Category Archives: Seasonal celebrations

Doing homework during the school summer holidays

Hi and welcome to a new blogpost! So now my son is off for the summer holidays, until September, and to help with his learning his school has given us some printables of activities to do during the holidays (see below an example) and this maths book he has to work through.

To get kids to do their homework I have found having a structured day even during the school holidays to be more effective than doing it at random times, because I find Henry is a lot more willing to do school work in the mornings after a good nights sleep rather than in the afternoon or evening.

I have also found doing a bit each time to be a lot more effective and breaking it down into little chucks, because Henry does have ADHD and works better when he has a small amount to do, than doing say half an hours worth.

Try and set a time for when you want them to do some school work, by setting a timer with no TV or android devices as with my son he can get easily distracted with these on. So I take these away do the homework and then my son is allowed to watch some TV or his tablet afterwards as a reward.

There is brilliant website called Oak School and is a great online service that has teachers for different levels to help kids with different subjects and would totally recommend it for online learning.

If it is easier and the sun is out, why not set up a homework area in the garden so they get to be outdoors and learn at the same time.

Here are some really good books we have that have really helped with my sons reading.

My son loves these books and has quite a collection and are created for different levels of learning.

Use outdoor things to help with their learning, example my son loves buses so we will look at the many different buses and we go through what their numbers are and where they travel to and from.

We have recently bought Henry a watch to help him learn about time  and the other day he pointed at the clock and knew when it was  8 O’Clock.

Then today we were going through different door numbers as we walked to the park, as yesterday we took him to the seaside to see my Auntie and she had this talking parrot which repeated everything you said and he loved it, so took him to the toy shop to find one but they didn’t have one, so I bought him skateboard instead because he was fascinated by the skateboarders we saw when we took him to the South Bank in the week.

Teaching them about the different time zones if you are travelling abroad and seasons so they learn about the nights being lighter for longer and it becoming dark early in the winter.

There is so much you can do to help them with their learning, to the point where like my son did today asked if he can do some maths or reading.

When they start to begin to ask to do some work you know you are on the road to a winner.

Many thanks for reading,

 

Carrie X

 

Teaching kids to read

Reading Books For Kids Clipart

Hello and welcome to another blog. Today I am talking about Teaching Kids to Read, because I think it an important skill to teach.

They need to learn to read for their own wellbeing, and so it is important children read 3-4 times a week, to understand words and their meaning.

  • Henry loves a good book and so do I. To begin try simple stories and rhymes, and books with just pictures without the words, and go over what they think is happening in each picture.

The one thing reading a book used to do, was calm Henry down, because when he was younger would often be quite grumpy after his nap in the afternoon, and it took reading a book calmly and softly, with music, to calmed him, and he would be happy again.

  • One way of getting Henry to identify words with sounds and pictures, was by using flashcards aswell as books.

Learning a word is one thing, but knowing what it means is another.

Henry knew from me reading to him what simple words like “Lunch” meant “Come here”, and getting him to read from an early age has really made huge difference. I find it helps with pronunciation, writing and they becoming more engaging.

  • Practicing reading by using Phonics books. Henry’s school has provided him with a couple of these books and what they do is help with the sound of the word.

Example: C__U__P

  • Use wall charts with words, letters, numbers and pictures. Great investment and Henry uses these a lot when learning at home, to help identify words and what they mean.

Please check this link for an example:

The one thing Henry would do is jump words in sentences so the next tip is,

  • Get them to say a sentence which they are stuck on a few times before moving on, and break it down for them. Doing the phonic books are great for this and then they will become fluent in reading those books
  • Let them choose a story from their collection, and to help do a silly voice or accent to help keep them engaged and get them to read a few larger sentences in the book aswell
  • Invest in a Easel a great tool to put up words, and the one thing we did was practice a word a day, and what it meant.
  • Use seasonal celebrations to help with their  reading, so read an easter book or a book about Christmas. Helps keep their momentum to read at a high, and Henry will often just pick up a book now and try and read it himself.

So I hope you are coping okay with this Lockdown, it can be boring even though yes it is important, but doing different activities like reading, can help break down the day.

Many thanks for reading,

 

Carrie X

 

 

 

 

 

A CHURCH SERVICE THAT BLEW MY MIND AND HOW DIFFERENT THIS WAS FROM WHEN I WAS AT SCHOOL

THIS IS THE SECOND BLOG OF BLOGMAS DAY 12!

I did not plan to write this, but I had to. As soon as I went into that church today I felt I needed to write about it, because it literally BLEW ME AWAY!

I am not allowed to share any videos or pictures to protect the school and children, I just wanted to tell the world how amazing it was.

As soon as I got into that church I could hear amazing singing. I thought it was from a CD that was being played, but hearing the vicar speak opened my eyes to the fact that it was in fact the children. As soon as they got into the church they sprung into song and it was like being in heaven, and what I imagine heaven to sound like, it was that good.

I remember the church services from when I was a kid, they were fun and enjoyable as I got to participate in a few, mainly Primary school, by playing the recorder, singing in the choir or even playing a part in the nativity play, but we relied on hymn sheets and books, often getting the words wrong and only a few would sing.

Looking back, now I am in my 40’s being at the school church services were important to me. Even after I had my heart operation as a child, I have a hole in the heart, I still made sure I attended the school services especially at Christmas. I remember feeling sad and disappointed for not being part of it that year and couldn’t wait to join in again. It was the year where I finally got the part I wanted. To be the Shepherd, I have no idea why, but I did and so when I couldn’t take part that year I remember feeling like I had “Lost my chance”.

I remember having the hymn book often being on the wrong page and not knowing all the words, and miming because I was often too self conscious to sing out loud, but today it was so different.

