Tag Archives: Parenting Dilemmas

Handling half term blues/time for spooks today

For some schools it was half term in the UK last week, but this week my son has been on half term, and it’s not quite gone to plan. Monday I took Henry to a park in Putney near the river thames, and because I forgot his ball which I remembered once we got there he was completely miserable for most of the day.

I tried to explain that I had forgotten it but there are swings in the park and we can sit by the river to watch some boats, seagulls, planes fly over, trains, buses and may see a few helicopters, which my son is obsessed with at the moment, however he was still fixated about his ball.

He did cheer up in the end once he had a complete meltdown, and I felt like a complete failure. I did think about his ball, but in the end because I wanted to get there early so not to be back home too late, didn’t think about the ball until we got the park.

Kids can get obsessed with items its part of how they built their likes and dislikes, and so the next day I did bring his ball, as we went to Wimbledon Park and he was my friend again.

To handle half time blues:

  • I have got down to his level and talked it through with him and got him to focus on the other things he loved and in the end on Monday, we did have a good time sitting by the river watching the world go by. If you do feel yourself wanting to scream, what I did is let it out quietly so I did weep a little, whilst trying not to see my son see my cry and then brushed myself off and concentrated on the time we had together.
  • Count 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 which is the Mel Robbins technique, which I share a lot about on my other blog site Everyone Can Built A Castle, or count to 10 in your head if this counts
  • If you are with someone else, take a few seconds out. Putting children in timeout hasn’t always work but getting yourself out of the situation for a few seconds can help wonders

On Tuesday after we had been to Wimbledon Park, I surprised him by meeting Nanny (my mum) for lunch up London. Result! Not gloating, but that’s how you feel when things do go to plan. He did still kick off a little because the one thing Henry struggles with but can do with persistence, is waiting, but once he saw nanny he was all smiles again.

If your son has ADHD and struggles to wait try:

  • Getting them to focus on something. Reading the book The Baby Whisper, hits the nail on the hand with this one, and is useful because it can work, depending on the child. What I did was say to Henry “See if you can spot someone we know” and he did.
  • If you are waiting for a train or bus, get them to see how many different numbers they can guess of the buses, which was one thing we did on Monday, which worked, and this helps them wait for when its time to get on their bus or train.

The one thing they said at school is that he won’t sit down for very long, but on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday, he has. It is often is dependent on what it is, because he sat there lovely yesterday especially watching the birds and the ducks, so if there is something that gets their concentration, then use it.

Yesterday we were out for most of the day. I took him to Battersea Park, where there is a pond, an area to play football which we did and played the crossbar challenge, sat and had our sandwiches that I took with us, and some snacks and then watched the birds by the pond and then walked along the river up to Fulham Broadway. We did have to stop a few times as children do get tired quite quickly but we still did it, and Henry loved walking along the river, going over the bridge and then he got to go passed Chelsea Football club, which I wanted him to see. I wanted to show him a big football stadium, I would love to take him to a match at Stamford Bridge, but just walking passed seeing his face light up I could still he got something out of it.

Henry still had a few meltdowns throughout the day yesterday, because he finds it hard to change from doing one thing to another, but once I showed him that we are going there and perhaps I should print off pictures and map to show him next time to see if this will help, he was fine and as said in the end stopped getting frustrated which is a lot to do with it and didn’t want to go home.

Today he had a bit of meltdown too because we are stopping in for part of the day, but I have an eye screening appointment at my local hospital and then later (my husband and I) are going to take him over to Wimbledon to get his feet measured in Clarks, a great place to get kids shoes, to possibly get Henry some new trainers.

Quick tip# If children start to trip over a lot with their shoes, it is a possible sign that their shoes need changing and their feet are starting to grow out of them.

In any case he really did kick off and I felt myself heat up, so sat down in the Living room and then took a deep breath went back to him and calmly explain things to him trying to use simple words and to see that today we have to do other things but tomorrow we can do a park and walk by the river again.

He did calm down. I am finding talking it out with my son to be a lot more effective then raging which can be tempting, but I can see that this has no effect but can cause an even more a meltdown.

As it is Halloween, time for spooks today we have decorate our home for Henry and my husband too, we won’t be trickle treating but still going to have a bit of fun, going to see if I can make our dinner, burgers, Salad and chips, into something scary.

Even if your children aren’t trickle treating then it can still be a great day to dress up and have some spooking fun.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN EVERYONE!

You can keep up to date with my blogs by following me on WordPress.com and please share what you did this years half term and how you have handled the half terms blues, as a parent speaking and sharing things with other parents can really help. You can leave a comment below.

