Tag Archives: Parenting Dilemmas

When times are hard

I wrote a blog a while ago about Sometimes I find it a Struggle, and I still now there are times when it is so hard, that I just wish I could click my fingers and it all be right again. I can get my son’s uniform on without a fight, I will be at school without the long dreaded walk, and I will get a good report each day after school, but that wouldn’t be life. 

Life is about facing good and bad times and parenting most definitely has its ups and downs. No one tells you the truth and if someone tells me now that it gets easier, I ignore as I know that isn’t the truth, it just changes as your children grow.

Sorry to break the bad news, but it’s true, there are still hard times it comes I have found with parenting. 

Last week was my toughest so far as Henry refused to get dressed and put his uniform on, so I would raise my voice and have tantrum of my own, he wouldn’t go to the toilet when told I had to pick him up and take him there, and I literally had to pull him out of the house to get him to school, as he wanted to watch his tablet, and we had a few bad reports back after school too.

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I think a lot of it was due to tiredness as when he is tired he will play up, so we are trying to get him to sleep for longer and not wake up so early, even though that’s a challenge in itself. 

Come Friday he was a lot better and has been this week so far. I feel nervous in saying that, as one thing I have learned from becoming a parent, is it can all change again tomorrow, and I will be having tantrums of my own again. 

I do try and stay calm but I slowly feel the heat rising and just want to scream, but staying calm as much as possible helps more than when I have a tantrum and when I begin to rant and rave. 

No one told me what a mission it was to get a child to school on time, especially as Henry wants to stop every minute or so to watch the cars, vans, lorries, buses and planes fly over, and see if we can spot any squirrels. I try to be patient and just walk without rushing, but when time starts to tick over I can’t help but worry about being late, even though we have so far made it time, it just takes forever to get there. 

The one thing I am pleased about is that he is happy to go to school once we are out and once we are there, he goes into his classroom without a fuss, and he ran in there yesterday before I could catch him, he was gone, but then when we (my husband and i) picked him up he wanted to run out of the school aswell, which I don’t blame him as I hated school when I was a kid and could’t wait to leave. 

If you are having a hard time then remember is doesn’t last forever and Henry like I say has been OK so far this week. Yes it can all change, but I also don’t want to wish his little life away either and yesterday he actually told me for the first time of what he did at school, which is a break through, as before when we asked the response we got was “Yeah” and nothing more. 

So lets see how today has gone, I feel nervous about picking him from school because I never know what the report back will be, but I will keep my fingers crossed and keep being persistent with teaching Henry to be good at school and hang on in there, as I hope like most things do they will work out in the end. 

Many thanks for reading, 

Carrie X 

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Continuously Anxious

Taking my son to school I have become continuously anxious, and it is the lead up to it that I continuously play in my mind, the getting the uniform on, as at times my son refuses to get dressed, giving him medicine as he has a cough and cold, brushing his teeth and getting his backpack on, remembering his bottle of water, his book bag and today I had to take in his temporary PE kit.

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I don’t know what it is I am expecting but just getting him into the school yard just takes up so much energy because I get so anxious about it, and next week it is going to build up even more as I start a new job. YIKES!

He is fine going to school, he got a bit upset on the second day, but so far he is going in no fuss.

Its just me who gets so worked up over the walk to school and back, that once I drop him off the feeling of relief is out of this world.

Am I the only one who feels so anxious getting their child to school? I see other parents rushing to get their children in school and I think, do they do the same? Do they get anxious?

I have spoken to a few other mums and said hello, but not had a full blown conversation. I will admit I find it hard to get into conversations with strangers and people I haven’t gotten to know.

I just wished I didn’t get so anxious when it comes to taking my son to school. I know as I keep on taking him to school it will become less stressful. Well I hope so. Please tell me does it get easier? Then it is keeping up to date with the regular school letters, filling in his school diary, making sure he reads three times a week, and then there will be home work.

School is a whole new experience, different to nursery, as he has to go to school there is no exception for lateness, and it’s whole new transition that is quite overwhelming in parts.

However he is there now doing his first full day so we will see how he got on when I pick him up later.

Many thanks for reading,

 

Carrie X

 

Lazy mum Hacks

Check out these videos below of some Lazy mum hacks by Myka Stauffer.

I love these types of videos as they really help my day run a little easier

So let me know if you used some of these hacks and if they worked for you.

Let me know if you too have some lazy mum hacks I would love to hear from you.

Many thanks for reading,

 

Carrie X

 

Toilet Training Success

I have been putting off of writing this blog, because every time I think we have succeeded with the toilet training Henry has an accident, but we are having less accidents now so we are succeeding. Last Friday he had no accidents at nursery, just when he was in the car, but the traffic near where we live is bedlam at the moment and took my husband 50 minutes from nursery to home so Henry had wet himself in the car.

However we are having super success and he is even doing number two’s in the toilet too. Sorry for the TMI.

We have just been putting him on the toilet every 2 to 3 hours or before or after he has eaten so he gets into a routine and has started to go to the toilet on his own. I think the accidents are caused, due to him occasionally forgetting or not realising he needs to go.

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My mum has really helped with it, it is good to have someone to help who has been there and done it. Toilet training children isn’t easy and letting them see you go can help, so they get to understand that they need to use the toilet now for wee’s and pooh’s, and Henry now is no longer in nappies during the day and we have had days where there has been no accidents at all.

I am even going to stop putting a nappy on him when he has a nap during the day, but the naps during the day are becoming less and less too.