At Henry’s school church service today it was all about the children, which school should be about, because school wouldn’t be a school without them, and they took charge of that service today. The vicar did say a few words and read a sermon, but most of it was about the children, and when they sang and had the words of the songs on the TV screens, and watching and observing the children I was totally amazed. Not one of them had looked at those screens and still sang the songs like they had been singing them all their lives and for years, and it touched me from my head to my toes and I had to at one point hold back the tears.

It BLEW ME AWAY and beat Songs of Praise out of the window. After seeing this and being there today, I thought afterwards they should do a school songs of Praise or even be in the charts. I could have listened to these children all day long, it was so wonderful and magical, that all the unhappiness I felt today, as yesterday did not go well for me at all, completely disappeared.

It also made me see that my own prayers were answered today. I understand that everyone has different beliefs, but I do think especially after today that there is someone out there looking after us all, including me.

I couldn’t find my son’s reins this morning and last night. I looked everywhere and was panicking slightly. However I had to admit defeat “They were gone” so I thought okay, I am off today and free, so I’ll go with him. I am so glad I did and I can’t help think that this was fate, as far as I am concerned and God or someone had my back, because if I had found those reins I would not have seen that today and I did.

I think it was someone showing me that however tough yesterday was or this morning was “You are going to be fine and there are still some wonderful things that can make you happy in this world” and often it is something out of the blue, or right on your doorstep.

I am even going to email the school to tell them because I want to let them know that those children were ASTONISHINGLY BRILLIANT AND TRULY OUT OF THIS WORLD!

The other thing was, they had the older children help the younger children by holding hands to and from the church. What a lesson that is to them, and they will gain so much from that, that I am not sure that even the teachers, helpers or parents even know how much this is a massive life lesson to them. They are going to benefit so much from that. They would have never dreamed of doing this at my Primary school. When I was a kid I was bullied by the older kids and they had to separate the older children from the younger ones, and keep the gates locked and I dreaded some of the days at school.

Henry loves going to school and the kids are so respectful, even when some of the older children jumped ahead, as soon as a teacher told them to come back, they did without arguing or kicking off and we all made it back to the school without a fuss.

So if your child has a church service this year and you have the chance to go, then after today, if it is anything like today I would say go, because you will be as astonished and blown away like I was today.

If you would like to see my previous post for today, then please visit the site via this link below:

https://everydaylivingandlifestyle.wordpress.com/

You can also check out my other sites too for posts this year:

https://www.carriesrealworld.com/

https://everyonecanbuildacastle.com/

https://theparentingadventuresthebirthofmyson.wordpress.com

https://sportsandfitnesspassion.wordpress.com/

If you have stories of your child’s church service then please share if you wish.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

P.S: Links to my Pinterest and social media sites are below, where you can find more posts and pictures from my blogs.

Pinterest:

https://www.pinterest.co.uk/carriesrealworl/

Social media:

https://www.instagram.com/cazzasrealworld/?hl=en

https://www.facebook.com/carriesrealworld

https://www.facebook.com/Carries-Everyday-Living-and-lifestyle-261704010959953/

https://www.facebook.com/czavonuk/

Twitter

https://twitter.com/carrie82434764

Watch “I’m A Stay-At-Home Mom…Again! || Mayim Bialik” on YouTube! Blogmas day 14!

HELLO AND WELCOME TO ANOTHER BLOG, IT IS BLOGMAS DAY 14!

If you are a “Stay At-Home-mum” or have been like I was 6 years ago when I first had Henry then you’ll know that it can be hard at times, whilst your husbands at work and you have to go it alone.

However if you watch this video below it will remind you how fast they grow. There will come a point when they won’t need you so much, because they become independent and so will not call you so much.

If you were born in the 80’s and the 90’s you may remember a US sitcom called Blossom and also since then has been in the Big Bang Theory.

She does great content on Youtube and I will be sharing more of her videos especially on parenting because I have found them to be really helpful and useful.

It is the wonderful Mayim Bialik, please see her video below:

So if you have any stories you would like to share of being a Stay At Home mum then please share if you wish, you can comment below. 

I will be blogging some more so make sure you watch out and if you like my content then give us a shout.

You can also follow me by clicking below staying up to date with everything that I write and show.

Please see links below of my sites and more will be coming to soon, so keep reading and thank you so far who have given my blogs a like.

https://www.carriesrealworld.com/

https://everyonecanbuildacastle.com/

https://everydaylivingandlifestyle.wordpress.com/

https://theparentingadventuresthebirthofmyson.wordpress.com

https://sportsandfitnesspassion.wordpress.com/

Have a great weekend and many thanks for reading,

 

Carrie X

P.S: All my posts will also be on my Pinterest and my social media sites too.

Pinterest:

https://www.pinterest.co.uk/carriesrealworl/

 

Social media:

https://www.instagram.com/cazzasrealworld/?hl=en

https://www.facebook.com/carriesrealworld

https://www.facebook.com/Carries-Everyday-Living-and-lifestyle-261704010959953/

https://www.facebook.com/czavonuk/

 

Twitter

https://twitter.com/carrie8243476

 

Watch “I don’t like being a mom” on YouTube! BLOGMAS DAY 9 blog 2. ITS OKAY!

HELLO AND WELCOME TO BLOGMAS DAY 9! ALL MY BLOGMAS POSTS CAN BE FOUND HERE IF YOU WANTED TO CATCH UP AND READ THESE ASWELL, IF YOU HAVEN’T ALREADY IN THE LINK BELOW!

https://www.carriesrealworld.com 

I have had the following video in my drafts for a while because it hit “INSTANTLY” as soon as I saw the title “SPEAK OUT TO ME” and  I was really determined to today to share this, because it can challenging and true this time of the year.

Now this isn’t saying we don’t love our kids, we do, but there are times when they can be A NIGHTMARE and play up, moan because they don’t want to sit and eat their Christmas dinner and there are many things that people often won’t say, but what others are thinking because it may be misinterpreted, and no matter how much you try to avoid kids from arguing and kicking off, they try to do it.

