Category Archives: Parenting Dilemmas

5 Parental Strategies

 

Hi everyone and welcome to another blogpost. Today I m sharing some 5 Parental Strategies to help you with building your child’s growth and development and relationship:

  1. Allow them to make good choices in life
  2. Be calm and patient
  3. Be clear and precise
  4. Always reach their level to make eye contact
  5. Be honest but allow them to use their imagination

It is always good to set boundaries but  I am a great believer of learning through play and would often let Henry pretend now when plays football to do the commentary as it is good for words and communication.

When doing homework and chores, make it as fun as possible otherwise they will get bored.

Playing games like myself and my friends did, using the archers in the estate where we lived as houses, you could help the kids to build some Lego and do pretend play. It is all part of learning and a great for them to have interaction with you and their siblings.

Strategies help set boundaries for you and them. Please comment below of any further strategies you may have.

Please remember you can follow my Blogposts on WordPress.com and please see my other sites too:

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https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCUDFIqjVKLy7NhtcR6Hy0Tg

My other blog sites are:

https://everyonecanbuildacastle.com/

https://theparentingadventurestipsandtricks.wordpress.com/

https://organize4thebetter.blogspot.com/

Many thanks for reading,

 

Carrie X

 

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5 Half Term Hacks

image for Parental hacks categoryHi all so in today’s post I wanted to share some hacks. I love a good hack and in today’s post I am going to share 5 Half Term Hacks

  1. Have all activities laid out the night before, easy for them to reach like books and homework
  2. Have their clothes laid out and shoes by the door with coats, scarves and hats
  3. Lay out chore charts on the table which they can mark off with stickers. You can get some great chore charts from stores such as Poundland (please see link) or make your own https://www.poundland.co.uk/ 
  4. Use a kids bucket when not used in the summer as extra storage I use my son’s in the kitchen at the moment for my cleaning items in the kitchen
  5. Hang their dirty wellies on clothes hooks once cleaned and washed

Half term can be tricky, but fun too and I will post more about Half term in my next post, but until then many thanks for reading.

Please remember you can follow my Blogposts on WordPress.com and please see my other sites too:

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My Other Blog sites:

https://everyonecanbuildacastle.com/

https://everydaylivingandlifestyle.wordpress.com/

Have a wonderful evening and rest of the week

 

Carrie X

P.S: I also update my Pinterest and social media pages so go ahead and check these out below:

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Half term tears and tantrums

Image I took driving around Richmond Park

Hi all yes it is half term and with the weather like it is, it is hard to know what to do.

We have had a few tears and tantrums whilst having a coffee in Richmond Park, which is one of Britain’s biggest parks and you can see some of London’s buildings from there too. Great place for kids to play some rugby or football or have a run around and get in touch with nature.

Don’t forget there are other national parks in and around London and farms, such Hobbledown and Bocketts Farm or even London Zoo.

Doing time out and getting Henry to sit down and think about his behaviour seems to be doing the trick at the moment when it comes to tears and tantrums, and the other thing we have been disciplined in doing is making sure he does his homework from school.

This is consisting of doing some reading, writing, activities like playing with Lego to get Henry to use his hands more and get in touch with his hand motor skills and playing games like hungry frogs.

I think keeping a routine during the school holidays to be tricky but for us routine works better and it is good to get out earlier in the day rather than later as they can become lethargic and fatigued later on, and this can lead to Henry kicking off.

The other great things to do during half term is to get them to do is to spend the time to grow their independence, for example if they can’t get dressed themselves yet start getting them to do it now, because there is no rush and gets them into a more of a routine when they go back to school or nursery.

I also like the Soft Play activity rooms for Henry we have a few near us in the Rainbow Leisure centre and Leatherhead Leisure Centre, There is the Soft Play in the Once Upon A Time Cafe but this is more for smaller kids.

So what kind of things do you do during half term I’d love to hear please get in touch by commenting below.

