Stop feeling guilty as a parent

Why do we put so much pressure and guilt on ourselves?

A question I ask myself all the time. I am fed up of feeling guilty. I know I am a good person, its just at times I feel I need to reach out and express how I am feeling and what is going on with my life to get it out of my system and to help others who may be going through the same thing.

Why is that such a crime?

I wrote a similar blog some time ago, see below:

Do What You Got To Do And Stop Feeling Guilty

At the moment things are not great but I am keeping my head up high ignoring the critters and trying to be the best person I can, trying to make a living with my blogs, but yet with some people that appears to be wrong, and yet they are okay to say how they feel towards me.

As far as I am concerned it is two way street. As a parent I often feel guilty but I think why, my son is in no distress, he is still very cheerful and is full of life. 

I wrote a blog about:

How to support your kids through a marriage break up

It is a topic that is very common and hard to deal with at times, but when people get involved who has nothing to do with it, makes it worse and you end up being the one who carries the guilt.

Why?

I never judged them when they were going through a marriage break up, and when my mum and dad got divorced it was tough, hence why I moved away in the end, because I just couldn’t face it anymore.

I now feel the same… driven away.

This may be hard for people to read, perhaps because people can go into denial and pass the buck, but at the end of the day, why should I be given emotional black mail when if the tables were turned I would never dream of reacting the same.

Not one person can really get to grips with how another person is feeling only they know and judging other people is a no no in my book.

Just because it is something they wouldn’t do doesn’t make it wrong, so stop judging, stop making other people feel guilty and let people bring up their children as they wish, and stop the pressure and the guilt tripping, when we all know how hard it can be, to be a parent.

Many thanks for reading,

 

Carrie X

 

 

 

How to support your kids through a marriage break up

Hello and welcome to another parenting a blog.

Recently my husband and I have split up, and it hasn’t ended well, because a lot of things have been going on, and as always there are always those people who take sides and blame you.

They do this without them knowing the full story and jumping to conclusions.

A marriage breakup is caused by both parties and isn’t one sided. The father of my son has betrayed me and it has been tough, as now his dad sees him every weekend.

This blog is How to support your kids through a marriage break up. Don’t slag each other off in front of your child, and speak to each other in private.

At the moment I am in the place where I am unable to face my ex-husband because of what has been going on, which I can not proof, but at the same time respecting him being that he is still Henry’s father.

So keep it civil as much as possible and used delegating duties like my mum who is taking Henry over to see his dad, or his dad will pick him up.

Let the child choose who they wish to be with and don’t hold a grudge because of it. The child’s interest should come first and just let them see that you will support their needs as much as possible.

Ignore third parties, but do talk to someone yourself, because as parents and adults we need support too, and marriage break ups effects everyone.

The time it will be tough will be on seasonal holidays, but I know we will get through it and that, Henry may need to change schools, but that is up in the air at the moment and it important to concentrate on the now.

So remember when there is a marriage break up to look after your kids and talk to them about it too.

Many thanks for reading,

 

Carrie X

 

Teaching kids to read

Hello and welcome to another blog. Today I am talking about Teaching Kids to Read, because I think it an important skill to teach.

They need to learn to read for their own wellbeing, and so it is important children read 3-4 times a week, to understand words and their meaning.

• Henry loves a good book and so do I. To begin try simple stories and rhymes, and books with just pictures without the words, and go over what they think is happening in each picture.

The one thing reading a book used to do, was calm Henry down, because when he was younger would often be quite grumpy after his nap in the afternoon, and it took reading a book calmly and softly, with music, to calmed him, and he would be happy again.

• One way of getting Henry to identify words with sounds and pictures, was by using flashcards aswell as books.

Learning a word is one thing, but knowing what it means is another.

Henry knew from me reading to him what simple words like “Lunch” meant “Come here”, and getting him to read from an early age has really made huge difference. I find it helps with pronunciation, writing and they becoming more engaging.

• Practicing reading by using Phonics books. Henry’s school has provided him with a couple of these books and what they do is help with the sound of the word.

Example: C__U__P

• Use wall charts with words, letters, numbers and pictures. Great investment and Henry uses these a lot when learning at home, to help identify words and what they mean.

Please check this link for an example:

The one thing Henry would do is jump words in sentences so the next tip is,

• Get them to say a sentence which they are stuck on a few times before moving on, and break it down for them. Doing the phonic books are great for this and then they will become fluent in reading those books
• Let them choose a story from their collection, and to help do a silly voice or accent to help keep them engaged and get them to read a few larger sentences in the book aswell
• Invest in a Easel a great tool to put up words, and the one thing we did was practice a word a day, and what it meant.
• Use seasonal celebrations to help with their  reading, so read an easter book or a book about Christmas. Helps keep their momentum to read at a high, and Henry will often just pick up a book now and try and read it himself.

So I hope you are coping okay with this Lockdown, it can be boring even though yes it is important, but doing different activities like reading, can help break down the day.

Many thanks for reading,

 

Carrie X

 

 

 

 

 

How to deal with a child’s anger

Henry rarely gets angry but watching a video by Mel Robbins inspired me to write this blog, because when he has been angry it has been tough going.

To protest he will sometimes begin to cry, throw things, pinch or bite.

1. First off, try and calm them down by saying “I know you are angry this is what we are going to do” and give him options, “You listen and I will let you have that toy, but you must stop it or if you continue to be angry it will be a no”
2. Get down to their level and make eye contact with them, and don’t shout try the Mel Robbins 5 Second rule and try to detour the negative reaction in them.
3. Then leave them to calm down, as it important they learn to be independent in this factor for when he may get angry when they are older and at school. They need to learn how to defuse their own anger
4. Take them to a quiet spot and away from the situation if out and about
5. Sometimes it can be due to boredom so take them out, go for a drive and get some well earned fresh air

Seeing your child getting angry is never pleasant but you can by following above help to defuse the temper tantrum, and get on with your day.

Please share if your child has ever gotten angry and what you did to defuse the situation. You can keep up to date with my blogs by following me one WordPress.com

Many thanks for reading,

 

Carrie X