KIDS WITHOUT BEING TAUGHT CAN PICK UP ON HOW TO PRESS SIBLINGS AND PARENTS BUTTONS TO CAUSE UPSET AND TEARS AND WHEN THEY DO, ITS NOT NICE!

So I wanted to share this video because of this and to show that these feelings are COMPLETELY NORMAL AND IT IS OKAY, WE STILL LOVE OUR KIDS EVERYDAY BUT NOT NECESSARILY IN EVERY WAY!

Image result for free images kids screaming

Check out the video below by Jessica Hover, and she does brilliant videos for parents and subjects that are not always mentioned but they do exist.

She is sharing about why “I don’t like being a mom”.

 

Our children if you show them aswell as tell them, know that you love them, but I do think about the life I once had. Pre-child  I would go to rugby with my friends and be able to stay out without worrying about being back to do bath time or be awake in time the next day for the school run, they were fun times and I do miss them.

Image result for free FUNNY CARTOON images OF PEOPLE HAVING A DRINK

This doesn’t mean I don’t love being with my son, I do, but when they won’t allow you to chat on the phone without them shouting down it or try to grab it from you, those are the moment I don’t enjoy.

ALL JOBS LIKE PARENTHOOD COMES WITH THINGS WE DON’T LIKE AND THAT’S A FACT.

This doesn’t mean I like my child any less, I don’t always like the work or the pooh explosions or the pinch scars, because my son couldn’t watch his TV programme, ITS HUMAN NATURE!

I don’t like everything about blogging, but I enjoy creating the content, I do get a buzz from when I see someone new following me on my blogs, but I don’t always like blogging because of editing and proof reading, I find it tedious.

Image result for free FUNNY CARTOON images OF someone falling asleep at the computer

 

I still love to blog because I love to share tips and tricks to support and inspire others, but that bit of the work I don’t enjoy. THAT’S OKAY!

So I hope that helps you if you feel like “I don’t like being a mum” but feel guilty for feeling that way, DON’T ITS OKAY, YOUR HUMAN AFTER ALL. Our kids don’t always like us, hence why they will kick off in a supermarket or when having a coffee, but when they give you cuddles or you sit and watch a Christmas film you both love and have a hot chocolate without no tears and tantrums, parenting can still be fun and you can still enjoy your children.

I wrote a blog yesterday which can relate to this blog, as I do find this lady empowering and inspiring and you can Use empowerment and inspiration when its just not your day, see below for details:

https://everyonecanbuildacastle.com/2019/12/08/using-empowerment-and-inspiration-when-its-just-not-your-day/

So I hope that this blog has helped you and I will be sharing more as we continue through to Christmas day, for Blogmas.

Check out my other sites below for recent blogmas posts:

https://everydaylivingandlifestyle.wordpress.com/

https://theparentingadventurestipsandtricks.wordpress.com/

https://theparentingadventuresthebirthofmyson.wordpress.com

https://sportsandfitnesspassion.wordpress.com/

Many thanks for reading,

 

Carrie X

P.S: You can also find my posts on my Pinterest and social media pages below too:

Pinterest:

https://www.pinterest.co.uk/carriesrealworl/

 

Social media:

https://www.instagram.com/cazzasrealworld/?hl=en

https://www.facebook.com/carriesrealworld

https://www.facebook.com/Carries-Everyday-Living-and-lifestyle-261704010959953/

https://www.facebook.com/czavonuk/

 

Twitter

https://twitter.com/carrie82434764

Telling our kids little white lies/keep the fantasy of Christmas alive

BLOGMAS DAY 9!

We tell our kids not to lie, yet we lie to our kids every year.

I was inspired by a friend who said exactly this on Facebook, because she was confused as a child at Christmas because like I was told, NEVER TO LIE BECAUSE IT IS WRONG, we lie to our kids every year around this time.

The story behind Father Christmas came from a man some years and years ago, called St Nicholas who wanted to give children gifts in his local neighbourhood, but it still came from someones imagination and fantasy, to develop the story of Christmas and make Santa the man he is today.

HE IS THE ONLY CHARACTER ASWELL AS THE TOOTH FAIRY, WHO CAN GET AWAY WITH BREAKING INTO FAMILY HOMES AT NIGHT, HAVE FREE MILK OR PERHAPS A GLASS OF SHERRY AND A MINCE PIE, LEAVES GIFTS, HAS A SET OF REINDEER ON THE ROOF AND ONLY WORKS ONE TIME OF THE YEAR!

GOOD OLD SANTA CLAUS IS LIVING THE LIFE!

Here is a great video on Youtube that you can share with your children, sharing The Story of Santa Claus.

Keeping the fantasy of Christmas alive is a great way to help our children with many skills and encourage them to learn as they have fun:

  • Helps use their brain and imagination to create good and positive things, and everlasting memories
  • This in turn can help with their writing skills and concentration
  • Learn life skills by helping with the Christmas food, errands and tiding
  • To give to others less fortunate than them, and share their love and learn about love
  • Reading and making new discoveries
  • Taking turns, thinking, making good choices and working as a team, when playing festive games or sharing toys, building Lego for example
  • Social skills and having lots and lots of fun

We mustn’t forget even if you are not religious the real truth behind why we celebrate Christmas and what it is about, so they can make up their own mind if they wish to believe it or not.

If you don’t want to give them a bible then tell them briefly:

“It started a long time ago before you were born, a little boy called Jesus was born in Bethlehem and were given gifts by three kings and was the son of God.

There are many illustrations now that has information about the real story of Christmas, see link:

http://www.freebibleimages.org/illustrations/christmas-jesus-birth

The one thing that has worn thin with my son and from saying it to other children,

“If you are not good Santa won’t be coming this year”.

My niece even gave me a look as to say:

Image result for free images the words f**k you

Without even saying a word.