My blog sites:

https://www.carriesrealworld.com/

https://everydaylivingandlifestyle.wordpress.com/

https://theparentingadventuresthebirthofmyson.wordpress.com

https://sportsandfitnesspassion.wordpress.com/

Many thanks for reading,

 

Carrie X

P.S: I am on Pinterest and social media aswell, so please check out these pages below:

Pinterest:

https://www.pinterest.co.uk/carriesrealworl/

 

Social media:

https://www.instagram.com/cazzasrealworld/?hl=en

https://www.facebook.com/carriesrealworld

https://www.facebook.com/Carries-Everyday-Living-and-lifestyle-261704010959953/

https://www.facebook.com/czavonuk/

 

Twitter

https://twitter.com/carrie82434764

 

 

 

Handling Bad Behaviour

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So yesterday we (my husband and I) were spoken to by one of the teachers at my sons school, because our son has been pinching other children.

The one thing they are trying to install which we are starting to do at home is say to our son Kind hands and Kind feet. We don’t pinch other children because it hurts and not nice for his friends when he pinches them.

We do use time out, I will give Henry a warning and then if he continues to misbehave I will put him in his bedroom for time out, and explain to him that this is not good, and his behaviour is making me sad, not happy.

This does tend to work, and today he would’t put on his shoes. I did tell him off, because he just was for no reason was refusing to put them on. So I explained to him firmly that this is not good and his behaviour is not acceptable and that he needs to put on his shoes otherwise we can’t go to school. I did let him know he was making me sad, and he reacted to this by wanting to give me a hug and then he let me put his shoes and socks.

Shouting and ranting doesn’t in my book work, and makes you look like you are having a tantrum which can cause their (the child’s) behaviour to get worse. So staying calm but being firm is the key to handling bad behaviour. Usually with the same with biting it can be a sign the are trying to communicate, our son does get frustrated when he feels he can’t put his point across, however he still needs to understand that pinching is not the way to go about it, and it has to stop.

Children will misbehave, and it is how you react and respond that can make all the difference.

If you need to leave the room to count to ten do so, as sometimes it can get too much. It can feel like there is no resolution, but remember it won’t last forever and that it is just a fly in the moment thing and it will pass.

Here are some quick tips to help difficult behaviour:

  1. Do what feels right. What you do has to be right for your child, yourself and the family. …
  2. Don’t give up. Once you’ve decided to do something, continue to do it. …
  3. Be consistent. …
  4. Try not to overreact. …
  5. Talk to your child. …
  6. Be positive about the good things. …
  7. Offer rewards. …
  8. Avoid smacking.

If you have any questions or need support when it comes to parenting then why not get in contact with me via my form on my feedback page and I will provide some information and give as much support as I can.

https://theparentingadventurestipsandtricks.wordpress.com/feedback/

I hope you find this useful, and many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

Having Post Natal Depression

I wasn’t sure how to begin this blog as it is a very controversal subject as a lot of women suffer with Post Natal Depression and are frightened of saying anything like I did, because I thought people could see that I couldn’t cope.

I still have days where I struggle as a parent and wish I had a magic wand to fix it.

I wish I had Mary Poppins powers and could click my fingers and my son would be fed and ready for school, instead of having to fight nail and teeth to get him to get dressed.

I did cry a lot when my son was first born and this really went on for a long time and I felt like I was getting it all wrong. I found it hard when Henry started biting, hitting and pinching because he found it hard to communicate properly. At the time I didn’t realize that, that was a sign he was trying to communicate.

My Post Natal Depression went undiagnosed, and it was only later on that my world turned upside down and now I am on medication.

I hope this helps whom may going through the same emotions, and to let you know you aren’t on your own in any way, and there is help out there.

If you feel isolated and alone, then do talk to someone, but the worst thing is to stay silent and not say anything at all. I did feel suicidal on some days and that wasn’t to be selfish but because I felt I couldn’t do this, and felt like a failure.

I felt like I had no control over certain situations at times, and felt totally out of my depth, but I got through it and so can you. I still plan my days but I am lot more laid back than before, but still there are times where I feel I just can’t cope, so I take a step back and breath.

I have found meditation to really help. There is an APP called Headspace and it teaches you about meditation and I have been doing this everyday, and it has really helped control the mind and be at peace with myself.

Don’t get me wrong it isn’t about a quick fix but taking time to be mindful and give yourself some self care time, to stop the struggle that parenthood can bring, even if it is taking a nice hot bubble bath, washing your hair or getting your hair done at a salon, it can really make a huge difference to your well-being, and make you feel better about yourself.  

Check out this link below which is another blog by a mum who also suffered with Postnatal Depression:

http://oc87recoverydiaries.org/postnatal-depression

If you would like to kept up to date with my blogposts on this site, then please subscribe and follow me on WordPress.com.

Should you need support from me should you be suffering from post natal depression, then please contact me, i’ll b happy to help all you need to do is feel in my feedback form and I will keep information confidential and will help as much as I can.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

Getting Children to go to school

Image result for Royalty free taking children to school

Getting a child to school can be tricky, getting my son ready for school can take its time as my son, if he could walk out the house naked or in his Pajamas he would.

