When kids do amazing things

Well this blog I came up with because being a parent I often wonder how much my son takes in and I watch my actions because Kids can copy and so I stop myself from swearing, being cross and my fear.

Photo at Gravity in Wandsworth

Yet my son amazes me all the time watching him grow from a baby to a child, from being a child to one day being a man. I was going to write on my other blog about fashion (https://carriesversatilefashion.com) but I had to write this blog first, because I often wonder because my son has ADHD and Autism, what he actually learning and yesterday we were off to his Swimming lesson and that he will have a different teacher, his usual teacher couldn’t do the lesson, and for him to listen because like me unfortunately can switch off, and he not being prompted said “Its not always about winning but having fun” and my mum and I were like, “Where did that come from?”. We weren’t saying him to win and wish I could remember the full conversati8on, but just amazed, and made us see that he is taking in a lot more than he allows us to see and at the beginning of the lesson he started do the breast stroke on his own and again didn’t realise he can do that. He did have a term during this year of swimming lessons, but because they have to let other kids have lessons he couldn’t continue the lessons on. He also missed a few classes, due to him being unwell and last week it was my nieces birthday party, so was a few weeks since he last had lessons. At the Ninja Warrior Adventure park, and I did write about this in my last blog, and he beat the wall and climbed and done it four times, when he was very worried about climbing frames. Not sure why, we are still working on that, but seeing him do this is rewarding and with the help from others, something has clicked in.

He can now cross the road on his own when at one time he would run off and once when were looking in a charity shop, he ran out towards the road and it was hard to take him out, because of that.

This is not to say I am wonder mum, and I have it all sussed out because trust me I don’t and has been the help and support of family, Including his dad, other mums/friends, but often I would do it solo and question my parenting skills. I have struggled, there are mums who may have had a different experience, but to help other parents it is important to be honest and I still make mistakes like yesterday I had my jeans on back to front. I took him swimming a few weeks ago and forgot to bring his towel, but thankfully they had paper towels, so I used them. We are human, but he still got dry and has made me make extra effort to remember his towel.

He will correct me when talking and he took a really photo with my phone. I know this isn’t climbing a mountain, but its the little bits for me that is rewarding to me as a parent.

My Niece did a long walk for her DV at her school, my other niece wrote a poem that was published and my youngest niece did a performance as she does Drama Classes, and has sung to me of songs she has created and seeing them bloom like this makes me see that children can do amazing things and I do doubt my son at times. I feel the guilt as I write that, and is an area I need to stop. My son can talk for himself and he can make decisions of his own, and so with the things I have seen from him and other kids I know, makes me see that kids should never be underestimated and I need to get out of the habit of doing so.

I am learning, and I remember a mum I worked with when I did finance, I worked within the finance of an Advertising Company, called Grey Advertising and she fell down the stairs and really hurt herself and it was her daughter who had phoned for an ambulance and she wasn’t an older child but of a young age and it makes my take a step back.

Kids know more than what they let on and can be responsible and can someone in a dangerous situation. I wish they would have an Amazing child week and celebrate the amazing things that kids do. My son if he sees another child cry often want to go over to them to see if they are okay, but can stick up for himself too. So lets celebrate our kids successes and praise ourselves as parents too, as we don’t give ourselves enough credit.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

When Kids get tired but don’t want to go to bed

Oh yes it is a tricky business. Now this is not to gloat as why would I do that? Henry when he was a baby would sleep well and we never had that many issues, and would sleep through the night, but he began to wake up super early, and I hoped this would change, but no.

When he would get sick he would often just want to sleep, and so he is pretty good but would need more comforting as when he would nap in the afternoon would wake up super grumpy and so would read to him which he found soothing or a song he liked at the time, Only You by The Flying Picketts and he would then be okay.

He would get overtired and so would begin to start fussing and chucking things, and when he was a lot younger would around 6pm be unsettled and want to be held, and so we created a ritual, so dimmed the lights, put the heating on, bath him and play lullaby music and blow bubbles but made it nice and peaceful, making sure he was well fed and was recommended this book, talking to a mum on the bus and worked like a treat.

We didn’t put him too early or too late, and weaning helped also, because we were able to cut down on milk and was a relief not doing a late feed, because he would be wide a week, so was good to just let him sleep.

Now he is 9 he will stay up a bit later, he goes to bed between 8:30 to 9:30, and so often I have to scrape him off from the sofa as he likes cuddles with me before bedtime , and he will go to the toilet, brush his teeth and then I will read a book and goes out like a light.

