What I have learned since becoming a parent

Becoming a parent is a culture shock but a miracle at the same time and I have learned the power of the body and what it can do, which is producing another human being. We as women and men should celebrate that.

I think we don’t give ourselves enough credit as parents and still think “Am I doing the right thing?” and my son is breathing and loves playing different sports and is full of beans, so we, Henry’s dad, my mum and step dad, along with other friends and family who have helped, haven’t done a bad job.

It is good to have others, like other parents support hence why I started this blog.

Sometimes you have to improvise, like Henry wanted to have a score board for when he plays football, and watches a lot of sky sports at the moment and used word to create one, but in doing that I learned to let him find things on his own, within reason, because he found a live scoreboard, and have no idea of how he found one, but kids, and this another thing I have learned, will use their initiative and build their knowledge and understanding. I do monitor on what he watches on his table, as there are videos that attract kids but aren’t child friendly, like eating challenges and sports.

They will copy so you do have to be vigilant, and letting go, as when they get older they will start to move away which is hard to think about, but for them to be independent you do have to allow more freedom and unwrap the cotton wool, that we often can put around them.

My son is now ten years old and thinking about his development, being that he has development delay and ADHD, it is challenging, but working with him instead of for him and on his own, depending on what it is, is a better strategy because it helps him to work with others, and when it is right for him to do things for himself.

It can take time in knowing about how to communicate to your child as it is unique to each child, because some children can have fear in talking, and not share what they understand.

You can’t see into their minds only what you observe and what they tell you at times. With my son he still won’t tell me what he did at school, and has to be prompted. I was the same, I just wanted to forget school because I struggled with it and I am not a qualified teacher, so have had to learn on my own what works and doesn’t.

I have learned that when it comes to shopping to have him push the trolley with me, otherwise he will put up a fuss in the middle of the supermarket and I am glad that he wants to be responsible, and stop him picking up bits we don’t need, as it could be very expensive shop, and doesn’t like it when I check out the clothes. Is he being a typical boy?

He is in bed being the morning and his sleeping habits have changed, he will sleep in more now and kids change a lot, as they grow and is hard to keep up.

So, I hope you like this blog and thank you to those who have subscribed to this blog site and please check out my Pinterest where you can follow me too, and have lots of my content and I do post on Instagram, Facebook and twitter too:

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Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

Helping children to concentrate

So not sure if you have read my other blogs but my son has ADHD and so he finds it hard to concentrate on one thing for very long. He has gotten better, but he gets so easily distracted, so here are some tips I have learned that you may find useful too.

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Learning at home: If you do home schooling then set the scene so there is no easy distraction. I make sure the TV is off, the lighting is okay and then once they finish learning, like reading or writing, then they can play.

Travelling: Henry was pretty good when it came to travelling, only a few times have I have had problems but if they are restless then bring a toy with you, download some apps if they have a tablet or a book, just something that will help you and them enjoy the journey as you can wish you had stayed at home.

Eating: With learning set the scene. When Henry was a baby I would put on the tennis or Countdown. As my son got older we would have our son eat before we had our dinner, but in my experience if you are eating too with no distraction, then the chances are they will stay at the table or have them do an activity like drawing, especially if you are eating out.

Playing games: Just a few moments ago we were playing cricket for a bit, and this morning we played basket ball and table tennis in a local park, but soon after my son wanted to carry on scootering through the park to go to the supermarket, but with my mums help set a challenge to hit the ball across the table tennis table 5 times, and so setting challenges, can really help them want to continue. When my son finds something difficult he will tend to shy away from it, so keep it simple at first and try not to make it too competitive as learning the skill and getting the right technique, is more important and can increase the challenge, once they have got the basic understanding of doing the activity.

At first my son wasn’t interested in his scooter and he will lose interest for a bit, but then will shortly want to play it again, and give praise each time they have done some learning, been good travelling, eating nicely and playing activities and then they will think wow okay let me do that again, rather then be put off.

Please check out my books The Parenting Adventures pregnancy to the first 9 months and The Parenting Adventures Baby to Toddler years. They are available on Amazon under my name Carrie Challoner.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

Cheat sheet: Getting a good nights sleep

Check out my new Cheat Sheet about getting a good nights sleep. If you have children you may find these tips helpful.

getting-a-good-nights-sleepDownload

It is completely free to download.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

When children get sick

Today my son if off from school due to having a tummy bug and had to collect him from school yesterday, normally he gets the taxi due to distance, and you never know sometimes of what to expect. Today he does seem to be a lot better and kids will get sick.

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I am going to start having my son take a multi vitamin which we did before but it was medicine type bottle and didn’t like it, so going to try a different type, as an adult I take supplements and they really do help, and took one as a kid.

Check of course with the pharmacist or doctor, and to know what is okay for your child to take, as some children may have allergies and there is so many on the market so can be hard to know what to buy.