They no for a fact that this isn’t going to happen, because REALLY! ARE YOU GOING TO NOT LET THAT CHILD OPEN A GIFT WHEN THEIR SIBLING IS? CAUSE NOT, WHY? BECAUSE GUILT SETS IN AND OF COURSE ITS CHRISTMAS A TIME OF GOODNESS AND CHEER, NOT MATTER WHAT THEY HAVE DONE!

Learning the triggers of a tantrum can help detonate them and stop them.
Triggers:

  • Crossed arms
  • Look of defiance
  • Straight wide open eyes
  • Selective hearing, “Pretending that they can’t hear you when you know they can and did hear what you said but carries on as if nothing was said”
  • Turn their back
  • Stamp their feet
  • Bite their hand in frustration
  • Pull at their hair
  • Turn limp as if suddenly they body had gone floppy grounded to a halt, so even if you try to pick them up, you can’t and they are alive and well, but won’t move and inch

Detonate:

  • Grab their attention immediately to something else that you know will keep them happy and you, before they can start making a fuss. I do this when out and having a coffee if there is a dog for example as often Henry won’t leave them alone or want to leave the shop, I will take his hand, put his coat on at the door, go outside and instantly he has forgotten about the dog
  • Kids will often do the opposite to what you expect and you can do the same when they look like they are going to kick off. Now if Henry begins to chuck stuff around, I will not make conversation, because usually that’s what he wants and can make things worse, and then I can end up having a tantrum too, but calmly pick up the cushions, not making eye contact and continue on with what I was doing,without paying him any attention. He will then, either start to do something more constructive or come over to me looking foolish and as if to say “Why aren’t you saying anything or watching me?” and calm down. I know they say, and I have watched Super Nanny not to do this because it is ignorant parenting, but what I have learned is that kids love it AS MY SON WILL USUALLY LAUGH WHEN I HAVE DONE THIS, when you threaten to take their toy away or taken them to their room with gritted teeth, because they can see it as a signal to cause more mayhem. So when I don’t speak or make eye contact, concentrate my focus elsewhere, he will then come over to me, so he stops causing havoc so then I have gotten him to stop without saying a word, grabbed my attention, and then I will say “Have we finished? Are you ready to behave?” and then he is ready to listen and be good for the rest of the day
  • If they don’t want to take turns or they like my son did the other day when we were playing connect 4 rush trying to put a counter one by one before I have had a go, I will take it out of his hand or “STOP DEAD” and saying clearly, “I’m going to have my go and then you can go next” “Remember its my turn”. You do have to control your voice which I am trying my hardest to do, as kids will test you, but LAY DOWN THE RULES. They have to make it fair because you don’t want them being excluded by children playing games because they aren’t giving other children a chance

Christmas is a time of cheer but also a time for many kids to destroy rooms and toys, and “ANOTHER LITTLE WHITE LIE” and to help remember those Elfs you have around your home this time of the year, use them with a a sign say “BE GOOD OR I WILL BE GONE” and read it out to them so it is clear that if they aren’t good, the good old Elf will say goodbye EARLY.

Image result for free images be good for your Christmas Elf

So I hope this has helped, please make sure you check my other posts on this site and my posts on the links below, and I will blog again tomorrow:

https://www.carriesrealworld.com/

https://everyonecanbuildacastle.com/

https://everydaylivingandlifestyle.wordpress.com/

https://theparentingadventuresthebirthofmyson.wordpress.com

https://sportsandfitnesspassion.wordpress.com/

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X.

P.S: Please check out my Pinterest and social media pages:

Pinterest:

https://www.pinterest.co.uk/carriesrealworl/

Social media:

https://www.instagram.com/cazzasrealworld/?hl=en

https://www.facebook.com/carriesrealworld

https://www.facebook.com/Carries-Everyday-Living-and-lifestyle-261704010959953/

https://www.facebook.com/czavonuk/

Twitter

https://twitter.com/carrie82434764

What to do when kids try to push boundaries because they can’t have what they want! BLOGMAS DAY 6!

Hello everyone, it is Friday yay and before I start this post I just want to let you now that I have already posted a blog today for BLOGMAS DAY 6 on my main site https://www.carriesrealworld.com

If you are like me and love planners, I love a good picture or video about planners that people have shared, then you will like my blog post today on Carries Realworld about my Work Planner for 2019.

I would also like to share an article (linked below) that I came across on my WordPress news feed, and if you are blog writer too and need some inspiration for posts I would always recommend you check the news feeds that come up as they often have some great news ideas and topics that may be of interest of you.

The article below is a about how a mum who made a Sensory Cushion for her son who has Autism out of bean bags, because he would get very anxious and helps to keep him calm. Honestly truly amazing and shows how the simplest of  hacks like this can make such an impact and now will help other parents and children too, see below:

https://metro.co.uk/2019/12/06/mum-makes-budget-weighted-lap-cushion-4-bean-bags-calm-son-autism-11282232/

***

Today I wanted to write a blog about,

What to do when kids try to push boundaries because they can’t have what they want!

I know for a fact from seeing other children in my life grow up that there are many mums who have experienced these dilemmas and have been mind boggled as to what to do.

Please do not feel I am being negative about parenting because I am not. I love my son to bits but there are times when I have felt utterly helpless and want to shout “HELLO IS THERE ANYONE WHO CAN HELP ME?” and that is one reason why I wanted to write this blog.

I got the idea for this blog because my son today who is off from school because I had to pick him up from school on Wednesday because I wanted to watch something I wanted on the TV instead of him. I had been up early doing some training and whilst he was supposed to be eating his breakfast wanted to make it clear that he wanted football.

He was chucking some magnetic lightweight thankfully letters from his easel, he was jumping on me wanting to give me kisses, which I know it seems like “What how is that disruptive?” because he was literally slobbering me to the point, sorry for TMI but the point of this blog is being truthful, where I was smothered with saliva.

