Feeling Anxious when your child becomes a toddler and handling the terrible twos

Yes it is that time of your children’s growth where they can get into cupboards and cause as much mess as possible not good if you have OCD as it can feel like a bomb has hit it. Well fear not, because you can also create games with them, to see how many balls can they get into a bucket and begin to know where things go.

I this is a series of blog, please check out my first two that I wrote and shared:

Feeling Anxious when pregnant

Feeling Anxious When your baby arrives

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They will start to test your patience, and my son poured a shelf of custard in a supermarket and yes and foolish left, his dad and I legged it. Yes sorry to those who did clear it up. I do feel shame in that, as it should be reported so people don’t walk in it or slipped over.

Then there is baby proofing. The one thing I would say is avoid using gates as it can feel restrictive and if they see you walking down the stairs and show then they can still be safe when it comes to stairs, as they learn as they follow you without falling and so would say baby proof cupboards, apart from their toys as it good to have them choose a toy themselves to play with.

They may begin to snatch, so teaching the words like “Ta” can help them learn the correct way if you do help them and be assisted with a toy. I have found that the earlier you practice “Please ” or “thank you” the more they will do it, and if they don’t, stop feeling bad like I have done and be hard on yourself, just keep reminding them and they will learn to naturally do this, and will be an example to other children.

They will throw a lot and get frustrated when they not able to do something. Tried not to get cross as this can lead to both of you having a tantrum, but show them them to place the item and encourage them to ask. This goes with as above good common courtesy and learn to share with children as they can start to begin to interact with other children and good when they can play nicely with no tears or tantrums.

The terrible twos can be tricky, and if you can get support from family and friends, then take them up on it. This doesn’t mean you are a bad mum, as we function better by having a rest and having some alone time. So if you can delegate them do so, and then continue with supporting your children once you batteries are fully charged.

I do have a Youtube channel where I share parenting tips and it is a on going series called Truth about parenting: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCUDFIqjVKLy7NhtcR6Hy0Tg

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

Typical London Gal

Feeling Anxious When your baby arrives

It is a transformation and so the first tip, like my last blog, to take your time. Any concerns speak to your midwife and health visitor and never think you are being silly.

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You don’t know how you are going to feel no matter how many baby books you have read, but it can be a a joyous occasion, and so if I had to talk to myself when my son was born, is to be more relaxed and taken it in everything and don’t get upset if you get things on. When in the Special Care unit. every parent would put the nappy on the wrong way or baby would do a week or a pooh, whilst changing a nappy.

I remember sons first bath. We had talked whilst having a coffee, on one of our first trips out, after our son was born, and it the plan was forgotten as my son’s dad, stripped him off before I got the bath ready and the water wasn’t warm enough and Henry was crying we began to argue and felt relived it was over.

Thankfully we learned for the second time.

Babies when they are first born, can lose a bit of weight, and then as they feed will gain wait. However if you have concerns then of course tell your doctor or health visitor, and I for the first month kept note that he had poohed and that he is weeing.

Henry had reflux and so we had to give him infant Gaviscon for it and would put a sachet into his milk and kept note again whilst he was being given the Gaviscon because you can use it up to 6 sachets each day, and this did stop the reflux and was advised by the doctors and nurses on the Special Care unit who used it and advised us to use it whilst he was still in hospital as he was Premature, and when we took him home, and used it up to 6 months or so.

If you are having breastfeeding issues but anxious about your breast milk or not wanting to breastfeed, then get help. I wasn’t producing enough, and I did all what the nurses advised to encourage my breastmilk to come through and watched on Youtube for tips. and only got a little bit, and thought I did well, only for it to be given back because it wasn’t enough. I felt defeated, but kept on, but it was stressing me out.

Now you can get counselling for it and if I were to have another child, would definitely go down that road and get support. If you choose not to breastfeed, then I believe this is choice and should not be judged for it. As long as your baby is drinking milk and is healthy then, that is what is important.

Next is sleep. When Henry was going to be discharged, we were offered to use their family room before we took him home and spend the night to get used to caring for our son, and neither me or my son’s dad, didn’t get a lot of sleep and the routine completely changed when we took him home for the first time. His first night at home he made a lot of noise and again didn’t get a lot of sleep and would sleep when he did, both of us and after our son would sleep through the night, and I would worry and check to make sure he was breathing and of course he was fine.

This changed when he began teething, but was able to sleep unaided and that is because we never made a fuss, the occasions when it was difficult was when he was unwell. Thankfully is a deep sleeper even now he is 8 years old. I know we aren’t all that lucky, but you adjust and if you get someone offering to look after your baby whilst you catch up on sleep accept the offer, as rest for new parents is a must.

I really hope this helps you and if you didn’t read my last blog then you can via this link Feeling Anxious when pregnant.

In the next blog I will be talking about Feeling anxious when they become a toddler and handling the terrible twos.

I have written books on parenting on amazon.com under the names of Carrie Challoner, Carrie Lee Holmes and Carrie Holmes.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

Typical London Gal

Feeling Anxious when pregnant

So where to begin. I am amazed at the feedback I am getting on this blog site and that you are liking my content, it really means the world to me.

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Check out my new Truth About Parenting video, talking of the same subject above and inspired me to write this post.