Please remember you can keep up to date with my blogs by following me on WordPress.com

please see my other sites too:

You can also sign up to http://www.carriesblognetwork.squarespace.com for news and updates

Here is a link to my Youtube channel:

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCUDFIqjVKLy7NhtcR6Hy0Tg

My Other blog sites are:

https://everyonecanbuildacastle.com/

https://everydaylivingandlifestyle.wordpress.com/

https://theparentingadventurestipsandtricks.wordpress.com/

Many thanks for reading,

 

Carrie X

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Watch “Parenting 101: Tips for Talking to Kids” and “Stop Trying to be perfect” on YouTube

HI AND WELCOME TO BLOGMAS DAY 11!

I so needed to blog today, it was a tough day so far. It was one of those days  where I thought I was doing a good job but turns out that I wasn’t.

However if you too have had one of those days or you also have had that type of day today then just tell yourself,

“you will get through it”

We can often feel as parents that we are getting it right only to find out that we are wrong, because someone else does it this way. You can feel like you can never win, or that your child will not listen to you no matter what.

Please check out these videos below, sharing tips on on how to talk to kids and stop trying to be perfect:

Sometimes as parents we can continuously think we are getting it wrong, but all we can do is do our best, and that goes for most things in life.

We were not born to be perfect we were born to live our lives the best we can and pass on what we know to our children as much as possible!

Check out this video below by Mel Robbins about Stop trying to be perfect. She talks about how she forgot to pick up her son from school and felt terrible, but she had a realization from her son, find out more by watching this video:

I have also written a couple of blog posts in relation to these videos about Effective Communication and Never try to be perfect/create good habits instead.

So I hope if today has not been a good one for you too so far then grab yourself a cuppa when you can, and if you need to go into a room and scream into a pillow then do.

Image result for free images scream into pillow

If you have tips on talking to kids and of times like Mel Robbins when you have felt that you haven’t been the perfect mum and what happened, then please share if you wish to.

You can keep up to date with all my blogs on WordPress.com by following me below.

https://www.carriesrealworld.com/

https://everyonecanbuildacastle.com/

https://everydaylivingandlifestyle.wordpress.com/

https://theparentingadventuresthebirthofmyson.wordpress.com

https://sportsandfitnesspassion.wordpress.com/

I will be back tomorrow for day 12 of blogmas so please lookout for these and I will be posting them on my Pinterest and my social media pages aswell:

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Many thanks for reading,

 

Carrie x

Watch “I’m A Stay-At-Home Mom…Again! || Mayim Bialik” on YouTube! Blogmas day 14!

HELLO AND WELCOME TO ANOTHER BLOG, IT IS BLOGMAS DAY 14!

If you are a “Stay At-Home-mum” or have been like I was 6 years ago when I first had Henry then you’ll know that it can be hard at times, whilst your husbands at work and you have to go it alone.

However if you watch this video below it will remind you how fast they grow. There will come a point when they won’t need you so much, because they become independent and so will not call you so much.

If you were born in the 80’s and the 90’s you may remember a US sitcom called Blossom and also since then has been in the Big Bang Theory.

She does great content on Youtube and I will be sharing more of her videos especially on parenting because I have found them to be really helpful and useful.

It is the wonderful Mayim Bialik, please see her video below:

So if you have any stories you would like to share of being a Stay At Home mum then please share if you wish, you can comment below. 

I will be blogging some more so make sure you watch out and if you like my content then give us a shout.

You can also follow me by clicking below staying up to date with everything that I write and show.

Please see links below of my sites and more will be coming to soon, so keep reading and thank you so far who have given my blogs a like.

https://www.carriesrealworld.com/

https://everyonecanbuildacastle.com/

https://everydaylivingandlifestyle.wordpress.com/

https://theparentingadventuresthebirthofmyson.wordpress.com

https://sportsandfitnesspassion.wordpress.com/

Have a great weekend and many thanks for reading,

 

Carrie X

P.S: All my posts will also be on my Pinterest and my social media sites too.

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Watch “I don’t like being a mom” on YouTube! BLOGMAS DAY 9 blog 2. ITS OKAY!

