Teaching kids about bullying and abuse

I think in this day and age that any act such as bullying and abuse carried out, should be looked into immediately and investigated, because it still does go on and I remember when working in the nursery in Wimbledon, when we had what was known as a “Peanut Drill”, that someone was trying to get in.

I was absolutely shitting myself, and tried to keep myself calm, but getting all the kids together without a fuss became a difficult task, and I couldn’t help but panic and the children were hysterical.

People who do this kind of act aren’t worth the blood they were born with, and as far as I am concerned, is the worst thing a person can do and they have no remorse at all.

It makes me see that abusing a child aswell as bullying can be hidden in families and you wouldn’t even know it, and yes they should all be locked up with the key thrown away and given life.

If they take a life they should get life and I am going to fight for it and have all Paedophiles nicked and given life with no rights at all.

My dad could bully me, but he never abused me and I do miss him so much. I am sad I never got to see him before he died and I am gutted about that, I thought he was against me too, but he was just angry.

He taught me how to fight back and yes, I did, and I will continue to fight for children’s rights and stop all abuse and bullying from happening and it is tricky and often controversial topic, but I feel I want to talk about it, as I would like victims of these kind of acts to tell their stories to help others do so aswell.

All kids who have lost their lives I want a monument built and all the names of kids that have died due to abuse in memory of them all, be called “The Angels of Heaven” and have their names on it.

Once a child’s life has been taken you can’t bring them back and yes it causes suicide too, and I felt that a lot this year and is not good when you hit rock bottom. I did take an overdose last Christmas, and I yes my son didn’t know what was going on, but I literally took 3 to 4 Diazepanes in one go. I was a complete mess.

Abuse and bullying can turn a happy go lucking child into a mess and is so soul destroying that it can cause hurt to an entire family, and those who I felt were there to look out for me weren’t and yes it has changed who I am, and it can make a child feel like that too.

If you are abused remember you can always called Childline and they will act straight away.

Those who laugh about it when doing an act of bullying or abuse aren’t human, they are animals and cowards and need to be taught that if you do this, then you need to do the time for doing the crime, and yes all schools, kids clubs, nurseries and playgroups should have a Safeguarding officer to stop it or a welfare office, which I would like to do one day and get it kicked put.

Stay Safe, Be Strong.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

What to know about Premature Babies

My Little Dude Henry 2 days old

This time seven years ago, I was in the neon natal ward in Epsom, looking after my son Henry, who was born prematurely at 31 weeks and there are a lot of things that you should know about What to know about Premature Babies.

1. The hospital before you give birth whether naturally or by Caesarean, they will give you an injection to help the babies lungs, as if born premature their lungs would not have been fully formed, depending on, when the baby arrives
2. They can have trouble breastfeeding which I have written about in my previous blogs, and so if they don’t latch on don’t worry , you can still express and give to your baby by bottle or the neon natal nurses would help to feed them by a cup. Yes they do. I didn’t know they did this, but I saw it in my own eyes, and was amazed
3. They can be prone to chest infections in their early years. Don’t worry, seek medical support and they may prescribe and inhaler and antibiotics, but you can use over the counter products, like Calpol, Vics and Oabis Oil
4. They become full term babies usually around the 8 weeks of their lives
5. If they are Jaundice they will be in a incubator, if first born with a little mask on to protect their eyes, with a blue light
6. They will continuously have blood taken from their foot to make sure they don’t have a metabolic disorder
7. They are regularly weighed, have their length measure and their head circumference measured
8. They will test their ears to see how sharp their hearing is
9. Have Development Delay
10. Be prone to having Reflux issues

Please do not feel that I am scaremongering in any way, I just want give this information because not many parenting books I have read or blogs, share this information, but want to be one of the first, as Premature births are a lot more common than you think. When I talked to people about Henry being Premature, I had many parents or people saying they were born premature too.

I have one more thing to tell you, and that is, I am raising money for the charity called, Tommy’s who support and raise awareness, of Stillbirths and Premature Births, and so if you would like to make a contribution, please follow the link below:

https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/theparentingadventuresprematurebirths

If you would like to read many of my other posts I write on my different websites then follow this link below:

https://carriesblognetwork.squarespace.com/

Many thanks for reading,

Carries X

P.S: I have teamed up with Amazon this year, to show some of their Christmas Gifts, Advent Calendars, Decor, Stocking Fillers and much more. Check out my first video showing their Top Of the Range Advent Calendars:

Little lady called Cassidy

I wanted to write this blog because I was watching one of my favourite Youtube families, Phil and Alex who have 3 gorgeous girls and one being a little lady called Cassidy who has had open heart surgery and wanted to talk about this as I have wished her to grow up, touching wood, and look after other little babies with heart defects, like me.

