What I have learned since becoming a parent

Becoming a parent is a culture shock but a miracle at the same time and I have learned the power of the body and what it can do, which is producing another human being. We as women and men should celebrate that.

I think we don’t give ourselves enough credit as parents and still think “Am I doing the right thing?” and my son is breathing and loves playing different sports and is full of beans, so we, Henry’s dad, my mum and step dad, along with other friends and family who have helped, haven’t done a bad job.

It is good to have others, like other parents support hence why I started this blog.

Sometimes you have to improvise, like Henry wanted to have a score board for when he plays football, and watches a lot of sky sports at the moment and used word to create one, but in doing that I learned to let him find things on his own, within reason, because he found a live scoreboard, and have no idea of how he found one, but kids, and this another thing I have learned, will use their initiative and build their knowledge and understanding. I do monitor on what he watches on his table, as there are videos that attract kids but aren’t child friendly, like eating challenges and sports.

They will copy so you do have to be vigilant, and letting go, as when they get older they will start to move away which is hard to think about, but for them to be independent you do have to allow more freedom and unwrap the cotton wool, that we often can put around them.

My son is now ten years old and thinking about his development, being that he has development delay and ADHD, it is challenging, but working with him instead of for him and on his own, depending on what it is, is a better strategy because it helps him to work with others, and when it is right for him to do things for himself.

It can take time in knowing about how to communicate to your child as it is unique to each child, because some children can have fear in talking, and not share what they understand.

You can’t see into their minds only what you observe and what they tell you at times. With my son he still won’t tell me what he did at school, and has to be prompted. I was the same, I just wanted to forget school because I struggled with it and I am not a qualified teacher, so have had to learn on my own what works and doesn’t.

I have learned that when it comes to shopping to have him push the trolley with me, otherwise he will put up a fuss in the middle of the supermarket and I am glad that he wants to be responsible, and stop him picking up bits we don’t need, as it could be very expensive shop, and doesn’t like it when I check out the clothes. Is he being a typical boy?

He is in bed being the morning and his sleeping habits have changed, he will sleep in more now and kids change a lot, as they grow and is hard to keep up.

So, I hope you like this blog and thank you to those who have subscribed to this blog site and please check out my Pinterest where you can follow me too, and have lots of my content and I do post on Instagram, Facebook and twitter too:

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Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

Getting kids to eat their food and enjoy it

As a kid myself I was super fussy and couldn’t have food touching each other on a plate and there were lots I didn’t eat. This changed as I got older but could be hard work as I liked plain food and wouldn’t eat a lot of chocolate which is good but would eat crisps.

Photo by August de Richelieu on Pexels.com

When I would go round to a friends houses I would feel anxious about having a meal and felt this inner dread in case it was something I didn’t like, but didn’t want to appear ungrateful. Thankfully my son likes many foods. He did go off vegetables and when it came to a sandwich like, Ham he would take it out and just eat the bread. Yet he has tasted curries, not the shop but the food, and Chinese, and wasn’t overly keen but gave it a try.

Cooking a meal together can help, and I showed a cookery book on Youtube and got a lot of views and so check it out: https://youtu.be/zMu_MGX5uBc

Now he will eat vegetables, but he is obsessed with chocolate and so had to limit his in take and really trying to not allow too much snacking, but still make nice meals and a variety.

Teaching kids to cook can be so beneficial and he likes to get involved and we do have weekly favourites, but no longer restricted and just put it on their plate even if they don’t touch it, as their taste buds can change, and along as they are drinking and eating something is important. I think it can stress us up when they are fussy and you feel mean when to persuade its good and they point blank push it away.

I had times I’d have to take 5 minutes to leave the room, when my son would cry and refuse. So would use meals like sausage and mash and blend it down and same with roast dinners and then he was fine, and making your own food can save you a lot of money.

Porridge with banana or Weetabix, or baby yogurts can be great for breakfasts and keep it simple as they begin to wean.

Take note of the meals they like and didn’t, along with allergies and if out and you are worried about then bring some food with you and if eating out check prior to going of the food they serve and if they do a kids menu.

Thank you for reading,

Carrie X

Cheat Sheet: take time out for yourself

Please check out this weeks cheat sheet, to help you Take time out for yourself. It is so important to have me time, especially as parents, because sometimes we forget to, so make it a must that you schedule this time.

getting-some-time-to-yourselfDownload

Many thanks for reading

Carrie X

Keeping kids safe in the winter

Hello and happy new year! So it is really cold now, and my son hates wearing a jacket or coat. He detests anything that has a hood, so a bit tricky when going out, and never feels the cold.

