Looking after yourself as a parent

We as parents can be harsh on ourselves, like today when earlier I took him to park and when it was time to leave, he didn’t want to, and did have a tantrum, and there were some girls who didn’t want to play with him, and so when that happens he then wants to continue to try and be friends, so I took him out of that situation, and other childen can be mean, and so I didn’t want to stop his fun, but some bigger girls came into the park which looked like alcohol and I just felt we had to go, and yes I felt really bad, in doing that, but if Henry could play all day he would, but yet we still would have had to come home, now it gets darker earlier.

This is why it is good to pay us attention as we can forget about ourselves and often don’t give ourselves a break.

It is time we did that, and Take 5, and I have spoken about this a lot on parentng as we need to take care of ourselves to stay on track with life, it that could be taking 5 minutes to make a cup of tea for ourselves, or to have a freshen up for the day, and so the first, tip I want to give is,

Tips1# Set a date with yourself.

So set a time and a day just for yourself and that can be a night out meeting friends and having a social life again, as this can all stop when becoming a parent, but we need that break, and to see different people.

Go to the Cinema, or a theatre show, along with a meal out and just take yourself out on a break.

The next tip I am gonna give to you, is set reward yourself, we do this for our kids but never ourselves but we should, do so,

Tip2# Reward yourself

This can be a jar of cofffee, or a coffee from the coffee shop, rather than making it yourself, or a date with the bath tub with some Epsom salts or gift set which has bath and shower products. I reward myself by doing self care and this time it was a magazine and a coffee in a coffee shop to read the magazine I bought.0

Why not reward yourself with getting a makeover, they used to do this in Boots and I have done this before when gone into Debenhams in Wimbledon and it is nice to have someone else to my makeup for a change.

Tip3# Getting fit and simple parenting fitness

This can be having a kick about with your kids, or have you and your kids follow you in doing a fitness routine, that the whole family can do, like Zumba or yoga, and even going swimming, obviously in this time of year an indoor pool, but is worth it. When I was pregnant with Henry I took up swimming and it was so nice, and a great form of exercise.

Wack on a fitness dvd or put on Youtube and do a workout, and great to do during nap time, if you not able to nap with them.

Tip4# Have a TV binge day

So today I did this watched Match of the day, then a political show and then a David Attenborough type of programme, and whilst my mum looked after Henry, I had time to go back to bed as I was super tired and just needed that extra lay down.

I did this also after being back from popping out myself, binged on TV and watch some cycling races, and then Wallis and Grommit film. It is good to have this type of day, especially when it is cold outside, and I find it super cosy.

So just take time and look after yourself, it is so important and gain back some peace and time to recuperate.

I do also make Youtube videos on parenting so here is a like to my channel and is under The Truth About Parenting:

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCUDFIqjVKLy7NhtcR6Hy0Tg

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

Kids and associations

Kids are a lot more clicked on that we underestimate them at times, but kids now seem to be a lot more self aware of themselves now compared to when I was a kid. You can tell what era they were born in, and make associations about things they see, hear, taste and smell. So they begin as they grow to use all of these senses, along with touch.

So for example, they will see that food because they see you eat it, they will see that food is for eating, but then early in their life a lot of things can end up in their mouths if not careful. When working in a nursery there were kids who would try eating a crayon or sand, as soon as your back was turned.

They don’t often realise, but they also follow regular patterns od each day, and not learning about time, know when it is time for their breakfast, when it it time to play and when it is leading up to bedtime.

They will begin to remember things, like where the park is from their home, when they see the pond they know they may see ducks and swans. They know what things are, like a funfair or know what a toyshop looks like. Kids at first when born and I didn’t know this until I became a parent, and that they associate you, mum mainly, food and drink, especially if they are breastfed. So as soon as I held Henry, my son he would cry for food and make the motion to feed, but I found breastfeeding a hard task because I wasn’t producing a enough and Henry it appeared to not know how to latch on, but I now wished I had kept with it, as from looking back he did, it was my milk that was the problem.

There is breastfeeding counselling now, which I would defintely do if there is a next time, because I will learn a bit more about and with Henry I was ignorate to it, thinking I’d produce milk like a tap, but that was not the case. From baby age, I found that with Henry he knew who people were instantly and it would be by the words they’d say and they do copy, and so yes watch the swearing, as I am guilty of swearing in front of my son, and so, I try my hardest not too. I don’t want reports from school saying he is rude and saying bad words. It can make them become isolated, and I found that making a song and dance out of it too, encouraged it a lot more. So I will says “Kind words Henry” and they can do it, to get a reaction from you, so by saying “Kind words” and ingnoring it, he will stop as he see’s he gets the wrong attention if he does.