Henry didn’t like using public toilets so we have this portable seat which you put over a normal size toilet seat so they don’t fall down the hole.

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These are great my mum bought us one for Henry and you can get them from Boots. One tip thought, put black stoppers underneath, helps to keep the portable seat still.

They come with a little bag you can put them in so easy to carry around and remember to wipe them over once used, I clean ours every time it is used. So carry some antibacterial wipes with you, when out to help keep the seat clean.

If you have any toilet training advice then all advice is welcomed. It has been a long process but pleased we are getting there and finally having some success.

Many thanks for reading,

 

Carrie X

 

Some Great Mum Hacks

I love Mum Hack videos and came across some of these videos which have some great mum hacks.

Check out Emily Norris Channel as she does some great Mum Hacks, check out one of videos below, which she collaborates with Kate Murnane, who also does some Mum Hack videos.

Let me know if any hacks you have come up with, I would love to hear from you.

Many thanks for reading,

 

Carrie X

Sometimes I find it a struggle

I was contemplating whether to write about this or not, but feel as a mum this wouldn’t be a truthful blog if I didn’t, and I know I am not alone when I say that I find parenting a struggle at times.

I don’t go out all the time on my own with just myself as my son has the tendency still at the age of four, to run off and I have had nightmares about Henry disappearing whilst on my own, so I am little nervous about going out with me and Henry now. I know I will have to get over this, but at the moment I am trying all my best efforts to avoid such situations.

On rainy days it can be tough to entertain Henry indoors all the time, and a game of hide and seek can only last so long, same with playing catch or playing with his cups.

I got to thank my husband and my mum, for helping out, as it can feel like a long day on my own, so I do try to brake it up as much as possible.

When Henry has a meltdown it can be tricky to try and calm him down, for example if he has a medical appointment, he doesn’t like to sit still and wait and wants to run off and explore. Figuring out what to do him for his dinner, as he won’t touch any vegetables now, even though he loved them as a baby.

Toilet training is still being done and he still won’t go on the toilet, as much as I try and so I still have to put him in a pull ’em up whilst out or when he has a nap.

We are trying to get him out of napping now, as he will be starting school in September so I don’t want it to be too much of a shock for when he begins school. I know these moments won’t last forever but at the time it feels like they will.

One thing parenting has taught is make the most of the every moment and live for today, not for tomorrow or next week, but for today, as who knows what could happen tomorrow.

Do you get days when you struggle? How do you deal with them? Do you have any toilet training advice to give ? I would love to hear your suggestions.

Many thanks for reading,

 

Carrie X

 

 

Returning to work

Looking for a new position, yes I am need of a change of career and very ready for it, and watching the One Show last night, where they were talking about mums finding it hard to return to work after having a child it inspired me to write this blog.

I have added a section about getting back work in my new up and coming book..watch this space…. in progression. 

After having a child it can be tricky subject and sometimes is a big dilemma of whether to return to work or not after having a child. In my opinion it is when you are ready and what suits your current needs. Never feel pressurized in returning to work if you don’t want to.

I decided after having my son to return to work, but to work part time. I was out of work due to being made redundant just before I found out I was pregnant, and took me ages to find another job whilst pregnant, and in the end it became too late and so I went straight on maternity leave.

I took it for grunted on how hard it would be to find another job. After I had my son and my maternity leave finished I was ready to go back, but didn’t want to miss out on my son growing up.

I wrote down what hours I was able to do and wanted to do and looked for evening and weekend work, I managed find a job working in Tescos. However it was tricky at the time with my husband doing different shifts aswell to do the evening hours so I looked for a weekend job and managed find one, working in a call centre, where I am working now.

Now my son goes to nursery I now work Fridays and Saturdays, but now looking to do more hours but in a different role, as I no longer want to do telephone work. I love writing and eventually would like this to be my full time career but until then I will need to continue to work elsewhere to help me financially for the time being.

If you are not sure and can’t make up your mind up whether to return to work then write down why you want to and what is holding you back from returning to work. Take it one step at a time.

It is up to you what you decide to do if you feel you need more time to adjust to being a parent then take that time. Becoming a parent is a massive adjustment in itself and it will change your life, you can start to see things differently including work.

I know some mums who have used the time whilst on maternity leave to learn that they want a whole different career and work path altogether, you never know to be honest until your baby arrives how you are going to feel about working and your life in general.

So take sometime to think about what you really want and if you do decide you want to go back to work then my tips are:

work out your hours you wish to work and days

find jobs based around those hours and days you wish to work

Update your C.V based on the jobs you are searching for

You can get help from the Job Centre if you need help with your C.V and if you go onto Universal Job match and Indeed.com they have daily job vacancies on their site. These are the main two job search engines I use and indeed was how I found the job at Tescos and in my current job.

Be aware when you add your C.V to websites such as Jobsite and C.V Library for example you may start  to get some agencies ringing you about vacancies. Be aware many won’t have a job available and just want you on their books.

I kept getting agencies contacting me to say they had a vacancy available only to get there and they didn’t. Plus they kept sending me to vacancies which were difficult to get to and I specified that the job had to be easy to get to by local and public transport.

To keep tabs on the jobs I applied for I bought a file box and kept my job listings I applied for in my file box.

Do your own research on the companies you apply for as it looks good when it comes to an interview that you know something about the company and it gives you an idea about the company and if they have a good working reputation or not.

What ever you decide remember it is your choice and no matter what no one else can make that decision apart from you.

Please comment if you too have advice for parents returning to work after having a child as sometimes it is good to know we have that shared support.

Many thanks for reading,

 

Carrie X