I do things gradually so we gradually have Henry eat his breakfast and then at 8 minutes passed seven each morning that’s when we get Henry dressed ready for school. We have started to get him to do it himself, so putting on his pants, trousers and shirt.

I will admit some mornings I do have to wrestle with him to get him dressed. So not always easy.

Once my son is dressed I then I find everything else just fits into place. Getting into a routine is helpful, for both you as the parent and for the child so they know at this time of the day, this when we get dressed, put our shoes on, brush our teeth and one last trip to the toilet, as my fear is getting caught short, and Henry needing a toilet stop on the way to school.

Once we are out of the house it takes a long time to get to school, because my son wants to look and watch everything going passed, the birds, the buses, the squirrels, cars and other children going to school, so I make sure I leave with plenty of time.

The worst thing I hate the most is rushing, and if I can avoid it I will do.

If they do have a melt down on the way then stop, get down to their level and explain that it is OK, and try and take their mind off of it, by looking at the nature or things around them.

Keep letting them know how far away they are and that they doing really well in walking, and don’t worry if they have a meltdown as these will pass.

Children are just like us we get anxious over new experiences and changes, and children aren’t any different. As they start feeling their emotions they become more aware of what is happening around them.

I get anxious but I try to hide it, as I don’t want my fears to effect Henry in anyway and be afraid to go to school.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

When times are hard

I wrote a blog a while ago about Sometimes I find it a Struggle, and I still now there are times when it is so hard, that I just wish I could click my fingers and it all be right again. I can get my son’s uniform on without a fight, I will be at school without the long dreaded walk, and I will get a good report each day after school, but that wouldn’t be life. 

Life is about facing good and bad times and parenting most definitely has its ups and downs. No one tells you the truth and if someone tells me now that it gets easier, I ignore as I know that isn’t the truth, it just changes as your children grow.

Sorry to break the bad news, but it’s true, there are still hard times it comes I have found with parenting. 

Last week was my toughest so far as Henry refused to get dressed and put his uniform on, so I would raise my voice and have tantrum of my own, he wouldn’t go to the toilet when told I had to pick him up and take him there, and I literally had to pull him out of the house to get him to school, as he wanted to watch his tablet, and we had a few bad reports back after school too.

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I think a lot of it was due to tiredness as when he is tired he will play up, so we are trying to get him to sleep for longer and not wake up so early, even though that’s a challenge in itself. 

Come Friday he was a lot better and has been this week so far. I feel nervous in saying that, as one thing I have learned from becoming a parent, is it can all change again tomorrow, and I will be having tantrums of my own again. 

I do try and stay calm but I slowly feel the heat rising and just want to scream, but staying calm as much as possible helps more than when I have a tantrum and when I begin to rant and rave. 

No one told me what a mission it was to get a child to school on time, especially as Henry wants to stop every minute or so to watch the cars, vans, lorries, buses and planes fly over, and see if we can spot any squirrels. I try to be patient and just walk without rushing, but when time starts to tick over I can’t help but worry about being late, even though we have so far made it time, it just takes forever to get there. 

The one thing I am pleased about is that he is happy to go to school once we are out and once we are there, he goes into his classroom without a fuss, and he ran in there yesterday before I could catch him, he was gone, but then when we (my husband and i) picked him up he wanted to run out of the school aswell, which I don’t blame him as I hated school when I was a kid and could’t wait to leave. 

If you are having a hard time then remember is doesn’t last forever and Henry like I say has been OK so far this week. Yes it can all change, but I also don’t want to wish his little life away either and yesterday he actually told me for the first time of what he did at school, which is a break through, as before when we asked the response we got was “Yeah” and nothing more. 

So lets see how today has gone, I feel nervous about picking him from school because I never know what the report back will be, but I will keep my fingers crossed and keep being persistent with teaching Henry to be good at school and hang on in there, as I hope like most things do they will work out in the end. 

Many thanks for reading, 

Carrie X 

Continuously Anxious

Taking my son to school I have become continuously anxious, and it is the lead up to it that I continuously play in my mind, the getting the uniform on, as at times my son refuses to get dressed, giving him medicine as he has a cough and cold, brushing his teeth and getting his backpack on, remembering his bottle of water, his book bag and today I had to take in his temporary PE kit.

Image result for cartoon images taking kids to school royalty free

I don’t know what it is I am expecting but just getting him into the school yard just takes up so much energy because I get so anxious about it, and next week it is going to build up even more as I start a new job. YIKES!

He is fine going to school, he got a bit upset on the second day, but so far he is going in no fuss.

Its just me who gets so worked up over the walk to school and back, that once I drop him off the feeling of relief is out of this world.