Photo by Tatiana Syrikova on Pexels.com

My son, since he was a baby has always had a good body temperature, but I know when it is super cold because he will, like last weekend, we went to play some football, wanted his jacket done up, and kids will let you know how they are feeling. He naturally been wearing a hat, usually mine, but has decided on his own to wear a hat, and you can’t force kids, So never fear, your child will see it for themselves of if they should wear their coat and jacket on. Not saying you shouldn’t care but stop feeling like a bad parent when they won’t put on a jacket when it is cold, and allow them to realise why they need to layer up, rather than nagging as from experience this will makes then resist even more.

The other thing is not to put the heating on too high, because they can overheat, and to help that is to invest in a room thermometer, which tell you what temperature of the room, and not near any radiators, or windows if possible because of the draft, and not to cover them too much when going to bed, or they take naps still, and when in their push chair.

Kids can get clammy, and sweat so if they are getting too hot then take a layer off, but if they are running around and not cold, once they stop play their body heat will drop, so then have them covered up and that they are non slip shoes on, when walking on icy pavements and paths.

Thank you for subscribing, and if you new that welcome. I hope my blogs help you and please give me feedback, as this helps my blog grow, and check out my Youtube channels and I share a lot on Pinterest, Facebook, Instagram and Twitter. Please see links below:

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Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

Can we be too hard on our kids worrying about eggs on the floor?

This morning it took me a while to start the day on a happy note, I was super grumpy which I think was because of my Menstrual Cycle, and Henry wanted to crack his own egg for breakfast and it went everywhere, but was cleaned up but then he began mucking about and I told him off and did raise my voice which I hate doing, and felt terrible. Kids test us and he did get upset, but I didn’t want egg everywhere and he nearly knocked his scrambled egg with toast off his plate.

I love my son out of this world but I feel often that I am still battling with the unknown, and finding certain situations tough. My son does have real ADHD, and so getting him to sit still can be a task, and eating his breakfast without watching his tablet.

I do give in to make life easier but is that wrong? Should I be a lot harder on him?

We have a lot of fun together and once I came alive everything was good again

Kids test your patience and I know I am not the only mum who almost had egg everywhere, it just cleaning up and I am not a fan of cleaning, but if he had yelled at me like I did to him, I would have told him off for that so not right that I do it and so I need to not get worked up but stay calm.

It takes me a lot to shout but still not an excuse and so I apologised and gave him a hug and a kiss and moved on.

I don’t like to be yelled because it makes me think, “Well I won’t talk to you anymore”, there is never a positive. If he did put his egg everywhere I would have wiped it up and made it again, so it wasn’t really now looking from the outside of this morning , a big deal.

He still ate his breakfast and enjoyed it, he still got dressed, I got his lunch ready for today along with his bag and I did my errands, and packing, as my husband is picking us up to stay in Epsom for a few days as it is my husband’s birthday, and tidied up.

At the moment he moans a lot and is challenging as he didn’t want to go to his holiday club this morning but when he didn’t go he would see the children playing and want to join in and it helps limit his time watching his tablet. Kids need fresh air, and do different activities, and be with other kids and play new and different games and so we go on walks, train journeys and buses, visiting different places local to us and exploring. I do allow him to choose what he’d like to do within reason, but being extra hard to stop the moaning because it can be too much. We play games like matching pairs, that he loved since a baby, snakes and ladders. bowls, tennis, cricket, football and darts, so quite a lot, and hide and seek, but he will tell me where he is, so still learning this one. Yet he will still moan.

I will stop and say “Ok then we won’t play on and his line at the moment, “I will get my own one” and I reply “That is your one so are we going to play or not?”.

I chat with him but not often sure if he is taking it in, but then surprises me. Like when we went out and his crossed the road on his own and safely so he is understanding about these important things, but then will be defiant, but all kids are and kids will put up their guard, and like time and space to understand why he needs to dress himself and go to the toilet without needing assistance, and chop his own food. He will often say “I don’t want to do it myself”, at which I say “Well your not a baby anymore” as he doesn’t like to being called Baba any more and so I will ask “Are you a big boy now?” and he will say yeah and with reductants will do it.

I see Henry’s moaning a phase, like biting his hand which he used to do when he was unhappy or feeling frustrated when he couldn’t properly communicate correctly, or bash his own head and putting his hand down the toilet and wetting, so know that the way my son feels at the moment will change and stop myself from moaning too.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

Getting through the school holidays

I did create a Easter printable but because it has been half term I couldn’t get it done on time so will save it, and I have found it hard to get things like that done. This is what inspired me to write this blog, because it is real life. I am never going to cover over the cracks, because it is hard to keep kids entertained especially for two weeks and there is another half term around June and then it is the summer holidays.