I want her to have her own family one day and the most important to be happy, along with her two older sisters who love life aswell, and I hope she will too.

If you have a baby with a heart defect please don’t allow it to stop you from enjoying your baby as the worry can often overpower you and babies are a lot stronger than you think.

Henry’s heart was dropping when he was in my tummy and the hospital did do the right thing in delivering him. This kept my faith in maternity wards as there have been many bad stories of a few hospitals in England of babies dying, but they did potentially save his life and mine as my heart was going berserk.

The procedure of heart operations has come so far that they can now do the same operation I had when they are babies, rather than waiting and yes it can be worrying, but the surgeons who do these sorts of operations know what they are doing, and if you have questions do ask.

Hospitals will allow you stay in the hospitals so they won’t send you packing, they will be on hand if you have any worries.

I did become unwell with the anaesthetic but that is unusual and there are different anaesthetics now to stop this from happening and won’t send you and your baby home until they make a full recovery and is safe too.

If you need a coffee whilst they are in surgery have one and to help them recover as they may feel some pain, but they will give them safe medicine for this too, play some peaceful music or read to them. You will be surprised when they are sleeping on what they can still hear.

So if your child has a heart defect ask as many questions as you want and know exactly what they are going to do, to give you that peace of mind.

I hope this is helpful to you, and please should you have questions about this blog then please leave a question in the comments below.

All my blog post can be found on my Blog Network:

https://carriesblognetwork.squarespace.com/

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

P.S: I am raising money this year for a charity called Tommy’s who help support families who have experienced Stillbirths and Premature births, which can be so heartbreaking. If you wish to make a contribution then please visit my JustGiving page to do so, many thanks in advance:

https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/theparentingadventuresprematurebirths

Is Breast the best form of milk for your baby?

Image from https://depositphotos.com/stock-photos/breastfeeding.html

This has been a controversial subject at times, of people posting images on social media of them breastfeeding, and should women be allowed to breastfeed in public? Is Breast the best form of milk compared to Formula? When should you stop breastfeeding?

In my opinion I think do what you think is best, not on what someone else says. For me I wanted to give Henry my breastmilk and I did. However I did have a hard time 1. as mentioned in a previous post (See below) it took a lot to produce my milk, which can happen when you have a premature birth, but also when you have a full term baby.

2. When I expressed at first I had to do it for about half hour to get a lot of milk out, and then was told that this was too long, and should only express 10 minutes or so at the time, as expressing for half hour can make my boobs sore.

In hearing this news I was like,

What do I do then?

Here’s a link to my previous post about Breastfeeding:

My Experience with breastfeeding

I would never tell anyone off for deciding to put their child on formula milk straight away, and as said in a previous post, when I do have another child I will still give them my breastmilk and have some counselling and advice aswell to help me, but not give myself a hard time over it, like I did when Henry, my son was born, because you have enough to concentrate on and it is important when you have given birth to have some time to recover, as if you don’t have enough rest, that can effect your breastmilk too, which it really did for me.

It can be very distressing when you can’t breastfeed and you do feel this pressure of if I don’t I am a failure.

Let me tell you,

NO YOU ARE NOT!

image on Dreamtime

Everyone is different, not everyone’s body is the same, and see it that every persons body is unique to them. Some can produce endless amount of breastmilk, where some, like me, couldn’t.

There was one mum who’s baby was also called Henry and she didn’t breastfeed because she had, had breast surgery, and so was paranoid in doing so. I heard the nurses putting her under pressure about it, which I don’t blame them really in doing so, its just that they obviously have been advised to encourage us to breastfeed, its just not the be all or end all, if you don’t feel happy to breastfeed then it should be your choice.

Yes it was the NICU nurses who put Henry on Formula milk aswell as mine, which I didn’t mind, because I knew he was still getting the nutrients that he needed and took to it really well.

Sometimes if we gave him too much, it would shoot straight out of him, which at first frightened the life out of me, but most of the time he did feed well.