HELLO AND WELCOME TO BLOGMAS DAY 9! ALL MY BLOGMAS POSTS CAN BE FOUND HERE IF YOU WANTED TO CATCH UP AND READ THESE ASWELL, IF YOU HAVEN’T ALREADY IN THE LINK BELOW!

https://www.carriesrealworld.com 

I have had the following video in my drafts for a while because it hit “INSTANTLY” as soon as I saw the title “SPEAK OUT TO ME” and  I was really determined to today to share this, because it can challenging and true this time of the year.

Now this isn’t saying we don’t love our kids, we do, but there are times when they can be A NIGHTMARE and play up, moan because they don’t want to sit and eat their Christmas dinner and there are many things that people often won’t say, but what others are thinking because it may be misinterpreted, and no matter how much you try to avoid kids from arguing and kicking off, they try to do it.

KIDS WITHOUT BEING TAUGHT CAN PICK UP ON HOW TO PRESS SIBLINGS AND PARENTS BUTTONS TO CAUSE UPSET AND TEARS AND WHEN THEY DO, ITS NOT NICE!

So I wanted to share this video because of this and to show that these feelings are COMPLETELY NORMAL AND IT IS OKAY, WE STILL LOVE OUR KIDS EVERYDAY BUT NOT NECESSARILY IN EVERY WAY!

Image result for free images kids screaming

Check out the video below by Jessica Hover, and she does brilliant videos for parents and subjects that are not always mentioned but they do exist.

She is sharing about why “I don’t like being a mom”.

 

Our children if you show them aswell as tell them, know that you love them, but I do think about the life I once had. Pre-child  I would go to rugby with my friends and be able to stay out without worrying about being back to do bath time or be awake in time the next day for the school run, they were fun times and I do miss them.

Image result for free FUNNY CARTOON images OF PEOPLE HAVING A DRINK

This doesn’t mean I don’t love being with my son, I do, but when they won’t allow you to chat on the phone without them shouting down it or try to grab it from you, those are the moment I don’t enjoy.

ALL JOBS LIKE PARENTHOOD COMES WITH THINGS WE DON’T LIKE AND THAT’S A FACT.

This doesn’t mean I like my child any less, I don’t always like the work or the pooh explosions or the pinch scars, because my son couldn’t watch his TV programme, ITS HUMAN NATURE!

I don’t like everything about blogging, but I enjoy creating the content, I do get a buzz from when I see someone new following me on my blogs, but I don’t always like blogging because of editing and proof reading, I find it tedious.

Image result for free FUNNY CARTOON images OF someone falling asleep at the computer

 

I still love to blog because I love to share tips and tricks to support and inspire others, but that bit of the work I don’t enjoy. THAT’S OKAY!

So I hope that helps you if you feel like “I don’t like being a mum” but feel guilty for feeling that way, DON’T ITS OKAY, YOUR HUMAN AFTER ALL. Our kids don’t always like us, hence why they will kick off in a supermarket or when having a coffee, but when they give you cuddles or you sit and watch a Christmas film you both love and have a hot chocolate without no tears and tantrums, parenting can still be fun and you can still enjoy your children.

I wrote a blog yesterday which can relate to this blog, as I do find this lady empowering and inspiring and you can Use empowerment and inspiration when its just not your day, see below for details:

https://everyonecanbuildacastle.com/2019/12/08/using-empowerment-and-inspiration-when-its-just-not-your-day/

So I hope that this blog has helped you and I will be sharing more as we continue through to Christmas day, for Blogmas.

Check out my other sites below for recent blogmas posts:

https://everydaylivingandlifestyle.wordpress.com/

https://theparentingadventurestipsandtricks.wordpress.com/

https://theparentingadventuresthebirthofmyson.wordpress.com

https://sportsandfitnesspassion.wordpress.com/

Many thanks for reading,

 

Carrie X

P.S: You can also find my posts on my Pinterest and social media pages below too:

Pinterest:

https://www.pinterest.co.uk/carriesrealworl/

 

Social media:

https://www.instagram.com/cazzasrealworld/?hl=en

https://www.facebook.com/carriesrealworld

https://www.facebook.com/Carries-Everyday-Living-and-lifestyle-261704010959953/

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Twitter

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Telling our kids little white lies/keep the fantasy of Christmas alive

BLOGMAS DAY 9!