As they grow they will associate things that soothes them, when they want a bit of stimulation, like a certain song, a sport, a TV programme and story telling and books. They will at first look at the pictures, but then begin to associate the image with the word.

They start to know different colours they see, unless they are Colour Blind, or they are unable to see at all, but they will have stronger senses, like touch, hear, see and taste. They will start to know more of what they like and don’t. They will start to associate relationships with people and other children and who they are and if they are a friend or not.

It is all about understanding what is what.

If you would like to read more of my content you can by following this blog, and visit my Pinterest:

I also film parenting chat videos, under the Truth about parenting, please check my content here:

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCUDFIqjVKLy7NhtcR6Hy0Tg

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

Parenting Drama, How to avoid it and stop arguments between the other parent

Hello and welcome! So yesterday there were a few arguments, not me but between other people as I had an appointment discussing my work and what I want to do next. It was an argument between a person who was on security and another employee and I felt so awkward witnessing this and it was about letting people in and it made me think of parents when they argue in front of their kids.

Photo by Keira Burton on Pexels.com

I have been there and it can make the child not knowing what to do. So when Parenting becomes a drama because you and the other parent doesn’t get along, how do you deal with it.

1. Set up a placed where you can just talk to the other parent or time to sit and chat, when your child is at nursery, being looked after by a friend or at school, of when they can’t hear
2. Talk to each other sensibly and without rage, and if you need to go outside for example as it is getting too much, give yourself and the other parent time and space recuperate
3. Stop being bad cop or good cop, and be on the same page. Kids should come first and not used as a weapon
4. Ignore emotional blackmail and again if you need to take step back and get perspective with another parent’s views you discuss as adults, then do and get to a place with your minds, that both parents are included in your kids lives, unless they are abusive or violent
5. Remember kids have a voice too, so if they want to express themselves then let that happen, as children do have a sixth sense and they will learn what is going on and see it so don’t push them aside, but sit and chat with them. Kids often won’t let on how much they know is going on, so hear them and listen to what they want
6. Have a family discussion so if you have a lot of children then sit with them and have a family meeting to discuss any issues you and they have, and this can help all of you in being happy

Never forget we are all humans including our children and it is important that we treat them that way.

Please check out my Truth about parnting videos.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

Kick start to being a parent/Having time just you and them

First of all. Thank you to those who have followed me as I continue to write blogs on this site, honestly, you help me continue the skill I love and I glad that you like them. I would not be here still if it wasn’t for you supporting my blogs and so a BIG BIG THANK YOU!

So kick start being a parent. Life changing experience you’ll always remember, but not telling you how to parent but what will help you.

1. A good cup of coffee or tea, with a good book to read when you get 10 minutes from your children who may cry, run in my case and you just need to take that time to enjoy such luxuries
2. Get into a good TV or video series on Youtube. I always need my daily dosage and gives me time to rest and take some time away from everyday errands as a parent, like rushing on school days and afterschool clubs. Parenting is a busy business
3. A playlist of music and dance to when you and your kids are doing chores or if they are napping and you can get the home together, even the tiniess of jobs. Its good to see ticks on a to do list rather than crossing outs
4. Meeting the girls for drinks. We all need that time to see our friends without our kids at times. It does not mean we don’t care, but to have that time to chat, dance and catch up on your girlfriends and have a nice evening to yourself, just makes a nice change
5. Take up a hobby. It is good to learn new skills and good for you and your kids and why not do a hobby that you all can do for a change of environment, being indoors especially as lockdown has started to move on, and it can be painting, playing football, going to football matches, running a family team and get other friends with kids involved too
6. Have your meals prepped for the week. Something I miss doing and would like to have Henry helping me now in the kitchen preparing meals, great for them in being independent and how to make good nutrious meals
7. Get your kids to shop with a list instead of you and have them meal plan along with washing up and doing their own laundry instead of you
8. Have time with your kids making lists of when they do chores on what rewards they woudl like, but are doable and have a chart of what they have done for the reward, like have them strip their beds to be washed or made them. All of these skills will help as adults and its good grounding activities that you can do as a family unit, even if you are a single parent.
9. Have kids writing a story and have the read them out to you. Writing is a must in skills and letter writing too. Just skills that will create memories and develop good relationships with other kids and other people
10. Go for family walks and spend time visiting different places, but following the COVID socialising rules.

I do also do a Youtube series on my Youtube channel called Truth About Parenting check out my latest one.

Truth about parenting: Skills that kids should be learning.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X