When kids take over and their the boss

My son now turns off my alarm in the morning and when I haven’t gotten up when he has, he has pulled the covers off and pull my legs to the side of the bed, and gotten me up.

My son at the Cat Cafe in Westfields in Shepherds bush London

Now I have changed my morning habit I now get up before him and between 4:30 to 5am and it has changed me. I am getting stuff done like never before, and it just happened, check out my blog on everyonecanbuildacastle. com

When it comes to children they will start to be more responsible and they will start to do things for themselves and tell us that we’ve said something wrong. Like if I accidentally say take of your shorts please when he has to get changed, and he is wearing pants he will correct me and say “You got it wrong didn’t you?” and I reply “Yes that’s right sorry”, acting sheepish.

When we play football he will move me to the spot and places me of where he wants me to stand, when I am allowed to play that is and he has been watching a lot of Man City Football matches on his tablet and will turn my head for me to watch them too or tell me to “Watch the TV” or “Go back to the Kitchen” if I am making dinner.

I wrote a blog post about if they want to help with chores then let them: If your child wants to help with the chores let them

My son will help his Grandpa, who is a caretaker of a school, to help with the bins. My son likes to help with cooking sometimes, but he gets a bit bored and his enthusiasm doesn’t last long, but the fact that he has helped a little bit means that he is ready to learn more and learn how to cook. That is a skill that should be taught to all children in my opinion, because if we want our kids to be independent, then cooking is essential to help with that.

My son at the moment is walking around the house with a duster. “YES” I feel, because the one thing we still need to work on is, clearing up after he has finished with something and making his bed. Kids need to learn how to respect the home and their bedrooms and keeping them clean.

Yes I was the one who, when my mum and dad would tell me to tidy my room shove everything in my wardrobe and draws, and become overloaded. I remember one time, as I would hoard, and my mum bought me a swatch watch. It was the latest watch at that time. This is the 80’s and kept on asking about it, and which I lied, saying it was on my desk, and asked me “Can you go and get it” and after 20mins or so, came into my room and said “Robert” my brother “Will help clear up your room”. It was my worst nightmare and it made me look after my belongings and room.

When I lost my first tooth I got really upset about it because I was scared of this tooth fairy that I didn’t want her coming into my room and waking me up, and this was when I didn’t sleep as I am often reminded of, and so they had to tell me the truth and they put the tooth under my brothers pillow and still got my 50p which was the rate back in those days, and made it clear I didn’t want the tooth fairy, but still have the money.

I would look after my own money. I like it when my son wants to pay for something. Like one weekend ago he wanted to use his money to buy a coffee at a coffee shop. It took me until I was at secondary to going into a shop and buy something for myself. I had such little confidence and would give money to a friend and she would get it for me. When a child wants to help with handing over money or use their parents bank card it is good, as they need to learn to pay for things themselves and be responsible when it comes to money. Check this blog I wrote that talks about teaching kids about saving money: Teaching kids about Saving money

Eventually our kids will have to go out into the big wide world, and create a life of their own and it is good to allow them to take charge, on different areas of life, as long as it is good and learn real skills. Lets share our lives as parents to support each other as parenting is a skill and so lets help one another to grow to help support our kids development, which helps us to develop and I am thankful for having my son, who brings me so much joy. I hope that this blog helps you, and thank you for visiting my site if you are new and you can subscribe which if you do, will be alerted when I upload a blog and I have a daily blog, check it out here: https://mydailythougthsandfeelings.blogspot.com/

I also post a newsletter each month on my site Everyonecanbuildacastle.com

I am also a author and so check out my Pinterest under My Books and this will lead you to my books, which I have written two parenting books, self help book and novels.

Have a good easter and there will be more blogs to come.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

When times are tough

In the past week I am not going to pretend that parenting my son has been wonderful and hunky dory, I have found parenting quite tough, due to Henry purposely bedwetting, not wanting to go to bed during the night and getting into ours and having constant tantrums and strops.