We tell our kids not to lie, yet we lie to our kids every year.

I was inspired by a friend who said exactly this on Facebook, because she was confused as a child at Christmas because like I was told, NEVER TO LIE BECAUSE IT IS WRONG, we lie to our kids every year around this time.

The story behind Father Christmas came from a man some years and years ago, called St Nicholas who wanted to give children gifts in his local neighbourhood, but it still came from someones imagination and fantasy, to develop the story of Christmas and make Santa the man he is today.

HE IS THE ONLY CHARACTER ASWELL AS THE TOOTH FAIRY, WHO CAN GET AWAY WITH BREAKING INTO FAMILY HOMES AT NIGHT, HAVE FREE MILK OR PERHAPS A GLASS OF SHERRY AND A MINCE PIE, LEAVES GIFTS, HAS A SET OF REINDEER ON THE ROOF AND ONLY WORKS ONE TIME OF THE YEAR!

GOOD OLD SANTA CLAUS IS LIVING THE LIFE!

Here is a great video on Youtube that you can share with your children, sharing The Story of Santa Claus.

Keeping the fantasy of Christmas alive is a great way to help our children with many skills and encourage them to learn as they have fun:

  • Helps use their brain and imagination to create good and positive things, and everlasting memories
  • This in turn can help with their writing skills and concentration
  • Learn life skills by helping with the Christmas food, errands and tiding
  • To give to others less fortunate than them, and share their love and learn about love
  • Reading and making new discoveries
  • Taking turns, thinking, making good choices and working as a team, when playing festive games or sharing toys, building Lego for example
  • Social skills and having lots and lots of fun

We mustn’t forget even if you are not religious the real truth behind why we celebrate Christmas and what it is about, so they can make up their own mind if they wish to believe it or not.

If you don’t want to give them a bible then tell them briefly:

“It started a long time ago before you were born, a little boy called Jesus was born in Bethlehem and were given gifts by three kings and was the son of God.

There are many illustrations now that has information about the real story of Christmas, see link:

http://www.freebibleimages.org/illustrations/christmas-jesus-birth

The one thing that has worn thin with my son and from saying it to other children,

“If you are not good Santa won’t be coming this year”.

My niece even gave me a look as to say:

Image result for free images the words f**k you

Without even saying a word.

They no for a fact that this isn’t going to happen, because REALLY! ARE YOU GOING TO NOT LET THAT CHILD OPEN A GIFT WHEN THEIR SIBLING IS? CAUSE NOT, WHY? BECAUSE GUILT SETS IN AND OF COURSE ITS CHRISTMAS A TIME OF GOODNESS AND CHEER, NOT MATTER WHAT THEY HAVE DONE!

Learning the triggers of a tantrum can help detonate them and stop them.
Triggers:

  • Crossed arms
  • Look of defiance
  • Straight wide open eyes
  • Selective hearing, “Pretending that they can’t hear you when you know they can and did hear what you said but carries on as if nothing was said”
  • Turn their back
  • Stamp their feet
  • Bite their hand in frustration
  • Pull at their hair
  • Turn limp as if suddenly they body had gone floppy grounded to a halt, so even if you try to pick them up, you can’t and they are alive and well, but won’t move and inch

Detonate:

  • Grab their attention immediately to something else that you know will keep them happy and you, before they can start making a fuss. I do this when out and having a coffee if there is a dog for example as often Henry won’t leave them alone or want to leave the shop, I will take his hand, put his coat on at the door, go outside and instantly he has forgotten about the dog
  • Kids will often do the opposite to what you expect and you can do the same when they look like they are going to kick off. Now if Henry begins to chuck stuff around, I will not make conversation, because usually that’s what he wants and can make things worse, and then I can end up having a tantrum too, but calmly pick up the cushions, not making eye contact and continue on with what I was doing,without paying him any attention. He will then, either start to do something more constructive or come over to me looking foolish and as if to say “Why aren’t you saying anything or watching me?” and calm down. I know they say, and I have watched Super Nanny not to do this because it is ignorant parenting, but what I have learned is that kids love it AS MY SON WILL USUALLY LAUGH WHEN I HAVE DONE THIS, when you threaten to take their toy away or taken them to their room with gritted teeth, because they can see it as a signal to cause more mayhem. So when I don’t speak or make eye contact, concentrate my focus elsewhere, he will then come over to me, so he stops causing havoc so then I have gotten him to stop without saying a word, grabbed my attention, and then I will say “Have we finished? Are you ready to behave?” and then he is ready to listen and be good for the rest of the day
  • If they don’t want to take turns or they like my son did the other day when we were playing connect 4 rush trying to put a counter one by one before I have had a go, I will take it out of his hand or “STOP DEAD” and saying clearly, “I’m going to have my go and then you can go next” “Remember its my turn”. You do have to control your voice which I am trying my hardest to do, as kids will test you, but LAY DOWN THE RULES. They have to make it fair because you don’t want them being excluded by children playing games because they aren’t giving other children a chance

Christmas is a time of cheer but also a time for many kids to destroy rooms and toys, and “ANOTHER LITTLE WHITE LIE” and to help remember those Elfs you have around your home this time of the year, use them with a a sign say “BE GOOD OR I WILL BE GONE” and read it out to them so it is clear that if they aren’t good, the good old Elf will say goodbye EARLY.

Image result for free images be good for your Christmas Elf

So I hope this has helped, please make sure you check my other posts on this site and my posts on the links below, and I will blog again tomorrow:

https://www.carriesrealworld.com/

https://everyonecanbuildacastle.com/

https://everydaylivingandlifestyle.wordpress.com/

https://theparentingadventuresthebirthofmyson.wordpress.com

https://sportsandfitnesspassion.wordpress.com/

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X.

P.S: Please check out my Pinterest and social media pages:

Pinterest:

https://www.pinterest.co.uk/carriesrealworl/

Social media:

https://www.instagram.com/cazzasrealworld/?hl=en

https://www.facebook.com/carriesrealworld

https://www.facebook.com/Carries-Everyday-Living-and-lifestyle-261704010959953/

https://www.facebook.com/czavonuk/

Twitter

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What to do when kids try to push boundaries because they can’t have what they want! BLOGMAS DAY 6!

Hello everyone, it is Friday yay and before I start this post I just want to let you now that I have already posted a blog today for BLOGMAS DAY 6 on my main site https://www.carriesrealworld.com

If you are like me and love planners, I love a good picture or video about planners that people have shared, then you will like my blog post today on Carries Realworld about my Work Planner for 2019.

I would also like to share an article (linked below) that I came across on my WordPress news feed, and if you are blog writer too and need some inspiration for posts I would always recommend you check the news feeds that come up as they often have some great news ideas and topics that may be of interest of you.

The article below is a about how a mum who made a Sensory Cushion for her son who has Autism out of bean bags, because he would get very anxious and helps to keep him calm. Honestly truly amazing and shows how the simplest of  hacks like this can make such an impact and now will help other parents and children too, see below:

https://metro.co.uk/2019/12/06/mum-makes-budget-weighted-lap-cushion-4-bean-bags-calm-son-autism-11282232/

***

Today I wanted to write a blog about,

What to do when kids try to push boundaries because they can’t have what they want!

I know for a fact from seeing other children in my life grow up that there are many mums who have experienced these dilemmas and have been mind boggled as to what to do.

Please do not feel I am being negative about parenting because I am not. I love my son to bits but there are times when I have felt utterly helpless and want to shout “HELLO IS THERE ANYONE WHO CAN HELP ME?” and that is one reason why I wanted to write this blog.