He thinks this is funny because I am going “Errr that’s disgusting stop” as I don’t like to shout or think he can’t express himself and if I keep telling him to stop calmly and not get angry he will stop without me getting cross. In the end the though I sternly said “I am going to watch my programme and then when I am finished then you can watch what you want”.

I MEAN HOW MANY TIMES CAN SOMEONE WATCH MATCH OF THE DAY IN ONE SITTING!

I love my football but we all need a change sometimes.

When he saw that I was making it clear and he wasn’t going to get his way, he did try for a little bit more to be disruptive by jumping and messing around chucking the cushions on our sofa. Then because he saw that I wasn’t going to give in, he eventually gave up and I was able to finish watching a full episode of The Apprentice.

Image result for free images people and children arguing

Children will try to push boundaries that’s part of how they learn what is right and what is wrong.

Nevertheless they need to know that they can’t always have what they want, when they want.

  • This in turn helps them to form good relationships with others at home and outside. After all everyone should be respected.
  • To give people time and space
  • Take turns and share

To help make them make the right choices and not push boundaries is to,

  • however much they try to be disruptive and kick off, grab the remote control or hide it they need to wait and that everyone has the right to have TV time too. For example.
  • Its not always about them. Yes kids should come first when it comes to life decisions, but at the same time you have to make it fair for everyone, yourself included.
  • Show them that playing on your own whilst mummy makes dinner can be fun too aswell as playing with others.

 

When Henry started throwing the letters from is easel when being told a few times,

  • I gave him the chance to see if he would make the correct choice by repeating and making it clear that what he was doing wasn’t good before giving him consequences of what was going to happen if he continued.

This did make him stop and think, but he continued so I followed through what I would do, which was put all the letters in the container they were in and took them all the way and this made him stop again and see that “This is what happens when you do wrong and now I have blown my fun”.

When it comes to kids pushing boundaries and getting kids to behave. You may have to repeat yourself a few times for them to grind to a halt and stop.

You do have to be strong, Henry has sometimes when he hasn’t gotten his way turned aggressive by hitting, he used to bite and pinch which I hope I am not jinking, hasn’t done any biting or pinching for ages, and he often will bite his hand in frustration.

so in following on from my first tip,

    • HOLD YOUR OWN.

That isn’t being unkind or or that they shouldn’t have any control, its so they understand that you are the parent and they need to listen and that you have rules and if they do want something they have to be respectful and kind. When they have listened and not pushed any boundaries by being disruptive then they can have a chocolate or their TV programme on.

  • Teaching patience helps them understand not to push boundaries and will again help them later on in life and building relationships with others.

 

***

During Christmas when kids are playing with their new toys, I bet you that there will be that one child if you have a houseful this Christmas will try to take a toy from another child who is happily playing in their own world and then that child who’s toy has been taken, will then begin to kick off too.

Sharing, doing joint activities where they have to take turns, is the key to getting kids to understand about boundaries because if you have 4 children for example and one child gets to play with a scooter when they other kids can’t, obviously depending on age it can cause friction and jealousy.

  • Give each kid time with each toy, and have a timer. Once the timer has gone, then it is time to swap.

To help my son at school transition from one activity to another they use this timing system and I implement this at home too.

  • If a child still continues to take a toy away from another child, let them know and what helps with me now is getting on my knees so I am eye level with Henry and say “That is not how we share and what you are going to do, is give that back and then when they are finished with that toy, then you can have a turn at playing and fun with it aswell” and encourage them to go over give the toy back by taking them to that other child and have them say “Sorry”.

If they refuse then you say “I am going to take this toy from you and give it back and you will no longer play” and this where timeout or making them be on their just for a few moment or 5 minutes or so, to let them think about what just happened.

This not only helps with boundaries but with fixing relationships too and admitting and being truthful that they were wrong in their actions. I have done the whole thing of asking “Would you like it if I took your toy away from you?” but Henry has not said the answer I want and said “Yeah”.

DOESN’T ALWAYS WORK BUT YOU CAN TRY IT AS SOME CHILDREN WILL RESPOND THESE QUESTIONS AND SAY “no”.

Boundaries can be fixed but the more they teach about when crossing a boundary is wrong the more it will help them to be the good person they want to be and in turn helps them with their wellbeing.

  • If you child does become unbearable to the point you feel that it is your fault and feel you have tried to stop him, but you have no control, don’t beat yourself up. Boundaries pushed or they have completely crossed the line, they can always be fixed and all kids at some point will try to do the same.

I have had bad reports at school and felt that I am some what to blame and felt like “I am trying but not getting it quite right” but children do make up their own minds and choices, and however much we say “Stop” or “Don’t” they will still try.

  • As said in many blogs, you have to persevere, be consistent and try to be on the same page with your school and make sure they are on the same page as you and their behaviour can be fixed.
  • Also many kids without being shown will in some way find their own way if someone else has pushed boundaries and upset them to fight back. It may be the wrong way, but its how they learn how to take control of negative behaviour towards them.

When we upset people, we can often feel upset to because we feel guilt, foolishness and “I’m such a terrible person”, “I should have done this and that” but we are only human at the end of the day and it still important that we let someone know that we aren’t happy about something.

  • If there is an argument or a a disagreement between two or more children, then stay calm and separate them into a different space and let them know what you are going to do and what is going to happen without trying to lose patience so you end up kicking off too, so then you feel bad and “A naughty child”, and allow them to think it through.

I know this may sound easier said then done, but when you take one child into their room or a corner or area, and another in another space. If you speak to them whilst they aren’t kicking off, you won’t always get a clear response and it all starts up again.

Speak to them calmly if not together one at a time and one thing I am trying not to do, is do this in front of others. The reason being I didn’t like it as a child and when an adult would shout at another adult in front of others, you can end up with them being even more disrespectful because they have now been humiliated in front of everyone and made to feel bad.