Photo by Jill Wellington on Pexels.com

This is not to say that I don’t enjoy spending time with my son, I love him to bits and is my priority, it is just that its hard to plan when especially when it comes to money. There is travel and as always there are engineering works being done this Easter holiday and glad that we got things done in terms of travelling to places the first week as the second week it will be bus journeys and avoiding places that get busy, which living in the city is tricky.

So I check first of what is on locally and what new experiences we haven’t done or places locally that we haven’t visited, and can I get there by bus if I can’t use the trains.

I check the weather and what facilities they have. I make sure that my son and I have gone to the toilet in case these facilities are limited, and will bring snacks with me, but most museums have facilities inside, but buying food from them can be expensive so I will do a packed lunch and have dinner when we get home.

We was going to go to Battersea Park, and it completely free, they do have a Go Ape there, which you do have to book, and a zoo which you have to pay to see, but if you didn’t want to do that it is a still a great park to go to and plenty of places to sit in the sun with a picnic and can walk along by the river and they have really built it up with shops and restaurants and it just a pleasant area to go. I decided we will will do this in the second week and today go to a local park and wall along the river. Its jus nice to be outside, especially when it is sunny and warm.

Remember your sun cream when it starts to increase in temperature and plenty of water to hydrate.

I do plan ahead, and still learning to be save and budget better for these holidays, and mainly for when my son goes to a holiday club to Youngstars and set money aside for this, but currently budget per holiday, as it depends on how may days and weeks it is.

I used this holiday to get my son’s hair cut, buy new shoes for when he goes back school and trainers. I would suggests Clarks as a good place to get your child’s feet measured and to get my son’s hair cut there are, where I live in Wimbledon a few places we can go and you don’t need to book, and the price differs for the week and days, and already budgeted for that, but not for the holiday club so going to set a system to help myself on that, and set aside money for that, and I do have savings so thinking that I will be use this for that as haven’t been sure of what I want to use my savings for.

I do budget each week now that has helped and if I can pay for things with cash then I will, you can check online if a train stations has lifts and if they are working checking the different train lines and some trains depending on where you are travelling will have toilet facilities on them and not all stations in London have toilet facilities, and would say to invest in a portable changing mat.

If your kids are older and toilet trained but you fear accidents, there are portable potty’s you can buy and the one we had was flap packed, and easily to carry around. I do still take a change of clothes and wipes, of course not flushing down he toilet but in an appropriate bin.

I have been using the evenings to write my blogs and when my mum has been looking after him in the day and if you can get help and relatives offer to help you get errands done take them up on it. My son is now responsible enough to play whilst i have a shower but younger children when you have older children can be a juggling act, and so if you can hav support then never refuse.

I hope you have already had a good Easter holiday, and that it continues.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

Parenting on the go and how to get through the end of term/Breaking up for the summer holidays

So around this time is when the schools get ready to shut down for the Summer Holidays, even though some schools hire out the school for kids to join the summer clubs that operate on them, and they can be good so why not apply for your child to go.

Henry my son did and last year when I booked for him to join a club outside of school he really enjoyed it.

Kids feel it by the time it gets to this part of the school year, and can be a little grumpy when they know they have a few weeks left. So would you being the parent, as we go into Autopilot and try to plan for them but when I did this I then didn’t do all those things,

They need to rest and this is the perfect time, during the summer holidays to do that, so why not arrange a playdate to enjoy the summer weather and your kids can play happily in your garden of course if you have a flat not possible but can have a playdate in a local part somewhere.

Do you need to stick to a routine still?

Yes but you can let them sleep in as they can find the end of the a school year tiring, the same being a parent, and also have some days where they can have Pancakes for breakfast, making different food for the holidays different from when they eat when they come home from school.

Take them to have a breakfast in the garden when it is not too hot and then have a afternoon picnic in a local park. Do different things from the norm and why not go on a bike ride or for a walk with everyone.

Then eat out or pick up sandwiches and snacks to have outdoors.

Just make it excitable for them for the summer and then slowly wean then back into the school routine for when it returns.

Many thanks,

Carrie X

5 Ways to Keep kids safe in the summer

The last thing you need when on holiday kids becoming unwell and when having a Holiday in Menorca as a kid I got Sunstroke and lost may days of that holiday feeling so unwell.

With hotter climates you do have to make sure you children a safe from the sun, and not exposed to the heat and sun too much.

1. Make sure they wear a hat, too keep the sun away from their head
2. Use factor 30+ on their skin
3. Not playing out too long in the heat, try to keep them in the shade for sometime
4. Make sure they are wearing light colours or bright colours, so they state cool
5. Take a bottle of water with you when going out for the day and keep it cool

It is important to be outside for some Vitamin D, bt that the same time be vigilant about the hot weather and making sure they stay safe.

