When kids take over and their the boss

My son now turns off my alarm in the morning and when I haven’t gotten up when he has, he has pulled the covers off and pull my legs to the side of the bed, and gotten me up.

My son at the Cat Cafe in Westfields in Shepherds bush London

Now I have changed my morning habit I now get up before him and between 4:30 to 5am and it has changed me. I am getting stuff done like never before, and it just happened, check out my blog on everyonecanbuildacastle. com

When it comes to children they will start to be more responsible and they will start to do things for themselves and tell us that we’ve said something wrong. Like if I accidentally say take of your shorts please when he has to get changed, and he is wearing pants he will correct me and say “You got it wrong didn’t you?” and I reply “Yes that’s right sorry”, acting sheepish.

When we play football he will move me to the spot and places me of where he wants me to stand, when I am allowed to play that is and he has been watching a lot of Man City Football matches on his tablet and will turn my head for me to watch them too or tell me to “Watch the TV” or “Go back to the Kitchen” if I am making dinner.

I wrote a blog post about if they want to help with chores then let them: If your child wants to help with the chores let them

My son will help his Grandpa, who is a caretaker of a school, to help with the bins. My son likes to help with cooking sometimes, but he gets a bit bored and his enthusiasm doesn’t last long, but the fact that he has helped a little bit means that he is ready to learn more and learn how to cook. That is a skill that should be taught to all children in my opinion, because if we want our kids to be independent, then cooking is essential to help with that.

My son at the moment is walking around the house with a duster. “YES” I feel, because the one thing we still need to work on is, clearing up after he has finished with something and making his bed. Kids need to learn how to respect the home and their bedrooms and keeping them clean.

Yes I was the one who, when my mum and dad would tell me to tidy my room shove everything in my wardrobe and draws, and become overloaded. I remember one time, as I would hoard, and my mum bought me a swatch watch. It was the latest watch at that time. This is the 80’s and kept on asking about it, and which I lied, saying it was on my desk, and asked me “Can you go and get it” and after 20mins or so, came into my room and said “Robert” my brother “Will help clear up your room”. It was my worst nightmare and it made me look after my belongings and room.

When I lost my first tooth I got really upset about it because I was scared of this tooth fairy that I didn’t want her coming into my room and waking me up, and this was when I didn’t sleep as I am often reminded of, and so they had to tell me the truth and they put the tooth under my brothers pillow and still got my 50p which was the rate back in those days, and made it clear I didn’t want the tooth fairy, but still have the money.

I would look after my own money. I like it when my son wants to pay for something. Like one weekend ago he wanted to use his money to buy a coffee at a coffee shop. It took me until I was at secondary to going into a shop and buy something for myself. I had such little confidence and would give money to a friend and she would get it for me. When a child wants to help with handing over money or use their parents bank card it is good, as they need to learn to pay for things themselves and be responsible when it comes to money. Check this blog I wrote that talks about teaching kids about saving money: Teaching kids about Saving money

Eventually our kids will have to go out into the big wide world, and create a life of their own and it is good to allow them to take charge, on different areas of life, as long as it is good and learn real skills. Lets share our lives as parents to support each other as parenting is a skill and so lets help one another to grow to help support our kids development, which helps us to develop and I am thankful for having my son, who brings me so much joy. I hope that this blog helps you, and thank you for visiting my site if you are new and you can subscribe which if you do, will be alerted when I upload a blog and I have a daily blog, check it out here: https://mydailythougthsandfeelings.blogspot.com/

I also post a newsletter each month on my site Everyonecanbuildacastle.com

I am also a author and so check out my Pinterest under My Books and this will lead you to my books, which I have written two parenting books, self help book and novels.

Have a good easter and there will be more blogs to come.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

Letting kids figure things out on their own

Kids need to figure things out by themselves when it comes to skills, like going down stairs with supervision, if they need a hand, and want go down them on their own, trying not to be anxious . When it came for my son, as he kept trying he found his own way of getting downstairs, and would slide down on his tummy, until he learned to walk down them.

Photo by Kampus Production on Pexels.com

He did have a walker and would whiz around the living room and when it came to walking if we noticed him he would sit down, and I swear that he was walking before we noticed, without us looking and the same with speech, which was limited at first but has improved lots. If he is reading and wants to hold the book I do and have him turn the pages, and if they want some time going through the pages of a book on their own, as long as they are safe, leave them to it. Of course if it is a book that is relevant for their age, and learning ability.

My son can be lazy, and still wants me to help him get dressed on some days, but I will put his clothes together, but will let him get on with it, and when he does it for himself, feels proud of himself, so some kids need prompting, but if they do it, give the praise. If your child demands that they want to do it by themselves then my tip, let them it means they want to be responsible and moving to the next step of their development. Check out a podcast by @melrobbins, who created the Let Them Theory, as you can use this method in many different ways:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d4z5C8G32AY

I did write another blog about Letting them help with things like, making dinner and wanting to help wash up: If your child wants to help with the chores let them

When it comes to opening wrappers from sweets, if they pull away because they want to figure it out, then again leave them to it, and if you show them where to put it once they have taken off the wrapper, keep reminding them, because they will do this on their own naturally, and on their own.