When we have a child a whole new set of feelings begin, Will I make a good parent? How will I handle when my baby is crying? What do I do if they get sick? and so you get all these thoughts, and so, want to say it is normal and it is alerting you of what could happen, and so if you begin to go through the questions, then fear not it is normal, and being a parent it is a new responsibility.

Find a quiet space and go for walks. This really was a must for me and avoid parenting programmes. I didn’t and was not what I wanted to watch and if I do have another child at some point no longer will watch anything like that, like One Born Every minute and pregnant and 16, and so when I started to learn about each stage of my pregnancy on Youtube and from books, I felt a lot better and stopped the fear, that having a baby can bring, and it is hormones they are preparing you, so take the feelings in and put them to rest, by educating and not fearing.

Listen to your body. You will feel aches and pains, but doesn’t mean your pregnancy is in danger and the body preparing it self and so if you feel tired, take a nap and if you feel sickness eating dry foods like crackers can be help with Nausea and for me I had really bad indigestion and so would be careful of what I ate and drunk, like fizzy drinks, and drank milk which helped and ate a good varied diet, and be near a toilet, as you can wee a lot. Again never be alarmed and if you are worried talk about it with your midwife. I also had to give up running as it would cause me to be sick and I would get congestion but this was nothing to do with being pregnant but to due to the fact I do get Hayfever, and was pregnant during the summer.

Talk to your baby inside the womb. This will allow your child to get used to your voice and they can hear you, and so to ease anxiousness and bond with your baby. It will help you enjoy your pregnancy and playing music, sounds outside, can help your babies movement in the womb. I am not an expert but my experience and it helped my fears and worry and take in each trimester.

Enjoy the cravings. For me it was Chinese food, and so would take advantage. I went off chocolate and certain meats, but items like Chinese food I made the most of, but not too much as the acidity could effect my indigestion, and yes my son had a lot of hair and could see in my 25 weeks scan.

It doesn’t need to be stressful and can be a happy time. Just take in each step, talk to your Midwife and speak to them of any worries and when your child is born speak to your Health Advisor and with family, and if they offer their help then take them up on it and even contact me as I would be happy to help and the reason why I began this blog was to reach to other parents and help with any challenges that come your way like I have experienced and just have a chat. Please comment in the space below.

I have written some books on parenting to and my experience, and are on Amazon, under the names, Carrie Challoner, Carrie Lee Holmes and Carrie Holmes.

I as I wrote this want to create a series of Anxiousness when being a parent so will talk about when your baby arrives, When they become a toddler, the terrible twos, when your child is away from you and over when they start school.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

Typical London Gal

Habits you grow with from Childhood and in your kids

Lots of my habits have stemmed from my Childhood, like being street wise, and that is a good habit and now my son is learning that, and we go through different street names to help for when he can venture out on his own know where he is.

This has helped me with my sense of direction as my trait there comes from my mum, because it is like the blind leading to blind, and whenever I got lost, she has become the first person I go too. Thanks too having a mobile phone, and thanks to maps on phones.

My sons sense of direction is good and this comes from his dad, and has a brilliant eye for observation and knowing where the park is and this has grown as he had a good memory quite early in his life and he instantly knows as we walk the same routes of where to go and where he can watch the trains, and knowing where the train station is, and it is important that he knows where he is going.

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Doing errands and life skills. I from a young age was domesticated and many of my friend who would visit were surprised by that, vacuuming, cooking, laundry, grocery shopping and clean I just learned. I was quite slow at doing these things, but watching my Nan and my Mum, and from friends, these skills and habits were imbedded in me. . I still struggle with this habit, but I do a reset each week. I am currently doing an Autumn reset check out my blog site https://everyonecanbuildacastle.com This is going through different areas of my life and tidy up, complete tasks and projects, and reshaping my life so it can be better.

He knows where the food goes that we want to buy, and would help put items in the basket, he will tidy up his toys. He often needs reminded but he will without being told, tidy and its habits like that, that should become natural and that for me is a Keyword.

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The other habit I have since being a kid, is being creative and my love of writing came from school and from Play school, and I remember my first day of school, we had to write a story, and the teacher would write it and then you copied. With my son at school it is very different now, but my son can write he just doesn’t always not want to do it. Yet he has improved and is now understands this his how he can communicate to his friends, and gonna make Christmas cards with him this year making sure he writes each week.

I love making cards and I see my son is enjoying this too, and is understanding now why he needs to write and do drawings, and as a kid we would always at school, practice our hand writing.

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My son is beginning to come home from school and change his clothes and does this before he is allowed to play. He has come to learn about what the cooker is for and he will stir his food in the saucepan and where his plates go once finished. I did this at a early age too, and creating a routine which works around your kids, doing the same thing really does help their development and it did for me. The more they do something for themselves the more responsible they will become and this is from my own experience.

The on thing we have been really vigilant on is swearing. Kids will copy this and this is stemmed from my growing up, and yes I still swear but try my hardest not too, when my son isn’t around and replacing it with different no swearing words, as they will take this habit into school and so is a habit that definitely had to watch myself and thankfully he has learned that this is bad habit and I hope I am jinxing, has stopped doing.

It is all about learning and establishing good habits and stop the bad.

Just to let you know I have finished another book I have been writing, and is now published on amazon.com, called Mum&Me and so if you want to a good laugh then this book is for you. Its available on Kindle and Paperback.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

Typical London Gal