For some schools it was half term in the UK last week, but this week my son has been on half term, and it’s not quite gone to plan. Monday I took Henry to a park in Putney near the river thames, and because I forgot his ball which I remembered once we got there he was completely miserable for most of the day.
I tried to explain that I had forgotten it but there are swings in the park and we can sit by the river to watch some boats, seagulls, planes fly over, trains, buses and may see a few helicopters, which my son is obsessed with at the moment, however he was still fixated about his ball.
He did cheer up in the end once he had a complete meltdown, and I felt like a complete failure. I did think about his ball, but in the end because I wanted to get there early so not to be back home too late, didn’t think about the ball until we got the park.
Kids can get obsessed with items its part of how they built their likes and dislikes, and so the next day I did bring his ball, as we went to Wimbledon Park and he was my friend again.
To handle half time blues:
- I have got down to his level and talked it through with him and got him to focus on the other things he loved and in the end on Monday, we did have a good time sitting by the river watching the world go by. If you do feel yourself wanting to scream, what I did is let it out quietly so I did weep a little, whilst trying not to see my son see my cry and then brushed myself off and concentrated on the time we had together.
- Count 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 which is the Mel Robbins technique, which I share a lot about on my other blog site Everyone Can Built A Castle, or count to 10 in your head if this counts
- If you are with someone else, take a few seconds out. Putting children in timeout hasn’t always work but getting yourself out of the situation for a few seconds can help wonders
On Tuesday after we had been to Wimbledon Park, I surprised him by meeting Nanny (my mum) for lunch up London. Result! Not gloating, but that’s how you feel when things do go to plan. He did still kick off a little because the one thing Henry struggles with but can do with persistence, is waiting, but once he saw nanny he was all smiles again.
If your son has ADHD and struggles to wait try:
- Getting them to focus on something. Reading the book The Baby Whisper, hits the nail on the hand with this one, and is useful because it can work, depending on the child. What I did was say to Henry “See if you can spot someone we know” and he did.
- If you are waiting for a train or bus, get them to see how many different numbers they can guess of the buses, which was one thing we did on Monday, which worked, and this helps them wait for when its time to get on their bus or train.
The one thing they said at school is that he won’t sit down for very long, but on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday, he has. It is often is dependent on what it is, because he sat there lovely yesterday especially watching the birds and the ducks, so if there is something that gets their concentration, then use it.
Yesterday we were out for most of the day. I took him to Battersea Park, where there is a pond, an area to play football which we did and played the crossbar challenge, sat and had our sandwiches that I took with us, and some snacks and then watched the birds by the pond and then walked along the river up to Fulham Broadway. We did have to stop a few times as children do get tired quite quickly but we still did it, and Henry loved walking along the river, going over the bridge and then he got to go passed Chelsea Football club, which I wanted him to see. I wanted to show him a big football stadium, I would love to take him to a match at Stamford Bridge, but just walking passed seeing his face light up I could still he got something out of it.
Henry still had a few meltdowns throughout the day yesterday, because he finds it hard to change from doing one thing to another, but once I showed him that we are going there and perhaps I should print off pictures and map to show him next time to see if this will help, he was fine and as said in the end stopped getting frustrated which is a lot to do with it and didn’t want to go home.
Today he had a bit of meltdown too because we are stopping in for part of the day, but I have an eye screening appointment at my local hospital and then later (my husband and I) are going to take him over to Wimbledon to get his feet measured in Clarks, a great place to get kids shoes, to possibly get Henry some new trainers.
Quick tip# If children start to trip over a lot with their shoes, it is a possible sign that their shoes need changing and their feet are starting to grow out of them.
In any case he really did kick off and I felt myself heat up, so sat down in the Living room and then took a deep breath went back to him and calmly explain things to him trying to use simple words and to see that today we have to do other things but tomorrow we can do a park and walk by the river again.
He did calm down. I am finding talking it out with my son to be a lot more effective then raging which can be tempting, but I can see that this has no effect but can cause an even more a meltdown.
As it is Halloween, time for spooks today we have decorate our home for Henry and my husband too, we won’t be trickle treating but still going to have a bit of fun, going to see if I can make our dinner, burgers, Salad and chips, into something scary.
Even if your children aren’t trickle treating then it can still be a great day to dress up and have some spooking fun.
HAPPY HALLOWEEN EVERYONE!
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