  • When telling a child off or anyone, you don’t need an audience to do it.

Go through points, example “So she wouldn’t let you play with the Barbie is that right and she called you a name? Okay” and then go through the same with the other child and then if you need time to think it through then do so. I good way of doing this is to say “Right you will both read a book or you can watch your tablets for 5-10 minutes why I help to both figure a solution”.

If you are out in the shops then you can’t always separate so you can say “Right we aren’t going to continue until this stops because you are both getting angry and this in turn is stopping me from getting bits for dinner because you are both arguing, so we aren’t going to say another word until we have finished shopping and then when we get home we can discuss it further”.

When kids are arguing someone is kicking off because they can’t have that chocolate bar it can cause embarrassment and negative thoughts to you, and then you can’t often concentrate, so getting them to focus and help you because they need to understand that this isn’t about them at the moment, helps them understand that at times a chocolate bar or a toy isn’t so important right now and its time to help me “Mummy” for example.

I never want my son to feel that he can’t say how he feels and not take control, because again it is part of how he will learn to be independent. Nevertheless when it comes down to it he needs to learn to behave properly for his own sake, not to push boundaries that will disrupt other people and upset them, and be someone as he is very sociable most of the time and very friendly, to grow as a person even further to continue to form good friendships and gain respect from others himself.

  • teach them about team work and life skills. My son loves to make his own sandwich now and because he has taken the time to make it himself. He will now eat the whole thing without a fuss and without suddenly mucking about putting jam all over the sofa and walls.
  • Team work and life skills are so important, and when they work as a team they will often make the effort to then share. Team work after all is sharing. Doing puzzles, Crafting and Cooking or even playing a sport is a great way to do that
  • it teaches children to work together effectively, communicate and support one another and learn when not to cross a boundary that will effect his relationship and morale of the team.

If they make something they are likely to respect it and take care of it better and show them images from books, flashcards or cartoons of when someone is doing something good, or “This is how we eat nicely at the table because when we don’t eat nicely or wait for people to finish their meal at the dinner table before we begin to get up, makes us all happy and then we can have some playtime afterwards”.

So I hope these tips and tricks help you and your kids to have a great Christmas without having tantrums and arguments as much as possible and I will be posting more and more in the days to come for Blogmas. There will be another post on one of my websites tomorrow, so keep checking my sites below for further details.

You can keep up to date with all my Blogs that I have and will be posting during BLOGMAS by following me on WordPress.com and carriesrealworld. Please see my other sites below:

https://everyonecanbuildacastle.com/

https://everydaylivingandlifestyle.wordpress.com/

https://theparentingadventurestipsandtricks.wordpress.com/

https://theparentingadventuresthebirthofmyson.wordpress.com

https://sportsandfitnesspassion.wordpress.com/

Many thanks for reading,

 

 

Carrie X

P.S: You can also find my posts and other information I share via Pinterest and my social media sites too:

Pinterest:

https://www.pinterest.co.uk/carriesrealworl/

 

Social media:

https://www.instagram.com/cazzasrealworld/?hl=en

https://www.facebook.com/carriesrealworld

https://www.facebook.com/Carries-Everyday-Living-and-lifestyle-261704010959953/

https://www.facebook.com/czavonuk/

 

Twitter

https://twitter.com/carrie82434764

Blogmas for kids and parents

Hi all I hope Saturday is going well for you so far. This year I am doing Blogmas, so as of tomorrow I will be posting a blog everyday on either of my various sites, including this one up until Christmas day (25th Dec).

Here are the links to my other sites:

https://www.carriesrealworld.com/

https://everyonecanbuildacastle.com/

https://everydaylivingandlifestyle.wordpress.com/

https://theparentingadventuresthebirthofmyson.wordpress.com

https://sportsandfitnesspassion.wordpress.com/

It is going to be tough but I really wanted to do this as I still got so many things I would like to share before Christmas and before the end of the year.

If there is a topic you would like me to post or there is a favourite topic I have already shared but you would like me to post more of then please let me know. Any suggestions can be left in the comments section below.

You can keep up to date on all my blogs by following me on WordPress.com.

I also have a Pinterest page and social media, where I share many things on these too. Please see the links to these below:

Pinterest:

https://www.pinterest.co.uk/carriesrealworl/

 

Social media:

https://www.instagram.com/cazzasrealworld/?hl=en

https://www.facebook.com/carriesrealworld

https://www.facebook.com/Carries-Everyday-Living-and-lifestyle-261704010959953/

https://www.facebook.com/czavonuk/

 

Twitter

https://twitter.com/carrie82434764

Have a great rest of the day and many thanks for reading,

 

Carrie X

Celebrating the Festive Cheer with your kids and gift guide

I am so in the mood for Christmas this year that I have already started getting those gifts. I have Christmas music playing from Youtube via my Now TV box to help rise my mood and get me even more excited and ready.

I have been there where its been a mad rush and wanted it to be over, I hate shopping this time of year in the shops because there are those people who don’t care if you are in front of them or not and will knock you out of the way as if you aren’t there, but my first tip in celebrating the festive cheer with your kids,

is to get in early. 

As we move closer to the 25th of December the busier the stores are on the high street and to be honest some items can workout to be cheaper when bought online, plus you can get different items online compared to the high street, so the second tip is,

if you have never shopped online before and you have access to the internet take a look and a lot of stores now can deliver to your local store to pick up or example on sites such as Amazon you can have some items delivered to a local newsagents for example if you are worried about not being at home for the delivery. 

The one thing my son hates the most is when we go shopping as he literally will decide that he will lay on the floor, sit down or run around. What I tend to do and this is my third tip,

Get them involved so have them hold the list, carry the basket and tick things off, or find items for you, or if this isn’t an option as lets face it when it is busy we all can get pissed off, if you have someone with you who can look after them and take them to a softplay cafe, a coffee so they can have a bite to eat and a drink too or even, making sure they are wrapped up as it is getting rather cold now, to a local park or have someone baby sit your children indoors, whilst you go out to the shops then it can save you from getting flustered and them having a tantrum. 