I got the idea for this blog because my son today who is off from school because I had to pick him up from school on Wednesday because I wanted to watch something I wanted on the TV instead of him. I had been up early doing some training and whilst he was supposed to be eating his breakfast wanted to make it clear that he wanted football.

He was chucking some magnetic lightweight thankfully letters from his easel, he was jumping on me wanting to give me kisses, which I know it seems like “What how is that disruptive?” because he was literally slobbering me to the point, sorry for TMI but the point of this blog is being truthful, where I was smothered with saliva.

He thinks this is funny because I am going “Errr that’s disgusting stop” as I don’t like to shout or think he can’t express himself and if I keep telling him to stop calmly and not get angry he will stop without me getting cross. In the end the though I sternly said “I am going to watch my programme and then when I am finished then you can watch what you want”.

I MEAN HOW MANY TIMES CAN SOMEONE WATCH MATCH OF THE DAY IN ONE SITTING!

I love my football but we all need a change sometimes.

When he saw that I was making it clear and he wasn’t going to get his way, he did try for a little bit more to be disruptive by jumping and messing around chucking the cushions on our sofa. Then because he saw that I wasn’t going to give in, he eventually gave up and I was able to finish watching a full episode of The Apprentice.

Image result for free images people and children arguing

Children will try to push boundaries that’s part of how they learn what is right and what is wrong.

Nevertheless they need to know that they can’t always have what they want, when they want.

  • This in turn helps them to form good relationships with others at home and outside. After all everyone should be respected.
  • To give people time and space
  • Take turns and share

To help make them make the right choices and not push boundaries is to,

  • however much they try to be disruptive and kick off, grab the remote control or hide it they need to wait and that everyone has the right to have TV time too. For example.
  • Its not always about them. Yes kids should come first when it comes to life decisions, but at the same time you have to make it fair for everyone, yourself included.
  • Show them that playing on your own whilst mummy makes dinner can be fun too aswell as playing with others.

 

When Henry started throwing the letters from is easel when being told a few times,

  • I gave him the chance to see if he would make the correct choice by repeating and making it clear that what he was doing wasn’t good before giving him consequences of what was going to happen if he continued.

This did make him stop and think, but he continued so I followed through what I would do, which was put all the letters in the container they were in and took them all the way and this made him stop again and see that “This is what happens when you do wrong and now I have blown my fun”.

When it comes to kids pushing boundaries and getting kids to behave. You may have to repeat yourself a few times for them to grind to a halt and stop.

You do have to be strong, Henry has sometimes when he hasn’t gotten his way turned aggressive by hitting, he used to bite and pinch which I hope I am not jinking, hasn’t done any biting or pinching for ages, and he often will bite his hand in frustration.

so in following on from my first tip,

    • HOLD YOUR OWN.

That isn’t being unkind or or that they shouldn’t have any control, its so they understand that you are the parent and they need to listen and that you have rules and if they do want something they have to be respectful and kind. When they have listened and not pushed any boundaries by being disruptive then they can have a chocolate or their TV programme on.

  • Teaching patience helps them understand not to push boundaries and will again help them later on in life and building relationships with others.

 

***

During Christmas when kids are playing with their new toys, I bet you that there will be that one child if you have a houseful this Christmas will try to take a toy from another child who is happily playing in their own world and then that child who’s toy has been taken, will then begin to kick off too.

Sharing, doing joint activities where they have to take turns, is the key to getting kids to understand about boundaries because if you have 4 children for example and one child gets to play with a scooter when they other kids can’t, obviously depending on age it can cause friction and jealousy.

  • Give each kid time with each toy, and have a timer. Once the timer has gone, then it is time to swap.

To help my son at school transition from one activity to another they use this timing system and I implement this at home too.

  • If a child still continues to take a toy away from another child, let them know and what helps with me now is getting on my knees so I am eye level with Henry and say “That is not how we share and what you are going to do, is give that back and then when they are finished with that toy, then you can have a turn at playing and fun with it aswell” and encourage them to go over give the toy back by taking them to that other child and have them say “Sorry”.

