Planning Your kids future

It is time for me to look for secondary schools for my son Henry because his school wants us to choose now because of getting a place and what is going to be suitable for his needs.

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The school he goes now is a LAN school because he has ADHD, possible autism because the doctor when we last saw him said he could be, and has development delay. This his third school because the others said they couldn’t reach his needs initially when they said at first they could, and has been a battle, to be heard and for them to find somewhere suitable. He is a good kid, he will play up but he can is respectful and has a kind heart. Its his communication he still struggles with and not making conversation.

So is it certain that we have to prepare for his future, and meet his needs need to start now, and now he goes to a holiday club during school holidays and clubs at the weekend, and now goes to an afterschool club has really helped him with that.

The important things are money, dressing, being able to cook, follow hygienic habits and communication.

Then there is interests and hobbies and life skills. Henry has been interested in cooking, but he will quickly lose interest. His concentration has got better, he will sit down and read, but he loves his sport, and I am not going to stop that. I want him to be happy and continue to do the things he loves, but monitoring what he consumes, that will teach to be careful online too, for when he becomes an adult.

The more you teach them when they are younger the more they will continue, and learn about time keeping, how to keep places nice and tidy and practice too hygiene.

Practicing good eating habits and excellent table manners.

Taking turns when playing games and good listening and paying attention.

It is all about making sure they are somewhat prepared for when they venture out into the big wide world and building their life skills, to have good solid relationships and communicate correctly and are heard.

So I hope that you are finding the blogs helpful and thank you to those already subscribed and if you are not would encourage you to do so, and then you will be notified when I post a blog on this site, and check out my Pinterest and my social media platforms where I share my content and other blogs and content I publish each week.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

Helping children to concentrate

So not sure if you have read my other blogs but my son has ADHD and so he finds it hard to concentrate on one thing for very long. He has gotten better, but he gets so easily distracted, so here are some tips I have learned that you may find useful too.

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Learning at home: If you do home schooling then set the scene so there is no easy distraction. I make sure the TV is off, the lighting is okay and then once they finish learning, like reading or writing, then they can play.

Travelling: Henry was pretty good when it came to travelling, only a few times have I have had problems but if they are restless then bring a toy with you, download some apps if they have a tablet or a book, just something that will help you and them enjoy the journey as you can wish you had stayed at home.

Eating: With learning set the scene. When Henry was a baby I would put on the tennis or Countdown. As my son got older we would have our son eat before we had our dinner, but in my experience if you are eating too with no distraction, then the chances are they will stay at the table or have them do an activity like drawing, especially if you are eating out.

Playing games: Just a few moments ago we were playing cricket for a bit, and this morning we played basket ball and table tennis in a local park, but soon after my son wanted to carry on scootering through the park to go to the supermarket, but with my mums help set a challenge to hit the ball across the table tennis table 5 times, and so setting challenges, can really help them want to continue. When my son finds something difficult he will tend to shy away from it, so keep it simple at first and try not to make it too competitive as learning the skill and getting the right technique, is more important and can increase the challenge, once they have got the basic understanding of doing the activity.

At first my son wasn’t interested in his scooter and he will lose interest for a bit, but then will shortly want to play it again, and give praise each time they have done some learning, been good travelling, eating nicely and playing activities and then they will think wow okay let me do that again, rather then be put off.

Please check out my books The Parenting Adventures pregnancy to the first 9 months and The Parenting Adventures Baby to Toddler years. They are available on Amazon under my name Carrie Challoner.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

Looking forward to the year ahead

As we get to the end of another 6 weeks of summer holidays, next week it is all systems go again, and so looking forward to the year ahead, has many dilemmas in front of it, like looking for a new school for Henry to go to next year, and getting him somewhat prepared for the new set of learning tools he has to do for this year.

I do think that going on the amount of homework that my son had to do last year, it is only going to mount up, so on Monday and Tuesday, will consist on doing some last minute homework, that he can have completed ready for when he begins school again on Wednesday of next week.

I think as soon as you know that you have a week to go, it is time to set a plan and have everything ready in time, so there is no last minute dashes and be panic free.

My lists have been written and now it is just about getting everything together. The one thing I am looking forward to, is having my time between the school drop off and pick up again, so I can do my work without interruption, instead of having to fit it in during the evening, which I have had to do a lot during the school holidays.

I think Henry is looking forward to going back as from when the school holidays began, he has kept asking to go back to school, and so I think he will go in no problems, I just hope he can catch up on his learning and not be so behind like he was last year.