If they want to put their own clothes and toys away, give them a place to put it and they will follow and make it into a fun game so it gives even more encouragement, and if they put it in the wrong draw then that is fine. Keep showing them where their stuff goes, then again they will follow, and becomes second nature.

If they want to help with gardening. this can be a really good fun task, and when I planted some flowers, my son loved putting in soil into the plant pot and on the flower beds. He helped my mum plant some carrot seeds and was eager to see if they had grown. It didn’t work well as the seed that were planted , appeared to have been taken by wildlife and birds. However, can be a great activity for kids.

The same with if they want to clean your car, or they want to vacuum or wash up. As long as your near by and it is safe to do so, let them do it and when they want to make their own breakfast, or their lunch, say yes, and studies have shown that if they have helped to make their meals, the more they will eat it, if they are fussy about food. Henry will now fill up his cup on his own with milk, and seeing my son develop gives me such comfort, and makes being a mum, well worth it, and thankful that I am a mum and a parent. It is rewarding and mind blowing too.

The more kids get to figure things out for themselves, the more their mind and body will develop and great for kids welfare.

I hope this helps you and just to let you know I have written books on parenting and can be found on amazon, under the names, Carrie Challoner, Carrie Lee Holmes and Carrie Holmes. I also add content on my Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.co.uk/thetypicalLondongal/the-parenting-adventures/

I also have three Youtube Channel to:

https://www.youtube.com/@typicallondongal

https://www.youtube.com/@mywayofliving1602

https://www.youtube.com/@carrieseducationyoutubecha4891

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

Setting a good routine with your kids to help establish good positive habits

When Henry was a baby it took us about 5 months to find a good routine, but now he is older he lives by routine and hates change.

Get dressed together: Rather than getting one child dressed one at a time, have them all get dressed and have their older siblings help them and put some music on to create a calm atmosphere and do some activities in the morning to help boost their energy.

It is important to have breakfast and again, have all your children have breakfast together and help clean away the breakfast items and they help wash their bowls to put in the dishwasher, and ready to leave for school. Oh and make sure they have made their beds, packed their bags and have their bags together by the front door.

Have a meal together: I talk about this a lot but is important. My son when we spend the weekend together will have breakfast, lunch and dinner together because we don’t get a chance in the week and its just nice to add this in and for me it is family time.

Make sure they help once again with cleaning and drying the dishes, if you don’t have a dishwasher and have them help with tidying by making sure the items already dried and cleaned are put away. Oh and have them set the table for the meal and rotate it so they get to do different chores.

Have your kids cook a meal: last weekend my son made a vegetable soup and had some for his lunch and dinner on Monday as I travel to his dads house to wait for him to return to school, and so I make his dinner before his dad comes home and so cooking for me essential to help with their independence, you might like to read this blog too where I talk more about: Helping our kids to be healthy and independent

If they are tiny still of course this doesn’t apply to you, but tips for when they get bigger and if they show interest in food, try baby led weaning. if they are able to sit up, but if you not sure chat with your health advisor or doctor. Henry found this tricky so we just did small amount of food at first to help his body get used to food and started off with baby rice, and got into a routine of giving food at first in the morning and then slowly added more food through the day.

Laundry: When Henry has finished school I will have him take his uniform off and into some casual clothes and check it to see if they need to be washed. I am trying to teach him to fold his clothes, as he will take them off and if they are dirty I will ask him to put them into the washing machine. The next stage I want to help him with, is how to work a washing machine. That will come though, and with encourage and perseverance I know he will get it.

Teaching kids to tidy their clothes and fold them will be good for their motor skills and value their belongings and once he changes then we will play, unless he has homework, as we get this done first before we play. Oh and keep washing detergent out of reach, but helping them put it into to the washing machine ball, to put into the machine, and will help them understand what the detergent and the washing machine is for and always supervise. You may like to read this blog: Getting your kids to be more independent

Getting ready for bed: As Henry has grown he has gone to bed later, so now he will go to bed between half eight to half nine. Often he has asked if he can go to bed, as when they first begin school it can be tiring, and was hard to keep him awake and often when we would pick him up from school he would be a sleep.

So having a good bedtime routine is important for you and your children, and I will let my son wind down slowly because he has so much energy, and so once he has done his homework and changed, we play, before he has his dinner and his dad will do a bit of learning with him, like reading a book and when he stays with me, will now allow no watching his tablet after a certain time, and rest and watch some TV but he has had wash, bath or shower to relax and have quiet time. Then I will read to him and then it is bed time and I will do some writing and or watching youtube on my computer then I will read my book and then it is bedtime for me.

When a child has Autism they like to know what is going to happen and it also helps my son’s ADHD and work in blocks of time to make sure they have gotten to school on time and don’t have a meltdown. It helps them to look after themselves more because getting their bag ready is important and be a natural routine, whereby they don’t have to be told, but do it without a word being spoken.

So I hope that you have a good weekend and more blogs to come.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X