We have told him he can get into our bed wants he learns to consistently keep the bed dry. This is starting to help with this situation, we think anyway.

 

I felt really down on some days, to the point I felt like there was no way out. I know this is just a phase and I keep reminding myself of this, but at times I do feel like there is no resolution.

When times are tough I do want to hide away and hibernate until it is all resolved. However I know this isn’t the answer.

There is always resolution. I want my son to be able to express himself so I don’t want him to feel he can’t talk to me or tell me he is not happy about something.

Check out this article about children’s communication needs:

https://www.norfolk.gov.uk/children-and-families/send-local-offer/health/health-services-in-norfolk/speech-and-language/childrens-speech-language-and-communication-needs

 

The more open I think children are the more we as parents can help them in situations and so the one thing I do try to avoid is to shut him down completely but advise him that talking in a angry manner isn’t the way, and I try to go through with him what he is not happy about, when it isn’t clear.

Henry has development delay and we also found out during the summer holidays that he has ADHD, and there is a possibility not sure as of yet as it is still being looked into by the doctor at our local hospital, slight Autism aswell.

These are obstacles, because Henry is still learning to communicate, he now gets speech therapy on a Monday at school, to help him because this is one of the areas he is delayed on. His communication and words are getting better but still limited going on his age. Check out my blog I wrote about him on my other site I share with this site:

https://theparentingadventures.wordpress.com/

Going on my son’s behaviour a lot of it is because he can’t get what he wants or he doesn’t want to do something. Example after school the one thing we have set into place is he must do his homework. This after he has had his treat, which is given to him if he has behaved at school and the teacher who looks after Henry on the day will report this to me with feedback of his day and if he has walked nicely to and from school.

Of course like we all do, after a day of being busy learning, playing and being active, we don’t always want to do homework, but of course it has to be done and so we have made it into a routine for him, so he knows before he can continue to play, relax, watch TV or play out in the garden for example he has to do his homework, and boy can he kick off.

Check out my blog about Getting back into a school routine.

Nevertheless I say “Okay, I know your tired, this is what we are going to do, and once we are done you can choose whatever you would like to do afterwards” Within reason of course. This usually works, he may still protest a little, but once he sees that there will be silence in the room until he has completed his homework and from experience it is best to do homework in my book without distractions, he will usually gets it done.

The one thing I have now put into place is a reward system, whereby when Henry has kept the bed dry, behaved at school, walked nicely to school and back, brushed his teeth without fuss and done his homework, we tick this off and he gets rewarded with a sticker, then once the chart is fully completed we count how may ticks he got that week and if he completed all five on any of the days he gets two stickers and then once completed for that week he gets a bigger reward of his choice.

So far it is really helping matters. The one below is from Poundland but you can make your own. When making one why not get them involved.

I do use bribery too, but this is beginning to wear thin. I know many may not agree with bribery but as a parent you do what you gotta do.

I have written a blog a while ago about Dealing with Bad behaviour and this gives more tips and ideas of how to help when your child is misbehaving and advice on Preventing meltdown and tantrums.

I really hope this has in some way has helped you When times are tough and remember you can get through it, and it will pass. Children will continue to grow and so do we as parents. It is a tricky business at times, but then my son will do something that has me in hysterics and reminds me why, even though he does drive me mad at times, why I love him so much.

To help you as a parent gain sanity when times are tough is to take some time out and if you need to spend a few moments in another room, then do so.

Whenever I have problems that can effect my mood, my feelings and emotions the one thing I practice a lot is mindfulness. Check out my website below where I talk about this technique a lot.

https://everyonecanbuildacastle.com/

Another way to go deal when times are tough is to keep a journal. This may sound Cliche, but it really does help reflect on your emotions and gain perspective. It can help identify why your child is behaving in a certain way that is effecting their wellbeing and yours, which can then create bad habits and journalling can help you get to grips with it.