When they have so much energy kids they, which I didn’t know can have a energy spurt before bedtime and when you think they are tired they jump up and want to play with their balloon, play tennis or cricket, and I am like “No not now” so what I do to prevent this is make sure he has uses up all his energy by being super active and productive during the day and it is simply having a kick about as this helps me too to stay active or rugby, go for walks in the morning, do a bit of learning and do some activities in the day, like painting, gardening with my mum, last weekend we took him to the Ninja Warrior Adventure park in Guildford as it was my nieces birthday and Sunday we went to a local festive called Pub in the Park and so good, and I have filmed it so a weekend in a life coming soon on my Youtube channel: https://www.youtube.com/@typicallondongal

We have cut down on Screen time as this can have an affect and today I listened to a good podcast, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HVGlEU_ueAw she talks about cutting down on screen time and it has made a difference because he would rely on it and he can sleep for a good 6 to 9 hours all through the night now so yes worth trying.

Blackout curtains can help along with double glazing windows, and a bright light if they can’t sleep in darkness, a cuddly toy to give comfort and fresh bedding.

Then there is bed wetting. This has been a challenge and we have had some recent bedwetting issues, and as they grow it can continue to be a hurdle when it comes to bedtime. I do limit how much my son drinks in the evenings as he still has the odd accident, but is getting better.

I never knew that toilet training could take so long and he went on his first residential trip last month, but couldn’t stay over because of using toilet and because of him finding his way back to the pods they were staying in. He is soon to be going to his third school because his first one couldn’t meet with his learning difficulties and so was given a place at the school he is now, but they think that he needs to be in an even more of a specialised school and I am nervous about it. With toilet issue it is important that he has easy access to these facilities and can easily go without fuss. We do pack spare pants just in case but like I say things have begun to improve and he will not wait until the last minute which is what he was initially doing.

I do hope it doesn’t affect his development, and he does dream, and this has been a challenging in terms of bedtime as he will wake up startled some nights, and he talks in his sleep and make sure that he has enough air and is properly tucked in. I avoid snacks in the evening and make sure he has a good fulfilling dinner and he will have a bath or shower, with the occasional wash and this does help him settle and he will in part of the evening sit with us and have quiet time.

So I hope this helps you, thank you for liking my blogs on this site and for subscribing, it really means a lot and if you have topics regarding parenting that you’d like me to talk about then please leave a comment below.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

When kids don’t get along/Stop Arguments

Me and my brother were as kids fighting and squabbling all of the time, and so whenver we’d played a game, like football and or a board game lead an argument. Some kids feel that it is okay to shout, and my eyes have been opened this week as I witnessed kids, whilst helping out at a kids club, ended up with some of them shouting. This opened my eyes, because we ourselves as adults do this too, and so is this effective?

The behaviour of a child comes from us their guardian and I would stop Henry my son from watching the Jeremy Kyle Show because of the shouting. This is not the way to communicate, yet it something we find ourselves naturally doing.

When it comes to children they will copy you, so you have to be aware of your own actions. Avoid swearing, and if a child moans about a child is doing that make them aware that if they continue then they will be consequences, like making them sit out until they learn that bad language is not welcomed.

Hitting is another issue, and you find that kids will lash out. It is a tough one because one child say they didn’t and that is was an accident, whilst the other child says no they did it on purpose. I found this difficult and I struggled with this. What I did was tell them both off together and made them apologise. However this wasn’t totally effective because one child refuse to. If it is someone elses child then tell their parent of but if it is your own child, then move them away and speak to them quietly as much as you can away fromk the other child. You will find that other children will try and stop it too.

My aim since doing the Playworker work is to help support parents with their lives with kids that have Learning difficulties and help children one to one with their parents as I have felt from this week, is that there still isn’t enough support for parents and their children. My Anxiety rose a lot and did effect me, and so really want to reach out and say “It is okay and you will be helped”, and I need to learn too.

I found it very hard to look after a group of children together when some have learning difficulties and the one area that showed when helping out a Holiday club that one area was, building friendships with other children, super shy and wanted to play on their own. Their was one child for example that was playing football, got angry over another set of kids because they weren’t following the rules and some racial names were being said.

This is another area, teaching kids how to communicate to each other better. I felt very overwhelmed by this and so could only image what that felt like to hear these bad words. I felt that some kids did suit the environment, and needed to be in a smaller group as it was a lot of kids and were different ages.

My son, loves other kids and likes to make friends, but when he doesn’t win at certain games, can begin to play up and be disruptive, or they are bored and needs to then do something else. With Henry it is two things, and must tidy up. Again he may not always want to, but with Henry he will often do it without prompting and so make it into a habit, by showing them what to do. Have everyone, including you tidy up, and make sure that they all are helping.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X