My son can be reluctant to wash his hands so making it a must so he does it without a fuss as it is important and working in nursery I never known a child not have a runny nose and so have tissue to hand and make sure your hands are washed too. I remember when working in a call center and one of other agents after going to the toilet never washed her hands. If we want to have children follow good hygiene practices, then we as adults if you have kids or not, should set an example so it becomes a natural positive habit as germs can be spread easily if we don’t keep ourselves clean.

When going out for the day or going on holiday have a pack like a first aid kit in your hand luggage in case you child has travel sickness, and prescribed medication is packed in their too with the prescription and check with the Airline before you travel, if you are going abroad.

It is often a dilemma when our children get sick because kids do, but knowing how serious it is. Check their temperature, what their pooh looks like and if they have gone to the toilet, have a lack of energy, the colouring of the skin and if you see a rash then test it with a glass and if it doesn’t disappear contact your doctor straight away, or call 111 or go to A&E, which I hate saying because they do get overloaded with many people and children, and was told that by the receptionist of my sons doctors surgery and had to push for an appointment and managed to get one late in the evening. He had tonsilitis, so make that call or visit and tell the A&E staff that you were referred by your GP.

Be careful with food and check with the restaurant if they have food that can cause an allergy, and when I was a young child I became very ill, when I travelled abroad for the first time and missed a lot of days and there are some days of that holiday I can’t remember after being so unwell.

I wasn’t sure if this was heat stroke or something I consumed in terms of water or food, and when I went camping I was sick, so have a travel bag with medicines that can help and use bottle water if you are unsure if it is safe or not to use in a different place or country.

When at home have a cupboard or a box kept away from kids, with medicines your children are okay with and going through the food they’ve eaten. The doctor will ask what they last ate, if they have had diarrhea or vomited. Keep a record or mental note and what you have tried to use to help. Make sure they are away from others for 48 hours.

I found also keeping away from dairy and drink plenty of safe water to help with recovery from sickness if it is a tummy bug and with chicken pox when they start to scab and taken medication it is usually okay to have social interaction, so back to school for example but check with your child’s childcare setting.

Things with measles it is 5 days but check, and if it the flu that they are getting treatment like antibiotics and let the childcare setting of the medication and when it has to be administrated to your child.

So I hope this helps you and please if you have tips then please share.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

Weekly Cheat Sheet: Planning your evening

Hello and welcome! If you didn’t know I now do weekly cheat sheets, which is a free printable, to help your days and get the most out of your life.

This weeks one is ideas on Planning your evenings as we head towards spring.

planning-your-eveningsDownload

I have also shared this sheet on my other site, https://everyonecanbuildacastle.com

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

My weekly Cheat Sheet: Ten Minute Habits

Welcome to my blog where I share tips as a parent to help you too. Each week I am posting Cheat Sheets to help you get ready for each day and week, and this one is ten minute habits:

ten-minute-tasks-1Download

Many thanks for reading, and do pass these on if you wish and to keep up to date with my blogs subscribe.

Carrie X

Cheat Sheet: take time out for yourself

Please check out this weeks cheat sheet, to help you Take time out for yourself. It is so important to have me time, especially as parents, because sometimes we forget to, so make it a must that you schedule this time.

getting-some-time-to-yourselfDownload

Many thanks for reading

Carrie X

Keeping kids safe in the winter

Hello and happy new year! So it is really cold now, and my son hates wearing a jacket or coat. He detests anything that has a hood, so a bit tricky when going out, and never feels the cold.

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My son, since he was a baby has always had a good body temperature, but I know when it is super cold because he will, like last weekend, we went to play some football, wanted his jacket done up, and kids will let you know how they are feeling. He naturally been wearing a hat, usually mine, but has decided on his own to wear a hat, and you can’t force kids, So never fear, your child will see it for themselves of if they should wear their coat and jacket on. Not saying you shouldn’t care but stop feeling like a bad parent when they won’t put on a jacket when it is cold, and allow them to realise why they need to layer up, rather than nagging as from experience this will makes then resist even more.

The other thing is not to put the heating on too high, because they can overheat, and to help that is to invest in a room thermometer, which tell you what temperature of the room, and not near any radiators, or windows if possible because of the draft, and not to cover them too much when going to bed, or they take naps still, and when in their push chair.

Kids can get clammy, and sweat so if they are getting too hot then take a layer off, but if they are running around and not cold, once they stop play their body heat will drop, so then have them covered up and that they are non slip shoes on, when walking on icy pavements and paths.

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Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

Under estimating parenting, it is joy but also a job

I know I chose to have my son and wanting children so we shouldn’t be complaining, but it is tough. Yes it is a joy, and love the time I share playing and keeping my son occupied, but when your child refuses to get dressed and running from you, boy oh boy can it be like, we have no where to turn, and you end up wanting to suck your thumb and dive on the floor too.