I wrote a blog about The Art Keeping a Journal and why I have always followed this method to help whenever I feel happy or down.

Do a Bullet Journal if it helps and list all the emotions and feelings and the behaviours and issues you are having with your child or children.

Please check out this ladies blog about 3 Unexpected Benefits of Keeping a Bullet Journal

Do what you feel will help you and your child, as only you know your children

Please, if you missed my last blog about Celebrating birthdays, then please go ahead and read this now.

If you would like to be kept up to date with my blogs on this site, then you can do so by following me on WordPress.com. If you do have had tough times then please share or get into contact with me if there is a topic you would like me to write about that I haven’t covered in terms of parenting. You can leave a comment below.

I do have other blog sites see below:

https://www.carriesrealworld.com/

https://everydaylivingandlifestyle.wordpress.com/

https://sportsandfitnesspassion.wordpress.com/

Many thanks for reading,

 

Carrie X

P.S: I also share my blogs and my world through Pinterest and social media (see below):

 

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https://www.instagram.com/cazzasrealworld/?hl=en

 

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Sextuplets

I thought having one child was challenging enough, but when watching this video of the Sextuplets at 30, whom were born in 1983 it made me realise I have nothing to complain about.

Here is the video about the first Sextuplet girls, the Walton’s of them turning 30.

Truly inspiring and that miracles can happen.

Things I know now since being a parent

1. Tiredness and sleep deprivation in parents can last until they are 3 years and older
2. There is no one way, everyone can have a different style of parenting, who’s judging?
3. Continues to be challenging, especially come potty training time
4. Every minute of the day matters
5. When you get free time to yourself, finally, you can feel lost
6. If you suffer with Anxiety it can increase
7. No time off really
8. Tantrums are non avoidable at times no matter what you try to prevent and stop them
9. Once your child begins walking you are forever running
10. You never know what your child is going to do at times, but that’s the joy of it all

I would love to know what things you have learned to.

Many thanks for reading,

 

Carrie

Toilet training

I didn’t expect this would be easy, but you do have to take a chunk of your schedule to go through this new transition, I discovered. I have to accept that Henry will have accidents and it may take several times for my son to get used to the fact that he won’t be toileting in the nappy anymore.

 

We have had some success, 3 times so far, but now it as if he is avoiding going in the potty, but is understanding that if he needs to go, it has to be in the nappy, and so it is teaching him to communicate to us too, that he needs to go. Get used to not having a nappy on. I did introduce pants, but they lasted on him about 2 minutes, so need to continue with this one.

So on Sunday I am going try different techniques and see if we have success.

It is going to take time, but I know I just have to be persistent and start teaching him that soon there will be no nappy and will have to use the potty or toilet.

I will report back once I have learned more.

Many thanks for reading,

 

Carrie X

Potty training

Yes we are potty training at the moment, and yesterday Henry used his potty for the first time and actually had a pea.

Why am I sharing this?

Well because I know how tricky of a transition it is. One minute they are in nappies next they are having to use this plastic thing and it is a different ball game altogether.

We did have a little accident the day before, I won’t say anymore, but I had to stick Henry straight in the bath, but least it happened in the right place, the bathroom, just not in the potty itself, well some of it was but I hadn’t realised until I trod straight into it.

My fault!

As said before you can prepare yourself but you can never really plan, when it comes to children.

Sorry for the TMI. Henry will probably be totally embarrased if he reads this when he is 18 years old. However it is out of good reason to help and give support to other mums, who may also be potty training now too.

If your child is potty training at the moment too, then my advice is to persist and be patient. If they aren’t ready then do not fear, you will soon know when they are. Henry was even asking for the potty and tells us when he needs his nappy changed. So children do pick up new skills quicker than what we think they do.

So true when it comes to children, every day is different, and you don’t know what to expect, so you just have to continue on, the best you can.

Anyway I will keep you updated on more news and what I am learning as a parent.

Thanks for reading,

 

Carrie X