch something together and still have that interaction, but for a short period and then encourage other engaging activities.

Practicing good manners, when it comes to having friends around for a playdate and eating together at the table, with no distractions, that can cause them to be destructive and running around rather then sitting down and eating. I worked at a nursery on Monday, and their manners were exceptional and noone kicked off but ate nicely, and that is important. It can be a great time to talk about how their day has been and no TV but focusing on eating and with family and friends, so they can eat without having a meltdown, as there is nothing worse than when kids don’t want to sit at the table to eat, or refuse to wash their hands and be clean. Every time I ask Henry to have a shower or bath, he will protest so won’t do anything else until he has been cleaned and saying thank you and please. This will encourage good communication practices in children. It all about being able to when they are older to communicate with others and get along with other people and showing respect.

I hope you don’t feel like you aren’t doing things right, because we all parent differently and I am no child specialist but a parent who has faced many challenges since becoming a mum and want to share these blogs to help, and what I have learned so far.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X