If they refuse then you say “I am going to take this toy from you and give it back and you will no longer play” and this where timeout or making them be on their just for a few moment or 5 minutes or so, to let them think about what just happened.

This not only helps with boundaries but with fixing relationships too and admitting and being truthful that they were wrong in their actions. I have done the whole thing of asking “Would you like it if I took your toy away from you?” but Henry has not said the answer I want and said “Yeah”.

DOESN’T ALWAYS WORK BUT YOU CAN TRY IT AS SOME CHILDREN WILL RESPOND THESE QUESTIONS AND SAY “no”.

Boundaries can be fixed but the more they teach about when crossing a boundary is wrong the more it will help them to be the good person they want to be and in turn helps them with their wellbeing.

  • If you child does become unbearable to the point you feel that it is your fault and feel you have tried to stop him, but you have no control, don’t beat yourself up. Boundaries pushed or they have completely crossed the line, they can always be fixed and all kids at some point will try to do the same.

I have had bad reports at school and felt that I am some what to blame and felt like “I am trying but not getting it quite right” but children do make up their own minds and choices, and however much we say “Stop” or “Don’t” they will still try.

  • As said in many blogs, you have to persevere, be consistent and try to be on the same page with your school and make sure they are on the same page as you and their behaviour can be fixed.
  • Also many kids without being shown will in some way find their own way if someone else has pushed boundaries and upset them to fight back. It may be the wrong way, but its how they learn how to take control of negative behaviour towards them.

When we upset people, we can often feel upset to because we feel guilt, foolishness and “I’m such a terrible person”, “I should have done this and that” but we are only human at the end of the day and it still important that we let someone know that we aren’t happy about something.

  • If there is an argument or a a disagreement between two or more children, then stay calm and separate them into a different space and let them know what you are going to do and what is going to happen without trying to lose patience so you end up kicking off too, so then you feel bad and “A naughty child”, and allow them to think it through.

I know this may sound easier said then done, but when you take one child into their room or a corner or area, and another in another space. If you speak to them whilst they aren’t kicking off, you won’t always get a clear response and it all starts up again.

Speak to them calmly if not together one at a time and one thing I am trying not to do, is do this in front of others. The reason being I didn’t like it as a child and when an adult would shout at another adult in front of others, you can end up with them being even more disrespectful because they have now been humiliated in front of everyone and made to feel bad.

  • When telling a child off or anyone, you don’t need an audience to do it.

Go through points, example “So she wouldn’t let you play with the Barbie is that right and she called you a name? Okay” and then go through the same with the other child and then if you need time to think it through then do so. I good way of doing this is to say “Right you will both read a book or you can watch your tablets for 5-10 minutes why I help to both figure a solution”.

If you are out in the shops then you can’t always separate so you can say “Right we aren’t going to continue until this stops because you are both getting angry and this in turn is stopping me from getting bits for dinner because you are both arguing, so we aren’t going to say another word until we have finished shopping and then when we get home we can discuss it further”.

When kids are arguing someone is kicking off because they can’t have that chocolate bar it can cause embarrassment and negative thoughts to you, and then you can’t often concentrate, so getting them to focus and help you because they need to understand that this isn’t about them at the moment, helps them understand that at times a chocolate bar or a toy isn’t so important right now and its time to help me “Mummy” for example.

I never want my son to feel that he can’t say how he feels and not take control, because again it is part of how he will learn to be independent. Nevertheless when it comes down to it he needs to learn to behave properly for his own sake, not to push boundaries that will disrupt other people and upset them, and be someone as he is very sociable most of the time and very friendly, to grow as a person even further to continue to form good friendships and gain respect from others himself.

  • teach them about team work and life skills. My son loves to make his own sandwich now and because he has taken the time to make it himself. He will now eat the whole thing without a fuss and without suddenly mucking about putting jam all over the sofa and walls.
  • Team work and life skills are so important, and when they work as a team they will often make the effort to then share. Team work after all is sharing. Doing puzzles, Crafting and Cooking or even playing a sport is a great way to do that
  • it teaches children to work together effectively, communicate and support one another and learn when not to cross a boundary that will effect his relationship and morale of the team.