Just be vigilant about it because as a baby who lived on Breastmilk up until 18 months old, I did get a milk allergy.

The other thing I would say,

TAKE IT AS IT COMES!

Giving a baby breastmilk does save the hassle of bringing loads of bottles out with you, but you can get the already formed formula, just be aware that sometimes it can cause constipation, as spoken about in one of my other posts above, but if you can’t produce enough or worried then don’t feel bad about it.

As a baby myself I never went onto formula and was breastfeed up until I was 18 months old as said and wait straight onto cows milk.

Basically you decide if you want to give your child breastmilk or not, and don’t allow those that tut and judge other mums dictate, because it all depends what your child likes.

There are no one ways when it comes to being a parent, and the less you worry about the better you can focus on loving and nurturing your baby without stressing out.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

Bringing Your Baby Home For the first time

Bringing your baby home for the first time can be a daunting prospect, but it can also be a relief. The first thing I would say is:

1. Don’t worry about getting into a Routine yet, get to know your baby still, even if they have been in hospital like my son, Henry was Premature and was in there for a month.

The day I bought him home was the 8th of December 2013, and it did take a while to adjust. We did try to follow the schedule that the hospital had done, but that didn’t continue as when they are home it is completely different, and so that plan went straight out of the window.

As there is still COVID and because babies immune systems are still not fully formed as of yet,

2. Make sure anybody holding your child has washed their hands, don’t have a cold and do tell them to stay away if they do. Not meaning you have to be rude, but just pre-warn them.

If they end up going back to hospital they won’t go back into the delivery ward or Special care unit but a ward with all different age children, which can lead to more illnesses and infections.

When your baby is born,

3. Don’t go buying loads and loads of stuff first off, because if you know of friends or relatives that have had kids, or this is your second child, never be afraid to use hand-me-downs. I felt so blessed that I had family who did this, and saved us a lot of money and hassle.

Plus if you have a huge stack of friends and family they will be buying items for your new baby, so don’t go overboard, because babies once born grow very quickly.

4. Make sure that you have a crib or a Moses basket first, for them to sleep in, as they will be too tiny for a cot yet, and you can get basketnets too, that are suitable for new born babies.

If you know someone who has one of these that they are offering to you, to have,

5. make sure you check it out first to make sure it is in good condition, before saying yes.

The Moses basket we had was given to us from family and they also gave us their cot, for when Henry was bigger, and so the one item we did buy was a Crib, from Mothercare.

6. When you are in hospital ask the nurses at the hospital as many questions as you can, if you are worried about something when taking them home. The nurses and midwifes are there to help, so ask away.

To help you not forget write the questions you have down, so you have them to hand, because when you have given birth you end up with “Baby Brain” for a bit. Be ready to ask and get them to show you, how to swaddle a baby, how to breastfeed, because like me I thought it would be easy, but in reality wasn’t. Please check out my blog post:

My Experience with Breastfeeding

7. You don’t need to give a new born baby a bath as soon as they are born as their skin is still very delicate, so do it about two to three weeks later, unless they have a pooh explosion, which you do have to get ready for.

The first nappy changes you do, make sure you use cotton wool balls and warm water to clean them and do it before they eat, as from experience if done after can cause them to be sick.

When a child is first born they will usually do a pooh soon after, as they have been eating from the food you have eaten. This is what helps them to grow inside your tummy. When they start to breastfeed or go straight onto Formula milk,

8. feed from you or from a bottle write down how much if from a bottle or how long they fed for, to make sure they are taking in enough.

If your baby loses weight when they are first born, don’t worry, because this is normal.

Should they continue to lose weight then it is time to be concerned, but health visitors and nurses at the hospital are there to help you and give you support.

9. Don’t worry about others wanting to help you when you first bring home your baby, as after your child is born and you have them home, you need some help too, so take them up on it.

It does not mean that you are a bad mum for wanting some well earned rest yourself and if you say no a lot to those who want to lend a hand, will begin to stop asking.

When you first bring you child home, relax and enjoy your buddle of joy and be weary of those who will start to say, “When’s the next one going to be due”.

I have put together a Cheat Sheet for you, if you would like to print this off.

bringing-a-new-born-baby-home-cheat-sheetDownload

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

P.S: Just a quick note, I am raising money for the Charity Tommy’s who help to support those families that have experienced Stillbirths and Premature births and so if you would like to donate the link is here below:

https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/theparentingadventuresprematurebirths

Child Abuse and spotting the signs

 

The image above is from the New York Times.

I want to write about this as, because living on a housing estate it went on a lot, and it is the most soul destroying thing you can ever experienced. 

There are angels in heaven that have been abused and killed, and it can devastating to everyone involved. It is soul destroying and can take over your childhood. 

No child should be made to feel like can’t have a life, as
every child deserves to have a childhood that is filled with fun and happy
memories and I want to make sure that every child in the world is protected.

I am going to campaign for all Paedophiles and rapist,  to be punished and be given life and spend their life in jail, with no rights.

How can you sense that a child is being abused:

Body language

·      If they are quiet not playing with other kids

·      If they have bruising near their private areas,
arms and legs

·      If they are bleeding from the bottom

·      If they have any discharge

·      If they start to abuse other kids

·      If they are argumentative, disruptive and
aggressive to others

·      Withdrawn

 

What are the signs of an abuser?

·      Grooming a kid to try and to see the child
privately

·      Taking inappropriate photos of children

·      Asking inappropriate questions

·      Breaching Data Protection

·      Seeing an adult whisper in a child’s ear

·      Treating a child differently to 

If you know of a child being abused or you are a child, teenager reading this, then contact Childline.

Please do teach kids about not talking to strangers. The thing about those who abuse kids, they come in all different shapes and sizes. In the 80’s they did
do adverts about this and be careful about sharing details online on social
media pages, as pictures of kids can be temptation for Paedophiles.

I do think they should do another advert about talking to strangers
including talking to strangers online and sharing too much information.

One thing I would take out from social media sites is areas where they ask
you to share your location, and can be seen by anybody.

We need to be sensible when it comes to this because we don’t want our children’s information being breeched by those who carry out these crimes.

Those who abuse and rape children, may not have previous, because the hardest thing is proving it, and there are those who make it up, which makes it difficult for those who have actually been abused as a child, and many will be too scared to say anything and so it can be difficult to track it down. 

Doing a CRB or DBS check is one way, but as said many don’t have previous convictions, so it is still hard to track down, and be stopped. 

I am in the process of developing a Child Safety online course and so once it has been completed I will let you know. 

For now though lets keep our kids safe and stay strong, and have a good week ahead. 

Before I end this blog post I would like to tell you about my fundraiser I am doing again this year as I like to do this every year, as we get nearer to Christmas, and I am raising money for the Charity Tommy’s who support parents whom have experienced Stillbirths and Premature births. Here is the link to my site below:

https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/theparentingadventuresprematurebirths

Many thanks for reading, 

 

Carrie X 

P.S: Here is a free printable to help you spot the signs of a child who you suspect is being abused:

child-abuse-printable-1Download

Talking About Screen time for kids

Image from https://www.masterfile.com/search/en/kids+watching+tv+in+bedroom

I wrote a blog some time last year about Screen time, and how it should be limited as it can keep them awake at night and they can become dependent on it.

Since that blog many things have changed and my outlook on it is very different to that post. When Henry is watching his tablet it keeps him calm, being that he can have meltdowns, and I find when you take it away it becomes more of a tantrum than it needs to be. I HOPE YOU ARE READING THIS BORIS AS YOU LIKE YOUR SCREEN TIME, ASHAME THAT NOONE ELSE DOES!

Anyway, I was going to share a video on Youtube of the comedian Micky Flannagan talking about this very subject and his son watching his iPad, but it looks like it has been taken down.

He says it just gives us, as much as we love our kids a rest for a bit, as kids can be very demanding and now want money to pay for their computer games, yet when I was a kid it was money for the ice cream van. Years back when I was a kid it was “Can I go out and see if my friend Kelly is playing out” now it is “Can I do facetime with Louie” and thankfully he doesn’t have his number yet, only being 7, but if he did, he wouldn’t get off his tablet and want to talk to his friend at school all night and day, have more of a meltdown when it would be time to say goodnight, to the point I’d have a meltdown too, and we learned to swear from the age of 2, now it is almost as soon as they are born.

All jokes aside, is it that bad if my son watches a couple of kids doing the “Crossbar challenge?”, or watches babies fighting over a toothbrush?

I have seen worse as a kid growing up in the 80’s, such as films, like the Hounds of the Baskervilles, which I thought was The House for the Baskerbilles being I was very gullible and my dad would never allow me to see the end, but tell me what would happen, and his interpretation was, that the hounds get eaten and killed by a load of Doobie Noshers. Now please don’t ask me what they are. I had an image of these being red scary faces, and every time we would walk back to our caravan that we stayed in at Clacton I would think of them getting us on our way.

My dad would often watch a comedy called Steptoe and son, and seeing this acting of a father and son duo play scrabble, putting as many swear words as they can down was probably called a form of child abuse now, and then there was Chain saw massacre, where a bloke with a clowns head tries to use a chainsaw to kill who ever was in his sight. Thank fuck it wasn’t real but made me scared of clowns, even now being 42 years old.

They say that watching an iPad and tablet can keep them from sleeping, but not in our case he sleeps soundly when he watches it before bedtime. It all depends on your child, as they can be different.

There are many parent books that say you shouldn’t allow them to listen to music before bedtime, because it can become the norm of them thinking that, that is how you get to sleep, and at one time when Henry was about 6 months old I thought this could be true, because as soon as the music stopped he would become awake but then got used to it and when you are shattered and sleep deprivation is different to when you become a parent, you do whatever it takes, for them to go to sleep.

As far as I am concerned it all depends on your child, and if it works, do it. Of course I would not recommend The Hounds of the Baskervilles or Chain saw Massacre, but something less tame, Jaws, especially if you end up with a kid that bites a lot. Only joking, I am not being serious there, just so you know! Your best bet is who I call a Pork Scratching Peppa Pig, Spongebob, Mr Tumble or the Telly Tubbies.

There was many people saying that even the Tele Tubbies were offensive at one time, because of Tinky Winky having a hand bag and thought he was a male tubby, no he is actually a she, and Dipsi and Pooh are male tubbies. I have a feeling as I write this, that perhaps I have been watching them too much now, to be that sad of knowing this information.

Bring bag Knight Rider.

You know when someone is a parent of storing this information and feeling offended when others would get it wrong.

However, I say let them watch their android devices, still monitor what they are watching, but if it is someone kicking a ball at a crossbar, what harm can it really do?

I know there will be those parenting police being shocked by this blog, but I am strong believer that all the information in many parenting books are not true to real life, and I want to help you all have a easier time with your children and let them be kids and be happy. That is what is important at the end of the day.

I hope this blog has been helpful to you.

Before I finish, this blog, I want to tell you about the Charity I am supporting this year, as I like to do this every year as we lead up to Christmas. I am raising money for a charity called Tommy’s who provide support to parents who have experienced, stillbirths and premature births, being that they helped me when Henry was born premature 7 years ago, when I was 31 weeks pregnant and was a bit of a shock and their help did wonders to me and helped me get through that time. So if you would like to donate, here below is the link to my Just Giving page, and if you do many thank you’s.

https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/theparentingadventuresprematurebirths

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

My experience with breastfeeding

Hello and welcome to another blog post. In this post I am going to talk about my experience with breastfeeding, because I had real trouble when my son was born seven years ago, to express milk and breastfeed, as Henry would not latch on and it really stressed me out, as I suppose I took it for granted or was naïve to the fact of how difficult it would be. I thought it would naturally happen, but didn’t and when I only got a bit out into a syringe, I felt defeated.

I was told to help my milk come out to do all they say, massage the breast, use a warm flannel and rest as much as possible, but it took me ages and was told that I had to keep trying and expressing for 8 to 12 times a day, but after Henry was born, and I hadn’t slept for an entire three days on the trot from when my waters broke on the Saturday, I was completely exhausted.

Any how I kept trying and finally got the first part of the milk the Colostrum, which is really important especially for baby’s who were born premature. If I had known it would be that difficult I would have had breastfeeding counselling before hand, and not have bought a manual pump as they are hard work, and not good when you are hormonal and feel like punching my boobs at one point because I could only manage a little amount to come out.

In the end I did get an electrical breast pump, which I would totally recommend and being in the special care unit they had one there too, that I could use and did make all the difference.

I hope this does not put you off, because if I do have another child I would still breastfeed as it is more natural than formula, but in the end, because even by expressing a lot I still didn’t produce enough for Henry, gave Henry some of my milk along with formula milk.

The formula milk they recommended was SMA, and then because Henry had really bad eczema as he began to grow during the summer, which had become infected, so had to use Steroid cream prescribed by our GP, as over the counter creams didn’t work, I changed his formula milk to HIPP, which was an organic formula milk and did help his eczema a lot.

I still though would have preferred Henry to have my milk instead, because formula milk can cause constipation, and so to stop that you then have to start making them drink some water, which at first Henry was not interested in and can make their pooh very hard.

With breastmilk, they can have pooh explosions, but is best when they get constipated can effect their eating and in take of milk, when it is formula.

I in the end I still kept trying to see if Henry would drink from my breast, realised that he was not going to, and felt so guilty. I did speak to a breastfeeding nurse, who was recommended to me, as there was a medication I could take that would help my breastmilk, but I couldn’t take that because of having a heart condition.

Once I bought Henry home, I talked to the Health Visitor who said, that if it is stressing me out that much, as I did also have Postnatal Depression, to stop if I wanted to, because as long as my son had my milk in his first month, then it is fine and just enjoy getting to know my baby, rather then stressing over breastfeeding.

So I hope this had not scared you in anyway, that truly is not my intention. I just wanted to write this, because noone mentions his in any baby book , of how difficult breastfeeding can be, should you have trouble too. I have shared this in my first book of The Parenting Adventures- Pregnancy to the first nine months aswell, which is available from Amazon.com.

Never be fearful though if you are expecting to discuss this during your prenatal visits and it does not matter about size of a breast either, and have learned that some woman have milk pouring out of their boobs and some don’t, its like a toss of a coin unfortunately, just do what you can. However the more prepared you are, the more reassured you will feel.

The most important thing is to enjoy your new baby and getting to know them as it is a life changing experience, and does overwhelm you, and make the most of them being tiny, as they do grow so quickly.

If you didn’t read my previous post, then I am raising money for the charity Tommy’s who carry out a lot of research into stillbirths and premature births, and do an amazing job helping NICU departments in hospitals to care for tiny babies and those babies that have died at birth, by supporting parents who have gone through such a sad time in their lives.

Here is the link to my JustGiving Page:

https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/theparentingadventuresprematurebirths

So I am going to end this blog here, but should you have any questions on this topic then please do ask by writing a comment below.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

My experience of a Special Care unit

I was inspired to write this post after watching a Youtube video by two of my favourite couples, and families, Phil and Alex, who’s new baby Cassidy had open heart surgery, as I had that too as a child and it can be very daunting.

When I first went into the Special Care unit at St Helier Hospital in Sutton, London, I had no idea what to expect. I did before then see mothers with their babies who were in these units, and its until you go into a NICU Special care unit, how frightening at first it can be.

As a new mum I was super hormonal and cried a lot, like many of the mums and dads, too, as a baby in these units can effect everyone in your family, and I kind of at the time, shut down and I am a super planner of the future, but it hit me like a knife at first of “What is going to happen from here”, and for once felt I couldn’t plan ahead just in case.

My experience of a Special care unit of how long the NICU nurses and doctors worked and how much care they took, and did a fantastic job. They spoke to me about Henry, as if he already had a personality, and I know you may not believe me, but even when they are tiny, they can still start to form into person, and how alert they still can be. I knew from that moment when I walked in their it would take me sometime to adjust, didn’t think once about when my son Henry would be able to come home, and just focused for once on the present moment.

My son was born premature at 31 weeks and it was because his heart rate kept dropping and mine was going berserk, and in what I recall as a flash, he was delivered and taken away to the Care unit, who would look after him for a week and luckily was strong enough to be transferred to the hospital nearer to where I lived at the time, and again was well looked after by the NICU unit there too. Many moan about the NHS, but the staff who work in these units do a great deal of work to help you take care of your baby, as even though you think it will come naturally does change your life and it does become about them and not you, and all you can think of is making sure they thrive, by feeding, growing and how alert they are.

They gave us this booklet, which was written by the charity Tommy’s and it told you things that noone ever shared in any of the baby books I read. Premature births are a lot more common than you think. I before Henry was born, even came across an article about it, and I remember saying to myself “I won’t need to read that” and I wished I had.

I would like to do a Youtube video talking about this, so when I do I will post it on this site and I will let you know once it is up.

I remember one time when sitting quietly looking at my new born son, watching the screen which measured his heart rate and breathing like a hawk and suddenly it starts beeping and dropping, and I was beside myself, but then one of the nurses said to me for reassurance, “It’s okay, has he changed colour, is he moving?”, and I nodded and she went onto say, unless they change colour and don’t move then yes worry, and we would be with him like a shot and so if we don’t react, then you have nothing to worry about and all that happened was the wire attached to his foot that measured his pulse had fallen off slightly.

Children are a lot stronger than what you think they are, even as tiny babies and what I loved the most was that they encouraged you to do the self care of your baby yourself without intervening and would talk us through it a lot and the one advantage of having a baby in special care, even though by choice they wouldn’t be, was that they showed you and took more time in sharing how to properly bath your child, what were the best bottles to use, the recommended formula milk, as I had problems with my breastmilk and if you would like me to talk more on this then leave a comment below, and what the best nappies to use were. They also outside the special care unit, details of other babies who were born premature and are still alive and kicking today.

A lot of the time in the UK if you have a full term baby you are sent home without being given this information and are often sent home on the same day, and no, noone wants their child to be in the special care unit, but looking back in a positive note they do take more care of you. Not all maternity units, may I add, but some of them, and they wanted to get ride of the maternity units in our local hospital and St Helier, but glad they haven’t because they do take a lot of care of you in their maternity units, and I would not have gotten through it without their help.

It is scary and nothing prepares you for any type of birth, as it can just happen, but I would if I could turn the time back to reading the article I saw about premature births read it, and would like to think by doing this, would have given me more of a piece of mind.

If you would like to ask me further questions on this topic then please go ahead. Their is a comment section below, and to keep up to date with all my blogs on this site, then you can follow me too.

There is one other thing I would like to tell you about, and that is this year like I have done every year leading up to Christmas, like to raise money for a good cause, and was going to have this post up on Facebook to help me do that, however Facebook wouldn’t let me, so I have set up a Justgiving page to raise money for Tommy’s, so if you would like to donate, then please click on the following link to do so.

https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/theparentingadventuresprematurebirths

So if you have just had a baby, congratulations and enjoy their babyhood as much as you can, as once they begin to grow there is no stopping them.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

Am I a Supermum

DO I CLASS MYSELF AS A SUPERMUM?

No I don’t as I am human and don’t mind showing the mistakes I have made. Parenting can be plane sailing for some, but it has never been like that for me, I have struggled and I know I am not on my own on that.

I always knew as a kid I wanted to have children of my own one day and you think it is something that comes naturally to you. Let me tell you if you are thinking of having a family and no I am not a spoiler or a mum who likes to share horror stories, just my own struggles, is that it didn’t at all. I found breastfeeding I didn’t have enough hands to get it right, I was all finger and thumbs when I first held my son Henry when he was in the special care unit, and held onto him like he was like a bomb that if I dropped him he would explode and being so tiny, I held on as you are frightened at first of dropping them, and changing nappies, not just me but every parent that first changed one, on their child put the nappy on the wrong way round.

Can it become easier?

At first I wanted to throttle those who said it did, but now that my son is almost seven, which will be in two days time, yes it does and I am more relaxed now than when I was at the beginning. Parenting is a new skill for everyone and as much as your child is adjusting to being out in the world, so are you. There is no child that is the same, some sleep. My son however and I am not gloating, as he still wakes up early still, can sleep through a tornedo and still stay a sleep.

Can a child’s sleep pattern change?

Yes, Henry slept from when he was born through the night, but became less when he began teething, which wasn’t long after he was born. They can make themselves go to sleep, but doing story time or letting them listen to gentle soft music can help too, and I would say with bedtime, definitely establish a bedtime routine.

What about food and meals?

Well, where do I begin, I thought I was being Supermum putting together home made baby food, until some evenings my son refused to eat any of it, and then feeling disheartened, and wanted to say to him “Please give some sympathy it took me ages to make that”, but do babies and kids care? Did I when I was a kid who was the fussiest child in the world when it came to food and dinner? NO.

So if your child turns their nose up, don’t feel that you let the side down, kids make choices from early on in their development and always have a back up. Left over fruit, veg and meat can be pre-cooked and warmed up, and have a few already made baby food pouches or jars to hand, just in case.

I do love being a mum and there are parts I do enjoy, like cuddles, watching some TV together, playing connect 4 not letting my competitive side show, even when he does cheat and when we dance to music.

Meal times have got better and I like having a family meal at least once or twice a week if not everyday, and having chill out time for yourself too.

So stay safe and well, and I will blog again soon.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X