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I love my son and our time together playing rugby whilst putting his dinner on is joyous, and I am always the one who has to crouch down on the floor pretending to be doing a scrum, if you are not sure that that is it when you put arm around each other and have to push the ball along with the players by using body strength, and the floor boards in the living room and playground really hurt my knees.

I know we shouldn’t be playing rugby indoors but would do it in the garden but my son has the tendency in kicking the ball over into a neighbours garden and be covered in muck and needs tidying up , but we basically do running and tackling and most of the time I let him get a try, to have a bit of a rest. I think it was a real game we would both be in the sin bin, because we both bend the rules. I often will run in the corridor to the kitchen back, into the living room to try and get a try, or in the playground I will wait until he is distracted by a train going passed and he won’t start the game unless when he kicks the ball I catch it.

It is good to make time to play and my son bosses me about and will physically take me to the part of the pitch of where he wants me to stand to try and tackle him. Yet when it is time to finish he can kick off so I have to warn him of when we will finish, and at the moment getting him to get ready for school becoming a hard task.

This morning he was dancing which was great but not concentrating in eating his breakfast and was reluctant to get dressed and wouldn’t give up his tablet until it is time for him to be taken to school.

You have to limit the amount of screen time and we do, but when it comes to getting ready it can help them to concentrate on something, and not worry about what they’re doing and just gives us a break, which as a parent we don’t always get.

When I want to do some computer work it has to be often when he is being looked after by my mum and step dad, but then he will come up to come back downstairs so has to be when he is at school or in the holidays, be at a holiday club and wants my full attention.

It does help me in that I will monitor my own time I spend on devices like my phone and has helped me to be more present but when it comes to managing my life I use my phone to remind myself of things, like making sure I top up money on my Oyster card for travelling in the week, taking my bits I need for the week and get ready for the weekends and so I do need that time.

Never under estimate parenting because it is a job aswell as a joy and shouldn’t be forgotten and as a parenting, we do our best and we need to regenerate for the world to continue on, and feel good in what our bodies can do, in order to have kids, because it is a life changing event and changes you forever.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

Being a mum means…?

This week was International Women’s day, check out my blog on my other blog site: http://everyonecanbuildacastle.com

What has inspired me to write this blog, was watching and listening to a podcast by Giovanna Fletcher, which is called Happy Mum Happy Baby: https://www.giovannafletcher.com/podcasts/series-eight and she asks this as one of questions, and it got me thinking. To me its the whole experience from carry a child to watching them grow into little people and building their dreams and aspirations.

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I waited quite late at 35 when I became pregnant with my son and he wasn’t planned, but I have always been maternal, and knew I wanted to have kids one day. As a kid I loved looking after other children, and babysitting for friends. I didn’t mean to become pregnant at that age, but it was how it panned out and in my twenties was out with friends a lot, and for me I had to have that time before I began thinking about having a child.

So what does it mean to you…?

We need to appreciate that every parents story is different, and its finding yourself and what is important to you.

Fill in the gap and write down what it means to you.

This is not to make you feel that you’ve been doing a bad job in anyway, but bonding and building a healthy relationship and giving them support whenever they need support with to me is whats important.

It isn’t about about changing 55 nappies in one day, but what it has taught you. I have learned a lot being a mum, like what I show my son, because he will copy so I need to set a good example, like not swearing, having a tantrum of my own and having fun. Focusing on one thing at a time and respecting my son, and his needs.

I love it when my son and I go on walks and travel with each other, visiting different places and playing football or rugby.

Every mum will probably say different things and that is fine I respect all mums out there along with fathers, but as women I feel we don’t give ourselves enough credit.

For me it is little moments, like I love it when my son and I play darts because we laugh so much, because my maths is terrible, and thank to the person who created calculators, to do the scoring,but even that I get confused, but being able to laugh at our flaws being a mum, showing your kids of who you are and having boundaries, is what is top of the list when it comes to What it means to me.

We often forget our own care and that for me is top of the list too, and whenever you can have a break to having coffee or a cup of tea, take up the opportunity its not that we need to stop caring for our children, but giving us some me time, and since being a mum time as a I said before in my blog, is precious.

My son has made it clear to me that he doesn’t like me looking at my phone all of the time and be present with him, and I will take myself away from social media and give him the attention he needs.

Kids need there space and time away from us, so in holidays he will spend a couple of days at a holiday club that is local and loves being around other kids and be away from me, and my mum and step dad will look after him too, as weekends we spend in Wimbledon where they live and have some space, and see different faces and people.

So lets work together in bringing the next generation in the world, of course if you want children, and respect us as women and what being a women means.

I have written EBooks on parenting on Amazon.co.uk and I write under the names of Carrie Challoner, Carrie Lee Holmes and Carrie Holmes.

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Many thanks for reading.

Carrie X