Building our kids happiness and Wellbeing

Not normally a place I’d be, sitting at my desk on a Saturday starting a new blog. usually I am spending time with my son, because he wants my attention a lot so it can be impossible, but I like to have that time too. Saturday’s is usually day off, but had to write this blog because spending time with my son inspires me to write these blogs. Being a mum it is important that he is happy and has a good wellbeing.

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First tips# Look after your own happiness and wellbeing.

You need to spend time working on your own happiness and wellbeing as things in life can get us down, and so spend time going through as a parent of what is getting you down.

I am not saying you have to hide your emotions but use those hard times to push you forward. Believe in yourself and tell yourself “I am worth being happy” and this will help you to help your kids and talk. This is so important because bottling up your emotions can lead you into a downward spiral.

Second tip# Teach your kids about boundaries for themselves and other children

The area that we have been installing in our son is to respect personal space, and about boundaries to help him build good relationships and how to communicate, but he is loving and rarely lashes out, but some kids like adults like to be hugged or kissed. He did as a toddler would pinch and bite as he began nursery and school, but has stopped that. He can get stroppy if is playing a game and loses, but has learned and he just out of the blue that “It isn’t about winning but having fun”. This is still a working process and he does have his own boundaries. Example: When he is eating he likes his own space and for example: When he is eating his dinner likes to get on with it, and be left alone. Most of the time though is very friendly, but if another child doesn’t want a hug then we are teaching him to respect that child but still be friendly but keeping some distance apart.

This means allowing him to interact. Today it was my nieces birthday and he has been fine, the only thing was he kept wanting to see my brothers, sister in-law and nieces cat who is very timid and can scratch.

Yet he did obey and played nicely with the other children and before I would be hanging around him, but got into just allowing him to play and there were other families there and so this helped, but he wasn’t defiant and had a really good day.

Third tip# Involve them in decisions for example what we are going to do each day.

When we plan to go out I will make sure he is involved and have him tell me what he’d like to do and if it is possible we will do it, within reason,. and I say that because when we have gotten the train from London Waterloo he will see a train going to Winchester, and yes we can go there but is a distance and normally later in the day for us to visit. However I have written this place down and to see if we can go there by train in the summer holidays.

Fourth tip# Create some quiet time

Henry when he wakes up is full of energy and he pulls me out of bed to get up. He is an early bird and wants to play with his balloon, watch his tablet and will want breakfast. I however I like a bit of peace so I like to have a peaceful morning whilst he is having his breakfast have my morning cup of tea, and I often think I will watch a bit of youtube but this just makes me sleepy so I will watch a bit of quiet TV and do this as Henry will sit down quietly and eat his breakfast.

Set the tone, as often kids when they see you chilling will do the same. Now this is not all the time, but will take it in when we do as it is great way of building our relationship and I like to take my time and this helps us both in getting ready for the day.

When travelling we will be nice and peaceful, and avoid rushing, but taking it all in.

Then get ready at the same time for bed in the evening.

It is getting enough rest to help kick start our days we spend together. I want my son to be happy and excited about each day and will listen to him when he is unhappy and why. At the moment he will say things if he doesn’t want to do something and then start to play up0 and so having quiet time allows him to calm down and when he has had his bath I have sat with him on the toilet with seat down of course but just chilling and a bath or showers for kids, works wonders.

So I hope this blog helps you and thanks to those whose are following me it means a lot.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

Kids and diet

As a kid I was a super fussy eater and would not have sauces, vegetables unless they were a pea, and when I ordered a burger in McDonalds I would have just the bun and the burger and wouldn’t stand it when food touched other food on the plate. If a pea, and had to be garden peas, touched a chip of example I wouldn’t eat the chip, but eat the pea.

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When I first weaned Henry I started with baby rice and porridge and Farley Rusks, and would make my own vegetable purees and he loved them, especially if it was sweet potato and carrots for example and cabbage soup and loved it. Yet now won’t touch a vegetable unless it is super hidden. He is not as fussy like I was, and will eat when he feels like it a banana, but won’t touch any other fruit.

A kids diet has to be nutritious and filling and avoiding too many snacks, but making sure they are hydrated especially in the summer and have a good breakfast, a good lunch and good dinner is important, but when they are fussy it is fish fingers or chicken nuggets and not anything else. So how to get them eat well?

if they can’t see it they can’t moan about it

So making meals that hides the vegetables is a must and Henry is given a multivitamin everyday in liquid form. I have avoided Henry from fizzy drinks and will only have milk or water. I make sure Henry has good amount of exercise and so after he has had his dinner we will go out into the garden to play some football, or I get him to run around a cone, just making sure he is active. I know some say that they shouldn’t exercise after they have eaten, but it is good for their digestion and it’s not fast, intense exercise just a jog and a kick about.

I don’t have it all sussed out. On the contrary, and do doubt myself as a parent at times, but if he has a good amount of energy, and does some form of physical activity, whether it is tennis or cricket, and a good night sleep then, we as a parent can relax too and helps with our wellbeing too. When it comes to activities it can be one child at a time or something the whole family can do. My son would often join in, when I exercise and dancing, like we did today, when he came home from school whilst his dinner was cooling down.

Life as a parent is not always straight forward, and there will be times where they’d rather watch a video on youtube than play football, but aren’t we all like that at times? I spend a lot of time at my desk, writing and not exercise, but I know I have to move in order to get to Epsom ready for when my son returns from school. Any forms of exercise is good, if you enjoy it and ready so they are properly hungry so they will eat and have them help make food. It is one of the best ways for them to try new foods. I want my son to learn how to cook, and grow his tastes so he is not be fussy and gets the nutrients he needs.

It can be hard work and like last week Henry moaned about having pasta, but he ate it as there was nothing else and is not going to have chips everyday or nuggets. I have worked on my taste buds too, and have controlled my eating. I am no longer super fussy and I now do eat my vegetables and so will your children. persevere, and if they don’t like it at first keep trying, and often if he sees us eat something he not ever had, he was often ask if he can have some. So moving on the right track. Well I hope so, and having a meal together has helped to. As a kid we always sat as a family eating our dinner and so important in their development.

I do write books on parenting on Amazon, under the name Carrie Challoner or Carrie Holmes.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X