Am I the only one who feels so anxious getting their child to school? I see other parents rushing to get their children in school and I think, do they do the same? Do they get anxious?

I have spoken to a few other mums and said hello, but not had a full blown conversation. I will admit I find it hard to get into conversations with strangers and people I haven’t gotten to know.

I just wished I didn’t get so anxious when it comes to taking my son to school. I know as I keep on taking him to school it will become less stressful. Well I hope so. Please tell me does it get easier? Then it is keeping up to date with the regular school letters, filling in his school diary, making sure he reads three times a week, and then there will be home work.

School is a whole new experience, different to nursery, as he has to go to school there is no exception for lateness, and it’s whole new transition that is quite overwhelming in parts.

However he is there now doing his first full day so we will see how he got on when I pick him up later.

Many thanks for reading,

 

Carrie X

 

Lazy mum Hacks

Check out these videos below of some Lazy mum hacks by Myka Stauffer.

I love these types of videos as they really help my day run a little easier

So let me know if you used some of these hacks and if they worked for you.

Let me know if you too have some lazy mum hacks I would love to hear from you.

Many thanks for reading,

 

Carrie X

 

Toilet Training Success

I have been putting off of writing this blog, because every time I think we have succeeded with the toilet training Henry has an accident, but we are having less accidents now so we are succeeding. Last Friday he had no accidents at nursery, just when he was in the car, but the traffic near where we live is bedlam at the moment and took my husband 50 minutes from nursery to home so Henry had wet himself in the car.

However we are having super success and he is even doing number two’s in the toilet too. Sorry for the TMI.

We have just been putting him on the toilet every 2 to 3 hours or before or after he has eaten so he gets into a routine and has started to go to the toilet on his own. I think the accidents are caused, due to him occasionally forgetting or not realising he needs to go.

Image result for cartoon images of toilet training a toddler

My mum has really helped with it, it is good to have someone to help who has been there and done it. Toilet training children isn’t easy and letting them see you go can help, so they get to understand that they need to use the toilet now for wee’s and pooh’s, and Henry now is no longer in nappies during the day and we have had days where there has been no accidents at all.

I am even going to stop putting a nappy on him when he has a nap during the day, but the naps during the day are becoming less and less too.

Henry didn’t like using public toilets so we have this portable seat which you put over a normal size toilet seat so they don’t fall down the hole.

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These are great my mum bought us one for Henry and you can get them from Boots. One tip thought, put black stoppers underneath, helps to keep the portable seat still.

They come with a little bag you can put them in so easy to carry around and remember to wipe them over once used, I clean ours every time it is used. So carry some antibacterial wipes with you, when out to help keep the seat clean.

If you have any toilet training advice then all advice is welcomed. It has been a long process but pleased we are getting there and finally having some success.

Many thanks for reading,

 

Carrie X

 

Some Great Mum Hacks

I love Mum Hack videos and came across some of these videos which have some great mum hacks.

Check out Emily Norris Channel as she does some great Mum Hacks, check out one of videos below, which she collaborates with Kate Murnane, who also does some Mum Hack videos.

Let me know if any hacks you have come up with, I would love to hear from you.

Many thanks for reading,

 

Carrie X

Sometimes I find it a struggle

I was contemplating whether to write about this or not, but feel as a mum this wouldn’t be a truthful blog if I didn’t, and I know I am not alone when I say that I find parenting a struggle at times.

I don’t go out all the time on my own with just myself as my son has the tendency still at the age of four, to run off and I have had nightmares about Henry disappearing whilst on my own, so I am little nervous about going out with me and Henry now. I know I will have to get over this, but at the moment I am trying all my best efforts to avoid such situations.

On rainy days it can be tough to entertain Henry indoors all the time, and a game of hide and seek can only last so long, same with playing catch or playing with his cups.

I got to thank my husband and my mum, for helping out, as it can feel like a long day on my own, so I do try to brake it up as much as possible.

When Henry has a meltdown it can be tricky to try and calm him down, for example if he has a medical appointment, he doesn’t like to sit still and wait and wants to run off and explore. Figuring out what to do him for his dinner, as he won’t touch any vegetables now, even though he loved them as a baby.

Toilet training is still being done and he still won’t go on the toilet, as much as I try and so I still have to put him in a pull ’em up whilst out or when he has a nap.

We are trying to get him out of napping now, as he will be starting school in September so I don’t want it to be too much of a shock for when he begins school. I know these moments won’t last forever but at the time it feels like they will.

One thing parenting has taught is make the most of the every moment and live for today, not for tomorrow or next week, but for today, as who knows what could happen tomorrow.

Do you get days when you struggle? How do you deal with them? Do you have any toilet training advice to give ? I would love to hear your suggestions.

Many thanks for reading,

 

Carrie X