Discovering what our kids really want

Kids cab be like a jigsaw puzzle where we think we have found the pieces to help build them only to find that we haven’t got it right once again. I have lacked confidents being a parent and trying to please kids all the time is hard work, but I think its because we underestimate their true feelings about how they see the world differently to you.

Have a chat about what they would like and I was this weekend watching the comedy Outnumbered where the kids are very like they have a explanation for everything whilst they are trying to have a family outting in London. This reminded me of my own sitauation.

Henry can be very hard to please and wants a large Thomas Tank Engine train but checking out Hamleys in London, found nothing and I did offer to buy him a toy there but some were quite expensive and weren’t that much to them. so now on the look out and every item I showed him, he said no to.

With Henry though he isn’t possessive over seeeing new toys, he just likes to see them moving and never gets upset about not having a toy. He does play his tipping point machine and watches videos on his tablet, but he will pick up a toy if there is something he wants. I do have to be careful of the price, but I save money so I can treat him, but if he mucks about or does get annoyed then I will take him out of the environment and then crouch so we have eye contact, very important and then ask “Do you really want that toy?”. I only buy the on item and he knows that it is one toy and that’s it.

I will give Henry options like or I will tell him what we are doing, and then he will decide where he would like to go to first, and he is good at making those decisions and stick with them, but checking with them. As you ask a kid 5 times there is bound to be a different answer so say “So we going to Hamleys first?” at which he will say yes to, and then get the bus back, and he will say usually that he wants to go on a train.

I think it is important to allow kids a chance to have a day where they make the descion, and they feel included and more agreeable when you had over the decision making hat, for a day or two.

It is about allowing them to use their voice, us to listen to them and be part of it rather than being forced to go out or to choose a toy.

I find even though we can still have strops it can be lesser than you being the parent, calling the shots all of the time.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

School run how it has been better

I thought I would document this as I struggle and get very anxious over the school run and want to let you know about this because it can be a mission getting kids to school. Henry because of his previous school didn’t think he suited it when going up to the third year there, he was referred and now goes to another school he now has a taxi arranged by the local authority to pick him up to take him to and from school.

It did take a while for this to be sorted out, but now it has been done and I do feel a lot better. I hope you don’t see this as selfish but it was his previous school who made it clear they wanted him to change so we did, and had to contact an outside travel service and didn’t realise it was not straight forward when it came to the transport to his new school.

I do feel that his previous school had let us down as they initially said that Henry would be helped and thrive in their open evening but not the case. For the first week and two days, I had to take him by local transport and called a taxi and turned up first time fine, but the other one didn’t turn up and so had to get two buses and a real mission.

Now we get help in getting our son to school has been a Godsend and thankful that Henry hasn’t had a meltdown about it and loves it.

So if you can get help in getting your kids to school then find out about it, especially if like my situation it means paying a lot on travel and it just another thing you don’t have to worry about and just being their for when he is picked up and then dropped back, helps take the pressure from it.

If you can get help then take it. I know I chose to be a parent, but that should not have anything to do with it and as parents getting a bit of support in whatever area you find a struggle then take them up on it, making sure it is safe to do so.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

When kids Have a Meltdown About Going to School

This is a form of Separation anxiety and when Henry began nursery and school, he had this and in the schools in the UK do, is a “Moving up day” where they are taken to the school they are going to via nursery to be shown around and meet their teacher and just allows them to get to know school before beginning.

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Yet, this week Henry began school, in a new place as he has 1 to 1 support for his development and further his learning.

He has been fine so far. Not tempting fate, and Friday he was greeted by the Taxi driver set up by Surrey council to be taken to the school due to distance and was fine.

It can happen at anytime depending on the child and how they see it, and this has to be respected and it is a shock to them, as school and nursery is not the same They have to get to know a new set of people and that can be scary. It was for me.

Taking my so to school on Thursday, there was a young girl in tears and it was upsetting to watch as she didn’t want to go in and let her guardian there leave and as a parent, if that is her parent, is very difficult to deal with, and when kids have a meltdown there often seems like there is no solution, and I bet the parent or carer of the child most probably gets anxious over it too.

Becoming a parent should never be underestimated as you are responsible for the child and it an be daunting as a parent, when it comes to school. To Henry we help to talk about school to help him get understand it and what he will be doing each day and Monday he is doing horse riding and when his teacher told me I was like WOW.

So it depends on the school, the teachers and the child. Just help your child prepare and they do adjust to it in the end, and its listening and observing them that can help.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

Its Official the new school year has begun!

Hello and welcome! Thank you for the likes of my blogs on this site, and the follows I have received. It really means a lot.

So the school year has begun and yes it is back doing the school run again, and for me I will be doing the school drop off and had to arrange transport for Monday and then again for the rest of the week ahead.

I have created a free Printable with a few tips to help kick start you, and about getting the kids involved.

getting-back-to-school-free-printableDownload

This is free to download and print if you need some support in getting kids back to school, and it is all about planning ahead and getting everything together without the mad rush.

So I hope you find it useful and more blogs to come.

Many thanks for reading and downloading if you wish to.

Carrie X