I do feel somewhat under pressure because with Lockdown we haven’t had time to look at other schools, but now will have that time again, it is applying for a new school come next year in time, and see the schools that are for specialist kids with ADHD and development delay. So less kids per class, but then it is getting Henry used to going their instead, it may be huge transition again for him, as he will need to form new friendships and get to know the teachers again.

When a child has ADHD I find doing short spells of sit down learning to be more beneficial than long hours of learning and setting it out, so he knows this is what we are doing now, and if they do that then you can choose what to do next, to be the best approach.

Also when out and about like we have done, going through the different numbers of houses, and seeing what bus numbers we can see, spotting different coloured cars, has been really effective in his learning, every bit does count, and make it fun rather than being too strict.

The other thing you can try is extend the hours of how long they can sit down for each time, to help with their concentration, gradually and let them have a choice as said above, as this helps with their communication and make choices, and in turn you get to know what their main interests are and how you can import other areas into their learning that they struggle with, but can learn in a different way so they become interested.

Just do what you can and do communicate with your childs teacher to let them know where your child is at, with their learning, so they can be on the same page as you to help with your childs learning.

So I am going to end this blog here and will be adding more as we get nearer to the new school year.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

The things you need to think about when your child is starting school

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Hello and welcome to another parenting blog. On Monday I wrote a blog on my related parenting blog site, about my son going up to year 2 at school. So if you would like to read this, then please follow this link:

https://theparentingadventuresthebirthofmyson.wordpress.com/2020/08/24/henry-going-into-year-2-at-school/

In this blog I have put together things to think about when your child is starting school:

1. Are they fully toilet trained. It can be a long process, but once you are there, then it is another milestone to tick off on your list. Henry in his first and second year, had a few accidents where is he missed the bowl or had an accident because he didn’t say he needed the toilet. So we got into the process of him doing so, and I packed some spare bits and pieces, like pants, trousers etc just in case. The one thing I have started doing is teaching my son Henry how to wee standing up over the toilet, rather than him sitting down, and so far it has been a success. If they do struggle then tell the teachers to let them know, so they can help your child prompt when they need to go, as they can be shy at first when needing the toilet.
2. Can they dress themselves. With my son Henry he can do it, but chooses not to, and can be lazy. So I try to get him to try and stay beside him why he tries, without assisting him to much. Not always easy when in a rush, but some of the time, and sometimes he has fussed because we have stepped in and helped him, so let them try to dress themselves as it will be good if they can , so they can do this independently at school
3. Are they able to read properly yet. I think if you begin to read to your child at an early age, helps them read and understand words a lot younger, so if there are notices up or things they need to read to do certain activities, the more they don’t get frustrated and not do as they are asked. I find that when you put words with pictures, helps with their association of things and know what words mean, and stops them from getting frustrated when they can’t communicate. I have written more about this as you continue down this list of things.
4. Sharing and interaction. Can they play nicely with other children and share toys? Children need to understand that the items they get to play with at school isn’t theirs and for all the children in their class to play with aswell. One way I would go about doing this, to help them play at school happily and nicely, when they have other children to play with before they go to school, to allow each child to play with a toy that is popular for a certain amount of time, and then they must give it to another child to play with, in a nicely manner. Always make sure, especially now since COVID, that children wash their hands after playing with a toy, and that the toy is cleaned, so it can be shared without the spread of germs, and as kids have a tendency to put things in their mouths, explain to them before they play with the toy, not to put it into their mouths to prevent germs being spread
5. Can pack their bags by themselves. This is going to be my new implementation with Henry this year, because kids need to start as soon they become more aware, more independent. So give your child a list of what they need to pack, be with them so they know where to find items in the home and have all items laid out, put in place where they can then put it into their bag for school. Once they start to do this, it will be like walking come naturally and saves you as the parent time so you can do other things, like getting our own bag ready for the next day
6. Know the school routine. So the routine for school is a massive transition, because nurseries can be much more flexible on time, but with school they must (in the UK) wear uniform, be there on time and do more learning than play, especially after Reception and they go into Year 1 and have a more structured day. So to help them to prepare for school have them in a routine of getting up early, dressing themselves, packing their bags, know the school route and how long it takes and what they must do independently once they are in school.
7. Communication. Having kids learn about how to communicate correctly can take its time, but it can be helped through music, reading and writing. Instead of them pointing or have them take you to something they want, try and have them tell you what it is they want, as this will help them at school. Asking if they can go to the toilet, if they can play with a certain toy, or do a certain activity. The more they can speak and say what is they want, helps them to not be aggressive, which they can do when they can’t communicate correctly and can get frustrated because they can’t say what they want, and them feeling isolated because their speech is not fully developed. If your are worried about their speech then do tell your child’s doctor or health visitor, as they can arrange for your child to have speech therapy, which Henry has at school once a week and before he went to school and really helped a lot
8. Never be silent as a parent and ask questions. It is a massive transition for us when our child starts school, aswell as your child, so if you have any concerns raise them. What Henry’s school did , was home visits before he and his fellow pupils began their first year at school. My concern was Henry running out of the school premises, because he has often done that, seen a door open to the outdoors and run out. So if you have any worries, then do ask about them to help give you have reassurance, that your child will be okay at school
9. Know colours. A lot of schools will have signs up in different colours for all the parents, teachers and kids to see. Like school values, and know example when crossing a road which is important for when you and them walk to school, know what the red light means, the yellow and the green, to help them get to school safely, and learn to follow the school values.
10. Read and understand people and school kids emotions. This will help them with building relationships at school, because kids like us can have off days, and if a child isn’t wanting to be bothered, then it is important your child understands that, and give that child some space, and then talk to them again once they are happy and want to speak to you. Henry is a very cuddly child and can often invade personal space, so I have had to keep telling him that he can still be nice but from a distance.