So I hope you find this blog informative and Many thanks for reading,

Carrie L.M X

Doing homework during the school summer holidays

Hi and welcome to a new blogpost! So now my son is off for the summer holidays, until September, and to help with his learning his school has given us some printables of activities to do during the holidays (see below an example) and this maths book he has to work through.

To get kids to do their homework I have found having a structured day even during the school holidays to be more effective than doing it at random times, because I find Henry is a lot more willing to do school work in the mornings after a good nights sleep rather than in the afternoon or evening.

I have also found doing a bit each time to be a lot more effective and breaking it down into little chucks, because Henry does have ADHD and works better when he has a small amount to do, than doing say half an hours worth.

Try and set a time for when you want them to do some school work, by setting a timer with no TV or android devices as with my son he can get easily distracted with these on. So I take these away do the homework and then my son is allowed to watch some TV or his tablet afterwards as a reward.

There is brilliant website called Oak School and is a great online service that has teachers for different levels to help kids with different subjects and would totally recommend it for online learning.

If it is easier and the sun is out, why not set up a homework area in the garden so they get to be outdoors and learn at the same time.

Here are some really good books we have that have really helped with my sons reading.

My son loves these books and has quite a collection and are created for different levels of learning.

Use outdoor things to help with their learning, example my son loves buses so we will look at the many different buses and we go through what their numbers are and where they travel to and from.

We have recently bought Henry a watch to help him learn about time  and the other day he pointed at the clock and knew when it was  8 O’Clock.

Then today we were going through different door numbers as we walked to the park, as yesterday we took him to the seaside to see my Auntie and she had this talking parrot which repeated everything you said and he loved it, so took him to the toy shop to find one but they didn’t have one, so I bought him skateboard instead because he was fascinated by the skateboarders we saw when we took him to the South Bank in the week.

Teaching them about the different time zones if you are travelling abroad and seasons so they learn about the nights being lighter for longer and it becoming dark early in the winter.

There is so much you can do to help them with their learning, to the point where like my son did today asked if he can do some maths or reading.

When they start to begin to ask to do some work you know you are on the road to a winner.

Many thanks for reading,

 

Carrie X

 

Looking after a childs mental health

From a young age I began to have insecurities about myself and so I know from experience that a child’s mental health can be effected from quite early on in their life.

This is why it is important when they are looking a bit frustrated or unhappy to not tell them off but to talk to them, as sometimes they just want someone’s ear to listen to them, not have an opinion or comment, but for someone to just hear them.

Even the most confident child can still have mental health problems, as like us our adults we can often put a brave face on, when really we are suffering in silence.

Creating flash cards to show them a happy face or a sad face can help them, to tell us their feelings and then this can help them to talk about it, and what we can do together to help those worries and fears.

Getting in touch with a childs feelings and saying “I am here for you if you want to talk” is a great way to let them know you support them and are there if needed. Never pressurise them, but be ready to speak to them when they want to express their feelings to you.

Having some quiet time is good, because they are more likely to talk sometimes when chilled out and calm and peaceful.

I notice whenever I get upset, because I can often struggle with my mental health, Henry will put is hands to his ears as if he doesn’t want to hear it and not sure as to what to do.

Being someone who has struggled with mental health for most of my life, I do feel somewhat guilty, whenever I have a bad day, but at the same time I have learned to deal with it, and in turn help my son with his mental health too.

It is human nature for us to a variety of feelings, and will still have when even older, can have a good day and a bad day, but once you know how to control those feelings, it can become a lot easier to deal with.

Whenever I see my son is unhappy I will try to find out why, and try not to get annoyed, but allow him to express himself. Making good eye contact is a must and whenever I have a moment of not feeling good, I tell him, “That mummy is okay just feeling not so good today”.

Kids need to see your emotions to learn about their own, and so if I am annoyed I don’t hide it away, because if he sees me expressing myself, then that encourages him to do the same.

Often kids will lash out because they are trying to communicate to you, and is not meant to be malicious in any way, even though it can feel like that.

In this case I will try by again getting to his level, making eye contact say “Don’t get angry, just say how you feel”, and then I will ask him questions to understand why he is cross and almost at point of having a massive tantrum.

Often being a parent you can be target number one, when they get angry or upset, but if you start to shout, often Henry won’t take this seriously and laugh, sending me to have a tantrum of my own.

What I have found effective is making Henry sit in his room or a quiet place for him to calm down, not really as a punishment, but space for him to think about what he is doing, and go through it with them so you can make them and you happy again.

Lets all support mental health and one another so we can all as parents have a better wellbeing too, to help our kids to grow up feeling happy about life and themselves. 

Many thanks for reading,

 

Carrie X