creating happiness in your kids | The parenting adventures

Not normally a place I’d be, sitting at my desk on a Saturday starting a new blog. usually I am spending time with my son, because he wants my attention a lot so it can be impossible, but I like to have that time too. Saturday’s is usually day off, but had to write this blog because spending time with my son inspires me to write these blogs. Being a mum it is important that he is happy and has a good wellbeing.

First tips# Look after your own happiness and wellbeing.

You need to spend time working on your own happiness and wellbeing as things in life can get us down, and so spend time going through as a parent of what is getting you down.

I am not saying you have to hide your emotions but use those hard times to push you forward. Believe in yourself and tell yourself “I am worth being happy” and this will help you to help your kids and talk. This is so important because bottling up your emotions can lead you into a downward spiral.

Second tip# Teach your kids about boundaries for themselves and other children

The area that we have been installing in our son is to respect personal space, and about boundaries to help him build good relationships and how to communicate, but he is loving and rarely lashes out, but some kids like adults like to be hugged or kissed. He did as a toddler would pinch and bite as he began nursery and school, but has stopped that. He can get stroppy if is playing a game and loses, but has learned and he just out of the blue that “It isn’t about winning but having fun”. This is still a working process and he does have his own boundaries. Example: When he is eating he likes his own space and for example: When he is eating his dinner likes to get on with it, and be left alone. Most of the time though is very friendly, but if another child doesn’t want a hug then we are teaching him to respect that child but still be friendly but keeping some distance apart.

This means allowing him to interact. Today it was my nieces birthday and he has been fine, the only thing was he kept wanting to see my brothers, sister in-law and nieces cat who is very timid and can scratch.

Yet he did obey and played nicely with the other children and before I would be hanging around him, but got into just allowing him to play and there were other families there and so this helped, but he wasn’t defiant and had a really good day.

Third tip# Involve them in decisions for example what we are going to do each day.

When we plan to go out I will make sure he is involved and have him tell me what he’d like to do and if it is possible we will do it, within reason,. and I say that because when we have gotten the train from London Waterloo he will see a train going to Winchester, and yes we can go there but is a distance and normally later in the day for us to visit. However I have written this place down and to see if we can go there by train in the summer holidays.

Fourth tip# Create some quiet time

Henry when he wakes up is full of energy and he pulls me out of bed to get up. He is an early bird and wants to play with his balloon, watch his tablet and will want breakfast. I however I like a bit of peace so I like to have a peaceful morning whilst he is having his breakfast have my morning cup of tea, and I often think I will watch a bit of youtube but this just makes me sleepy so I will watch a bit of quiet TV and do this as Henry will sit down quietly and eat his breakfast.

Set the tone, as often kids when they see you chilling will do the same. Now this is not all the time, but will take it in when we do as it is great way of building our relationship and I like to take my time and this helps us both in getting ready for the day.

When travelling we will be nice and peaceful, and avoid rushing, but taking it all in.

Then get ready at the same time for bed in the evening.

It is getting enough rest to help kick start our days we spend together. I want my son to be happy and excited about each day and will listen to him when he is unhappy and why. At the moment he will say things if he doesn’t want to do something and then start to play up0 and so having quiet time allows him to calm down and when he has had his bath I have sat with him on the toilet with seat down of course but just chilling and a bath or showers for kids, works wonders.

So I hope this blog helps you and thanks to those whose are following me it means a lot.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

When you have only one TV and 5 kids then it is like “Right how do we make sure that all get a chance to watch what they want?” well, allocate time for each child on different days and create a TV planner on your fridge on on the living room table, for them to write down what programmes they like and want to watch. If there is one they all like then its right lets put it on, but if they have others that not everyone does like then create a TV schedule for each child, and if you have Sky or Now TV for example add the programme in a timer, or saved to record so it goes into the planner and allow them time in the week for them to watch that show, and do the same for all kids.

It is good to have kids play board games as they are a great way of teaching the to play together and form relationships and it good bonding time between you and then being the parent and with their siblings.

When it comes to toys find ones that can be easily shared like a talking cuddly toy, and you can sit with them and play, and this way you are giving yourself time with them, and letting them both you attention, or skipping. I loved it when we would do skipping and it would be a whoe load of us joining in.

Play a sport like volley ball, badminton or football, anything that doesn’t leave another child out. Then tthere are toys that is meant for one person to use at a time and what I would do is have a timer so each child has 15 to 20 minutes to play with that toy, and then they have to pass it ti the other chlld and given them an alternative toy, each so they are not left sitting there and swap over once the 20 minutes is up.

When it comes to each child and having one to one time, is just important and we can’t with all our powers as humans, separate ourselves physically so I would allow each child a day or just an hour or your time with just them and schedule this and let each child know together of when they will have one to one with each parent and have then choose itens of a list which you can work with them to write, and of what they wish to do.

Have a day out with each child having one to one and have them choose some activities they would like to do outside aswell as indoors and arrange it. Even if it is to have their haircut or some retail therapy. Just have that time and make it the same amount for each child in your family.

Its all about sharing and caring, and being free for each child and make them known that they are just as important as the other children you have in your household.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie L.M X