If they make something they are likely to respect it and take care of it better and show them images from books, flashcards or cartoons of when someone is doing something good, or “This is how we eat nicely at the table because when we don’t eat nicely or wait for people to finish their meal at the dinner table before we begin to get up, makes us all happy and then we can have some playtime afterwards”.

So I hope these tips and tricks help you and your kids to have a great Christmas without having tantrums and arguments as much as possible and I will be posting more and more in the days to come for Blogmas. There will be another post on one of my websites tomorrow, so keep checking my sites below for further details.

You can keep up to date with all my Blogs that I have and will be posting during BLOGMAS by following me on WordPress.com and carriesrealworld. Please see my other sites below:

https://everyonecanbuildacastle.com/

https://everydaylivingandlifestyle.wordpress.com/

https://theparentingadventurestipsandtricks.wordpress.com/

https://theparentingadventuresthebirthofmyson.wordpress.com

https://sportsandfitnesspassion.wordpress.com/

Many thanks for reading,

 

 

Carrie X

P.S: You can also find my posts and other information I share via Pinterest and my social media sites too:

Pinterest:

https://www.pinterest.co.uk/carriesrealworl/

 

Social media:

https://www.instagram.com/cazzasrealworld/?hl=en

https://www.facebook.com/carriesrealworld

https://www.facebook.com/Carries-Everyday-Living-and-lifestyle-261704010959953/

https://www.facebook.com/czavonuk/

 

Twitter

https://twitter.com/carrie82434764

Blogmas for kids and parents

Hi all I hope Saturday is going well for you so far. This year I am doing Blogmas, so as of tomorrow I will be posting a blog everyday on either of my various sites, including this one up until Christmas day (25th Dec).

Here are the links to my other sites:

https://www.carriesrealworld.com/

https://everyonecanbuildacastle.com/

https://everydaylivingandlifestyle.wordpress.com/

https://theparentingadventuresthebirthofmyson.wordpress.com

https://sportsandfitnesspassion.wordpress.com/

It is going to be tough but I really wanted to do this as I still got so many things I would like to share before Christmas and before the end of the year.

If there is a topic you would like me to post or there is a favourite topic I have already shared but you would like me to post more of then please let me know. Any suggestions can be left in the comments section below.

You can keep up to date on all my blogs by following me on WordPress.com.

I also have a Pinterest page and social media, where I share many things on these too. Please see the links to these below:

Pinterest:

https://www.pinterest.co.uk/carriesrealworl/

 

Social media:

https://www.instagram.com/cazzasrealworld/?hl=en

https://www.facebook.com/carriesrealworld

https://www.facebook.com/Carries-Everyday-Living-and-lifestyle-261704010959953/

https://www.facebook.com/czavonuk/

 

Twitter

https://twitter.com/carrie82434764

Have a great rest of the day and many thanks for reading,

 

Carrie X

Watch “How to Get Through Christmas as a Single Mum l Life in the Cottage” on YouTube

This is another great video talking about How to Get Through Christmas as a Single Mum.

No I’m not a single mum but appreciate that there are and have friends who are too and being someone who has often struggled being a two parent family don’t know how some parents do it single handily.

Not only that when my parents got divorced Christmas did become very difficult and as a child you feel guilty about spending Christmas with one parent and not the other, so I can’t imagine how I would feel if I had to be without my son and if me and my husband split and Henry had to be choose.

Please see video below:

If you have any further tips on single parenting then please share by leaving a comment below.

You can keep up to date with all my blogs by following on WordPress.com.

I also write on these sites too:

https://www.carriesrealworld.com

https://theparentingadventuresthebirthofmyson.com

https://everyonecanbuildacastle.com

https://everydaylivingandlifestyle.wordpress.com

https://sportsandfitnesspassion.wordpress.com

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie x