Hello, I have shared this on my other site Everyone Can Build a Castle, and is a free printable that I do each week and this weeks it is about, When you feel overwhelmed.
Being parent, we can often feel like this because of so much we have to remember and do, and it can be so overwhelming that all you want to hibernate and not think about getting this done and that. So here are some tips on how to manage overwhelm.
Now it is time to get my other jobs done and been out which feels so good and still going to go for a walk tomorrow as I to have blood tests done, that I have to do yearly, to monitor my blood sugar levels, and one reason why managing your health and wellbeing is important, because I did have type 2 diabetes and was managed by diet based and get my eating habits under control and prevent overwhelm, as I can comfort eat and stop my healthy eating.
I will be posting on here in the week and so if you’d like to be notified of my blogs on this site and then remember to subscribe.
Hello! I hope you all had a good weekend. My son was unwell and sadly is today too, so will miss school, which I have tried to avoid but kids get sick and so was all systems go this morning and he is sitting on the sofa chilling. He has a tummy bug.
Each week I create a free cheat sheet on various topics and this weeks on is about When kids get sick.
I hope you do find these useful. They are completely free and if you want to share this post then please do, and remember to subscribe so you are alerted everytime I post on this site.
Hello and it is new week and means that it is time for a new Cheat Sheet, which I have begun doing for 2024 to help you get your life together. This one is about, Making life simple and stop being overwhelmed.
Please share with others, who may need a bit of support in getting their life together and print off. I like to share my life to inspire others in growing themselves and so I do have three Youtube channels, check them out below:
Being a mum has changed me, and my thoughts.. I see that he doesn’t multi task, but that it is good to focus on one thing at a time, and short spurts of changing areas in my life that leads to good results, is just as good as long spurts, and getting my life together.
Having a child with ADHD and on the Autism Spectrum, it is important to communicate better, as it doesn’t always sink in to them, and that I give him some control, when it comes to making decisions and that I am not saying no, but that we not going to it this minute, and if he is good, that he will be rewarded with the things he wants and making sure I make an effort to work on my behaviour too, like showing good manners and how to communicate correctly.
I know that sounds like what you’d do when training a pet, but given praise and rewards for when he does good, has a good impact, and that I teach him myself of good behaviour. I practice what I preach. I have to be careful of bad language and chatting, and allow someone speak first, as I have talked over someone and interrupted, and if you find it annoying, and your child sees this, they can copy and can influence other adults to follow the same habits and behaviour, too.
When it comes to diet, if I am encouraging good eating and being healthy, it has to come from me, in order not to snack all the time, and I am working on this, as I need to sort out my diet, as it isn’t always good, so I am in the process of having fuller meals, and not to snack so much.
Now we are going into a new year it is time to restart and reboot. So going to set goals for me and Henry to do together, and progress our relationship, as there are areas in which could be better, such as be a little more stricter, as I need to teach him about everyone is given a chance to choose what to watch on TV to, by making sure I do the same and respect others people property. That he is to respect other peoples decision and that everyone gets a turn, and not to kick up a fuss if it is not what he wants, as you can’t please your kids all the time, and that I make sure I am respectful in that area too.
If you have anything to share, then please do. You can leave a comment below.
So it is New Years day, so happy new year and lets all raise our glasses to all us parents and children, and hope 2024 is a good year.
I know I chose to have my son and wanting children so we shouldn’t be complaining, but it is tough. Yes it is a joy, and love the time I share playing and keeping my son occupied, but when your child refuses to get dressed and running from you, boy oh boy can it be like, we have no where to turn, and you end up wanting to suck your thumb and dive on the floor too.
I love my son and our time together playing rugby whilst putting his dinner on is joyous, and I am always the one who has to crouch down on the floor pretending to be doing a scrum, if you are not sure that that is it when you put arm around each other and have to push the ball along with the players by using body strength, and the floor boards in the living room and playground really hurt my knees.
I know we shouldn’t be playing rugby indoors but would do it in the garden but my son has the tendency in kicking the ball over into a neighbours garden and be covered in muck and needs tidying up , but we basically do running and tackling and most of the time I let him get a try, to have a bit of a rest. I think it was a real game we would both be in the sin bin, because we both bend the rules. I often will run in the corridor to the kitchen back, into the living room to try and get a try, or in the playground I will wait until he is distracted by a train going passed and he won’t start the game unless when he kicks the ball I catch it.
It is good to make time to play and my son bosses me about and will physically take me to the part of the pitch of where he wants me to stand to try and tackle him. Yet when it is time to finish he can kick off so I have to warn him of when we will finish, and at the moment getting him to get ready for school becoming a hard task.
This morning he was dancing which was great but not concentrating in eating his breakfast and was reluctant to get dressed and wouldn’t give up his tablet until it is time for him to be taken to school.
You have to limit the amount of screen time and we do, but when it comes to getting ready it can help them to concentrate on something, and not worry about what they’re doing and just gives us a break, which as a parent we don’t always get.
When I want to do some computer work it has to be often when he is being looked after by my mum and step dad, but then he will come up to come back downstairs so has to be when he is at school or in the holidays, be at a holiday club and wants my full attention.
It does help me in that I will monitor my own time I spend on devices like my phone and has helped me to be more present but when it comes to managing my life I use my phone to remind myself of things, like making sure I top up money on my Oyster card for travelling in the week, taking my bits I need for the week and get ready for the weekends and so I do need that time.
Never under estimate parenting because it is a job aswell as a joy and shouldn’t be forgotten and as a parenting, we do our best and we need to regenerate for the world to continue on, and feel good in what our bodies can do, in order to have kids, because it is a life changing event and changes you forever.
Oh yes it is a tricky business. Now this is not to gloat as why would I do that? Henry when he was a baby would sleep well and we never had that many issues, and would sleep through the night, but he began to wake up super early, and I hoped this would change, but no.
When he would get sick he would often just want to sleep, and so he is pretty good but would need more comforting as when he would nap in the afternoon would wake up super grumpy and so would read to him which he found soothing or a song he liked at the time, Only You by The Flying Picketts and he would then be okay.
He would get overtired and so would begin to start fussing and chucking things, and when he was a lot younger would around 6pm be unsettled and want to be held, and so we created a ritual, so dimmed the lights, put the heating on, bath him and play lullaby music and blow bubbles but made it nice and peaceful, making sure he was well fed and was recommended this book, talking to a mum on the bus and worked like a treat.
We didn’t put him too early or too late, and weaning helped also, because we were able to cut down on milk and was a relief not doing a late feed, because he would be wide a week, so was good to just let him sleep.
Now he is 9 he will stay up a bit later, he goes to bed between 8:30 to 9:30, and so often I have to scrape him off from the sofa as he likes cuddles with me before bedtime , and he will go to the toilet, brush his teeth and then I will read a book and goes out like a light.
When they have so much energy kids they, which I didn’t know can have a energy spurt before bedtime and when you think they are tired they jump up and want to play with their balloon, play tennis or cricket, and I am like “No not now” so what I do to prevent this is make sure he has uses up all his energy by being super active and productive during the day and it is simply having a kick about as this helps me too to stay active or rugby, go for walks in the morning, do a bit of learning and do some activities in the day, like painting, gardening with my mum, last weekend we took him to the Ninja Warrior Adventure park in Guildford as it was my nieces birthday and Sunday we went to a local festive called Pub in the Park and so good, and I have filmed it so a weekend in a life coming soon on my Youtube channel: https://www.youtube.com/@typicallondongal
We have cut down on Screen time as this can have an affect and today I listened to a good podcast, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HVGlEU_ueAw she talks about cutting down on screen time and it has made a difference because he would rely on it and he can sleep for a good 6 to 9 hours all through the night now so yes worth trying.
Blackout curtains can help along with double glazing windows, and a bright light if they can’t sleep in darkness, a cuddly toy to give comfort and fresh bedding.
Then there is bed wetting. This has been a challenge and we have had some recent bedwetting issues, and as they grow it can continue to be a hurdle when it comes to bedtime. I do limit how much my son drinks in the evenings as he still has the odd accident, but is getting better.
I never knew that toilet training could take so long and he went on his first residential trip last month, but couldn’t stay over because of using toilet and because of him finding his way back to the pods they were staying in. He is soon to be going to his third school because his first one couldn’t meet with his learning difficulties and so was given a place at the school he is now, but they think that he needs to be in an even more of a specialised school and I am nervous about it. With toilet issue it is important that he has easy access to these facilities and can easily go without fuss. We do pack spare pants just in case but like I say things have begun to improve and he will not wait until the last minute which is what he was initially doing.
I do hope it doesn’t affect his development, and he does dream, and this has been a challenging in terms of bedtime as he will wake up startled some nights, and he talks in his sleep and make sure that he has enough air and is properly tucked in. I avoid snacks in the evening and make sure he has a good fulfilling dinner and he will have a bath or shower, with the occasional wash and this does help him settle and he will in part of the evening sit with us and have quiet time.
So I hope this helps you, thank you for liking my blogs on this site and for subscribing, it really means a lot and if you have topics regarding parenting that you’d like me to talk about then please leave a comment below.
Before I begin I would like to say a big thank you for those who have read my blogs, and liking my content and following me. If this is the first visit of my blog then welcome. I talk about different topics that you never get told and that I have learned since being a parent. I have a 9 year old son Henry and he lives with his dad and me. His dad’s home is in Surrey and I live in South West London.
I also write books, and written books on parenting, so if you’d like to check them out then you can on Amazon.co.uk and I write under the names Carrie Challoner, Carrie Lee Holmes and Carrie Holmes.
I will be updating this book as when I wrote the book I had baby brain and so some of the dates regarding his birth needs changing, but it like a fly on the wall book where I write like in diary form and so I hope you like it. Its available on Kindle.
In this blog I am talking about Building your children’s personal development. It is so important for our kids to be independent and find their way into the world, and will need many skills to learn that will help their future. Such as reading, writing, listening, talking and memory, getting dressed, going to the toilet and sleeping, that it can be overwhelming for you and for your kids.
So start with taking each step as they develop and if they are interested in a book, allow them to sit with the book and flip through. hardback, Fabric books are good for their senses. It would be books like “That’s no mine…”, as they have pictures with different textures of fabric inside, and pop up books that will make them laugh and you want to build their interaction so its good not just reading, but talking about each book they love, as their awareness develops.
Today my son read the first chapter of Horrid Henry and Partly of Billy Goats Gruff. He has develop delay but he can read really well, its just that he doesn’t always show what he can do and that makes it hard when it comes to school because at the moment the books he is reading at school aren’t challenging enough. Kids, like my son tends to hide a lot of what skills they have, so the learning they do at home, will help them when they go to school, because they will perform more at home sometimes compared to school.
Logging their learning into their school diary of what they have done at home, can help the teachers see that he can read a entire paragraph that he won’t show at school. I know many will say, what about home learning full time, but because he is on the Autism Spectrum he needs that social part of school, and he loves being with other kids.
He enjoys school its just he will hold back a lot and so what you can do at home can make a difference, even if it is 10 minutes of the day.
The same with writing. They will build these skills as they read, and using activity books from stores like Whsmiths can be good to start with along with drawing and helping them make associations with words and writing them down.
Fitting in this has been tricky, so want to do more and can write numbers now and small words, and doing a bit each week or day, is good to help them. Henry is often a bit reluctant to write, but we just do a bit for ten minutes, with a reward helps him be happy about it, and that is where books comes in. It can really be a reward itself for them aswell as a bit of chocolate or a toy that the want to play with.
My youngest niece loves writing and writing stories. Not all kids want to do it, and it can be because they may be dyslexic, so something to consider, not to worry as many successful people have this difficulty like Richard Branson. With my son is because he has ADHD and loves physically learning like he loves sport and trains, and he loved buses and so I made him a book about buses and used this to encourage him to write.
This can lead to listening, and something that my son has trouble with, but is getting better, by giving him encouragement and having structure. If we are watching something we want to watch and not him, we will explain to him first, by saying “Right this programme on now, so we want to be quiet” and quiet time is a good habit especially before bed time, and this leads to an important habit and skill, sleeping.
Sleeping can be hard and I as mum has reminded as I have grown of how much I was a nightmare when it came to sleep as I have always has struggles. This stemmed from when I was a kid and we lived on the ground floor in a housing estate and kept playing visions in my mind of somebody trying to break into my room. I know my mum would be shaking her head, because since a baby before we lived on the ground floor I didn’t sleep, but was an influence I would say.
Having a bedtime routine will help and yes I know you have heard that, but my child still doesn’t sleep well, speak with your health visitor or doctor as they can help. With Henry he has always been good, until he started to grow and often will moan about going to bed now, as he loves being awake and being on the go all the time, wanting to play and watch his tablet but we now don’t have him watch it before bed as it can cause problems with sleep which I did argue against, but has made a difference and now he doesn’t always awake around 5am,. as he sleeps well but wakes up early.
When it comes with talking, my son loves to talk, but this is why he is on the Autism Spectrum because he has Social communication problems, and so will repeat the speaking on trains, example: “Mind the Gap between the train and a platform” but not engage in conversation. He is getting better and so we are trying to stop this especially if there are other children or adults trying to have a chat with him.
He is a social boy, which I know may be contradiction, but he loves other children and will say hello but won’t always engage, like other children. He will stay sentences now, not always in the right dialect, so we will correct him, not angrily or to make him feel bad, but in a way that he says the sentence in the correct dialect.
Kids learn from repetition and where reading can help, and doing speech therapy is great way to help with talking and speaking to others.
Then there is memory and that is where memory comes in. If you keep on showing how to fold a top, they will copy. The more they say sentences in the right context, the more they will continue. Henry’s memory is second to none and remembers when he hurt his head at school and that was 5 years ago, and when I moaned about Boots (a local pharmacy store in the UK) not having birthday gift cards and only had Christmas and so it is little things like that, where its like. Wow you remembered that? And he knew from as soon as he would walk where the park was.
Building memory is a simple as taking the same route to the park so they get to know where they are going and Henry liked when we would walk to school, would want to walk the same route and often I will go through the street names, to help him, and it has helped us to bond and build our relationship with each other, because kids like to be shown things like street names, and counting house numbers to identify numbers.
Henry though, won’t always show this skill, memory and say he doesn’t know but we know he does it appears that he holds his skills back. I have learned a new method to help him by saying, “Sorry can you do that again?” or Can you say that again” and will as we go through it say the answer to something or a sentence that he knows and will show he knows. He just need prompting.
This skill was watching Youtube of a couple called Phil and Alex, and they have two adopted children and a biological child. If they read this blog. Thank you.
Playing games like Dino Duo, Check that out, is a good way to help with memory and there are different games you can play with these cards. (This is not sponsored), it is a game my son and I play a lot and he beats me every time. Card games are brilliant for memory. It help with counting and remember symbols and images.
When it comes to getting dressed, I will leave the clothes out for him and he puts them up. He can do it my son, but can be lazy. They have to do it for themselves to be independent and so its taking a step back as a parent and allow them to figure it out. If my son gets stuck I will offer support but say, “Turn around the other way” for example, when my son puts on a top. He now because I reward him with a high 5 or a cuddle knows when he has put his top on, that he done a good thing.
That is a tip I’d give, celebrate and seeing it as a win
It is a accomplishment and praise goes a long way.
Then there is toilet training. This has been a challenge, and he will still leave it to the last minute and can be frustrated because he is trained he just puts play at the top of his choices but I have had to install that if he does he won’t be able to play, because if we are out means we will have to go home.
He still has struggles when it comes to using the toilet but he is getting better because he I hope this isn’t TMI, in wiping his bottom. He can do it and tries but still have difficulties, but again with all other skills encouragement goes a long way and I don’t make it a big deal its more like “Go and call me if you need help” and he does and this helps with sleep too that he is to go and not wait.
I have put together a board of some of my blogs on Pinterest and so check them out, and there are more blogs to come.
I also have a Youtube channel for more content, which is all about my life as a mum, writer, doing chat videos, Reset videos, hauls and days in a life:
It is a transformation and so the first tip, like my last blog, to take your time. Any concerns speak to your midwife and health visitor and never think you are being silly.
You don’t know how you are going to feel no matter how many baby books you have read, but it can be a a joyous occasion, and so if I had to talk to myself when my son was born, is to be more relaxed and taken it in everything and don’t get upset if you get things on. When in the Special Care unit. every parent would put the nappy on the wrong way or baby would do a week or a pooh, whilst changing a nappy.
I remember sons first bath. We had talked whilst having a coffee, on one of our first trips out, after our son was born, and it the plan was forgotten as my son’s dad, stripped him off before I got the bath ready and the water wasn’t warm enough and Henry was crying we began to argue and felt relived it was over.
Thankfully we learned for the second time.
Babies when they are first born, can lose a bit of weight, and then as they feed will gain wait. However if you have concerns then of course tell your doctor or health visitor, and I for the first month kept note that he had poohed and that he is weeing.
Henry had reflux and so we had to give him infant Gaviscon for it and would put a sachet into his milk and kept note again whilst he was being given the Gaviscon because you can use it up to 6 sachets each day, and this did stop the reflux and was advised by the doctors and nurses on the Special Care unit who used it and advised us to use it whilst he was still in hospital as he was Premature, and when we took him home, and used it up to 6 months or so.
If you are having breastfeeding issues but anxious about your breast milk or not wanting to breastfeed, then get help. I wasn’t producing enough, and I did all what the nurses advised to encourage my breastmilk to come through and watched on Youtube for tips. and only got a little bit, and thought I did well, only for it to be given back because it wasn’t enough. I felt defeated, but kept on, but it was stressing me out.
Now you can get counselling for it and if I were to have another child, would definitely go down that road and get support. If you choose not to breastfeed, then I believe this is choice and should not be judged for it. As long as your baby is drinking milk and is healthy then, that is what is important.
Next is sleep. When Henry was going to be discharged, we were offered to use their family room before we took him home and spend the night to get used to caring for our son, and neither me or my son’s dad, didn’t get a lot of sleep and the routine completely changed when we took him home for the first time. His first night at home he made a lot of noise and again didn’t get a lot of sleep and would sleep when he did, both of us and after our son would sleep through the night, and I would worry and check to make sure he was breathing and of course he was fine.
This changed when he began teething, but was able to sleep unaided and that is because we never made a fuss, the occasions when it was difficult was when he was unwell. Thankfully is a deep sleeper even now he is 8 years old. I know we aren’t all that lucky, but you adjust and if you get someone offering to look after your baby whilst you catch up on sleep accept the offer, as rest for new parents is a must.
I really hope this helps you and if you didn’t read my last blog then you can via this link Feeling Anxious when pregnant.
In the next blog I will be talking about Feeling anxious when they become a toddler and handling the terrible twos.
I have written books on parenting on amazon.com under the names of Carrie Challoner, Carrie Lee Holmes and Carrie Holmes.
Life as a parent comes with learning things you never thought you would, like learning how to get fit whilst looking after your kids. This is playing football and rugby and dancing. It is all about making time for fun with an element of education as it good that Henry learns about taking turns and making their bones stronger.
I get that Henry doesn’t want to do any homework after having a week of learning all week, so we do little bits so he doesn’t get overwhelmed, and if he does it we then is rewarded by playing some more. It is finding a good balance between doing some time outdoors or if it rains play indoors, and then school work.
Understanding our kids helps with having a better communication and today when Henry came home from school he was upset, so instead of saying “Don’t be silly” which I catch myself saying a lot, we had a cuddle and chatted about what is was upset about, and then we played some rugby, then watched a bit of TV and all was good again. Kids just want reassurance at times that there is a logical reason, and it was that his bestfriend wasn’t in the taxi today and he didn’t kick off or lash out, because we had a good “Mother and son chat”.
Often we can get stuck on situations, like Henry really wants to have his new friend sing Justin’s house theme tune, and he really couldn’t get the grips with why he couldn’t, and makes me understand that he needs to have friend he can have a playdate with, but of course speaking to his friend’s parents, but because Henry travels to school by taxi each day we don’t get to see them and so had to explain to my son that he has his own house, but perhaps write a note to Jason and ask if he’d like to join Henry one day and perhaps we could do something so his friend can help celebrate his birthday that is coming up.
There are ways around things and it is a lot of trial and error.
When it comes to understanding our kids, it can be hard to workout how to solve the issues your children are having and supporting their worries and when we can’t get to grips with what they want it can be frustrating for both parties.
There is away, and that is to sit and have a chat with your kids to work around it and remember they are in the room, and often when talking as parents we forget they are there and so important for them the be involved and “Where there is a will, there is a way”.
I do write books on being a parent on amazon in Kindle and paperback on Amazon, under my names, Carrie Challoner, Carrie Lee Holmes and Carrie Holmes, so please check them out.
Hello and welcome! Thank you all for following me on this blog it really means the world to me, and really helps me to deliver more content you may like.
So Friday is the last day of term and half term again, and that means going out a lot and it lands on Valentines Day. Yes it is here again, I would like the time to go a bit slower, but out of my control like everyone who feels the same.
I am going to set out a plan for next week and see what I can book that is budget friendly and creates a good time during my sons holiday. These are the times you can really get a lot out of. I still not sure if I will be working next week, so if not want to get outdoors and explore.
Of course it depends on the weather, and going to check this out and planning on taking Henry to the Cinema as was nervous in doing so as he has ADHD, so going to see what’s on and see which Cinemas are open.
When it comes to affording the cinema, as it can be expensive is to bring your own snacks and often you can save money if tickets are pre-booked, or save for it beforehand. I will also be looking at local football team fixtures, but you do have to pre-book once the tickets become available.
My son has started Swimming lessons now and want to heIp, his learning and checked local swimming pools, and they do sessions for all and so going to check to see if I can take him this week, of course it may be busy but great way to bond with your kids and miss swimming myself and going to take this up again, as I like to keep fit however possible.
Check out “Better Gyms” as they do swimming classes too and do parent and baby swimming classes, and some of them have soft play for kids too.
For Valentines why not go for a family meal and give your kids a card. I am going to do this for Henry, and going to get him a kinder egg as a gift and some chocolate coins.
So I hope this helps you to plan your half term and remember if you need a coffee have one as it can be a long week ahead.
The parenting adventures 