So I hope I have covered everything, and I hope if you still have some holiday left before school you have a good one and remember to stay safe .

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

When kids run off and children go missing

 

Yesterday I had the fright of my life. I was in Poundland in Putney, London when all of a sudden I let go of my son’s had for literally a second and he sprints out of the shop door.

I then put back the item I was taking off the shelf and run after him, but couldn’t see him or what direction he took. My heart was in my mouth as Putney is a big town and lots of people, so he could have gone anywhere.

Luckily this lovely lady came and saw that I was somewhat distressed and knew that I was looking for a child, and said to me”Don’t worry we will find him” and she grabbed a security officer who was about to radio to another security guy to look for him.

We went back to Poundland and luckily he had returned, but I was at this point out of my whitsend, and boy did I tell him off, not screaming at him but to the point he was shaking from head to foot as I honestly thought for a minute I had completely lost him and did not know what to do.

I thought that he was well passed that stage of childhood, off running off and was going to write about on my other parenting blog how he is much more able to walk with me without needing to hold my hand and stay by my side, but after yesterday’s events, it made me see that when it comes to kids there is no knowing what they will do sometimes, and you do have to stay on your toes at all times.

As said Putney is quite a busy town with a very large busy road, and near the river too, so who knows what could have happened if I hadn’t been helped.

I am so grateful for other mums and parents because at the time you think you are the only one who this has happened to but it isn’t, and the lady that initially helped me knew exactly what to do, and tried to keep me calm whilst we looked for him.

I remember once when I was a kid I without telling my parents went to play inside someone elses home and so when my mum came to find me she couldn’t and then suddenly there was a search party looking for me, and then when she found out, of course I got a bollocking.

Of course at the time I was unaware of what distress I caused, until now I am a parent myself and when a child does go missing it is a parents worst nightmare; and I have had dreams where Henry has gone missing and couldn’t find him, so after yesterday I am going to make sure that he holds my hand at all times or stays close to me, if not we don’t go out.

I do feel at times you do have to be tough with children so they understand that if they run off it is dangerous and makes us all sad and unhappy, and there was another lady who saw me burst into tears afterwards, who told my son that he mustn’t do that because he had scared me so much.

I now get why my parents were so vigilant in knowing when and where we were going, because a child can go missing within a second and if there are lots of people around who knows where they could be.

Anyway, thankfully as said my son did return to where he ran from, but it did shake my up today and so we stayed local and in a park I know he won’t run out from.

If you are in a park please do the courtesy thing and put the lock on the gates just in case, as I have seen an even smaller child some weeks back who ran out of the gate, when his mum had been busy pushing another child on the swing.

Remember that parks are public areas and we should all do the common sense thing and that is,

• To watch our kids all the time
• Make sure they don’t walk in front of a moving swing
• Stand to close to a merrygoround as I seen kids get hit by one of these in my Estate where I used to live in Hammersmith
• You make sure that there isn’t another child at the bottom of a slide before your child slides down it
• Keep gates closed and shut at all times.
• That children don’t get too close to each other now because of COVID 19 and they wash and sanitize their hands before and after using the equipment and using the gates in the park

The more we try to keep ourselves and our children safe the more we can focus on them having a good time and some fun, without going missing or getting hurt.

I have created a new printable about Parenting Dilemmas and how to deal with them:

PARENTING DILEMMAS AND HOW TO DEAL WITH THEM

Many thanks for reading,

 

Carrie X