I haven’t gotten my decorations out yet as I like to do mine in December, its just how I like it and the same for my husband. When we do though I am planning on adding some items, and decorate my sons room a lot more and I asked him if he would like his own Christmas Tree this year and he said yes, so I will be finding a small tree for his room too.

This leads me to my fourth tip. Get them involved in the decorating even when it comes to putting them away, this really helps with transitioning them into the next season and time of the year. Let them choose some items, like for example our calendar this year was chosen last Christmas by our son, because he loves trains. 

Our 2019 Calendar chosen by our son

Have your kids design some Christmas decorations, like making the decor for the tree, gifts such as my son got for his birthday a Decorate your own dinosaur ornament and kit. Using this time of year to have fun helps your kids become excited and see that its not all about spending money but about making gifts personal and can be more sentimental.

If you are looking for gifts for your kids then leading on tip number five,

you can get personalised books. Henry has two, one which I read today which is all about Henry birthday being stolen by a birthday thief and has to keep reading to find out if he gets it back. Brilliant story Then he has another one which was bought and created online by my mum, who put a lovely personalised message inside and is all about what he may choose to become when he is older. 

I love reading to Henry and he does too, he since he was a bubby found it soothing and enjoys it so much that he will often tell me now which book he wants to be read to him.

Last year I bought him and my niece too a book about Paddington taking his Auntie around London, and seeing the sites, and is a pop up book of all the famous sites in London. This one was bought from Whsmiths, but I am sure there are many more out there. Yes it was a bit pricey but one that I know will last him for a long time and can be passed down to other children he may have when he is older.

A book can last a lifetime but toys can last for 5 minutes as children will often chop and change their mind about what they love quite regularly. The one book that Henry still loves and has done since he was a baby is Each Peach Pear Plum, and this book in fact was secondhand given by another mum, so you see a book is educational as reading helps children to write and be a favourite for many a child.

I am not saying don’t buy a toy, but if you are not sure of what toy to buy then a book is as far as I am concerned a good option if they haven’t already got the one you are thinking of buying, and this leads me to tip number 6,

Always ask their parents or keep observing your children to check on what they are currently into. If for example they like Buses, then why not create them a voucher to do a bus tour, and if you check out sites such as Groupon, they often do offers. At the moment they are doing a Bus tour offer for one child and one adult with 56% off, around London to see the Christmas lights and you could add this to their Avent Calendar.

https://www.groupon.co.uk/deals/gl-premium-tours-ltd-39?utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=uk_dt_sea_ggl_txt_dsa_sr_cbp_ch1_nbr&gclid=Cj0KCQiAiNnuBRD3ARIsAM8KmlscjLdoNAqC93JnUdNgA0PcWRDF8LbPZx5JXNMO4h3pl9N3uBIWj3gaAovJEALw_wcB

This leads me to tip number 7, make a personalised Avent Calendar if you don’t want your child to have too much chocolate. I am doing this, this year for my son, and ordered gift boxes and stickers from Amazon, and my mum gave me some items from what she kept from last years Christmas Crackers not been used, for some of the boxes, and will buy just a few more items to add to the boxes. 

You can make it as fun and as personal as possible, like adding some jewellery, a key ring, a badge, a small toy car, with a few sweets and chocolates included if you so wish.

If they like writing then my next tip number 8 is to get them an easel, a word puzzle book, colouring, an activity book or just a notebook. Include a personalised pen, or a fun one which can change different colours. 

My son loves his easel and really has encouraged him to draw, learn his letters, numbers and spellings. I even used it as a scoreboard as he often uses the legs at the bottom as a goal with a little ball when playing football.

If they like to sing and you have a family including adults around at Christmas who regularly like to sing then this leads me to tip number 9,

why not get a Karoake machine. I remember one office Christmas party had one, only a small one, but it was very fun. 

I know a lot of people may think this is outdated but my father inlaw often goes to a Karoake and gets up to do a few numbers, or buy the kids in your life a toy piano or a keyboard, a set of drums, a mouth organ or even a microphone, it really can keep your kids entertained for hours, just have them locked in a room if possible until daytime if your walls are thin because I am sure you wouldn’t appreciate it if someone next door were playing drums at 5am in the morning.

Then there is the food, and the one thing I used to love as a kid was my Nan (my mums, mum) would let us stir the Christmas pudding that she made ahead of time for Christmas. This leads me to tip number 10, have Children set the table and help with the food, such as the baking, or make the pigs in blankets, making sure of course that they wash their hands first and hair is tide back. 

I would always even as a kid set the table with my auntie and my mum. Christmases as a kid were very much traditional and I loved it every year and would every year pop to C and A in High Street Kensington to choose my Christmas outfit.

This leads me to tip number 11. Let your kids dress up for Christmas if they choose too, I have already bought and planned my outfit and bought a dress for the Festive period, which will include Christmas day even if I am working. It is a great time of the year to dress up and have as much fun as possible, for you and your kids. 

So I hope this has given you some tips and tricks in celebrating the festive cheer with your kids and get you in the mood including a gift guide.

If you do get stuck still on what to buy and how to plan for Christmas then the one place I always go to is Youtube. This time of year is full of Christmas guides and tips, so go and check them out.

I will be posting more and even may even post another one before next week as there is so much I want to post, but see how I go, you never know with being a parent what might crop up and ruin your plans.

If you have advice on how to celebrate the festive cheer with your kids and gift ideas of your own that you wish to share then please feel free to share below, I would love to know. If you’d like to be kept up to date with my blog posts on this site, then please follow me on WordPress.com.

I also write on these sites too:

https://www.carriesrealworld.com/

https://everyonecanbuildacastle.com/

https://everydaylivingandlifestyle.wordpress.com/

https://theparentingadventuresthebirthofmyson.wordpress.com

https://sportsandfitnesspassion.wordpress.com/

Many thanks for reading,

 

Carrie X

P.S: Please check out my Pinterest and my social media pages where I post pictures and my blog posts too:

 

Pinterest:

https://www.pinterest.co.uk/carriesrealworl/

 

Social media:

https://www.instagram.com/cazzasrealworld/?hl=en

https://www.facebook.com/carriesrealworld

https://www.facebook.com/Carries-Everyday-Living-and-lifestyle-261704010959953/

https://www.facebook.com/czavonuk/

 

Twitter

https://twitter.com/carrie82434764

 

 

 

Arranging a birthday party/Never try to please everyone its truly impossible

Image result for leatherhead gymnasium birthday parties
Picture of where Henry (my son) had his birthday party this year . Was at the Leatherhead Gymnaisum.

 

Have you ever arranged a birthday party for 30 or so children and got to the point where you wish the ground could swallow you up?

Don’t feel bad if you have because trust me you are not alone. Today it was my son’s birthday party, which we held at the gymnasium in Leatherhead and as much as all the kids loved it including Henry as he cried when he got home because he didn’t want it to be over, I am glad it is.

Tip 1# If you do choose this venue for a birthday party or any place that has a coffee and tea machine provided make sure they can provide milk for it, we didn’t realise they didn’t and they hadn’t mentioned it when it was booked, or when we went to see the venue before the party so we could get an idea of the setting, which should have been done. 

At the end of the day you are paying a lot of money so if you see they have such a machine do ask about milk and why they don’t provide it especially when guests arrive and they have to pay for it. 

Please don’t misunderstand me, it was good to see the mums from Henry’s school, family and a friend who we know outside school, whilst the kids played but I was very happy when it was all over and done.

When it comes to arranging a birthday party:

  • I would save as much as you can from the day after the party or from their birthday to the next year. I am so glad I set aside some money for it, because it really did help matters. I will admit we did have help with financing the birthday party, because we in no means would have been able to do it, if not, but I am still glad I set some money aside that would help us too. This will continue on for next year. 
  • Have an idea a year ahead of what you plan to do even if nothing is booked, but don’t be set upon it as children’s likes and dislikes of things can change. Example: They may like Peppa Pig now, but this can soon change, so just have an idea, but try and keep note by observing your child every now and again, to see what they really are into, as often we can lose track.
  • Do have a budget and create a spreadsheet, a diary or a log book of who is coming, what you will need and how much everything will cost. You do not need to spend the earth on items. Invitations you can make your own, if you have a computer and a printer then away you go. Other option make them and get your kids involved. I got all our items from Sainsbury’s, Poundland and ASDA.
  • Shop around and do some research before buying. If I can buy and save at the same time I do.
  • When selecting the venue find out about parking, what public transport there is and take note of the address so you can inform your guests, and check out the venue first before decorating so you have an idea of the space and area you will have.
  • Anything that can save you time as there are other things to need to worry about other than making sure every kid has a balloon for example and delegate if you can. Never try to do it all yourself because lets face it we are only one person. You will find that many parents will help out on the day too and if they offer and there is stuff to be done TAKE THEM UP ON IT AS THEY MAY NOT OFFER AGAIN!
  • Anything that yo can do ahead of time do it. Trust me it will be a god send in the end.
  • Plan your outfit and I made this mistake but will learn next time, which will be in a couple of years, because I am not giving Henry a birthday party every year, as I do think its important to do different things, and it is expensive to do it every year, but paint my nails a day or two ahead. I wasted so much time painting my nails, because they smudged and I got nail varnish on another finger as I was trying to put the lid back on the nail polish, that in the end I gave up.
  • Never try to please everyone as it is just truly impossible. There was a person moaning during the party, not naming names and I just thought to myself “Just ignore” at the end of the day you aren’t there to make everyone happy but be accommodating yes because there will be those who can’t eat certain food or drink that is okay, but you can’t give everyone what they want because it just not possible, especially when you are on a tight budget. If you have a sulky child or a moany person then just let them get on with it.
  • Do your best and be there to greet your guests, and give instructions when they arrive of what to do, where to go and what will be happening. This helps you and them, so there are less surprises than need be.
  • If you do have items not used such as food, then why not give it to guests to take home and like we did this evening used some of the leftovers for our dinner in the evening. THE MORE YOU SAVE THE LESS YOU WASTE!

So I really hope if you have a birthday party coming up that you find this information helpful and if you need to take a few moments to have a breather and just adjust yourself, have a glass of wine to relax then take it, because lets face it, children can be challenging and managing 30 of them can make you just what go “NNOOO”. Anyway time for me to chill out and have some time to rest and recuperate as its another birthday party tomorrow, but thankfully not my child again. It’s nice when it is someone else’s turn.

If you have any good tips of arranging a kids birthday party then I would love to hear from you. You can leave a comment below.

You can keep up to date with all my blogs on this site by following on WordPress.com and I also write on these sites too:

https://www.carriesrealworld.com/

https://everyonecanbuildacastle.com/

https://everydaylivingandlifestyle.wordpress.com/

https://theparentingadventuresthebirthofmyson.wordpress.com

https://sportsandfitnesspassion.wordpress.com/

Have a fantastic evening and weekend.

Many thanks for reading,

 

Carrie X

P.S: I am on Pinterest and on social media (Please see below):

Pinterest:

https://www.pinterest.co.uk/carriesrealworl/

 

Social media:

https://www.instagram.com/cazzasrealworld/?hl=en

https://www.facebook.com/carriesrealworld

https://www.facebook.com/Carries-Everyday-Living-and-lifestyle-261704010959953/

https://www.facebook.com/czavonuk/

 

Twitter

https://twitter.com/carrie82434764