A “Must Haves” blog for all parents from baby to now a 9 year old

Watching video by Zoe Sugg https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TnJjc0q9Chs who is due to have another baby, was sharing items that she is going to use for her next baby that she used with her first child.

Photo by Aditi Sharma on Pexels.com

As a new mum I had no idea of what was good to use and what wasn’t. We bought bottles and a pump that was a pain in the arse because when Henry, my son was born, found the teats of the bottles we bought, Tommy Tippee, too soft and so was recommended Avent Bottles, with a variable teat, and I bought a manual pump, but I could have chucked it out of the window, It was a Complete waste of money, so used an electric pump to express milk and never looked back, and there are portable ones and so is a must to have, along with a good steriliser. We had a microwave steriliser and an electrical travel steriliser. There are other ones that you might find better, but the Microwave one for us worked, along with the travel steriliser.

Henry never breast fed, because it seemed that he couldn’t latch on, and wished I had kept on trying but he still had my milk by expressing, and if I were to have another child would try breastfeeding for a lot longer to see, and all babies are different. I never took a bottle I was breastfed and then went straight onto using a cup, and with Henry he didn’t take to a cup at first either. I would recommend Hipp Formula milk.

For skincare I would recommend Boots Baby range. My son for a while suffered with eczema, and why we change his formula milk to Organic, which I recommend above, and used Boots Baby wash and cream and I still use it on him when he has a bath or shower, or even when he has a wash.

I still use Sterimar for his nose, that Zoe talked about in her video, and great for clearing children noses, along with Vicks, as when ever the weather changes he gets a cold and Oabis oil.

There are a few Apps for kids that I think are good and there is Youtube kids App which has good videos to watch tailored for young children and CBeebies App, and so if your child has tablet, those are the two I’d recommend. Henry does watch actual Youtube, but be careful with that, because there are fun videos for kids on there but some can still, if not careful encourage bad language, and what I have done is cleared them, and there is a parental lock you can use, and that blocks certain apps and videos on Youtube from your children watching them.

I would recommend in opening up a child’s bank account. Henry has a savings account for when he is older, 18 years and I add to this each month, and worth it, as you do have to think about your children’s future. I did a video talking about this along giving gifts for kids: https://youtu.be/i–zbKpxuos

Audio books. These were a good alternative to reading a book, when tired and sleep deprived, these made a difference and would recommend the Disney ones, and the songs too. Henry still likes a story before bed and loves the Tiger who came to tea, and Billy Goats Gruff. He can read books himself and we use Biff and Chip books. He has development delay, but they are becoming easier and on Youtube you can watch Blippi, which my son loves and went to see his show today, and was really good fun, and have also seen, the show The Tiger Who Came To Tea, The Gingerbread man and Zog. Check out the Polka Theatres, The Rose where we went to today, and saw Zog there too, and the Theatre in Woking.

We are going to see the Shrek Musical at the end of September at the Wimbledon Theatre, and very in expensive.

Sheet protectors for children’s beds, especially if you are toilet training and bed pads too for any accidents at night, along with a portable toilet seat. Henry didn’t take to the potty and went straight to using the big toilet. Every child is different and there are potties that play songs and says if they actually went.

A travel cot. We had one that was super convenient and you have to buy the mattress separately, which I had no idea until we went to buy one, but was a great investment and there are bedding too that you can buy to fit the mattress, and as long as it is in good decision can be passed on to someone else or for another baby.

When it comes to school uniform, you can get good sales on Polo shirts from stores like ASDA, Pepco Poundland, TU Sainsbury’s and Marks and Spencer, or you can buy second hand, check out my last blog: Going back to school, and bought Henry a string rucksack from Amazon, to store his PE Kit, and PE Shorts. His school rucksack he will be using daily, was Smiggle. Their prices can be quiet high, but was a good investment, because we were using it for his Swimming lessons on Saturday and dries really quickly and easy to carry.

I hope you like these recommendations and find them helpful, and if you’d like to read more of my blogs then you can, by following me and if you have any items you’d recommend of Must haves, then you can, by leaving a comment below.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

Another Child kicking off and Another Mum telling him off

So just been for a walk with my son, as he was getting restless and it had stopped raining, and walking back he wanted to go back the way we came, but to have a good walk, I wanted to walk around the park and go the back way home.

Photo by Gustavo Fring on Pexels.com

As he is kicking off, I notice a man watching giving me looks, as he is walking ahead and I am like in my head as I see him whilst I trying to control my son, like “Yes another child kicking off and another mum telling him off, trying to calm him down, so I don’t need you giving me the evils”.

In the end he was fine, and all was okay, but what is it with people like him. He was a kid once, and I get it, some people don’t like kids, or judging because I am yes “I am a mum, with a child who doesn’t want to do as he is told”.

I know I should ignore but I can’t help but say something. I feel that I am speaking for majority of parents here, and that is, “Kids will kick off”.

We can only do our best, but again people forget, kids will express themselves and it wasn’t a really long walk, just enough so my son and I could get some exercise. However In then end it was fine and very quiet, but like that guy, stop judging and giving parents the evils, and never forget you were a kid, and that will be an issue as a parent.

You can’t always please our kids, but parent them so they know that you are only trying to look out for them and not by any means trying to upset them.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

Going back to school

Some of you have already gone back to school, but my son is due to go back in two weeks and will be a new one and I am apprehensive, but that is normal, right? His first week is going to strange for all of us, but more so for my son, and it is my job to make sure that he settles in and we are ready for this change.

Photo by Yan Krukau on Pexels.com

School can be daunting, so children can get the jitters, like my son did and that is okay, but help prepare them as much as you can and if you can visit the school before they start, this will help them to get to know the environment, like the classroom, the teacher and where they will be having lunch and assembly. Along with discussing any fears you have, to ask their teacher and school staff.

Kids starting school can be daunting for us too, and it was strange to me at first and getting to school was such a mission, but did get better, and so I hope this new school is it, that will really help him progress and say if your child has any learning difficulties, so they can put things in place to help them.

Henry has ADHD and suffered being in school with large amount of kids, so in his new school, he will be in one class, which he wasn’t at his second school he went to, he would be in Year 1 for part of the day, then in a class with other children with learning difficulties and then be in his mainstream classroom, year 4 and so won’t be moving around and will be with smaller size classes.

Then there is uniform. It can be expensive, but there are ways to get pieces cheaper by buying secondhand uniform at schools. The schools that my son has attended would sell secondhand uniform and we donated items to one of Henry’s schools, so they can be worn by another child. We washed them first, and then handed them in and stores such as ASDA and Sainsbury’s do some really good sales on uniform. Along with Pepco at various Poundland stores.

The good thing is we don’t have to buy is any stationary supplies as these items are supplied from the school, but if your school doesn’t then it is worth checking stores, like Wilko’s who are sadly gone into administration. I find Whsmiths expensive and Rymans, but they do some good deals on notebooks. Then items such as pens, I always order from amazon.

If you have any tips on getting ready for school then please to share. You can leave a comment below.

So I really hope your children settle in to the school and everything goes well.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

Parenting Dilemmas: Not Limiting our kids and Supporting theirs and yours wellbeing

It is so important to keep you and your children happy, because they can feel the strain of life too, and your vulnerability and it is okay to feel, but if life is getting you down and finding life too much, then your kids may feel it too and be unsure as to what to do.

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Involve them and just spend some time together on your own, have a chat to explain your feelings, so they can explain theirs. My son won’t always say if he isn’t okay, and say when I ask him “Are you okay?”, he will say “Yes”, and so kids will manage their feelings on their own but there are times when, he will express himself, but it depends on what it is about. He will let me know if he wants to be left alone and will make it clear that he wants space. If he doesn’t want to be photographed he will tell me to leave my phone, so he has my full attention, and I respect that and am teaching the same when I want space, and that we all at some point need space and want then attention.

I wrote in a blog on this site about, being more trustful of my son and letting him do more responsible things, example, when he wants to help tidy up or do the washing up and yesterday wanted to help grandpa. who was fixing one of my sons shoes. There are different stages when it comes to children, when they first born to holding their heads up, then sit up and then walk, as some kids can skip crawling and walk and then run, and they go through making noises to talking and making associations with words and their understanding of life changes and being 45, my points of view are different, to when I was a kid, so they are always evolving and so challenge your children, not in a bad way, but to enhance their development by giving them more responsibility and gaining further independence.

I will hover at times just in case he puts his top the wrong way round, and so to stop this I will do something else to not limit what my son can do for himself, and allow him the space to get his clothes on. When my son goes to the toilet I will let him go on his own indoors and will be letting him go on his own in a cubicles, using public toilets and wait outside, and when we go swimming letting him dry himself off, whilst I get dressed and he will wait for me and unlike he used to run off, will stay and wait and for my own wellbeing, need to stop getting anxious about it.

I think I am still shaken by an incident that happened a few years ago. We visited Putney and I go into Poundland and go to pick up something, my son runs out of the shop, and I try to run after him, but was gone, and thankfully a lady saw that I was distressed and I tell her that my son ran off and so she speaks to a a security guard as there is a big shopping centre, and we go back to the Poundland and he is there, but for that split second I thought he was gone and we were near the River Thames, there are busy roads and many places he could have gone and my heart was in my mouth. I got a feeling I did share this in my blogs on this site, but anyway, it really made me shaken and so probably why I get anxious when we go out, and going to the toilet.

He hasn’t done that since (touch wood, and I do) and so need to get over that, and let him take his time, instead of rushing and when we cross roads I no longer need to hold his hand and will trust him to do it himself. He without being told, when he would use his scooter, know to stop by the edge of he pavement until I caught up with him and will allow him to scooter on and giving him space when in the park and allow him to run around, and have some distance.

There are many Dilemmas when it comes to supporting out kids, and worries, but that is because we care and want the best for our children. Lets work together as parents to help one another. Having a good community can really so lets look after ourselves to look after our kids.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

Letting kids figure things out on their own

Kids need to figure things out by themselves when it comes to skills, like going down stairs with supervision, if they need a hand, and want go down them on their own, trying not to be anxious . When it came for my son, as he kept trying he found his own way of getting downstairs, and would slide down on his tummy, until he learned to walk down them.

Photo by Kampus Production on Pexels.com

He did have a walker and would whiz around the living room and when it came to walking if we noticed him he would sit down, and I swear that he was walking before we noticed, without us looking and the same with speech, which was limited at first but has improved lots. If he is reading and wants to hold the book I do and have him turn the pages, and if they want some time going through the pages of a book on their own, as long as they are safe, leave them to it. Of course if it is a book that is relevant for their age, and learning ability.

My son can be lazy, and still wants me to help him get dressed on some days, but I will put his clothes together, but will let him get on with it, and when he does it for himself, feels proud of himself, so some kids need prompting, but if they do it, give the praise. If your child demands that they want to do it by themselves then my tip, let them it means they want to be responsible and moving to the next step of their development. Check out a podcast by @melrobbins, who created the Let Them Theory, as you can use this method in many different ways:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d4z5C8G32AY

I did write another blog about Letting them help with things like, making dinner and wanting to help wash up: If your child wants to help with the chores let them

When it comes to opening wrappers from sweets, if they pull away because they want to figure it out, then again leave them to it, and if you show them where to put it once they have taken off the wrapper, keep reminding them, because they will do this on their own naturally, and on their own.

If they want to put their own clothes and toys away, give them a place to put it and they will follow and make it into a fun game so it gives even more encouragement, and if they put it in the wrong draw then that is fine. Keep showing them where their stuff goes, then again they will follow, and becomes second nature.

If they want to help with gardening. this can be a really good fun task, and when I planted some flowers, my son loved putting in soil into the plant pot and on the flower beds. He helped my mum plant some carrot seeds and was eager to see if they had grown. It didn’t work well as the seed that were planted , appeared to have been taken by wildlife and birds. However, can be a great activity for kids.

The same with if they want to clean your car, or they want to vacuum or wash up. As long as your near by and it is safe to do so, let them do it and when they want to make their own breakfast, or their lunch, say yes, and studies have shown that if they have helped to make their meals, the more they will eat it, if they are fussy about food. Henry will now fill up his cup on his own with milk, and seeing my son develop gives me such comfort, and makes being a mum, well worth it, and thankful that I am a mum and a parent. It is rewarding and mind blowing too.

The more kids get to figure things out for themselves, the more their mind and body will develop and great for kids welfare.

I hope this helps you and just to let you know I have written books on parenting and can be found on amazon, under the names, Carrie Challoner, Carrie Lee Holmes and Carrie Holmes. I also add content on my Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.co.uk/thetypicalLondongal/the-parenting-adventures/

I also have three Youtube Channel to:

https://www.youtube.com/@typicallondongal

https://www.youtube.com/@mywayofliving1602

https://www.youtube.com/@carrieseducationyoutubecha4891

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

Setting rules for our kids to be respectful of things and others

So this weekend we went to visit some friends who live in the South Coast of England and Henry was playing on a bouncy castle near the seaside and was putting his arm around another child’s, a small child’s, neck. We took him off and apologised to the little child’s parents and it is only right. If someone had done that to Henry I would have expected the same.

Photo by cottonbro studio on Pexels.com

When it comes to kids you do need to set rules and boundaries. I don’t want my son to be seen as rude or unkind. I want Henry to be respectful to others for his own good so he is not avoided or isolated.

It is my responsibility to ensure that he says please and thank you and give to others and be loving.

Today my son is at a holiday club and so never avoid social interaction as it can work miracles because it helps them to build good relationships and will learn how to talk and treat others, and is monitored. Has a small child he would pinch or bite, and a saw another child when we went to softplay and out of the blue this young child went to bite him, and push another child over, and her mum told her off and apologise.

Kids will misbehave and lash out, so it has to be stopped and making sure that they stop to help them be better around other children.

When we go swimming I make sure he gives space to small babies and children when he jumps in and if he has a runny nose take him out to clear it and become responsible by making sure he looks after his stuff and not chuck it on the floor and take care of his personal hygiene.

He will if he has finished eating, take his plate or bowl to to the sink and when he is tall enough have him do the washing up sometimes, and he will help put items away once washed. I want Henry to be respectful of his home and equipment and put things out of the way for safety to help his development and understanding, in that he is responsible for his actions and stuff and most of the time he is well behaved and a lady I spoke to when waiting for a bus at the bus stop, who recognised him from being on the bus before, said “He was very well behaved” and that makes me feel good and the rules we have set him and boundaries are working in terms of being respectful to others.

At the moment I have been teaching Henry that he doesn’t always have his way, as he will be fussy and moan, and this can be so frustrating. So it is we don’t go on the trains, as he loves them and watching them, because I explain to him that it takes time to get out of the door some days because he won’t get dressed when I have told him too and that nothing is going to make him happy and spoils the fun.

Everyone gets a choice not just him and if he respects that then we can go out and have fun, not be a constant battle of who should be in charge, and it can effect everyone when a child play’s up because it effects the mood and the environment.

Noone is perfect but the more we tune into our children’s about respect and of boundaries then the more they will be respectful and teach their children if they decide to have children, themselves, to be the same.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X